Up All Night (2011) s01e20 Episode Script
Baby Fever
Where is this wonder woman boss Yvonne? I can't wait to introduce myself.
Trophy husband.
Unfortunately, she does not come to all of her events.
- Oh.
- But it's her loss, right? If the first James Bond and the last James Bond had a baby, it would be you.
I feel like you're just saying that 'cause I said it in the car.
Did you say that in the car? - Dudes.
What an event, huh? - It is.
Yvonne sees a group of needy kids on the street, and one week later, bam.
Little pals.
Let's see someone else create something that incredible in seven days.
Whoa, see what I did just then? Create a parallel between - We did.
- Mm-hmm.
- Between God and Yvonne.
- Yep.
Wow, talk about mommy issues, right? Just You know, I signed up for the little pals to score points with Yvonne, but I find it really rewarding.
Javier's life on the street, psh.
It's tougher than anything I've ever experienced.
And I don't know if I told you, but I did two tours of duty over in "Ghanstan.
" - Got it.
- Yes, thank you.
Thank you.
You know, Ava, you really should think about being a pal.
Javier, he's gotten a lot out of the program.
- But I've gotten even more.
- You know, it's so important to have a role model as a teen.
My high school music teacher, Ms.
Grace Albanese-Shculman, changed my life.
She taught me how to sing, that I was beautiful That I was worth something.
I'm sorry.
This mess just got real.
There you go.
Sweetie.
There, there.
- Hey, Dawn.
- Hi.
Hey, congratulations on the baby.
Oh, thanks.
Wow, she's so little.
Makes Amy look ridiculous in this thing.
Like, who's carrying who, huh? So glad that you could use some of Amy's old clothes.
- Oh.
- There you go.
Some of it's barely worn.
- This is great.
- Yeah.
Just let me put her down.
Hey, Leo.
Ah, so you're sure you won't need 'em? - No, we're good, thanks.
- Oh, geez.
Oh, oh.
The snowman pajamas.
So many pics in those dogs.
Ohhh.
Aww.
Oh.
Oh, are you kidding? That's her Her little hippie Hippie flower Tankini with her with her belly used to stick out.
Her little pot belly would stick out of Holy mother, are those cute.
- Oh, they're all cute.
- Yeah, they sure are.
- Thank you.
- Of course.
You know, it's so Little baby Chloe's got that Got that baby smell still, huh? - Oh, yeah.
- Doesn't she? Leo.
Leo.
Get down from there.
Ahh.
Okay.
I'm sorry, just gonna grab that real quick.
What What are you doing? I'm just taking Amy's clothes back.
I made a huge mistake.
- I know I just - What? I thought you said you didn't need them.
You thought? You thought? I'm sorry, Dawn, but you're not the decider as to whether or not I have another child.
Why don't you start worrying about the kids you have and not the ones that I might have? Come on, Amy.
Your brother-slash-sister might need this.
Jamie, I am really excited we're doing this.
I am so anxious to help you and expose you to experiences that would otherwise be out of your reach.
Did you enjoy riding in a private vehicle where you decided when it left? My parents have a car, and so does my brother.
Yes, but probably not with leather seating.
And GPS.
You see, GPS is a satellite that follows your vehicle around - Oh, Reagan! - Oh.
This is Jamie, my little pal.
Her parents are going through a rough divorce, and her grades are in the crapper.
Oh, well, it's very nice to meet you, Jamie.
My weird Aunt has that shirt.
Really.
That's perfect, because I actually bought this in the wacky relative department.
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm gonna pee.
I'll be right here, sweetie.
I'll always be here.
And here.
Honey, your, uh, your little pal doesn't seem very needy.
That's because her walls are up.
She's hiding things.
Low self-esteem, history of abuse, the truth about why she went into the bathroom.
Oh.
Reagan, Yvonne would like to see you in the studio right away.
What? She's here now? How do I look? Do I look okay? How's my breath? I give it a "b".
It be bad.
- Oh.
- Here.
Thank you.
Javier.
He, uh, wants to meet me at the beach to talk through some stuff.
Okay, but not beach.
Can't get his face in the sun.
I just had his teardrop tattoo lasered off.
- Oh.
- If dreams are made of gold, he'd be the richest kid on earth.
Hello? Yvonne? Hello? Up here.
Oh.
Hi.
Is this because we've been over budget? No, right? God, it's about my hair, isn't it? I-I-it's not professional enough, right? Or is it too professional? Do I talk too much? Relax, Reagan.
I think you're very talented.
Oh, wow, thank you so much.
- That jacket is so bad-ass.
- Try it on.
Oh, no, I wasn't saying that because I wanted to Go on, put it on.
Oh.
Oh, my gosh.
Wow.
Right? Oh, it's like wearing a big power cloud.
- Let's have a drink.
- Okay.
Ahem.
Two fingers.
Okay, two fingers.
I want to take y.
E.
S.
Beyond just a collection of shows and unite them on one channel, under one Lifestyle brand.
Oh.
Wow.
And I think maybe you could help me with that.
Oh, my God.
I That would be amazing.
Ahem.
To the future.
To the future.
Of y.
E.
S.
Enterprises.
And the promise of new partnerships.
Ahh.
So I'm ready.
I'm really ready to just dig in.
I'm not gonna judge you, you know.
Nothing's too freaky or traumatic.
I don't like school.
How many teachers are you sleeping with? No judgment.
All right.
Tell me about your parents.
The divorce is Annoying.
A suicide-inducing hellscape of pain? Before long, Jamie, with my influence, you'll be over that pain and making life-changing goals.
I wanna get my boobs done and go to Costa Rica.
Jamie.
Jamie.
Jamie.
Listen to me.
Ladygirl.
Life is a wild ride.
Your body's changin'.
Your hormones are ragin'.
You want to keep up with the fast posse.
But, ladygirl, your horse done come up lame.
Wait.
Ladygirl.
Dude, I gotta go.
I gotta talk to my wife about having a second baby.
You're lame, dude.
How's virginity treating you, skullslayer71? 'Ello, dahling.
Hey, wow.
Somebody had some fun with her fancy Brit boss and stole a coat too.
She gave it to me.
It's fabulous, isn't it? So anyway, I had so much fun, honey.
She she took me to this bar.
And the bartender guy was this, like, "mixologist", and he was, like, grinding stuff up with a-a freakin', uh, pestle.
It's I mean, it was just so annoying, but, like, it didn't even piss me off at all.
God, my tongue feels really weird right now.
I'm gonna mixologist you a drink.
Okay.
Um Great.
Babe, I was I was thinking that You you know what? Let's Let's have another baby.
No, I know.
Okay, let's have six more.
And then we can be like the Brady bunch after they added cousin Oliver, which you know what? He did not add much.
It's like a swing and a miss, the Brady Bunch.
I was at the park today, and I almost gave away Amy's snowman pajamas.
Oh, my God, remember when she crapped up the back of those things? Yup.
I need bitters, and I need, like Do we have those orange, uh, sugary rindses things? Because then I'm gonna get the pestle out.
Reagan, seriously.
I have baby fever.
Oh, honey.
You do? Yeah.
Probably because we have a baby.
You must have caught it from her.
Titty twister.
Good one, Reagan.
High-five.
Let's go.
You shouldn't high-five yourself.
Where is the bathroom? Oh no.
Is it because you're pregnant? Withdrawal from heroin? Are you toileting a fix? No.
I need to pee.
Javier.
How's it feel having a real tear on your face? Hey, look.
Uh, check it out, man.
All "a"s.
We did it.
Huh? - I love you, man.
- I love you, dude.
Get over here.
Get a room.
She comes home late wearing this crazy coat, and then she rushes out first thing this morning.
She won't even talk about having another baby.
Did you remind her of that smell? - Oh, the baby smell? - Yeah.
Tiny socks, did you mention the tiny socks? Oh, man, those tiny socks.
Whoa! - Come on, man! - That's an elbow! - That's an elbow! - Wake up, ref! - You're the worst ref! - Worst! And the baby swaddles, dude? Oh, it's like a tiny burrito.
Yeah, Reagan's career is really taking off.
I'm worried that we're gonna miss our chance.
I gotta get her on board now, or it's gone.
Just argue your case to Reagan.
You'll convince her.
Tiny socks, bro.
Yeah.
Yeah, tiny socks.
It's a whole other Yvonne.
No, Luke, it's just me in Yvonne's jacket.
And that scent you picked up on? That is the sweet smell of success.
That jacket doesn't fit you.
And I mean that figuratively.
I think it looks great.
You wish you were wearing it.
Yvonne gave me this watch.
It's engraved.
Know what it says? "Luke, your time is now.
" May 2010.
Seems like your time has passed.
Jacket looks dumb.
Washes you out.
The color washes you out.
- It's over.
- Hmm? I'm breaking up with Jamie.
She doesn't need me.
I had this dream of saving a damaged kid.
There's been no breakthroughs.
All she does is drink lattes and complain.
I'm sorry, honey.
Well, you're not the only one having little sister issues.
Chris wants one for Amy.
He wants you to have another baby? Too soon.
I'm just now fitting into my pre-baby jeans, and, like, for reals, too.
Not just looking good when you're standing up, and then you sit down, and it looks like a sloppy skin party.
I know.
- Hi.
- Hi.
What are you doing here? Well, I just decided to come in and make my opening arguments for Chris Brinkley, Baby Maker v.
Reagan Brinkley, Baby Grower, so Is the jury hung? I'm sorry.
That just popped out.
What? Okay.
Aw! Look at that.
- She's looking for someone.
- Aww! Is it him? She's looking for someone.
Is it him? Look ah! He's looking, too.
Oh! Oh, look it, now she's looking.
Look, she's in love.
And just watch that.
Hi.
Are you my brother? - He ain't heavy - get in there.
He's my brother okay.
That was Beautiful.
I'm ready, Reagan.
I'm ready to have another baby.
Thank you.
First of all, you don't get a say.
Second of all, you're crazy.
Crazy for wanting Amy to have a brother? And by the way, you're teaching Amy not to have dreams.
Yeah.
What would Dr.
King say? Ooh, look at this.
Look who wants to talk to me.
Yvonne.
It's so weird.
I didn't hear your phone ring.
Hi, Yvonne, what can I do for you that no one else can? - Okay.
- Uh-huh.
Consider it done.
Wow.
She would like to meet you in her limo.
Right now? Which, as we say in 101st airborne, is a bit of a ball-knocker.
Oh, my goodness.
Okay, she's taking me out.
I have to - Uh, wish me luck.
- Good luck.
Okay, honey, we'll Mm.
We'll talk later.
Mwah.
Love you.
You know what you should do? Just poke a hole in the condom.
I learned that one from my little pal.
Oh, no, I didn't.
'Cause she sucks.
You were gone a long time.
Yeah.
We went shoe shopping.
And we discussed the future of the y.
E.
S.
Network.
Then we went and worked out and showered in adjacent stalls.
She air dries.
It's a comfort level.
Hmm.
Well, we slept beside each other on a first-class flight.
We shared a warm chocolate chip cookie.
Hey.
Are you Are you skyping with her? Mm-hmm.
I didn't know she scheduled that.
Uh, she didn't.
I did.
She told me that I should Skype her whenever I have a brilliant idea, and I just had a flurry of them.
Do you feel the shift happening here, Luke? It's sort of a tectonic thing.
So hold on tight.
Oh.
Yvonne.
First of all, I just want to say how wonderful it was Yeah, what's up, Reagan? Uh uh, yes.
I-I, uh, I called you because I just wanted to run by some programming ideas.
Programming ideas? Why don't we start with the two-year process of getting financing first? Luke.
Luke, are you there? - Hi, there.
- What's your take? Uh, it all starts with the financing.
It's all about the financing.
I agree.
I agree that financing really is the cornerstone.
Is that my jacket? What? Never mind.
I'll get it later.
You guys talk financing.
Let's reconvene at 5:00.
Thank you so much for Okay.
All right.
Quick call, huh? According to my watch.
Oh, shut up.
We need to talk.
I hate to do this to you while your plate is so full of problems like your mom not letting you read The Hunger Games.
It's so annoying.
I just want to die.
Oh, no.
There's Kylie Statham with her hobags.
Where are the bras, ladies? Ooh, young boobies.
We're all so impressed.
Bet they're super-popular, huh? Yeah.
I'm kind of an outsider.
- I was too.
- You were? Yeah.
High school was really difficult for me.
Especially because of girls just like them.
Oh, look, everyone.
Shrek is here.
What are you doing? Just being a big sister.
Hey! You owe Jamie an apology.
For what? Not giving her a makeover? Girls, your lives are peaking right now, but let me assure you, it's all downhill from here.
Let's travel into the future.
Your boobs? Down to the floor.
Divorced.
Failed interior design business.
Cheating husband.
Meth teeth.
Tragic weight gain.
Getting wasted with your kids.
Botched facelift.
Restraining order.
Internet affair.
Singles cruise.
Gay husband.
Pill problem.
Pill problem.
Pill problem.
Mystery s.
T.
D.
You're just jealous? Exactly.
No, I mean you, Ava.
You're just jealous of how cool Kylie, Dallas, Sienna, and Brielle are.
What? You're so right, Jamie.
She's totally jealous.
We're gonna send mean texts to bitches.
You in? Sure.
Ladygirl? I did not give a handy to Jaden in the bathroom! God.
Cornerstone.
Jacket.
Put it on.
Put on my jacket.
Oh, sh She's messing with your head, Reagan.
She helps you up the Mountain.
She pushes you off.
She's testing you.
It's how she motivates you.
Oh, that is twisted.
She's given and taken away this watch four times.
And you want to know the most twisted thing? I knew she was messing with you just to mess with me, and I still let it get to me.
She wouldn't mess with our heads if she didn't think we were special.
Thank you.
Could you just give me a little moment? I just need to be alone for a second.
Sure thing.
You need those floor stuff? Yeah.
What? Oh.
Very subtle, Chris.
Oh, my.
Little John-John.
Oh, that is a low blow.
What are you doing? It's time, Reagan.
We're having another baby.
Case closed.
I'm not doing this, Chris.
Seriously.
God, this is so not fair.
Just try to resist me, Reagan.
As a sexual being and as a sexual lawyer, it's impossible, okay? So this is happening.
I still got some suds in there.
We'll just pop in.
I can wash your hair all sexy.
Oh, honey, seriously? That's no one's fantasy.
And what's with the fedora? Oh, I'm sorry.
Is looking exactly like Frank Sinatra not sexy anymore? It's, like, so rat pack.
Chris, I can't deal with this right now.
There's so much stuff going on at work with Yvonne and things that I Yvonne! That's the name I was trying to think of.
I haven't heard it for five seconds.
Let me guess you're having a baby with Yvonne, and you're naming it work.
'Cause that's what you love.
Little baby work.
Enough! Ehh.
I can't stand to listen to this any longer.
I have had a rough couple of hours.
Totally flamed out with Jamie, and I have been the victim of teenage bullying.
Uh! I am not a slut.
I'm a good girl.
Listen.
I couldn't help but overhear your argument.
Well, you could've if you hadn't broken into our house.
Christopher, it seems like you're feeling that Reagan is choosing work over you.
Yeah, that's right.
That's exactly what I'm feeling.
Okay, Chris, that's ridiculous.
She's right.
Your insecurity belies your Michael Phelpsian upper body.
Ava, that's absurd.
Maybe the shoulders look kind of similar.
Listen, you guys can worry about when to have another baby or if, but, Chris, never doubt that you and Amy always come first for her.
Please don't push it because you're feeling threatened.
Your lives are so good right now.
Just slow down and enjoy what you have.
Yeah, that's You're right.
Thank you, Ava.
That was very helpful.
It was, wasn't it? - I love you, honey.
- I love you too, babe.
Look what I just did.
I just made that magic happen.
I'm like a big sister to you guys, huh? Ladygirl, life is a wild ride.
Your body is changin'.
Can't you see this is going somewhere? - Yeah.
- So you need to go home.
- Get out of here.
- Got it.
You can go into the garage or something.
We're so lucky.
Look it.
Our lives are too perfect.
Why would we want to mess with that now? Mm.
- You know what? - Hmm? When the time's right, we'll know it.
- Yeah.
- Okay? And then I'll make my move, and you will receive my gift.
Your gift? You really don't want to have a second baby right now, do you? I'm sorry, ****.
Yeah, **** just **** themselves.
Yeah, you cannot resist me.
Oh babe, no don't.
Are you okay? - Oh, no! - Look what I've found.
Oh, no!
Trophy husband.
Unfortunately, she does not come to all of her events.
- Oh.
- But it's her loss, right? If the first James Bond and the last James Bond had a baby, it would be you.
I feel like you're just saying that 'cause I said it in the car.
Did you say that in the car? - Dudes.
What an event, huh? - It is.
Yvonne sees a group of needy kids on the street, and one week later, bam.
Little pals.
Let's see someone else create something that incredible in seven days.
Whoa, see what I did just then? Create a parallel between - We did.
- Mm-hmm.
- Between God and Yvonne.
- Yep.
Wow, talk about mommy issues, right? Just You know, I signed up for the little pals to score points with Yvonne, but I find it really rewarding.
Javier's life on the street, psh.
It's tougher than anything I've ever experienced.
And I don't know if I told you, but I did two tours of duty over in "Ghanstan.
" - Got it.
- Yes, thank you.
Thank you.
You know, Ava, you really should think about being a pal.
Javier, he's gotten a lot out of the program.
- But I've gotten even more.
- You know, it's so important to have a role model as a teen.
My high school music teacher, Ms.
Grace Albanese-Shculman, changed my life.
She taught me how to sing, that I was beautiful That I was worth something.
I'm sorry.
This mess just got real.
There you go.
Sweetie.
There, there.
- Hey, Dawn.
- Hi.
Hey, congratulations on the baby.
Oh, thanks.
Wow, she's so little.
Makes Amy look ridiculous in this thing.
Like, who's carrying who, huh? So glad that you could use some of Amy's old clothes.
- Oh.
- There you go.
Some of it's barely worn.
- This is great.
- Yeah.
Just let me put her down.
Hey, Leo.
Ah, so you're sure you won't need 'em? - No, we're good, thanks.
- Oh, geez.
Oh, oh.
The snowman pajamas.
So many pics in those dogs.
Ohhh.
Aww.
Oh.
Oh, are you kidding? That's her Her little hippie Hippie flower Tankini with her with her belly used to stick out.
Her little pot belly would stick out of Holy mother, are those cute.
- Oh, they're all cute.
- Yeah, they sure are.
- Thank you.
- Of course.
You know, it's so Little baby Chloe's got that Got that baby smell still, huh? - Oh, yeah.
- Doesn't she? Leo.
Leo.
Get down from there.
Ahh.
Okay.
I'm sorry, just gonna grab that real quick.
What What are you doing? I'm just taking Amy's clothes back.
I made a huge mistake.
- I know I just - What? I thought you said you didn't need them.
You thought? You thought? I'm sorry, Dawn, but you're not the decider as to whether or not I have another child.
Why don't you start worrying about the kids you have and not the ones that I might have? Come on, Amy.
Your brother-slash-sister might need this.
Jamie, I am really excited we're doing this.
I am so anxious to help you and expose you to experiences that would otherwise be out of your reach.
Did you enjoy riding in a private vehicle where you decided when it left? My parents have a car, and so does my brother.
Yes, but probably not with leather seating.
And GPS.
You see, GPS is a satellite that follows your vehicle around - Oh, Reagan! - Oh.
This is Jamie, my little pal.
Her parents are going through a rough divorce, and her grades are in the crapper.
Oh, well, it's very nice to meet you, Jamie.
My weird Aunt has that shirt.
Really.
That's perfect, because I actually bought this in the wacky relative department.
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm gonna pee.
I'll be right here, sweetie.
I'll always be here.
And here.
Honey, your, uh, your little pal doesn't seem very needy.
That's because her walls are up.
She's hiding things.
Low self-esteem, history of abuse, the truth about why she went into the bathroom.
Oh.
Reagan, Yvonne would like to see you in the studio right away.
What? She's here now? How do I look? Do I look okay? How's my breath? I give it a "b".
It be bad.
- Oh.
- Here.
Thank you.
Javier.
He, uh, wants to meet me at the beach to talk through some stuff.
Okay, but not beach.
Can't get his face in the sun.
I just had his teardrop tattoo lasered off.
- Oh.
- If dreams are made of gold, he'd be the richest kid on earth.
Hello? Yvonne? Hello? Up here.
Oh.
Hi.
Is this because we've been over budget? No, right? God, it's about my hair, isn't it? I-I-it's not professional enough, right? Or is it too professional? Do I talk too much? Relax, Reagan.
I think you're very talented.
Oh, wow, thank you so much.
- That jacket is so bad-ass.
- Try it on.
Oh, no, I wasn't saying that because I wanted to Go on, put it on.
Oh.
Oh, my gosh.
Wow.
Right? Oh, it's like wearing a big power cloud.
- Let's have a drink.
- Okay.
Ahem.
Two fingers.
Okay, two fingers.
I want to take y.
E.
S.
Beyond just a collection of shows and unite them on one channel, under one Lifestyle brand.
Oh.
Wow.
And I think maybe you could help me with that.
Oh, my God.
I That would be amazing.
Ahem.
To the future.
To the future.
Of y.
E.
S.
Enterprises.
And the promise of new partnerships.
Ahh.
So I'm ready.
I'm really ready to just dig in.
I'm not gonna judge you, you know.
Nothing's too freaky or traumatic.
I don't like school.
How many teachers are you sleeping with? No judgment.
All right.
Tell me about your parents.
The divorce is Annoying.
A suicide-inducing hellscape of pain? Before long, Jamie, with my influence, you'll be over that pain and making life-changing goals.
I wanna get my boobs done and go to Costa Rica.
Jamie.
Jamie.
Jamie.
Listen to me.
Ladygirl.
Life is a wild ride.
Your body's changin'.
Your hormones are ragin'.
You want to keep up with the fast posse.
But, ladygirl, your horse done come up lame.
Wait.
Ladygirl.
Dude, I gotta go.
I gotta talk to my wife about having a second baby.
You're lame, dude.
How's virginity treating you, skullslayer71? 'Ello, dahling.
Hey, wow.
Somebody had some fun with her fancy Brit boss and stole a coat too.
She gave it to me.
It's fabulous, isn't it? So anyway, I had so much fun, honey.
She she took me to this bar.
And the bartender guy was this, like, "mixologist", and he was, like, grinding stuff up with a-a freakin', uh, pestle.
It's I mean, it was just so annoying, but, like, it didn't even piss me off at all.
God, my tongue feels really weird right now.
I'm gonna mixologist you a drink.
Okay.
Um Great.
Babe, I was I was thinking that You you know what? Let's Let's have another baby.
No, I know.
Okay, let's have six more.
And then we can be like the Brady bunch after they added cousin Oliver, which you know what? He did not add much.
It's like a swing and a miss, the Brady Bunch.
I was at the park today, and I almost gave away Amy's snowman pajamas.
Oh, my God, remember when she crapped up the back of those things? Yup.
I need bitters, and I need, like Do we have those orange, uh, sugary rindses things? Because then I'm gonna get the pestle out.
Reagan, seriously.
I have baby fever.
Oh, honey.
You do? Yeah.
Probably because we have a baby.
You must have caught it from her.
Titty twister.
Good one, Reagan.
High-five.
Let's go.
You shouldn't high-five yourself.
Where is the bathroom? Oh no.
Is it because you're pregnant? Withdrawal from heroin? Are you toileting a fix? No.
I need to pee.
Javier.
How's it feel having a real tear on your face? Hey, look.
Uh, check it out, man.
All "a"s.
We did it.
Huh? - I love you, man.
- I love you, dude.
Get over here.
Get a room.
She comes home late wearing this crazy coat, and then she rushes out first thing this morning.
She won't even talk about having another baby.
Did you remind her of that smell? - Oh, the baby smell? - Yeah.
Tiny socks, did you mention the tiny socks? Oh, man, those tiny socks.
Whoa! - Come on, man! - That's an elbow! - That's an elbow! - Wake up, ref! - You're the worst ref! - Worst! And the baby swaddles, dude? Oh, it's like a tiny burrito.
Yeah, Reagan's career is really taking off.
I'm worried that we're gonna miss our chance.
I gotta get her on board now, or it's gone.
Just argue your case to Reagan.
You'll convince her.
Tiny socks, bro.
Yeah.
Yeah, tiny socks.
It's a whole other Yvonne.
No, Luke, it's just me in Yvonne's jacket.
And that scent you picked up on? That is the sweet smell of success.
That jacket doesn't fit you.
And I mean that figuratively.
I think it looks great.
You wish you were wearing it.
Yvonne gave me this watch.
It's engraved.
Know what it says? "Luke, your time is now.
" May 2010.
Seems like your time has passed.
Jacket looks dumb.
Washes you out.
The color washes you out.
- It's over.
- Hmm? I'm breaking up with Jamie.
She doesn't need me.
I had this dream of saving a damaged kid.
There's been no breakthroughs.
All she does is drink lattes and complain.
I'm sorry, honey.
Well, you're not the only one having little sister issues.
Chris wants one for Amy.
He wants you to have another baby? Too soon.
I'm just now fitting into my pre-baby jeans, and, like, for reals, too.
Not just looking good when you're standing up, and then you sit down, and it looks like a sloppy skin party.
I know.
- Hi.
- Hi.
What are you doing here? Well, I just decided to come in and make my opening arguments for Chris Brinkley, Baby Maker v.
Reagan Brinkley, Baby Grower, so Is the jury hung? I'm sorry.
That just popped out.
What? Okay.
Aw! Look at that.
- She's looking for someone.
- Aww! Is it him? She's looking for someone.
Is it him? Look ah! He's looking, too.
Oh! Oh, look it, now she's looking.
Look, she's in love.
And just watch that.
Hi.
Are you my brother? - He ain't heavy - get in there.
He's my brother okay.
That was Beautiful.
I'm ready, Reagan.
I'm ready to have another baby.
Thank you.
First of all, you don't get a say.
Second of all, you're crazy.
Crazy for wanting Amy to have a brother? And by the way, you're teaching Amy not to have dreams.
Yeah.
What would Dr.
King say? Ooh, look at this.
Look who wants to talk to me.
Yvonne.
It's so weird.
I didn't hear your phone ring.
Hi, Yvonne, what can I do for you that no one else can? - Okay.
- Uh-huh.
Consider it done.
Wow.
She would like to meet you in her limo.
Right now? Which, as we say in 101st airborne, is a bit of a ball-knocker.
Oh, my goodness.
Okay, she's taking me out.
I have to - Uh, wish me luck.
- Good luck.
Okay, honey, we'll Mm.
We'll talk later.
Mwah.
Love you.
You know what you should do? Just poke a hole in the condom.
I learned that one from my little pal.
Oh, no, I didn't.
'Cause she sucks.
You were gone a long time.
Yeah.
We went shoe shopping.
And we discussed the future of the y.
E.
S.
Network.
Then we went and worked out and showered in adjacent stalls.
She air dries.
It's a comfort level.
Hmm.
Well, we slept beside each other on a first-class flight.
We shared a warm chocolate chip cookie.
Hey.
Are you Are you skyping with her? Mm-hmm.
I didn't know she scheduled that.
Uh, she didn't.
I did.
She told me that I should Skype her whenever I have a brilliant idea, and I just had a flurry of them.
Do you feel the shift happening here, Luke? It's sort of a tectonic thing.
So hold on tight.
Oh.
Yvonne.
First of all, I just want to say how wonderful it was Yeah, what's up, Reagan? Uh uh, yes.
I-I, uh, I called you because I just wanted to run by some programming ideas.
Programming ideas? Why don't we start with the two-year process of getting financing first? Luke.
Luke, are you there? - Hi, there.
- What's your take? Uh, it all starts with the financing.
It's all about the financing.
I agree.
I agree that financing really is the cornerstone.
Is that my jacket? What? Never mind.
I'll get it later.
You guys talk financing.
Let's reconvene at 5:00.
Thank you so much for Okay.
All right.
Quick call, huh? According to my watch.
Oh, shut up.
We need to talk.
I hate to do this to you while your plate is so full of problems like your mom not letting you read The Hunger Games.
It's so annoying.
I just want to die.
Oh, no.
There's Kylie Statham with her hobags.
Where are the bras, ladies? Ooh, young boobies.
We're all so impressed.
Bet they're super-popular, huh? Yeah.
I'm kind of an outsider.
- I was too.
- You were? Yeah.
High school was really difficult for me.
Especially because of girls just like them.
Oh, look, everyone.
Shrek is here.
What are you doing? Just being a big sister.
Hey! You owe Jamie an apology.
For what? Not giving her a makeover? Girls, your lives are peaking right now, but let me assure you, it's all downhill from here.
Let's travel into the future.
Your boobs? Down to the floor.
Divorced.
Failed interior design business.
Cheating husband.
Meth teeth.
Tragic weight gain.
Getting wasted with your kids.
Botched facelift.
Restraining order.
Internet affair.
Singles cruise.
Gay husband.
Pill problem.
Pill problem.
Pill problem.
Mystery s.
T.
D.
You're just jealous? Exactly.
No, I mean you, Ava.
You're just jealous of how cool Kylie, Dallas, Sienna, and Brielle are.
What? You're so right, Jamie.
She's totally jealous.
We're gonna send mean texts to bitches.
You in? Sure.
Ladygirl? I did not give a handy to Jaden in the bathroom! God.
Cornerstone.
Jacket.
Put it on.
Put on my jacket.
Oh, sh She's messing with your head, Reagan.
She helps you up the Mountain.
She pushes you off.
She's testing you.
It's how she motivates you.
Oh, that is twisted.
She's given and taken away this watch four times.
And you want to know the most twisted thing? I knew she was messing with you just to mess with me, and I still let it get to me.
She wouldn't mess with our heads if she didn't think we were special.
Thank you.
Could you just give me a little moment? I just need to be alone for a second.
Sure thing.
You need those floor stuff? Yeah.
What? Oh.
Very subtle, Chris.
Oh, my.
Little John-John.
Oh, that is a low blow.
What are you doing? It's time, Reagan.
We're having another baby.
Case closed.
I'm not doing this, Chris.
Seriously.
God, this is so not fair.
Just try to resist me, Reagan.
As a sexual being and as a sexual lawyer, it's impossible, okay? So this is happening.
I still got some suds in there.
We'll just pop in.
I can wash your hair all sexy.
Oh, honey, seriously? That's no one's fantasy.
And what's with the fedora? Oh, I'm sorry.
Is looking exactly like Frank Sinatra not sexy anymore? It's, like, so rat pack.
Chris, I can't deal with this right now.
There's so much stuff going on at work with Yvonne and things that I Yvonne! That's the name I was trying to think of.
I haven't heard it for five seconds.
Let me guess you're having a baby with Yvonne, and you're naming it work.
'Cause that's what you love.
Little baby work.
Enough! Ehh.
I can't stand to listen to this any longer.
I have had a rough couple of hours.
Totally flamed out with Jamie, and I have been the victim of teenage bullying.
Uh! I am not a slut.
I'm a good girl.
Listen.
I couldn't help but overhear your argument.
Well, you could've if you hadn't broken into our house.
Christopher, it seems like you're feeling that Reagan is choosing work over you.
Yeah, that's right.
That's exactly what I'm feeling.
Okay, Chris, that's ridiculous.
She's right.
Your insecurity belies your Michael Phelpsian upper body.
Ava, that's absurd.
Maybe the shoulders look kind of similar.
Listen, you guys can worry about when to have another baby or if, but, Chris, never doubt that you and Amy always come first for her.
Please don't push it because you're feeling threatened.
Your lives are so good right now.
Just slow down and enjoy what you have.
Yeah, that's You're right.
Thank you, Ava.
That was very helpful.
It was, wasn't it? - I love you, honey.
- I love you too, babe.
Look what I just did.
I just made that magic happen.
I'm like a big sister to you guys, huh? Ladygirl, life is a wild ride.
Your body is changin'.
Can't you see this is going somewhere? - Yeah.
- So you need to go home.
- Get out of here.
- Got it.
You can go into the garage or something.
We're so lucky.
Look it.
Our lives are too perfect.
Why would we want to mess with that now? Mm.
- You know what? - Hmm? When the time's right, we'll know it.
- Yeah.
- Okay? And then I'll make my move, and you will receive my gift.
Your gift? You really don't want to have a second baby right now, do you? I'm sorry, ****.
Yeah, **** just **** themselves.
Yeah, you cannot resist me.
Oh babe, no don't.
Are you okay? - Oh, no! - Look what I've found.
Oh, no!