Party of Five s01e21 Episode Script

ARTIE: Twenty, I only got a buck forty, so put those back.
You always want to put back the Ho-Ho's.
I don't like 'em.
And every morning we end up with Ho-Ho's and a Freezee.
Artie, that's because you love Freezees.
Duh.
[SIGHS.]
Okay, make up your mind.
Look, man, I got a gun, so don't even think about turning around.
Just empty the register real slow.
[COCKS GUN.]
Do it now! [CASH REGISTER OPENS.]
No, I don't need a bag! Now get your head down.
Get down! [DOOR BUZZER RINGS.]
Whoa.
[.]
Everybody wants to live Like they wanna live And everybody wants to love Like they wanna love Everybody wants to be Closer to free Closer to free [GLASSES RATTLING.]
I mean, I thought we had, you know, a thing, and then I find out she's leaving my bed and crawling into this other guy's.
You're kidding.
She told you that? Well, I followed her.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Perfect lipstick print.
I mean, I thought that, you know, this was going to be the one, you know.
And, I mean, she told me I had a cute butt.
What is that, if not serious commitment, you know.
Maybe you need to re-examine your standards, Dudley.
You know what I'm going to miss the most? BOTH: The sex.
I mean, she was right next door.
I even nicknamed her 2-C.
You know, apartment 2-C.
Heh? I admit it was a little precious, but she ate it up.
Only now I find out she's moved in with this guy, Chip.
I mean, can you believe she dumped me for a guy named Chip? She moved out? Yesterday.
She took all my Dean Martin CDs too.
This is a treacherous, treacherous woman we're dealing with here.
And get this.
Well, did they rent her apartment? No.
She was big into throwing things, so there'll be a lot of patching and painting, and uh Wait a minute.
I'm spilling my guts out here, and you're worried about real estate.
No.
It's just, I looked at four places today.
And they're all either too roach-infested or too far away.
Your building's exactly the kind of place I'm looking for.
You and me neighbors? Really? Like before they kicked me out of school? Mm.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm all a-tingle.
[TELEPHONE RINGS.]
Salinger's.
This is Dud.
Oh, hi, babe.
How are you? So we still on for tonight? Uh-huh.
So you can sneak out okay? Great.
I love you too.
It's Kirsten.
Hey.
Okay.
Now, what kind of jacket was he wearing? It was a windbreaker.
It was a sportscoat.
I saw him before you did.
It was a sportscoat.
Okay.
Do you remember the color? Blue.
Green.
Blue-green? Excuse me, Officer Windlan, but didn't the cashier get a look at this guy? I'm afraid not.
All we have to go on is Artie and Claudia's description.
Anything else, guys? Any other distinguishing marks, scars? I, uh, really don't remember.
ARTIE: I do.
He was real tall and sort of pale-looking.
Oh, and I think he had a beard.
Maybe if we looked at some mug shots-- After you talk to the sketch artist.
And what about a line-up? A line-up? It's a possibility.
And then we'll have to testify at his trial, right? Testify? ARTIE: And, hey, maybe we could sell the rights to our story.
Joe gave me the seats.
They're in the second row.
We're going to be able to, like, count the sweat drops on Tim Hardaway's forehead.
What do you think her hair feels like? Will, you can't go out with Kiki Nash.
She's a walking pep rally.
She'd make you spend Saturday nights trying to figure out new ways to boost school spirit.
I could live with that.
Great.
Bye-bye.
Jill! Hi.
Promise you won't laugh.
At what? Dance marathon.
Thirty-six hours this weekend.
To raise money for the library.
I have to do the posters, the music, the decorations You're running it? You promised.
I-- I'm not laughing.
I'm not laughing, um [LAUGHS.]
I'm sorry.
[LAUGHS.]
I hate you.
I told you, Dr.
Brooks wants me to get more involved with my community.
Well, yeah, but I'm sure he means going to things, you know, not running them.
Well, how do you know? You weren't there in my sessions.
Well, no, but [SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
from what you told me.
Well, I haven't told you everything, so you don't know.
Oh.
And that's because you just haven't gotten around to it, or-- Bailey.
Therapy is a very private thing, okay.
I know, yeah.
Of course it is.
Of course it is.
But you should know that you can talk to me.
You know, if you want to.
I mean, I'm here for you if you ever do need to talk about it.
You know what I need? What? Someone to put these up in the science building before lunch.
Thanks.
[SIGHS.]
I don't know.
Oh, come on.
$15.
00 to enter, and the winner gets to keep half the pot.
Besides, we've never danced together.
Huh.
How come we've never danced together? I don't know.
Wait a minute.
That's the problem here, isn't it? No.
You can't dance, can you? It's not that I can't.
I just don't.
Oh, my God.
You can't dance.
I I didn't say I can't.
That's so cute.
I love that about you.
All right, well And you're embarrassed too.
Look, please, don't.
That's even cuter.
For God's sakes.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, damn.
Oh, man, I was supposed to pick up those numbers today.
Those-- You know, for people's backs.
Oh, well, I'm just going to have to do that tomorrow.
Sometime.
When, I have no idea.
You know what, Jill? You don't have to do all this.
What is that supposed to mean? Nothing, but I just think maybe you should hold off on this kind of thing.
What, you don't think I can do it? That's not what I said.
Give me a little credit, Bailey.
I'm not an idiot.
No, I know.
But you've never done anything like this before, and with all you've been going through.
I mean, you were on speed, so I think the last thing you should try and do is something that requires you to stay up for 36 hours.
God.
What? What kind of boyfriend are you? You're supposed to be supporting me, not telling me what I can't do.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Will you forgive me? Stop, okay? What? Sex is not a solution.
What? It's one of the things Dr.
Brooks says.
Oh, really.
Well, does he tell you what it's supposed to mean? Where's that number? Uh, yeah.
It means I can't use sex to solve my problems anymore.
[DIALS PHONE.]
[LAUGHS.]
See, I told you this was easy.
Hmm.
But it slipped Under the carpet Never making a peep Or a sound Never to be found She wanted to tell her story With all its tricks And turns You're so warm.
And to feel that In judgement She would be burned, oh You okay? Yeah.
You just tickled.
Still? No.
That feels nice.
But she cannot Tell you directly Will you ever find out The past plagues her so? Well? Kitchen's pretty okay.
And I'm sure it's got good light.
I think a new coat of paint will really help a lot.
You hate it.
No, not it.
Just the idea of it.
Of you moving out, leaving them.
I'm sorry, I know you want me to be on board, Charlie, but-- Kirsten.
I need this.
I really do.
I need it.
And it seems like so little to want, you know? I know.
I just Look, we'd be seven minutes from the house.
I clocked it.
I'll go by every morning, and I'll stop by every night after work, and it'll be just like it was before I officially moved back in, and that wasn't so bad.
We managed.
Charlie-- Kirsten, this would be our place.
Now, I could build you some bookshelves.
We could turn this whole area over here into, like, a study for you.
And everybody in this building, they're our age.
It'd be fun, right? Meet some new people.
Think about it.
We can sleep late.
Have dinner in our underwear.
Make love in the kitchen.
In the shower.
We can make love in the middle of the day if we want Right here.
Right here, huh? No one would walk in on us or hear us.
Does the sofa come with? The last tenant left it.
Pretty thoughtful, huh? So, uh, you're taking all your stuff? Nope.
Thought I'd leave some clothes in case I end up staying over.
Are you taking this? Nah.
You want it? Hey, Officer Windlan just called.
They got some guy matching the description.
She needs you to come down for a line-up.
Can't Artie do it? She said they need you both.
Go ahead and get dressed, Claud.
I'll meet you downstairs.
BAILEY: That's okay.
I got it.
I'm sure you've got lots of stuff you have to do.
Well, actually, the apartment's not even ready yet, so Errands to run, last-minute arrangements This-- this is probably just one more headache you don't really need, right? So don't worry about it.
It's taken care of.
Come on.
OFFICER WINDLAN: All right, Claudia, take your time.
Maybe num-- number three.
Number three, please step forward.
CLAUDIA: Can he see me? Can he, Bailey? Not a chance.
There's a two-way mirror, you know, like on TV.
Oh, okay.
[CLAUDIA SIGHS.]
No, his nose is too big.
What about number four? No way.
He's got that funny bump thing on his head.
Can I see number five? You know what, I'm going to take a little risk here.
Is number one the guy you saw? Uh No.
Then we're all done here.
My tax dollars at work.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Okay, so how long do they have to be not moving before I disqualify them? Uh, 10 seconds, and then just grab their number and kick them out.
I'm not usually very aggressive.
You'll learn.
Okay.
Hey.
Hey! I thought you were going to the game.
Yeah, well.
I figured, what the hell, I'll catch the highlights on TV.
Oh, uh-huh.
God, this place looks great.
MAN: Where are we putting the coats? Where are we putting the coats.
Where are we putting the coats? Um You know what? Why don't you let me do this for you? Oh, no.
I kind of wanted to sign in people personally.
Well, yeah, but you should probably open up a coat room.
Uh, well, uh Okay, okay, I guess.
Okay.
Now, what we need here is a system.
[GIGGLING.]
What? I'm not going to take off my shirt in the middle of the gym.
You've seen mine.
Yeah, that's different, because your birthmark's on your foot.
Just lift it up.
No one's looking.
No, no.
Please, come on.
No.
All right, fine.
Oh, that's so cute.
It's shaped like a race car.
Shut up.
Well, it is.
I've heard stories told [LAUGHS.]
Four hours down.
Thirty-two to go.
So hang in there, guys.
Save up your energy.
[FEEDBACK.]
I am gonna follow this with a solid hour of hard-core thrash.
It's hard to be like this A long, lonely trip Julia.
What? Julia, I Justin It's hard to be like this On a long and lonely trip To be the one you miss DUDLEY: God, his name is on a dead brain cell.
Big guy.
What was it-- Ewell? Ezwell? I don't think I even remember his real name.
Everybody just called him Trojan.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, yeah.
Hey.
[DUDLEY AND CHARLIE LAUGHING.]
He went to USC? Yeah, that was it.
The, uh, the Trojans.
[DUDLEY AND CHARLIE LAUGH.]
It's, um it's kind of a long story.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
So you guys have a lot of parties here? Oh, just the first Saturday of every month.
Hey, houseboat next weekend, huh? Yeah.
It's usually, uh, pretty quiet.
See, we can get a lot of work done.
No distractions.
I was just asking.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS.]
Look, Mr.
Fountain, this can't be the first time someone's spiked the punch bowl at a dance.
Someone spiked the punch? Yes, okay? Look, we found out about it, we threw it out.
Why can't you just get off my case about this? Jill, I'm the chaperon.
Being on your case is my job tonight.
Great.
This should be fun.
BAILEY: Uh You know what? Jill told me to keep an eye on the punch, so this whole thing is really my fault.
Okay, if it happens again, I'm shutting this whole thing down.
What? I was helping.
I can fight my own fights.
You were making him mad.
Yeah, so he was making me mad.
You just have to be careful how you talk to people.
Oh, thank you, Bailey.
Excuse me.
I'm gonna make a note of that.
Jerk.
JILL: Listen up, everybody.
Okay, um We're gonna take a short break right now, so you can all wet your whistles and empty your bladders, but anyone who isn't back here in exactly five minutes is disqualified.
You know what? I'm gonna get rid of this shirt.
Okay.
You thirsty? I'll get us something.
Oh I don't have any money.
Here you go.
Thanks.
Sorry, I'm all sweaty.
Oh, it's okay.
MAN: It's gonna be like you're in some kind of a floating conga line.
Now, there's gonna be eight of us on the houseboat, but it sleeps 12, so there's plenty of room.
What do you think? Uh, well, actually, I'm pretty buried next weekend.
And you got that thing, remember? What thing? You know, for Claudia.
Her recital.
Oh, uh, that.
Right.
Well, it's your loss, guys.
I mean, it's gonna be a blast.
It's gonna be three days of nothing but drifting and drinking.
Hello.
Now's my chance.
The girl from 3-E is all alone.
Can I have a butt-check here? Did I sit in anything? All clear.
Beautiful.
Claudia's recital? I was giving you an out.
For what? Drifting and drinking? It doesn't sound like your kind of weekend.
Maybe if you tried to have a good time.
I did, but I'm ready to go home.
What are you talking about? It's still early.
Okay, you want to stay, I want to go, so get Dud to give you a ride home.
Kirsten-- I want to go home, Charlie.
[SIGHS.]
Fine.
[KEYS JINGLE.]
Drive safely.
Yeah.
You too.
[SCREAMS.]
What's going on? She had a nightmare.
She finally fell asleep around 3:30.
Boy, this robbery really freaked her out.
Well, I'll talk to her in the morning.
Did you have a good time? I would've had a better time if you had been there.
Then Claudia would've been here by herself.
No, she wouldn't have.
Bill's here till midnight, and we would've been back here before then.
But since you left early Hey, I can do this.
I can have fun.
I can have an actual life and still be on top of things here, Kirsten.
I really can.
And I know exactly what to do for her, what she needs, and I'll take care of it.
CHARLIE: This is a Safetek lock.
It cost me over 200 bucks.
You'd need a Scud missile to break this thing.
Well, that's good.
And I got these bolts for the windows, and if that's not enough, we'll put up burglar bars.
I don't know.
Burglar bars are kind of ugly.
Still, whatever it takes to make you feel safe.
Okay, to unlock it, use this key for the top one.
Okay.
That undoes the deadbolt, and then you unlock the lock.
Oh.
Perp's in custody.
Excuse me? It's cop talk.
They caught the guy, and there isn't gonna be any line-up or trial or anything.
There isn't? He confessed.
He's going to jail, and we don't even get to testify against him.
JILL: This whole thing is a mess.
I should have left it to someone else who knew what they were doing.
Get out of here.
It's been great.
Don't lie to me out of pity.
That would be too depressing.
I'm not.
Honestly, you don't know this because you've never came to dances before, but they're always a mess.
The only thing different about this one is, for once, the music doesn't suck.
You think? Because I spent almost my entire day rounding up CDs.
Well, yeah.
And all the stuff you've done on the mic has been really funny.
I mean, you should be a stand-up comedian or something.
Well, I guess if I could make it through 36 hours of this, I could probably do anything.
Jill, let me ask you something.
Um do you think most guys in school carry condoms in their wallets? Or, you know, just a few, or? Well, how many do you think do that? Um I don't know.
How many guys are having sex? Oh, damn.
If you're not out there in 40 seconds, you're disqualified! [RIP.]
Hey! Sorry, Will.
You know the rules.
You both have to be moving.
We were.
No.
Kiki was kind of rocking from one foot to the other, but you, you were just standing there kissing her for two solid minutes.
I clocked you.
Great.
Thanks a lot.
My tongue was moving.
That counts.
Make sure you ice that when you get home, okay? You know what? This whole thing's starting to remind me of this movie I saw once on TV.
Which one? They Shoot Horses, Don't They? Carrie.
JILL: Uh, excuse me.
People, can I have your attention, please? Okay, listen up.
[WHISPERING.]
Go away, Will.
Um Okay, it has come to my attention that some coats are missing from the locker room, so if you accidentally took them, please return them, okay? And if you stole them on purpose, which is probably more the case, you suck.
She doesn't usually talk like that.
Bailey, I've got a feeling the fun curve is leveling off here.
Now, what would you think of making this a 24-hour marathon instead of a 36? I think I'd drop down to my knees and kiss your feet.
Well, that I can live without.
When the sky clears And you've come back inside Mr.
Fountain caught Scottie and Rita having sex in the shower in the girls' locker room.
You're kidding.
They got disqualified.
It doesn't seem fair, though.
They were moving.
You know what, Justin? I'm really tired.
What? You want to quit? Well, we're not gonna make it through all 36 hours anyway, so we might as well quit now and get some sleep.
Wait a minute.
What's the problem? I mean, you-- you're the one that was into this whole thing the whole time.
What happened? Nothing.
I just want to go to bed.
You-- What is it? What's the problem? You know what? I'm tired, and I'm hungry, and I'm kind of getting sick of this, so I'm leaving.
[RIP.]
I thought you'd agree.
What, are you stupid? I work my ass off on something, you think I'm just gonna call it off? We're not canceling it, Jill.
We're just gonna stop it before it gets out of hand.
What makes you think it will? Huh? Come on, Jill.
Come on.
Everyone's cranky, you're exhausted.
Okay, all right, fine.
Maybe this thing's a little bit of a mess, all right, but you know what, Bailey? It's my mess, this whole thing was mine, and all night long, you've been trying to take it away from me.
I have not.
You have too! From the moment you got here tonight, you've just been waiting for me to screw up so you could fix it.
I mean, God! The punch, the cash box, even the microphone.
There was feedback! So what? Maybe I like feedback, all right? Maybe I want to fix the feedback myself.
Maybe I want to look at this whole thing however it turns out, and say, "You know what? I did that all by myself.
" You said you wanted me in your corner.
Yes, in my corner, not in my face.
[.]
Oh, man.
That's Again.
Whoa.
I'm out of practice.
Yeah, I know.
Getting old sucks, huh? To Big Sur.
To Big Sur.
The lost weekend.
Tell me you remember.
We camped on the beach or something? Yeah, only because you got so drunk, you lost your car keys and your wallet.
But we met up with those girls from Tahoe.
That was pretty cool.
Yeah, until you threw up on them.
Dud, I did not throw up on them.
Well, you hit their shoes.
I believe that counts in Olympic rules.
Now, come on.
Drink them up.
We didn't get back in time.
We blew that Stonestown bid by, like, three hours.
That would have been a great gig.
We could have made a lot of money.
Hey, well, what the hell? It was worth it, right? What a blast.
[BELCHES.]
CHARLIE: Claud, It's not about that.
It's not about you.
It's just something I need Hello? [CHARLIE LAUGHING.]
And you know what? Things will not be all that different around here.
Hello? [CHARLIE LAUGHING.]
[SCREAMING.]
[JULIA CLEARS HER THROAT.]
Jule? Oh, God.
What time is it? Oh You okay? No.
I was supposed to open up for the produce guy at 6:00.
I promised Joe.
I have to call him.
Oh, God.
I don't have a phone.
I can't believe I did this.
He's gonna kill me.
If this is a bad time-- No, no.
I'd ask you to sit down, but I can't move.
That's okay.
I just wanted to see your new place.
It's nice.
It reminds me of that place you had on Potrero.
Anyways, Kirsten told me you stayed over here last night.
It was kind of weird because I thought, "Wow.
This is really it.
" You make it sound like we're not going to see each other ever again.
It will be different.
I mean, you won't be right down the hall anymore.
And I know things weren't perfect between us, but it was getting better, and that was nice.
And I'll miss it.
And I'll miss you.
Right.
Well If you ever need something, or you just want to talk Good.
That's good.
I mean, it's not like I'll be over here all the time, you know, but maybe sometimes if I have, like, a question or something What is it, Jule? Nothing specific.
I mean, you're older, and you know a lot of things.
Oh, yeah.
I'm wise beyond my years.
[CHUCKLING.]
Well you know what it's like when two people are really, really attracted to each other.
I mean, you've had a lot of experience with that, right? Is this about sex? No.
I mean, yeah, it is about sex.
I just really need to talk to you.
So Let's talk.
JILL: Bailey.
You weren't in school.
Yeah.
I raised 900 bucks for the library, so I got excused.
What do you want? I want to feel like you want me around, because I don't feel like that anymore.
The thing is, Bailey I'm trying to do this thing-- I know, and I want to help you.
And I don't need it.
If I'm gonna really, finally kick drugs, I have to feel like I can handle things by myself, without getting high, without having sex, without running to you.
I like you running to me.
Well I can't do it anymore.
I have to take care of my problems myself.
You can understand that, can't you? So So, what? I can't even, like, change a flat tire for you? Nope.
But you can teach me how to change one myself.
Okay? Okay.
Uh wait a minute.
Hmm? Are there, like, problems here that need to be solved? Mm No, I'm feeling fairly okay about things.
So you're not you're not, like, feeling like a basket case or anything? And if I, um maybe kissed you, that-- that would be-- That would be fine.
That would be great.
Hi.
What are you doing home? It's a school day.
I just have a little bruise on my forehead.
Mrs.
Hartsell sent me home.
Let me see.
Hmm.
What happened? I sort of fell asleep in the middle of geography.
I hit my head on my desk.
In the middle of geography, huh? What do you think that is, boredom, or something else? Well, I'm having a little trouble sleeping.
I keep having these nightmares.
Really? Yeah.
Last night again? They caught the guy, Claud.
I mean, he's in jail.
You're completely safe.
There's really nothing to worry about anymore.
I know.
So what are we going to do about this? They say it makes it better to talk about it.
Okay.
Well, I'm in the house, right? And it's, like, completely empty, and everything's really creepy, you know? And I can hear you talking, and I'm, like, running after you, but I can't find you, and every time I open a new door to a new room, it's completely empty, and your voice-- your voice keeps getting softer and softer and softer.
So there's no guy with a gun, huh? Nope.
What's it mean, Charlie? I mean, do you know? Yeah.
I think so.
So a funny thing happened on the way to school this morning.
I felt bad about our fight, so I was going to buy you a flower and put it in your locker, and I went to pay for it, and I pulled out my wallet It was the first thing I saw, so it must have been the first thing you saw too.
Yeah.
So the fact that I have that, does that make you mad at me? I don't know.
It just kind of made me feel weird.
Weird? Like, weird how? I don't want to make you think that I'm ready for that when I'm not.
Because even though I know you love me and all that, when I think about that, I still, uh Do stupid things like quit dance marathons? Yeah.
So I think that kind of means not yet you know? Look, the only reason that I have that is because I figure someday-- maybe maybe soon, maybe not-- we might want to use it, and I'm not, like, in a big rush or anything, all right? I don't know.
It just all feels so complicated.
You know what? It's not that complicated this stuff, this fooling around stuff.
It's amazing.
I mean, I touch you, and I feel it everywhere.
It's like this big-- big whoosh.
I get that too.
Yeah, and that's good.
That's a good thing.
So as long as we keep feeling that whoosh, we're okay.
Right.
Okay? And this is what we'll do-- if you ever don't feel that you just say so.
Just say, "no whoosh"? "No whoosh," and we stop.
Okay.
It's warm.
Yeah.
I got an idea.
I didn't bring my bathing suit.
Neither did I.
Hi.
Hi.
Whoosh.
Hey.
Hey.
I'm a little late.
I'm sorry.
They were having this garage sale down the block, and I found that famous painting you know the one with the four dogs playing poker? And I didn't know whether or not to get it for you.
As a housewarming present? Well Yes.
But that's the problem, because getting it for you would mean that I was okay with you being here.
On the other hand, not getting it for you was like saying that I didn't understand what having your own place meant to you.
So you didn't buy it? No, actually, I did.
It's downstairs.
I couldn't bring it up myself.
It's kind of huge.
Will it fit in the back of my truck? Turns out I've already lived here.
Oh, different apartment, maybe, but I've already lived the life that I wanted to have here.
The partying, the drinking, the staying out all night and waking up with a hangover and some girl's number in my pocket.
I've been that guy, and I thought I wanted to be him again.
Turns out, and this is the funny thing: Turns out I don't really like that guy very much.
I mean, I don't like me when I'm him.
A year ago, I didn't have anyone to think about except for myself.
Nothing to tie me down.
I could just pick up, take off whenever I wanted.
No one needed me, I mean, really needed me.
And I used to think that made me the luckiest guy in the world.
You know? And now? Now So? I wanna know what it's like So To take you round I wanna know what it's like Let's go home.
With my feet off the ground Say I'm always Say I'm always I'll stay always I'll stay I'll stay