Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s01e23 Episode Script

- HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS
ON EVERYONE ♪
THERE'S A RACE
TO BE ON TOP ♪
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH THE LADIES FAIR
BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR
THE GANG
WILL REIGN SUPREME ♪
AND NO ONE
CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
THEY'LL MAKE SOME HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE AN ALIBI
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREA
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH ♪
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
- WOW! THOSE LOOK LIKE 4-STAR
GOURMET GARBAGE CANS TO ME.
MMM, NUMMY.
MAKE THAT 5-STARS.
EEEE-HA!
- WHAT'S ALL THIS STAR
TALK, HEATHCLIFF?
ARE YOU TAKIN' UP
ASTRONOMY?
- YEAH, I-IT'S GOOD
FOR THE MIND
IF YOU GOT ONE,
THAT IS.
- HEY! WATCH WHA
YOU'RE SAYING.
UH, UH, HECTOR, UH,
WHAT IS HE SAYING?
- WHAT HEATHCLIFF
SAYS IS RUDE,
BUT WHAT HE SEES IS FOOD.
- FOOD!
- FOOD!
- FOOD!
- AARRGH!
- DINNER AWAITS,
SO LET'S OPEN THE GATES.
- UNH.
UNH.
UNH.
OH!
- YEOW!
- YEOW!
- YEOW!
[ALL LAUGH]
- YEOW!
- AH! INTRUDERS.
INTRUDERS!
BRUNO, QUICK!
SOME RUFFIAN CATS
ARE STEALING OUR GARBAGE.
- THE CATS! WHERE? WHERE?
- THATAWAY.
[SNARLS]
HI YO, BRUNO!
AND AWAY!
- YIPES!
- YIPES!
- YIPES!
- ENJOY YOUR MEAL, BOYS?
- YEAH, EXCEPT WE WERE
THE MAIN COURSE.
- THAT BRUNO'S THE
MEANEST THING ON, UH,
1, 2,
3, 4 LEGS.
HE WOULD HAVE CLOBBERED
YOU, HEATHCLIFF.
- WOULD NOT.
- WOULD SO.
- WOULD NOT.
- WOULD SO.
- WOULD NOT.
- WOULD SO.
- MONGO.
- OH, I'M SORRY.
- GET OFF OF
MY BACK, JACK.
- DUH, YOU'RE
STUCK GUM, CHUM.
MAYBE I CAN
SCRAPE YOU OFF.
- YEOW!
- WHAT DO YOU WANT TO
BET I CAN HANDLE BRUNO?
- IF YOU CAN WHIP
THAT MUTT INTO LINE,
I'LL COVER YOU
WITH ROSE PETALS.
AND IF YOU DON'T,
I'LL JUST SEND
THEM TO YOU,
CARE OF THE
CAT HOSPITAL.
- DEAL.
- AHH.
- NICE KNOWING
YOU, HEATHCLIFF.
- BYE-BYE.
- BYE-BYE.
- BYE-BYE.
- GRRR.
YEOW!
- WELL, SIDNEY,
IT LOOKS LIKE
THE HOUSE IS OURS.
- OH, BOY!
I CAN HARDLY WAI
TO GET MY HANDS
ON THA
VAN CORKENDALE LOOT.
[COUGHS]
- HUH? HMM.
- HMM.
OOH.
- HUH?
- AAH!
YIKES!
- OOH!
- THAT'S HIM!
[SQUAWK]
THAT'S THE ONE!
[BARKS]
- I DON'T KNOW
MUCH ABOUT ART,
BUT I KNOW WHA
I LIKE TO STEAL.
[LAUGHS]
- HEY, PRETTY.
[LAUGHS]
[WHISTLING]
[WHISTLING]
- YOU'VE HAD IT!
- YOU'VE HAD IT!
- YIKES!
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?
GET THIS OFF OF ME!
UNH. AHH. OOH.
[BRUNO CONTINUES TO FALL]
[WHISTLING]
[LOUD THUD]
- AW, POOR LITTLE DOGGY.
- BRUNO ALWAYS
DID HAVE TROUBLE
WITH THOSE STAIRS.
- SAY, DOC.
SUPPOSE THERE'S A GUARD
DOG AT THE NEXT HOUSE
ON OUR LIST?
- GOOD POINT.
MAYBE THAT CA
AND BIRD'LL COME IN HANDY.
NOW I WONDER HOW WE CAN
SUCKER THEM ALONG?
- IT'S WORKIN', DOC.
IT'S WORKIN'.
- FISH!
- BIRDSEED!
- WE'LL LEAD THOSE 2 SUCKERS
RIGHT INTO THE NEXT HOUSE
WE'RE GOING TO ROB.
[LAUGHS]
- IT AIN'T EVEN MY BIRTHDAY.
[LAUGHS]
WELL, I GUESS
THIS IS THE END
OF THE LINE.
- I DON'T HEAR NO DOGS.
- THERE'S SOMETHING
STRANGE GOING ON HERE.
- ACHOO!
- STRANGE? SMANGE.
WHAT--HEY.
[LAUGHS]
- SHH. OK, GUYS.
AS LONG AS
THERE'S NO DOG AROUND,
WE'LL LET YOU
RAID THE FRIDGE.
- JACKPOT!
- IT'S A FUNNY
THING, ALFRED,
THIS PLACE LOOKS
AWFULLY FAMILIAR.
- THERE'S NOTHING
AWFUL ABOUT THIS.
[HAPPILY SMACKS]
[BURPS]
- EVEN THE FOOD
TASTES FAMILIAR.
- HEY, HEATHCLIFF,
LOOK AT THIS.
THESE GUYS
HAVE A CAT, TOO.
- WHAT?
THAT'S NO CAT,
THAT'S ME!
AND NOT ONLY IS THIS MY
KITCHEN, THIS IS MY HOUSE!
NO, NO.
- THEN WHAT ARE THOSE
TWO MUGS DOING HERE?
- I DON'T KNOW, BU
WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT.
[SQUAWKS]
- THEY'RE BURGLARS!
THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE.
[SQUAWKS]
SOUND THE ALARM!
CALL THE POLICE!
- THIS DUMB BIRD'S
GONNA BLOW EVERYTHING.
- LET ME OUT OF HERE!
- HERE!
HEY, YOU, COME BACK HERE!
- GLADLY.
- UNH.
GET OFF OF ME.
SIDNEY!
HELP ME OUT HERE.
I CAN'T SEE.
- GOING DOWN.
HEY, HEATHCLIFF.
- GET OFF ME!
- PSST! HEATHCLIFF.
- COME ON, SIDNEY,
LET'S GET 'EM.
YEOW!
- ALL RIGHT!
- OH.
NO!
- AT LEAST, I DIDN'T--
AAH!
- TA DA!
- WELL, WE'VE
GOT TO RETURN
ALL THE VAN CORKENDALES'
POSSESSIONS.
AND I'M SURE THEY'D LIKE
TO THANK HEATHCLIFF, TOO.
YOUR CAT'S QUITE A HERO.
- MEOW.
- HEY! ME OWW, TOO!
- UH, YOU WANTED
TO SEE US, RIFF RAFF?
- WHAT DO WE
HAVE TO DO NOW?
- YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO ANYTHING.
JUST LISTEN.
I'VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS
AND SOME BAD NEWS.
FIRST, THE BAD NEWS.
MY COUSIN LUCKY
IS COMING TO TOWN.
- AAH!
- AAH!
- AAH!
- LUCKY!
- NO!
- DON'T YOU GUYS THINK
YOU'RE OVERREACTING?
- LOOK, RIFF RAFF,
THAT CAT IS BAD LUCK
FOR HIMSELF AND ANYONE
WHO COMES NEAR HIM.
- WE HAVEN'T SEEN
HIM IN A LONG TIME.
MAYBE HE'S OVER THAT.
WHAT'D YOU SAY, MONGO?
- DUH, WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS?
- THE GOOD NEWS IS
I'VE NEVER BEEN
AFFECTED BY THE JINX.
- JINX?
- JINX!
- OHH!
[CATS SCREAM]
- OH, NO! LUCKY'S IN TOWN!
I KNEW SOMETHING
LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
IT ALWAYS DOES.
- LUCKY? AAH!
[FALLING OBJECT WHISTLES]
- AND THE WEATHERMAN SAYS
NO CHANCE OF RAIN
FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER DAY.
- UH-OH.
WOW!
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
THAT WOULD HAPPEN.
- OH, NO!
YEOW!
- WHOA!
- HEY!
- AAH!
I CAN'T BEAR TO LOOK.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I MADE IT.
WOW!
WHOA, DEAR.
WELL, I DID TELL RIFF
I WAS GONNA DROP IN.
- LUCKY!
- LUCKY!
- AHH!
- OH, NO!
- OH, THAT WAS CLOSE.
- BOY, LET'S STAY AWAY
FROM THAT LUCKY ALL DAY.
[GLUG]
- COME IN.
HEY, LUCKY,
HOW YA DOIN'?
- THE SAME AS
ALWAYS, RIFF RAFF.
OHH.
- HA HA.
THAT BAD, HUH?
CHEER UP, LUCKY.
HERE, TAKE A LOAD OFF.
- AAH.
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
WHEREVER I GO,
BAD LUCK FOLLOWS.
- I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.
- YOU GOTTA HELP
ME, RIFF RAFF.
- RIFF RAFF,
YOU'RE LATE.
DID YOU FORGET OUR DATE?
- OF COURSE NOT.
I WAS JUST TALKING
TO MY COUSIN LUCKY.
SNAP OUT OF IT.
- YEAH, WELL, LET'S GO.
- UH, LISTEN, LUCKY,
I'LL CATCH YOU LATER, OK?
- BUT, RIFF RAFF,
WHAT ABOUT HELPING ME?
- OH, YEAH.
UH, THERE.
THIS OUGHT TO DO IT.
HERE, LUCKY.
THIS GOOD LUCK CHARM
WILL FIX EVERYTHING.
- OOH. OWW.
HMM.
- AND NOW FOR SOME FUN.
- BOY, THAT RIFF RAFF
IS A LUCKY GUY
TO HAVE A GIRL LIKE CLEO.
THIS MAY BE JUS
WHAT I NEEDED.
FROM NOW ON,
I'M GOING TO HAVE
NOTHING BUT GOOD LUCK.
WHOA!
I KNEW THIS WASN'
GOING NOWHERE.
SAME OLD LUCKY.
GOOD LUCK, MY FOOT.
OWW!
I'M GOING TO THROW
THAT GOOD LUCK CHARM
IN THE RIVER.
HMM, WHAT'S THAT?
SO THIS IS WHA
I TRIPPED OVER.
IT'S A FULL CAN
OF SHRIMP.
OF COURSE I DON'
HAVE A CAN OPENER.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
HEY, MAYBE MY LUCK
IS CHANGING.
I THINK I'M GONNA KEEP THIS.
I CAN PROBABLY HAVE
ANYTHING I WANT NOW.
- AH, YOU GUYS
REALLY SCARE ME.
WHY DON'T YOU CLIMB
UP HERE AND GET ME?
OH, I FORGOT.
DOGS CAN'T CLIMB TREES.
THEY'RE NOT SMAR
ENOUGH TO FIGURE IT OUT.
OH, NO! LUCKY!
[SNARLING]
- EVERYONE WILL WAN
TO BE MY FRIEND NOW.
[WHISTLES]
- NO! AAH!
[GURGLES] LUCKY.
- WOW!
I MUST BE THE LUCKIES
CAT IN THE WORLD.
[LUCKY WHISTLES]
- OH, NO! IT'S LUCKY AGAIN!
QUICK, IN HERE.
WE'LL BE SAFE IN HERE.
- WHOA!
- AAH!
- AAH!
- AAH!
- THAT FISH
MUST BE FOR ME.
I'LL TAKE THIS,
THANK YOU.
I'M NOT JUST LUCKY,
I'M INVINCIBLE!
I CAN HAVE
ANYTHING I WANT NOW--
EVEN CLEO.
- RIFF RAFF, WE GO
TO TALK TO YOU.
- THAT COLOGNE
IS A LOT WORSE
THAN THE STUFF
YOU USUALLY WEAR.
[COUGHS]
I THINK I'LL WAIT OUTSIDE,
IN THE FRESH AIR
OF THE JUNKYARD.
- YOU GUYS LOOK LIKE YOU
FOUGHT A GARBAGE TRUCK
AND LOST.
- THIS IS YOUR
COUSIN LUCKY'S FAULT.
YOU GOTTA GET RID OF HIM.
- THAT CAT'S SOME BAD NEWS,
- GOTTA GIVE HIM
HIS WALKING SHOES.
- ALL RIGHT,
I'LL TALK TO HIM.
BUT RIGHT NOW,
I GOTTA GET SOME AIR.
- TAKE YOUR PAWS OFF OF ME.
- WHY DON'T YOU DUMP
THAT LOSER RIFF RAFF
AND BE MY GIRL?
- I THINK IT'S TIME
FOR YOU TO LEAVE, LUCKY,
BEFORE YOUR LUCK CHANGES.
- I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS
BECAUSE I'M SO LUCKY NOW.
YOU'RE AFRAID I MIGH
START GIVING YOU
A LITTLE COMPETITION.
- COMPETITION, HUH?
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
LET'S YOU AND I HAVE
A LITTLE COMPETITION.
WE'LL SEE HOW YOUR
LUCK HOLDS UP.
OK, NOW, THE FIRS
CONTEST IS TO SEE
WHO CAN THROW THIS HUBCAP
THROUGH THAT TIRE.
HERE, YOU GO FIRST.
- NOW, REMEMBER WHAT TO DO.
- NO PROBLEM.
[TRIES TO SNEEZE]
ACHOO!
- HUH? NICE SHOT.
[HECTOR SNEEZES]
- AH, EXCUSE ME.
- HECTOR.
SPITOOEY!
NOW, OUR NEXT CONTES
IS TO SEE WHO CAN LIF
THE BACK OF THE CAR
OFF THE GROUND.
I'LL GO FIRST.
- YAY!
- YAY!
- YAY!
- UH, YAY!
- YOU DIDN'T SAY HOW
WE HAD TO LIFT THE CAR
OFF THE GROUND.
THAT'S TWO FOR ME
AND NONE FOR YOU.
- YOU KNOW, LUCKY IS
LOOKING BETTER ALL THE TIME.
- OK, FOR OUR THIRD
AND FINAL CONTEST,
WE'LL SEE WHO CAN THROW A
GEARSHIFT KNOB THE FARTHEST.
I'LL GO FIRST AGAIN.
- OHH.
- OHH.
- OHH.
- THAT SHOULDN'T BE
TOO HARD TO BEAT.
WHERE'S MY
GEARSHIFT KNOB?
MY GOOD LUCK CHARM?
OH, I SEE.
YOU THINK I'M AFRAID
TO THROW THIS.
WELL, I DON'T NEED THIS
STUPID GOOD LUCK CHARM.
- WOW.
- WOW.
- WOW.
- OH.
- I GUESS THAT BEATS
YOUR PITIFUL THROW.
YEOWCH!
OOH.
AAAH!
OUCH.
OH, NO!
MAYBE THAT DUMB THING
WAS MY LUCKY CHARM.
- I GUESS HE'S
WHAT YOU'D CALL
STUPERSTITIOUS.
- OUR QUESTION FOR TODAY IS,
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR CA
IF YOU'RE GOING ON VACATION
AND CAN'T TAKE HIM WITH YOU?
YOU SHOULD ASK
YOUR VETERINARIAN
FOR THE NAME OF
A KENNEL HE'D RECOMMEND.
THEN CHECK WITH YOUR LOCAL
HEALTH DEPARTMENT TO MAKE
SURE THE FACILITY YOU'RE
CONSIDERING HAS A PERMIT.
YOU SHOULD VISIT THE KENNEL
TO MAKE SURE IT'S OK, AND BE
SURE TO GIVE YOUR CAT HIS
REGULAR DIET AT THE KENNEL.
THIS'LL MAKE I
EASIER TO ADJUST.
UH, AS YOU CAN SEE,
I'M ALL READY TO GO.
- HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS
ON EVERYONE ♪
THE GANG
WILL REIGN SUPREME ♪
AND NO ONE
CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
THEY'LL MAKE SOME HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE AN ALIBI
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREA
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU