Relic Hunter s01e20 Episode Script

You cannot run.
You belong to me, my love.
For now, forever.
You're my eternal husband.
I could not have you, my lord.
But i shall have many men.
They will be my solace and my salvation.
- Claudia? - Uh? Are you alright? I had this really weird dream last night.
Totally freaked me out.
What was it about? Okay.
I was in the middle of a huge room, the only woman, surrounded by men with white faces, dressed in black.
- Do you know what i was seeing? - Bad al jolson movie? Vampires.
Interesting.
You know, many psychologists believe that, uh dreams are the windows into our subconscious.
Forget windows, nigel.
This was so real, i'm not even sure if it was a dream.
Well, some dreams can stay with us after we wake up.
What about hickeys? Can they stay to? They sucked the blood right out of me.
These are the bruises.
- Where were you last night, claudia? - At that rave that i told you about.
The rave! There's your answer.
Loud music, flashing lights, people in strange outfits.
You came home completely overstimulated, fell asleep and the dreams reflected the chaos in your psyche.
I did not get the hickeys at the rave, okay? I think i would have noticed that.
Well you didn't noticed you lost your dress at the last one.
That was different.
Claudia, vampires do not exist.
What did you find out about vampires on the net, claudia? Nothing yet.
You asked claudia to research vampires last night? Yes.
Female vampires are known as lamae.
And why would you want to know about such creatures? Um, eric dalt called me from brussels yesterday.
He's convinced his girlfriend is one of them, and that she's trying to kill him.
When a lamae picks her man, she drives him mad and then drains the life out of him.
It's always an artist.
She had an affair with zeus.
When his wife hera i found out, she turned her into a snake.
But hera couldn't kill her.
Zeus wouldn't allow it.
And now the descendants of the lamae live forever seducing men they finally kill with their love.
Eric's never been sick a day in his life.
He's been in the hospital for nearly a month.
You're not suggesting he's been to doctors all over europe.
No one knows what's wrong with him.
The only thing that can break the lamae's spell is the sacred sundial - that belonged to zeus himself.
- Here's a picture eric sent me.
Her name suzanne.
Notice the symbol on her pendant.
That's the symbol of the lamae.
[Phone rings, claudia gasps.]
Don't be offended if he insults you and every member of your family living or dead.
- It's just his way of saying hello.
- Sounds like a lovely person.
- Eric? - he's not there.
Who are you? I'm sydney fox.
You must be suzanne? You're the woman he called, the professor.
Yes, and this is my assistant, nigel.
You didn't have to come.
I can take care of eric.
We were just in town doing some research.
Anyway, you're too late.
Eric's disappeared.
- Disappeared? - The doctor told him he absolutely had to stay in bed.
Of course, he did just the opposite.
Sounds like eric.
It is eric.
He's a headstrong, stupid, self-centred egotist.
He shouldn't be up.
He's so sick.
He needs taking care of.
- We'll find him.
- How? I wouldn't know where in brussels to start looking.
I have an idea.
I first met eric in a bar in afghanistan.
He was researching a novel.
This was his hangout in brussels.
Eric's got women in watering holes all over the world.
Nice ambience.
That's why he liked it.
No distractions.
You always go out drinking in your night gown? Sydney.
Mother of god, you made it.
You came alone, didn't you? Suzanne didn't follow you? No, she's back at the hospital, worried sick.
I don't wonder why.
You look terrible.
I'm a dead man walking, syd.
What do you expect? - Who's the twerp? - He's my assistant, nigel.
Have you got a sister? - You remind me of a woman i once - i told him you'd be polite.
Doctors can't figure out what's killing me, but i know.
Suzanne is.
We met suzanne at the hospital.
She seemed pretty normal to me.
I know what she seems like, syd.
She knocked me on my butt when i first met her.
I thought i'd died and gone to heaven.
You say that about all the women you fall in love with.
Suzanne was different.
There was something almost, uh, hypnotic about her.
And the sex was unlike anything i've ever known.
I started writing like i was possessed.
My best stuff ever.
It was just pouring out of me.
And then you just started feeling sick? Just no strength, you know.
Like all the juices are being sucked out of me.
Maybe it was too much sex.
This is the classic pattern of the lamae spell.
The sundial is the only thing that can break it.
Suzanne belongs to this female artists group that holds retreats just outside brussels.
At first i thought it was just a bunch of new-age feminist crap.
And then i got sick and i realised what she was.
- A vampire.
- Right.
And one time i followed her out to the estate where the retreats are held.
- I saw the sundial.
- You saw the sundial? It was part of some ceremony they were conducting.
I was planning on stealing the damn thing next time, but then i got sick.
She knows that i know, syd.
I'm running out of time.
Let's get you back to the hospital, and we'll find the sundial.
- Is two pillows enough? - Enough to choke a damn horse.
- You let me know if you want more.
- Not so tight.
I feel like i'm in a mummy.
Visiting hours are over.
Yeah, i was just about to leave.
Everything is going to be fine.
Can i speak to you, outside? These are the directions to the estate.
The retreat starts at midnight.
Look for a woman named emmanuelle.
She'll lead you to the sundial.
Hurry, syd.
I know you and eric are old friends, but whatever happened nothing ever happened.
was in the past.
I don't want eric agitated or distracted from relaxing and getting well.
All i want is for eric to get well, suzanne.
Nothing else.
Thank you.
Excusez moi, monsieur.
It's, uh it's quite, um oh, there you are.
What's the matter with you? Nothing.
I'm completely, totally beautiful.
Fine, that's what i meant.
Nigel, come on.
Hello.
May i see your invitation, please? Seriously, sydney, this is a bit far-fetched.
I mean, female vampires draining the life out of people? - Well, it is a strange place, nigel.
- It's not that strange.
We'll see.
- I'm sure we will.
We always do.
- Sydney, what is this? - It's an initiation ceremony of some sort.
Let's go.
Nigel! Nigel! Nigel! You saw the sundial? Damn it, you're good, syd.
Yeah, i'm not that good.
I lost nigel.
The women took him into the house.
- Who? - Nigel, my friend you met yesterday? Oh, the twerp, yeah.
Sorry.
So the police won't be much help.
The women technically haven't done anything wrong, and we were the ones that were trespassing.
Somehow i've got to break into the house, get the sundial and nigel out of there.
Good idea.
Yeah, easier said than done.
I would have gone in last night, but without knowing the layout, and being outnumbered it's a historical estate.
So the blueprints would be on file.
Yeah.
You can access them online at the library.
One more question.
Is there an occult shop nearby? Yeah.
The black dragon is just around the corner.
But i told you to leave him alone, but you can't stay away, can you? You're obsessed! Obsessed? With eric? Don't blame sydney, eh? I do that to women.
You're having an affair with him, aren't you? I wouldn't have an affair with eric if he were the last man on earth.
I'm hurt.
- Sorry.
- You're in love with him.
I'm a friend.
That's it.
I don't believe you.
Hey! I have lots of friends.
And if anyone tried to hurt one of them, they'd wish they never met me.
They brought him in last night? Where is he? In the storage room.
But he belongs to anna.
Has she started yet? Emmanuelle won't let her have him until after the ceremony.
Back, demon! Nigel, keep it down.
It's me.
Oh, sydney.
Thank god.
What's with the cross? It's not a cross.
It's a martial arts move i saw in a movie once.
It's called the deadly candlestick x manoeuvre.
It's quite lethal, actually.
Are you alright? Yeah, i'm fine.
Good.
Here, get this robe on.
Let's find that sundial.
Find the sundial? Sydney, i've just been kidnapped and held against my will.
- You said you were all right! - Well yes, physically.
But the psychological effects of such an abduction could be devastating.
Well well "from the passion of a woman springs life eternal".
I'd like to go there it's got a nice view! - God, where are we? - I have no idea.
They're all names of women.
Give me a hand.
This is not a woman.
This is a man.
Another man.
- Suzanne.
Eric's suzanne? - It's empty.
Lamae kill their men.
Yes, i recall.
I think these men were killed by the women whose names are on the coffins.
This must be suzanne's trophy case for eric.
Sydney, let's get out of here now.
We'll call the police, have them investigate all this.
Eric's dying.
Well, he's in a hospital, being treated by professionals.
We need to find that sundial.
When you are with emmanuelle, listen with your hearts as well as your ears.
She has much to teach about the power of the feminine.
Women are the wellspring of life.
The past, the present, the future.
We give life, and we take it.
We control the cycle of birth and death.
This is our legacy and our power.
We are the alpha and the omega.
I'll pass on the facial, oil makes me break out! Who are you? Cinderella.
It's almost midnight, gotta go! I've been waiting for you for such a long time.
I've seen you before.
You have? Last night.
Oh my god.
Look! I'm not into that trip, okay? I'll bet you're not.
Package for sydney fox.
Can you sign for it? Oh, yeah, right.
Like you're a delivery person.
My day job.
At night, i'm a slayer.
I knew it.
It's a band.
The slayers? Huh? You were there last night? - You're a slayer? - Yeah.
Cool office.
Yeah.
My idea.
If you would just sign here.
This is the way to my room.
I knew you'd find it.
You did? - I should be, uh - come.
i'm not i get this i don't know why.
You must forgive me.
Have you seen sydney? I really need to speak with her - do you know why you've come to us? - It's all just a silly mistake.
I should have signed up for the retreat instead of crashing it.
How much is the weekend? You have an extraordinary power that many search for and never find.
You will make a fine teacher of women.
Pass.
I've already got a day job.
Meanwhile there's a guy in a hospital that thinks his girlfriend's killing him.
She is.
Eric dalt will be suzanne's initiation into the order.
Which order would that be? The spiritual descendants of queen lamia herself.
Call me crazy, but i don't think suzanne's the type.
She has no idea it's her power that is killing eric.
The first kill is always done in pure innocence.
After that, the killing is done consciously.
Sounds like fun.
We only kill to free our men from their bodies.
But why? That's the best part.
We take their lives, and save their souls.
And they think that's a fair trade-off? We give men joy, they've never experienced before.
And then you kill them.
Is that really necessary? Necessary, and quite pleasurable, as you'll see.
I don't think so.
I really kind of like men.
Well, most of them, anyway.
I'm definitely not into killing them.
You will be, very soon.
You are very disturbing to me.
Me? Disturbing? I'm actually a very undisturbing sort of person.
Boring.
No.
You're very exciting.
I felt your power the first time i saw you.
Really? My power? Yes, you're a very creative man.
And very sexual.
That's very kind, but we watched you and the woman, we made you come here.
Why? Because we wanted you.
Emmanuelle gave you to me, as a special treat.
A treat? What about sydney? She is being well taken care of.
A ta sante, mon amour.
- This is fantastic.
What is it? - Ambrosia.
Once made for zeus himself.
Slowly.
Slowly.
Savour the taste.
- I want it all.
- And you shall have all, my love.
- You know what i've always wanted to do? - Tell me.
- Paint.
- You have an artists soul.
I think i do.
I mentioned it to my father once, but he didn't i understand.
You don't need to struggle.
We're about to give you a precious gift.
Oh, don't do that.
I get uncomfortable when people give me things.
I do need a new clock, though.
The sundial belonged to zeus.
The shadows cast by it channel his spirit to us.
The shadows also break the spells you cast on your men, don't they? Hera was a jealous wife.
She wanted to make sure lamia would never be able to seduce her husband again.
So she turned her into a snake.
Good idea.
It's usually a turn-off to most men.
But hera couldn't kill lamia.
Prepare yourself.
For what? We haven't even been properly introduced yet.
Sydney! I hate hitting women! I was right.
You have the power.
We need you here.
Join us.
Here is history.
So are you and your sisters.
No.
We are forever.
Nothing is for ever.
"Seinfeld", perfect example.
Give me that sundial.
No.
Forever! - Are you all right? - I'm okay.
What about emmanuelle? We need to find nigel and get this thing to the hospital.
The question is, where is nigel? I think i know.
I heard a man's voice in this room.
I'm sure of it.
Nigel.
Nigel.
Are you in there? Open the door.
Nigel! Nigel, didn't you hear me? Hello, it's me, sydney.
We've got to go now no, no, no.
I've got to finish this.
It's the best work i've ever done! What's the bad stuff look like? - We've gotta leave.
- No, i can't.
I won't.
Leave him alone.
He's mine.
Uh, no, actually, he's mine i mean, in a manner of speaking.
Get out of here.
- I will, with nigel.
- Never.
Would you stop with the never? What's with you women and never? I'll be with you in just a sec.
Oh my god.
You've hurt her.
What are you doing? Saving your butt.
You'll thank me in the morning.
Eric? Eric! - I'm barely getting a pulse.
- Then we've got to get a doctor.
- A doctor can't help him now.
- He's dying! We've got to do something! Only the sundial can break the spell.
He's your man, so you have the power of life and death over him.
Now, you have to will him to live.
It's not working! You have the power, you just have to believe in it.
Believe in yourself, believe in your love for eric.
That's all that matters.
What's going on? Eric, you're alive! Sort of.
You got the sundial.
You saved my butt, syd.
Oh, i didn't do anything.
I'm not sure the sundial did, either.
- What did, then? - I'd say it was the power of love.
What the hell does that mean? I think i'll let suzanne explain that to you.
- How are you feeling? - Oh, horrible.
- Sorry about the jaw.
- No, no.
Not not that.
That woman.
Sydney, i i couldn't resist her.
I i didn't even want to.
I wanted everything.
I noticed.
It was totally exhilarating.
It was unbelievable.
Been there.
If you haven't come along, i don't know what would have happened.
Thanks, syd.
No problem.
She wasn't your type anyway, nigel.
Too old.
Positively ancient.
What happened? I thought vampires frightened you.
Actually, i find the whole thing very sexy.
Children of the night, neck biting, the undead, blood thirst.
Claudia, you got a paper cut last week, and you begged me to rush you to the emergency room.
I've decided to discover my dark side.
As opposed to your usual bright, sunny, charitable self? I just want to be open to self exploration.
I'm a very open-minded person.
Mmm-hmm.
You met a goth guy.
Mmm-hmm.
He is so hot, and i am so totally into this new scene.
I spent hundreds on the clothes, the hair, the new make-up.
Ooh.
Ancient studies? Hi, matt.
What? No way no way! I don't think so.
What's the matter? That was matt.
He had an intense religious experience this weekend.
Invited me to go to an ash can with him.
- I think he was talking about an ashram.
- It's like a hindu spiritual temple.
Well, this is so unfair.
I mean, what am i supposed to do with all this gothic junk? - Well, halloween is only - a long time from now.
So this ashram stuff, is it hip? Well, it's been hip on and off since the "60s.
Many people think it's psychedelic.
Psychedelic? I could look hot in psychedelic.
- Maybe we should watch her.
- Why? You know, these ashrams can be cultish.
She could get brainwashed.
No, you have to exchange those outfits.
I have just had, like, a very deep and meaningful spiritual experience and if you don't do the exchange, i'm going to sue the pants off you.
Oh, and i'll take one of those muumuu things, or whatever you call them, in red.
Claudia, brainwashed? They'd need a lot of soap.
Buckets full.