Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero (2014) s01e20 Episode Script
Hail Larry
Wherever good is threatened, heroes rise to the challenge and always save the day! Except when they don't.
And that's when I go to work.
I zap in two dimensions every day It's my job to be a hero, save the world And make things right Kung fu moles, rescue trolls Punch a zombie! Score a goal! I'm a robot, I'm a rabbit, I'm a knight Stretching, swinging, sliding by Kicking monsters in the eye Boone and Sashi always sticking by my side No villain's gonna stop Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero sync & rough corr.
by f1nc0 Cock-a-doodle-doo! Today's the day, today's the day My 50th zap, being a hero my way The sky is blue, my MUHU too Saving the world is what I'm gonna do Oh, when I started this, I was but a boy But I'm still a boy So I don't know what my point was But on my 50th zap I won't switch genders so I'll still be a boy A boy they'll throw a surprise party for Oh, today's the day Today's the day My 50th zap that I will make And they will throw me a surprise party And I will eat some Surprise! Hey, it's our 50th zap, too.
Ooh! Nice.
Congratulation on 50th zap thing.
Parents have two second to give compliment.
- We're so proud - You make me so Two seconds are up.
I am going to hug you now.
It's not weird.
Dude, 50 zaps.
I totally remember our very first one.
- Me, too.
- Yeah.
Well, no time for a flashback.
Let's get to work.
Is okay, I built flashback time into schedule.
Yeah, just not feelin' a flashback.
You will flash back.
It's your very first day of school.
- Day of school! - Day of school! Day of high school! I should probably wear pants.
Who's ready for breakfast? Huh.
For life insurance salespeople, you sure are nimble.
What you're heading into might feel overwhelming, but you are capable of so much.
And no matter how hard things get, just be yourself.
Why are you guys being so dramatic? We'll pick you up after school.
But if for some reason we're late That rundown movie theater? If we're late, just go there.
There's nothing to worry about.
Why would I be worried? I love you so much, pal.
- Love you, sweetie.
- Okay, guys.
This is turning into a bit of a scene here.
I love my son! Ho-ho, up top.
All right, hey.
Nice to make your acquaintance, my good man, or woman.
I'm not making any assumptions.
We don't know what's going on in there.
Hey, put me in, coach, I'm ready to go.
Watch the enthusiasm, mister.
Doesn't make any sense.
Why would they put a urinal in the hallway? Uh, Boone, that's a water fountain.
Never drink from that.
Uh, what was with your dad? I don't know.
They've been acting real weird.
Think they might have some important life insurance sales meeting today.
Yeah, "life insurance.
" Yeah, right.
That is what their jobs are.
Bump me again, I'll punch your face till your hair goes straight.
Your nose is impossible.
Finally got out of the locker Well, she seems nice.
Good morning, students.
My name is Principal Larry.
I just wanted to say Today is the first day of school And first days of school always rule, rule, rule You seem like a fun and a peppy, peppy crowd And I'd hug you all, but legally, I'm not allowed Good morning, students.
My name is Principal Larry.
No smiling.
This is just my face.
How unfortunate for you.
- Name.
- Penn.
- Ben what? - No, uh, Penn.
- Yes, Ben.
- Penn.
- Ben.
- Penn.
With a "P.
" Penn.
Penn Zero.
Penn Zero.
Well, why didn't you say so? I've been so looking forward to meeting you.
Well, uh, that seems like a nice thing to say, but your ultra-creepy grin says otherwise.
I have a perfectly charming grin.
But I'm going to make your life a waking nightmare.
I'm going to crush your spirit, and make you beg for mercy.
In Art? Sure, yes.
Art.
Dibs.
Well, at least my parents forgot to pick me up.
Go into that building and you will die is the name of this book.
Okey-doke.
Good day.
Hello? You're late.
- What? - Sign this form.
Remove metal from pocket.
Stamp timecard, part-time job starts now.
I don't wait.
What part-time job? Same as parents.
You are protector of all good in infinite universes.
Infinite what? Infinite universes.
You zap to worlds, fill in for heroes who need your help, and save the day.
You are part-time hero.
Hey, Penn, you ready to do this? Boone? You're a half-time hero, too? Negatory.
I am the part-time wise man.
Me gots the brains.
What happened? Where are my parents? Something went little terrible last mission.
Is okay.
They are alive.
Just, uh, trapped forever in most dangerous world imaginable.
Most dang did you just say most dangerous world imaginable? You sent them to a place called the most dangerous world imaginable! They sent themselves.
They asked to go.
To save all universes; to save you.
They knew the risks.
The cry-baby better not be my part-time hero, 'cause that would waste 13 years of sidekick training.
And that? What's the deal, old lady? Hey, cut it out.
This is team.
Sashi, part-time sidekick.
Boone, part-time wise man.
And Penn Zero, part-time hero.
Okay, we begin.
Whoa, what? Now?! What is problem? Yeah, I am not a hero.
I am a kid, who found out three seconds ago that his parents are now trapped in a crazy dangerous alternate universe.
I'm just not ready for this in any way, - and frankly shocked - Penn Zero, no one is ever ready.
Good luck.
Whoa! What just happened? Where am I? Why are there three moons? Quiet.
You'll give away our position.
We are all going to die! Relax.
I've seen this 1,000 times.
The reluctant hero, forced to act before you've gained the courage to do so.
But believe me.
A hero lies within that childlike 90-pound body, and you will rise to the challenge, and save the day.
And if you can believe in yourself, there is nothing that will ever stop you! Training simulation terminated.
That was completely unacceptable! Okay, training over.
Now for reals.
What? No, I cannot do this.
I won't.
I'm not a hero.
I quit.
You should quit, too.
Mom, Dad.
I had the weirdest dream.
Good morning, good morning Get out of bed Wake up, wake up, wake up, sleepyhead Uncle Chuck, Aunt Rose? What are you doing here? Well, we're here to take care of you until your parents figure out their little situation.
By "little situation," do you mean trapped in the most dangerous world imaginable? Yeah, but I got hash browns.
You put raisins in your hash browns? Those aren't raisins.
Get outta here.
We're leaving, we're leaving You need to get it together, man.
I didn't train my whole life to have my career derailed by a weenie.
You know what? If you want it so bad, you scary little ninja, you be the hero.
You're more than qualified.
I don't wanna be the hero.
Sidekicks specialize in kicking and fighting and destroying and ripping things apart.
That actually cost hundreds of dollars.
Saved up for a year for it.
I could call the police at this point.
Look, I can only achieve my best if you're at your best, too.
Or if you die on a mission, then you're replaced by someone actually qualified.
You're demonstrating some very worrisome tendencies.
Do you have any skills? Well, I'm pretty good at # makin' up songs! # See you at school.
- Ha ha, there he is.
- Dad! You're okay.
Hey, was the smoke cool? Your mom thought it might be too much, - but it was your big moment.
- Is that Penn? Mom? That crazy theater lady said that you were in the most dangerous world imaginable.
That is a bit of an exaggeration.
Incoming! Dad! Whoa! Okay, we are in the most dangerous world imaginable.
But we're getting lots of exercise.
We would've told you, but we wanted you to have a normal childhood.
Not worrying about the balance of good and evil teetering on the brink of destruction every day, which it is.
It always is.
We know it's a lot of responsibility, but so are your pet fish.
Uh, I don't know if I can do it.
Of course you can.
We believe in you, honey.
Holy moley! Don't worry about saving the world.
Just worry about being yourself.
- But also save the world.
- Mom! Just promise me something, Penn.
- That no matter what happens - Yeah? you won't let Uncle Chuck use my toilet.
Bye.
Yah! Hey, yes.
Hello.
- Cathy.
- Is Phyllis.
Phyllis, yes.
Look, since it's my first zap, why not just take it easy on me? Maybe a beginner world.
I don't choose the world.
Right.
No, yeah, I get that.
I totally understand.
It's just, if the hero's supposed to win, wouldn't it be better if I go to a place where I won't immediately die? I know, I know.
You don't choose the world.
No, but I chose your parents, and I chose you.
All right, Phyllis, zap one.
Any words of advice? Yes.
Yes.
What was it? It was something I forget.
Anyway, good luck.
Oh, yeah! I am a pajama person.
- Wizard.
- Fine.
I am a pajama wizard.
What's the game plan? Uh, yeah, glad you asked.
The the plan falls on me.
So I will tell you that I have no idea.
Ooh! You are a brave knight.
Me or Penn? Penn? I don't know.
Boone, you're a wizard.
- And I am a - Fairy.
Winged warrior.
Our mission: using the weapon of our choice, we must defeat the evil sorcerer in an epic battle against his fire-breathing dragon and his army of a billion goblins.
Not funny.
What is it for real? Hello, students.
Oh, didn't they tell you? I'm the part-time villain.
And I'm the part-time minion.
Larry, please don't undermine me.
This is our first hero-villain encounter.
It's rather important.
I know, dummy.
That's why I made you this.
Goblins, get them.
Okay, Penn, you're a knight.
Be the knight.
Right.
Be the knight.
You can do this.
Thank you.
You didn't just run.
I'm not running.
This is a fast walk.
Maybe a mosey.
At most, a saunter.
- Use your magic.
- On it.
Oh, I knew this would be easy.
But I mean, come on.
I thought you'd have a little fight after what I did to your mummy and daddy.
- It was you? - Yeah.
Now, with no heroes to stop me, my part-time days are over.
These worlds would crumble with a real hero.
Why would they have a chance with you? Why would they have a chance with me? You know what? You're right.
Everywhere we go, you'll always know what the real hero's supposed to do.
But that's good, 'cause I'm not the real hero.
I'm a total dork.
- Okay.
What are you blathering about? - I accept.
Ha! Three kids versus an army of a billion? And me, and a dragon? And me, with s'mores? So I get to choose the weapon we battle with? - That's right.
- Then the weapon I choose is rock and roll! What? You can't.
Boone, hook it up.
On it.
You want an epic battle That's exactly what you're gonna get I'll rock the medieval countryside And never miss a fret What's my name? My name is Penn Zero What's my name? My name is Penn Zero His name is Penn Zero, he's an ordinary kid But he's gonna blow your house down And that's exactly what I did Don't rock out, attack him.
But I can't stop listening.
It's so good! It's a righteous rock battle So let the stage burn Three kids versus a billion Take the mic, it's your turn Larry, hit me! I am Rippen, and I can also rock I climb a mighty dragon And fly it to the top Well, at least wait for the second verse.
No one's waiting for the second verse We're coming for you in every universe You're a fool.
I outsmarted your parents.
Who do you think you are? My name is Penn Zero And I'm here to save the world My name is Penn Zero I'm a part-time hero I don't like to admit I was wrong about someone, so I won't.
Oh! Thank you.
I really wish I could keep these pajamas.
Oh, chain mail? Cool.
What's wrong? You forget this was flashback? Oh, you know, Penn, that chain mail shirt was in there by accident.
It was part of a Halloween costume.
Oh, okay.
Cool.
Uh, 50th zap.
Let's do this, guys.
It's not actually metal.
More of a breathable cheap plastic mesh for ladies, but you make it work.
- Go with it, buddy.
- Okay, not helping, Dad.
Trying to get in the zone here.
Your mother wore it the night of our tenth anniversary.
I won't go into the details.
Okay, just zap us already! She looked spectacular.
sync & rough corr.
by f1nc0
And that's when I go to work.
I zap in two dimensions every day It's my job to be a hero, save the world And make things right Kung fu moles, rescue trolls Punch a zombie! Score a goal! I'm a robot, I'm a rabbit, I'm a knight Stretching, swinging, sliding by Kicking monsters in the eye Boone and Sashi always sticking by my side No villain's gonna stop Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero sync & rough corr.
by f1nc0 Cock-a-doodle-doo! Today's the day, today's the day My 50th zap, being a hero my way The sky is blue, my MUHU too Saving the world is what I'm gonna do Oh, when I started this, I was but a boy But I'm still a boy So I don't know what my point was But on my 50th zap I won't switch genders so I'll still be a boy A boy they'll throw a surprise party for Oh, today's the day Today's the day My 50th zap that I will make And they will throw me a surprise party And I will eat some Surprise! Hey, it's our 50th zap, too.
Ooh! Nice.
Congratulation on 50th zap thing.
Parents have two second to give compliment.
- We're so proud - You make me so Two seconds are up.
I am going to hug you now.
It's not weird.
Dude, 50 zaps.
I totally remember our very first one.
- Me, too.
- Yeah.
Well, no time for a flashback.
Let's get to work.
Is okay, I built flashback time into schedule.
Yeah, just not feelin' a flashback.
You will flash back.
It's your very first day of school.
- Day of school! - Day of school! Day of high school! I should probably wear pants.
Who's ready for breakfast? Huh.
For life insurance salespeople, you sure are nimble.
What you're heading into might feel overwhelming, but you are capable of so much.
And no matter how hard things get, just be yourself.
Why are you guys being so dramatic? We'll pick you up after school.
But if for some reason we're late That rundown movie theater? If we're late, just go there.
There's nothing to worry about.
Why would I be worried? I love you so much, pal.
- Love you, sweetie.
- Okay, guys.
This is turning into a bit of a scene here.
I love my son! Ho-ho, up top.
All right, hey.
Nice to make your acquaintance, my good man, or woman.
I'm not making any assumptions.
We don't know what's going on in there.
Hey, put me in, coach, I'm ready to go.
Watch the enthusiasm, mister.
Doesn't make any sense.
Why would they put a urinal in the hallway? Uh, Boone, that's a water fountain.
Never drink from that.
Uh, what was with your dad? I don't know.
They've been acting real weird.
Think they might have some important life insurance sales meeting today.
Yeah, "life insurance.
" Yeah, right.
That is what their jobs are.
Bump me again, I'll punch your face till your hair goes straight.
Your nose is impossible.
Finally got out of the locker Well, she seems nice.
Good morning, students.
My name is Principal Larry.
I just wanted to say Today is the first day of school And first days of school always rule, rule, rule You seem like a fun and a peppy, peppy crowd And I'd hug you all, but legally, I'm not allowed Good morning, students.
My name is Principal Larry.
No smiling.
This is just my face.
How unfortunate for you.
- Name.
- Penn.
- Ben what? - No, uh, Penn.
- Yes, Ben.
- Penn.
- Ben.
- Penn.
With a "P.
" Penn.
Penn Zero.
Penn Zero.
Well, why didn't you say so? I've been so looking forward to meeting you.
Well, uh, that seems like a nice thing to say, but your ultra-creepy grin says otherwise.
I have a perfectly charming grin.
But I'm going to make your life a waking nightmare.
I'm going to crush your spirit, and make you beg for mercy.
In Art? Sure, yes.
Art.
Dibs.
Well, at least my parents forgot to pick me up.
Go into that building and you will die is the name of this book.
Okey-doke.
Good day.
Hello? You're late.
- What? - Sign this form.
Remove metal from pocket.
Stamp timecard, part-time job starts now.
I don't wait.
What part-time job? Same as parents.
You are protector of all good in infinite universes.
Infinite what? Infinite universes.
You zap to worlds, fill in for heroes who need your help, and save the day.
You are part-time hero.
Hey, Penn, you ready to do this? Boone? You're a half-time hero, too? Negatory.
I am the part-time wise man.
Me gots the brains.
What happened? Where are my parents? Something went little terrible last mission.
Is okay.
They are alive.
Just, uh, trapped forever in most dangerous world imaginable.
Most dang did you just say most dangerous world imaginable? You sent them to a place called the most dangerous world imaginable! They sent themselves.
They asked to go.
To save all universes; to save you.
They knew the risks.
The cry-baby better not be my part-time hero, 'cause that would waste 13 years of sidekick training.
And that? What's the deal, old lady? Hey, cut it out.
This is team.
Sashi, part-time sidekick.
Boone, part-time wise man.
And Penn Zero, part-time hero.
Okay, we begin.
Whoa, what? Now?! What is problem? Yeah, I am not a hero.
I am a kid, who found out three seconds ago that his parents are now trapped in a crazy dangerous alternate universe.
I'm just not ready for this in any way, - and frankly shocked - Penn Zero, no one is ever ready.
Good luck.
Whoa! What just happened? Where am I? Why are there three moons? Quiet.
You'll give away our position.
We are all going to die! Relax.
I've seen this 1,000 times.
The reluctant hero, forced to act before you've gained the courage to do so.
But believe me.
A hero lies within that childlike 90-pound body, and you will rise to the challenge, and save the day.
And if you can believe in yourself, there is nothing that will ever stop you! Training simulation terminated.
That was completely unacceptable! Okay, training over.
Now for reals.
What? No, I cannot do this.
I won't.
I'm not a hero.
I quit.
You should quit, too.
Mom, Dad.
I had the weirdest dream.
Good morning, good morning Get out of bed Wake up, wake up, wake up, sleepyhead Uncle Chuck, Aunt Rose? What are you doing here? Well, we're here to take care of you until your parents figure out their little situation.
By "little situation," do you mean trapped in the most dangerous world imaginable? Yeah, but I got hash browns.
You put raisins in your hash browns? Those aren't raisins.
Get outta here.
We're leaving, we're leaving You need to get it together, man.
I didn't train my whole life to have my career derailed by a weenie.
You know what? If you want it so bad, you scary little ninja, you be the hero.
You're more than qualified.
I don't wanna be the hero.
Sidekicks specialize in kicking and fighting and destroying and ripping things apart.
That actually cost hundreds of dollars.
Saved up for a year for it.
I could call the police at this point.
Look, I can only achieve my best if you're at your best, too.
Or if you die on a mission, then you're replaced by someone actually qualified.
You're demonstrating some very worrisome tendencies.
Do you have any skills? Well, I'm pretty good at # makin' up songs! # See you at school.
- Ha ha, there he is.
- Dad! You're okay.
Hey, was the smoke cool? Your mom thought it might be too much, - but it was your big moment.
- Is that Penn? Mom? That crazy theater lady said that you were in the most dangerous world imaginable.
That is a bit of an exaggeration.
Incoming! Dad! Whoa! Okay, we are in the most dangerous world imaginable.
But we're getting lots of exercise.
We would've told you, but we wanted you to have a normal childhood.
Not worrying about the balance of good and evil teetering on the brink of destruction every day, which it is.
It always is.
We know it's a lot of responsibility, but so are your pet fish.
Uh, I don't know if I can do it.
Of course you can.
We believe in you, honey.
Holy moley! Don't worry about saving the world.
Just worry about being yourself.
- But also save the world.
- Mom! Just promise me something, Penn.
- That no matter what happens - Yeah? you won't let Uncle Chuck use my toilet.
Bye.
Yah! Hey, yes.
Hello.
- Cathy.
- Is Phyllis.
Phyllis, yes.
Look, since it's my first zap, why not just take it easy on me? Maybe a beginner world.
I don't choose the world.
Right.
No, yeah, I get that.
I totally understand.
It's just, if the hero's supposed to win, wouldn't it be better if I go to a place where I won't immediately die? I know, I know.
You don't choose the world.
No, but I chose your parents, and I chose you.
All right, Phyllis, zap one.
Any words of advice? Yes.
Yes.
What was it? It was something I forget.
Anyway, good luck.
Oh, yeah! I am a pajama person.
- Wizard.
- Fine.
I am a pajama wizard.
What's the game plan? Uh, yeah, glad you asked.
The the plan falls on me.
So I will tell you that I have no idea.
Ooh! You are a brave knight.
Me or Penn? Penn? I don't know.
Boone, you're a wizard.
- And I am a - Fairy.
Winged warrior.
Our mission: using the weapon of our choice, we must defeat the evil sorcerer in an epic battle against his fire-breathing dragon and his army of a billion goblins.
Not funny.
What is it for real? Hello, students.
Oh, didn't they tell you? I'm the part-time villain.
And I'm the part-time minion.
Larry, please don't undermine me.
This is our first hero-villain encounter.
It's rather important.
I know, dummy.
That's why I made you this.
Goblins, get them.
Okay, Penn, you're a knight.
Be the knight.
Right.
Be the knight.
You can do this.
Thank you.
You didn't just run.
I'm not running.
This is a fast walk.
Maybe a mosey.
At most, a saunter.
- Use your magic.
- On it.
Oh, I knew this would be easy.
But I mean, come on.
I thought you'd have a little fight after what I did to your mummy and daddy.
- It was you? - Yeah.
Now, with no heroes to stop me, my part-time days are over.
These worlds would crumble with a real hero.
Why would they have a chance with you? Why would they have a chance with me? You know what? You're right.
Everywhere we go, you'll always know what the real hero's supposed to do.
But that's good, 'cause I'm not the real hero.
I'm a total dork.
- Okay.
What are you blathering about? - I accept.
Ha! Three kids versus an army of a billion? And me, and a dragon? And me, with s'mores? So I get to choose the weapon we battle with? - That's right.
- Then the weapon I choose is rock and roll! What? You can't.
Boone, hook it up.
On it.
You want an epic battle That's exactly what you're gonna get I'll rock the medieval countryside And never miss a fret What's my name? My name is Penn Zero What's my name? My name is Penn Zero His name is Penn Zero, he's an ordinary kid But he's gonna blow your house down And that's exactly what I did Don't rock out, attack him.
But I can't stop listening.
It's so good! It's a righteous rock battle So let the stage burn Three kids versus a billion Take the mic, it's your turn Larry, hit me! I am Rippen, and I can also rock I climb a mighty dragon And fly it to the top Well, at least wait for the second verse.
No one's waiting for the second verse We're coming for you in every universe You're a fool.
I outsmarted your parents.
Who do you think you are? My name is Penn Zero And I'm here to save the world My name is Penn Zero I'm a part-time hero I don't like to admit I was wrong about someone, so I won't.
Oh! Thank you.
I really wish I could keep these pajamas.
Oh, chain mail? Cool.
What's wrong? You forget this was flashback? Oh, you know, Penn, that chain mail shirt was in there by accident.
It was part of a Halloween costume.
Oh, okay.
Cool.
Uh, 50th zap.
Let's do this, guys.
It's not actually metal.
More of a breathable cheap plastic mesh for ladies, but you make it work.
- Go with it, buddy.
- Okay, not helping, Dad.
Trying to get in the zone here.
Your mother wore it the night of our tenth anniversary.
I won't go into the details.
Okay, just zap us already! She looked spectacular.
sync & rough corr.
by f1nc0