Harvey Beaks (2015) s01e22 Episode Script

1 [upbeat music.]
Harvey Harvey Harvey All right, you guys, I'm gonna kick it really hard this time.
Okay, me and Foo are gonna try to catch it together.
[grunts.]
Ball! I got it, it's mine! Penalty! Balls aren't food.
The bushes are made of metal.
Wait, there's something behind them.
- It says "Keep Out.
" - Awesome.
Let's go.
[both laughing.]
Oh, boy.
All: Whoa.
Look at all this junk.
Think of the possibilities.
We could do so much stuff with this stuff.
Yeah, like oh, oh, oh! We could clean it all up! - Actually, I have a better idea.
- Ooh, pizza.
No, a castle! I wanna build a castle.
A pizza castle! [medieval music.]
[upbeat music.]
Aah! Get away from me, you psycho! [triumphant music.]
Great job, everyone! Now all we need is a king! It should be someone who has qualities like honesty and loyalty and wisdom Hey, guys, look, I found a crown.
Oh, cool! All hail King Fee! [cheering.]
Nice.
[lute playing.]
- Hey, King Fee! - All hail King Fee! - What's up, King Fee? - Hey! King Fee! Your Highness, look! We're planting flowers in the royal garden.
- I even planted some on Claire.
- Aw, Piri! Yep, I'd say we got a pretty good kingdom here.
Kathy, let's party.
[strumming.]
[laughter.]
[grunts.]
What are you guys doing? Uh, playing castles.
Okay, my turn.
Open the gate.
Both: Um Ugh! What's taking so long? [grunting.]
- What's up, guards? - Princess wants to come in the castle.
But we kinda think she probably shouldn't.
Hmm Advisors, give me some advising.
Well, as the king, it's your duty to show honor and generosity to all the people of the land.
I think you should let her in.
I think we should all eat dirt.
- Good advice.
Princess! - What? My subjects are worried that you'll ruin everything.
Is that true? What? No way, I love castles.
I just wanna come and play.
Okay.
Let her in, guards.
- Finally! - Welcome to our castle, Princ [laughing.]
Hey! Yeah! Ugh! Ha-ha! Woo! Yeah! Ugh! Take that! Ugh! Ha-ha-ha-ha! [laughing and grunting.]
[screaming.]
- Guards, stop her! - Nuh-uh.
[screaming.]
[laughs.]
Yes! This castle looks like trash.
I'm outta here.
[laughs.]
Wow, Princess can do a lot of damage once she's got some momentum going.
So what do you wanna do now, Fee? Go back to my house and play some board games? Kings don't play board games, Harvey.
They live in castles.
So we're gonna build another one.
[fanfare plays.]
Now that is a castle! Thank you, my people.
The king is most pleased with your hard work, and you shall all be rewarded with a grand feast.
King Fee, help! Oh, crud, oh, crud, oh, crud! Princess attacked us! She took all the snacks my mom bought.
I'm not hurt.
I just got tired.
Are you kidding me? Princess! Princess: Ugh, ugh, you guys! You guys! I feel really sick from eating all your snacks.
Ugh, I feel gross.
I think I need help! Whoa, she looks bad.
I'll just lay on this stump and die.
Yeah, well, good, let nature do its thing.
Come on, we can't just leave her out there.
Where's your sense of noble compassion, King Fee? - Fee? - Okay, fine, you're right.
- Guards, bring her inside.
- What? - Princess, where does it hurt? - It hurts it hurts - In your face! [laughs.]
- It's a miracle! [laughing and grunting.]
I'm gonna take this thing, and hit it on the other thing.
All: Oh, no! It's happening again! Woo-hoo! I'm number one! I'm number one! Okay, I'm gonna go hang out at my house, 'cause it doesn't get knocked down every five minutes.
We can't let her win.
Princess thinks she can walk around this countryside wrecking any kingdom she wants? Well, I say nuts to that! I say we build the biggest, strongest castle anyone has ever seen.
Let's show princess what Fee's garbage people are really made of! [cheering.]
[dramatic music.]
We're ready.
Let her come.
I hope you brought a mop and bucket, Princess.
'Cause we're about to mess you up.
[growls.]
[grunts.]
[yelling.]
Fire! Yah! [gasping.]
Don't worry.
She'll never get past the moat.
[grunting.]
Ugh, maybe next time put water in the moat? Dang it! [thump.]
[all gasp.]
[rumbling.]
[grunting.]
Ugh! Give up.
It's over.
- Guys, can you let me in? - Aw, maybe we should Both: No! Whatever.
I'm out of here.
Ugh! [all cheering.]
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Princess is gone forever! I've never felt so alive.
- Next! - Begging your pardon, King Fee.
Hey, yeah, can we move the garbage pile? It's right next to the snack stand, and I don't wanna be smelling that while I get food.
- Sure, whatever.
- Next! King Fee, I'm trying to practice mandolin, but Technobear keeps playing his boom box too loud.
I don't know what her problem is.
It's a free kingdom.
Ugh! Can't you both just go on different sides of the castle? - I don't know why I got to move.
- Okay, but it's still gonna be too loud over there.
I'm so bored I can't feel my face.
I need some fresh air.
Is everything all right, Your Majesty? Ugh.
I do nothing but listen to folks complain.
I wanted to be a king, Harvey, not a babysitter.
- I need some excitement.
- Hmm.
Well, look on the bright side.
At least no one's trying to knock down the castle anymore.
That's right.
Nobody is trying to knock down the castle.
La-la-la-la hu-hu-hu.
Hey, Princess.
How's it going? Man, I'm so happy it's the right bathroom this time.
Ew, what are you doing in here? Get out! [grunting.]
Okay.
Listen, Princess.
I need to Stop it! Look! This is really weird to say, but being king just isn't as fun without you.
You made things exciting.
I don't know, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry, but are you really eating right now? Yeah.
Okay well, can you just please come back? You're so good at destroying things.
And you're so smart.
And strong.
Like a big strong horse? A smart horse.
- Keep talking.
- And that's all I got.
So, what do you say? - Dad! - I'm sorry for getting mad at you! You can destroy anything you want! Just please come back.
Dad, bring me a towel.
I've got a castle to destroy.
Huh? Guys, we've got movement.
Princess and King Fee? Oh no! Princess kidnapped the king! No, she didn't! I invited her.
Why the heck would you do that? Because when I decided to build a castle, I wanted it to be fun, not lame.
Then I figured out the best part was battling with Princess.
So you want us to attack Princess again? I say do whatever you want.
If you wanna defend the castle, do that.
If you wanna attack it, then do that instead! Everyone just go crazy! Ooh! Sorry, Fee.
[growls.]
[laughter.]
Yeah, get 'em! [grunting.]
[shouting.]
[rumbling.]
[laughter.]
Wow, you were right.
That was pretty fun.
What do you wanna do now, King Fee? Build another castle? Actually, I'm not the king anymore.
I'm now Supreme Commander Fee! And we need to repair our space station to destroy the moon! And I'll be an evil alien.
Roar! - Yo, I wanna be the alien! - I'll be the pilot! I'll be the space mermaid! What? You space kids get out of my junkyard! All: Aah! [laughing and chattering.]
Hey! Shoo! Get outta here! I told you guys the backyard is reserved for me and Harvey today.
This is gonna be great.
Harvey's gonna love the picnic spread I prepared.
Hey, big brother! I learned how to parallel park.
30 degrees and straight.
Aah, Wade, get out, you're ruining everything! Get out, get out, get out! You seem stressed.
Oh, this is great.
The cheese spread is ruined.
This is great.
I spent so much time on this! Oh, no! What What Wha Wh What is it? You're a doof-burger! Ugh, I don't have time for your shenanigans! Harvey will be here any minute.
Oh, Harvey's coming? I'll hang out too.
I can teach him this cool stepping routine I choreographed.
Wait, stop stepping.
Stop it! Harvey and I don't wanna hang out with a little baby.
I'm not a baby.
I'm six years old.
Wade, do you need a nap? Is that what this is about? Hey, Dade.
You ready for our picnic? I brought some pitted olives.
I also brought the pits in case it was presumptuous of me to remove them.
Oh my gosh, Harvey! You're just so thoughtful.
Hey, Harvey! Look what I can do.
[popping.]
Whoa, Wade! That's super neat.
Uh, if you'll excuse us for a second.
[thump.]
Who wants to see me pop a wheelie? [grunts.]
Okay, I'm ready for our picnic! - Should we invite Wade to join us? - Eh, don't worry about it.
You know, I know that guy gets on your nerves.
No way! Wade is super cool.
He's funny, and he dresses cool, and he's just fun to be around.
But he's not cooler than me, right? - It's different.
- Wha What does that mean? It means it's different.
Different? How? Wait, what's different? It's just different.
- W-Wait, that doesn't even make - It's different.
Why do you keep saying it's different? Is he cooler than me, or is he not cooler than Ba-ba-ba bo-ba-lay Ba-ba-ba bo-ba-lay Ba ba ba ba Ba-ba-ba bo-ba-lay Ba-ba-ba bo-ba-lay Ooh! [snoring.]
[angry growl.]
Shh! You never saw me.
[yawns.]
Hey, big brother.
How's it going? [growls.]
Oh, Wade, please help me! Please teach me how to be cool like you.
[sobs.]
Am I cool? Do people say that? See, you're even cool about being cool.
Sometimes, when I enter a room, people pretend to be asleep so they don't have to talk to me.
I just want people to think I'm cool too.
Dade, you're my big brother.
Of course I'll help you.
We're family.
Oh, you're the best.
When I'm done with you, you'll be the coolest guy in town.
- Okay, shake on it.
- Um, shaking hands isn't cool.
But tucking me into bed is cool.
[cackles.]
[laughs.]
Oh, this is gonna be great.
Wade, I feel ridiculous.
No way, big brother.
That outfit is super cool.
It's trend-setting.
You just don't understand fashion 'cause you're always just running around naked.
[moans.]
Now, you gotta own it, all right? Cross your eyes and flail your arms around like you're dizzy.
- Um like this? - Bigger! - I feel sick.
- [laughs.]
You're doing it! Hey, everyone, look at Dade.
H-Hey, just passing through.
[laughter.]
Excuse me Afternoon So then Wade showed me how to parallel park.
It was awesome.
Classic Wade.
If they made a movie about us, I would want Wade to play me.
Ooh! - He's like a cooler Dade.
- Dade's cool in his own way.
'Sup, guys, who wants to have all this fun? Dade? Are you all right? Is that a string of croutons around your neck? You jealous? You thought Wade was the only cool one, but look out! Buddy, I think you have a fever.
Uh, excuse me for a moment.
Wade, what do I do? It's not working.
They think I'm sick.
You're supposed to help me be cool.
Okay, okay, you can't just rely on your outfit.
You gotta have personality.
You know what people love? - Insults! - What? That doesn't make sense.
I don't like being insulted.
- That's 'cause you're not cool.
- Oh yeah, I forgot.
Here, I'll tell you exactly what to say.
Yo, Harvey! What's up, Wonder Twins? Pew pew pew pew pew! Ah man, Wade, you're all right.
So I think my big bro's got some stuff he wants to tell you guys.
- Remember, just be confident.
- Uh, yeah, okay.
Uh hey, Foo, guess what? [gasps.]
Uh, you're a smelly, gross garbage person, and, Fee, I just don't like you.
- Mm, garbage.
- Hey! Oh, I'm sure Dade is just kidding.
Yeah, dudes, I'm just being hip.
Uh, y-yo, Harvey, heh you're so blue! I mean, what are you, a blueberry? I'm I'm not a blueberry.
Oh, no, no, no, Harvey, I-I didn't mean it.
W What's wrong with you? Harvey is sensitive.
- You're mean.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, no, noo! [crying.]
Wow.
That was a lot.
I did everything you said! Now Harvey hates me! Oh, what do I do? This is a disaster.
Well, there's only one way to get people back on your side.
You have to do something so big, so outrageous, that everyone will know you're the coolest guy in town.
You have to do a stunt.
[gulps.]
Dade's been acting so weird today.
Dude, Dade is always weird.
This is not news.
[Dade over PA.]
Attention.
Attention everyone.
Dade? Everyone listen, this is important.
Two hours from now, I will be launching myself across Wetbark Lake with a giant slingshot.
It'll be the most death-defying stunt ever performed in Littlebark Grove.
Oh, and I'll be there if y'all wanna play hackey sack.
I mean, this could be really dangerous it would mean a lot to have a buddy there to support me.
Well, I'm not afraid to admit that you hurt my feelings earlier today, Dade.
I guess I'll go.
But only to make sure that the accommodations are safe.
Oh, if we get to watch you get hurt, then we're so there.
- Hey, I was just gonna say that.
- Nice.
This is gonna go well.
Yeah, yeah, this is a great idea.
[murmuring.]
Wow, I can't believe you're really gonna do this.
You're like, a rock star.
Dade, I'm no safety inspector, but I'd rate this N for Not Safe.
- Why are you even doing it? - Because I just I have to! Okay, just stand back there so you don't get hurt.
Okay, everyone.
Let's count down together.
All: Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! [groans.]
I-I can't do it! No, no, no! - Hey! He's chickening out.
- This is a rip off.
This isn't who I am.
I'm I'm not cool.
I like scrapbooks and taking baths, and I like pumpkin rolls.
I like making and eating pumpkin rolls! This is amazing! He's having a total meltdown! And, Harvey, I'm sorry I can't be as cool as Wade.
[sobbing.]
Wait, what? Dade, come back! [sobbing.]
Ha! Now you get a taste of your own medicine.
- Wha What? - You call me a baby.
You're always calling me a baby.
You made me feel bad, so now I'm making you feel bad! Wait, you mean this was all a trick? So I wasn't setting trends? No! You're always doing mean stuff to me.
Like when you put toothpaste in my pants and told Mom I was having minty poos.
- She made me go to the doctor for that.
- Well, I only did that 'cause you dipped my scrapbook in chocolate! This is you: "My name is Dade, and I blow my nose real loud!" You know I can't help it.
I have a deviated septum.
"I wake everyone up with my honking nose sounds!" You're an evil baby! Wow.
Sibling relationships are, uh complicated.
Ooh, look at me, I'm Dade.
I can't do it! I can't! [laughs.]
- You better quit it or else! - Yeah? Or what? Aah! [gasps.]
Serves you right.
[grunting and groaning.]
- Can Wade swim? - Nah, he can't.
- Oh, oh, my gosh, Wade can't swim! - What do we do? [panicked grunting.]
[grunting.]
Okay, this should be good.
[grunts.]
- Dade, there's something I wanna say.
- No, Harvey, let me go first.
I'm sorry I called you a blueberry.
I shouldn't have gotten jealous when you said Wade was cool.
I just want you to know that I aah! I was just gonna say my arms were tired.
Aah! Both: Whoa.
[all gasping.]
Whoa.
[thinking.]
Everyone's watching me.
I'm cool.
[grunting.]
All: Ooh.
Oh, man, oh.
- Ugh, everything hurts.
- You stay away from me! - I came to rescue you, dum-dum.
- Even after what I did? Well, yeah, of course, we're family.
I-I'm sorry.
- What? - I said I'm sorry.
- Are you patting my head? - Don't stop paddling.
[both grunting.]
Also, you're very buoyant.
[coughing.]
Dade, that was incredible! You're a hero! Hey, everyone, my best friend is a hero! I can't feel my body.
Normally, I'm all about messing with Dade.
But he's your brother, man.
You gotta take it easy on him.
Ah, well, what can I say? - I can't stay mad at you.
- This guy! I just really need to lie down.
Okay.
We can take it easy, try that new pumpkin roll recipe.
Wade, you wanna come? Oh, wait, really? We can practice that step routine! - No.
- And then you guys can watch me - do karaoke for a while - No, stop it, no.
Oh, oh, and you're gonna love my friend Drew.
- We should visit him.
- Not Drew!