Justice League Action (2016) s01e23 Episode Script
Double Cross
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) PENGUIN: That's right, I set up the heist but Two-Face took the cash.
A half million.
No one makes a patsy out of Penguin! Unless they like the view from a pair of cement boots.
I want my cash back.
Which means you gotta bring me Two-Face alive.
Though he doesn't have to be in the best of shape.
It could be tricky.
Batman's got him with the police.
I hope you're up to the job, Floyd.
Don't worry.
I'll get you Two-Face.
And the name's Deadshot.
(TWO-FACE GRUNTING) Do you really have to do that? Quiet.
It's just really annoying when you Quiet! I'm trying to get us out of these high-tech bracelets.
Try a hairpin.
You got a hairpin? Why would I have a hairpin? Well, then, quiet! Do it.
(GRUNTS) Would you please hold still! Just a few more scars and You think this guy's gonna fool Deadshot? He'd better.
I've wanted that sharpshooter behind bars for years.
Voila! Eh? Uh-huh? It's sloppy.
Two-Face wears his pocket square on the left, not the right.
His cufflinks are silver, not gold.
And you have his scarred and normal sides reversed.
Gee, Bats, I only learned to do colors a week ago.
Just a switcheroo and I'm ready for my close-up, Mr.
Spielberg.
Ooh, missed a spot.
Here.
And no funny stuff.
Moi? Awesome! What about me? You stay with him.
He should have said, "them.
" What do you care, you pasty-faced pretty boy? What do I care? I can't be confused with you.
You're a soulless criminal and professional thief.
Whereas I'm a lawyer.
I guess we got more in common than I thought.
Geez.
Imagine being stuck in the same brainpan with a little dum-dum-dum-dum-dum, like that dude.
Hmm.
PLASTIC MAN: Let me just say what a privilege it is working with you, sir.
If my poor, gray-haired momma back in Ashtabula could see me now Just stay in character.
What makes you think Deadshot's gonna try anything tonight? I put word on the street that I was driving Two-Face to Arkham.
Trust me.
He's out there somewhere.
(BEEPING) Boom.
(TIRES SCREECHING) Hold on.
Just go on without me.
(GRUNTING) He wants you alive.
He's got a funny way of showing it.
NARRATOR: They have a remarkably strong exoskeleton, which is characterized (SIGHS) Next time, can we pick a safe house with cable? We've been glued to that documentary about the societal hierarchy of the red ant.
- It's compelling.
- (GROANS) Nobody told me being a hero would be so boring.
Why not get a jump on your chemistry homework? I, uh, already did it, yeah, totally done, finito.
Ronald Raymond, you can't lie to me.
We share the same brain.
(SIGHS) It's like having the NSA for a roommate.
- I heard that.
- I know you heard that! HARVEY DENT: Listen to me, Harvey.
Maybe you can make a deal.
All you have to do is give up the money.
Forget it! And don't call me Harvey.
But I'm your good side.
I wouldn't steer you wrong.
(SCOFFS) You'd sell me to Sing Sing for a song.
Hey, slick.
Could you open a window? Your head's making it all smoky in here.
Yeah, no problem.
Don't listen to him.
Quiet! Shut your trap.
He can't be trusted.
One more word out of you, and I'll turn your face into a bowl of macaroni! (CHUCKLES) We're done talking.
Go ahead.
You know, you guys could seriously use a therapist.
Probably two.
(STRAINING) What am I doing? Open says me.
There we go.
Mmm-hmm.
(GROANS) You should have listened to the ambulance chaser.
(CHUCKLES) DEADSHOT: Batman.
I was hoping I'd run into you.
Getting slow, old man.
(GRUNTS) (TASER PULSING) (GRUNTS) (GASPS) It's just a tranquilizer dart, Two-Face.
It'll keep you nice and calm until we get to Penguin.
Uh, thanks.
But I just had a nap.
(MOCK GROANING) Oh! My chest! Hey, there's a hole in it.
Somebody get me to the hospital! (EXCLAIMS) A decoy! (GRUNTING) - (BEEPING) - Hmm? (EXCLAIMS) (SHRIEKS) You should've taken the dart.
I might've gotten him.
But I hate needles.
And you would've been on your own.
Exactly.
Batman to Firestorm.
We've lost Deadshot.
What's your situation? Good, good, we're good over here.
You know what, great actually.
You know, if I was gonna give it a number, I would say 100%.
BATMAN: You lost Two-Face, didn't you? Oh, yeah, big time.
Totally whiffed it.
Okay, lots to do over here.
Talk to you later, Batcakes.
(SIRENS WAILING) You had to steal a police car? That's the idea, Harvard.
I'm taking us to get our money.
No one stops a cop.
(LAUGHING) (SIREN WAILING) (PEOPLE CLAMORING) (GASPING) Take a good look, mouthpiece.
This is the only case worth winning.
- I feel so ashamed.
- (DART WHOOSHES) (GRUNTS) And strangely sleepy (GROANS) Nighty night, freak.
(GRUNTS) End of the line, Deadshot.
I got this! Plastic Man, wait! (BURPS) Don't you just hate that bloated feeling? (YELLING) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) The prom is on! Whoo! You see what I did there? It's a play on my catchphrase! 'Cause you The corsages.
Cool off, hotshot.
(ELECTRICITY BUZZING) (FIRESTORM GROANS) The heat is off.
Looks like it's my lucky day, Batman.
Not only do I fulfill my contract, but I defeat the Justice League as well.
Best of all, I finally get rid of you.
Bang! (LAUGHS) How's that for commitment to the role, Batman? Pretty good, huh? Huh? (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) I have to admit, you were fairly effective tonight.
So, we can work together again? If I need a shape-changer and the Martian's busy.
(BATARANG FIRES) Do you hear that? Me and Batman, we're like this I gotta ask, Plas.
When you change, your clothes change, too, so, what is it? Some unstable atoms? What's what? Your, uh, your uniform.
What uniform? So, you're saying you're not wearing any (SCREAMS) I gotta go! I gotta go! Oh, my eyes.
My eyes.
A half million.
No one makes a patsy out of Penguin! Unless they like the view from a pair of cement boots.
I want my cash back.
Which means you gotta bring me Two-Face alive.
Though he doesn't have to be in the best of shape.
It could be tricky.
Batman's got him with the police.
I hope you're up to the job, Floyd.
Don't worry.
I'll get you Two-Face.
And the name's Deadshot.
(TWO-FACE GRUNTING) Do you really have to do that? Quiet.
It's just really annoying when you Quiet! I'm trying to get us out of these high-tech bracelets.
Try a hairpin.
You got a hairpin? Why would I have a hairpin? Well, then, quiet! Do it.
(GRUNTS) Would you please hold still! Just a few more scars and You think this guy's gonna fool Deadshot? He'd better.
I've wanted that sharpshooter behind bars for years.
Voila! Eh? Uh-huh? It's sloppy.
Two-Face wears his pocket square on the left, not the right.
His cufflinks are silver, not gold.
And you have his scarred and normal sides reversed.
Gee, Bats, I only learned to do colors a week ago.
Just a switcheroo and I'm ready for my close-up, Mr.
Spielberg.
Ooh, missed a spot.
Here.
And no funny stuff.
Moi? Awesome! What about me? You stay with him.
He should have said, "them.
" What do you care, you pasty-faced pretty boy? What do I care? I can't be confused with you.
You're a soulless criminal and professional thief.
Whereas I'm a lawyer.
I guess we got more in common than I thought.
Geez.
Imagine being stuck in the same brainpan with a little dum-dum-dum-dum-dum, like that dude.
Hmm.
PLASTIC MAN: Let me just say what a privilege it is working with you, sir.
If my poor, gray-haired momma back in Ashtabula could see me now Just stay in character.
What makes you think Deadshot's gonna try anything tonight? I put word on the street that I was driving Two-Face to Arkham.
Trust me.
He's out there somewhere.
(BEEPING) Boom.
(TIRES SCREECHING) Hold on.
Just go on without me.
(GRUNTING) He wants you alive.
He's got a funny way of showing it.
NARRATOR: They have a remarkably strong exoskeleton, which is characterized (SIGHS) Next time, can we pick a safe house with cable? We've been glued to that documentary about the societal hierarchy of the red ant.
- It's compelling.
- (GROANS) Nobody told me being a hero would be so boring.
Why not get a jump on your chemistry homework? I, uh, already did it, yeah, totally done, finito.
Ronald Raymond, you can't lie to me.
We share the same brain.
(SIGHS) It's like having the NSA for a roommate.
- I heard that.
- I know you heard that! HARVEY DENT: Listen to me, Harvey.
Maybe you can make a deal.
All you have to do is give up the money.
Forget it! And don't call me Harvey.
But I'm your good side.
I wouldn't steer you wrong.
(SCOFFS) You'd sell me to Sing Sing for a song.
Hey, slick.
Could you open a window? Your head's making it all smoky in here.
Yeah, no problem.
Don't listen to him.
Quiet! Shut your trap.
He can't be trusted.
One more word out of you, and I'll turn your face into a bowl of macaroni! (CHUCKLES) We're done talking.
Go ahead.
You know, you guys could seriously use a therapist.
Probably two.
(STRAINING) What am I doing? Open says me.
There we go.
Mmm-hmm.
(GROANS) You should have listened to the ambulance chaser.
(CHUCKLES) DEADSHOT: Batman.
I was hoping I'd run into you.
Getting slow, old man.
(GRUNTS) (TASER PULSING) (GRUNTS) (GASPS) It's just a tranquilizer dart, Two-Face.
It'll keep you nice and calm until we get to Penguin.
Uh, thanks.
But I just had a nap.
(MOCK GROANING) Oh! My chest! Hey, there's a hole in it.
Somebody get me to the hospital! (EXCLAIMS) A decoy! (GRUNTING) - (BEEPING) - Hmm? (EXCLAIMS) (SHRIEKS) You should've taken the dart.
I might've gotten him.
But I hate needles.
And you would've been on your own.
Exactly.
Batman to Firestorm.
We've lost Deadshot.
What's your situation? Good, good, we're good over here.
You know what, great actually.
You know, if I was gonna give it a number, I would say 100%.
BATMAN: You lost Two-Face, didn't you? Oh, yeah, big time.
Totally whiffed it.
Okay, lots to do over here.
Talk to you later, Batcakes.
(SIRENS WAILING) You had to steal a police car? That's the idea, Harvard.
I'm taking us to get our money.
No one stops a cop.
(LAUGHING) (SIREN WAILING) (PEOPLE CLAMORING) (GASPING) Take a good look, mouthpiece.
This is the only case worth winning.
- I feel so ashamed.
- (DART WHOOSHES) (GRUNTS) And strangely sleepy (GROANS) Nighty night, freak.
(GRUNTS) End of the line, Deadshot.
I got this! Plastic Man, wait! (BURPS) Don't you just hate that bloated feeling? (YELLING) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) The prom is on! Whoo! You see what I did there? It's a play on my catchphrase! 'Cause you The corsages.
Cool off, hotshot.
(ELECTRICITY BUZZING) (FIRESTORM GROANS) The heat is off.
Looks like it's my lucky day, Batman.
Not only do I fulfill my contract, but I defeat the Justice League as well.
Best of all, I finally get rid of you.
Bang! (LAUGHS) How's that for commitment to the role, Batman? Pretty good, huh? Huh? (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) I have to admit, you were fairly effective tonight.
So, we can work together again? If I need a shape-changer and the Martian's busy.
(BATARANG FIRES) Do you hear that? Me and Batman, we're like this I gotta ask, Plas.
When you change, your clothes change, too, so, what is it? Some unstable atoms? What's what? Your, uh, your uniform.
What uniform? So, you're saying you're not wearing any (SCREAMS) I gotta go! I gotta go! Oh, my eyes.
My eyes.