Ranma 12 s01e22 Episode Script

Ranma of the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts.
Lemme go! Akane of the Tendo Dojo.
Wait! What th'--? Their fathers decided they should be engaged.
Don't decide for me! It's my life! There's just this one thing complicating Ranma's life.
What's that for? When Ranma is doused with cold water, HE becomes a SHE.
Once upon a time, when I was in my mid-20s I went on a pilgrimage to improve my martial arts skills.
Piggybacking baby Ranma, we traveled unknown lands.
However S-So hungry.
I've cooked it clean through! And you sleep so soundly, Kaori! Children who sleep well grow up big and strong.
I'm diggin' in! What? You weirdo! Fffiishhh Pleassse No way! It's my lunch! I'm begging! One bite No way means no way! A whole week! Not a drop of soup! Not a grain of rice! Bugga-bugga-bugga I'm not asking for a handout.
You can have anything you want in exchange.
Bugga-bugga-bugga Little boys don't cry.
You wanna trade for the boy on your back? I don't have an heir for the Daikoku School of Martial Arts.
I'll take your son from you and marry him to my daughter, Kaori.
Then the Daikoku School of Seven Lucky Gods Martial Arts If you don't wanna, then don't-- I'd give the boy off my back, if you throw in rice and pickles.
Drink your milk till it's all gone.
What a healthy boy.
"Happy Ever After" for the Daikoku School.
But when I recall that man's face as he ate It gave me the creeps.
Time to break camp.
My son! Behold your suffering father! One cannot fight on an empty stomach.
I'll never forget the debt I owe you! I never expected the high price I had to pay for the free food.
Give it back, Old Man! What, you gluttonous boy? This isn't-- Give it back! That's my pickle.
Pathetic! When did you become such a hog? Shame on you as a martial artist! It'd be better for your spirit if this pickle never existed! Calm down, Ranma! Forgive me! What kinda junk are y' talkin' now? Strict etiquette and vigorous training.
He is the very model of the modern martial artist.
"Happy Ever After" for the Anything-Goes School.
I don't see it happening! I'm done.
Have another pickle, Pop.
Chinese food has 4000-year tradition of happy eaters.
Kinkadai serve same fine taste for ten years now.
There are lots of anniversary events! Have a flyer! Here you go, Miss.
Look at that! Have a flyer! This town sure is bustling.
Hey-y-y!! I've been looking for this forever! Hey! Hold it! Is anybody home? Sounds like a visitor.
Hello! I'm coming.
Don't get up for me! I just let myself in.
just let yourself in? And you are? Ranma Is Ranma Saotome here? Ranma! You've got a guest! My son! I've longed to see you! I've finally found you! What's with this old guy? You'll call me "Papa" from now on! "P-Papa"--!? Once you marry my daughter, naturally I'll be your father! - "Marry"? - "Father"? Hey, Kaori! My name is Kaori.
She's a looker! You'll make a lovely couple! You've let me down, Ranma! I got NO idea what's goin' on! I made a solemn agreement with your father, Genma Saotome.
Where is Genma, anyway? Mr.
Saotome, the jig is up.
Saotome, explain yourself!.
That was a little TOO hot.
This had better to be good! Oh! Mr.
Saotome! Old man! Genma, I've looked everywhere! Yes, and-- What's the meanin' of this? Well, I just It was well over ten years ago when it happened You were goin' to trade me for ONE fish? He threw in rice and two pickles! Some father! And now I'll take Ranma, as you promised back then.
A deal's a deal.
W-Well, about that Hold it right there! Ranma already has a fiancee, by the name of Akane.
Is this true? It's a joke! I've been sayin' that all along.
What's with you? Forgive my impertinence.
Goodness! Not bad.
Anybody could do that.
I don't want any hard feelings.
Here's some consolation money.
You can have as much as you want.
Consolation money? Da-a-a-d! - What of Akane and Ranma's love? - Don't hit me so hard.
- It's your fault, not mine! - Poor Akane! Quit it! In any case, I won't hand Ranma over.
He'll marry Akane and carry on the Anything-Goes School.
No, he'll be the heir to Seven Lucky Gods Daikoku School.
What is it, Kaori? Miss Akane, do you love Ranma? My daughter would like to know.
L-Love? You're not serious.
No kiddin', like I could love a tomboy like you.
What's that, pervert? Shut up! Flat-chested.
Idiot! Blockhead! Loser! Dummy-dummy! I can't stand you! What's that, Kaori? Miss Akane, my daughter would like to issue a challenge to you.
According to my daughter, you are deeply in love with Ranma.
A competition is the only way to decide who Ranma marries.
She accepts! I give my permission! The method? Ah, the method That's it! How about this? What's this? "Miss Martial Arts Takeout Race"? The winner gets a year's worth of ramen!? Count me in! I'll never give up Ranma.
And I'm not giving up a year of ramen! Ranma, either.
What just happened? And what's gonna happen to ME!? Soon we start "Miss Martial Arts Takeout Race.
" Persons must pass each point and deliver ramen to finish line.
First to pass line, in spite of obstacles, is winner.
There are no rule! Only depend on own wisdom, courage, and physical strength! Got it? The loser gives up Ranma quietly.
We're in agreement.
I'm not racing for you! I know it.
just get us a year of ramen.
You half-qualify for the race yourself.
How about it? Look! I'm a guy! I'll never be a girl again! Contestants gather at start-line.
The start is finally here! Look! It blushing bride competing! What crazy idea! Is weird dress! What is she thinking? Honestly! She bowing before delivery case! Thrown in air, and not one drop is spilled! One strong contestant enter the race! To tell the truth, my daughter is a master.
Her art is the Seven Lucky Gods: Daikoku Delivery Martial Arts! "Delivery Martial Arts"? "Master"? It's a warrior's art that comes from Aizu fief in the Edo Period.
Long ago, making a delivery, they had to cross the mountains and fight bandits, to deliver the food as fast as possible.
Out of necessity, it became a warrior's art.
You've already lost! On your mark! Get set You're cheating! No rules! What is this? The Seven Lucky Gods Daikoku School-- Delivery Martial-Arts Secret Technique: The Delivery-Case Crush! Go to it, Akane! - Don't overdo it, you two! - Ranma! Just who does he think I'm fighting for? Ranma! Hey! Let go! Get us a year of ramen! Pop! Pop, the rules say guys can't enter! It's all right, Ranma.
It's just a part of Anything-Goes style of-- I'm not finished yet! Wh-What's going on!? What a pest! Daikoku School Secret Technique: Again? Fish Cake Blizzard! Whatever it takes to get that year of ramen! The world's gone dark! What a charming pose you've assumed.
Never fear, I'll make Ranma twice as happy, in memory of you.
I-I won't let her win! And who came up with the obstacles in this stupid race? I am NOT going to lose! Akane Tendo, farewell! My ankle, it's-- I alone will finish the race.
D-Don't make me laugh.
The unbeatable Noodle Noose! Th-That idiot! The Seven Lucky Gods Daikoku School of Delivery Martial-Arts Ultimate Technique: Noodle Noose.
Like a snake, it strangles you and won't let go.
The more you move, the tighter it gets.
It's all over! Ranma is mine! R-Ra-- I'm a guy! R-Ranma! I'll never be a girl again! Akane Tendo, prepare to die! Ranma.
Are you okay, Akane? Sorry, but I can't let you win this race! Who's that? Are you trying to become Ranma's bride, too? Who cares about that!? I won't let you win! Oh, no! There.
It's gonna smash! S-Safe! Look well at your ramen.
The fish cake's gone! Fish cake is the heart of ramen.
Without it, you forfeit.
Honestly! Look! Right! Ranma.
Don't eat that! Finish Line Wait up! Only one woman will take the prize! Go, Kaori! Victory is before your eyes! At any cost, protect the glory of the Anything-Goes School.
At this rate I won't make it.
Please, let go.
No way! Akane, go for it! Ranma.
Kaori, you're almost there! Akane! You can do it! M-My ankle Akane.
You're almost there.
Hang in there! She won! Banzai! "Happy Ever After" for the Anything-Goes School! "Happy Ever After" for the ramen! Ranma, Akane, you'll be a happily married couple.
Genma, Soun, thanks for the hospitality.
My daughter thanks you, too.
No need for thanks.
Why don't you have a bowl of ramen? Thanks for the thought, but we must bid you farewell.
Perhaps we'll meet again.
It was a day filled with excitement, right, Saotome? True, Tendo.
Shall we? Fine idea.
Eat your fill.
Thank you.
A year's worth! I can never get enough ramen! Akane.
just so you know, I only did it for the ramen.
Don't get me wrong.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Anything-Goes Martial Arts Tendo Dojo "Happy Ever After" for the Anything-Goes School! And a year of free ramen! I got no complaints.
Excuse me! It's a guest! Hello? I'm coming.
Don't get up for me! I just let myself in.
just let yourself in? And you are? Is Ranma Saotome here? I'm Ranma Saotome.
You wouldn't be My son! How I've longed to see you! You'll call me "Papa" from now on! How many fiancees am I supposed to have?