Rhoda (1974) s01e22 Episode Script

- MY NAME IS RHODA MORGENSTERN.
I WAS BORN IN THE BRONX, NEW YORK IN DECEMBER, 1941.
I'VE ALWAYS FEL RESPONSIBLE FOR WORLD WAR II.
THE FIRST THING I REMEMBER LIKING THAT LIKED ME BACK WAS FOOD.
I HAD A BAD PUBERTY.
IT LASTED 17 YEARS.
I'M A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE.
I WENT TO ART SCHOOL.
MY ENTRANCE EXAM WAS ON A BOOK OF MATCHES.
I DECIDED TO MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE WHEN I WAS 24.
MY MOTHER STILL REFERS TO THIS AS THE TIME I RAN AWAY FROM HOME.
EVENTUALLY, I RAN TO MINNEAPOLIS, WHERE IT'S COLD, AND I FIGURED I'D KEEP BETTER.
NOW I'M BACK IN MANHATTAN.
NEW YORK, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.
- NO, THANK YOU.
I CAN'T USE ANY OF YOUR STUFF.
- AVOCADO FACIAL MASK? - UH-UH.
- OLIVE OIL MOISTURIZER? - MISS, I-I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT I'M TRYING TO GET SOME WORK DONE.
YOU SEE, I WORK AT HOME.
- THIS IS GOOD STUFF.
I USE IT MYSELF, AND LOOK HOW YOUTHFUL MY SKIN LOOKS.
- OK, HOW OLD ARE YOU? - 22.
- TOO BAD.
IF YOU SAID "53," I WOULD HAVE BOUGH THE WHOLE FRANCHISE.
- CARLTON? - HELLO? THIS IS CARL-- - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
CARLTON, LISTEN TO ME.
I TOLD YOU BEFORE, I'M GOING TO TELL YOU AGAIN.
I'M NOT HOME.
SO, DON'T LET ANYBODY ELSE UP.
DO YOU KNOW I JUST HAD TO GET RID OF A WOMAN SELLING COSMETICS DOOR-TO-DOOR? - OH, YOU MEAN SHE GOT PAST ME? - STRANGE AS IT MAY SEEM.
- I'LL GO FIND HER RIGHT AWAY.
I COULD USE A NEW BOTTLE OF AFTERSHAVE.
- [SIGHING.]
- HI, BABE.
SURPRISE.
- HI, JOE.
- I WAS ON A JOB IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD SO I FIGURED, WHY BUY LUNCH WHEN I'M SO CLOSE TO HOME? - LISTEN, BABE, I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO COOK SOME LUNCH FOR YOU, MAKE YOU SOMETHING, BUT I CAN'T, I'M TOO BUSY.
I'M TRYING TO COME UP WITH AN IDEA FOR THIS NEW JOB I'M UP FOR.
- OH, THAT'S OK.
I DON'T NEED SOMEONE TO FIX ME LUNCH.
I'LL JUST HAVE SOME FRUI AND CHEESE AND STUFF.
- OH, GOOD.
- WHAT NEW JOB IS THAT? - IT'S MARTINDALE'S.
BOY, IF I GET THIS, IT'LL BE THE BIGGEST ACCOUN I'VE EVER GOTTEN.
I MEAN, UP 'TIL NOW, THE BIGGEST WAS WHEN TIE CITY ADDED BELTS.
- OH, THAT'S FANTASTIC.
- YEAH.
- SAY, WHERE'S THE CHEESE? - I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU COULD MAKE YOUR LUNCH YOURSELF? - OH, YEAH, I CAN MAKE IT.
I JUST CAN'T FIND IT.
- I SEE.
OK.
YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE IDEA OF WORKING AT HOME IS REALLY AWFUL.
IT IS.
BECAUSE I'M HOME, PEOPLE FEEL FREE TO JUST DROP IN WHENEVER THEY LIKE.
LOOK, EVEN YOU.
OK.
OK, YOU'RE ALLOWED.
- ALL I WANT IS LUNCH.
- I KNOW.
BOY, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUT THERE, HUH? - YEAH.
- YOU KNOW WHAT I'D LIKE? - HMM? - I'D LIKE TO EA LUNCH IN THE PARK.
- WOULDN'T YOU? - YEAH, SURE.
- AND WHA A PERFECT LUNCH FOR IT.
I MEAN, FRUIT, CHEESE, A LITTLE FRENCH BREAD, RIGHT? SOME WINE? SIT UNDER A TREE.
NUTS.
HERE.
TAKE A SQUIRREL TO LUNCH.
YOU UNDERSTAND, DON'T YOU? I MEAN, YOU'RE A DISTRACTION.
A GREAT DISTRACTION, BUT A DISTRACTION.
I FIGURE, IF I'M ALONE FOR A WHILE, I CAN GET THIS WORK DONE.
OK? - SURE.
[KNOCK AT DOOR.]
- OH, HIYA, BREN.
- YOU ON YOUR WAY TO GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE? - I'M NOT GONNA CARRY THIS IN THE PARK.
I'M ALSO NOT GONNA CARRY THIS PAST CARLTON.
- BYE.
- BYE.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY? - OH.
I JUST HAD THE MOST HORRIBLE MORNING AT THE BANK THAT I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE! - WHAT HAPPENED? - I FORGOT MY LUNCH.
SO, RHO, WHAT'S NEW? - I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT I'VE BEEN DYING TO TELL EVERYONE WHO'S INTERRUPTED ME SO FAR THIS MORNING.
GET OUTTA HERE.
GET LOST.
- RHODA, YOU DON' HAVE TO MINCE WORDS.
IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL ME, JUST TELL ME.
- AW, BRENDA, IT'S NOT YOU.
YOU GOTTA KNOW THAT.
IT'S JUST--IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO WORK IN THIS APARTMENT.
- OK, WHY DON'T YOU USE MY PLACE? I MEAN, NO ONE EVER COMES BY OR CALLS.
- NAH.
- NO, REALLY, IT'S PERFECT.
I MEAN, I HAVE AN UNLISTED LIFE.
- WELL, LISTEN, MAYBE I'LL TAKE YOU UP ON THAT.
- YEAH? - AT LEAST I'LL GIVE IT A TRY.
- GOOD.
- SURE.
- OH, RHODA? - YEAH? - I'M SO GLAD I FOUND YOU.
- MYRNA, I HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
I HAVE NO TIME TO TALK.
- IT'S ALL SO MEANINGLESS, RHODA.
SO FUTILE.
SO TOTALLY FRUSTRATING.
- MAYBE THIS IS JUST BLIND INSTINCT HERE, BUT I GO A HUNCH SOMETHING'S WRONG.
OK, WHAT IS IT? - WELL, IN ADDITION TO MY TEACHING DUTIES, I VOLUNTEER TO BE ADVISOR FOR THE SCHOOL PLAY.
- OH.
OH, THE SCHOOL PLAY.
DO YOU REMEMBER THE PLAY WE DID WHEN WE WERE SENIORS? - "OUR TOWN.
" - RIGHT.
AND YOU WERE EMILY AND I WAS THE TOWN.
- ANYWAY, I WANTED TO DO A PLAY THAT HAD NEVER BEEN DONE IN SCHOOL.
- MM-HMM.
- I CHOSE "WAR AND PEACE.
" - WHAT? YOU MEAN, THE "WAR AND PEACE?" - I SPENT MY ENTIRE SUMMER VACATION ADAPTING THE NOVEL, MAKING IT INTO A PLAY.
I MANAGED TO CUT IT DOWN TO 150 SPEAKING PARTS.
AND NOW, THEY WON'T LET ME DO IT.
- MMM.
MYRNA, IF THE KIDS ARE ANYTHING LIKE WE WERE WHEN WE WENT TO THAT SCHOOL, UH, THERE AREN'T 150 OF THEM WHO CAN SPEAK.
- IT'S SO TYPICAL OF THE BUREAUCRACY I FACE EVERY DAY.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS TEACH, AND I HAVE TO FILL OUT 10 FORMS TO GET A BLOTTER.
- YEAH.
- AND NOW, THIS.
AND LOOK AT ALL THE WORK I PUT INTO IT.
- DESIGNING SETS - MYRNA - DRAWING THE COSTUMES-- - LISTEN, MYRNA, I'D LOVE TO LOOK AT THESE WITH YOU.
I REALLY WOULD.
BUT I CAN'T.
I HAVE NO TIME.
I HAVE THIS BIG PRESENTATION I HAVE TO GET READY FOR TOMORROW.
AND I HAVEN'T EVEN FIGURED OUT A THEME FOR IT YET.
I MEAN, I CAN'T COME UP WITH AN IDEA.
IT'S THE PITS.
- I'LL GET OUT OF YOUR WAY.
- OK.
- THANKS FOR LISTENING, RHODA.
- HEY.
- WHAT? - NAH.
BUT - WHAT? - MAYBE.
"WAR AND PEACE.
" THIS COULD BE A THEME FOR MY WINDOWS.
YEAH.
THE RUSSIAN LOOK IS GOING TO BE VERY BIG THIS SPRING.
SURE, MYRNA.
I COULD DO, UH, 3 WINDOWS OF WAR, AND THEN 4 OF PEACE.
YEAH, THE WAR WINDOWS ALL REDS AND ORANGES, AND THEN THE PEACE WINDOWS IN PALE COLORS.
PASTELS.
- THIS IS SO EXCITING.
WATCHING THE BIRTH OF 7 WINDOWS.
- MYRNA, THIS IS SO GOOD.
THIS IS GOOD.
THIS IS, AH! I'M SO HAPPY I GOT THIS.
NOW, I GOTTA GET A FABRIC.
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT I JUST DID? I JUST STOLE YOUR IDEA.
- NO, TAKE IT.
IT'S OK.
PLEASE.
I'M HONORED YOU WANT TO USE THEM.
- REALLY? - YEAH.
CAN I--CAN I JUST STAY AND WATCH YOU DO IT? - SURE.
SURE.
- I'LL BE QUIET.
I PROMISE.
- I'M JUST GONNA SIT OVER HERE AND READ 38 ESSAYS ON THE SYMBOLISM OF THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER AND HUCKLEBERRY FINN.
- WELL, THAT SOUNDS FUN.
- IT'S THE PITS.
- [WHISTLING.]
OH, HI, BABE.
- HI, JOE.
HEY, I STOPPED AT THE DELI AND BOUGHT US SOME DINNER.
- OH.
ME, TOO.
ONLY I WENT TO THE CHINESE PLACE.
- MY FAVORITE.
SWEET AND SOUR LOX.
AH.
- SO, HOW DID THE INTERVIEW AT, UH, MARTINDALE'S GO, HUH? - TERRIFIC.
REALLY TERRIFIC.
- YEAH? - YEAH.
THE "WAR AND PEACE" IDEA KNOCKED 'EM OUT.
THEY WERE REALLY CRAZY ABOUT "WAR.
" - THAT'S GREAT.
SO, THEN, YOU GO THE JOB, RIGHT? - NO, NO.
NOT YET, JOE.
NO.
WHEN I LEFT, THERE WERE OVER 5 PEOPLE LEFT WAITING TO BE INTERVIEWED.
THERE WAS ONE GUY WITH AN EARRING AND A CHEETAH.
HE MIGHT HAVE SOME OFF-BEAT IDEAS.
OH, BOY.
IF I SHOULD GET THIS JOB, JOE, IT WOULD BE HUGE.
MAYBE TOO HUGE.
DO YOU REALIZE I WOULD BE CARRYING AS FULL A WORKLOAD AS YOU? MAYBE MORE? HOW DOES THAT GRAB YOU? - RHODA, WHAT'S WRONG? I MEAN, YOU WORKED FOR YEARS FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
- IT'S LIKE, ONE DAY, I HOPE I'M GONNA TO GET A CALL, AND THEY'LL SAY, "HELLO, THIS IS PITTSBURGH.
COME ON OVER AND KNOCK US DOWN.
" I MEAN, IT'S SOMETHING YOU'VE BEEN AIMING FOR, YOU KNOW? WHAT IS IT? UH, ARE YOU AFRAID YOU CAN'T DO THE JOB? - NO.
I CAN HANDLE THE JOB.
CAN YOU? I MEAN, COME ON, JOE.
IT'S GOTTA BOTHER YOU A LITTLE, TOO, DOESN'T IT? - OK, I'LL ADMIT.
THERE'S A PART OF ME THA ISN'T CRAZY ABOUT IT.
BUT, RHODA, YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND, I WENT THROUGH A MARRIAGE WHERE MY WIFE DIDN'T WORK, AND IT DIDN'T WORK.
MAYBE IF SHE HAD WORKED, IT WOULD HAVE WORKED.
I MEAN, LOOK AT US.
YOU'RE WORKING, AND IT'S WORKING.
- OH, JOE.
YEAH, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT, THERE.
BUT IF I DO GET THE JOB, I CAN'T WORK AT HOME HERE.
I'LL NEED MY OWN OFFICE.
AND THAT'S EXPENSIVE.
I MEAN, HOW MUCH DOES YOUR OFFICE COST? - OH, IT'S NOT BAD.
- YEAH, BUT YOUR PLACE IS A DUMP.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
HELLO? HELLO, MR.
CRITCHFIELD.
IT'S THE GUY FROM MARTINDALE'S.
WHAT? I WHAT? I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
YOU MUST BE KIDDING.
OH.
NO.
OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT KIDDING.
IT WOULD BE MEAN AND CRUMMY TO KID A PERSON LIKE THAT.
I GOT THE JOB.
OH, BOY.
I-I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME.
I'M TELLING YOU, THANK YOU.
YES, I'LL BE THERE FIRST THING TOMORROW.
AND THANKS AGAIN.
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? I BEAT OUT 20 PEOPLE AND A CHEETAH.
HA HA! OH, JOE, THIS MAKES ME FEEL SO TERRIFIC.
I MEAN, I FEEL GREAT.
HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL? - OH, IT MAKES ME FEEL GREAT.
- YEAH? - YEAH.
- I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
- OHH.
- WHAT DO YOU SAY WE CELEBRATE? DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT? - NAH, LET'S STAY HERE.
THIS MAY BE YOUR LAST HOME COOKED MEAL FOR A WHILE.
- HEY, THIS IS LOOKING GOOD, JOE.
- HELLO.
- OH, MR.
PENNICK, HELLO.
JOE, THIS IS THE BUILDING MANAGER.
MR.
PENNICK, THIS IS MY HUSBAND.
- HI, MR.
PENNICK.
- HELLO.
- HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - WE'RE PAINTING THE OFFICE.
- WE JUST PAINTED IT, BEFORE YOU MOVED IN.
- YOU'RE KIDDING? THAT YUCKY BROWN? THE COLOR THAT--I THOUGHT THA WAS A COLOR THAT ANOTHER COLOR TURNED WHEN IT SPOILED.
- WHAT'D YOU DO WITH THIS DESK? IT SAYS HERE, "ONE GREY, METAL DESK.
" - YES, YES.
UNDER THE CONTACT PAPER IS ONE GREY, METAL DESK.
ONE CRUDDY-LOOKING, CHIPPED, GREY, METAL DESK, WHICH I FIXED.
- I DON'T KNOW.
THEY'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE THIS.
- THEY? WHO ARE THEY, MR.
PENNICK? THE YUCKY, BROWN PAINT AND THE GREY, METAL DESK SYNDICATE? - I WAS GONNA SEND THIS HOME WITH YOUR WIFE FOR YOU TO SIGN, BU SINCE YOU'RE HERE - OH, SURE.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
- WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU SIGNING? - IT'S YOUR LEASE.
- OH.
WELL THEN, SHOULDN'T I SIGN IT? I MEAN, UH, THIS IS, UH, MY OFFICE? - THEY PREFER THAT THE MAN OF THE HOUSE SIGN IT.
- OHH.
I GET IT.
I SEE.
BUT THIS ISN' A HOUSE, MR.
PENNICK.
THIS IS AN OFFICE.
MY OFFICE.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S HER OFFICE.
- I GOTCHA.
IT'S HER OFFICE.
HA HA HA.
OH, LOOK, DON' MISUNDERSTAND ME.
I THINK IT'S TERRIFIC, WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE.
I MEAN, NOT MANY GUYS WOULD SET UP THEIR WIVES WITH A BUSINESS LIKE THIS.
- NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
I'M NOT SETTING HER UP IN THIS.
- RIGHT.
GOTCHA.
- MR.
PENNICK.
I AM PAYING FOR THIS OU OF MY OWN MONEY.
- RIGHT.
GOTCHA.
- BUT I AM.
- RIGHT.
- STOP WINKING.
- I'M NOT WINKING.
- WELL, HE IS, AND YOU'RE ACCEPTING IT.
- AREN'T YOU GONNA READ IT? - UH, I HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY.
I WILL READ IT LATER.
- CUTE.
- WHAT? - THIS IS THE FIRST LEASE I'VE EVER GOTTEN SIGNED WITH PINK INK.
"WINDOWS BY RHODA.
" WHAT DO YOU DO WITH WINDOWS, ANYWAY? MAKE 'EM, LIKE STAINED GLASS ONES? - NO.
I WASH 'EM.
- HEY, RHODA? DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE OVERREACTING A BIT? - NO.
- I MEAN, IT WASN' THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
- IT WASN'T THAT BIG A DEAL? IT WAS THAT BIG A DEAL, JOE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE THIS ALL THE TIME.
I DO.
WHENEVER I TAKE A CLIEN OUT TO LUNCH AND IT'S A MAN, I PAY THE BILL.
THEY BRING HIM THE CHANGE.
- HERE YA ARE.
- OH, THANKS, LEO.
- TUNA? - YEAH, YEAH.
- ORTUNA.
HERE'S YOUR CHANGE.
- DO YOU SEE THAT? - YEAH.
- THANK YOU.
- HEY, MISS, HOW DO YOU SPELL YOUR LAST NAME? - UH, GERARD.
G-E-R-A-R-D.
- THAT DON'T SOUND RIGHT.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A LONG ONE.
- IT IS.
MORGENSTERN.
EXCUSE ME.
MORGEN, WITH AN "E," STERN.
- HEY, HOW COME YOU'RE USING YOUR OLD NAME? - WELL, JOE.
YOU SEE, I GAVE A LO OF THOUGHT TO THIS.
AND I REALIZED THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN THE WINDOW-DRESSING BUSINESS KNOW ME AS MORGENSTERN.
AND BESIDES, IT'S NOT MY OLD NAME, THAT'S WHO I AM.
SOMETHING I'LL ALWAYS HAVE.
LIKE THESE SIGNS.
HEY, JOE, LISTEN.
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I NEED TO BE RHODA MORGENSTERN, YOU KNOW? BUT THERE'S A PART OF MY LIFE WHERE I JUST LOVE BEING MRS.
GERARD.
- OH, YEAH? WHEN'S THAT? - OH, COME ON.
A LOT OF THE TIME.
SOMETIMES WHEN MY MOTHER COMES OVER.
SOMETIMES WHEN I MEE AN OLD BOYFRIEND.
AND, UH, ALL THE TIME, JUST AFTER LIGHTS OUT.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
- HELLO.
RHODA MORGENSTERN.
OH, HIYA, MR.
EDWARDS.
WHAT? OH.
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
SURE.
OF COURSE.
UH, AS A MATTER OF FACT, I WAS WORKING ON YOUR WINDOW DISPLAY RIGH THIS VERY MINUTE.
OH, YEAH.
UH, WELL, RATHER THAN DESCRIBE IT TO YOU, I WOULD RATHER JUS HAVE YOU SEE IT YOURSELF.
UH-HUH.
ABSOLUTELY TOMORROW.
I PROMISE.
THE ESTIMATE? WELL, THAT I CAN GIVE YOU RIGHT NOW.
SURE.
YES.
HOW IS BUSINESS, MR.
EDWARDS? YEAH? IS EVERYTHING GOOD? WELL, IT'S SLOW FOR EVERYBODY.
UH, LOOK, WHY DON'T I CALL YOU BACK WITH THE ESTIMATE, HUH? VERY GOOD.
BYE.
WHERE IS IT? [TELEPHONE RINGING.]
- OH.
HELLO? RHODA MORGENSTERN.
OH, HELLO, MR.
PATTERSON.
TOMORROW? NO, NO, NO.
THE DISPLAY ISN' DUE UNTIL FRIDAY.
NO, NO.
TOMORROW ISN'T FRIDAY.
IT IS NOT, I'M LOOKING AT MY CALENDAR.
WAIT A MINUTE, I'M IN JUNE, HERE.
OH, I-I-I'M SORRY, MR.
PATTERSON.
OF COURSE IT'S TOMORROW.
YEAH, AND YOU'LL HAVE IT.
I'LL BE THERE.
OK.
SEE YA.
OH, NO.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
RHODA MORGENSTERN.
- HELLO, THIS IS JOE GERARD.
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF MY WIFE WAS THERE AND WHEN SHE'S GONNA COME HOME? - AH, YEAH, JOE, SHE'S HERE.
AND SHE HAS NO IDEA WHEN SHE'S GONNA BE HOME.
- WELL, THIS MORNING YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA BE HOME EARLY TODAY.
- I KNOW, I KNOW, DARLING, BUT THINGS HAVE JUST GOTTEN SUDDENLY NUTS AROUND HERE.
- WELL, LOOK, HOW MUCH LONGER IS THIS GOING TO GO ON? - WHAT DO YOU WAN ME TO DO, QUIT? OK.
OK, I'LL QUIT.
ONLY ONE PROBLEM, JOE.
WHAT'LL WE DO WITH THIS OFFICE FOR THE NEXT 11 MONTHS? - WELL, I ALWAYS WANTED A DEN.
- JOE, LISTEN.
I'M A LITTLE CRAZY RIGHT NOW, I GOTTA TELL YOU THAT.
SO, I THINK IT'S BES WE TALK ABOUT THIS WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER.
- FINE.
THAT'S JUST FINE.
NOW, WHEN IS THAT GONNA BE? - I DON'T KNOW.
BUT, PLEASE, PLEASE JUS HANG IN THERE, JOE, HUH? - HEY, RHODA, WHAT DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING? - WELL-- - GOOD-BYE.
- JOE.
AHH.
OH.
- HELLO, RHODA.
- MYRNA, I CAN' TALK TO ANYBODY NOW! MY LIFE IS FALLING APART! I HAVE A TON OF WORK TO DO! - OH, ALL RIGHT.
- OK, THEN.
- I'M NOT LEAVING, RHODA.
I CAME IN TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING BEFORE YOU THREW ME OUT.
- I'M SORRY I DID THAT, MYRNA.
I'M JUST SO HASSLED HERE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
- I CAN SEE THAT.
AND MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU THERE.
- WELL, I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN BUT-- - YOU SEE, I'M A WORK HORSE, TOO.
I'M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO COULD NEVER SAY "NO" TO ANYONE, SO I ALWAYS GOT TOO MUCH WORK TO DO AND THOUGH I COULD NEVER FINISH ANYTHING, AND IT DROVE ME CRAZY.
- YEAH.
WELL - BUT THEN, ONE DAY I SAID TO MYSELF, "MYRNA? "SO WHAT IF YOU'RE LATE TURNING IN YOUR PROGRESS REPORTS? "IS MR.
LEFCOURT GONNA KILL YA? HECK, NO.
" AND ONCE I CAME TO THAT REALIZATION, A CALM CAME OVER ME.
A KIND OF PEACEFUL, BLISSFUL-- - MYRNA, GET TO THE POINT! - THE POINT ISONCE I RELAXED, I DID BETTER WORK.
AND THAT IS WHA YOU SHOULD DO.
- THANK YOU.
- NOW, COME ON.
- WHAT? - I WANT YOU TO SIT OVER HERE - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - AND RELAX.
- MYRNA, I CAN'T! I HAVE WORK TO DO! - RHODA! TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF AND WIGGLE YOUR TOES.
- MYRNA.
- RHODA.
I'M WIGGLING.
I'M WIGGLING.
- WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP OF COFFEE? - YEAH.
I WOULD LOVE IT.
- I BET YOU NEVER THOUGH YOU'D BE GETTING ADVICE FROM ME, HUH? BUT THIS IS ONE THING I'M GOOD AT.
WORK.
I'M NOT GOOD AT LIFE.
AND I'M NOT GOOD AT MEN.
BUT I'M GOOD AT WORK.
HOW DO YOU FEEL? - FINE.
- DON'T DO THAT, RHODA.
THIS IS YOUR BREAK.
RELAX.
WE'LL CHAT.
HOW'S JOE? - NOT GOOD.
OTHERWISE, HE'S FINE.
- GOOD.
- SO, HOW'S SCHOOL? - I QUIT.
- WHAT? I'M SITTING HERE, COMPLAINING, AND YOU JUST QUI AN ENTIRE CAREER? MYRNA, WHY DIDN' YOU SAY SOMETHING? - I WAS GOING TO, BUT YOU DIDN'T SEEM TO BE IN THE MOOD TO HEAR IT, THEN.
- OH.
WELL, WHY DID YOU QUIT? I THOUGHT YOU LOVED TEACHING? - I QUIT BECAUSE I HAVE THIS URGE TO BE CREATIVE, AND THEY WOULDN'T LET ME.
I COULDN'T GET IT OFF, THERE.
- MYRNA, THIS IS SUCH A MAJOR STEP TO TAKE.
I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW? - I DON'T KNOW.
SOMETHING.
BUT THAT NIGHT AT BRENDA'S, WHEN I DROPPED BY AND HELPED YOU WITH THAT IDEA, IT WAS THE MOST EXCITING, STIMULATING NIGHT OF MY LIFE.
- YOU POOR KID.
- AND THEN THE OTHER DAY, I WENT BY MARTINDALE'S, AND I SAW YOUR "WAR AND PEACE" WINDOWS, AND, AS I STOOD THERE, AMONG THE CROWD ON THE SIDEWALK, A THRILL WENT THROUGH ME.
- WHEN YOU WERE STANDING THERE, WAS THERE A CROWD BEHIND YOU? YOU SURE THIS THRILL YOU FELT WAS OF YOUR OWN DOING? - RHODA, YOU'RE TOO CLOSE TO IT.
IT'S VERY EXCITING, WHAT YOU DO, RHODA.
AND I WAN TO DO IT, TOO.
- MYRNA, PLEASE.
COME ON.
A PERSON DOESN'T QUI A JOB AND BECOME A WINDOW DRESSER OVERNIGHT.
- WELL, HOW DID YOU GET STARTED, THEN? - WELL, I QUIT A JOB.
YEAH.
BUT--BUT I HAD HAD SOME ART TRAINING.
- I'VE HAD SOME ART TRAINING.
- BUT I APPRENTICED WITH SOMEONE WHO SHOWED ME THE ROPES.
- I COULD DO THAT, TOO, RHODA.
IF I COULD FIND SOMEONE WHO WAS TALENTED AND PATIEN AND MAYBE OVERWORKED ENOUGH TO SHOW ME THOSE VERY SAME ROPES.
DO YOU READ ME, RHODA? - MYRNA, LISTEN.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S A GOOD IDEA FOR FRIENDS TO, YOU KNOW.
- FORTUNATELY, I DON' FEEL WE'RE THAT CLOSE YET.
- WELLNAH, NAH.
TH-THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT.
IT'S TOO LOGICAL.
MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE.
BUT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN SOMEBODY WHO RESISTED ANYTHING THA SOUNDED TOO EASY, YOU KNOW.
LIKE WHEN THEY FIRST BROUGH OUT PANTYHOSE, I THOUGHT THEY COULDN'T WORK.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
- OH, MYRNA, LISTEN, NO.
I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
- I'LL GET THAT.
GOOD AFTERNOON, WINDOWS BY RHODA.
YES, MR.
EDWARDS.
- I FORGOT TO CALL HIM BACK.
- THE ESTIMATE FOR THE WINDOW TOMORROW? JUST ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A WINDOW FOR BIG ED'S MEN'S SHOP? - MYRNA, I GOT MYSELF INTO SUCH A BIND, YOU WON' BELIEVE IT.
I PROMISED TWO STORES DISPLAYS FOR TOMORROW.
AND I CAN'T-- - YES, MR.
EDWARDS, I'M SORRY.
THIS IS MS.
MORGENSTEIN, MS.
MORGENSTERN'S ASSOCIATE.
I'M AFRAID I'VE MADE A MISTAKE IN HER SCHEDULE.
WOULD IT BE TERRIBLY, UH, INCONVENIEN IF WE POSTPONED THA UNTIL NEXT WEEK? GOOD.
WHY, THANK YOU, MR.
EDWARDS.
ALL RIGHT, "BIG ED.
" A DRINK SOMETIME? WHY, YES, THAT SOUNDS VERY REFRESHING.
MMM.
CIAO TO YOU, TOO.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - I'M FINISHING MY COFFEE.
I AM WIGGLING MY TOES.
MS.
MORGENSTEIN, HOLD ALL CALLS.
- THE GUY TOLD ME YOU WANT TO ADD ANOTHER NAME UNDER THE "R.
MORGENSTERN" HERE.
- YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, LEO.
"M.
MORGENSTEIN.
ASSOCIATE.
" - MORGENSTERN AND MORGENSTEIN.
YOU GIRLS SISTERS? - HELLO, JOE.
LISTEN, GREAT NEWS.
GREAT.
I'M GOING TO BE HOME EARLY, AFTER ALL.
WE CAN HAVE A NICE DINNER TOGETHER.
TIME TO TALK AFTERWARDS.
DOESN'T THAT SOUND GREAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WHO IS THIS?"