The O.C. (2003) s01e21 Episode Script

The Goodbye Girl

Previously on The O.
C.
: - Hi, Theresa.
- Hi, Marissa.
- Eddie.
- I'm looking for Theresa.
- We're engaged.
- Engaged? - You look good.
- I'm Marissa's mother.
You're a student.
- You mean it's over? - No, I'll see you tonight.
A friend's in trouble.
I want you to help him.
Uncle Shaun.
In that room you accidentally stumbled into were documents containing information valuable to Caleb.
- Construction's a dirty business.
- My answer's no.
And Kirsten? She's complicit in this.
- Do you love her? - I don't know.
Be ready to fight for her.
- I don't want you to go.
- Why don't I want to go? - But what kind of kiss was it? - I don't know.
A kiss.
My lips, Theresa's lips.
A kiss.
Lips.
Now, that's interesting.
Was there tongue? - I'm not answering that.
- Why? - You really want to know? - No.
But just tell me this: What level of kiss are we talking? Was it like a Christina-Madonna peck? Or was it a Britney-Madonna sort of smooch? Or was it like a full-on Al and Tipper Gore lip-Iock? - It was just a kiss.
- Okay.
So you guys a couple now? Is she staying here? If so, where's she gonna live? How? What's her credit like? What sort of lease is she looking to sign? Are we talking a year or month-to-month? - Or is she looking to buy? - There's no lease, okay? So then what? She goes back? What do you do? Commute back and forth from Chino? If you're commuting, whose car you gonna take? How you gonna pay for gas? What freeway is your freeway of choice? You gonna take the 55 to the 5? Or the 91 to the 71? If you take the 71 - Just, whoa.
- Okay.
I'll just whoa.
You guys kissed, and I think you should have a plan, because it's a big deal.
- You're making it a big deal.
- Really? I don't even know when I'd see her again.
- Hi.
- Theresa.
Hey.
Hey.
We were just discussing your plan.
- What plan? - Yeah, exactly.
I had the morning off, thought you'd need a ride to school.
- Oh, yeah.
Great.
- Yeah.
- I hope it's okay, me stopping by.
- It's fine.
Come on.
- Yeah.
Sure.
Why wouldn't it be? - Okay.
- Marissa.
Hello.
- Hey.
- Theresa.
Hi.
I didn't think you'd be - Staying? Yeah, well - What's up? - I thought maybe you'd need a ride to school.
- Oh.
Thanks.
Cool.
Well, I can go with Marissa, and Ryan and Theresa can go together.
- No.
No, Seth, really.
It's okay.
- It makes more sense if you take them.
Why? Because we go to the same school? Because I live here? I'll go with Marissa, and Ryan and Theresa can go Yeah.
Sorry.
You know what? - I should have called first.
- I should've called too.
- I'll just see you guys at school.
- I shouldn't just stop by.
I'm gonna go.
- No, wait, wait.
It's - Call me later.
We're hitchhiking.
- Morning, beautiful.
- Good morning.
Marissa.
Kirsten.
Sandy.
Well, you're not gonna believe who is Riviera Magazine's Man of the Year.
- Theresa.
- Mrs.
Cohen.
Mr.
Cohen.
Well, that's nice.
I mean, she really deserves the award.
Good kid.
It's my dad.
My vote stays with Theresa.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Is it a good morning? So, Ryan, a couple of your friends stopped by briefly.
- Yeah, we know.
It was awkward.
- Is Theresa staying? - Yeah.
Looks that way.
- I thought she was going home.
No.
Change of plans.
It's amazing.
His lips don't even move.
- Well, how long is she staying? - Well You tell them.
- We're figuring it all out.
- Is she gonna, what, rent a place? What kind of lease? Month-to-month? Year? Can she buy? - What you gonna do? - I'm this way for a reason.
- She's catering a tennis tournament.
- Is she gonna get a job after that? - What about the guy she's engaged to? - Is she going back to school? - School.
Bye.
- Now you know why I do the talking.
We're gonna need a ride, by the way.
Thanks.
I'll take them.
It's on my way to the office.
- So is my dad gonna be in a good mood? - Well, he should be.
- He's Man of the Year.
- I meant the case.
- Are you gonna take it? - I'm thinking about it.
We're gonna host the reception here for my dad's award.
And it would be nice if Uncle Shaun could be here.
Not if we have to pay for the bar tab.
I'm thinking about it.
Hey.
Hey.
Can I ask you something? Yeah.
Sure.
When you and I broke up, and I started dating Ryan was it hard for you to see us together? - Yeah.
But, hey, we wouldn't have broken up if I hadn't deserved it.
- I guess now I know what it feels like, huh? To deserve it.
The sooner you realize that it's never gonna go back to the way it was the sooner you can move on.
Okay.
I'll see you guys later.
- Hey, Ryan.
I'm sorry about this morning.
- No, no.
That's okay.
- I didn't realize she was gonna be there.
- Yeah.
There was a change of plans.
How long is she staying for? No, she's gotta find a job, a place to live.
- Minor details, huh? - Yeah.
Well, if you need any help Thanks.
- Check out Gramps.
He looks angry.
- That's because he is.
Why? He's on a magazine cover.
Hard to believe that doesn't leave him fulfilled.
Totally.
I know.
I love the society page.
It's like, suddenly, all of the people we know are famous.
- Diana Kahn totally got a chin implant.
- They have chin implants? My dad does them.
He says chins are the new nose.
- So did Picasso.
- Really? What hospital does he work for? Kidding.
I'm not that dumb.
Just shallow.
Is all this talk of Newport and plastic surgery boring you, Anna? No.
Actually, I'm savoring it.
I won't be hearing it much longer.
I'm leaving.
- You getting dessert? - No.
I'm going back to Pittsburgh.
- What? - I'm gonna go live with my aunt and uncle.
I've just kind of had enough of Newport so I'm leaving.
Park-ranger cadet? Full-time position available.
I wouldn't look good in the hat.
You'd get to put out forest fires.
Moving on.
Classifieds are Depressing? - We'll find something.
We'll figure it out.
- I know.
I'm glad you called me to come meet you.
Who knew being unemployed could be so much fun? I gotta get to class.
- It will be okay.
- Okay.
Kaitlin.
Hi.
Hi, Luke.
What's going on? Well, I just finished school for the day, you know, which is always a good thing.
I so know what you mean.
- Luke.
What are you doing here? - We're talking, Mom.
Go get ready.
Daddy's coming to take you to dinner.
So I'll see you soon? Luke, you know not to come to the house.
- We meet at the motel.
- I just thought that you needed help with your DSL.
Luke, as much as I want high-speed Internet access it's not worth Kaitlin becoming suspicious.
Hey, Jules.
Luke.
Luke just came by to defrag my hard drive.
Okay.
Hurry along, Luke.
Make it quick.
I'll make sure Kaitlin's ready.
Hey, should I put another piece of swordfish on for Theresa? Or Marissa? Or any other ladies you plan on having over? - I was gonna go pick up Theresa, so - Done and done.
So how's that going with you guys? Good.
Just trying to figure it out.
- "It" being? - Pretty much everything.
- You want to know what I think? - You're gonna tell me either way.
Like my own son.
You're in high school, she should be you're both in way over your heads.
She's got no real job, no place to live.
- Don't ask if she can stay here.
- I wouldn't.
Good.
You have no idea what Kirsten did the last time I floated such a concept.
Theresa's got family in Chino.
She's got a life in Chino.
Running away is not the answer.
I know.
- It's kind of crazy.
- No.
It's sweet.
It's totally misguided, but it's kind of charming.
You gotta tell her.
It's time she faced the music.
Or at least the fianc Á.
And you're gonna do that thing with the white lights in your back yard, right? - Of course, Dad.
- Good.
I love the white lights.
- And no cilantro.
I hate cilantro.
- You're Man of the Year.
I think they can make some food without cilantro.
I'll have to make a toast.
You've got that '73 Dom in your wine cellar, yes? I think you went through that on your birthday.
- Kirsten.
Mr.
Nichol.
- Why don't you call him Caleb.
- Congrats on your award.
- Means nothing.
They're lucky I agreed to pose for their front cover.
Use that in your speech.
Want me to set a place for Theresa? - I'll get back to you on that one.
- I'm gonna go check on the Dom.
- I was thinking chardonnay for dinner.
- No, get the pinot.
Do what you like.
It's your house.
I'm just making a salad.
Man of the Year and still so modest.
I'm so glad to see it hasn't gone to your head, Cal.
The case.
Have you made your decision? I've decided what it'll take to make me decide.
You tell Kirsten everything.
- She's better off not knowing.
- She's not.
You are.
She is already implicated, without her knowledge.
Then why worry her? - This may all go away, you know.
- It may not.
I won't spend the next year lying to her.
So if you want my help, you tell her everything.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- We should talk.
- I have news.
You go first.
I just got off the phone with Eddie.
And I told him I'm not coming home anytime soon.
- You did? - He didn't take it well.
But now that I did it, which I can't believe I did I feel so much more free or something.
What did you want to talk about? How do you feel about swordfish? - So she's leaving.
- No, she's staying.
What? When did you talk to Anna? She told me she's going back to Pittsburgh.
- Anna's going back to Pittsburgh? - Not anymore, according to you.
- I'm totally confused.
- She, Anna, is leaving.
She, Theresa, is staying.
Right.
Got it.
- So she really is leaving.
- That sucks.
Do you think it's because of me? I can't believe I caused a girl to leave the state.
- The county, maybe.
Sure.
Fine.
- You really think it's because of you? Well, I mean, we broke up, she went back East, she had a great time she comes back, only to see me standing on a coffee cart declaring my love for Summer.
Maybe she just doesn't feel that comfortable here.
I know.
I get that.
But if it is because of me, maybe I can talk her out of it.
Except I can't ask her if it's because of me without sounding totally self-absorbed.
And I'm not self-absorbed, right, Ryan? Me.
Me.
- Me.
- Sorry.
Just thinking about Theresa.
- She's staying.
What am I gonna do? - She's leaving.
What am I gonna do? Kiki, thanks for meeting me.
- Is everything okay? - Why don't you have a seat.
Is it Uncle Shaun? The hotel room that he accidentally stumbled into the other day - Joel McKuin was staying there.
- That's quite a coincidence.
Joel McKuin is the leading lumber supplier on the West Coast.
Not such a coincidence.
It's not the first time that he's accidentally stumbled into a hotel room.
It's just the first time he's got caught.
I knew Uncle Shaun was a tough negotiator.
And, yeah, he sent extra-nice Christmas presents to certain Teamsters.
Breaking and entering? Theft? What else? Blackmail? Racketeering? - Is he going to jail? - Not if Sandy can help it.
Well, if he can't, are they gonna go after you? I'm afraid it's not just me.
Hey.
- Catching up on Western civ? - Yeah, Spanish Inquisition.
Lot of fun.
Tell me about it.
Could they give us any more reading? - Get up.
- Eddie.
Eddie, what's going on? You know exactly what's going on.
- You sleep with her? - No.
No.
No? Then why'd she call me and say she's not coming back? - Why would she stay here? - This isn't the right time.
No, don't touch me.
After all I did for you growing up.
The least you can do is be honest with me.
Now, you be a man, and you tell me.
- Are you sleeping with her? - No.
Excuse me.
This lounge is for faculty and students only.
I'm not letting her go.
Anna.
Hey.
- Hi.
- This is nice weather we're having.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, did you hear? The Lakers won.
- Oh, did they? - Yeah.
Yeah, they did.
There's something else I wanted to talk to you about.
What was it? That's it.
You're leaving.
- Why the hell are you leaving? - You know, I'm late for class.
- You got at least three minutes.
- It's too complicated.
Why don't you start with one reason.
There's gotta be one main, overriding reason.
- Fine.
Look, I miss the seasons.
I miss fall foliage.
I miss the snow.
I miss the first signs of spring.
- You miss the seasons? - Yeah, and And? And my little dog, Swifty.
We left him with my aunt and uncle.
And the Jimmy Stewart Museum.
And Peanut Butter Cup Pie at Dingbats.
The vinyl selection at Record Village.
And Sundays, the SuperFlea Fleamarket.
I guess I did get it into three minutes, huh? So that's it? There's not, like, one other reason? - Did I say Peanut Butter Cup Pies? - Yeah.
- Then, no.
- Good.
Excellent.
Tomorrow, we're having this thing for my grandpa - I leave tomorrow.
- Not without saying goodbye.
- I'll come say goodbye.
- Okay.
Is there anything I can do to help? - You, Theresa? - Yeah, sure.
She needs a job and a place to live, if you got anything.
Does she need a friend? I could help out there.
Invite her to Caleb's party.
We'll all hang out.
Why the hell would you want that? Look, I'm used to getting what I want.
Which I know is not the most attractive quality.
But I also know I can't compete with a girl you've known your whole life.
Not after everything that's just come between us.
I don't think she has clothes, a dress, for it.
But thanks.
Hey.
- How was the rest of your day? - I wanted to see how you were doing.
After the Heights, I knew that my dad wasn't aboveboard.
But this is beyond anything that I could have imagined.
We're gonna figure this out.
You better believe I'll do all I can to protect you.
No.
I don't want you to.
I'm going to get outside counsel.
I do not want you involved.
When I asked for your help, I had no idea what I was asking you for.
- I know that.
- But this is my mistake, not yours.
And I will not let you compromise yourself, not even for me.
I'm gonna call the caterers.
Make sure that there's no cilantro for the Man of the Year.
She's lying.
I know it.
- What? Who? - Anna.
- You're thinking about Anna right now? - I just I just wish I could convince her not to leave because of me.
You think she's leaving just because of you? It makes sense, doesn't it? Yeah.
But even if I thought it, I wouldn't say it.
I mean, it's a little self-absorbed, Cohen.
- I just never wanted to hurt her feelings.
- Maybe she just doesn't like it here.
I hear there are a few people who don't.
It does rain sometimes in January.
I'm kind of I'm kind of hungry.
You want to eat? Thanks.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Are you still good at foot massages? I've been on my feet - We gotta talk.
- So no foot massage? Listen.
Listen, I don't know what to do about us.
I can't get you a job, a place to live.
- I live in a pool house.
- Shut up.
Shut the hell up.
I don't need you to take care of me.
- I can take care of myself.
- I know, I know.
I am not one of these Newport chicks that needs a trust fund to survive.
But the fact that you thought I needed you is really great.
Sweet.
Sexy.
What about Eddie? I told Eddie that I can't marry him right now.
Just because you're okay with it doesn't mean he is.
I'm not okay with it, I just know it's for the best.
I'm here to be with you.
Are we doing this? It's not like we haven't before.
- What's the matter? - It's not like home.
I got people that notice if I don't get back.
I had the day off.
If you want to go to the beach or to the pier tonight - Actually, I have a thing.
- A thing? Kirsten's dad is being honored by some magazine.
They're having a cocktail party at the Cohen house.
You You want to come? Do you want me to come? - I'm kind of getting the vibe that - No.
Yeah.
No.
It's just, you know what these things are like, these people And it might be kind of weird.
The girl who serves food at the party is now a guest at the party.
I wasn't saying that.
- I feel like you're not trying to invite me.
- No, I do.
I am.
I didn't think you'd want to go.
I don't want to go.
I want to make sure you're not embarrassed to bring me to things.
I'm not.
Good.
I have nothing to wear anyway.
But come over after, and we can both wear nothing.
Well, if you keep looking up like that, all you're gonna see is a bad shot.
Hey, Hodes.
How are things at the DA's office? Better since you left the PD's office.
My people seem to win a few more.
That's why I left.
I started feeling bad for you.
So why don't I think it's a wild coincidence to see you here? You have trust issues.
That's why you've never been married.
Well, saves me a phone call.
We have a deal to offer your client.
Client? Shaughnessy.
- He's not my client.
- That's not what he said.
He's drunk most of the time.
You can't take anything he says very seriously.
We're taking what we think he has to say very seriously.
Just out of curiosity what kind of deal were you gonna offer him? - Curiosity? - Yeah, mild.
Okay, if he were to cooperate, let us know who signs his marching orders we'd plead him down to a lesser charge.
Unless the plaintiff decides to drop the charges.
Then he would have no reason to talk.
Except the plaintiff has no reason to do that.
Right? Let me tell you something, Sandy.
The Newport Group is Orange County's Enron.
You make this just a little difficult for me and I'll come down on you as hard as I can.
- This must be a reelection year.
- Oh, spare me.
You and I have been friends for years.
That's why Caleb Nichol hired you.
It used to be, Sandy Cohen's moral compass wouldn't point him anywhere except the direction of truth.
No matter who he took down.
Spoken like a man who's never been married.
I just can't hit it any better than that.
Good to see you again.
- Hey, man, where you been? - Theresa's.
- Your parents say anything? - No, I covered for you.
You shouldn't do this.
You're sleeping there? That's serious.
- I fell asleep.
- I heard about some scary guy that showed up at school.
Was it Eddie? - He came to talk.
- Yeah? About how it's getting serious between you and Theresa? - You and Anna? You talk? - Do not change the subject to me.
I'm powerless not to talk about it.
I tried.
She had a list of reasons why she's leaving.
- Didn't make the cut? - She's lying.
I want her to know that I'm sorry I hurt her feelings.
But she doesn't have to do this.
She shouldn't be doing this.
- Then just tell her.
- Just tell her, huh? Simple.
Honest.
No wonder I never considered it.
Okay, fine.
I'll tell her tonight.
Might have to have a little bubbly first.
A little veritas in vino, know what I mean? Hardly ever.
Coming.
Hey.
Come in.
- How are you? - Good.
What's going on? - Well, there's this party tonight, and - I heard.
Yeah, well, I thought maybe you'd want to go.
I can't.
I didn't really bring any of my nice clothes with me.
Well, I have some options.
Hello? Hello? Hey, Joel.
Thanks for getting back to me.
No, actually, now's a perfect time.
- Come on.
Smile for your father, Kiki.
- I'm smiling on the inside.
Veritas in vino.
Yeah.
Then we have a deal? Why spend a lot of money when you can make a lot? Yeah.
Caleb'll be pleased.
Yes, Mr.
McKuin, I'm fully aware.
We do what we must.
Theresa coming? Nope.
Marissa? I doubt it.
Look, I get why you're doing what you're doing, but she does really love you.
- I know.
It's just - Yeah.
The Oliver thing.
I know.
It was messed up.
But, hey, she dated Luke for years.
You can't always trust her judgment.
But she has a good heart.
Not your typical back-yard barbecue.
Yeah, well, they never are.
You I had some help.
Coop.
- That's a nice one, sir.
- Right here, please.
Eyes right here.
Come on, Seth.
Get in the picture.
You are the future of the company.
There's something to look forward to.
You'll grow out of comic books and grow into wanting to be rich.
No, I won't.
- Hey.
- Hi.
I just came to say goodbye.
My plane's leaving soon.
- You're really leaving.
- Yeah.
Well, you might not believe this, but I'm gonna miss you.
What's more unbelievable is that I'm gonna miss you.
Pretty unbelievable.
- Bye, Blanche.
- See you, Rose.
Have you seen Molly Miller's boob job? They're huge.
Lois Robin's face-lift? Diane Kahn totally had chin implants.
They have chin implants? Oh, yeah.
Chins are the new nose.
Haven't you heard? - Hey, Anna.
Theresa.
- Nice to meet you.
Came to say goodbye to Seth? Yeah.
Could you give him this? It's supposed to say everything that I couldn't say.
But now that I'm here, I just can't say anything at all.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Of course.
See you, Ryan.
Thanks for teaching me how to waltz.
Have the best life.
You deserve it.
- Bye.
- Bye.
You look so hot.
Not here, Luke.
Behave.
I know.
It's just your ass.
We do all right.
Excuse me, guys.
Thanks.
I saw the DA today.
It didn't go what I would call "well.
" I thought he was your friend.
You made deals all the time.
It's an election year.
It seems you're not too popular with the people.
That the best you could do? I need to make my toast.
I'll make this go away, but you'll have to give something up.
Joel McKuin needs to be the chief supplier for the next big Newport Group contract.
You won't be buying wholesale, but it'll work.
- I knew I could rely on you.
- Not if you were Man of the Century.
What's the matter, Sandy? You cut deals for your clients all the time.
Yeah, well, usually, they're the ones that have broken the law, not me.
Mr.
Nichol, it's time for your speech.
Right this way.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure - Hey, Jules.
- James.
Now, forgive me, this can't possibly be happening, right? - I'm crazy to even think it, right? - Think what? Okay, that's what I thought.
Because it would destroy Marissa.
We know she's been through enough.
Honestly, Jimmy, I don't know what you're talking about.
- Now, Caleb's speaking.
- It really is a tremendous honor.
Few publications better represent this great county of ours than Riviera Magazine.
I'll be right back.
I'm gonna give Seth his letter.
Okay.
I'll be here, trying to spot the chin implants.
My story has its own cast of characters.
One doesn't become Riviera Man of the Year without some help.
Where would I be without my wonderful family? My beautiful daughter Kirsten, and my favorite Well, my only grandson, Seth.
Come join me.
- What are you doing here? - I just want to talk.
Can't you listen? - Let's go somewhere and figure this out.
- I'm not going anywhere.
Stay the hell away from me.
You're lucky I don't kick your ass right here.
- Look, can we please just go? - Let go! What the hell is going on? Why don't you leave before the cops get here.
- You're dead! - Right now.
Don't ever come home.
You're dead.
You hear me? Get off me, man.
Oh, that's gonna be quite a shiner.
But, hey, they look good on you.
Yeah? Thanks.
I'm so sorry.
About everything.
Oh, it's okay, sweetie.
It's not your fault.
Hey, I heard there was a rumble in the bedroom.
I'm gonna go break it up.
You okay? - I can't believe Anna didn't show.
- Actually - You're just giving me this now? - I was a little distracted.
The ink's all smudged.
I can't even read it.
Is that a V or a Q? Okay, here, look.
Right there.
That says, "I love you.
" Then what is that word? "Azerbaijan"? "Aztecs"? - Aspirin.
- It says "aspirin"? - You're giving me a headache.
- "Confucius"? What's this C-word? - Confusing? - "Confusing"? No.
You're confusing me.
What do you care what it says? Anna couldn't even say goodbye.
She's leaving because of me.
- I don't want it to happen.
- What is going on? Last week, you're on a coffee cart declaring your eternal love for me.
Now you're all like, "Anna's letter.
I can't read it.
" This isn't like that, okay? She's just my friend, and I don't want her to leave.
Then go.
Stop her.
- So, what are you gonna do? - I need to call Eddie.
Try and straighten everything out.
It's gonna be okay.
I'm sorry to interrupt.
I need you to drive me to the airport.
I gotta stop Anna.
- You can't drive yourself? - I've had three glasses of champagne.
You know how it goes straight to my head.
Please.
- You should go.
He needs you.
- Thank you very much.
You're gonna be at the motel when I get back? I don't want you to be late.
Hey, Juju.
- I wondered if you'd ignore me all night.
- You seemed busy.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks for coming.
Can I drive you home? - I can walk down the driveway.
- Can I call you? Take you out on a real date? Things have gotten a bit crazy.
Now, I know I didn't appreciate you.
I want to.
I want to make you feel appreciated.
Plan the perfect date, run it by me.
We'll see.
Come on, man.
Her flight leaves soon.
I'm doing 75 in a 65, all right? "I'm doing 75 in a" Everyone knows 80 is the new 75.
- What? Who talks like that? - What is up with this a.
c.
? My Jewfro is frizzing out.
I look like Screech.
- The a.
c.
's fine.
- What is this music? Do not insult Journey.
All right? - Hey.
- Hey.
How are you? Just embarrassed.
I can't believe it, this huge fight at a fancy party.
Actually not the first time that's happened.
Here.
I'm not gonna have time to get it dry-cleaned before I go.
Before you go? I've been fooling myself thinking this was gonna be easy.
I made a huge mess of everything, and I have this whole life to figure out.
And so does Ryan.
So take care of him.
I'll see you.
I talked to my dad.
He told me what you did.
Obstructed justice.
Tampered with a witness.
So, what happens now? My guess is, not much.
Since it's an election year, the DA can't afford to lose.
And without this star witness, they don't really have a case.
And if you're gonna go after the king, Caleb then you had better know you can kill the king.
I told you I didn't want you to get involved.
- I do what's best for my family.
- I'd rather go to jail than be responsible for you being mixed up in this, getting into bed with my father.
I promise you, I'd rather send you to jail than get into bed with your father.
You do something like this, there's no going back.
Yeah.
It's kind of like prom night.
Believe me.
If anybody's gonna be putting you in handcuffs it's gonna be me.
Anna! - Anna, wait.
- Seth? Hold on.
Seth, what are you doing here? Okay.
Maybe it's just the champagne talking, but I'm just gonna say it.
Okay? - Please do not leave because of me.
- What? What are you? You love me.
I read it.
And I get it.
Okay? And I'm so sorry if I did anything to hurt your feelings.
Or cause this.
But I don't want you to leave.
Okay? None of us do.
Seth, I love you as a friend.
- What? - God, I love you as a friend.
That doesn't say "Azerbaijan"? Look, I think you're an amazing guy.
A little self-absorbed, maybe, but great.
But, I mean, if there's one thing that our relationship taught me, it's that we don't have a lot of chemistry.
So you're not leaving because of me? I'm leaving because I need to leave.
But who knows? Maybe one day, we'll be perfect for each other.
I don't know.
I do know I have to go to Pittsburgh.
I'm Ionely, Seth.
I thought I could make this my home, but I can't.
Thanks for coming and saying goodbye.
Anna, wait a second.
What am I gonna do without you? Who will I play Jenga with? You're so wise.
All your sage wisdom.
What am I gonna do without that? Confidence, Cohen.
Anna! I'll be right back.
What if the girl I'm supposed to be with just went back to Pittsburgh? What if she went back to Chino? Why would Anna go to Chino? - I'm kidding.
Come on.
- Nice one.
Well, at least we have each other.
Actually, I have Summer now.
But I'll put a little Seth-Ryan time on the books.
- That's quality time.
- Thanks, buddy.
I could always hang out with Luke.
What do you think he's doing right now? Discovering fire? Hunting and gathering? Shaving his chest with a Buck Knife? You guys could do that together.
I do do that.

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