Wishbone (1995) s01e21 Episode Script

What's the story, Wishbone?
What's this your dreaming of such big
imagination on such a little part?
What's the story, Wishbone?
Do you think it's worth a look?
It kinda seems familiar
like a story from a book.
Shake a leg now, Wishbone.
Let's wag another tale.
Swinful, not on adventure,
with Wishbone on the trail.
Come on, Wishbone.
What's the story, Wishbone?
Watch the story, Wishbone.
Watch the story, Wishbone.
Watch the story, Wishbone.
What's the story, Wishbone?
Watch the story, Wishbone.
Cookie!
Mm-hmm, um-hmm.
All right, Cookie jar.
I will now bring you to me
using only the power of my mind.
Ready?
Come here!
The amazing wishpony, command you!
Hum!
Mm-hmm mimimimimimimimimimim
Resisting me, are you?
Well, we'll see whose will is stronger.
Whispon!
Joe!
This isn't over yet, cookie jar!
Joe! You look hungry!
How about a little help
with the cookie jar, buddy?
Hey, Wusper!
Welcome, this Daniel.
Just go ahead and put
everything in the study.
So, Nathaniel's my new roommate, huh?
That's great!
Welcome to my room! Make yourself at
home just throw your things anywhere!
Um, not there, though. That's my chair.
Oh, uh, hey, Joe, you don't
want to leave that there?
At three o'clock, the sun comes in on
that spot, so I'll be napping, and
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, that
thing is all wrong for this room!
Look at the color!
It's too
Blue!
It reminds me of water and
bath time, and ugh! Has to go!
It's not going, isn't it?
Well, I think that's
just about everything.
Thanks.
I wish my mom would repaint
the house every weekend.
Hmm, so you're allergic
to paint fumes, sir?
We're not sure.
but my mom thinks better safe than sorry.
This is a list from my mom of everything
I'm allergic to, broken
down by food group.
Each allergy has a phone
number next to it, you see?
Oh, these numbers here.
Right. That's the number for
which medicine I should take
if I accidentally eat or
inhale any of those things.
The medicine list is on the last page.
This addendum has a list of
possible but unconfirmed allergies.
We're waiting.
Oh.
I see.
Great.
Boy, if you look for sickness,
that may be all you find.
Maybe Nathaniel needs someone to show
him the power of mine over matter.
He needs someone like Molière.
Molière lived in France
over 300 years ago,
and he was the most famous
playwright of his time.
Welcome to the theater,
madame and monsieur.
I am, of course, Molière, the author of
tonight's play, the imaginary invalid.
What I have written is farce, that
is a comedy, to illustrate a point.
Speaking of points, I need someone
to help me point out the characters,
so I have written in my
own servant, Twanette!
This play concerns me as Argon
who imagines that he's sick.
I need to know who really loves me.
Is it my doctors, Pejon and Florent?
My second wife and her lawyer?
Or is it my brother and daughter?
Or is it my brother and daughter?
Let's see you.
Twanette! Where's my set?
In real life, of course, I'm a nice guy.
But tonight, I play the role of Argonne.
He's a little gruff.
But don't worry, his bark
is worse than his bite.
Let the performance begin!
Let the performance begin!
It's about time!
I could have died twice.
and the time it took you to get here.
Master, I came running as fast as I can.
When was the last time
you got up and ran?
It's 829. Time for my 17th pill.
Bring me some water, you fool,
and take care not to spill.
Again, Master Argon,
you just had your last.
You don't! You moron!
I'm dying! Make it fast!
My heart's palpitating!
Oh, I've got a stitch!
All you've got is money. You're
making poor doctors rich.
Just keep your shirt on.
I'll get you your water.
Make it quick, you fool.
And then, bring me my daughter.
Your daughter?
My daughter! I mean
Angelique! Go get her!
I'm going, you cross the antique!
Oh, I shouldn't be running.
Oh, I shouldn't be running.
If I caught her out of socked her.
Ouch, I need an injection.
Better call the doctor.
Doctors cost too much cash.
But when Angelique comes to
me, I'll make her marry one.
And I'll be examined for free!
Wow, did she include anything
for donkey digestion?
How about tender paw?
All right, Nathaniel.
I'm going to put all of the medicines your
mother sent right here on the counter.
Okay?
Okay.
Let's see.
Cough syrup, cough drops,
decongestants, stomach soother,
ear drops, eyedrops, poison ivy
lotion, elastic bandages, inhaler,
and a snakebite kit,
just in case we need it.
That's a lot of stuff.
Yeah, my mom likes to
be ready for a disaster.
How about a cookie?
Oh, I better check the food allergy list.
Are there a chocolate chip?
Oatmeal raisin?
That should be okay.
Okay.
Ah, look deep into my eyes, Nathaniel.
You are totally under my power.
Now, listen closely.
Listen closely.
Feed the dog.
Feed the dog.
Hmm, you're not hypnotized, are you?
All right.
Looks like we'll have to do
it the old-fashioned way.
Oh, please!
Please look at the cute
daughter giving some cookie.
Please, please, please, please,
please, please, please, please, please.
It's cheap, but it works.
So your mom likes to be prepared, huh?
Well, she's just very thorough.
Well, they didn't know,
but I had asthma when I was
born and I was really sick, since
didn't my mom really worries about me.
Well, I understand. I worry a lot too.
You do?
What about me?
Does anybody worry about my help?
Of course I do.
All parents worry.
We can't help it.
We take care of you and someday
you may have to take care of us.
In the imaginary invalid,
Argonne wanted his
daughter to take care of
him by marrying a doctor.
He was kind of selfish, though,
because she loved someone else.
Where is my daughter?
I need her right now.
She waits in the hall,
so don't have a cow.
You sent for me, father?
Whatever is wrong.
My money's the matter.
It won't last very long.
The bills are too heavy for me to carry.
So I found the doctor
whom you will marry.
Why?
What's the matter there,
Angelique, sweetie?
You look all pale, and
your eyes have gone be.
I'm the sick one here.
Let's keep that in mind.
I'm sorry, Papa, but it's awful to find
the direction this conversation is heading.
It seems we have different
friends for my wedding.
You see, I met this guy.
Well, you hadn't heard?
Well, you'll marry Diaphoris,
and that's the last word.
Oh!
Now you've done it.
You're such a cruel man.
Do you really think you
can win with this plan?
Of course I do. You wench!
I'll bite off your arms.
Master, please.
Try to stay calm.
Just let me ask you one simple thing.
I am.
Go ahead.
Master, I hate to bring this
up, but are you really sick?
Am I really sick?
Are you dumb, dense, or thick?
Look at me, Twanette.
I'm as sick as a dog.
My stomach's a mess
and my head's in a dog.
I can barely stand up.
I can hardly move.
So nothing I say can change
you or prove that you're wrong.
But if you're really ill, then go
see a doctor and then pay the bill.
Well, those bills do add up.
So this little cutie must marry a doctor.
It's her daughterly duty.
And I'm her dad, so what I say is
the law and no one can stop me!
You take your paw off of her now!
I won't let you do it!
Won't let me.
My servant, you just blew it!
She'll marry him!
You fool!
No, she won't!
Yes, she will!
No, she won't!
Yes, she will!
Oh man!
Hey, you can't do that.
He's like, yeah, it's a king.
Kings can do anything.
All right.
Oh, man.
One more game.
Um, sure.
Ah, that's probably the pizza I
ordered with my psychic powers.
Don't move.
I'll open the door from here.
McFaddle, your mom's here.
My mother?
Your mother delivers pizza?
We'd better give her a big tip.
I don't mean to be any
bother, Ellen, but I found
Nathaniel's vitamin
schedule on his dresser,
and you know how kids
are about their medicine.
Oh, right.
No, it's fine, Belinda.
We're so excited to have her.
Nathaniel, they've been
having such a good story.
Nathaniel, you look a little pale.
Are you feeling all right, honey?
I'm fine, Mom.
Did you take your anihistamine today?
Yes, well.
The dog.
Oh, Ellen, I just wanted to ask
you if you think that this
Oh, I'm sorry.
What is it? What's wrong?
You have a dog.
How observant?
Yes. That's Wishbone.
Are you, um, scared of dogs?
Uh, no.
I
I love dogs.
Oh.
Nice doggy.
Good boy.
Oh, sure.
Nice doggy.
You can't fool me.
You're either a dog person or you're not.
She's not.
But Nathaniel's allergic to dogs.
He is?
He is?
I am?
Yes.
Mom, I don't see dogs anywhere.
What?
But you are very, very,
very allergic to dogs.
That's why we don't have one.
They make it impossible
for him to breathe.
The hair aggravates his sinuses
and they give him hives.
Oh, and what about dander?
You should see him scratch.
Great clouds of dander everywhere.
Oh, a few flakes. Is that a crime?
I don't know how I could have forgotten.
Oh, come on, Nathaniel. You
don't believe that, do you?
You're not allergic to me.
I'm one of those new non-allergenic dogs.
Hey.
That wasn't to sneeze.
He said, cute.
He's telling you he thinks
I'm cute, right, Nate?
Achim!
I'm really sorry, Mom. I forgot.
Oh, you poor dear.
Don't worry. We'll get you a hotel room.
Oh, um, no, no. It'll be okay.
Um, Joe, why don't you
put Wishbone in the yard
and then, um, I'll vacuum all the rugs.
Nathaniel, you can stay in Joe's room,
and I'll put Wishbone in
the study for the weekend.
Put me in the study?
I'm sorry to cause all
this trouble, Ellen,
but Nathaniel's so sensitive.
Don't be silly. It'll be fine.
Uh, no, it won't, actually.
Let's be reasonable, people.
Let me put it this way.
Don't lock me in this study!
I'm really sorry, Joe.
I can't help it.
True, but neither can't Joe. He loves
me too much to lock me away, right Joe?
You'd never do that, pal, right?
Think of all the things
I do for you. I put
your tennis balls, I catch your frisbees.
I finish his dinner!
I can't!
Joe?
Well, this has been a fun afternoon.
I'm not making Nathaniel sick.
His mother is.
Just like Argon's wife
in the imaginary invalid.
What I want more than anything
is for you to be well.
If you need more doctors,
I have some things I could
sell.
No, no, my dearest.
I had plenty of money.
That's what I want to discuss,
my dear snuggle bunny.
I'm not getting younger
and I'm feeling so ill
that I think it's time
that we spoke of my will.
Oh no!
I can't bear it to think of you dead.
It's too much. It's awful.
But what's that, you said?
By law, all my will,
will go to my daughter.
But you're so dear and so frail
that I think that I ought to
Oh, don't say it.
It can't be.
But how much did you say
you were leaving to me?
All of it, my sweet.
I wish it were more.
I just happened to have a
lawyer just outside the door.
It's horrible, awful.
But if it makes you happy.
Get the papers, you jerk.
Come on.
Make it snappy.
Tie me to a tree, William.
Well, you obviously haven't reckoned with
the superior power of mind over matter.
For the great wish bony is one of the
world's greatest mischief artists.
Watch and learn!
You gotta get your leg just over the
I saw this in a movie
once, but I kicked
Ow! That pinch!
Oh!
Okay, a little to the left!
And we almost
Yeah!
Ya!
Ta-da!
Help!
What happened?
How are your poor little guy?
Ah! We all had a change of heart, right?
I'm free! Right?
I'm really sorry, guys.
That's not what I wanted to hear.
It's not your fault, Nathaniel.
I know.
I guess I'll see you guys.
When you get them tight up again?
Yeah. My wishbone. Nice meeting you.
Oh yeah, same here, Nathaniel.
Have a great time staying at my house.
Help yourself to anything you want.
The kibble, chew toys, anything. Really.
Well, I hope he's happy now.
David, it's not Nathaniel's
fault that's allergic to dogs.
Looks like he feels terrible about it.
I know.
If only there's a way to
prove to Nathaniel that
some of his problems might
be in his imagination.
What are he talking about?
He was playing with Wishbone
all afternoon, and he was fine.
It wasn't until his mom
came and told him he was
allergic to Wishbone that
he started getting sick.
I think it's time to convince Nathaniel
that he's not as sick as he thinks he is.
Although, convincing someone that
they're okay isn't always easy.
Yes, I am.
No, you're not.
Yes, I am. No, you're not.
Dear brother, there is a
word for what you've done.
It's called health, and
you've got plenty of it.
All those pills you take,
your doctors must love it.
You're fine.
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
Ah, here's Mr. Flore.
With my three o'clock shot.
Tell him you'll do it later.
This is doctor's orders.
I simply can't allow it.
You'll have to.
He said later, you, overgrown mosquito.
You can't.
This appointment is now finito.
Finito.
I'm telling Dr. Pogne's,
and then we'll see.
Oh dear.
Brother, what have you done to me
when the doctor is he'll throw a bit?
Not to worry, brother,
I will take care of it.
What's this I hear about
someone disobeying doctor?
orders.
Doctor, I was just saying
Why, you infinite fool?
To think that I gave you so much time
and effort to keep you from the grave.
Oh, now you've gone and done it.
You'll see how quick you'll
start to perfibulate.
Oh, you'll be sick.
Oh, your liver will mutify.
No, yes it will.
Your spleen will
Will somersault and beg for a pill.
And
Ancreas will grippily.
Oh, please!
Being over-docted is
this man's only disease.
He doesn't mean it. He's mad!
That's the last straw.
I hear by pronounce you
the sickest man I ever saw.
I'm doomed. You heard him.
I may as well be dead.
Now that you're through with doctors,
please let me discuss your daughter
because she is pining for her true love.
and you must.
Don't speak of her.
It's my wife whom I can trust.
Then why not play dead?
Then we'll see who cares
and who wants to get ahead.
Put them to the test, your
daughter and your bride.
All right.
Go get them and tell them that I've died.
And the calcium supplement.
Mm-hmm.
Good.
Okay. I'm going home.
Nathaniel, you have a
great time, sweetie.
I will.
Night, Mom.
Good night.
Good night, boys.
Night, Mom.
Night, Joe.
Night.
Good night.
Good night, Wishbone.
It's only for one more day, boy.
Oh, only one more day. Great.
Nothing wrong with spending
two days in prison.
For a crime I didn't commit.
I'm innocent, I tell you.
Innocent!
Fortunately, the amazing
wish bony cannot be caged.
Using only the power of my brain, I
will now levitate over this barrier.
Hm!
Must have put on a few pounds
since the last time I did this.
Oh well, when brain power
fails, you can always use your head.
It can be done!
Lint!
Now, just need the right
just need the right velocity.
Whatcha?
I mean, whatcha?
Hi, Ellen.
Good book.
Shh.
You made it.
Back in the old bedroom.
Now, to place the dog near the subject.
Oh, nay.
How's the breathing?
Sounds pretty good.
Hey, how about now?
Still good, huh?
Well, I'm good.
You're not allergic to me.
Now, it's time to prove it to you.
Ah.
You see, madam, it is like I have said.
There lies your husband,
stiffened and dead.
I know you're crushed.
You miss him so.
I thought he was never going to.
to go.
You don't sound very
disturbed by this news.
My waiting is over.
I've paid all my dues.
He was disgusting and
vile, mean, and cheap.
I've prayed for this
every night before sleep.
Now, get rid of his body,
and I'll get all his money.
Would you like that in cash?
Or will a chick do?
Honey?
You're alive. It can't be!
Yes, it can. Because I am!
Oh!
And there goes a mistake
I won't make again!
All the things I said, all
the gifts I bought her!
Master, play dead! Here
comes your daughter!
Oh, Shalik, bad news.
Your dear father's dying.
At least now you and
Cleont won't have to hide.
No, it can't be. Oh, my poor father!
Nothing matters now. Even
marriage. Why, father?
Cleant, my love, I
can't give you my hand.
I must breathe, poor father.
I understand.
I know you loved him.
You said he was sick, but who would
have dreamed this would happen so quick?
If only he'd lived.
I'd like to shake his paw.
Leont? Say hi to your new dad-in-law.
Papa, you're alive. Your
heart beating still.
You betcha I am? I'm not even ill.
And in case I ever do become
unwell, I'll be my own doctor.
Twanette! Sound the bell!
It's wedding time now.
And this doctor describes lots of fools,
lots of dancing, and lots of goodby.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Thank you!
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Your applause is most welcome.
But if anyone feels like throwing
up some pork chops, I don't mind.
Nathania.
It's time to get up.
It's time to get up.
Nathania.
Good morning, Joe.
Hey, we ever slept.
Dave and Samantha will be here soon.
How do you feel?
Great. The humidifier
really does the trick.
And you did a great job of vacuuming
all the dog hair out of here.
Oh, almost all the dog hair.
Oh, good morning, guy.
Sleep well, everybody breathing clearly?
Not almost all of it. All of it.
Leave me, I know if there's
any dog hair left in here.
Hello.
Hello?
There's a dog in my bed.
Yeah, well, your breath isn't so
great in the morning, either, pal.
Nathaniel, listen to me.
I don't know how Wishbone got out,
but you slept with him all night.
And you feel fine.
I feel fine.
So maybe you're a little more
healthy than your mom thinks you are.
Maybe you're not allergic to dogs, yeah?
Yeah, maybe you're right.
I feel fine.
You bet you do, Nate.
Oh, that's nice.
Ah, a little bit left, please.
Ooh, that feels good.
Well, oh, it's just one
allergy I know I don't have.
Oh, it's just one allergy
I know I don't have.
Hey, that's enough, Nate.
Oh, quit it, that diggled.
Ah, I'm allergic to kids!
Hey, let's take which one to
the park. What do you say?
Sounds great.
I like the park, but let's
talk about breakfast.
I'm thinking non-allergenic pancakes.
Mmm.
Moliere believed that the purpose of
comedy was to correct men's vices.
He tried to improve people by exaggerating
their worst quality and best quality,
using character types that
the audience would recognize
through their gestures, facial
expressions, and makeup.
Angelica.
the good, innocent daughter,
Twanette, that sassy rascal of a servant,
and Dr. Prigal, the smug, bossy doctor.
Nice nose, huh?
Theaters often used tableaus
to introduce these types.
Tablo is French for painting.
Like these designed by our artists,
tabloes would display
characters frozen on their sets,
so that they look just like a painting.
When put on a revolving platform,
tabloes could quickly and
easily show several scenes
without moving large set pieces.
Pretty,
Let's look at that again.
Ha ha ha ha!
One more time, please!
Got carried away.
You know, a dog can have a
great time with a theater.
I don't know