Milo Murphy's Law (2016) s01e21 Episode Script
The Little Engine That Couldn't
1 [TITLE MUSIC.]
# Look at that sun Look at that sky # # Look at my sweater vest I look so fly # # Look at that mailbox Look at that tree # # It's about as beautiful as it can be # # Whoa # Today is gonna be exceptional Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # - # Whoa, whoa # - # we're all livin' in it # Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # - Hi, Dad.
- Hi, honey.
I can't figure out what's wrong with this [GRUNTS.]
- And hello, Milo.
- Hi, Mr.
Chase! Dad, we're going to go get some ice cream.
You wanna go? Well, I'd love to, but I gotta take this baby down to the Fire Truck Museum today.
You mean the museum that nobody goes to? Well, when kids get a load of Denise here, it should really boost attendance! You know, Dad, the Natural History Museum is right across the street and they have a full size T-Rex.
Who's gonna get excited about an antique red truck? I can't believe it! Melissa, this is a 1901 Vandervert Douse Master 4! This has dozens of unique innovations for fighting fires! For example, the water tank back here has a wind turbine that spins while you're driving, that way when they got there they'd have enough pressure to shoot the water all the way up to the third story! Wowee! There's a pneumatic secondary braking system on the back, the first ever ladder that was actually attached to the top of a truck, and look, the bell has a little string so you can ring it by hand I I guess that's not as impressive as the rest of it, but over here, it has an in-dash radio! And radios weren't even invented yet! And this truck also has the distinction of being the first ever to have a Dalmatian as a mascot.
In fact, they had a little place for him to ride right over here and he Diogee? How'd you get in there? - And where'd you get these spots? - I'm impressed, Milo.
How do you know so much about antique fire engines? Are you kidding? It was a truck like this that saved my grandfather after he accidentally ate all those balloons.
Well, Dad, since Milo's so excited about it, - I guess we'll ride down with you.
- Whoa.
Whoa.
- I don't know about Milo.
- What do you mean? Well, the museum is filled with breakable antiques Come on, Dad, he's such a fan.
It'd mean so much to him! - Apparently.
- Oh [CLICKS TONGUE.]
Okay.
Whaddya say, Milo? [IMITATES SIREN.]
Yeah, where's that fire? [RING BELLS.]
It's out there, buddy! [IMITATES SIREN.]
- Wait, hey, Mr.
Chase, can I drive? - No.
DAKOTA: Well, we got the pistachios, now what? Well, we then have to get them to the safe house, which should be easy once we locate our new vehicle! It's supposed to be parked right out here somewhere Oh, a new vehicle! We're coming up in the world.
It's about time, too, considering what they gave us last time.
- I hope it's fast! - I hope it's red! Let's see now [BEEPING.]
[GROANS.]
Well, it is red.
It's like they're going out of their way to humiliate us! Oh, come on, it's a tandem! It's like a bike, riding another bike! All righty.
So, we wait till traffic clears, look left, then right, then Then we look left again, and safely pull out into traffic.
Why is he narrating? He's laying down a foundation for when I learn I'm laying down a foundation for when she learns to drive.
- Signaling.
- Oh, this is very exciting! Milo, check out the wind turbine.
MILO: Wowee! Look at her go! Pretty impressive, huh? And we're only going one eighth of a furlong per jiffy.
That's only 17 miles an hour.
Yeah, but back then they thought if you went any faster than 35, - your lungs would collapse.
- [SCOFFS.]
That's ridiculous.
Well, we can really test that theory on this hill! [ALL SCREAMING.]
Okay, well, I'm gently applying the brake! MILO: [SCREAMS.]
Sorry, Elliot! Now I am trying to extricate my foot from the floorboards.
Dad, you can stop narrating now.
Maybe we can radio for help.
Hello? Hello? This is Milo Murphy.
We're on a runaway Douse Master 4.
And we just went over Harding Hill! Jumping bullfrogs, your lungs will collapse! Hold on, young fellow! I know exactly what to do! [PLAYING RAGTIME.]
[BELL RINGING.]
Maybe we should try something else.
[RINGING.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[HONKING.]
[CHIRPING.]
[PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
There you go, all set! Hop on! MILO: Oops! Sorry! It's that kid! See? See! I was right! He's done it again, he's ruined our mission! Oh, no! Hey, how 'bout if I pull that secondary brake back there? Wait, Milo.
No! Get back here! [GRUNTS.]
Hey, the brake must be working! We're slowing down! - Milo? - Oh, hey, Mr.
Chase! I think my lungs just collapsed.
Well, it's a good thing we stopped before - we ran into this rail car diner! - Milo, you're like whatever the opposite of a rabbit's foot is.
- A rabbit's head? - A fox's foot? - A pound of sugar? - No, you're just [GRUNTS.]
Dad! It's just Murphy's Law, he can't help it.
- Besides, he just A pound of sugar, really? - I was just riffing! Besides, he also just saved us by thinking on his feet.
Actually, I was sitting down when I thought of it, - so technically I was thinking on my - If he wasn't here, we wouldn't need saving! Sitting or otherwise.
All right, be nice, Dad.
Does this Murphy's Law thing have an off switch? I haven't found one yet! Look, there they are! They've stopped! Quickly, Dakota! The game's afoot! "The game's afoot"? Really? - I don't think anybody says that! - I just said that! I know, and it's mystifying me! Oh, we better hurry! It looks like that tank's gonna blow! [SCREAMING.]
[PLAYING RAGTIME.]
[SCREAMING.]
Oh, this chassis was not made for jet propulsion! I want to know who he's working for! Hey, Dad, we're moving! That's no excuse, you still gotta eat your vegetables.
- Coming through! - Sorry.
- CAVENDISH: Pardon! - DAKOTA: Excuse me, sorry.
So, you gonna finish that? Now there's something you don't often see, a wheel of giant corndogs passing you on the street.
Yeah, and we must be going at least five furlongs per jiffy.
Oh, hey, it's you two guys! Uh, the pistachio guys! How are you? How we are is none of your concern! Now, tell us! Who are you working for? The Black Radish Underground? The Marmoset League? [WOMAN SCREAMING.]
[CATS YOWLING.]
Uh-oh.
Excuse me! - All right, see ya later.
- Don't tell him you'll see him later.
DAKOTA: What? I'm just being nice.
[CATS SCREAMING.]
RESIDENTS: Aw! [CATS YOWLING.]
So he's a rogue time agent out to destroy us by saving kittens? He can do both! Oh, hey, a kitty! Hey! He looks kinda like you! He does not look like me! [IMITATES CAVENDISH.]
[BOTH YELLING.]
[GRUNTING AND GROANING.]
Ow! Dad! The roof came off! You still gotta eat your vegetables.
- DAUGHTER: Dad! - FATHER: Vegetables.
And now we're dragging the top of an old diner.
Well, that was exciting.
Are you guys okay? - Is this a game to you? - A game? No, I mean how would you keep score? [YELLS.]
I got you! There you go! Hey, listen, it's gonna get bumpy up ahead, so I better drop you guys off at Palm Lake Park.
Okay, you take care now! - Don't tell him to take care! - I am just being nice! There you go! Have a nice afternoon! [SCREAMING.]
That Murphy kid, he saved us.
- He's like, he's like a hero! - He's the villain.
I am the hero.
[IMITATES CAVENDISH.]
Ah, ah? See? Mr.
Chase, I've got an idea! If we turn left on Reese, maybe the Natural History Museum steps will slow us down! And maybe we'll get to see that T-Rex! At this point, I'm willing to try anything! RICHARD: Well, big surprise.
We are not slowing down! [SCREAMING.]
- Cool! - Nice! - Whoa! - Awesome! [CHUCKLES.]
That sculpture is so cool, it makes me want to visit the fire truck museum! BOY 1: So are fire trucks the reason dinosaurs went extinct? BOY 2: Let's find out by going inside and paying admission! - BOY 3: I wanna pay, too! - BOY 4: Come on! Hey, we did get to see the T-Rex! [GIGGLES.]
Milo, y'know [SAD PIANO MUSIC PLAYING.]
just spending the day with you - has given me a new appreciation for - Uh, excuse me, Mr.
Chase.
Okay, Gus, we're all set at this end.
Thanks a lot.
[SAD MUSIC STOPS.]
No problem, sonny! - You were saying? - Well, what I was saying is, I think I have a new appreciation for you and your condition.
Well said, Dad.
What I mean is, on some level, I think I can relate.
Part of my job is fighting an uncontrollable element.
Fire.
All we can do is be prepared, think on our feet, and ride the wave.
Not a wave of fire, because those don't actually exist.
Well, actually, last summer, I I'd quit while you're ahead, Milo.
It's my world and we're all livin' in it
# Look at that sun Look at that sky # # Look at my sweater vest I look so fly # # Look at that mailbox Look at that tree # # It's about as beautiful as it can be # # Whoa # Today is gonna be exceptional Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # - # Whoa, whoa # - # we're all livin' in it # Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # - Hi, Dad.
- Hi, honey.
I can't figure out what's wrong with this [GRUNTS.]
- And hello, Milo.
- Hi, Mr.
Chase! Dad, we're going to go get some ice cream.
You wanna go? Well, I'd love to, but I gotta take this baby down to the Fire Truck Museum today.
You mean the museum that nobody goes to? Well, when kids get a load of Denise here, it should really boost attendance! You know, Dad, the Natural History Museum is right across the street and they have a full size T-Rex.
Who's gonna get excited about an antique red truck? I can't believe it! Melissa, this is a 1901 Vandervert Douse Master 4! This has dozens of unique innovations for fighting fires! For example, the water tank back here has a wind turbine that spins while you're driving, that way when they got there they'd have enough pressure to shoot the water all the way up to the third story! Wowee! There's a pneumatic secondary braking system on the back, the first ever ladder that was actually attached to the top of a truck, and look, the bell has a little string so you can ring it by hand I I guess that's not as impressive as the rest of it, but over here, it has an in-dash radio! And radios weren't even invented yet! And this truck also has the distinction of being the first ever to have a Dalmatian as a mascot.
In fact, they had a little place for him to ride right over here and he Diogee? How'd you get in there? - And where'd you get these spots? - I'm impressed, Milo.
How do you know so much about antique fire engines? Are you kidding? It was a truck like this that saved my grandfather after he accidentally ate all those balloons.
Well, Dad, since Milo's so excited about it, - I guess we'll ride down with you.
- Whoa.
Whoa.
- I don't know about Milo.
- What do you mean? Well, the museum is filled with breakable antiques Come on, Dad, he's such a fan.
It'd mean so much to him! - Apparently.
- Oh [CLICKS TONGUE.]
Okay.
Whaddya say, Milo? [IMITATES SIREN.]
Yeah, where's that fire? [RING BELLS.]
It's out there, buddy! [IMITATES SIREN.]
- Wait, hey, Mr.
Chase, can I drive? - No.
DAKOTA: Well, we got the pistachios, now what? Well, we then have to get them to the safe house, which should be easy once we locate our new vehicle! It's supposed to be parked right out here somewhere Oh, a new vehicle! We're coming up in the world.
It's about time, too, considering what they gave us last time.
- I hope it's fast! - I hope it's red! Let's see now [BEEPING.]
[GROANS.]
Well, it is red.
It's like they're going out of their way to humiliate us! Oh, come on, it's a tandem! It's like a bike, riding another bike! All righty.
So, we wait till traffic clears, look left, then right, then Then we look left again, and safely pull out into traffic.
Why is he narrating? He's laying down a foundation for when I learn I'm laying down a foundation for when she learns to drive.
- Signaling.
- Oh, this is very exciting! Milo, check out the wind turbine.
MILO: Wowee! Look at her go! Pretty impressive, huh? And we're only going one eighth of a furlong per jiffy.
That's only 17 miles an hour.
Yeah, but back then they thought if you went any faster than 35, - your lungs would collapse.
- [SCOFFS.]
That's ridiculous.
Well, we can really test that theory on this hill! [ALL SCREAMING.]
Okay, well, I'm gently applying the brake! MILO: [SCREAMS.]
Sorry, Elliot! Now I am trying to extricate my foot from the floorboards.
Dad, you can stop narrating now.
Maybe we can radio for help.
Hello? Hello? This is Milo Murphy.
We're on a runaway Douse Master 4.
And we just went over Harding Hill! Jumping bullfrogs, your lungs will collapse! Hold on, young fellow! I know exactly what to do! [PLAYING RAGTIME.]
[BELL RINGING.]
Maybe we should try something else.
[RINGING.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[HONKING.]
[CHIRPING.]
[PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
There you go, all set! Hop on! MILO: Oops! Sorry! It's that kid! See? See! I was right! He's done it again, he's ruined our mission! Oh, no! Hey, how 'bout if I pull that secondary brake back there? Wait, Milo.
No! Get back here! [GRUNTS.]
Hey, the brake must be working! We're slowing down! - Milo? - Oh, hey, Mr.
Chase! I think my lungs just collapsed.
Well, it's a good thing we stopped before - we ran into this rail car diner! - Milo, you're like whatever the opposite of a rabbit's foot is.
- A rabbit's head? - A fox's foot? - A pound of sugar? - No, you're just [GRUNTS.]
Dad! It's just Murphy's Law, he can't help it.
- Besides, he just A pound of sugar, really? - I was just riffing! Besides, he also just saved us by thinking on his feet.
Actually, I was sitting down when I thought of it, - so technically I was thinking on my - If he wasn't here, we wouldn't need saving! Sitting or otherwise.
All right, be nice, Dad.
Does this Murphy's Law thing have an off switch? I haven't found one yet! Look, there they are! They've stopped! Quickly, Dakota! The game's afoot! "The game's afoot"? Really? - I don't think anybody says that! - I just said that! I know, and it's mystifying me! Oh, we better hurry! It looks like that tank's gonna blow! [SCREAMING.]
[PLAYING RAGTIME.]
[SCREAMING.]
Oh, this chassis was not made for jet propulsion! I want to know who he's working for! Hey, Dad, we're moving! That's no excuse, you still gotta eat your vegetables.
- Coming through! - Sorry.
- CAVENDISH: Pardon! - DAKOTA: Excuse me, sorry.
So, you gonna finish that? Now there's something you don't often see, a wheel of giant corndogs passing you on the street.
Yeah, and we must be going at least five furlongs per jiffy.
Oh, hey, it's you two guys! Uh, the pistachio guys! How are you? How we are is none of your concern! Now, tell us! Who are you working for? The Black Radish Underground? The Marmoset League? [WOMAN SCREAMING.]
[CATS YOWLING.]
Uh-oh.
Excuse me! - All right, see ya later.
- Don't tell him you'll see him later.
DAKOTA: What? I'm just being nice.
[CATS SCREAMING.]
RESIDENTS: Aw! [CATS YOWLING.]
So he's a rogue time agent out to destroy us by saving kittens? He can do both! Oh, hey, a kitty! Hey! He looks kinda like you! He does not look like me! [IMITATES CAVENDISH.]
[BOTH YELLING.]
[GRUNTING AND GROANING.]
Ow! Dad! The roof came off! You still gotta eat your vegetables.
- DAUGHTER: Dad! - FATHER: Vegetables.
And now we're dragging the top of an old diner.
Well, that was exciting.
Are you guys okay? - Is this a game to you? - A game? No, I mean how would you keep score? [YELLS.]
I got you! There you go! Hey, listen, it's gonna get bumpy up ahead, so I better drop you guys off at Palm Lake Park.
Okay, you take care now! - Don't tell him to take care! - I am just being nice! There you go! Have a nice afternoon! [SCREAMING.]
That Murphy kid, he saved us.
- He's like, he's like a hero! - He's the villain.
I am the hero.
[IMITATES CAVENDISH.]
Ah, ah? See? Mr.
Chase, I've got an idea! If we turn left on Reese, maybe the Natural History Museum steps will slow us down! And maybe we'll get to see that T-Rex! At this point, I'm willing to try anything! RICHARD: Well, big surprise.
We are not slowing down! [SCREAMING.]
- Cool! - Nice! - Whoa! - Awesome! [CHUCKLES.]
That sculpture is so cool, it makes me want to visit the fire truck museum! BOY 1: So are fire trucks the reason dinosaurs went extinct? BOY 2: Let's find out by going inside and paying admission! - BOY 3: I wanna pay, too! - BOY 4: Come on! Hey, we did get to see the T-Rex! [GIGGLES.]
Milo, y'know [SAD PIANO MUSIC PLAYING.]
just spending the day with you - has given me a new appreciation for - Uh, excuse me, Mr.
Chase.
Okay, Gus, we're all set at this end.
Thanks a lot.
[SAD MUSIC STOPS.]
No problem, sonny! - You were saying? - Well, what I was saying is, I think I have a new appreciation for you and your condition.
Well said, Dad.
What I mean is, on some level, I think I can relate.
Part of my job is fighting an uncontrollable element.
Fire.
All we can do is be prepared, think on our feet, and ride the wave.
Not a wave of fire, because those don't actually exist.
Well, actually, last summer, I I'd quit while you're ahead, Milo.
It's my world and we're all livin' in it