The Proud Family (2001) s01e20 Episode Script

Today, the few the
Proud and the talented
will be chosen to
be in what might be
William Shakespeare's
most famous tragedy.
Romeo and Juliet.
Sticky, you shall play
the part of friar Lawrence.
Michael, you shall play
the part of Balthazar.
Dijonay, you shall be the nurse.
Zoe, you shall be lady Capulet.
Gross sisters, you will be the
chorus and the stars of our play will be
Quoc in the role of Romeo
and the part of Juliet
has come down to either
Lacienega or Penny.
Oh, this is the hardest
decision I've ever had to make
because one of you will be Juliet
and the other will be the understudy
and slip silently
into obscurity.
Go ahead and tell us who
won the part, Mr. Varicola.
We're big girls.
Proud can handle disappointment.
Oh, thanks, Lacienega.
Your presumptuousness has
helped me with my decision.
My Juliet is Penny Proud.
Congratulations, everyone.
Rehearsal begins
tomorrow after school.
Excelsior!
The Proud family ♪
what? ♪
you and me will always be tight ♪
family, every
single day and night ♪
even when you
start acting like a fool ♪
you know I'm loving
every single thing you do ♪
I know that I can
always be myself ♪
I love you more
than anybody else ♪
and every day as I'm
heading off to school ♪
you know there's no
one I love as much as you ♪
family, a family ♪
Proud family ♪
they'll make you scream ♪
they'll make
you want to sing ♪
it's a family
thing, a family ♪
Proud, Proud family ♪
the Proud family ♪
they'll push your buttons ♪
and make you
want to hug them ♪
family, a family,
Proud, Proud family ♪
Oh, Diana, it is so good
to have my big sister
in town for a visit.
Other than the Broadway
stage, there is no place on earth
that I would rather be
than with you, Suga Mama
and my nieces and nephew.
What about the guy lugging
your mountain of suitcases?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Here's a tip.
Huh? A quarter?
I don't know why
you're knocking it
More than you made last week.
Now, gather 'round.
I have gifts for everyone.
Toys from Paris
for Bebe and Cece.
Diamond studs from Amsterdam
for Trudy and Suga Mama.
Ooh, these are beautiful.
Yeah, thank you, darling.
You know, I've never had any
fake diamonds look this good.
Whoo! These here are real!
Wonder if the pawn shop is open.
And a portable DVD player
for my favorite niece, Penny.
And for my brother-in-law
a book of brain
teasers from Russia.
You ought to have a
ball with that, scarecrow.
Aunt Diana!
Penny!
How's my special girl?
Trying to follow
in your footsteps.
I was cast as Juliet today
in our school production
of Romeo and Juliet.
Oh, baby, I am so Proud of you.
Thank you, Mama.
Ah, the bard.
I remember when I
first played Juliet
"Good night, good night
Parting is such sweet sorrow
that I shall say good
night till it be morrow."
Penny! You are destined to
follow in your auntie's footsteps.
Well, I hopeth that bombeth DVD player
on yon table is destineth to be mine.
Yes, o fair Juliet. It is thine.
Oh, auntie, I thanketh
thou wholeheartedly.
Oh, brothereth!
Nurse, where is my daughter?
Call her forth to me!
This ain't gone
with the wind, Zoe.
You better change
that tone in your voice.
And this isn't showtime at
the Apollo either, Dijonay
This is Shakespeare.
You must embrace the
language, you must
feel its power!
Take that attitude and pour
it over the words, Dijonay!
That's what
Shakespeare's all about!
Oh, my stars and garters!
Here is the great Diana Parker.
Oh, cast! Uh, uh, uh, cast!
Stage royalty has graced
us with her presence.
This is what you should
one day aspire to be.
This is one of Broadway's
all-time greatest actresses
Miss Diana Parker.
Thank you, young thespians.
She ain't all that.
And you, sir for the
overwhelming introduction.
- Your name?
- Randolph varicola
School drama
teacher and director.
May I ask what brings you to our
humble interpretation of the bard?
That's my aunt Diana.
She came to see me.
Penny, you've never told us
you came from the incredible
Parker acting dynasty.
She didn't she comes from
the incredible Proud snack dynasty
Mr. Puffy pants.
Who is this buffoon?
Security! Security!
Please have him
removed from the theater.
Trudy!
Hey, man, get
Hey, let me go! Ow!
Please, this
buffoon is my driver.
That's right, cherry
cola. I'm her what?
Buffoon.
No, not that.
Moose, Rocko, let
Ms. Parker's buffoon go.
Yeah, that's right,
because I was about
to go crazy on you,
"dumb and dumber."
Yeah, I'm talking to you.
Miss Parker, I would be honored
if you would direct
our next scene.
Why do you think
I'm here? Step aside.
Okay, let's run the scene
where Juliet and
Romeo secretly marry.
- Everyone, take your places
- Whoa!
Marry? My daughter
isn't marrying anyone.
Moose, Rocko, please
remove my buffoon.
Be our pleasure, miss Parker.
What have you got
to say now, little man?
Two words wait here.
Hurry up with those pins, Trudy.
I can't hold my
breath much longer!
Just a couple more
seconds, Suga Mama.
Penny is going to be so
surprised when she sees this.
Ahh choo!
Dude!
- Oscar, look what you made us do.
- Just get me down.
We're ba-ack ♪
Where've you been?
- I've been waiting to finish Penny's
- Oh, don't get upset, little sister.
After rehearsal I took
Penny to get a few things
to prepare for her
theatrical debut.
Mom, you should see the
beautiful dress aunt Dee got me.
What dress?
You know, the dress I'm
going to wear as Juliet.
But, Penny, I'm making you
That's it now.
Will somebody get me?
Everyone, this is Piérre my
personal costume designer.
Allo. Piérre has arrived
with a gown worthy of Juliet
and I don't mean potatoes.
Hey, moose look
who's pinned to the door.
It's the guy who called
us "stupid and stupider."
Hey, hey, guys, wait a minute
I can I can explain
everything. I-I'm telling you, I can.
Trudy!
Look at this, Mama!
Isn't this the most incredible
dress you've ever seen?
Thank you, Piérre.
Thank you, aunt Dee.
I promise I'm going to do my
very best to make you Proud.
You already have, my
dear, you already have.
Here dry your
tears with this rag.
Th-thank you.
I-I'm going to go try it on now.
I'll help you, darling.
Come along, Piérre.
Just a moment, madame.
I'll take those pins, monsieur.
Ouch! Ouch!
Ooh! Oh! Ow!
Trudy, why'd you let Diana
run all over you like that?
Oh, Suga Mama, she means well.
Oh, she doesn't mean
anything to anybody but herself.
She knew you were
making Penny a dress!
It's just the way Diana is.
It's the diva in her.
But I guess you got to admit
Piérre's outfit does look
much better than mine.
like a poor prisoner
in its twisted jaws
and with a silken thread,
plucks it back again
so loving jealous
of his Liberty.
I would, I would, thy bird.
Sweet, so would I.
Yet, I should kill thee
with much cherishing.
Good night, good night.
Parting is such sweet sorrow
that I shall say good
night till it be morrow.
Uh, yo, this is the part we're
supposed to kiss, Penny.
I know.
Do you think we
should rehearse it?
Well, I mean if we're going to be
convincing as Romeo and Juliet,
I think we probably should.
I think you're right.
A'ight. Do your
lead-in lines again.
Good night, good night.
Parting is such sweet sorrow
that I shall say good
night till it be morrow.
Penny! What are you doing?!
Nothing, daddy. We
were just Trudy!
Oscar, what are
you yelling about?
Your daughter and
Romeo here were kissing.
- I know.
- You know?
- And you're okay with that?
- Of course I am.
They're rehearsing
for the play, silly.
Let me tell you
something, Trudy.
The only thing a kid
rehearses a kiss for is
Oscar, stop.
You're overreacting.
It's nothing but an
innocent rehearsal.
Yes, Mr. Proud,
it was a play kiss.
We were just acting.
May I help you?
We are the Wongs.
We are Quoc's parents.
Hi, I'm Trudy, and this
is my husband Oscar.
Yeah, I'm glad you came
over, Mr. and Mrs. Wong.
Because we were just
talking about Penny and Quoc.
Yes, about how hard they've
been working on the play.
Well, that's why we're here.
We would prefer that after this play
your daughter and our son not continue
to see each other socially.
Now that's what
I'm talkin' about!
What do you mean you don't
want my daughter to see your son?
We just don't want to
encourage this friendship.
I don't understand where
this is coming from, Mr. Wong.
You have a very nice son and
we have a very nice daughter.
I just don't see anything
wrong with their friendship.
We have our reasons.
Oh, I've seen this movie before.
They think Penny isn't
good enough for their son.
I see it very clearly.
Hey, watch who
you are calling racist.
I call 'em like I see 'em.
Well, I assure you,
racism is not our reason.
Then what is the
reason, Mrs. Wong?
I'm engaged to be married.
You're 14 and you're
engaged to be married?
Engaged isn't really the
right word. More like arranged.
Arranged?
Yeah, I've been
arranged to marry Ang Lee
since before either
one of us was born.
Why would anyone arrange for their kids
to get married before they were born?
Well, I would like to arrange
my order before my kid is born,
thank you very much.
Here you go, ma'am.
It's a tradition where my
parents are from in China.
But the reason my parents are trippin'
is because Ang Lee and her family
will be in town tonight and they feel
that you and I are becoming too close.
Hold up.
Your wife is going
to be in town tonight
and you didn't even tell me?
One she's not my wife.
Two if we do get married
it will be a very
long time from now.
Look, they're just in town one day.
They'll be going back to China tomorrow
and everything will
be normal again.
Quoc, this is not
normal This is weird.
Maybe, but the way we
feel about each other isn't.
Look, what do you
say when I get off
I take you to wizards
three flavors for ice cream?
I'll buy you all
three flavors, okay?
Sorry, Quoc.
I don't date married men.
And then Romeo expects me
to act like nothing's changed?
The boy's practically married.
Ooh, this is like
Romeo must die.
Except he must wed.
Ooh, you in some
real drama, Mama.
I'm not in anything.
I could care less about
Quoc and Ang Lee.
I hope they live
happily ever after.
Penny, why are you trippin'?
- You know you like him.
- I do not. I can't stand him.
I don't care if I
ever see him again.
- Ooh, you kissed him, didn't you?
- Huh?
Yep, you did it.
No sense in denying it.
Oh, tell me all about it.
Well, we were rehearsing a
kissing scene the first time.
Ooh, you kissed
him more than once?
Ooh, I guess it's true about costars
always falling in love with each other.
I'm not in love with Quoc.
It's over now. He's
with his bride-to-be.
I got an idea.
Let's go to Quoc's house
and check out what the
other woman looks like.
Wait a minute.
Technically, you're the skeezer.
No, I'm the one
who doesn't care.
I don't want to see her.
You're lying.
No, I'm not.
And if you want to see her,
you can just go by yourself.
Dang, climbing
this hill is no joke.
Why did you have to pick a boyfriend
who lives on top of a mountain?
Quoc's not my boyfriend.
And this was your
idea, remember?
You should know better
than to listen to me by now.
Let's find a window where we
can see them but they can't see us.
I don't think we're going to find
any two-way mirrors up here.
Look, if we get on that ledge I think
we can sneak a peek on the creep.
Ooh, I just rhymed, didn't I?
Just keep moving.
Wow, she's pretty.
Come on, no way
she's as pretty as you.
Dang, home girl got that Lucy
liu-Jennifer Lopez thing going on.
She's not pretty, she's foin.
I don't care.
I don't want to get involved in
Quoc's family soap opera anyway.
His parents don't even
want us to be friends.
Judging by the way
he's whispering in her ear,
he doesn't want you
to be friends, either.
Look, I'm out, d.
Penny!
Dijonay, what's going on?
What are you doing out here?
- This is a gated community.
- Get help, it's Penny.
She saw you with your
wife and she jumped.
Penny!
Quoc!
Oh, no. Just like
Romeo and Juliet.
Penny, are you all right?
I will be if I never
see you again.
Come on, Juliet.
Your coach is about
to turn into a pumpkin.
You guys go on, I'm not coming!
Let Lacienega be Juliet.
Child must have stage fright.
Well, no niece of Diana Parker
is going to let the audience down.
I'll convince her to come.
No, Diana. You all go down
to the school, I'll talk to Penny.
Trudy, don't be silly.
Penny respects me. I'm
the one she needs to talk to.
Well, you need to respect this,
Diana. Penny is my daughter.
And if anyone needs to
talk to her, it will be me.
But I have something
I want to give her.
She can get it from
you at the theater.
Now everybody go, so I
can talk to my baby girl.
Go!
Now that's the Trudy
my son married.
Penny, skipping out on the play
is not going to make
you feel any better.
I don't want to be
in the play anymore.
Not with Quoc.
Well, the other day
all you wanted to do
was be in the play with Quoc.
Yeah, before I found
out he was married.
Oh, baby, I know you like Quoc.
A lot.
But you have to respect
his parents' wishes,
whether you agree
with them or not.
It's crazy what
they're doing to him.
To you, it's crazy.
But to Mr. and
Mrs. Wong, it's tradition.
And you've just
got to let it go.
Now, you've won the part of
Juliet because you were the best.
And if you don't show up,
you're going to let a
lot of people down
Mr. Veracola,
your aunt Diana, Quoc,
your family and friends,
and ultimately, baby, yourself.
Mama, I don't know
if I can face him.
Where is Penny?
You said she's coming.
She is, Mr. Veracola.
She's just not here, yet.
Well, I can't wait anymore.
She's out of the play.
Wait a minute, cola nut.
My little girl is Juliet and
you're not replacing her.
Moose, Rocco.
But if she's not
here, she's not here.
Smart move, skinny man.
Lacienega, get in
costume. You're Juliet.
Yes, sir, Mr. Veracola.
Unlike Proud, I
won't let you down.
Places, everyone, places.
Raise the curtain.
And gross sisters, you're on.
Break a leg.
- Whose leg?
- Oh, just go.
Two households,
both alike in dignity,
in fair verona, where
we lay our scene
from ancient grudge
breaks a new mutiny
where civil blood makes
civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal
loins of these two foes,
a pair of star-crossed
lovers take their life.
Whose misadventured
piteous overthrows
doth with their death
Bury their parents' strife.
I'm nervous.
I wish Penny were here.
Don't worry, ladies.
My performance will cover
any flaws you two might have.
The real Juliet is here now.
You're right,
Lacienega. I'm here.
Penny, you made it!
Yes, sir, I'm so sorry I'm late.
You're here,
that's what matters.
Thank you, Lacienega, you
can go back into obscurity now.
Penny, I'm so happy you came.
Unfortunately I have
to fly back to New York.
Why? What's wrong?
Well, my agents called me,
and I'm starting a new show
and the reading is tomorrow
morning. I have a gift for you.
Break a leg.
Oh, by the way,
I like the dress.
- Good choice.
- Thank you, aunt Diana.
"Your mother loves
you very much.
Listen to her.
Love, aunt Dee."
What's in a name?
That which we call a Rose
by any other word
would smell as sweet.
So Romeo would, were
he not Romeo called.
Retain that dear perfection
which he owes without that title.
Romeo, doff thy name
and for thy name
which is no part of thee.
Take all myself.
Penny, we need to talk.
Don't worry, I'm cool
about your marriage and
Just listen. Listen real good.
I take thee at thy word
call me but love, and
I'll be new baptized.
Henceforth, I never
will be her Romeo.
For real?
Yeah, we couldn't stand
each other. The marriage is off.
- Oh, I'm sorry, Quoc.
- I'm not.
Aw, me either.
All right, that's my girl.
Brave-o! Brave-o!
Brave-o!
Brave-o!
Here's to my love,
thy drugs are quick ♪
thus with a kiss, I die ♪
- who is it? ♪
- Romeo ♪
how long has he been there? ♪
For half an hour ♪
what's here? ♪
A cup closed in
my true loves hand ♪
poison ♪
I see hath been
his timeless end ♪
oh churl, drunk all ♪
and left no friendly drop ♪
to help me after ♪
I will kiss thy lips happily ♪
some poison yet
doth hang on them ♪
to make me die
with a restorative ♪
thy lips are warm ♪
lead boy, which way? ♪
Yea, noise? ♪
Then I will be brief ♪
oh, happy dagger,
this is thy sheath ♪
there rust, and let me die ♪
So, Mr. Veracola,
what do you think?
Brave-o! Brave-o!
Brave-o!
Oh, brave-o!
Brave-o!
Brave-o!