DuckTales (2017) s01e21 Episode Script

1 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING.]
Huh? Remember, lads, no sudden movements, no eye contact.
If you're cornered, the heartless heathens will give you no quarter.
This does not sound like a fun trip.
Misty moors, vague warnings.
Sneaking out behind Uncle Donald's back? Can you please just tell us where we're going? The less you know, the better.
Wow, that's a good one! Aah! How long have you been there watching me? 25, 30 minutes.
You still haven't told your brothers what we found out about your mom? Tell them what exactly? She took the Spear of Selene? We have no idea what that means.
We don't even know what it looks like.
Why get them in a panic when this could all be a dead end? Because honesty? Mmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
- Why do you always do that? - Do what? Whenever you want to ignore something, you stare into the distance and pretend you're thinking.
I'm trying to protect my brothers from finding out something that could upset them.
And keeping an earth-shattering secret from them that could destroy your brotherhood wouldn't upset them? Mmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
- [SIGHS.]
- [BRAKES SCREECH, CRASH.]
- Yaah! [LAUNCHPAD.]
Found it! Launchpad, hide the jeep in the moors.
Every five years, the mists of Dismal Downs part enough to reveal the home of the Lost Treasure of the Knights Templar.
Brace yourselves, kids.
Primordial menace lurks here.
The most treacherous terror I've ever faced.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Oi! Jettison that jalopy from my driveway this instant, you deadbeat! Daddy? Mummy? Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Race cars, lasers, airplanes It's a duck-blur We might solve a mystery Or rewrite history Ducktales, whoo-ooh Every day they're out there making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of derring-do Bad and good-luck tales Whoo-ooh D-d-danger lurks behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab on to some Ducktales Whoo-ooh Every day they're out there Making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of daring bad and good Not phony tales or cottontails - No, Ducktales! - Whoo-ooh! [GROANS.]
Scroogey! - [KISSING.]
- [SCROOGE GROANING.]
Son.
Oh, look at ya wee bairns! Finally I get to meet ya! Whoa! No, fine! I'm good! Thank you, though! Uhh! Welcome, all of you, to Castle McDuck! Your parents are alive?! I can't believe you're still alive.
He put a curse on us.
That is not fair! I very kindly rebuilt our ancestral castle for them.
And I may have used some discount mystical Druid stones that accidentally granted them immortality.
I didn't know it would buy me and eternity's worth of criticism.
So he admits he wants to be rid of us.
Uch! Would you rather I'd let you pass or made you immortal? Neither is satisfactory.
A thoughtful son would know that.
[GROWLS.]
So this is the actual home of Clan McDuck? Indeed child.
Within these walls, lies the secrets and mysteries of all your ancestors.
Webby, there's gotta be something about my mom here! Everything McDuck Mysteries, secrets untold! Oooh-wheee! [GIGGLING.]
Uh-oh! She's having a joy overload! - [SCROOGE GROWLING.]
- [FERGUS MUTTERING.]
[GROWLS AND MUTTERS.]
Mmm! - [GROWLS.]
- Hmph! We didn't know where to send your birthday gifts all these years with you gallivanting about.
Eh thanks, Mummy.
But I'm not just traveling.
I'm a seasoned adventurer, seeking fortune and Sorry.
Hi.
Louie Duck, future owner of this castle.
The Templar Treasure, like, can I have it now, or do I have to wait to inherit it or? Ah, so Scrooge mentioned Simon's treasure, but didn't mention his dear old parents, huh? - Simon? - Simon McDuck was the accountant to the legendary Knights Templar.
He hid their treasure somewhere in this castle.
Typical Scrooge! Only coming around looking for a handout.
Heh heh heh heh.
Only the Laird of the castle knows where the Templar Treasure is, and the Laird won't tell me where it is unless I'm worthy.
Hmm! So we have to be on our best behavior.
Quit mentioning the treasure and act like we want to be here.
Ha ha! Whaaa! So, uh, this place has info on all of our relatives? Oh, aye.
There's Fergus's father, Dirty Dingus McDuck.
[STIFLED LAUGHTER.]
The ghosts of Clan McDuck loom large here.
This belonged to Murdoch McDuck, first to patent the longbow.
Murdoch made a fortune selling his bows to the English army.
Of course, he charged extra for the arrows.
[LAUGHS.]
Sir Swamphole McDuck was obsessed with hoarding treasure.
Sound familiar? So he built a mysterious series of tunnels under the castle to keep the family fortune.
Some say he summoned a demon dog to stalk the catacombs.
[MOANING WITH EXCITEMENT.]
Oh, they're just stories, maybe, probably.
Oh, and look here! Little Scroogey and Whiskers! Whiskers? Little Scroogey always wanted a dog, but we were too poor, so we all pitched in to buy a clump of hair from the local barber.
Oh! How Scroogey loved his Whiskers! Aye.
And who ended up having to walk him and feed him? It was a ball of hair! How dare you talk about Whiskers like that?! He was family! Curse me kilts! Don't you curse in front of your mother! I'm not a child anymore! Then stop acting like one! Arm wrestling match! You and me, right now! [CRACK.]
Fergus didn't mean anything by that headlock, Scroogey.
You know family means everything to him.
Oh, young Scrooge! Brooding teenage Scrooge! A baby Scrooge! See you at dinner! [GROWLING.]
If it's family Daddy wants, it's family he'll get.
That'll prove I'm worthy.
Steel yourself, Webby! We are gonna have a pleasant family dinner.
[LAUGHTER.]
[HUEY.]
Uncle Donald?! What? "If borrowed crown is what you seek, then venture below and follow your beak.
" Huh.
Crown.
Like a king's crown? Or a crown like oldsy-timesy money.
This could lead to the Knights Templar treasure! "To ensure the arrow miss its mark, pluck a ditty on an arc.
" [DOWNEY.]
Boys?! Stall her.
I'll fix the painting.
This cold castle air's made Huey's face numb.
I don't suppose you'd want to pinch his cheeks? - [GASPS.]
- [LAUGHING.]
[BEEPS.]
This is Mom's handwriting.
This riddle could be the key to finding her.
I gotta solve it before they do to make sure it's nothing bad.
Oh, mmm.
All right, let's solve a mystery! Just because there's a weird riddle in a mystical castle doesn't mean there's a mystery.
- I see what you're doin'.
- You do? Tryin' to get the jump on us, grab the treasure for yourself? You're hidin' somethin', aren't you? Mmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mmm.
Come on! We're in this together! The Duck Boys solving a huge family secret! Oh, uh Uh - [CLANK.]
- Race you! "Pluck a ditty on an arc.
" Murdoch's longbow! Dewey! You passed the first clue! Huh? I knew that! Hmmm.
Some letters are capitalized.
B, A, G.
Are these musical notes? [PLAYING NOTES.]
[SCRAPING.]
Ah, first chair cello, Junior Woodchuck Philharmonic Orchestra.
It's too narrow for all three of us.
Oh, bummer! Or we could just go single file.
Stupid smart Huey.
[SCRAPING, THUD.]
[GROWLING.]
This must be one of Swamphole's crazy tunnels.
Guys, this could be dangerous or boring.
You should totally go back.
It's really not worth the risk.
That is the least Dewey thing you've ever said! This is great, Mummy.
Family sitting, sharing a hot kidney pie.
These are the kind of values I try to instill in my own family.
Warm memories, togetherness.
Then where are the boys? Oh, probably off being supportive of each other.
[ALL GRUNTING.]
- No, stop it! - Get off of me! Well, Webby here is one of the most articulate young lasses, and she is not here.
I, uh.
Hmmm, oh [LOUD SOB.]
Aye, you're a real family man, aren't ya? I will have you know Hmm.
Brring brring.
Oh! Um, oh, uh! Hello? What? Oh, you're here in Dismal Downs! Oh, what a surprise! Of course, I'll be right out.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Mummy, Daddy, say hello to your great-nephew and my beloved ward Donald! Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy! Quack! [SQUEAKING.]
"Penetrate the door bifold" "with only the purest key of gold.
" Where are we gonna find Whoa! Oh, man! How we gonna find one gold key in all this? Well, good try, everyone.
You should head back.
Way to go.
- [KEYS CLANKING.]
- Found it! Real gold weighs more than fool's gold, so you just search the bottom of the pile.
You know, check the luster and the karat quality, and, boom, pure gold key.
What? You like nerd stuff.
I like gold.
Come on.
How am I supposed to protect them from the truth if they keep helping me find it? [GHOSTLY MOANING.]
[LAUNCHPAD GOBBLING.]
Looking a little beefier, Donald.
Eating a lot these days, are you? Oh, yeah.
Thanks to Mister Er, Uncle McDee.
He's a saint.
Took me and the boys in.
Even let Donald me park his my houseboat in the pool.
He's a real family man, or my name isn't Launchpad Mc Donald Duck.
Quack? [GROANING.]
Ehhh Oh, no! [IMITATING DONALD'S TANTRUMS.]
Why I oughta! Oh! There he is! [LAUNCHPAD.]
Quack! Quack! Quack! - [RELIEVED SIGH.]
- Oh, quack quack! Poor lad.
Of course you're confused.
Living like an animal in Scrooge's yard.
For shame.
I take great care of my family.
You avoid us like the plague! Oh, come now, that's unfair to the plague! That's it! Go to your room! I never lived here! Then pick the one furthest away from my line of sight! Fine by me! More sheep's bladder? Mmm yes.
Oh, that man! Money, success, family, it's never enough! He'll never help me find the blasted treasure! [MOANING INCOHERENTLY.]
You're right.
He never helped me before.
Why start now? I'm Scrooge McDuck! I did everything else on my own! I'll find that treasure on my own! Good talk, Webby.
[HIGH-PITCHED BABBLING.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[GASPS.]
The Crypt of Clan McDuck! The final resting place of all our ancestors! But how do we know which is the right tomb? [LOUIE.]
Uh, I may have found a clue.
Has Uncle Donald been a ghost this whole time? No.
He gets hurt way too often to be a ghost.
Wait.
The riddle was hidden on a portrait of Uncle Donald.
Which means it was meant for him.
"Face your fate, confront your doom.
" They wanted Uncle Donald to find his own grave! That is messed up.
So what's in there? Could be the treasure! Uh-huh Uh! W-w-wait! Wait wait wait! I mean, what if there's something or someone we don't want to find? Louie, Louie, aren't you scared? Eh, greed beats fear every time.
[GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
Oh! Oh! It's empty.
Just a beat-up old bag.
- [HOWLING.]
- [DEWEY GASPS.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING.]
[GROWLING.]
[DEWEY.]
Aah! The Demon Dog of Castle McDuck! - [SCREAMING.]
- [BARKING.]
- [POUNDING.]
- [BARKING.]
Aaah! We need a distraction! Hey, give it back! Louie, hold the door open! I'll set the scarf on fire and throw it out as a decoy! Uhh No! You can't! What is wrong with you?! Why are you being super weird?! This is a bad time to be weird! [GROWLING.]
Because it belongs to Mom! Moldy old codger says I don't care about family! He walked Whiskers, but who loved Whiskers? - [HOLLOW THUD.]
- [GASPS.]
Secret passage in the hallway.
Nice try, Daddy! [SCRAPING.]
- Aah! - I told you to stay in your room.
I don't care what you have to say! Well, I won't tell you where the Templar Treasure is then.
I've never needed your help before, and I don't need it nooow! - [THUD.]
- [SIGHS.]
Kids.
Hmph! [BARKING.]
- Aah! - Aah! [PANTING.]
- [DOG SNARLS.]
- [THUD.]
How do you know this is Mom's? I've, uh, kind of been researching her on my own.
A little.
I mean, I just searched a forbidden library, crashed the Sunchaser, talked to the goddess Selene.
Okay.
You know, hearing it out loud, it comes off way worse than it sounded in my brain.
How could you keep this from us? I was trying to protect you from a potentially devastating revelation.
- [WOOD SPLINTERS.]
- [BARKING.]
Or you just kept it to yourself so you can feel special.
Classic Dewey! She's our Mom! Okay, it's just first I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to get hurt.
Then I couldn't tell you because I found out all this stuff and I didn't want you to hurt me.
I'm sorry, okay? You're only sorry 'cause you got caught! [BARKING AND POUNDING STOPS.]
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING.]
Louie, are you okay? You kept a secret about Mom.
That is not okay.
[BARKING AND POUNDING RESUMES.]
- Aah! - [GROWLING.]
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[ALL SCREAMING.]
This way! [ALL SHOUTING.]
Would you wait up, lad? My legs aren't so young anymore.
Aha! If I'm right, under this moss is the tip of a Templar insignia.
[SCRAPING.]
No! You have to go against the moss.
Just stop! I don't need you! Everything I earned, I earned through my own hard work.
You never gave me anything! I gave you that.
[GROANS.]
My Number One Dime? Burt the ditch digger gave it to me.
Back in my shoeshine days, I worked for hours on Burt's boots.
He paid me with an American dime.
Who do you think gave him the dime? What? [FERGUS.]
Aye, I muddied his boots.
And sent him your way.
Wait.
What?! But why? We were poor.
I couldn't provide for you myself, so I had to give you a different gift Self-reliance, teaching you to work hard and fend for yourself so that you'd become the man you are now.
But you learned that lesson so well, we hardly saw you again.
If I'm hard on you, lad, it's 'cause I miss you is all.
Oh, Daddy, I miss you, too.
- [RUMBLING.]
- [SCROOGE.]
Hmm? - Hmm! - [GASPS.]
What? Let's finally open it together, eh? [BOTH.]
Bless me bagpipes.
"Dear Fergus, lookin' for a handout? Nice try, you lazy loafer.
Keep searchin' for the treasure, sonny.
Maybe you'll actually learn how to save money if you have to earn it.
Your Da, Dirty Dingus.
" Loafer? This was a decoy the whole time! I cannae win with that old codger! [GRUNTING.]
Huey! Louie! Where are you?! - [DOG BARKING.]
- I should have told you! I'm sorry! I need your help! [PANTING.]
[DOG BARKING.]
- [PANTING.]
- [BARKING.]
[THUD.]
[GHOSTLY MOANING.]
[PANTING.]
[BABBLING.]
[STRAINING.]
[GRUNTING.]
- [DOG GROWLING.]
- Aah! [WHIMPERING.]
- Aah! - Scram! - Shoo! - Back up! Back up, you dog! Not food! We're not food! Back up! You came back! We're the Duck Boys! Good or bad, whatever we do, we do it together! [BARKS.]
[ALL GROWLING.]
- [GROWLING AND BARKING.]
- [ALL.]
Yaah! [YELPING.]
Duck Family victorious! It worked?! It worked! We gotta start doin' that all the time! Ach, forget the treasure.
Who needs treasure when we've got each other? [LAUGHING.]
Please! We're McDucks! But what say next time I come back, we find it together? You got yourself a deal, Scroogey.
Uncle Donald's hat.
That must be the borrowed crown from the riddle! So Mom took his hat, hid it, and the elaborate riddles in the catacombs and the deadly Demon Dog were Were all just an elaborate prank on Uncle Donald? I should have told you from the beginning.
Good or bad, we're all in this together.
Well, I guess we're all starting from scratch.
Wait.
Did you rub a pencil over this? Buh? Have I taught you nothing? Junior Woodchuck Rule 217 Rub all documents with a pencil.
[GASPS.]
The Spear of Selene! Now we know what it looks like! Is that a date circled? [HUEY.]
April 15, 20 Guys, this is the week we were born! What does that mean? We'll find out together.
Oh, man, I gotta tell Webby! Ooh! By the way, Webby knows, too.
- Come on! - Dude! Sorry.
Total honesty from here on out.
Mmm! - Mmm! - Mmm! Now, are you sure there's nothing I can give you? Maybe some original family photographs or a leather-bound volume of McDuck history.
I'm probably just gonna throw most of it away anyway.
I Words Can't Ahh! [DOWNEY.]
Well, goodbye then.
See you all in five years.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
Who built this castle?! What was Scrooge like as a kid?! What was his favorite color, game, song, food?! Who designed the McDuck tartan?! Who was Nooooo!