Bewitched (1964) s01e21 Episode Script

Well, hello there.
Where'd you come from? - You hungry? - I don't think so.
Oh, hello, Mrs.
Kravitz.
Looking for your cat? No, my bird.
Oh, my stars.
Well, you don't mean? Well, I put Tweety out for her sunbath.
Then I heard this meowing and when I went out, the cage was empty.
- There she is.
- Where? - There.
Don't you see? - No, I don't see.
Where? There you are, Tweety! Oh, I'm so glad you're safe.
Oh, Tweety, don't you ever worry your mommy like that again.
You saw Tweety way up there on the roof.
- You must have wonderful eyes.
- Thank you.
- I'm glad Tweety's back.
- Oh, so am I.
Oh, Tweety.
Hello? Oh, hi, Wally.
How are you? In trouble, as usual, Samantha.
Has Darrin left yet? No, no, he hasn't.
Just a second, I'll call him.
Darrin It's for you.
Wally Ames, he sounds upset.
I'll bet he does.
Hello, Wally.
What's that? Rick Avery called.
He's tired of waiting for Pickering to approve a girl for the Jewel of the East campaign.
He said to tell you that he's on his way to Paris.
So he's on his way to Paris.
When we find the right girl, you'll photograph her.
Of course you can do it, Wally.
You're every bit as good as Avery.
The only trick is to find a girl that Pickering will approve.
- He said to tell you - Don't panic, Wally.
I'll be down as soon as I can.
Goodbye.
Here, darling, drink this.
I'll fix the eggs.
Never mind, honey.
I won't have time.
There isn't a girl in this city Pickering will approve as the Jewel of the East.
- What's he looking for? - Someone exotic and Eastern for the annual institutional layout.
We haven't found the right face.
Well, don't worry.
You'll find her, I know you will.
It better be soon.
We're down to the deadline.
I only need her for one day.
- I wish I could help you.
- So do I.
But never mind.
I'll see you tonight.
He's very upset, you know.
Say, you're exotic-Iooking.
And you come from the East.
You may just be the right face.
Cat, how'd you like to be a cover girl? The Jewel of the East.
The point is, Wally, you've been doing Avery's work for years.
He got the reputation.
You've got the talent.
- I wish I could believe that.
- I do too because it's the truth.
All you need is a chance.
Are you willing to give Wally a shot at the Pickering campaign? What makes you think there'll be a campaign? - All we need's the right model.
- How many have we shown him? - Twenty, 25.
- All great-Iooking girls and he hasn't okayed one, right? - Right.
Suppose the impossible happened and the right girl did walk in.
Would we have time to make the next issue? Sure, if she walked in right this minute.
- Yes.
- There's a young lady to see you.
- Not now.
- I think you'd better see this one.
Okay.
Send her in.
- Cheer up, Larry.
This may be the one.
- Dreamer.
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
My name is Ling-Ling.
A friend suggested I might serve your needs as the girl for the Jewel of the East campaign.
I haven't much experience, but I'm very adaptable and agile.
Would you be interested in me? What's the trouble? Cat got your tongue? I don't know about the others, but I think you'd be perfect.
- She is perfect.
- Sensational.
- Gentlemen, I think we're in business.
- I think you're right.
Wally, I want you to take a shot of Miss Ling-Ling.
A headshot.
Larry, why don't you see Pickering, get him all steamed up.
- I'll wait for the picture and meet you.
- Good thinking, Darrin.
If he doesn't go for this, he doesn't deserve a campaign.
In fact, don't wait for Pickering's okay.
Shoot the campaign like we planned it.
- I've got the assignment? - Has he, Larry? - What's he waiting for? - What are you waiting for? Yes, what are we waiting for? Miss Ling-Ling, would you sit up here in this seat, please and just relax, be comfortable.
That's it.
You can drop the coat anywhere you want.
That's a beautiful necklace.
These lights might get a little warm after a while.
I'm sorry to have to rush you this way.
Oh, that's all right.
I'm used to moving swiftly.
When I have to.
You're tilting your head too much.
Would you straighten it up and look right into the lens, please? Oh, now you're Now you're looking too much the other way.
Just watch the birdie.
- Birdie? - That's it.
Hold it.
Hold it.
That's fine.
You can relax now.
- Well, that's it.
You were wonderful.
- Thank you.
- Would you like cream in your coffee? - No coffee.
Just cream, please.
You know, I have a hunch you're gonna be lucky for me.
- Lucky? - Lf they sell the Pickering people we've got a great campaign started.
Started? You must have taken Almost.
And I must say, you were wonderful.
- I've never seen such patience.
- It's one of my virtues.
- Congratulations, Miss Ling-Ling.
- You are officially the Jewel of the East.
- May I change now? - Of course.
Wally, it worked.
Pickering was crazy about that picture you took.
Wait till he sees what we got this afternoon.
He'll go out of his mind.
She's great.
- I agree wholeheartedly.
- So do I.
This calls for a celebration.
At my house.
Why don't you call Louise and have her meet us at 7.
- It's a date.
- We'll drink to the success of the most promising photographer in town.
Well, thanks to you, Darrin.
And that fabulous girl.
She's so self-reliant.
So So delicate and graceful.
Well, what do you know? I think Wally found himself a model and a new career in the same afternoon.
- See you at the house.
- You better phone Samantha.
Let her know you're bringing a crowd.
It is awfully short notice.
Maybe I better bow out.
- You'll do nothing of the kind.
- She can handle it? Gentlemen, my wife can handle anything.
But I'd better call her, just in case.
I told Abner about your finding Tweety this morning.
You remember? - Oh, yes, of course.
- By the way, have you seen that cat? I sent her out on an errand.
She should be back any minute.
It wasn't important.
I'll bet Mr.
Kravitz is glad to get Tweety back too.
No, he wasn't.
He hates birds.
Say, are you going out to dinner tonight? No, I was just going through the cookbook to see if I could find something different.
I just wondered.
Your kitchen is so uncluttered, and it's after 6.
It doesn't take long.
It's just the two of us.
Well, I'd better get back to my own kitchen.
Bye.
Hello? Oh, hi, darling.
I've got a lot to tell you, all good.
I'm bringing Wally, Larry and Louise home.
Is that the good news? No, it's the Pickering account.
I'll tell you when I get there.
How soon will that be? I'm leaving right now.
Bye, sweetheart.
Oh, well, goodbye, sweetheart.
Cocktails and dinner for all those people.
Oh, dear.
Darrin, please forgive me, but I'm sure that you'd consider this an emergency.
First, the hors d'oeuvres.
Splendid.
Now that cream soup that Darrin's so crazy about.
Now, let's see A leg of lamb might be nice.
And maybe a green salad with some rolls and an unpretentious little wine.
Delicious.
Now, I wonder what would be good for dessert.
I just stopped back to explain that remark I made about Abner.
He doesn't hate all birds.
Just mine.
You know what I think? You know, I think he's jealous of the time I spend with her.
- Sardines.
Delicious.
- Have another.
Look at all this food.
Where did it come from? - The market.
- Yeah, but I mean, a minute ago, there was nothing here.
I'm a fast worker.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I knew there was nothing here.
I wish I was a fast worker.
Now, dessert.
Honey, I'm home.
- Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi, sweetheart.
- Where are the others? - Right behind me.
- Is everything all right with the food? - Just fine.
- Hi, Samantha.
- Samantha.
I bet you're delighted to have us turn up at the last minute like this.
I'm delighted to see both of you anytime.
Darrin, she's a gem, an absolute gem.
If I pulled this on Louise, she'd kick me out.
And Samantha would probably be foolish enough to let you in.
- Where's Wally? - Here I am.
- I brought a friend.
I hope it's all right.
- Of course it is.
Come on in.
It's all right.
She was a little timid about imposing, Samantha but I told her you wouldn't mind.
Relax, Ling-Ling, you're among friends.
She does look a little nervous, doesn't she? Nervous as a cat.
Actually, we discovered we have a lot in common.
Ling-Ling doesn't care much for drinking.
She likes to hunt and fish.
And at night, she Oh, thank you.
She's perfectly content to just curl up around a fire.
Not only that, but she's really a sweet gal.
- Curious about everything - You forgot Ling-Ling.
Oh, I don't want to spoil her dinner.
We'll be going in in a minute.
Well, at least offer her some.
You'd better hurry.
She's starving to death.
- Here you are, Louise.
- Thank you.
Ling-Ling, did Wally tell you he was a tennis champ at college? I don't think he mentioned it.
He used it to work his way through school.
Quite a racket if you'll excuse the pun.
How about you telling us your side of the story? What do you feel about this lovesick shutterbug? - I beg your pardon? - Wally.
What do you think of him? Oh, I like him.
He gave me a pretty collar to wear and took my picture.
A pretty collar? The Jewel of the East, and she calls it a pretty collar.
I wish Pickering could hear that.
There are spoons for those of you who wish to use them.
However, if you prefer to drink your soup in the native manner like Ling-Ling, you'll find it a delicious way to savour the brew.
You sound like a guide.
Lap up your soup, darling, before it gets cold.
Those two are getting serious.
Did you see how he looked at her through dinner? - She's something to look at, isn't she? - Yes, she certainly is.
I think maybe Ling-Ling and I ought to have a little girl talk.
Ling-Ling? You're angry because I didn't come back.
Oh, you came back, all right.
Now, I know it's just as much my fault as it is yours.
But I wanted to help my husband.
I had no idea it would go this far.
- Well, it has, and I like it.
- But it's impossible.
- Oh, is it? - Of course.
Wally's just finding himself and you cannot let him fall in love with you.
You cannot lead him on, promising things you can never give him.
- Why not? - Because sooner or later you're going to have to go back to what you really are.
You're gonna wake up in a little tiny fur coat you won't be able to take off.
Then where will you be? Oh, I know how you feel about Wally now.
Basically, you're very independent.
You'll get over it.
I don't feel one way or the other about Wally.
But I do like things the way they are.
I like to be pampered and made a fuss over.
As long as he does that, I'll stay with him.
- Now, Ling-Ling, you listen to reason.
- I'm not interested.
You wouldn't be if you spent your life scrounging around alleys searching for scraps.
But all that's over with now.
From now on, it'll be martinis and sardines all the way.
Ling-Ling, I'm shocked.
Don't be, pet.
Where I come from, it's one big rat race.
Hi there.
- Am I interrupting anything? - Oh, no, darling.
We're just having a little kit-cat Chitchat.
And we're all finished now.
So if you'll excuse me She is all girl, isn't she? - Not exactly.
- There's something different about her.
- You can say that again.
- What's the matter? Don't you like her? It's not that, Darrin.
It's Oh, she's just wrong for him.
Wally's crazy about her.
I might as well get this over with.
Ling-Ling is wrong for any man.
What do you mean by that? - She's a cat.
- Why? Did she say something about Louise? Not that kind of a cat.
A "cat" cat.
Honey, you're not making any sense.
- You're not listening.
- Well, say what you mean.
I said it.
Ling-Ling is a cat.
A cat? A "cat" cat? Oh, no.
No.
No, honey.
You didn't take a cat and turn it into a A Siamese cat.
You wanted something exotic and Eastern for the campaign.
I thought I was doing you a favour.
A favour? You took a cat and turned it into a girl? I can't believe that.
Why can't I believe that? I'm married to a witch.
A witch can do anything.
She took a cat, turned into a girl and my friend fell in love with her.
What's so hard to believe? - Darrin, please.
- Can you change her back? - Not in front of all those people.
- What are we gonna do? You're Wally's friend, you tell him.
You're right.
I'll have to tell him.
I'll go right out there and tell him.
Tell him what? Just try and discourage his feeling for her.
I'll take care of the rest later.
Have a heart.
Ling-Ling and I were making plans for tomorrow.
Wally, this can't wait.
It's about her.
- What about her? - Well, she - She's no good.
- What? You heard me.
- Why would you say a thing like that? - Because she's She's just not right for you.
Let me be the judge of that.
Besides, you hardly know her.
Believe me, I know more about her than I can say right now.
I don't care about her past.
She's told me about that.
She's been around, but she's always landed on her feet.
There's more to it.
You don't understand.
Darrin, I've always considered you a friend, but you're way out of line.
I am your friend.
If you only knew how much of a friend I'm trying to be, that Wally? Oh, Ling-Ling, we were just talking about you.
You will excuse us.
- Ling-Ling? You forgot your drink.
- Oh, thank you.
- What happened? - What could happen? He doesn't know she's a cat, but now he thinks I'm a rat.
Don't you worry.
Everything's gonna be just fine.
- I'll bet.
- I put something in her drink.
- Catnip, I suppose.
- Yes.
- Sam, you didn't.
- I did.
It'll relax her.
She just may tip her paw.
You look lovely in the moonlight.
Ling-Ling, I'm crazy about you.
Everybody else is trying to interfere.
I won't listen.
You're the most wonderful girl in the world.
You're so beautiful and so graceful.
So sweet.
- Are you all right, Ling-Ling? - Perfect.
Listen, there's something very important I want to tell you.
Don't drink any more.
I want you to hear what I have to say.
- Give it back.
- What's the matter, Ling-Ling? - I want it back.
- Ling-Ling.
I want it back.
Sounds like the lovebirds are having a little spat.
Oh, I hope not.
They were getting along so well.
Does a little nip mean more to you than I do? Ling-Ling, I thought you cared for me.
You may need this.
Don't stray too far.
- Louise, I think we'd better go.
- Larry, wait.
Well, it is getting late.
But Wally's coming in.
- Oh, my, Wally.
- What happened? Ling-Ling.
You were right.
There must be something wrong with her.
I think she's a you know, or something.
- Wally, I'm sorry.
I don't know what came over her.
I just took her drink and all of a sudden she arched her back and hissed at me and scratched me.
It was terrible.
- Good heavens.
- That's too bad, but don't worry.
She probably had too much.
Happens in the best of families.
She'll probably call and apologise tomorrow.
I wouldn't be too sure about that.
It's better that you found out now than later.
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Of course.
After all, you're going to be a famous photographer.
Think of the pretty girls you'll be meeting.
Yeah.
It was just disappointing, though.
We had a date tomorrow to go birdwatching.
What are you doing now? It's for that cat that's been hanging around, Abner.
- I feel guilty for what happened today.
- What happened? I accused her of molesting Tweety.
She should get a medal.
I'm just gonna leave her a saucer of milk to apologise.
Here, puss, puss, puss.
Here, puss, puss, puss.
Well, it's here when you're ready, puss.
- It's been quite a day, hasn't it? - Yes, but it turned out all right.
- Even for Ling-Ling.
- Ling-Ling! I forgot to change her back.
- Abner! - Yeah? Abner, there's a woman in a fur coat lapping up the milk.
Is there? Ling-Ling? Abner, will you please come look? Abner, hurry! Ling Good.
Here, Gladys.
I thought I'd be prepared this time.