90210 s01e23 Episode Script

Previously on 90210: This is my sister.
This is Jen.
- Do you really wanna live together?|- Absolutely.
For real.
Where do you wanna live? I can't go to prom.
|I can't deal with West Beverly kids yet.
I'm pregnant, and it's your baby.
- Are you trying to ruin my life, Ade?|- You are a volcano.
This whole good-girl routine,|it's just a mask.
But when you finally|can't take it anymore and you explode, it's gonna be fantastic.
I would enjoy having dinner with you.
|How about tomorrow? Why the hell not? I don't wanna be some booty call.
I'm not the type of girl you run into at|a restaurant and take into a bathroom.
Would you go to the prom with me? - Really?|- Really.
We got the house.
The bank is saying|it might take up to a week to sort out.
I still don't want you|to pay with your money.
- But I don't mind.
|- Oh, you're so sweet.
I thought the prom was fun,|but this after-prom party's even better.
This year, after-prom parties will|lead to very serious consequences.
All joking aside, I have a real message|here for the sophomore class.
As you know,|parties after this year's junior prom led to one student being arrested|for DUl, several others being treated|for alcohol poisoning.
Which is why the school board in conjunction with|the Beverly Hills Police Department has come up with a new policy|on after-prom parties.
If you are caught|at an after-prom party where alcohol is being served,|you will be suspended.
If you're suspended,|you will have to go to summer school.
So you're saying that one party|can ruin my whole summer? Yes, it can.
|So think about the consequences.
Attend the school-sanctioned|post-prom party only, be smart and safe on prom night.
- Okay, what were you thinking?|- My dad begged me, guilted me, and then promised to buy me|whatever prom dress I wanted.
- I certainly hope you're getting Chanel.
|- Seriously.
- Not that I have a prom date yet.
|- Hey, Annie.
Hey.
So how do you know|the dork-asaurus? Charlie Pinkwater? Oh, he is very big|in the world of stage crew.
Tasty.
Hey, maybe Charlie Pinkwater|could take you to the prom.
- Shut up.
No way.
|- Oh, right, he probably saw the video.
Am I ever gonna live it down? Of course you will, honey.
I mean,|Mariah Carey got over "Glitter," right? Not helping.
Thank you.
Thank you.
What is this? It's a California horn shark.
See the spots?|The large pectoral fins? Why didn't you take the test? It only counts for 20 percent|of your grade.
I have an 85 average,|so even with a zero, I'll still have a 68, which means I'll pass.
I don't get you, Liam.
I mean,|what are you trying to prove? You're clearly a smart kid.
|You got a lot of potential.
Why are you throwing it away? You know, it's too bad|I'm not from the inner city.
Then you could inspire me|to win the academic decathlon with your tough, but earnest coaching|and wise platitudes about life.
They could even make|a major motion picture.
You can go.
- O Captain my Captain!|- Very nice.
Hey.
- Mr.
Matthews, you want to see me?|- Yeah.
I have great news.
Can you follow me|to the living room, please? The couch goes in here.
Facing the fireplace|or facing the windows? - The window.
|- Fireplace.
The window.
|You wanna always prioritize the view.
You have much to learn, grasshopper.
I still can't believe you wanted to buy|a white leather couch.
God, you are so L.
A.
- Hey, can I ask your advice?|- Yeah, no white leather pants either.
Okay, so I'm sort of, whatever,|seeing this guy Liam.
He likes me.
I'm not sure if he knows|he likes me, but I know he likes me.
He just has a really,|really bad case of relationship phobia.
But I want him|to go to the prom with me.
Well, if you wanna get a man to do|what you want, you pull a "Lysistrata.
" What's that,|like an inner-thigh muscle? No.
The play by Aristophanes, where women withhold sex|to get what they want.
What if what they want is sex? You have a lot to learn, grasshopper.
Don't touch that.
Don't touch that.
Okay, so do you wanna be|good cop this time or bad cop? I was the bad cop with David Harris|last week.
That was your bad cop?|I thought you were being the good cop.
That was the bad cop|with the heart of gold.
Is that what that was? - Okay, I am gonna be bad cop.
|- Yes.
Wow, both of you.
I had no idea|I could expect a threesome.
Sit down, Liam.
Is this about Matthews? Because I'm telling you,|that man does not appreciate art.
I will cut to the chase.
|Your father called us yesterday.
Oh, wow.
|Well, I haven't talked to him in ten years.
What'd he say? Where's he been? - Were you referring to my stepdad?|- Right, your stepfather.
He's concerned about you, Liam.
He thinks that you are detached,|anti-social, not committed to this school.
"Committed"|being the operative word.
This isn't a joke, Liam.
He requested your records.
|He's looking at military schools.
You don't wanna go|to a military school.
You know what?|Maybe he does.
I have brochures.
No, Kel, he doesn't need those.
Look, there's not much time left|before the end of the year.
You make a little effort, study hard|for your finals, bring up your grades Oh, here we go.
Show willingness to get involved|with the community at West Beverly.
How? Join a pep squad? Student council?|The Wild Cat Crooners? Frankly, any of those things|could help at this point.
He just needs to see|that you're making an effort.
Plenty of options.
So how tan do you wanna go? I'm not sure.
Never done this before.
My friend just said|everybody goes tanning before prom.
Oh, it's for prom?|Why didn't you just say so? All right, we'll go with|weekend in Barbados.
As long as it's not too dark.
|I don't wanna look silly or anything.
Oh, you won't look silly.
|You'll look awesome.
Oh, God, I love prom.
- Are you psyched?|- Yeah.
I'm just not the most experienced|prom-goer.
Turn around.
Bum to me.
Well, you came to the right person.
All right, here's what you need to do.
You need to get your hair blown out,|your eyebrows done.
- You have to get acrylic nails.
|- Nails? Really? Well, yeah.
|You don't wanna stand out, do you? - No, definitely not.
|- Okay, good.
Now, let's see.
The day of This is very important.
- Shave everywhere.
Okay.
- Hello?|- What's up? Oh, not much.
|Just reading a classic Greek play.
So listen, do you wanna|go to the prom with me? - Yeah, sure.
|- Cool.
So look, I'll talk to you tomorrow,|all right? Yeah, sounds good.
Oh, my God! Oh my God! Oh, my God! Oh my God!|Oh, my God! Take your seats.
Seats, everybody.
Put your tucheses in your chairs if you know what's good|for your health.
- What is that supposed to mean?|- Nothing.
Wondering how long it's gonna take|for you to drop the nice-girl act.
Did it ever occur to you|that maybe it's not an act? - Maybe I'm just a nice person?|- Not really.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen.
Could you all pick a partner? - Hey, Annie.
Do you have a partner?|- Nope.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen,|the first part of CPR is Hey, so I happen to hear|through the grapevine - that you might be prom eligible?|- What? All of which is a long introduction|to a question I'd like to pose.
That question being, would you possibly want to go|to the sophomore prom with me? which brings us|to the ABCs of CPR.
Yes, sure, Charlie.
|I would love to go to prom with you.
I would be thrilled.
Thrilled.
Hey, come on.
Pretty sharp, huh? No.
Girls, I'm telling you,|are not into the flashy stuff.
They just want it simple, classy,|like James Bond.
All right, fine.
|Would James Bond use a cane? No, he would not.
No.
Hey, I got picked for the All-American|Lacrosse camp this summer.
Shut up.
That's You know what? I'm so impressed,|I can't even be jealous.
- Yeah, it's pretty cool.
|- Cool? You're set, man.
There's scouts all over that camp.
They see you, you get recruited, you get a scholarship|to any college you want.
Damn, bro.
Your whole life,|it just got figured out.
I guess.
And I was just planning|on going to Montana this summer.
You know, visit my dad,|take a road trip.
But now it's gonna be nothing but|wind sprints and shooting drills for me.
- Sounds pretty amazing to me.
|- What sounds amazing? - Hi.
|- Hi.
Mr.
Ethan here just got tapped|for the All American Lacrosse camp.
What? That is amazing.
I forget sometimes|you're like King Jock.
Yeah.
Yeah, me too.
|Anyway, I'm gonna head out.
Well, how goes|the online tux shopping? You guys got accessories|and whatever picked out? Well, I'm not going, but I think|we got Dixon all squared away.
- What do you mean you're not going?|- I don't have a date.
Well, you should just go with us.
|I mean, you don't need a date.
- We're all basically going as a group.
|- Yeah, we got a pretty sick ride.
Come on, I could really use|the moral support.
Please? - Yeah, sure.
See you guys later.
|- All right, man.
Hey, yo, I'm gonna get you this top hat,|all right? No, please do not.
- What is this?|- He asked for it.
- He said|- You are not He said I should|go for that T-Pain look.
All right, only you.
|Only you can pull it off.
I could pull it off.
I think I can.
We are going to Navid's.
Dad, his parents are gonna be there.
|It's not a party.
I am not asking you to be a tattletale.
I am just saying|that if there is an illegal, non-school sponsored after party,|I think that you should tell me about it.
- Harry.
|- What? Sweetheart, this is a Beverly Hills|party we are talking about.
I grew up here, I went to these parties,|and there were drugs, sex, booze.
- What did I miss?|- Oh, you know, just Dad telling an intoxicating story|about his degenerate peers.
And I do mean intoxicating.
Honey, Silver could have stayed|for dinner.
Oh, no, no, it's I don't know.
|She had a lot of homework and stuff.
- Did you find a tux?|- Yeah.
You know, it's pretty boring though.
|But it's cool.
All I care about|is Silver having a good time.
If she has a good time and she sees|West Bev isn't such a bad place, I'll bet she'll come back to school|next year.
Yeah, well, I hope it works out.
I just don't want you|to get your hopes up.
I appreciate it, Mom, but don't worry|about me.
I got this.
I got this.
So, Dixon, where were you saying|that after-prom party was again? Okay, this is so pretty.
- Too sweet for me.
|- I'll try it.
Thanks.
I don't imagine that you have|any maternity prom dresses? Well, of course.
Come here.
- You know what you should do?|- No.
Call Jaws, like,|the last possible moment, tell him you're sick,|then you can find another date.
- He'll never know.
|- I am not saying that I'm sick.
Becky, I can't decide.
|These all look so good on me.
I may get all of these|and then ask Jen's advice later.
No problem.
Credit card.
Okay, ladies, what do you think? - It's so pretty.
|- But not you.
I'm really just going for Dixon.
|I don't wanna stand out.
- Okay, I'm gonna go try on my dress.
|- Shoes.
You know what we could do?|Run over your legs with my car.
Enough.
Okay? I'm not exactly crazy|about your prom date either, FYI.
You know what, Annie?|You need to get onboard.
Liam is clearly|over his commitment issues.
Why else would he have invited me|to come with him? You're right.
I'm sorry.
|I'm just glad that you're happy.
I am.
Hey, Naomi.
Had a bit of a problem.
|Your card was declined.
- Jen?|- Don't track mud on the rugs.
- Jen, I need to ask you something.
|- Oh, wait.
First, let me show you my prom dress.
Your what? Ryan Matthews|asked me to be his date.
I thought I'd go as a lark.
Anyway, how hilarious is it to wear|couture to the sophomore prom? Yeah, pretty hilarious.
Listen, Jen,|my Amex was declined today.
I called our business manager.
|She said I reached my limit.
I didn't know|the card even had a limit.
Oh, my God, how mortifying.
I didn't know|I was paying for everything.
I mean, the furniture, the paintings,|the couture.
It all went on my card, didn't it? I'm sorry.
I don't get it.
I thought you worked out|the whole wiring-money business? What's going on? God.
The truth is, I lied to you.
This is so embarrassing.
I'm in a bit of a pinch financially.
I invested in the market|at the wrong time.
But it'll all turn around.
|I mean, the market is looking up.
Yes.
But in the short term, I'm a bit strapped.
I'm sorry.
I am truly, truly sorry.
It's okay.
I just - Why did you lie to me?|- I I'm the big sister.
|I wanted to take care of you.
I didn't want you|to have to take care of me.
I'm glad to help.
I really am.
But if I am paying for everything, then I get to choose the couch.
- We're going with white leather.
|- Okay.
Cool.
White leather it is.
One second.
- You ready?|- I can't.
I'm sorry.
|I thought I could, but I can't.
Come on, baby,|I know you can do this.
Everyone's gonna be staring at me.
Not if you walk by me.
I mean, hello.
|Eight months pregnant.
Yeah, if things get bad,|you can hide behind her stomach.
Come on, baby,|I know you can do this.
Okay.
- Yes.
|- Okay.
Yes.
Come on, man.
- Can we just go inside?|- Oh, sure.
Do you think that they shot|"The Poseidon Adventure" here? Look at that jerk.
Hey, don't worry about Ty.
All those sleepless nights deciding whether or not|to raise a baby.
He should know about that.
|He should know what it's been like.
I'm gonna tell him that right now.
Have a seat.
I'm fine.
It's just a false labor pain.
There's a difference|between false labor pains and fake labor pains? Just ignore Ty.
Now, that's really unfair.
|You should be up there.
- Oh, no, no, really, that's okay.
|- No, you should be.
You're one of the five prettiest girls|at West Bev.
I guess it's just because you're new.
I'm nominated for Prom King? Silver, hey.
|I'm really glad you could make it.
Me too.
Thanks.
See? What did I tell you?|Everybody's being nice, huh? Sure.
I'm sorry, you're right.
|Everyone's being nice.
They're treating me|like I have a terminal disease, - but they're being nice.
|- That's not true.
Come on.
Yeah, whatever, I'm fine.
|I can deal with this for one night, right? I go ooh ooh, you go ah ah La la la la, la la la la|I can't lie, lie, lie, lie, lie I wanna wanna wanna|Get get get what I want, don't stop Gimme gimme gimme|What you got got 'Cause I can't wait wait wait|Any more more more Don't even talk|About the consequence 'Cause right now you're the only thing|That's making any sense to me - Come on.
|- Look, teachers don't dance.
- Does this count as dancing?|- I think that's okay.
Okay, but what if I do this? Is that okay? And what if we just sway|back and forth like this? Is that okay? I wanna introduce you|to a friend of mine.
- Hey, Kelly.
|- Jen.
- Miss Taylor.
|- You two know each other? Miss Taylor|was my guidance counselor - back in the good old days.
|- Call me Kelly, please.
Wow, how about that? - Oh, cool band, huh?|- Yeah.
I got like 20 cases of beer, and Topher's brother brought over|vodka, gin, whiskey, bourbon Wait, are whiskey and bourbon|the same thing? Anyway, all we have to do|is bring it in from the garage after my parents leave|for Palm Springs.
- It's gonna be so much fun.
|- Thank you, Phoebe Abrams.
- This has been fun.
|- Oh, yeah, totally.
We'll have to go out again sometime,|you know, under less formal circumstances.
Look, Charlie, I'm not interested.
Romantically.
- Then why did you say yes?|- Well, you asked.
- And you said you'd be thrilled.
|- Well, I didn't have a date, and I knew how much|you wanted to go with me.
- So it was a pity date?|- I was just trying to be nice.
You know what would have been nice?|Being honest with me.
I could have asked a girl|who actually wanted to go with me.
Who actually was thrilled.
You know what?|Take your pity and shove it.
The lights are out|And I barely know you We're going up|And the place is slowing down I knew you'd come around You captivated me|Something about you has got me - Hey.
|- Hey, how are you? So where's this Liam|I've heard so much about? Will you be mine tonight? Take me on the floor - Seems like the life of the party.
|- Oh, yeah.
He's not a prom person.
He's just here for me.
Sweet.
- He really likes me.
|- I'm sure he does.
Just take me on the floor I can give you more You kill me, you kill me, you kill Can I borrow this mic for a second?|Thank you.
Hey, everybody.
|Quick announcement.
I just I wanna tell you|that I am really stoked about the after-prom party|at Phoebe Abrams' house tonight.
I will be there|with a bunch of my friends from the Beverly Hills|Police Department.
So anyway, I'll see you there.
|Carry on.
Who the hell told him? I know who it was.
Hello, Miss Taylor.
- Kelly.
|- Kelly.
How funny that you and I would end up|having the same taste in men? - I'm sorry?|- Didn't you and Ryan? Oh, come on.
|I was totally picking up vibes.
Yes, we dated briefly a while ago.
I thought so.
|I'm rarely wrong about vibes.
You know,|I think academics are terribly sexy.
And I don't just mean teachers.
|When I was at Yale, I briefly dated someone|in the registrar's office.
- You don't say.
|- He was pretty much a bore, actually.
Although I did get to read|my recommendation letters from high school.
That was sweet.
Most of them were rather glowing.
There was one though|that was slightly less than glowing.
I wrote that letter|because it's my job to give the colleges an honest appraisal of the students.
You said that in your opinion, I was a narcissist|with no moral compass.
Did you really think Yale|was gonna listen to you, a guidance counselor? I had an impeccable transcript.
|I was president of the senior class.
I'm a legacy.
I got in early.
You stole Liz Hardigan's term paper.
God, you're still on about that?|You're like Ahab.
Man, such a busybody.
Drop the innocent act, okay? Because I know what kind of person|you really are.
Self-centered, devious, willing to do|whatever it takes to get what you want.
Oh, take it easy, okay?|I haven't even slept with him yet.
No, this has nothing to do with Ryan.
It has to do with you stealing that girl's|term paper out of the teacher's desk all so you can beat her out|as valedictorian.
I am appalled|that you think so little of me.
Simply appalled.
Oh, hey, being that|you're a guidance counselor, maybe you could give me|a little guidance about Ryan? Tell me, Miss Taylor,|what does he like in bed? Ladies and gentlemen,|welcome to the Prommies.
Tonight, we have a terrific bunch|of nominees.
And I'm sure they would all agree|it's an honor to be nominated.
But it sucks to lose.
So without further ado, the prom king is Dixon Wilson.
Thanks.
Well, this is pretty cool.
All right, Dixon.
I want you guys to give it up|for my fellow nominees, who are also very, very cool.
Thank you, guys.
Way to go, Dixon! And now, the moment|you've all been waiting for, the sophomore prom queen.
And might I say,|you're all lovely ladies.
Not my type, but lovely.
It seems that the winner is a write-in.
What? Is that fair? And the Prommie goes to Erin Silver.
Get up there, Erin! Go get up there! See? I told you|everybody supports you.
Did you do this?|Did you get everybody to write me in? Well, it was my idea,|but everybody here likes you, Silver.
Go get your Prommie.
Thank you guys so much.
I'll tell you,|this has been a hard year for me.
It's made me question everything.
Who I am, what I like,|what I'm all about.
So thank you for reminding me.
This is not me.
I hate proms.
I do.
|I'm sorry, but I really do.
They're all about conformity|and popularity and all these things I really detest.
All I wanted recently was to fit in.
And I tried really hard.
|I mean, look at me.
I paid good money|Real, human Earth dollars.
- To have some foul-smelling|orange chemicals sprayed on my body to approximate the effect|of sun damage.
I have pieces of|God knows what kind of toxic plastic superglued to my fingernails.
And these shoes are hideously,|hideously painful.
At this moment, I'm telling you,|I cannot for the life of me feel my toes.
And I wanna feel my toes.
So maybe I am a freak.
But that is better than being some weird|zombie, prom-loving loser.
I don't know exactly who I am,|but I do know who I am not.
And I am no prom queen.
Let me help you with that.
So thanks, but no thanks.
All right, Silver.
- Hello, Ethan.
|- Hey, Mr.
Matthews.
So listen, I'm not gonna go|to the lacrosse camp.
- What?|- I'm gonna visit my dad in Montana.
Go backpacking|for a couple months.
Well, are you sure? I mean,|you're giving up a huge opportunity.
There's gonna be|college scouts there.
I know, but, look, I may not be sure|what I'm about exactly, but it's not Lacrosse.
I know that.
Why'd you tell your dad|about my party? - I didn't.
|- Yeah, right.
- Wait, is that what everyone thinks?|- They don't think, they know.
Everyone saw you in your dad's video,|Annie.
You're a rat.
- I didn't tell my dad.
|- Of course you didn't.
- Then why do people think I did?|- Who cares what people think? - I'll be right back, okay?|- Yeah.
Hey, I've been looking|everywhere for you.
Thank you for getting everyone|to write my name in.
It was just what I needed.
You know? It, like, woke me up.
I feel so much better.
I wanna come back|to West Beverly, Dixon.
I'm ready to come back.
That's great.
What's wrong? You okay? Why do you care?|I'm just a zombie, prom-loving loser.
Silver.
That speech was awesome.
Thanks.
It's such a drag|they don't serve any liquor.
Yeah, well,|it is a sophomore prom, so - Sorry, I have to take this.
|- Yeah, no problem.
- Hurry back.
|- I will.
- Hey, can I talk to you for a second?|- Yeah, sure.
What's up? There's something|that you should know.
Jen, not a nice person.
I know her pretty well,|and she is a compulsive liar.
She's practically a sociopath.
She used to have everybody|snowed over, but not me.
Look, I'm sorry, I should have asked you|if it was cool for me to bring a date.
- I didn't mean to disrespect you.
|- Wait, no, no, no.
I thought we were cool|after that night.
And, you know,|we said no strings attached.
You know what? I'm not jealous.
|I am trying to be a friend here.
Okay.
I'm not interested in you anymore.
I'm not.
Is there someone else? I've moved on.
That's enough.
I'm hanging up on you, Olivier.
You see,|this is exactly why I want a divorce.
It's nice getting air.
I can tell you were claustrophobic|in there.
I was too, actually.
Have you ever been|on the Paramount lot before? All right, last look.
Oh, look,|they're shooting something.
Wanna walk by|and see if we get discovered? - Definitely not.
|- Yeah, me either.
Rolling.
Wanna walk to New York? So you're probably|one of those people who thinks New York|is better than L.
A.
Give L.
A.
Time.
It has everything.
|Mountains, beaches.
- Great weather.
|- There is no weather here.
I miss the snow.
Miss Taylor.
Hey, you two.
I was just getting ready|to head back inside.
Liam, I'm glad to see|you came to the prom.
I'm sure your stepfather|will be glad too.
It's a step in the right direction.
Well, have fun exploring the lot.
What did she mean, your stepfather|would be glad you came? Liam? - What did she mean?|- I don't know.
My stepdad wants me|to get involved with school stuff.
Is that why you asked me|to the prom? What does it matter? I'm here.
You know why it matters?|Because I like you.
Okay? I don't care if it's not cool.
|I'm tired of pretending.
I actually like you.
And everyone said that I was a fool,|you don't treat me right.
And it's true.
I mean, all night you haven't wanted|to dance or take photos or talk.
But still, stupid me|just kept on defending you.
I was like, "Oh, my God,|he invited me to prom.
Oh, my God,|he cleaned out the trash in his car.
Oh, my God, he bought me|a black orchid corsage.
" I mean Why did you get me this corsage? I knew I was supposed to.
But it's a black orchid.
- It's what they had in the store.
|- That's not true.
You have to special order|black orchids.
I know because|they're my favorite flower, but the question is,|how did you know they're my favorite? Did you ask someone? No, I You looked on my Facebook page,|didn't you? You did.
You wanted to learn about me,|so you looked on my Facebook page.
Then you looked|at my personal interests and in between spicy tuna rolls|and the smell of Neiman Marcus, you saw black orchids.
So you went out and ordered one|for me to make me happy.
Because you like me.
Admit it.
You like me.
You like me, don't you? Yeah.
Freeze, don't move a muscle.
- Oh, my God, Harry.
|- Hey, I was being the bad cop.
- So you having fun?|- Oh, yeah, totally.
Okay, not totally.
I tried to give a friend advice.
- I should have just stayed out of it.
|- No, that's not you.
- Right, because I'm a busybody.
|- No, that's not what I meant.
You care about people.
|You're passionate.
And whoever this friend is,|if they can't see that, then he's an idiot.
Or she's an idiot,|but I'm guessing that it's a he.
- Thank you, Harry.
|- I mean it.
It's my wife.
You know,|she wouldn't go to prom with me.
Maybe I should punish her|and not answer.
- Go.
Go.
|- All right.
Hey, sweetie.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
- What was that for?|- For being a jackass.
Dude, I'm so sick of looking at you.
Do you know|what Adrianna's gone through? What's wrong with you? Navid.
Navid.
Navid, my water just broke.
I think I'm going into labor.
Man, your stepfather|sounds like an ass.
What about your mom?|Can't you talk to her? No, she's changed.
We used to be tight, but since she married him|she's totally different.
I don't know, I tell you,|I'd rather be poor than rich and live with him.
- That sucks.
|- Yeah.