True Jackson, VP (2008) s01e22 Episode Script

"True Jackson, VP" Was filmed in front Of a live studio audience.
I had the coolest dream Last night.
I had lunch with Lincoln And Einstein.
That doesn't sound like you.
Oh, yeah and then Lincoln looked away for a minute And I put a roach in his Sandwich and he ate it! That sounds like you.
Yeah and then, Einstein got so grossed out That he threw up on Tiger Woods.
Tiger Woods was there too? Yeah, he was sitting On a unicorn, And then the unicorn Pooped in Lincoln's hat.
Three words, "best dream ever!" got some mail for you, True.
Thanks, Jimmy.
It's not my birthday.
I think it's An invitation or something.
It's pretty fancy, huh? You think that's fancy? For my friend's sweet sixteen, She sent everyone A giant balloon and inside was A live butterfly With the invitation In its mouth.
Huh? What kind of postage Did it have? I don't remember.
Next time you see her, Ask her, all right? Unbelievable.
Man, that guy loves mail.
Tickets To the "last minute ball.
" what's that? Only the most fabulous, Most exclusive, Star-studded gala of the year.
When is it? Tonight.
That's why they call it "the last minute ball.
" No one gets a ticket To the last minute.
They should call it the "you should've been there ball" And send the invitations out The day after.
We're going to a ball? We'll be like Real life princesses.
We should rent a giant Pumpkin To take us And I'll dance with the Duke And you're taking me, right? I only have two tickets.
Oh, don't worry about me, There's no way I'm going To some goofy ball.
It says here The shetland ponies are playing.
Shetland ponies! Oh, my! That's my favorite band! Sorry Lulu, You can go next time.
Forget that, I'm True's bff.
Yeah, well I'm her bbsk Best bud since kindergarten.
You guys are not making This easy for me, sorry.
Look, I promise I'll think long and hard about Who I want to take.
I know who I'd like to take.
Kopelman! Gross! from my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grownup job I never really knew I could work this hard used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new VP I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just messin' around and we're making new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's goin' down cause I'm the new v.
P.
excuse me, Ms.
Cantwell, Is there anything You need me to do? That depends, who are you? I'm your new assistant, Laura.
Perfect.
I need you to send these revised Designs to our manufacturer.
Check.
Update the master sketchbook.
Check.
Fill up my silver 360 In the garage check.
And stop saying "check.
" check.
Sorry.
That one slipped out.
And then when you're done With all that, Do everything else on this list.
Oh, and I'm doing a fitting For a new model, vivienne.
When she arrives, send her in.
She'll be the hungry girl With half a brain.
You did not hear that.
This should be fun.
Excuse me, I'm supposed to be Meeting an ardmarnar? Amanda, is it cantwaffle? Cantwell.
Oh, you must be vivienne.
Oh, it's pronounced Vivian.
Yeah that's what I said.
I know.
Oh, go behind that screen And try this on.
Awesome! Vivienne? Yes? Screen.
Sometimes I think, If my head wasn't screwed on, It would fall off.
Yes, I'm sure that's A daily concern.
And be careful, That dress Is incredibly delicate.
What did you gotcha.
You know, not all models Are half brained and hungry.
No, offense, but yes, They are, now, go change.
Pretty crazy what happened To that silver 360 In the garage, huh? It just exploded for no reason.
What? Gotcha! well, she's the coldest girl I know but I would never let her go 'cause she lets me drive her broom.
what are you doing? I'm just serenading you With the shetland pony's Biggest hit, "snow witch.
" Just getting you pumped up For our evening.
I didn't pick you.
Does that mean you pick me? No.
Does that mean you pick me? No.
I am still thinking.
Oh, come on, True.
We'll be like A couple of cinderellas Off to meet Our prince charmings.
Oh, we're going to need Some little mice friends.
I'd like to meet My prince charming.
You already have, Prince Jimmy.
Lulu, shh! I don't know What you're talking about.
I bet he looks so cute In a tuxedo.
So what you're going to wear? I bet you look great in purple.
Red? Green? Maybe all three.
Hey, did you guys catch The game last night? What game? Any game, can you please just Have some guy talk? Purple! Ha ha, purple! See, I can talk about anythi You want, Okay, because you're my bbsk.
Shall I make you some coco? Sure.
Great.
So obvious, He's just kissing up to you Because he wants your ticket.
Your hair looks so cute today.
Stop! I have precisely Six minutes to eat my sandwich.
Please stop distracting me.
I was just stirring.
That kind of stirring Leads to chitchat And I don't have time.
So, um Some weather we're having, huh? Are you insane? I told you, I don't Want to talk.
Now, it's five minutes.
Yes.
Oscar, you missed it.
I just pulled The greatest prank ever On the new girl, Laura.
Yes, she mentioned Something about it On her way to the elevator.
What did she say? I quit.
Please tell me you're Saying you quit, Not quoting her.
She said she can't work here And she threw this at me.
Amanda won't care, right? She'll care, all right.
This is the first assistant Who seemed like She was going to work out.
Amanda is going to be furious.
I don't like when She's furious, Ah, just don't tell her, okay? I think she's going To notice that her assistant Quit.
Who quit? Oscar was thinking About quitting, But I talked him out of it.
Thanks again, Ryan.
I've decided to stay.
Has anyone seen Laura? Um, yes.
Where is she? She said she was going To pull fabric swatches.
Excellent, have her bring Them to me right away.
Where would I find Fabrics swatches? In the design room.
Great.
What are fabric swatches? Uh-oh, a zipper.
How does it go again? Uppie oni, downie offie.
You don't know how to zipper? My cousin can zipper, And he's only three.
Oh, sorry, I thought You were that Amanda woman.
I love messing with her.
It does have A certain satisfaction.
She was treating me like I'm an idiot, Just because I'm model.
Well, if it makes you Feel any better She thinks I'm an idiot too And I'm a vice president.
Oh, I heard about you.
Max madigan discovered you In the lobby.
That's me, True Jackson, VP.
Vivienne.
No last name, it's kind Of an affectation.
Hey, you want to hang out Later? My office has a popcorn machine.
I probably can't.
Amanda said if I leave this room She'll hunt me down And dye my hair green.
Then, you could be A model on mars.
That's exactly The joke I made! True, you gotta help me.
Where would I find Fabric swatches? Right there.
Why? Well, I'm sort Of Amanda's assistant, But don't tell her.
Wait a minute.
What do you mean, You're Amanda's assistant? It's a long story.
I made Laura quit, Now I'm covering So Amanda doesn't find out.
Okay, it's a much shorter story Than I thought.
Ryan, she's gonna freak.
Not if I can help it.
Hi, I'm Ryan Laserbeam, I'm the new VP.
You just said You're an assistant.
The truth is, he's neither.
Well, this isn't working out Like I hoped, bye.
Oh, hey Jimmy! You are gonna love this.
I just got a letter From Ecuador.
Check out the stamp.
Yeah, it's rare.
Are you okay? You seem distracted.
Uncle Max gave me His tickets For "the last minute ball" And I sort of thought, you know, It might be fun to go With someone, But then I was like, "nah, I'll just go myself.
" And then, I was thinking It might be fun To go with someone But I was like, "nah, I'll just go alone" and then, I was thinking Jimmy! Is there Someone you wanted to go with? Well, yeah, But we work together, I don't know if it's cool.
It's cool, it's way cool.
You really think I should ask? Ask away? True ji! Jimmy, where'd ya go? Jimmy, gotcha.
Where were you? Down the hall.
Ella in accounting Wore her tap shoes to work.
Come on, you gotta see this.
Not now.
I'm going to freak out.
What's going on? Oh, I've never worked so hard In my life? You've never worked at all.
Which only helps To prove my point.
You guys I really need to talk.
I'm so confused.
Jimmy came in and said He also had tickets To the "last minute ball.
" Then, he said he wanted To ask someone here And wanted to know if I thought It would be cool, then he left.
Weird, right? He's just shy.
Do you think? Without a doubt.
What do you think, Ryan? Sleeping.
You know what this means? If Jimmy takes me to the ball, You guys can have my tickets.
Awake! Thank you so much.
Shetland ponies, yeah! Children! I can't find Laura.
Was she just in here? Yes.
When? Just now.
She was in and out so fast That you probably didn't notice.
Well, did she say Where she was going? Yeah yeah yeah.
She said she was on her way To production.
She had to deliver some disowns, Designs.
Then she's Ahead of the schedule? That girl is making Startling progress On my "to-do list.
" well, I'm off to production.
Down the hall to the right.
All right.
Hey, Oscar.
Hey, Jimmy.
You're all ready For the "last minute ball?" well, I picked up my tux, Shined my shoes, Now all I need to do is Ask my date.
You do know The ball is in an hour? I know.
The thing is I was About to ask her and then I got nervous.
I guess the moment Just didn't seem right.
I want everything to be perfect.
Hi, True! Are you hiding back there? That Ella! Hey, is that the new Greg schaffer? Cube of deception.
Yes.
Oh, it's so good.
It's even better than His other one.
Triangle of lies? No.
Circle of falsehoods? No.
Hexagon of duplicity? That's the new one.
You know, I really found The symbolism fascinating, Except that There's no pictures! How are you supposed to Follow along Without any pictures? Oh, and it's a fan too? Yeah, vivienne, Maybe a little less of this? Sorry, I was just Taking a break, To use the potty in there.
That's my office.
There's no bathroom in there? I like you.
Hey, Lulu, I got a message from True, Something about A mail emergency? Yes, go right in.
The mail cart has landed.
I repeat the mail cart Has landed.
Hello, James.
Hey.
Got some mail? You sit down.
Can I get you some bubbly? I have sparkling apple? I don't usually drink Fizzy stuff, Gives me monster gas.
Oh, you.
This is a perfect moment, Isn't it? For what? I don't know, sitting, Talking, asking.
Asking? You know, if there was Something you wanted to ask me? True? Are you okay? I'm perfect Just like this moment.
About this "last minute ball.
" yes! What's going on? Did somebody just ask Somebody something? Beat it, Lulu.
Oh, too soon.
Sorry, I'll come back later.
Now, where were we? Time's wasting.
It is getting late.
I've gotta get mail out Before last pickup.
Sorry, it's really hard To hear through the door.
Next time, Can you leave it open? Lulu! See, that I heard.
What's with you? I'm little confused About something.
Not interested.
It's about a boy.
Go on.
Well, there's this guy And I think he wants to take me To the "last minute ball.
" But every time He's about to ask me, He dsn't.
Um-hmm.
There's a simple explanation.
What is it? Boys are weird.
So, what do I do? Well, I'll tell you What you don't do.
You don't just sit around And wait, Those days are over, sister.
You just walk right up to him And tell him what you want.
I guess, I could do that.
You go, girl.
Do people still say that? Only when they care.
Oh, please.
Before you ask him, Make sure you put your gown on.
No man can resist a lady In a fancy dress.
Yeah, good thinking.
Don't even think about it, Ella.
What do you think You're doing? I'm playing a video game.
Yeah, take that, German tank where's Laura? She is collating Your sales report.
Why do you have Laura's "to-do list?" oh, is that what this is? Because she's gone.
Gone? Quit this morning.
I guess we'll never know why.
No use in even trying To find out.
What are you talking about? If Laura quit, then Who's been doing my work? Me.
Unbelievable.
Well I will not just stand here While you Diminish her abilities.
Now quit loitering at her desk.
But I'm and when you see Laura, Please tell her to bring me Those little biscuits I love so much.
Oscar, where do I find Those little biscuits She loves so much? Chinatown.
Oh, come on! I think it might be A loose connection.
That light has been Flickering all day.
Wow, you look like a model.
Stop.
Hey.
Thanks.
Have you seen Jimmy? Ooh, there he is.
Here goes.
We're going to be The classiest couple Of the ball.
Snazzy.
That's the label, Snazzy after dark.
Okay, let's go.
Ah ah ah.
Not until we go Over the rules for this evening.
What rules? I will not hold your purse, I will not slow dance And I don't even want to hear The word "princess.
" okay, here are my rules.
You will hold my purse And you will slow dance Because tonight, I am definitely A princess.
Hey, Oscar, Did True and Jimmy leave yet? Jimmy did, but not with True.
He was with vivienne.
Where's True now? She went that way.
True? Are you okay? Sitting on the floor In a ball gown.
What makes you think Anything is wrong? We heard.
I feel so stupid.
Don't say that.
I really thought He was going to ask me.
The whole time, He just wanted to ask vivienne.
Ah, what a mutt With modely hair And that modely face.
I hate her.
I don't.
I wish I did, But I don't.
She's really nice.
I'm okay, really? You guys should get going.
We're not going anywhere.
Unless you're in the mood For some yogurt.
What about The shetland ponies? Ah, more like The shetland phonies, I mean, Yeah they sing awesome songs And put on an elaborate Stage show, we get it! Lulu, and finding A Duke to dance with? If the Duke really loves me, He'll wait.
Are you sure? This is what bffs do.
And bbsks.
I love you guys.
All right.
Let's go get that yogurt.
I'm buying.
Since when did you Have any money? Since Lulu asked me To hold her purse.
What do you think Jimmy Is doing right now? Probably wishing he was here.
It's the place to be party! Shhhhh.
Paaaartyyy.
Amanda, What are you doing here? I'm celebrating.
I finally found an assistant Who can get all my work done, In a day.
You like yogurt, ma'am? I'm treating with Lulu's money.
Oh, sure.
I'll take A triple banana hello With chocolateberry bum-bums.
Are you sure? Those things are like 12 bucks? No worries.
So, what happened To asking out your boy? Did you chicken out? No, he asked someone else.
Oh, jerk.
I still like him though.
Yeah, I've been there.
You seem to be Taking it rather well, though.
No, I'm faking it.
On the inside, I'm like this.
I've been there too.
Well, if I can give you One piece of knowledge From years of experience The feeling that you have Right now, it goes away I know.
You're right.
The way I feel right now, I don't think I'll ever Smile again.
Oh, very funny ladies.
What? Hah, hah.
Someone put a fake cockroach In my yogurt.
Well, guess what? Joke's on you because I like the taste of plastic.
I didn't put anything In your yogurt.
I didn't even know They made fake cockroaches.