Veronica Mars s01e20 Episode Script

M.A.D.

- Previously on Veronica Mars: - You think I killed Lilly.
- Calm down.
- You think I'll have another episode and kill you too? - You haven't seen Duncan tonight? He's missing.
His parents think he may have run away.
You didn't want them dating either.
I probably wish Mom would've found a guy who wasn't my best friend's dad.
I know Lilly loved you.
Just not like I loved her.
I don't have to feel guilty anymore.
Feel guilty about what? - What are we doing? - No idea.
- Yeah! - Come on! Hey, what's the holdup? Later.
Someone's got her eye on that Miss White Trash title.
Solid effort, but I'd like to see that car up on some cinder blocks.
Guys, come on.
I know.
Guys, come on.
The talent is making a grilled cheese sandwich on the engine block.
Guys, come on.
You can't put your car up on blocks in the yard if you don't have a yard.
You know, I think I can do both sides of this little act now.
So how about next time, you don't bother.
I got it covered.
- Hey, what's up, what's up? - Hey.
So that's it? I mean, just like that, you flush a two-year relationship down the toilet? No, Tad, it's We've been going out since I was a freshman.
- I feel like - What did I do wrong? Nothing.
It's just you're graduating in a month, and - And what? What, you don't trust me? What, with college and all that? Tad, I just can't imagine doing the whole long-distance thing.
But it's only for a year.
No, it's four years of the Academy, and then four years of the Navy.
And then I don't know.
Look Look, just listen to this, please.
I don't want another mix.
It's something I wrote for you on my guitar.
Look, a song isn't gonna make it better, Tad.
It's over.
Before you go, there's something you should see.
You're not gonna change my mind.
I don't even remember doing it.
I must have been wasted.
I would never do something like that.
It's totally disgusting.
You mean, you two having sex? Worse.
I'm skinny-dipping in some hot tub and I have this Popsicle, and I - Do you think he's serious? - I don't know.
When I said I wanted to break up, he was But I can't take the chance.
I need you to get me that phone, Veronica.
You can do that, can't you? Oh, yeah.
Bank on it.
What? I blockaded the door.
- I hung an "out of order" sign.
- No, this is wrong.
I mean, a boy in a girls' bathroom.
It's just - So wrong it's right? - Yes.
- I'm sorry about Dick and those guys.
- Dick and those guys don't bother me.
Besides, we have to keep up appearances because Duncan is gonna come home someday and I don't want him to hear about us, this, from someone else.
I am beyond tardy for my physics class.
And if I remember right, time travel is not yet possible.
So try petty corruption.
Tardy excuse slips.
Date-stamped.
Untraceable.
I know people.
It's clear.
Good luck in physics.
Remember force equals mass times acceleration.
Light is a particle that can exhibit properties of a wave.
I could learn more staying here with you.
I have things to do.
Like cool down.
I made a promise to Carmen.
Thank God for disposable cell phones.
No offense, but you look odd.
I watched our parents cuddle on the couch last night.
My eyes, they burn.
Any idea what our parents do Mondays and Wednesdays that requires an overnight bag? As far as I'm concerned, they play bingo at the VFW.
That's my story.
I'm sticking with it.
To deal with things like this, pretend they don't exist.
- Mind calling this number in sixth period? - Sure.
All right.
- They don't exist? - Deal.
Hey, you mind helping me with a bump-and-bait here? So I was all, "No way," and he was like, "Yeah, way" - I'm so sorry.
- Watch what you're doing.
Okely-dokely.
He did not say that.
Excuse me.
What do you think you're doing? Okay, ciao.
This is, like, study hall, right? I was excused from gym class for personal reasons.
- Are you not familiar with the school's cell phone policy? All right, all right.
Take a pill.
You can pick this up after school.
We call it "symbiosis.
" That literally means "living together.
" Tad, I believe your bag is ringing.
- What? Give me a break.
It's not even on.
- I know you know the policy, Mr.
Wilson.
You just saw a demonstration.
I'm an equal-opportunity confiscator.
Ms.
Dunn, I volunteered to separate the recycling from the cafeteria trash this afternoon.
Can I be excused from class early? Hi.
I'm here to get my phone back.
Consider this a warning.
Next time, I'm keeping it.
You'll have to gossip with two cans and string.
I'm not sure what that means, but I'm totally warned, I swear.
Yep.
Wait, this isn't mine.
Veronica Mars.
Hey, honey, how's school? You know, mean kids, indifferent teachers, crumbling infrastructure.
- So why are you smiling? - Because I'm savoring the irony.
Imagine the Mars family sending our heir, Veronica to an Ivy League college with money from the bounty on the Kane heir.
"For information on the whereabouts of Duncan Kane " Fifty grand? - Not bad.
- Money for nothing.
That's your first two years, right there.
Might not be as easy as you think.
Come on, honey, Duncan Kane? A sheltered rich kid who has maids fold his underwear? I think I'll be able to track him down.
I'm only worried about beating the other pros.
Yeah, he's a big fish in a very small barrel.
- What is it? - You know that entertainment lawyer you've been looking for all year? - Yeah? - Well, I was telling Meg about how hard the guy's been to find, and the tricks you use if you wanna disappear, and Duncan was sitting right there, listening.
But looking on the bright side all those other professionals probably won't find him first.
- What did you tell him? - Use cash.
Don't use a credit card.
Don't use your own car.
The basics.
I might have mentioned something about recycling passports on eBay.
But come on, Dad, with your expertise and my can-do spirit, we can do it.
Family project.
I have a friend who can play the eBay angle, might be able Hello, Mr.
Mars.
Hey, Veronica.
How's school? Hi, Miss Fennel.
It's fine.
We'll be back around 8 or so.
- Where are you going? - Out.
Why don't you get started on that passport thing.
- So did it work? - Success.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
You didn't watch it, did you? You saved my life, Veronica.
Look, Carmen, just because we got the phone doesn't mean the video's dead.
You gotta know it's impossible to destroy a digital file with any kind of certainty.
Tad isn't really a think-ahead kind of guy.
That felt good.
Justice is served.
Instant message from Top Gun.
That's Tad.
Oh, my God.
So the thing is figuring out if any passports were sold on any of these auction sites and shipped anywhere near Neptune.
Man, Veronica.
Have you ever asked for help with anything normal? What fun would that be? - All right, well, I'll get back to you.
- Thanks a zillion, Mac.
So Carmen's back with Tad.
It's either that, or he sends the video to the whole school.
That's a shame.
Neighborhood girl like that, wasting her assets on a white boy.
Isn't that that chick you had a crush on in eighth grade? Too bad you ain't rich and white, because, damn, did she grow up nice.
"Get Marooned.
" Great.
Another island-centric prom theme.
Another year of double-digit-IQ'd jocks laughing at their jokes about getting laid as freshman hula girls put flowers around their necks.
Nobody's forcing you to buy tickets, queer bait.
I'm sorry, am I giving away your best material? Isn't the gay prom next Friday in the dog-beach men's room? So I guess I'll see you there, sailor.
- What'd you just say to me, Boy George? - Come on, the Navy? "Cover my back, wingman.
The rear admiral wants us to pound away with the 10-inch gun.
" Isn't just joining the Navy alone gay enough to get you thrown out of the Navy? The prom is supposed to be for traditional couples, man.
What's more traditional than fairies and fat chicks? Why would Carmen wanna dump such a charmer? One day, and I already feel like I need a long, hot shower.
I don't know how long I can keep this up.
What you need is an exit strategy.
You know what's gonna happen, Veronica? I'm gonna end up a downloadable national joke.
You know, right up there with Paris Hilton or that Star Wars kid.
I'll be the video that everyone e- mails their friends.
Just Google "Popsicle girl," and there I'll be for the rest of human history.
And I can't stop him.
Unless you had something that would ruin Tad back.
Get your own A-bomb, and it prevents him from launching first.
Mutually assured destruction.
You're not gonna find any dirt on Tad, if that's what you mean.
Beyond his penchant for amateur, underage pornography? Leave that to me.
I just need to know that you're willing to get your hands a little dirty.
If it makes you feel any better, he didn't really leave you much of a choice.
Tad used to be different.
He was the first boyfriend I ever had.
He was the first guy I ever slept with.
The first guy who got you drunk and took dirty pictures of you? You still wanna date him? Then let's get this over with.
What do I do? You invite Tad for a romantic afternoon on the Neptune boardwalk.
What are you doing here? You miss me? Alternator trouble.
Think your uncle can return the LeBaron to all its original glory? He could get it ready for Daytona if you pay him enough.
That won't be necessary.
Come here.
The word is the Kanes are offering a nice little reward to find Duncan.
You pick up some leads when you broke into the Kane house? Or were you just covering your tracks? You used me.
Yeah, well, we're always owing each other favors, aren't we? Don't give me that look.
If you really thought I'd hurt Lilly, you'd have a homing device on my ass.
I just heard something I thought might be worth, say, 10 percent of your finder's fee.
Ten percent? Depends on what that something is.
How about a certain spoiled white boy bought a crapped-out Impala from my uncle's friend a few weeks back? Eight percent, if it pans out, and you throw in that alternator.
All right.
Hey, Dad, you got a pen? A '69 Impala California license plate, 6GUC 788.
And he bought it for 800 cash a couple weeks ago.
Right.
Bye.
It's always business with you.
So the place is ours.
Dad's at class.
Trina's at an extremely important purse-store opening in Beverly Hills.
- Your dad is taking classes? - Yeah.
Exploring the world outside himself.
All part of the new Aaron Echolls.
Spanish, ceramics, tae kwon do, and today, glass blowing with Silvio Perelli master of Old World crystal.
Nice, huh? Just two lessons.
And he made a bong? An urn for my mom.
Since there was no body and thus no ashes, he filled it with sea water.
Because she jumped into the ocean, get it? At least it gets him out of the house.
Hey.
Do you think this thing will ever get more normal? What, like, will we ever hang at the mall and hold hands and buy each other teddy bears with hearts that say, "I wuv you beary much"? Yes.
Exactly that.
Except I want my bear won through some sort of demonstration of ring-tossing ability.
Well, secrets are kind of hot too.
I'm sorry.
Well, I didn't realize you had company.
Hello, Veronica.
I thought you were out.
Yeah, well, Silvio cancelled, so I grabbed some swordfish.
I thought I'd try that lime-tequila marinade.
You know I think I'll get out of your guys' hair.
There's chips if you're hungry.
They're blue corn.
Really good.
Oh, my God.
Did I just get caught by my dad making out on the couch? Yeah, you got caught by your dad.
I got caught by the star of Breaking Point and Beyond the Breaking Point.
That's weird.
And I have lipstick on my teeth.
Logan, look who showed up.
- Dick and - Cassidy.
- Beaver.
- Beav.
This is why you couldn't surf? You had "something to do" on the couch? I'm sorry, dude.
I just Dude.
- You got a chick here? - No, that's Trina's.
She's without her lip-gloss.
It's possible she's suffering out there.
Oh, right and I'm supposed to take that to her.
Yeah.
Actually, I was gonna go with you.
Dude, no way.
You already blew us off on the water.
And we got business to discuss.
This weekend, Mexico, annual surf and chick fest.
- Beav talked to these cheerleaders.
- It turns out they have a retreat outside Rosarito.
They just got second in this contest.
Beers, waves and weak-willed cheerleaders right next door.
Looks like Logan's gonna be stuck for a while.
Ride home? So how are you, Veronica? Embarrassed.
- Uncomfortable.
- Don't be.
I was a teenager once.
The thing I really wanna ask is: How's Logan? I think he's coming to terms.
He was such a good kid.
- When Lilly died, he became - Difficult? Maybe it's in the genes.
I can be difficult from time to time.
Whatever.
I don't know if you guys are serious or casual or are just talking but your secret's safe with me, you know? I just appreciate whatever you're doing to help him through it.
Sure.
Thanks.
Veronica I'm glad you two are together.
I like what I see in him when he's with you.
The talk with Dad.
I guess that means my relationship with Logan is officially off the ground in time for Tad and Carmen's relationship to crash and burn on the boardwalk.
Jeez, how much vodka did you put in this thing? You like these? Hi.
Thank you.
How much do you love me? I don't know what it is about you, Carmen, that makes me feel plumb loco.
Do you wanna try something really crazy? I want you to go talk with Seth.
Why? Do you need fashion advice? I heard from that drama chick, Gina, that he's got the best X in school.
I don't know, I thought maybe on prom night you'd wanna experiment with me after the dance.
This is why I love you.
Be right back.
Hey, Seth.
- Hey.
- Hey.
She said you had some Ecstasy.
All we need now is a soundtrack.
Be natural.
Be intimate.
And let Tad do the talking.
He will tie his own noose, guaranteed.
Homestretch, girlfriend.
Hey, Tad.
I had such a great time today.
Me too, baby.
I wish I had you here right now, though, in my bed.
I can't wait until after prom for our little erotic experiment.
I had no idea you'd be so into dropping X together.
Are you kidding me? I've always been curious.
I was always just worried about my parents.
Or the Naval Academy.
They'd kick me out if they ever found out.
Well, are you sure you're ready for me? Bigtime.
Nighty-night.
So how was that? That was a little scary.
So remember, we'll meet for lunch tomorrow.
And don't forget Tad.
- Hi, honey.
- Good news.
- It's chicken Kiev night, and this time - Next time.
- I gotta run.
- The mystery bag? On a Tuesday? My own dad has lost total libidinal control.
Are you sure? There are some important teen issues we could discuss.
The car Duncan bought? Just got a tip.
Spotted outside Tijuana.
Yale, baby! He's in room what? Room service.
It's about time you came home, Dun Duncan, what are you? The car out front? The Impala? The Impala, sí.
It's yours? It's a bust.
The car was abandoned outside the bus station a case of beer in the seat, and a sign in Spanish saying "free car.
" A decoy.
- Maybe Duncan's smarter than I gave credit.
- Well, he did ace his PSATs.
- I'll see you at home for dinner? - Rain check, honey.
- Alicia and I - Are going out.
Right.
I'll see you when I see you.
You busy? Still working on that passport thing.
Check it out.
I just found Mr.
Heinrick's posting on the Neptune "swingles" site.
Larry.
- What do you need? - Along those same lines how long does it take you to create a highly incriminating thoroughly libelous, sexually explicit website? Forty-five minutes, give or take.
I'll get started on it as soon as I'm done reading about how Mr.
Heinrick's interests include horseback riding on the beach hot-tubbing with special friends and "sensual charades.
" Thanks, Mac.
That's a mental image I'll carry with me to the grave.
Is that my math teacher? Here's the ammo.
Seth here will help you with the rest.
What are you doing here? I'm here to offer you a deal.
I want my cell phone back.
Of course.
Next order of business: You and Carmen are broken up, effective immediately.
What about yesterday? The boardwalk? My tattoo? It's called pretending.
I don't love you anymore, and you can't blackmail me into it.
Carmen, I swear, I never wanted to hurt you.
You made me do it.
- Look, and if you make me do it again - She'll hurt you worse.
- What's that? - It's Seth's web page devoted to your forbidden love.
Beautiful song you wrote for him.
It's a bunch of crap.
You guys just faked that with Photoshop.
No one's gonna believe this.
- Hey, Tad.
- I can't wait until after prom for our little erotic experiment.
- Why didn't you tell me you were into guys? - Are you kidding me? I've always been curious.
I was always just worried about my parents.
Or the Naval Academy.
They'd kick me out if they ever found out.
Seen enough? Who cares about what this school thinks about me? I'm gone in a month.
Actually, I was able to get the e-mail addresses of every plebe at Annapolis.
One press of a button and each of your new classmates will have the link to this special website.
The Navy's got that "don't ask, don't tell" thing.
If we tell, they're gonna ask.
Mutually assured destruction.
Think hard, Tad.
- Look, Carmen - I don't ever wanna speak to you again.
- Let's go.
- Does this bother you? - Yes! - All right.
Mass transit.
Why take the bus when you can drive your own rustbucket? I had my dad's driver pick it up.
Full of fresh stolen parts, ready to go.
I'll just try to keep this little gesture in mind this weekend when you and Dick and the Beaver are off getting blasted and scamming cheerleaders.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Actually, I had to tell Dick I'm not available because I have other plans.
There are cheerleaders with low self-esteem available domestically? Are you free Friday? Maybe we could go out.
Here? In Neptune? What about our little secret? Well, I thought we'd try a practice run on Catalina Island.
What do you think about us skipping school Friday for a ride on Dad's boat? Dinner and a movie? - I'll pencil you in.
- So it's What is the word? A date? - Nice of your dad to let us use his boat.
- Yeah, I think he actually likes you.
- He heard that stuff about your parents - What? What stuff? Logan! What the hell, man? There was something in the paper, he said.
I don't know.
So 10-ish, Albacore Club, slip five.
Oh, my God.
I know what entrapment is.
Actually, Loretta, I don't think you do.
Yeah, it's Cliff.
Yes, I'm always available for you.
This is entrapment.
Oh, and if that's Tamara tell that bitch she can beg all she wants.
I'm testifying.
Ms.
Cancun, please, you're not helping yourself.
Veronica, what do you need? Why would someone place a notice of legal proceedings in the classifieds? Could be anything.
Can you be more specific? Like, say, a man seeking the whereabouts of a woman? Could be child support, civil suit, divorce.
Sign right here, dear.
Divorce? "Screw you, pig.
" Nice.
Okay.
Like a big girl now.
You have to run a notice for seven days before you can file for divorce on grounds of abandonment I gotta run, V.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
One more day before whatever is happening happens and Lianne Mars returns clean and sober to a home that no longer has a place for her.
- Classifieds.
- Hi, this is Veronica, Keith Mars' assistant who placed a notice in your paper at the start of the week.
Mr.
Mars' legal situation has changed.
He won't be needing to run the ad.
Good thing you called.
We're an hour from deadline.
If you can just confirm Mr.
Mars' address, credit information, account password we'll take care of that for you.
Account password.
They have to have something sensible, like a password to prevent people like me from doing what I'm trying to do.
I'd feel uncomfortable about tracking my dad's cell phone if he hadn't done it to me first.
A hotel.
Great.
Suddenly, I'm feeling a little queasy.
We have no one under Mars or Fennel staying with us.
And trying all the Mr.
And Mrs.
Smiths is out of the question? Thanks anyway.
Okay, Dad, I get it.
You're happy.
Good morning.
It is good, isn't it? Hey, Carmen.
- Hi.
- I was wondering if you're hungry.
- No.
- I thought you might suck on my Popsicle.
Tad pressed the button.
- What if somebody catches us? - No one is gonna catch us.
No way.
Man, you really did miss out.
That Carmen is freaky! What's wrong with you, man? Where'd this come from? Hey.
I saw your car was still in the lot.
I was waiting for the rest of school to leave so that I could sneak home without being assailed with any frozen desserts.
I'm sure my parents have seen the video by now so I'm not exactly sure where I'm planning to hide.
Somewhere they don't have computers.
- I can't believe he did it.
- Imagine my surprise.
You know what? Screw it.
I'm still glad that I dumped that idiot, loser, crap-face.
I'd rather the whole world think I'm trashy than have a guy like Tad think he can push me around.
At least now it's over.
No more waiting for the bomb to drop.
That's right.
No more waiting.
Time to strike back.
- Mutually assured destruction.
- The honor's yours.
Thanks anyway.
You can't let him get away with it.
Tearing Tad down isn't gonna make me feel better.
- Carmen, I can't stress enough - Sorry, Veronica.
I guess revenge just isn't my thing.
What if somebody catches us? - That's too wild.
- I know, it's cool.
Sweet.
It's all fun and games until one of you gets my foot up your ass.
Oh, my God.
I remember those stars and Chinese lamps.
In fact, they're about the only things I remember from that night.
A year and a half ago.
Shelly Pomroy had a party.
All right! Could it be the night Carmen gave her boyfriend a sex show that she can't remember was the same night I was drugged and raped in a guest bedroom? I know I should have told you.
No.
Your life is your business.
I just felt, after a year of not knowing I wanted options.
If I ever decided to move on, serving notice is just a first step.
And if I think I might take another No more surprises, I promise.
I just want you to be happy, Dad and I realize that may involve surprises.
Roberto Nalbandian.
Who's Roberto Nalbandian? I have no idea.
Forgive me if, as of yet, I'm unimpressed.
But I do know that someone purchased his Argentinean passport off of eBay and had it shipped to the airport Marriott.
Dad, this is Mac.
She knows her way around a computer.
- Mac, my dad.
- Hi.
So Argentina.
Roberto Nalbandian.
That's great.
So the bounty on Duncan.
What's my share? Eight? - Ten? - Ten! But you drive a hard bargain.
- I meant percent.
- You'll get your cut.
New question: Is there any way to figure out when a video was recorded on a cell phone? Sure.
Every MPEG has an embedded time stamp.
Okay.
Carmen's video? - I've got it up on the screen.
- Sure.
No problem.
It says the image was captured at 3:23 a.
m.
, December 7th, 2003.
I can't believe that butthead sent it out.
What? Does that date mean something? Nothing.
Only that Carmen and I don't remember the same night.
No, I just have a meeting.
But you have until 5:30 to decide chicken or fish.
Otherwise, you lose your right to complain.
Bye, Keith.
You wanted to see me, Mr? Clarence Wiedman.
I'm with security here, Mrs.
Fennel.
I wanted to talk to you about Keith Mars.
- What? - You've been seeing Mr.
Mars for the past couple months.
What you may not know: He is a man with a known grudge against the Kane family and this company.
I'll have to ask you to stop seeing him if you want to avoid problems with your job.
Look Mr.
Weed, or whatever your name is I've been a perfect employee since I stepped through that door and I have never done anything to raise questions as to my dedication to my job.
The idea that you can tell me what I can and can't do with my personal life? - Well, Clarence - Mrs.
Fennel you know what this is? This is an electronic eavesdropping device.
A bug.
I found it in that houseplant, which has been in my office for the last several weeks.
Do you know who delivered it? Your son, Wallace.
Like I said you really might want to reconsider your relationship with Mr.
Mars.
An hour early to school is pretty brownnosy, but even at Neptune yachting is not a recognized excuse for a late English report.
How's it hanging, Tad? Let me guess.
Uncomfortable? I guess you and Carmen got those bikers to put me up here.
I had nothing to do with putting you up here.
But I might be convinced to help you get down.
What do you want from me, bitch? You destroyed my life.
You took the only person that I ever loved.
- I don't recall forcing you to send the video.
- No, she did.
She left me.
And what good did sending it do? Who's gonna wanna touch her now? Yeah, if I can't have her, no one can.
You're lucky she has a better soul than I do.
I would have taken you down with me.
Are you gonna cut me down if I apologize? Is that it? Nope.
I just want a simple answer to a simple question.
Who gave you the Rohypnol the night of Shelly Pomroy's party? Yeah, I know.
You roofied your girlfriend.
Class with a capital K.
I don't remember.
In five minutes, people are gonna show up for school.
And unless you want your little business to be the first thing they see you're gonna tell me who gave you the roofies.
There weren't any roofies.
It was GHB.
It was Logan Echolls.
He gave it to me.
- Thank you.
- This might sting a bit.
Look, Veronica, come back here.
Veronica, please! Don't do this.
This isn't over, Veronica Mars!
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