Gilmore Girls s01e21 Episode Script

Previously on Gilmore Girls I'm Dean.
- Max Medina.
- Nice to meet you.
You had a desperate need for cornstarch? I have very important thickening needs.
- I'd like to see you sometime.
- Are you asking me out on a date? I got kissed, and I shoplifted.
At some point in your life, you have to decide that some guy is worth opening that front door for.
- Rory - Yeah.
I love you.
We just broke up.
Maybe we need to take a little time away from each other.
I'm planning on despising everyone who says, 'Hey, how's it going?' You're on.
- Hey, how's it going? - Rachel.
Your Rachel? You're Rachel? - Is she staying? - I don't know.
- Do you want her to? - I don't know.
I'd hate to think that I raised a kid who couldn't say 'I love you.
' I really miss you.
Dear God Almighty Mr.
Mirkle! - Hey! - What? - You are not sleeping through this.
- Through what? The freaking Blue Man Group is outside our house! - I was sleeping through it.
- It had to have woken you up.
No, my insane mother, Margot Kidder Gilmore, woke me up.
- How are you today? - Good.
How are you? Good.
What are you doing? - Fixing your porch rail.
- That's right.
You are.
You're fixing my porch rail at 6:30 in the morning! - It was the only time I could do it.
- Why? It was broken.
I noticed last time I was here.
- It could hurt somebody.
- Luke, we sleep around here, okay? We like it.
It makes us pretty and keeps us from killing our crazy friends! You're gonna wake the neighbors.
Could you pound one more thing while you're out here? Your head! And a 'for sale' sign on the lawn, 'cause we're moving.
So that's two things: The sign and your head.
And in that order 'cause otherwise you'll be too dizzy to do the sign thing! Shoot! - You're locked out? - You don't exist.
You shouldn't have closed the door.
Lorelai, sugar! You're waking up the entire neighborhood.
Please! Excuse me! - I am officially annoyed.
- Well, don't blame me.
Blame - He was right here.
- Yeah, I know.
Get her back to bed, doll.
- He was banging on the - I know.
It was something on the porch.
It was broken.
I'm not crazy.
- He was banging on something.
- I know.
- Michel, get that, please.
- I cannot.
We've been over this.
We all cover the phone.
That includes you.
Don't misunderstand.
I wanted to answer it, I truly did.
But today, I'm suffering from ennui.
- Ennui? - Severe ennui.
You know what ennui is, yes? Yes, Webster's defines ennui as a lazy, soon-to-be-out-of-work French concierge - who won't answer the phone.
- I've made my peace with the fact that everyone who calls here is a notch above brain dead.
And that the pennies I am thrown each week are in exchange for me dealing with these people in a nonviolent manner.
And usually that is fine, but today, sorry, lady, I have ennui.
So, you're sleepy? - It's a metaphysical angst.
- So you want to go beddy-bye? - You make light, it increases my ennui.
- Okay, that's it.
Come on, you need coffee.
I need coffee, extra strong.
Double caf, triple caf.
No, forget the caf.
Throw in the whole cow, and serve it to this man right here.
What's wrong with you? I don't know.
It might sound a little weird, but I think I've got ennui.
You explained ennui to her.
She asked me what was wrong with me, so I told her.
Michel, you know that Sookie ends up thinking she's coming down with whatever illness other people have.
No! No? What was that conversation last week when I had to convince you, you didn't have a prostate? How is Al? - Hello? - Is this a bad time? For the hotel industry, but not for you.
I've only got a second, but I wanted to say hi.
- Thank you for last night.
- It was a good night.
Several novels will be written about it.
I say we do it again, and next time, I'll be the gypsy queen.
The more I see you, the more I want to see you.
- Same here.
- It's like a vicious circle.
- It's an achy feeling.
- Like withdrawal pains.
Totally distracting.
And completely wonderful.
I gotta go.
- No, don't.
- Okay.
I gotta go.
- Don't.
- Okay.
This would be another example of a vicious circle.
- So we should both go.
- We definitely should.
- So - Hang up.
- No, you hang up.
- Vicious circle.
Bye.
You look happy.
What's the opposite of ennui? Off-ui.
Hey, I'm cured! I had the weirdest dream last night.
We were in our house, but it wasn't our house.
- It was a Kentucky Fried Chicken.
- I'm hooked.
I had to get dressed, but my clothes were in the back.
And the guy manning the giant oil vat would not let me through.
Oh, my God! That's so weird! When you said 'oil vat,' that reminded me, I had this dream last night.
We were swimming in a pool, only it wasn't water.
It was oil or honey or something.
- Hey.
- What? - You totally did the thing.
- What thing? Where one person is describing their dream it reminds the other about theirs and suddenly it's all about their dream.
The first person is standing there like, 'What about my dream?' I'm sorry.
The oil-vat guy was mean.
Yes, and we knew him.
He used to live in town.
That guy who used to run the auto body shop before Maybin Hewes bought it.
Remember him? Of course you do.
He was really skinny.
- Peter Stringbean? - No.
That was the tall circus-freaky guy who worked for him.
- This was the owner.
What was his name? - I don't know.
Yes, you do.
Come on.
It's gonna bug me all day.
He was short and fat and his name was - Johnny McShort-and-Fat? - Don't mock.
Who was the guy who used to run the auto body shop? - That Stretch Cunningham guy? - No, the Dick Tracy guy.
Big, always had a half-smoked cigar in his mouth? Yes.
What was his name? - It was Jim something-or-other.
- Had an 'ing' at the end.
- Yes, Banning.
- Lanning.
- Dunning.
- That's it.
Hey, Jim Dunning was the Dick Tracy guy.
Jim Dunning, that's the Dick Tracy guy.
The Dean box.
Okay.
I know I was supposed to throw it away but I couldn't.
I mean, you're young, and your head's all weird and you don't have any perspective because of that whole young, weird-headed thing.
So please listen to me before you get mad.
You're gonna want that stuff one day when you're old and married and looking back and thinking: 'I certainly had an interesting life.
' And then you can pull out all your old-boyfriend boxes, which is good because I threw away stuff I'd kill to have today.
Look, I put it in with the Max box so they could chat and keep each other company and commiserate about how they had a Gilmore girl and lost a Gilmore girl.
Sorry.
Thanks.
What I wanted to say was: 'Janie Fertman, you are a vacuous bimbo 'who'll turn letters as a profession one day.
'And you'll know which one to turn only when it dings and lights up.
'I have no desire to stop and talk to you ever.
' But what I said was, 'What, Janie?' And then she goes, 'You're cheerleader material.
' Just like that! I couldn't believe it.
I almost went full matrix on her.
- Have you heard a word I've said? - Nope.
I resent that.
I'm a witty conversationalist.
What? - I'm going in.
- You can't.
- I'm going in.
- It's Thursday afternoon.
- I know.
- He works on Thursday afternoons.
- We're talking you-know-who.
- I know.
- Oh, my God! - Calm down.
- You're making a spectacle.
- You're getting back with Dean! If you keep jumping like that I'll videotape it and send it as your cheerleader audition.
- When did this happen? - Nothing's happened.
I don't even know what I'm doing exactly.
Or what he's thinking or whether he's burned all my letters and pictures or hates me or what.
But I'm going in.
I so encourage this.
I love you.
But you've been mopey, dopey and about 12 other melancholy dwarves, for the past five weeks.
- I miss the old Rory.
- I miss the old me, too.
- I've been feeling bad for the new Rory.
- She's staging a comeback.
May it be more successful than Peter Frampton's.
- Wish me luck.
- Luck.
- Rory? - Taylor, you scared me.
What are you doing? You're walking around like - Like what? - Dare I say, like a shoplifter.
I'm not here to shoplift.
- You fit four of the eight characteristics.
- I do? You're alone.
You look nervous.
You're meandering in an aimless fashion.
- And you're wearing a baggy coat.
- I tend to run cold.
So, what are you here for? I'm looking for your checkout boy.
I had a question, and I didn't want to bother you.
He's stacking on 6.
Over here, please.
Mikey, this is Miss Gilmore.
She needs some help.
Take care, Rory.
Watch her.
Yeah? I was just wondering, do you like working here? What? I mean, do you enjoy the whole box-boy trade as a profession? - No.
- Okay, good.
So, I'm just gonna cross that off my list.
Thank you for your time.
- Well? - He's not there.
But he always works Thursdays.
I guess he's taking Thursday afternoons off now.
- That's not good.
- How's that not good? - That means he's moved on.
- What are you talking about? He's met one of those Thursday-afternoon girls.
What's a Thursday-afternoon girl? They're slutty girls that get guys to switch their Thursday afternoons with another checkout guy so they can go do slutty Thursday-afternoon things.
You're reading too much into this.
- I shouldn't have gone in.
- It was good to go in.
Taylor thinks I'm casing the place.
Like I'd shoplift there.
You have shoplifted there.
I'm gonna ask you a question.
I want you to be more honest than you've ever been.
Have you ever seen him with another girl at school? No! - You'd tell me, right? - Yes.
I wouldn't because it would break your heart.
But I haven't.
You swear on the life of the lead singer of Blur? On the soul of Nico, I swear to you that I have not seen Dean with another girl.
Okay.
- He's miserable.
- Fine.
- Suicidal.
- Good.
- And in desperate need of a haircut.
- Thank you.
- You should decorate this thing.
- I did.
With something other than a bunch of dead, black and white women.
- What, like curtains? - You know what I mean.
I did mine up.
I saw that.
The naked picture of the Siamese twins is particularly classy.
- You know what these are? - They look like tickets.
To P.
J.
Harvey.
You have good taste.
I'll give you that.
You're into P.
J.
Harvey, right? - Yeah.
How'd you know? - I'm all-knowing.
- How godlike of you.
- One of these is for you.
I don't think we should go to a concert together.
- Reason? - It would seem like a date.
It would seem like a date because it would be a date.
- I can't date you, Tristan.
- I give you permission.
And on that humble note Rory, favor, big one.
- Look at the face.
- Sure.
What? Can I get your Biology notes from Tuesday? I was out.
- To lunch.
- Please.
I have them at home.
I can bring them later.
- Thank you.
- One more, and you're done.
So, I've decided I'm now completely into Judy Garland.
Did you see the TV movie? Pretty intense.
I think they used my mother's medicine cabinet.
She was Courtney Love of her day.
Show me a trend, I'll show you Madeline.
- Judy Garland is trendy? - Completely.
She's neo-addict retro chic.
No one tells me these things.
What are those? - P.
J.
Harvey tickets.
- Really? - Who are you going with? - Rory.
- What? Rory's going out with you? - Yes, she is.
- I didn't think she liked him.
- Neither did I.
Do you think she's mad? What are you two waiting for, a tram? Let's move.
Oh, yeah.
She's mad.
Flutter.
Quick.
And your hearts are broken.
Your prince has betrayed you.
You've been shot with an arrow and now, you're dead.
Hi, Patty.
- Lorelai.
- Hey, Rachel.
- Have you seen Luke around? - He's probably at the diner.
He was supposed to be at the diner, but he's not.
We were supposed to meet for lunch, but he didn't show.
- Again.
I made tuna.
- Nice.
He comes back upstairs for a little break between lunch and dinner.
But recently, he's been Other places, your place, actually.
- Rachel, he's just fixing some things.
- I know.
The porch rail, a couple roof shingles, then the porch rail again after he fell off the roof onto the porch rail.
- Yeah, he's been telling me.
- Good.
Look, if you see him, could you tell him to just - I don't know, check in? - Yes.
Will do.
Thanks.
Bye.
Hello? - Hold it right there! - It's only me.
- You scared me half to death! - Who'd you think it was? I don't know! I heard thudding upstairs and Rory weighs, like, 10 ounces.
It either had be an escaped elephant or some strange, large man who should not be in the house.
How did you get in here? - Through the back door.
- The back door's locked.
That's why I came.
The back door lock was broken.
- It was fine.
- It was cheap.
The back door lock came with the house.
It's been fine.
It's the kind of lock burglars look for.
- Why do they look for it? - It's easy to break into.
I proved that.
- You proved that by - Breaking in.
- Oh, my God! - It's the only way I could get in.
You have crossed over into the dark side, Luke.
It's not that big a deal.
- You broke into my house! - I'm gonna fix it.
- Step away from that lock.
- What? Get off.
Come, sit down.
You have almost no free time with your work at the diner.
And lately, every spare moment has been spent - not with Rachel.
- That's not true.
She was looking for you, she didn't know where you were.
- I'm not hiding from her.
- I didn't say that.
You were implying it.
Someone's sensitive about the accusation.
- I think I'm hiding.
- I think you are, too.
It's just a little weird having her in my place.
- I thought that's what you wanted.
- It was Is.
I'm just I've just been living alone since Forever.
And I got used to putting the milk someplace in the fridge and finding it in the exact same spot, you know what I mean.
- We don't keep milk in the house.
- Then, cookies.
- Cookies never make it out of the car.
- You know what I mean.
Maybe you can train Rachel to use a magic marker to mark the milk exactly where you left it.
It's not just about milk.
I'm not used to someone expecting me.
- Expecting you to - Come home, do things, be with her.
Most people would kill to have that in their lives.
I know.
But I'm different.
I'm a loner.
I don't want to hear about the romance of being a loner.
Some guys are just naturally loners.
- Yes, lonely guys.
- Independent guys.
- Sad guys.
- Maverick guys.
- Lee Harvey Oswald.
- John Muir.
- The Unabomber.
- Henry David Thoreau.
Every one of these, sad and lonely guys.
It's not what I thought it would be like having Rachel back.
It's not the fantasy I was toting around all these years.
Life is not a fantasy.
Maybe you have to lower your expectation bar a little bit.
So you're saying that life is just settling for whatever comes along? You think having Rachel is settling? No, I didn't mean that.
Rachel's great.
And she's crazy about you.
If her worst trait is she's a milk whore, you have it pretty good.
And you just need to give this situation a fair chance.
I know.
And that starts with ceasing work on the Winchester Mystery House here.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
How are you today? - Fine.
- Good.
Are you here to see my brother? No, not at all.
I'm with the Girl Scouts.
I'm gonna be a Girl Scout someday.
I'm a Brownie now.
Good.
That's an excellent stepping stone.
Where's your uniform? We don't do uniforms anymore.
We're trying to blend in, relate better to the average person.
It was a very successful strategy for the Hare Krishnas.
- You look like someone.
- I do? You're the girl in the pictures.
- What pictures? - The ones Dean has in his room.
Dean has pictures in his room? There's a funny one of you sticking out your tongue.
He had a lot.
- Wait, has or had? - What? You went from 'has' to 'had': A big difference.
- It is? - Yeah.
- What's your name? - Clara.
- You're a pretty girl, Clara.
- Thanks.
- Now, is it has or had? - I don't know.
You do know.
'Had' is past-tense, 'has' is present.
Now think.
- I'm trying.
- Can you go to his room now? - He doesn't like me there.
- Sneak in, he'll never know.
Oh, no, Clara, don't cry.
I didn't mean to make you cry.
I'm a nice person.
I'm a Girl Scout.
- Clara.
- Bye.
- What's the matter? - She scared me.
- Who? - The Girl Scout.
We've got food, drink, reading material chocolate-covered espresso beans.
Have I left anything out? - That about covers it.
- You're such a good provider.
- I try my best.
- Sure you want to go to this thing? You're always talking about these town meetings.
I've to see one for myself.
- They're never dull.
- Lf you're lucky, you'll see a crazy lady throwing French fries at those she disagrees with.
Like last time.
- So, were they cold? - No, I was just full.
I forgot.
One for you - and one for you.
- What are these? Those are rings, and the diamonds are actually candy so you can eat it.
Max, that's very sweet, but we're not eight.
- What do you got? - Grape.
Yours? - Red.
- Trade you.
Enough of this arguing.
It's time to put this to a vote.
All right, now, let's see a show of hands.
All those in favor? Rats, it started already.
All those opposed? Lorelai, you don't even know what we're voting on.
Yeah, but I'm agin it! All right, the nays have it.
Let the record reflect it.
Lorelai, I hope that's not food in those bags.
Food is not allowed at town meetings.
No, Taylor, it's diapers for the little ones.
- The what? - Dorsal fins and Cucamonga.
What did she say? I confuse him till he loses his train of thought.
Then he moves on.
I'd like to open the meeting up for miscellaneous issues.
- I have an issue.
- Who are you? - The town troubadour.
- The what? You've seen him, Taylor, with his guitar.
Right, the guitar.
He plays on all the street corners.
He loiters on street corners.
- We are two peas in a pod.
- Scary thought, Taylor.
- Go on, honey.
- Thank you.
I've been the town troubadour for six months now and I think I've done a pretty good job.
And then he shows up.
There's no room for a second troubadour in Stars Hollow.
Clearly.
This is the silliest thing I have ever heard.
Hear them out.
It can't hurt.
These are not fries.
They are Fahrvenugen Soogan Dugan.
I opened the floor for issues of substance.
This does not qualify.
Don't be uncool, Taylor.
Music is substance.
Watch out, Morey.
After that anatomically explicit epithet your wife yelled at me earlier you're both on probation.
All I'm asking is that the town troubadour laws be enforced.
There are no town troubadour laws.
There ought to be something.
I've got the town handbook right here.
I don't get this, people.
This man is practically a vagrant.
Where do you even live? What do you do for a living? - I don't want people to know those things.
- Why not? - That's part of being a troubadour.
- What is part of being a troubadour? The mystique.
This is absolutely ridiculous! Do you subscribe to this troubadour mystique? I run a Kinko's in Groton.
You see? That proves it.
He doesn't respect the code.
You're not supposed to talk, you're not supposed to run a Kinko's.
You are supposed to speak through your music.
That's the whole point.
- What is your scam, buddy? - My scam? If you are using the fine people of Stars Hollow to make a quick buck No, Taylor, he doesn't accept money.
I know, I tried.
He may not now, but he will.
This troubadour act is a money-making scheme.
Why else would he be doing it? Sometimes you have something to say, but you can't because the words won't come out, or you get scared, or feel stupid.
So, if you could write a song and sing it, then you could say what you need to.
It would be beautiful, and people would listen and you wouldn't make a complete idiot out of yourself.
But all of us can't be songwriters.
So some of us will never be able to say what we're thinking or what we want others to know we're thinking.
So we'll never get the chance to make things right again, ever.
So, give this guy a license.
I liked that little speech.
That's the Girl Scout.
In the interest of not talking on this subject for another second I hereby designate mystique guy over here the official town troubadour.
And no other troubadour may usurp his territory meaning this other guy.
Do you want some fries? We have extra.
No, Rachel's minding the store, so I should probably get going.
- Yeah, I agree.
- I knew you would.
You're back.
Yeah, there's nothing much pressing at the town meeting.
Okay, the bread shipment's all put away and I sent Caesar home since it was pretty dead.
- Good call.
- Thanks.
So you're leaving? - Yeah.
- Were you even gonna tell me? I was waiting for you to get back, so I could say goodbye.
Yeah, you at least always do that.
So, go.
Don't you even want to know why? - I know why.
- I don't think you do.
It's just like all the other times, Rachel.
You're the 'anywhere but here' girl.
You're restless, you're bored.
- It is what it is.
- That's not it.
Then what is it? Is there another guy? - No.
- Then what? It's another girl.
What? You're telling me The other girl isn't for me, Luke, it's for you.
Now, that's crazy.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
You feel you need a different excuse this time, to mix things up a little.
Fine.
- But you are not leaving because of me.
- I'm sure you tried, Luke.
But admit it.
Your heart wasn't in it.
My heart was in it.
I was here.
I didn't leave.
I don't get this.
What're you talking about? Another girl? What other girl? Rachel, no.
You don't mean She and I are just friends.
I told you that a thousand times.
No.
You told it to me once.
And you could barely get it out then.
This is crazy.
You've got it wrong here.
It's not She and I are I'm gonna go.
I'll miss you.
Stay in touch.
Rachel, come on.
So don't wait too long, okay? To what? To tell her.
Madeline, I got the notes you wanted.
- No, thanks.
- These are the ones you asked for.
- The Biology notes from Tuesday.
- No, thanks.
- What's wrong with her? - Nothing's wrong with her, Mary.
Mary? Oh, no, not this Virgin Mary thing again.
Not virgin.
Typhoid.
What? When we met at the beginning of the year I didn't like you.
I thought you were some rube from the sticks.
- I've no patience for rubes.
- How enlightening.
But then I discovered that you're not so dumb.
You even seemed modestly interesting at times.
That's when I made a very big mistake.
I let my guard down.
That won't happen again.
- What is this about? - It's about using people for your own ends.
About making enemies where you should've made friends.
- How did I make you my enemy? - I think you know.
Was it setting you up with Tristan? I'm sorry about that.
- I thought I was just being nice.
- Sure you did.
I helped you get ready.
I loaned you my mother's clothes - which I still haven't got back.
- My God, you're right.
Hope Skippy didn't have her puppies on them.
I'll check when I'm home.
Tell me what I did.
- Paris! - Think about it at P.
J.
Harvey.
Is that what this is about? I'm not going to P.
J.
Harvey.
- Tristan says you are.
- Then he lied.
- I saw the tickets.
- He bought them on his own.
I'm over Tristan.
Don't back out on my account.
There's nothing to back out of.
I don't have time for concerts anyway.
I'm lining up my extracurriculars for next year.
By the way, are you still going out for the school paper? You know, I am.
- You'll need a faculty recommendation.
- I can swing it.
- And the student editor's support.
- I'm not worried.
Worry.
I just got the job.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
And don't worry.
You'll have some role.
How's covering the new parking lot landscaping sound? Peachy.
Too bad I already filled the slot for music coverage.
Record reviewing and such.
You'd have been perfect for it.
I gave the job to Louise.
Louise owns two CDs.
Yeah.
Well, got to go.
Have a really good summer.
You're annoyingly on time again! Okay.
Stairs, then shoes.
- You're all dressed up.
- I'm going out.
Sorry.
I forgot my toolbox, so I just thought I'd come pick it up.
Yeah, it's right over here.
We couldn't lift it or we'd have brought it to you.
Then we got used to having it here, so we named it Bert.
We'd say, 'Good night, Bert,' and it'd say, 'Good night, girls.
' We spend too much time home alone.
- Thanks for taking care of him.
- Our pleasure.
So, Rachel left.
- What? - Last night she left for good.
Oh, no, Luke, I'm so sorry.
- What happened? - It's hard to explain.
I can't believe it.
I thought she was in it for the long haul this time.
Yeah, well, she had her reasons.
Really? What? Hello.
I tried to be late.
And an utter failure at one minute past.
Max Medina, this is Luke Danes.
Luke owns the diner.
He has the greatest coffee.
- Right, I saw you at the town meeting.
- I saw you, too.
Nice to meet you.
- So, we should be going.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna get going.
I just left my toolbox from when I was here earlier, fixing things.
I do a lot of little things around here for Lorelai.
Yeah, you're very handy.
So, Luke, we'll talk later.
Yes, we will.
Although probably not tonight.
We won't be back until late.
- No, I meant not tonight.
- Oh, I misunderstood.
I meant tomorrow.
So, tomorrow.
Absolutely.
We see each other most every day.
- Sure.
You've got the coffee.
- And she needs the coffee.
So I'll see you tomorrow, same time as always.
I'd count on a little later.
It doesn't matter what time it is.
I'll always be around.
Bye.
So, are we going? Yeah.
Just wanted to make sure you two were done swinging those things around.
- Someone's bound to lose an eye.
- What are you talking about? Nothing.
I'll get my purse.
So, not to be blunt, but is that over? - Is what over? - Whatever I just walked in on.
Max, come on, that's Luke.
I picked something up there.
Drop it back on the ground, kick it under the couch because there is no 'there' there.
Hey, it's okay.
We were apart for quite a while.
I never assumed you joined a convent.
It's not like I didn't date while we were apart.
- You dated? - A little.
- A little person? - No, I dated a little.
Okay.
I didn't expect you to join a manvent or whatever the male equivalent of that is called.
- Who did you date? - A monastery.
You dated a monastery? A monastery is the male equivalent of a convent.
I'll make a note for the quiz on Friday.
I didn't know if I'd ever see you again.
I get it.
Yes, we were apart.
And I didn't exactly remain inactive.
- So you did date Luke? - No, I did not date Luke.
- You can tell me.
- I did not date Luke.
- There was a vibe.
- There was no vibe.
What's with the questioning? You won't tell me who you dated.
No one you know.
Did you date casual, nothing-type dating or did you date get-down, soul-train kind of a dating? I wouldn't phrase it that way, but to be honest, it was the latter.
Good.
Well, I like your honesty because you could've lied and left that part out to spare my feelings which would've been unnecessary.
So, thank you.
I slept with Rory's dad.
- Change the subject.
- On my parents' balcony.
- I want to change the subject.
- You started it.
I did not mean for this to become a who-slept-with-whom contest.
- How'd it get that way? - I don't know.
Why do we let it get weird between us just when it's getting good again? I don't know.
- I don't like it.
- I don't either.
- And I'm sick of it.
- So am I.
We can't keep getting this close to have something derail us again.
There's only one thing I could think of that could solve it.
Break up.
I'm not interested in a murder-suicide kind of thing.
We should get married.
Give me a clue as to whether you're kidding or not.
I am not kidding.
- Good clue.
- What do you say? Nothing.
Max, you did not just propose to me.
Yes, I did.
No.
A proposal has to be something more than the desperate desire to end a bickering match.
- It was more than that.
- It has to be planned.
It should be magical.
There should be music playing, and romantic lighting and a subtle buildup to the popping of the big question.
There should be a thousand yellow daisies and candles and a horse.
I don't know what a horse is doing there unless you're riding it, which is a little over the top.
It should be more than this.
You're right.
I am right.
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
Let's start the evening over.
Ding-dong.
- Now I'm five minutes late.
- You're making good progress.
Let's go? Bye-bye, Bert.
- I'm a little tired of this game.
- What game? - Are we meeting there? - What are you talking about? The concert's tonight.
Hope you and the empty seat have a lot of fun.
- I'm starting to get a little irritated.
- So am I.
What are you mad about? You're telling everyone I'm going with you.
- Just a couple.
- You told Paris.
Paris and I had just started getting along.
Now she hates me.
If the damage is done, you might as well come with me.
Never.
I am never going anywhere with you, ever.
- These tickets cost me a fortune.
- They cost your daddy a fortune.
I don't know anyone else who's into this stupid guy.
P.
J.
Harvey's a woman.
What are you doing? You'll get them back when you agree.
You're pathetic, Tristan.
Keep the books.
I'm leaving.
Dean? What are you doing here? - I'm leaving.
- Don't go.
- I shouldn't have come.
- Wait! - I feel like an idiot.
- Why? I come all the way out here, and I see you with him.
It's just great.
- No, Tristan was just - I don't care.
He's got your books.
He took them.
He wouldn't give them back.
Please, just tell me why you're here.
- I don't even know.
- Yes, you do.
'Cause I thought you - Forget it.
- No, say it.
I thought you were trying to talk to me.
You came to my house.
- That wasn't me.
- It was you.
It must've been someone that looked like me.
My sister recognized you from the pictures in my box.
In what box? The box of stuff I have of us, pictures, and letters, and everything from you.
You have a Rory box? What about the town meeting? All that stuff about writing a song? I don't know what I was saying.
That had nothing to do with me? I must have imagined it all then.
- Your boyfriend's waiting.
- He's not my boyfriend.
- I hate him.
- Whatever.
- Dean.
- What? - Stop! - Why? Because I love you, you idiot.
Do you understand what I'm saying? Do you speak English? Are you listening to me? - What took you? - Sorry.
I got here as quickly as I could.
- Do not address him.
He's a scoundrel.
- I'm just doing my job.
Am I not the head man in charge of floral deliveries? And one of the few men who would proudly declare that.
- I'm doing my job.
- Stop saying that.
- This has to do with flowers we ordered? - Flowers we did not order.
I'm just doing my job.
Say that once more and I'll punch your nose.
- It must be a mistake.
- No.
I did not order these flowers.
It says that you have to be here to personally accept them.
I have to be here? Well, that's - I am head man in charge of flowers.
- I just do what I'm told.
- I warn you not to say that.
- It's not what I said before.
It's a little variation that will still lead to a punch on the nose.
Daisies, no less.
As if I would order these pitiful little things.
Foul things, these daisies.
Just a notch up from weeds.
And look how many.
There must be at least A thousand of them.
A thousand yellow daisies.
That's right, there's exactly a thousand of them.
Order states that there's to be exactly a thousand.
Not 1,001, not 999, but 1,000.
You ask for 1,000, I bring 1,000.
I don't question the orders.
I merely fill them.
A job well done, Mr.
Adolph Eichmann.
I couldn't find a horse.
- You didn't have to - Don't say anything.
Please.
You were right last night.
I shouldn't have proposed to you like that.
It was stupid.
It was the wrong place and the wrong time.
I kicked myself the entire night for doing it.
But you were wrong about something, too.
I didn't propose to you because we were fighting.
I proposed because I love you.
We're in a bad pattern, Lorelai, and we have to break it.
And other than that murder-suicide thing, which would be illegal and messy I can only think to be impetuous.
No, listen.
I woke up this morning and I realized that I have studied and taught the great literature all my life.
And those stories are replete with characters that let opportunities slip by.
But what I teach is more than just literature.
It's lessons in life.
If I don't follow those tenets I'm not the man I thought I was, the man I want to be.
God, you talk so good.
I don't want an answer now.
I've thought about this.
I want you to do the same.
I love you, Lorelai Gilmore.
And I know this to be true.
I'll talk to you later.
Oh, my.
- Rory! - You made me spill.
- Sorry.
She's not here? - No.
What's the matter? I messaged her to meet me here at 7:00.
She's supposed to be here.
- So what time is it? - 7:00.
- I'm damp.
- Where is she? Calm down.
Is everything okay? - Yes.
Maybe.
I think so.
I don't know.
- What's going on? Big things, potentially life-changing things.
Get a promotion? I became head salesman of Northwest Territories.
I run an inn.
There's no place to promote me to.
So it's not work.
- Where's she? - Have some coffee while you wait.
I couldn't take coffee.
Big hole through the roof, very bad.
You're saying no to coffee? This is big.
Can't tell me what it is? I just really need to tell Rory first.
But you're happy about this news? I might be.
Maybe.
It's like a, 'I can't believe this is happening to me' kind of a mind-blowing moment.
There she is.
I'm gonna go.
The whole town gets one today.
Bye.
- He just - I just You first! Me first!