Totally Spies! (2001) s01e22 Episode Script

1
[music playing]
[theme music]
THEME SONG: Here we go again
on the road till we stop
and then we'll shop.
So one, two, three, now,
baby, here we go, go, go.
Here we go.
Here we go on a
mission undercover
and we're in control.
Here we go.
Here we go.
We're Totally Spies so
get on with the show.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
[music playing]
[bell ringing]
So there's three seconds
left on the clock and swoosh,
right through the net.
It was totally awesome, man.
Then--
INTERCOM: Zachary
Williams, please report
to the principal's office.
Busted, man.
You're in so much trouble.
Hey, no problemo.
The principal probably wants to
put a statue of me in the gym.
[whistling]
No, no, no, no, oh, no!
[scary music]
[bell ringing]
Check it out, girls, the
first annual Beverly Hills Youth
Spirit Awards is
looking for contestants
who typify youthful enthusiasm,
ambition, and optimism.
That is so you, Sammy.
I wish I could be a little more
optimistic about what they're
serving for lunch today.
Fiber, riboflavin,
and vitamins,
everything developing girls
need to grow fit and healthy.
Ew.
I'm starting to
think fit and healthy
is overrated, Mrs. Muckle.
Please tell me
you're not thinking
of entering the contest
that I'm going to win.
I have just as much
chance as you, Mandy.
FYI, this award
goes to someone
who best exhibits youthfulness.
You're better suited to
enter the senior Olympics.
Hm.
Please, Mandy, Sam's got twice
as much youthful youth as you.
Whatever.
I'm just trying to save her
from total embarrassment.
After all, she's the
one with gray hair.
Hm.
Gray hair?
Of course, if
you get one, you're
sure to get another and another.
Yeah, right.
But I'm just going
to check anyway.
I guess it's not so bad.
I mean, gray hair's
distinguishing, right?
Totally.
I mean, what's the big deal?
It's just one great hair.
I can't believe
I just said that.
You're right.
I'll just get rid of it.
Don't pluck it!
Five more will
grow in its place!
I thought you said
it was no big deal.
One hair is no big deal.
Five is an irreversible trend.
But I don't even
want one gray hair.
Oh, now see what
you've done, Clover.
You better tell her
about our surprise.
Oh, yeah.
This will cheer you up, front
row seats to the Happy Fun
Fellas concert on Friday night.
How did you get those?
That concert's been
sold out for weeks.
Oh, it was easy.
The manager of the arena has
a cousin who lives next door
to a guy who's best friends
with a man who married
a childhood classmate
of the mother of a guy I
know from the football.
I just flirted with him, and
he got the tickets for me.
Wow, I guess it
really is who you know.
Anyway, we can't
go to the concert
if you're going to be crying
about your hair, can we?
I guess not.
Thanks, Clover.
[woosh]
Ah!
Ah!
Ugh!
So glad you could
breeze through, girls.
As if we had a choice.
Let's cut to the chase.
Oceanside Middle
School is known for
its superior athletic programs.
Their teams have won state
championships for years.
But suddenly, the teams
are losing all their games.
Wow.
They don't look like they could
win a knitting championship.
I want you girls
to go undercover
and investigate this
strange shift in the student
body of Oceanside.
Sam, you'll pose as
a history teacher.
Alex, you'll be a
gymnastics coach.
And Clover, you'll
be a lunch lady.
As if!
Try again, Jerr.
I suppose you could always
go undercover as a janitor
or a trigonometry teacher.
On second thought,
where's my hair net?
Now, on to the gadgets.
Hoop earring communicators,
expandable cable
bungee belts, Velcro band 3D
body analyzer wristwatch--
[buzzing]
[laughter]
That tickles.
--and finally, DNA
scanner sunglasses,
a butterfly laser
emitting pendant,
and a multipurpose army knife.
You never know?
Jerry, how long
will this job take?
We're going to a Happy Fun
Fellas concert on Friday night.
Well, then, I guess we better
get you started immediately.
Whoa!
Whoa!
This is ridiculous.
Who'd ever believe that I
could pass as a lunch lady?
Hey, lunch lady what's
on the menu today?
Agh!
[growling]
Ah!
Come on, let's take
our undercover positions
before the rest of
the kids show up.
Ugh.
[whistle]
OK, team, that
was really slow.
Let's hit the showers.
All right, everybody out.
But we just started.
It's not like you worked
up a sweat out there.
[beeping]
Wow, their DNA has been changed.
It's like they have the genetic
traits of someone in their 80s.
[bell ringing]
OK, class, today we're going
to learn about the Cold War.
I need a volunteer to
be the Soviet Union.
[buzzing]
OK, then, I'll
volunteer someone.
How about you, Theodore?
Oh, wonderful.
May I say it is indeed
an honor and a privilege
to participate in such a
lively classroom endeavor,
for it is often said--
- Bravo!
You go!
Stand over there.
I'm going to need some
satellite nations.
Here, you be Yugoslavia.
How about you as Czechoslovakia.
Actually, everybody come up
here and face the blackboard.
But why?
Oh, Because you're
the Berlin Wall.
All right, everybody close your
eyes to simulate nighttime.
You too, Theodore.
But I'm the Soviet Union.
You're taking a nap.
[snoring]
[buzzing]
[beeping]
Weird, glandular
function slowing down.
Mental alertness
dangerously low.
Small contusions on
all their foreheads.
Energy and vitality
levels, hm, not that bad.
OK, maybe I was
wrong about that.
What will you have?
Prunes, please.
How about some
ice cream or cake?
No, I'd better
stick with the prunes.
How about you?
Prunes also please.
And if you have anything
else that's easy to chew,
that would be great.
Easy to chew?
You've got a head
full of strong teeth.
Yeah, those were the days.
Aw.
OK, is it me or are these
kids about as lively as sloths.
Yeah, it's like
they've all had
life-o-suction or something.
We've got to figure out
who's behind all this.
Darned kids, leave nothing
but messes everywhere they go,
snot-nosed good for nothings.
OK I think we just found
our number one suspect.
Huh?
Look!
That teacher is turning
a kid into a zombie.
Hey!
Ah!
Oh!
Oh no you don't.
What do you
think you're doing?
Stopping you from stealing
this innocent student's youth.
I was only showing
the lad that he got
an A-plus on his science test.
I never got an A-plus before.
Gosh, thanks, Mrs. Killaher.
We are so sorry.
I don't recall seeing
you at this school before.
Um, that's because
we're part of the school
district's substitute
gym teacher, history
teacher, lunch lady program.
[buzzing]
Yeah.
Oh!
Here's the copies you needed
all coalated and alphabetized.
I also got you these to
brighten up your room.
Thank you, Theodore.
They're beautiful.
You're a nice kid.
Why don't you go
outside and play?
I would, but my
friends are so boring.
They just sit around and talk
about their aches and pains.
Don't you have anything
else that needs to be done?
OK, how about
distributing these memos
to all the classrooms?
Great, thanks.
Hm?
[gasp]
[creepy noise]
[gasp] [panting]
[creepy noise]
Ah!
No, please, don't!
Oh, a pep rally.
I love these school events.
They're so full of energy.
Thus the term, pep rally.
Theodore, what's the matter?
Guys, this is really serious.
Let's spread out and look
for anyone suspicious.
As you all know, this
weekend is Oceanside Junior
High School's homecoming game.
So let's all give a rousing
cheer to the football team.
[applause]
Yay.
This is no pep rally.
It's a pep funeral.
What's weirder
is that Principal
Smith doesn't notice that the
kids are acting so strangely.
He either doesn't
notice or he doesn't care.
Maybe it's because he knows
why they're acting that way.
Let's see what Jerry can
tell us about this guy.
Jerry, it's Alex.
Listen, we may be
onto something.
Can you do some research
on principal John Smith?
Certainly.
Here you go.
[beeping]
[printing noise]
It says that
Smith was previously
a headmaster at Ravenswood
Boys School in England,
but it seems he left under
mysterious circumstances.
Looks like we're going
on a field trip, girls.
[music playing]
Oh!
Wow, looks familiar, huh?
Just like the
students at Oceanside.
[bell ringing]
Hm, lunch time.
Perfect for spy-mode, girls.
Yeah!
OK, let's see what we
can find out about Smith.
Nothing in here.
What's this?
Uh-huh.
Ah!
Ugh.
That was really unexpected.
Whoa, if only I had
a finger big enough
to wear that on a ring.
Weird.
This manuscript describes
how youth can be
extracted from people's souls.
Hey, this guy looks
really familiar.
Yeah, he looks
like Principal Smith.
Except why is he in
those ancient clothes?
Because Smith
is 800 years old.
This is his journal.
There's entries dating
back to the 13th century.
Somehow Smith must be stealing
youth and administering it
to himself.
And I'd bet that jewel has
something to do with it.
You mean Smith literally
found a fountain of youth?
[boom]
Hey!
Oh!
It's the janitor!
And the teacher!
What are you doing here?
The The question is,
what are you doing here?
Getting rid of you brats.
[fighting noises]
[gasp]
We can't let them get away!
Ugh!
[beep]
Whoa!
Where'd they go?
Where'd Alex go?
Alex!
[beep]
[grunting]
- Ah!
- Sammy!
[doink]
Ah!
[helicopter flying]
Where could they
have taken Alex?
Look!
Alex!
Are you all right?
[gasp]
They drained her of youth!
Follow her!
Where did she go?
Ah!
Now we got ya!
[fighting noises]
I don't get it.
Why are you doing
Smith's dirty work?
Give up, girls.
There's no escape.
I'm not sure how you discovered
my little enterprise,
but you've made a
terrible mistake.
We know you're stealing
these kids' youth.
You will never get away with it.
On the contrary I
have for centuries.
And this last big score will
provide me with enough youth
to give me immortality.
What do you mean
last big score?
I mean the Happy
Fun Fellas concert.
You wouldn't dare!
If you touch a single hair
on their precious heads,
I swear I'll open a
heavy duty can of WOOHP
brand butt whoop on ya.
And miss one of the
largest gatherings
of young people in years?
I think not.
Soon all that
youth will be mine.
[grunting]
Open the windows.
The jewel of Sumatra.
Quite rare, only
three in the world.
And I have them all.
When the sun
strikes it, its rays
will disperse and pass
through you, taking
your youth along with it.
We've got to get
loose before that jewel
turns our brains into oatmeal.
[grunting]
I can't get my hands free.
This is awful.
I am too young to be old.
OK, try swinging back and forth.
Maybe I can untie your hands.
[grunting]
OK, I've got you.
Now if I can just cut your rope.
Hurry up, Sam!
The sun's almost
hitting the jewel!
I'm doing my best.
Alex, can you give Sam a hand?
OK, right after my nap.
[snoring]
Alex!
Wake up!
Ah!
Ow!
OK, somebody's going to have
to go lighter on the ice cream.
Um, Clover?
What?
You might want
to close your eyes.
Why?
Wah!
That went well.
Come on, we've got
to get to that concert
before it's too late.
[cheering]
Hey, Beverly Hills,
are you ready to rock?
[music playing]
He could be anywhere.
Let's spread out.
Right.
I'll check back stage.
Alex, why don't you just sit
here and enjoy the music?
[ringing]
Um--
Whoa.
[gasp]
Where do you think you're going?
I have to get back
there and save the world.
I've heard some
good ones in my day,
but nobody ever
pulled that one on me.
But you have got--
Back you go, Missy.
[cheering]
Once the circuit is connected,
the final assault will begin.
All ready.
This ought to slow him down.
Oh!
[labored breathing]
How did she get loose?
I guess I'll have to
finish her off myself.
Ah!
Give it up, Smith.
You will never get
away with this.
On the contrary, young lady.
I already have.
[buzz]
Hey, this isn't in the script.
[sigh]
[gasp]
Yes, that's it.
Give me all your precious youth.
[gasp]
Ah, With I wonder if--
Hey.
Sorry, I love your music.
Stop her!
Whoa!
[thud]
You could have at
least fallen on her.
Where do you
think you're going?
[fighting noises]
Class dismissed.
Out of my way.
[fighting noises]
Ah!
[gasp] Ah!
Ah!
Don't even think about it.
Your youth second
waves are over.
[grunting]
Not so fast, Smith.
No!
[boom]
Was that part of our show?
[gasp] That's weird.
[all gasping]
Hey, I feel like myself again.
And not a second too soon.
I was starting to worry
that we'd have to put
you into a retirement home.
Nice work, girls.
What happened to Smith?
We're not exactly sure.
This is all he left behind.
Odd.
I hope we've seen
the last of him.
For his sake, I
hope we have too.
OK, girls, I've
been old long enough.
Let's dance!
[music playing]
[laughter]
Let's go, Jerry.
Go Jerry.
Go Jerry.
Woo!
Woo!
Go Jerry.
I am so glad that's over with.
Yeah, no offense, Alex, but
you didn't age too gracefully.
Speaking of not
aging gracefully,
I guess I should withdraw from
the youth spirit competition.
Who'd vote for a teenager
with a gray hair.
Wait a second!
Your gray hair is gone!
I told you not
to pluck it, Sam.
I didn't.
But I did wash my hair.
Oh, I am so lame, duh.
I was working on an art
project using gray paint.
I'm not getting
old and decrepit.
I'm just messy.
Put a sock in it.
They're just about to name
me winner of the competition.
And the Youth Spirit
Award goes to Mrs. Muckle.
Mrs. Muckle?
[cheering]
Ugh!
Mrs. Muckle has 50
years of volunteer work,
leadership in the orgphanage,
an annual trip to Europe,
a series of gourmet
cookbooks with all
the profits donated to help
build that new kindergarten.
Congratulations, Mrs. Muckle.
You deserved to win.
It's not how old you are.
It's how you are being old.
Come on down, Mrs. Muckle
and claim your prize,
a brand new wave slicer jet ski.
[humming]
It's OK, Sam.
There's always next year.
Or the year after that.
Or the next 50
years after that.
[laughter]
[music playing]