The Garfield Show (2008) s01e22 Episode Script

1
-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]
[upbeat theme song playing]
-[Garfield] Hee-hee!
-[remote clicks]
[Garfield snoring]
Oh, hi. I was just indulging in one
of my favorite pastimes, sleeping.
Which reminds me.
We get letters here asking me to name
my ten favorite things in the world to do.
Well, here they are
in no particular order.
May I have the screen, please?
Number one, sleeping.
Number two, eating.
Number three,
sleeping and dreaming about eating.
Number four, and this one's a tricky one,
eating while sleeping.
Number five, sleeping on my other side.
Number six, mailing Nermal to Abu Dhabi.
Here. Notice I did not mark it "fragile."
Numbers seven, eight and nine
are all more eating
Which brings us to number ten.
Number ten, my favorite thing
in the whole world to do,
and amazingly,
it involves neither eating nor sleeping.
It's watching Odie
being tormented by squirrels.
I love it. I shall now demonstrate.
Watch.
This is going to be your favorite thing.
Trust me.
[squirrels chattering]
[yipping]
-[squirrels shriek]
-[squirrel] Red alert! Here comes the dog!
[Odie yipping]
-[crash!]
-[Odie] Oww! Oww!
[whimpers]
Yeowwwww!
[crash!]
[cuckoo clock chiming]
[clang!]
[squirrel] Fifteen-love!
All clear!
[laughing]
What did I tell you? This is great!
Those squirrels.
You can come out now!
The squirrels are gone.
[Odie whimpering]
You earned that bone, Odie.
On behalf of myself and the audience,
thank you for giving us such a good time.
You're welcome.
Odie and squirrels.
You just can't get enough of them.
[squirrels laughing]
Fine job, everyone!
[laughing]
That must be the stupidest dog
in the history of stupid dogs!
That dog has a brain the size of a walnut.
More like a cashew!
-[squirrel whistles]
-[Odie barks]
-[Odie barking]
-[squirrel shrieks]
[woman] And now we're going to show you
something you've never seen before
in your whole life.
I've seen this.
This just in.
Today, a man in Sweden set
a new hippopotamus-biting record
when he successfully bit one hippopotamus.
Tied for second place
is everyone else in the entire world.
Boring!
Six hundred and thirty-seven channels
and nothing to watch.
If only my favorite thing in the world
was happening right now
-[Odie barking]
-Hey, I know that bark!
That's Odie's, "I'm chasing squirrels
and I'm about to make a fool
of myself" bark.
-Yes! Yes!
-[Odie barking]
[Garfield chuckles]
Quick, everyone! Out the back way!
It's Odie time!
[squirrels] Yeah! It's Odie time!
[laughing]
[squirrel laughs]
[laughing]
[laughs]
[Odie muttering]
[blows raspberry]
[Odie barking]
-[crash!]
-[Odie yowls]
[thwack!]
[thud!]
-[squirrels laughing]
-[Odie sighs]
-Ta-da!
-[squirrels and Garfield laughing]
Bravo! Author, author!
[squirrel laughs]
[Odie barking]
[sniffing]
[barks]
[squirrel] Dah-duh-duh-duh
Duh-duh-dah ♪
[laughing]
[Odie] Awwww!
[blows raspberry]
Huh? [muttering]
[sighs]
[shrieks]
[Odie barking]
Okay, we're done here!
You can come home now!
All right! Be with you in a jiff!
[clang!]
[Odie yipping]
Squirrel down! Squirrel down!
[sniffing]
Hey, you finally caught one. Sort of.
For those of you scoring at home,
that's Odie one,
Squirrels 783.
-[Odie whimpering]
-I can't watch this! It's too horrible!
Yeah, he's a goner. Poor devil.
Such a fine, brave squirrel.
-There's nothing we can do for him.
-[squirrels sobbing]
Hey, don't worry, Odester.
The bushytailed one here is just in shock.
He'll wake up any minute now.
Just give him time.
[Odie] Awww!
[Garfield] Hey! What are you doing?
No, we don't want that in the house.
Jon doesn't like having unconscious
squirrels in the living room.
I don't want anything to do with this.
[shrieks]
[gasps]
It is sad what has happened to our friend.
Professor Walnut, I never heard of a dog
catching a squirrel before.
-Is this a common event?
-Oh, no. This is most unusual.
As a matter of fact, this is a first!
No dog in history
has ever actually caught a squirrel!
This is a tragedy!
I see. So would you say that the future
of squirrels is in jeopardy?
Oh, yes. Definitely, definitely.
We are at the end of an era
and we will all have to move
to dog-free territories.
And now, if you'll excuse me,
I have some packing to do.
Take me with you!
I don't want to move. I like it here.
Maybe we can talk to the dog,
make peace with him?
After all the rotten things
we've done to him?
Don't be foolish. He must hate our guts.
We can try. What have we got to lose?
Oh, no! He's tasting me.
He's going to eat me!
Hmm?
-What? You wanna shake paws with me?
-Yeah! Yeah!
After all the crummy things
we've done to you?
Yeah!
That dog won't want to make peace with us.
-We have to try.
-What if he tries to eat us?
No telling what he's done to our friend.
He's
Quick! While he's away!
Let's get you out of here.
Run for it!
-Hey! I'm playing with my new friend.
-Your new friend?
But he's a a dog!
What can I say? We had him all wrong.
Him and probably all dogs.
Good boy!
-[man 1] Am I a schizophrenic?
-[man 2] Of course not!
[man 1] Neither am I!
-[man 2] Yes, you are.
-[man 1] No, I'm not.
And neither of you is worth watching.
What to watch, what to watch?
-[Odie yipping]
-Could it be? Is it possible?
It sounds like Odie's
chasing squirrels again!
[war drums beating]
The best buy
for your entertainment dollar.
-What?
-[squirrels and Odie chanting]
We are forever your humble servants,
O Wise One.
Odie? Wise?
What color is the sky
in your world, squirrels?
Odie's idea of an intellectual pursuit
is chasing his tail for an hour.
How dare you insult our friend?
Are we gonna let him talk
like that about Odie?
-Apologize.
-I will not.
Okay, brothers! Get him!
Hey! Get off me!
What do I look like, a bag of almonds?
Stop! Stop! No! Hey! No! Stop! Oww!
[snarls]
Well, it looks like my favorite show's
been cancelled.
No more Odie chasing squirrels.
But when you get bad news,
that's the time to put on a happy face.
And if you don't, sometimes someone
will put one on for you.
[squirrels and Odie laughing]
[chanting]
Jon's coming! Everybody, hide!
[mice screeching]
[humming]
[teeth chattering]
Nice job of standing guard, pal.
It's a great place to live.
As long as that Arbuckle guy
doesn't notice us,
there's no place I'd rather be.
Well, let's see, what shall we watch?
A 23-hour documentary
on how some TV shows are too long,
a rerun of a repeat of an encore
presentation of an old program
we didn't watch in the first place.
Here's a travelogue about a new
tourist attraction dedicated to cheese.
Cheese?
Turn to channel 9, Garfield.
-Huh?
-[Garfield snickers]
Welcome to this tour
of my greatest new enterprise
That's right, it's me, Eddie Gourmand!
And today we visit the world's greatest
new amusement park,
Eddie Gourmand's Cheeseland!
I built this
because everybody loves cheese.
So here the rides are,
you got it, made of cheese.
The buildings are cheese,
the windows in the buildings are cheese.
Even the cheese pizza
actually contains cheese.
Well, that's a novelty.
We have cheeseburgers,
cheese sandwiches,
cheese Danish, cheese crackers,
cheese without crackers!
So plan yourself a cheesy vacation!
And come to Eddie Gourmand's Cheeseland!
That's Eddie Gourmand's Cheeseland!
Open seven days a week, no mice allowed.
Gee, I have a strange urge
for a piece of cheese.
Garfield, old pal, old friend!
You've got to take us there.
To Cheeseland?
You heard the man. "No mice allowed."
That's why you've gotta take us there.
You're smart enough to sneak us in.
Oh, no way. You wanna go there,
you figure a way in.
I'm not going to help you sneak
into Cheeseland.
[Jon] Garfield!
Garfield, I just went into the kitchen
and got a piece of cheese.
What's wrong with that?
This was attached to it.
Can we please go to Cheeseland?
This whole house is full of mice again!
It's your job to get rid of them!
This is where Jon always threatens
to withhold my lasagna privileges.
Can we please go to Cheeseland?
If you don't get rid of them right away,
no lasagna for the rest of this decade.
It's a cheap, constant threat.
Which is not to say
that it doesn't always work.
Can we please go to Cheeseland?
You want us to leave, Garfield?
Take us to Cheeseland!
Will it get you out of here
if I do stuff like this?
Snarl. Whoa, where did that come from?
Nope!
Can we please go to Cheeseland?
Okay. Let's go.
[mice] We're going to Cheeseland! ♪
We're going to Cheeseland!
We're going to Cheeseland! ♪
Now, listen and listen good, cat.
I've hired you to keep mice
out of my Cheeseland!
Now if you let one mouse, rat or rodent
get in or anything furry, you're fired.
No problem, Mr. Gourmand. I'm on the job.
You won't see any mice here.
He'd better not. I got a great job here
and I don't wanna lose it.
I have too many problems.
Business is terrible.
I thought people loved cheese.
I don't know what's going on!
[patron shrieks]
-Huh?
-[bees buzzing]
Whoaaaa!
[patrons shrieking]
Whoa!
-Hey, Garfield!
-Oh, hey! It's you, Harry.
Fancy meeting you here.
-Ain't it a little hot for an overcoat?
-Oh, no, I'm very cool. Cool I am.
It's 89 degrees.
Oh, that cold?
Gosh, I should have brought a scarf.
-Well, see you later, Harry.
-[mice giggling]
Huh?
Hey! Ah, Garfield, you wouldn't happen
to have any mice in that overcoat?
Mice? Why would I have mice
in my overcoat? You're too funny.
-[mouse] There's no mice in here.
-[Squeak] Shut up, Humphrey.
Oooh!
[laughs]
-[Harry kicks]
-[Garfield screams]
-[crash!]
-[Garfield] Oww!
-[mouse] Are we in? Is this Cheeseland?
-[Garfield] Not quite.
-[Squeak] You promised to get us inside.
-[Garfield] I will. I have another idea.
Buongiorno! I am here to deliver more
of Vito's phenomenal cheese pizzas
to add to the cheesy glory of Cheeseland.
-Yeah.
-Grazie, my little pussy gatto.
[imitating Vito] I'm sorry! I, Vito,
forgot to leave these pizzas here.
You know the way, pal.
[laughs]
Ooh! Oh, no! Well, let me have a look
at these pizzas.
[giggles]
There's a great topping.
You didn't order the mouse pizza? Scusi.
[Garfield] Yaaaaaa!
[crash!]
-[Squeak] Ahem. Garfield, you promised.
-[Garfield] I know, I know.
[Garfield straining]
[Squeak] You sure about this, Garfield?
No, but we're already up here.
I think we're gonna make it.
-[chuckles]
-I think we're not gonna make it.
We're not going to make it.
[shrieks]
[crash!]
[Garfield] I was right.
We didn't make it.
[Squeak] Garfield, you promised.
[Garfield] Squeak, if you're gonna hold me
to my promises,
I'm gonna stop making them.
Can we please go to Cheeseland?
We're going to Cheeseland ♪
We're going to Cheeseland
We're going to Cheeseland ♪
Looks like I did a pretty good job
keeping mice out of here.
Harry, look out!
The mice are trying to get in!
[Harry] Oh, no! [muttering]
-[mice chattering]
-[Harry] Whoa!
Don't worry!
I'm chasing them out of here!
Thanks, Garfield!
You just saved me the trouble of
We get to go to Cheeseland, really?
Wheee!
[Harry] Hey, you come back here!
[patrons cheering]
-Oh, wow! Look at that!
-This is great!
-We love it here!
-Alright!
This is all I dreamed about!
[coaster roaring]
Thank you, Garfield.
This is the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in my whole life.
Come on, guys. Let's eat it.
[mouse] Wow, great!
[Squeak] Cheddar.
[Harry] Oh, no!
[mouse] Here comes the cat!
Garfield, I'll get you for this!
[Garfield] Come on, Squeak!
He's gonna get me for this.
I wanna taste that building over there.
Looks like Camembert.
[Garfield] Later.
[Squeak] Nice going, Garfield.
We lost him.
Yeah, but what's that terrible smell?
It's it's the walls.
This place is made out of limburger!
Oh, no. Let me out! Help!
You're gonna cost me my job, Garfield!
[Garfield] I gotta get out of this place.
-[Garfield shrieking]
-[Harry screaming]
[Harry laughing]
[both screaming]
[Garfield] This car's coming apart!
What do you want?
Everything here is made out of cheese.
It's no use! Cheeseland is a failure.
What else can go wrong?
[Harry and Garfield screaming]
[Eddie] Aaaaah!
[crash!]
I'm ruined, I'm ruined,
I'm ruined, I tell you!
Oh, this whole place was a mistake.
No one wants to come to Cheeseland
except mice,
and they don't have any money.
Or very little.
Too many people these days
are lactose-intolerant.
Excuse me. Are you Eddie Gourmand,
owner of Eddie Gourmand's Cheeseland?
I am. Why?
I represent a company
that builds huge shopping malls
in areas that already have
too many of them.
-We'd like to buy this land and build one.
-Oh! You want to buy my land?
Indeed. We'll pay you more than you paid
to build Cheeseland.
Well, it's a deal.
On the condition that you clear
all these cheesy buildings off the land.
I'll be back later with a contract.
I'm saved! I'll even make a profit.
I just have to figure out
how to get rid of these buildings.
-Hey, Garfield [whispering]
-Yeah, that's a fine idea.
Tell your boss
we'll clear the land for him.
Only if I can help.
Mr. Gourmand says he's gonna
get me a job at the new mall.
Oh, great. Another piece
of gorgonzola roof, Garfield?
-[flies buzzing]
-Oh, no, thanks.
I'm just finishing off
some of the gouda flooring.
And see that three-story building?
I'm trying to figure out how to grill it
between two big slices of bread.
[Harry] Ahh!
[Garfield] Maybe I'll just melt it down
and have the world's biggest fondue.