Starsky and Hutch (1975) s01e22 Episode Script

Hutch, it's right here in black and white.
You don't believe that crocodiles are responsible for killing more people every year than any other cause? Then why would they print it if it wasn't true? - It doesn't make any sense.
- Well, a lot of things don't make sense.
Like the two of you eating those butterfly bones.
That doesn't make sense.
That doesn't necessarily mean it isn't true.
They're banana chips.
Banana chips, butterfly bones, what's the difference? You're still eating them.
- David, you're impossible.
- Oh, you noticed.
Here.
- Thank you.
- Gotta go.
- Don't forget to take your vitamins.
- Yep.
- See you tomorrow, huh? - And we'll see you Friday night? For the final feast before you plunge into another two-day fast? I wouldn't miss it.
Don't forget blackstrap molasses and impregnated wheat germ.
Oh, don't worry.
Blackstrap molasses and impregnated wheat germ? And you tell me I'm whacko.
What the lady wants, the lady gets.
It's called technique, Starsk.
What I don't understand is what's wrong with these two.
- What do you mean? - You've watched Police Story.
You know a cop's not supposed to be happily married.
That's the number-one rule.
Well, maybe I ought to call Capt.
Dobey and report them.
Oh, please, officers, can't you give us a break? Well, maybe this one time.
Jim, you ought to throw her around, beat her up once in a while.
Well, I'm going on duty now, but I'll get right on it just as soon as I get home.
- You're late.
- Hello, Jerry.
Nice to have you back in town.
There's 26,000 there.
Let's see.
And the rest, of course, you'll have by next week? I'm afraid not.
You said you had jobs lined up and fences to take care of the merchandise.
Oh, they're all set, but there's been a change in plans.
Jerry, you can't afford a change in plans.
The bail bonds we have out on you go into forfeiture next week so I'm afraid you're going to have to come up with a lot more cash than you've brought here tonight.
- It's over, Mrs.
Turkel.
You've bled me long enough.
Bo, take him.
Don't be stupid.
Look, we've got $65,000 worth of paper out on you.
Well, you're just gonna have to eat it, lady.
I've paid you almost twice that much now, and I'm tired of running.
My girl's waiting for me to call right now.
We're all packed.
We've got a chance to get out of the country, start all over.
I'm taking that chance.
Look at it this way, you don't have a choice.
You turn me in to the police now, and I tell them everything about the way you really run this bail bond office.
Now, get out of my way.
He's dead.
- What are you doing? - I'm getting us off the hook.
I'm calling the police.
We have just killed a dangerous, wanted felon.
We gotta think about this first.
What's to think about, he's worth $65,000 in bonds.
Lola, he said he was leaving town with his girlfriend.
Yeah, well And that probably means that she knows that he came to see me and why.
I'd say that's a pretty good chance.
If he gets found dead now, she's liable to go to the police.
- The answer's very simple, isn't it? - What do you mean? The street knows Konig hit town to make some scores.
All we have to do is keep him alive long enough to get to his girlfriend and make sure there's no connection to us.
Yeah.
You know, there ought to be a law that people can only commit crimes during the daylight hours.
Well, we'd only end up busting them at night anyway for breaking it.
All units, all units, silent alarm.
Zane's Wholesale Jewellers.
East Main and Flatbush.
Zebra Three.
We're on our way.
Police officer.
Freeze! - Which way did he go? - I don't know.
Well, you got here first.
- No, I got here second.
And you - Yeah, I know.
I got the bronze medal.
Okay, folks, break it up.
Come on.
- You've seen enough.
- It's Jim.
Folks, step back.
There's nothing to see here.
Go on, go on.
Go on home.
Go on.
Okay, Jim, you're gonna be all right.
Where is he? Where did they take him? I've got to see him.
Will you please tell me where they took him? Dorothy, he's gonna be fine.
I promise you, just fine.
Take her down to Intensive Care.
Go ahead.
He's gonna be okay.
How's Nedloe? Touch-and-go.
He's in operating.
Another police officer hit.
What's the point? I wonder what's the point in any of us putting on a badge! You sound like us.
"Cops shot every day, goes with the territory.
" They're shot every day, and by some turkey with 15 priors that the courts cut loose! You got a name or you just making a speech? A torch you and Hutch put away three times and three times made bail and then skipped.
Jerry Konig? Arson squad said this one's got his name all over it.
Good old Jerry.
Why didn't his mom teach him not to play with matches? - Must've been desperate to come back.
- I don't care how desperate he is.
I want you two to nail him.
Any idea where to start? Same place as usual, his girlfriend, Denise Girard.
She's always trying to reform him anyhow.
Get on it.
Hi, Denise, how are the animals tonight? Try hungry.
Mandy says there's a phone call for you.
- Thanks.
- Okay.
- Hello? - Hello, baby.
- Jerry? - It's me, baby.
You sound so funny.
I can hardly hear you.
There's been a change in plans.
Meet me at your place right away.
I'll be right there.
- Yes? - She's on her way.
Are you sure she thought you were Konig? Are you kidding? She bought the story hook, line and sinker.
I'll take care of it.
Don't you worry.
Then I'll meet you back at the office.
Excuse me.
Denise isn't here.
Let's go to her apartment.
The bartender said that she split right after she got a call from someone who stutters.
Konig stutters.
- What are you doing here? - Me? I'm doing the same thing you are, looking for Jerry Konig.
That's a step up for you.
You usually beat up somebody who's late with alimony payments.
Oh, terrific.
You guys know each other? - What's he, another cop? - Not hardly.
Rile's a modern-day bounty hunter.
He makes his living finding people like your boyfriend who've jumped bail.
You know, one of these days, hotshot we are gonna go bump in the dark.
- Whenever you like.
Meanwhile, we'd like to know how you know that Jerry's back in town.
I've got my sources.
Some of them a lot better than yours, maybe.
You expected to find Jerry here? A girlfriend's apartment's a pretty good place to start.
Wanna proffer charges for breaking and entering? Proffer charges against me? If anyone goes in, she ought to go in.
Konig ain't here right now, but there's a lot of evidence that says he was.
It's up to you.
- Just get him out of here.
- You heard the lady.
Bounce.
Go on! Get out of here! - You okay? - I don't know yet.
You've seen Jerry, haven't you? Would you believe me if I told you I didn't even know he was back in town? Denise, Jerry shot a cop tonight.
Oh, my God, no! Oh, but he told me He told you what? That this was it? That he would reform, go on the straight and narrow? - People can change.
- Sure, people can change.
I guess it just depends on how much they want to.
Oh, but he promised me.
He said he just had some business to take care of.
Look, Denise, unless you want to see him dead the best way that you can help him is to help us find him.
He said we were gonna go away together.
I knew something was wrong when he phoned.
He sounded so strange.
- He said to meet him here.
- How long ago was that? Fifteen minutes ago.
Denise, we need your help.
Well, you could look for a man named Monty Voorhees.
They were in jail together.
I think Jerry had been seeing him.
There's another car around back.
If Konig shows again, we've got him.
- You want to hear something funny? - I can hardly wait.
We can't get at the girl.
The police got her place staked out waiting for Konig to show.
And I got a feeling we're gonna be very sorry we started this thing.
What choice did we have, birdbrain? At least this way, everybody thinks Konig is still alive.
Most importantly, his girlfriend and as long as she believes that, she will keep her mouth shut.
So, what you're saying is, we got to keep up this game until we can get to her.
That's right, genius.
Now, you'd better get over to that hotel where Konig was living.
Why? Because it won't take the cops long to track down where he was staying and when they do, you had better be ready for them.
You dig? - Nice place to pass the afternoon, Hug.
- Hi again.
- Hi, yourself.
- I hear you two guys are cops.
You planning on starting a crime wave? That depends on what kind of bust you have in mind.
It's technique, Starsk, all technique.
Hi, Hug.
Hear you got something for us.
Done some checking on that guy, Monty Voorhees you were asking me about last night.
- And? - And the word is that Monty Voorhees and Konig are supposed to be really tight and this guy Voorhees is supposed to be a real strange bird.
Used to be a geek.
A geek? Really? - Do you know what a geek is? - No.
A geek is a freak in a circus sideshow.
They keep him in a pit and they throw snakes and chicken heads at him and he runs around and gobbles them up.
Sounds like your kind of people.
I'll have you know that in 1932, the geeks formed their own union.
Get that from the same book that you got all that other wonderful information about the crocodiles and whatever? - I've read that same book.
- No kidding? Yeah.
You read the part about the guy from Akron, Ohio who shot the head off a bumblebee in flight? - Really? - Yeah.
- What part was that in? - The part in the back near Chapter 83 about the Bigfoot who was supposed to be a creature from space left here to spy on us? - Right.
I thought everybody knew that.
Huggy Monty the Greek The geek.
Last I heard, he's supposed to be working behind a switchboard at a hotel on Ninth and Tremaine.
- Thank you, Hug.
Geeks formed their own union? That one you made up.
Well, suppose all they paid you in was chicken heads.
Did you know that in Africa there was a politician campaigning for office, and his constituents ate him? - Oh, come on.
- No, it's true.
- No accounting for taste, is there? - Get in there.
That's what I like, a man that's always broadening his mind.
Where you going, Monty? You guys ain't got nothing on me.
Hey, Monty, phone's ringing.
You got a feeling an elephant lives here? Palm Crest Hotel.
Monty, we're looking for a friend of yours.
- His name's Jerry Konig.
- I ain't seen Jerry for months.
You got no right going through that register.
- You got something to hide, Monty? - No stray chicken heads? Look here.
Two new customers last night.
- Rooms 18 and 29.
- Oh, I got 29.
- Jerry, it's the cops.
- You little weasel! Now, where's your back door, huh? - Out there.
- Good.
- What's that? - It's time for my vitamins.
Terrific.
I'd hate to be blown away and not have you at your peak.
Well, which way did he go? Nobody likes a wise guy, Starsky.
What was I supposed to do? He said he'd kill me if I didn't help him, if I didn't warn him about the cops.
You've spent too much time in cages.
If you hadn't warned him, he'd be in jail now.
Yeah, and on the streets in two hours just like the last time and the time before that.
Doesn't matter to you, does it, that the man's a psychopath? That he gets kicks hurting people and setting buildings on fire? Sure, it matters.
It matters that he don't do none of those things to me.
What you got? Konig's haul from last night's jewellery robbery.
Anything from him? No, just a discourse in jungle law.
Take him in? - Let's make him work a little bit first.
- Good idea, Ollie.
Hey, Monty, come here.
Sit down.
Sit down.
I'm only gonna say this one time, Monty so I want you to listen good.
Jerry Konig shot a cop last night.
If he dies, you're going down for accessory.
He robbed a building and set fire to it and then today, he attempted to kill me and my partner.
Accessory, accessory accessory.
If we ever find out that Jerry Konig contacted you and you don't contact us Property.
Well, where do we go from here? If Konig did steal the diamonds, he'd have to unload them.
Good point.
Who'd be dumb enough to fence someone as hot as Konig? Why don't you check your book? I knew you were gonna say that.
- Any other suggestions? - How about the Red Baron? - He's dumb enough.
- Ain't the only one.
- What? - Nothing.
- You know the real Red Baron - Knock it off! The real Red Baron, when he went up, took a parakeet with him.
He was very superstitious.
You wouldn't be interested in that.
You, who know everything with your juice, bananas, grapefruit and peas.
- Early 1940s.
- Yeah, how do you know that? It's the same kind of suit George Brent wore in the Bette Davis movies.
Be careful, it might crumble.
Wouldn't want grey flannel flakes on the floor.
Hey, Starsky, Hutch, what can I do for you, I hope? Well, let's make it easy on you.
Jerry Konig lifted about $10,000 worth of industrial diamonds last night so he must've been looking for a market.
Wait a minute.
You're assuming I do something illegal here.
I sell clothes.
Konig killed a cop.
You ready for a going-out-of-business sale? Konig called, stuttering and stammering more than his usual.
You know how he sounds.
Said he needed to raise a lot of money.
- What did you say? - Are you ready for this? I told him to try the arson-burglar credit union.
I wasn't ready for that.
Konig's a crazy.
I don't need his kind of action.
Well, what do you know about that? - Guess I better call in, huh? - Wait, maybe we could make a deal.
A deal? Herman, that's stolen merchandise.
Stolen? Who says it's stolen? Maybe it's just lost.
I mean, you just found it, it must have been lost.
- I could turn it in to lost and found.
- Herman, you're gonna take a fall.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Well, maybe it doesn't have to be a hard one.
Well, that depends on what you got.
The real reason Jerry Konig came back to town.
Okay, Herman, spill it.
Hey, Eddie.
Hi, "Starchy.
" Hi, "Hup.
" How many times do we gotta tell you? I'm Starchy, he's Hup.
Well, the sun was kind of in my eyes and you guys look an awful lot alike.
- Yeah, yeah.
- You're working here, huh? - Yeah, yeah.
Good job too.
Washing windows and sweeping out, here and a couple other places.
It sure beats the tank or those road camps.
- Keep up the good work, Eddie.
- Yeah, sure, Hup Starpy.
No, no, no, I'm Forget it.
Look, mister, you either put up, or your kid stays in the slammer.
You want to shop this deal? Fine.
Don't come back here when you find out that I offered you the best opportunity in town.
I don't even know why I'm wasting my time with you.
I don't want to write this ticket so you make up your mind, buster, and you make it up fast.
I think we want to see her.
- You fellas have an appointment? - I bet you can make one for us.
Nancy, I'll take care of them.
You take care of Mr.
Petrov here.
Make sure he signs all those forms.
I'd be happy to.
- Something you wanted? - How about your license to operate? - Is that a threat? - You better believe it, sweetheart.
- What do you two boys want? - How about a lead to Jerry Konig? Nancy, call our lawyer.
Call the lawyer and find out what the sentence is for aiding and abetting and harbouring a fugitive.
Word's out, Lola.
It's all over the street.
Jerry Konig's in town trying to raise money to get you and this goon off his back.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- I'm talking about a $65,000 bond.
A bond that you forfeit payment on if Jerry Konig doesn't appear in court.
I am a reputable businessperson.
Reputable.
You don't even know what the word means.
- I think it's about time you boys left.
- Sit down, ugly.
We are gonna leave here when we want to leave.
- Do you understand? - Yes! A cop is in Intensive Care because you put Jerry Konig on the street.
If we get a whisper that you helped him or made a deal to pay off his bail we're gonna put you away, lady.
- You coming? - Yeah.
Oh, you'll have to excuse my partner, he gets a little emotional sometimes.
You ought to see him when he gets angry.
Then again, maybe you'd better not.
Maybe you'd better just do what he says.
Do you have any idea how beautiful your eyes become when you are angry? Are you forgetting who gives the orders around here? - But they are cops.
- I don't care who they are.
I said we can't let them get any closer.
Your friend Konig again.
- Anybody inside? - No.
Not now.
Truck was pulling away before the fire broke out.
- How long ago was that? - Twenty, 30 minutes.
- Anything ripped off? - Several cartons full of electronic gear.
Well, well.
Jerry Konig's been a busy boy tonight, huh? You keep following us around, you'll get a free ride downtown.
On what charge? There's no law against watching a fire.
You boys will have your hands full with Konig trying to burn the city down.
You ought to be grateful that I'm here to nail him for you.
Zebra Three, Zebra Three, see the man named Monty.
He has information on fugitive Jerry Konig.
You guys gotta promise to protect me.
Of course we'll protect you.
Hutch will take you in and make a pet out of you.
- Speak to us, Monty.
- Jerry called me about a half-hour ago.
- He said he wants me to meet him.
- Okay.
Where? It's a big construction yard near the docks.
- Have you got an address? - Regal Avenue.
Looks awfully lonely.
- You smell a setup? - You've got a good nose, Starsk.
See you around, hotshot.
Don't do that to me.
Hutch! The geek has done it to us again, huh? Monty! No more peanuts for him.
Roger and out, thank you.
You ready for Looney Tune times? That electronic gear that was taken at the last fire? - It was found abandoned at the dump.
- What?! That's not too smart, is it? Why would a guy steal all that equipment to dump it again? Maybe he's getting eccentric in his old age.
Zebra Three, Zebra Three, come in, please.
Zebra Three, go ahead.
Captain Dobey requests that you meet him at the Mission Ice House.
Mission Ice House? Oh, 10-4.
On our way.
Isn't that place closed for the past couple of years? Yeah, five or six at least.
I'll see you guys back at the lab.
Captain who was that? Jerry Konig.
They found him over there with a bullet in his head.
Coroner says he's been dead at least two days.
Two days? Who the hell have we been chasing all this time? - That's what I've been wondering.
- Who found the body? Can't give you any help there either.
It was a fluke.
Stray cat got caught in the ventilator.
Fire department come to get him out, they found him there.
Okay.
Why would someone want to pretend that Jerry Konig is still alive? Well, let's see what we got.
Herman said Konig came to get money to get Rile and Turkel off his back.
Denise told us that Konig promised to go straight and wanted to leave the country with her.
What if they were both right? And if they were then Bo and Lola were the last two to see Konig alive, and Denise knew it.
And the night we interrupted Bo with Denise he was probably there to kill her.
- Hello? - Denise? Denise Girard? - Yes.
- You don't know me but I'm a friend of Jerry's, and he asked me to call you.
Is he all right? Is he hurt? Oh, no, he's fine.
He says he loves you.
Jerry said to tell you that he's ready to leave and he wants you to meet him.
- Anywhere.
Anywhere at all.
How long is it gonna take him? Hoyle? Yes, ma'am.
I was just having a little bit of trouble, but everything's okay now.
Well, what do you think? Nice fit, huh? It'll do.
I sure do appreciate you letting me have these clothes, ma'am.
That's perfectly all right, Hoyle.
Now, I want you to go outside and wait in Mr.
Rile's car.
Yes, ma'am, I'll do that.
This is the rest of Konig's stuff.
I want you to make sure that that's on Hoyle's body before the fire starts.
You know I kind of get the feeling that you really enjoy this whole thing, don't you? - Hutch.
- Thanks, lady.
She borrowed a neighbour's car and left about 10 minutes ago.
- Any idea where she's going? - That's the bad part.
She told her neighbour she was going to meet her boyfriend.
What do we do here, Mr.
Rile? I'm busy.
- What do you two want now? - Denise Girard.
Nancy, take these over to the courthouse.
Yes, Miss Turkel.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Conspiracy to murder one.
Clear enough? How much will it take to spring you, Lola? I didn't Whatever Bo Rile did, I'm If that's who you're talking about.
Accomplice to what? He didn't murder anybody.
Is this a frame? Are you two guys trying to railroad that man? - This his desk? - You know it is.
Why? I thought we might be able to find the gun that killed Jerry.
We found his body at the Mission Ice House.
That's where you left it, isn't it, Lola? Are you making a charge? It's all over.
We've got enough to get a warrant to seize your books.
When we do, we'll find "extortion" and "conspiracy" in capital letters.
Not to mention Jerry Konig's murder Monty Voorhees' murder and those fires.
We want the girl, Lola.
We want Denise Girard.
Well, I still don't know what you're talking about.
Unless, of course, my saving her life might have some influence with the courts.
Some kind of reputable businessperson, huh? You better believe it, buster.
Rile's got her.
Now, you deal, or she's as good as fried to a crisp.
All right sweetheart if that's the way you want it, we'll talk to the judge.
We'll tell him how you tried to hold that girl's life over our heads.
Lola, I don't think that you'd want the deal we'll make for you.
Paint factory.
Corner of Marshall and Chandler.
Hello, baby sure glad you could make it.
Please, let me go.
Please.
Where's Jerry? What did you do with him? You ain't figured this out yet, have you, honey? Jerry's dead.
Rile, hold it! Oh, hi there, Starpy.
What are you doing here? Oh, I thought I'd drop by and help out Hup here.
You ever think of taking up finger-painting, Eddie? But you promised me steak and potatoes.
You knew I was starving.
I mean, what kind of dinner is this to invite me to? Pineapple yoghurt, raisins, sunflower seeds? - Starsky, don't hurt her feelings, huh? - What about my stomach? Where'd she get this recipe? From the guy who runs the parrot cages at the zoo? Dessert's almost ready.
- What's in it? - Everything.
Well, the goat's milk, all our vitamins.
Don't forget the desiccated liver and sea kelp.
- Good idea.
- Remember what that did for you? Oh, yeah.
There's always ground-up unicorn toes, or if that's unavailable why not throw in the ever-popular South American hoot owl's beak.
Let's face it, Hutch.
- The two of you are a little strange.
- Starsk Abigail and I aren't eating for the next 48 hours.
- That's what I said.
- No, no.
Abigail feels that it's important that we go into this period of fast loaded with nutrition, so we can maintain our normal physical potential.
Oh, I see.
You mean, you have to eat this in order to - Starsk.
- What? Abby? - Did you forget the vitamin E? - Oh, we didn't forget that.
A triple dose.
You aren't having dessert? - Well - Starsky? What, before I go to work? Can I have yours? Sure.
Just stay where I can keep an eye on you.