So Random! (2011) s01e21 Episode Script
Dylan, Cole Sprouse and Debby Ryan
Cartoon characters! When they do dangerous things on tv, They get laughs.
But when you do it in real life, You get in trouble.
Not anymore.
I'm Sally Jensen, kid lawyer.
And I fight for you! When my bike went missing, I wanted to solve the mystery like scooby-doo.
So I took my neighbor's great dane, Put him in my mom's minivan and kept.
Feeding him Scooby bites until he solved the crime.
But all that dog did was leave.
A big scooby-doo-doo all over the backseat.
Like zoinks, man.
It's not our fault the dog couldn't hold it, man.
Ri'm rinnocent.
Well, you're doing 20 years in jail! That's 140 in dog years.
- Ha! - Ruh-roh.
I wanted to impress my girlfriend By showing her how strong I was.
But I'm not that strong.
So I ate a can of spinach like popeye.
And tried to lift a car over my head.
Instead I pulled both arms out of their sockets.
So I called Sally Jensen.
Actually someone else called.
Because I pulled both arms out of my sockets.
So somebody else called me.
Oh, I'm innocent.
I'm innocent, I tells ya.
- Ah guh guh guh guh.
- Can it, "poopeye.
" You're never g-g-getting out of here.
Toot toot.
Can I at least have me spinach? I wanted to start my own band With three singing chipmunks.
But when I tried to put this sweater and glasses.
On the chipmunks in my yard, They viciously attacked me.
After a series of painful rabies shots, And now those singing chipmunks' next "squeak-quel" Will be in jail.
it's not our fault the kid was bit it's not a crime that we commit I can't believe they won't acquit .
Shut it! Okay.
Whether you've chased a roadrunner off a cliff, Were hit in the head by an anvil.
Or were walking around pantsless like half the cartoon characters on tv, I'll get you the justice you deserve.
Quicker than you can say.
Clang! I'm Sally Jensen and I fight for you! "so random!" it's a party, get down - "so random!" - It's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around a fantastic journey, a little bit of this and that you know we gonna chill, might not come back so if you're ready, get set 'cause it's time to roll with "so random!" stuff that's out of control surprises flying 'cause life's a riot so ride with us 'cause you need to try it we're on the way, it's time to hang so let's get random and do our thing come on It's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around "so random!" Give it up for the cast Of "so random!" Hey, everybody, we've got a great show for you tonight.
Our special guests Cole and Dylan sprouse! Thanks, you guys! We're so excited to finally be here.
Did you guys know that you're our first twin guest stars? - Really? - In your face, Mary Kate and Ashley! You know, is it true that a twin can finish each other's thoughts? Yes, actually.
And not just thoughts.
- Wanna see something cool? - Yeah.
- Oh no.
Oh wow, look at that! - That was amazing.
- That's cool.
- That's really good.
- Yeah.
And it's not just twins with that kind of connection.
It works with anyone who spends a lot of time together and are really close.
Oh, really? I find that hard to believe.
I don't really know how that works.
- Oh my God! - Ow, brain freeze! - Ow ow ow! - Told ya.
Cool! Well, we have a great show for you guys tonight.
Hey, stick around, guys.
We'll be right back! Ahh, stop it! shake that, shake that all around.
Ladies and gentlemen of the courtroom, Members of the jury, Sam Herman's defended a lot of people.
None of them were innocent, Except for that man! He's innocent! I don't believe it, but I think Sam Herman's.
- About to win his first case.
- Yeah.
Does the jury have a verdict? Yes, your honor.
We find the defendant - Here it comes.
- Not groovy! What? I object.
I'm as groovy as I am guilty.
What? No! Theresa, Theresa, stop typing that.
No, he's not guilty or groovy.
Your honor, groovy's not even a legal term.
It is now.
- All rise - Bailiff.
And get down! How are we supposed to hear "not guilty"? What's going on here? Can we just we've got to stop this.
Um, rocco.
Rocco, what are you doing? This is horrible for your case! No! I did not go to three weeks of online college for this! Wait! All right.
Sam Herman wants order in the courtroom! You should all be under arrest.
Your honor, your honor, Sam Herman demands a mistrial.
overruled! Of "so random!"'sR edition Coming up next on "so random!" are you okay? That's odd.
Everybody's checking out the new guys.
shake that, shake that all around.
What's up, class? It's me, your teach.
Mr.
Mr.
Mr.
Oh, roogie, man, oh! Does that look normal to you? Oh, that's That is gross.
Oh.
That that was my homework assignment! Yeah, you're gonna have to redo that one, Troy.
Mr.
Goodman, are you okay? - You sound terrible.
- I feel even worse.
A boring old normal teacher would probably.
Call in a substitute teacher.
When he has 105° fever and can barely.
Keep anything down Mr.
Goodman, are you contagious? Without a doubt, Steve.
Without a doubt.
See A boring old normal teacher would Would probably open up a window so as not to expose you all.
But I don't play by the rules.
Plus it's kind of freezing in here, don't you think? We need to crank up the heat.
Oh, let's get it right.
Oh, this is nice.
Oh, space heater.
Yes, that's nice.
Oh, so much heat.
Oh, it's so much oh, it's ferociously hot in here now.
Somebody open up a window this instant! Open the window, please! I'm trying.
No, not fast enough.
Saltine crackers! Ohhh, ahhh! - Now it's freezing again.
- It's January.
I know, right? Where's a space heater when you need it? You threw it out the window.
I think I'm just going to lay down for a while.
- Yeah.
- Just gonna lay down.
Right here.
Take a Cat nap.
Mr.
Goodman, can I get you anything? - That's odd.
- Are you okay? I don't remember a tortoise with a bow tie being in my classroom.
You're special.
You're unique.
It's me Lily, Mr.
Goodman.
Uh, mm-mr.
Goodman? I think you're hallucinating.
Don't be silly, Talking cactus.
Only a boring old normal teacher.
Would hallucinate when they're sick.
I, on the other hand, am going to stay here.
And teach all of you polka-dot penguins.
You guys are adorable.
You're so adorable.
You're a little polka-dot penguin.
I'm not going anywhere, because I I Peace out, class Ohhh! Ah.
Hey, I found my space heater.
Oh, it's too hot out here.
Class dismissed.
Ahh, nice day, huh? Oh.
Oh, I see how it's gonna be.
All right, staring contest.
It's on! Oh, you're good.
You're real good.
But I'm better.
Your eyes are getting tired.
I can feel it.
Oh my gosh, there's my mannequin.
Mannequin?! I've wasted my whole life.
On a staring contest with a mannequin? Did you say staring contest? It's on! Oh boy, bratwurst Wednesday I love it! They really went all out this time.
I know, and best of all I don't have to eat.
Next to that kid that sits downwind from me in chemistry class.
He is gassy! - Yeah, man, he stinks.
- Oh, gas.
Hey, that's me.
- I am Scott.
- And I am Elliot.
- And we are here - For lunch! Toyoooo! Gee, I wonder who spent all weekend watching anime cartoons.
Again.
I am hungry.
Ha! I am even hungrier.
- Nom nom nom nom nom nom.
- Nom nom nom nom.
- Nom nom nom nom.
- Nom nom nom nom Nom? Brother, why is no one impressed with our mass consumption of bratwurst? 'cause everybody is checking out the new guys.
Vroom vroom.
Greetings, earth humans.
I am Andy.
And I am the unit known as Joey.
Oh no, brother.
They seek to steal our thunder.
With their high-tech weaponry and futuristic headgear.
Then they are our enemies.
And we must destroy them.
We shall surprise them with koyashi spell of teleportation.
Warning: Cartoonish humans approaching our personal space.
Scan them for hostile intentions.
Critical observation: These humans pose no threat.
Ha! Conclusion: We may laugh at them.
Brother, they are laughing at us.
Ha, then we will laugh at them Even more forcefully! Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys! Can't we just eat our lunch in peace? Seriously.
That laugh is more annoying.
Than the kid who laughs every time he hears the word "poppycock.
" Hey, that's me.
Fact: Anime is of the past.
Fact: Botformers is of the future.
Conclusion: You will now.
Relinquish the school to us.
Never! We'll protect the school with every ounce of our power.
Food fight! Toyooo! Super double orange power strike! Yee-ahhh! Energizer sword! Yah! Heh heh heh! Let's go.
Whoa! What is going on in here? This is not how we behave at north midvalley South high.
Silence, human! You are in the presence Wait, did you say "north midvalley South high"? Oh no.
We're supposed to be at South midvalley north high.
Oh, stupid g.
P.
S.
Is always wrong! Because it's not a g.
P.
S.
! It's a water floaty! Get out of my school! - Go! - We've been exposed.
Assume the form of humiliation.
They are leaving in disgrace! We have protected the school from a robot invasion.
Yeah! Coming up next on "so random!" I can't believe the royal family and their jewels are going to be here on the ship.
Isn't this great, skippy? Hi, I'm Chad Dylan Cooper.
As a Hollywood legend, nothing interests me more.
Than the legends of Hollywood.
So welcome to Zack and cody you laughed at them in a hotel.
You enjoyed their hijinks on the high seas.
And you've seen all their episodes or have you? Today I bring you the real scoop.
Behind the lost episode of "suite life on deck," Starring skippy sprouse, The brother they never wanted you to meet.
It's not that we didn't want anyone to meet skippy.
It's just that everyone who has.
Met skippy wishes they hadn't.
The lost skippy episode had all the makings of a classic.
Like me.
The royal jewels were missing.
Moseby blamed Zack and Cody.
And skippy was supposed to admit he ate the jewels, thinking they were candy.
Classic.
Honest, Mr.
Moseby, We don't know where the royal jewels are.
Stranger danger, stranger danger, stranger danger! I told you this wasn't a good idea.
What? I told you this wasn't a gooidea! Oh no, skippy, skippy, skippy, calm down.
Did that scene 20 times.
That was the best one.
The sprouse brothers realized.
That the jewel thief scene was too intense for skippy.
So they decided to put him in a scene where.
Everyone was just having fun.
I can't believe the royal family and their jewels.
Are going to be here on the ship.
You should be used to royalty, Woody.
You're king of the buffet.
Isn't this great, skippy? I feel seasick.
No no, dude, that's not your line.
I told skippy he shouldn't be seasick.
Because we weren't on an actual boat.
Somehow that made him vomit even more.
Undeterred by skippy's lack of talent, Weird thumbs and extreme imaginary motion sickness, Dylan and Cole insisted on finishing the episode.
So they cut skippy's part way back.
To one line.
Here's your luggage, sir.
- So we cut his part even further back.
- To one word.
Luggage! Luggage was not the word.
Finally we just made him a sound effect a foghorn.
Off camera.
Well, Zack, we found the jewels.
Yeah, we did, Cody.
But more importantly, we found.
The true meaning of brother We found the true meaning Luggage? Since then I haven't been able to hear the word luggage without crying.
Or dry heaving.
I call it "cry heaving.
" But I think I finally have it under control.
Ahem, miss Ryan, your luggage is ready.
No one wants to tell a family member that they're terrible.
Except us.
We couldn't wait.
We actually played rock, paper, scissors to see who got to do it.
I won.
Apparently it can't be a "suite life" for all the sprouse brothers.
I'm Chad Dylan Cooper for "cooper's " You know, I still can't believe skippy's your brother.
Uh no, he's more Dylan's brother than mine.
Really? How does that make sense? Guys, no no.
Guys, it's just really nice to have the three of us back together.
- Get out of here.
- Why do you keep doing that? Why are you here? What happened to you? Luggage.
And now performing their new single "twice the fun.
" Give it up for Dylan and Cole sprouse! Sing to me! Go you! Go! No, we don't sing.
What Seriously!? - Boo.
- Yeah, I mean Even if we did, we wouldn't call it "twice the fun.
" Everyone knows that when you have your own show.
- You sing! - Yep.
Yep.
- What's wrong with you? - Hey, we had a great time tonight, guys! - Thanks for having us! - Yeah! with "so random!" stuff that's out of control surprises flying 'cause life's a riot so ride with us 'cause you need to try it we're on the way, it's time to hang so let's get random come on.
It's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around "so random!"
But when you do it in real life, You get in trouble.
Not anymore.
I'm Sally Jensen, kid lawyer.
And I fight for you! When my bike went missing, I wanted to solve the mystery like scooby-doo.
So I took my neighbor's great dane, Put him in my mom's minivan and kept.
Feeding him Scooby bites until he solved the crime.
But all that dog did was leave.
A big scooby-doo-doo all over the backseat.
Like zoinks, man.
It's not our fault the dog couldn't hold it, man.
Ri'm rinnocent.
Well, you're doing 20 years in jail! That's 140 in dog years.
- Ha! - Ruh-roh.
I wanted to impress my girlfriend By showing her how strong I was.
But I'm not that strong.
So I ate a can of spinach like popeye.
And tried to lift a car over my head.
Instead I pulled both arms out of their sockets.
So I called Sally Jensen.
Actually someone else called.
Because I pulled both arms out of my sockets.
So somebody else called me.
Oh, I'm innocent.
I'm innocent, I tells ya.
- Ah guh guh guh guh.
- Can it, "poopeye.
" You're never g-g-getting out of here.
Toot toot.
Can I at least have me spinach? I wanted to start my own band With three singing chipmunks.
But when I tried to put this sweater and glasses.
On the chipmunks in my yard, They viciously attacked me.
After a series of painful rabies shots, And now those singing chipmunks' next "squeak-quel" Will be in jail.
it's not our fault the kid was bit it's not a crime that we commit I can't believe they won't acquit .
Shut it! Okay.
Whether you've chased a roadrunner off a cliff, Were hit in the head by an anvil.
Or were walking around pantsless like half the cartoon characters on tv, I'll get you the justice you deserve.
Quicker than you can say.
Clang! I'm Sally Jensen and I fight for you! "so random!" it's a party, get down - "so random!" - It's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around a fantastic journey, a little bit of this and that you know we gonna chill, might not come back so if you're ready, get set 'cause it's time to roll with "so random!" stuff that's out of control surprises flying 'cause life's a riot so ride with us 'cause you need to try it we're on the way, it's time to hang so let's get random and do our thing come on It's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around "so random!" Give it up for the cast Of "so random!" Hey, everybody, we've got a great show for you tonight.
Our special guests Cole and Dylan sprouse! Thanks, you guys! We're so excited to finally be here.
Did you guys know that you're our first twin guest stars? - Really? - In your face, Mary Kate and Ashley! You know, is it true that a twin can finish each other's thoughts? Yes, actually.
And not just thoughts.
- Wanna see something cool? - Yeah.
- Oh no.
Oh wow, look at that! - That was amazing.
- That's cool.
- That's really good.
- Yeah.
And it's not just twins with that kind of connection.
It works with anyone who spends a lot of time together and are really close.
Oh, really? I find that hard to believe.
I don't really know how that works.
- Oh my God! - Ow, brain freeze! - Ow ow ow! - Told ya.
Cool! Well, we have a great show for you guys tonight.
Hey, stick around, guys.
We'll be right back! Ahh, stop it! shake that, shake that all around.
Ladies and gentlemen of the courtroom, Members of the jury, Sam Herman's defended a lot of people.
None of them were innocent, Except for that man! He's innocent! I don't believe it, but I think Sam Herman's.
- About to win his first case.
- Yeah.
Does the jury have a verdict? Yes, your honor.
We find the defendant - Here it comes.
- Not groovy! What? I object.
I'm as groovy as I am guilty.
What? No! Theresa, Theresa, stop typing that.
No, he's not guilty or groovy.
Your honor, groovy's not even a legal term.
It is now.
- All rise - Bailiff.
And get down! How are we supposed to hear "not guilty"? What's going on here? Can we just we've got to stop this.
Um, rocco.
Rocco, what are you doing? This is horrible for your case! No! I did not go to three weeks of online college for this! Wait! All right.
Sam Herman wants order in the courtroom! You should all be under arrest.
Your honor, your honor, Sam Herman demands a mistrial.
overruled! Of "so random!"'sR edition Coming up next on "so random!" are you okay? That's odd.
Everybody's checking out the new guys.
shake that, shake that all around.
What's up, class? It's me, your teach.
Mr.
Mr.
Mr.
Oh, roogie, man, oh! Does that look normal to you? Oh, that's That is gross.
Oh.
That that was my homework assignment! Yeah, you're gonna have to redo that one, Troy.
Mr.
Goodman, are you okay? - You sound terrible.
- I feel even worse.
A boring old normal teacher would probably.
Call in a substitute teacher.
When he has 105° fever and can barely.
Keep anything down Mr.
Goodman, are you contagious? Without a doubt, Steve.
Without a doubt.
See A boring old normal teacher would Would probably open up a window so as not to expose you all.
But I don't play by the rules.
Plus it's kind of freezing in here, don't you think? We need to crank up the heat.
Oh, let's get it right.
Oh, this is nice.
Oh, space heater.
Yes, that's nice.
Oh, so much heat.
Oh, it's so much oh, it's ferociously hot in here now.
Somebody open up a window this instant! Open the window, please! I'm trying.
No, not fast enough.
Saltine crackers! Ohhh, ahhh! - Now it's freezing again.
- It's January.
I know, right? Where's a space heater when you need it? You threw it out the window.
I think I'm just going to lay down for a while.
- Yeah.
- Just gonna lay down.
Right here.
Take a Cat nap.
Mr.
Goodman, can I get you anything? - That's odd.
- Are you okay? I don't remember a tortoise with a bow tie being in my classroom.
You're special.
You're unique.
It's me Lily, Mr.
Goodman.
Uh, mm-mr.
Goodman? I think you're hallucinating.
Don't be silly, Talking cactus.
Only a boring old normal teacher.
Would hallucinate when they're sick.
I, on the other hand, am going to stay here.
And teach all of you polka-dot penguins.
You guys are adorable.
You're so adorable.
You're a little polka-dot penguin.
I'm not going anywhere, because I I Peace out, class Ohhh! Ah.
Hey, I found my space heater.
Oh, it's too hot out here.
Class dismissed.
Ahh, nice day, huh? Oh.
Oh, I see how it's gonna be.
All right, staring contest.
It's on! Oh, you're good.
You're real good.
But I'm better.
Your eyes are getting tired.
I can feel it.
Oh my gosh, there's my mannequin.
Mannequin?! I've wasted my whole life.
On a staring contest with a mannequin? Did you say staring contest? It's on! Oh boy, bratwurst Wednesday I love it! They really went all out this time.
I know, and best of all I don't have to eat.
Next to that kid that sits downwind from me in chemistry class.
He is gassy! - Yeah, man, he stinks.
- Oh, gas.
Hey, that's me.
- I am Scott.
- And I am Elliot.
- And we are here - For lunch! Toyoooo! Gee, I wonder who spent all weekend watching anime cartoons.
Again.
I am hungry.
Ha! I am even hungrier.
- Nom nom nom nom nom nom.
- Nom nom nom nom.
- Nom nom nom nom.
- Nom nom nom nom Nom? Brother, why is no one impressed with our mass consumption of bratwurst? 'cause everybody is checking out the new guys.
Vroom vroom.
Greetings, earth humans.
I am Andy.
And I am the unit known as Joey.
Oh no, brother.
They seek to steal our thunder.
With their high-tech weaponry and futuristic headgear.
Then they are our enemies.
And we must destroy them.
We shall surprise them with koyashi spell of teleportation.
Warning: Cartoonish humans approaching our personal space.
Scan them for hostile intentions.
Critical observation: These humans pose no threat.
Ha! Conclusion: We may laugh at them.
Brother, they are laughing at us.
Ha, then we will laugh at them Even more forcefully! Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys! Can't we just eat our lunch in peace? Seriously.
That laugh is more annoying.
Than the kid who laughs every time he hears the word "poppycock.
" Hey, that's me.
Fact: Anime is of the past.
Fact: Botformers is of the future.
Conclusion: You will now.
Relinquish the school to us.
Never! We'll protect the school with every ounce of our power.
Food fight! Toyooo! Super double orange power strike! Yee-ahhh! Energizer sword! Yah! Heh heh heh! Let's go.
Whoa! What is going on in here? This is not how we behave at north midvalley South high.
Silence, human! You are in the presence Wait, did you say "north midvalley South high"? Oh no.
We're supposed to be at South midvalley north high.
Oh, stupid g.
P.
S.
Is always wrong! Because it's not a g.
P.
S.
! It's a water floaty! Get out of my school! - Go! - We've been exposed.
Assume the form of humiliation.
They are leaving in disgrace! We have protected the school from a robot invasion.
Yeah! Coming up next on "so random!" I can't believe the royal family and their jewels are going to be here on the ship.
Isn't this great, skippy? Hi, I'm Chad Dylan Cooper.
As a Hollywood legend, nothing interests me more.
Than the legends of Hollywood.
So welcome to Zack and cody you laughed at them in a hotel.
You enjoyed their hijinks on the high seas.
And you've seen all their episodes or have you? Today I bring you the real scoop.
Behind the lost episode of "suite life on deck," Starring skippy sprouse, The brother they never wanted you to meet.
It's not that we didn't want anyone to meet skippy.
It's just that everyone who has.
Met skippy wishes they hadn't.
The lost skippy episode had all the makings of a classic.
Like me.
The royal jewels were missing.
Moseby blamed Zack and Cody.
And skippy was supposed to admit he ate the jewels, thinking they were candy.
Classic.
Honest, Mr.
Moseby, We don't know where the royal jewels are.
Stranger danger, stranger danger, stranger danger! I told you this wasn't a good idea.
What? I told you this wasn't a gooidea! Oh no, skippy, skippy, skippy, calm down.
Did that scene 20 times.
That was the best one.
The sprouse brothers realized.
That the jewel thief scene was too intense for skippy.
So they decided to put him in a scene where.
Everyone was just having fun.
I can't believe the royal family and their jewels.
Are going to be here on the ship.
You should be used to royalty, Woody.
You're king of the buffet.
Isn't this great, skippy? I feel seasick.
No no, dude, that's not your line.
I told skippy he shouldn't be seasick.
Because we weren't on an actual boat.
Somehow that made him vomit even more.
Undeterred by skippy's lack of talent, Weird thumbs and extreme imaginary motion sickness, Dylan and Cole insisted on finishing the episode.
So they cut skippy's part way back.
To one line.
Here's your luggage, sir.
- So we cut his part even further back.
- To one word.
Luggage! Luggage was not the word.
Finally we just made him a sound effect a foghorn.
Off camera.
Well, Zack, we found the jewels.
Yeah, we did, Cody.
But more importantly, we found.
The true meaning of brother We found the true meaning Luggage? Since then I haven't been able to hear the word luggage without crying.
Or dry heaving.
I call it "cry heaving.
" But I think I finally have it under control.
Ahem, miss Ryan, your luggage is ready.
No one wants to tell a family member that they're terrible.
Except us.
We couldn't wait.
We actually played rock, paper, scissors to see who got to do it.
I won.
Apparently it can't be a "suite life" for all the sprouse brothers.
I'm Chad Dylan Cooper for "cooper's " You know, I still can't believe skippy's your brother.
Uh no, he's more Dylan's brother than mine.
Really? How does that make sense? Guys, no no.
Guys, it's just really nice to have the three of us back together.
- Get out of here.
- Why do you keep doing that? Why are you here? What happened to you? Luggage.
And now performing their new single "twice the fun.
" Give it up for Dylan and Cole sprouse! Sing to me! Go you! Go! No, we don't sing.
What Seriously!? - Boo.
- Yeah, I mean Even if we did, we wouldn't call it "twice the fun.
" Everyone knows that when you have your own show.
- You sing! - Yep.
Yep.
- What's wrong with you? - Hey, we had a great time tonight, guys! - Thanks for having us! - Yeah! with "so random!" stuff that's out of control surprises flying 'cause life's a riot so ride with us 'cause you need to try it we're on the way, it's time to hang so let's get random come on.
It's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around "so random!"