Bunnicula (2016) s01e21 Episode Script

1
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(SNARLING)
(CACKLES)
Tomato, keep away!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
You're no match for
my awesome doggy reflexes,
buddy.
-(SCREAMS)
-(LAUGHS) Uh-oh.
A knitting needle.
Oh, man, that could
really hurt somebody.
(GRUNTS)
(SPITS AND GROWLS)
Yoo-hoo!
No tomato for you!
(BOTH LAUGH)
You say, "Tomato,"
I say, "No way-o!"
Enough!
Can't a guy ever get
any peace and quiet
in this house?
(CHOMPING)
Ow! Get off!
(LAUGHING)
Ahhh! Bunnicula bit me!
This is what happens
when you guys roughhouse!
Bunnicula bit you?
(GASPS) You know
what that means, right?
Oh, I guess it means
my violin practice is over.
So, thanks a lot for that!
Oh, hey, my pleasure.
But, no! Even better.
You're gonna turn
into a vampire!
What?
No, that's not
how it works.
Bunnicula drains vegetables.
-Ah!
-CHESTER: You're thinking
of human vampires.
They turn other people
into vampires when they bite.
Bunnicula,
will you please tell Harold
how you can't actually
(GASPS)
Oh! He got you good.
-Aw, two vampires
in the house!
-Huh?
You and Bunnicula
are going to be
like twin brothers.
Huh?
No!
I will never be
like Bunnicula,
vampire, or otherwise.
Bunnicula, look at this
and tell Harold that your bite
will not turn me
into a vampire.
Hmm.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
I don't know.
What? You don't know?
Do you really think
I'm that gullible?
Ooh.
Chester, now you bite me.
I want to be a vampire too.
Harold, you're delusional.
And Bunnicula,
you're not gonna trick me
into believing that, uh
(STUTTERING)
And furthermore
You're not getting
into my head!
I did that for Bunnicula,
sun's coming up.
HAROLD: (ECHOING)
Vampire! Vampire! Vampire!
Ugh. Me?
Turning into a vampire?
-Please, how would
any of this be possible?
-(PHONE BEEPS)
PHONE: It sounds like you
have asked a question.
-How can I help?
-(SIGHS)
These things
understand cat now?
Phone, how can I tell if
I'm turning into a vampire?
(PHONE BEEPS)
Have you been
bitten by a vampire?
Well, yeah.
I mean, a vampire rabbit,
but that doesn't really
Congratulations, you are
indeed turning into a vampire.
-Ow. Ow. Ow.
-Wait, what?
There are five steps
you will experience
during this exciting
transition in your life.
The first step is denial.
No, I am not in denial,
you dumb phone. I'm not.
I'm not! I'm not!
I'm not! I'm not!
You worthless piece of junk!
(PHONE BEEPS)
The second step is anger.
-(CHESTER SCREAMS)
-(GLASS SHATTERING)
All right, let's take a look.
(GRUNTS)
Like they say,
"The mirror doesn't lie."
Hmm.
Chester? Is that you?
(CHUCKLES) I had barely
even recognized you.
You're changing
quicker than I thought.
Oh, hey, Harold.
Uh
-Are you ironing?
-I don't know.
Is that what they call
this game?
I see Mina's dad doing it,
like once a year, so
Come on, Harold,
level with me.
Can you honestly say
I look like a vampire?
Sure I can.
You just need to accessorize
a little more.
Oh, and
-Voila!
-Ugh.
All right,
I'll tell you what,
I'll make you a deal.
I'll jump off
of this ironing board
and if I can suddenly fly,
it'll prove that I'm a vampire
and I'll admit I was wrong
and that you were right.
But if I don't fly,
you gotta drop
this whole thing
and leave me alone.
Got it?
(PHONE BEEPS)
The third step is bargaining.
Ready? (GRUNTS)
(SIGHS) What the
Uh, Harold?
-What's happening?
-Told you.
CHESTER: Oh!
What's happening now?
It's your reflection,
it's disappearing.
(GASPS) Vampires
don't have reflections.
Oh, my gosh!
If this is true,
I'll never see
another sunrise!
I'll lose the taste
for fine foods.
Left only
to draining vegetables.
(GASPS)
I'll be no different
than Bunnicula!
No!
(WAILING)
-This is the worst thing ever!
-(PHONE BEEPS)
Step four, depression.
(BUNNICULA HUMMING)
Well, well, well,
look who it is.
Turns out your bite
really did turn me
into a vampire.
Huh? What? Yay!
What? No!
Don't be happy for me.
This is terrible!
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Bunnic says that being
a vampire is the coolest
thing in the world.
(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)
Whoa, Bunnicula's scrapbook.
Look at all these
super old pictures
from his life.
(GASPS)
He's gotten to ride in all
of these cool old ships.
(GASPS)
Fly in all these
cool old planes.
(GASPS)
See all those
cool old people.
(BUNNICULA SPEAKS GIBBERISH)
HAROLD:
He says, that with your
brand-new vampire life,
you'll get to see
new technology
and galaxies
be discovered,
medical breakthroughs,
read every book ever written!
By golly! You're right!
It's gonna be amazing.
-I am a vampire!
-(PHONE BEEPS)
PHONE: The tablet next door
gets a thinner case
and suddenly she thinks
she's all that.
Oh, when the next
generation comes out,
I promise you she
(CLEARS THROAT)
The fifth and final stage
is acceptance.
(HUMMING)
-Ahhh! Ugh!
-Oh, hey, Bunnicula.
I see you've found
my vegetable draining
attempts.
See, my fangs still
haven't come in yet.
So, I'm just trying to make do
for the time being.
(SUCKING)
(SIGHS)
I think these carrots
just might be your thing.
I've been experimenting
to see if other vegetables
are more my speed.
Ahhh!
Maybe, I'm more of
a fruit-draining vampire.
You know,
watermelon can be classified
as a fruit or a vegetable.
(CHUCKLES)
Go ahead, Chester,
have a bite.
Oh, Harold.
What are you doing?
I told you, I wanna be
a vampire with you guys.
-Come on, bite me.
-I'm not gonna bite you.
Come on! Please?
Come on, you can do it.
Open up the hatch.
Oh, Harold,
you don't deserve
this cursed life.
The cruel destiny
of the undead,
trapped forever!
-(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
-What's a drama queen?
(CACKLING)
Aw, you watching
this old one again?
Look, Bunnic,
as a new generation vampire,
I gotta tell you,
these old vampire movies
seem a bit corny.
Let me bring you up to speed
on the new stuff.
(SCREAMS)
-Hey, you're sparkly.
-Yeah.
-(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)
-I know, right?
You gotta love all
the seduction and staring.
Ha! Looks like we both
have a little something
to teach each other.
Huh, old timer?
(GASPS) Harold?
(IN A HIGH PITCHED VOICE)
Uh, no, this is Bunnicula.
Have a bite of this popcorn,
it's really good.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(SIGHS)
-CHESTER: Nighty night.
-(GASPS)
Sleep tight,
dear brother of the night.
BUNNICULA: Get out!
PHONE: To purchase
a one way ticket to Siberia
for your annoying cat,
please press one.
-Bunnicula, I need you.
Vampire emergency!
-Ahhh!
I need you to perform
a ritual for me.
It's my fangs,
they're still not growing in.
I found this spell book called
Fast Fangs and Other Spells.
-I think this might be
the solution to my problem.
-Huh?
All right, come on,
come on, come on.
Get reading.
All right.
(CHANTING IN GIBBERISH)
(WIND WHOOSHING)
(GASPS) It's happening!
It's happening, I can feel it!
-Keep reading, Bunnicula.
-(CHANTING CONTINUES)
Come on!
Hit me with those
killer fangs, baby!
(GASPS)
Nothing! Bunnicula,
what's the problem?
Are you even reading
the right spell?
I don't know.
(BOTH GASP)
(GRUNTS)
Ahhh! What is that thing?
CHESTER: Wooden stakes,
garlic necklace,
official-looking
vampire hunter T-shirt?
Bunnicula,
you summoned
a vampire hunter?
Huh? (SCREAMS)
-(GASPING)
-(HORSE NEIGHS)
Bunnicula, come back!
Well, Chester,
luckily you always
know what to do
in times of fight, or flight.
Flight!
Huh? (SCREAMS)
Ahhh, my cape's caught!
Why does this feel
vaguely familiar?
(STRAINING)
Why am I not flying?
(GASPS)
My reflection, it's back.
-(ROOSTER CROWING)
-Ahhh, the sun!
No, no, no! It burns!
It It It's not burning.
All my vampire-ness
is suddenly gone.
Ah, the vampire hunter
isn't a threat anymore.
Well, Chester old boy,
looks like everything
is gonna turn out just
-(CAPE RIPS)
-(GASPS) Uh-oh.
-(SCREAMING)
-MAN: Ta-da-da.
Hello, V-neck T-shirt season.
(SCREAMS) Oof.
Ahhh!
Oh, you've got it
all wrong, mister.
You don't want me.
I can't fly!
I have a reflection!
I'm out in the sun!
I'm not a vampire.
(WAILING) I'm not a vampire!
(SLURPING)
Huh?
Duh! I know you're not
a vampire, Chester.
What? Harold, you're
the vampire hunter?
You were the one
who told me
Bunnicula's bite would
turn me in the first place.
I know,
you and I were playing,
right?
But, man,
would it have killed you
to bite me at least once?
Next time, you gotta be
the vampire hunter.
I wasn't playing!
I've been manipulated
by a certain you-know-who.
-(PANTING)
-CHESTER: Bunnicula!
You've finally gone
too far this time!
You did something
to make me a vampire
and then you took it away,
-and it almost
got me pulverized.
-Hey, Bunnic.
(GROWLING)
Hey, Bunnic.
Ahhh!
Huh? I didn't do anything.
He swears he never
did anything to you.
Wait, so if he didn't know
what his bites would do,
then how are you
the only person
that knew his bites
had no effect.
That's a good question.
(GASPS) Oh, yeah.
Bunnicula always
grinds his teeth in his sleep,
usually on my toes.
(CHUCKLES)
Totally slipped my mind.
Whoopsies.
This is insane.
I did not convince myself
all on my own
that I was a real vampire.
I'm not delusional
and I'm not paranoid!
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I need some sleep.
My internal clock
is all messed up,
thanks to you two.
Yeah, you seem like
you need a little nap.
-Nighty night.
-Good night.
Don't let the bed bugs bite.
(ECHOING) Bed bugs bite.
Bed bugs bite. Bed bugs bite.
Bite, bite, bite, bite