Ranma 12 s01e23 Episode Script
Episode 23
Ranma of the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts.
Lemme go! Akane of the Tendo Dojo.
Wait! What th'--? Their fathers decided they should be engaged.
Don't decide for me! It's my life! There's just this one thing complicating Ranma's life.
What's that for? When Ranma is doused with cold water, HE becomes a SHE.
Ranma Saotome, prepare to die! Ranma of the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts.
Methinks you will prove all-too-easy a foe.
Sasuke? Your fine technique does not disappoint, Master Kuno.
That empty threat, Ranma Saotome, is no match for you.
Of course not.
I, Tatewaki Kuno, of the Kuno School of Kendo shall defeat Ranma Saotome.
When the nuisance is removed I shall date with both Akane and the pigtailed girl.
Sasuke! En garde! Yessir! Coming, sir! I knew you would not make a suitable opponent.
S-Sorry.
Ranma! You're slow! You rotten old man! You-- I Aw, man! You tricked me! Look at what you stuck me with! Quit your whining! You're heir to the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts! This training should be nothing! Hey! Wait up! Easy for you to say, you lousy no-good Hello, International Delivery Service.
Coming! Thank you very much! Who's that for? It's for Ranma! Oh my! It's from Shampoo, in China! That female wrecking ball? Nihao! Our house has truly been peaceful since she left.
- What's this? - It's moving! How cute! Here, kitty kitty! Let me hold it, too! What could be wrong with the kitten? I'd expect any present from Shampoo to hate Akane.
What'd I do to you!? Stupid old man--! Ranma and his father are home! Forget it! I ain't never trainin' like that again.
Geez! You call yourself a father! Ranma, what're you doing? Ailurophobia? Pathetic! Gutless! Ranma, are you a man? Shaddup! This is all your fault! Ranma, alternative life-styles aren't my thing.
He's so wretched.
Then Ranma does have a weakness.
This tragedy started with Cat-Fu training.
Cat-Fu!? Freestyle Cat-Fist Fighting.
"Cat-Fu" for short.
Wrap the trainee's body in fish sausage, irresistible to cats.
Then throw 'em into a pit full of hungry critters! No! Don't remind me! It happened in the spring of Ranma's sixth year.
Here is the ancient wisdom I followed.
Let me see.
I-It's This lost tome was written several hundred years ago.
Methods of Cat-Fu training "Wrap the trainee in fish sausage.
" "Throw him into a pit full of hungry cats.
" However, there is a frighteningly devious trap in the training.
Turn the page, Tendo, and see for yourself.
"Note: This training method is too stupid for real life.
" It sure fooled me! You fool! You rotten old man! It's your fault! It's your fault! - You jerk! - Look! Stop it! Quit it! No, please! Here! Here! Here! Pathetic! What's the problem? It's just one little weakness.
Look at the Ranma-sympathizer.
That's not true! Look! Look! Please, stop that! Mr.
Saotome.
All we have to do is get Ranma used to cats.
Come in, kitties.
- Sasuke? - Sir! Feel free to enter.
Sir! Do it the normal way! Sorry 'bout that! Well, what is it? Actually, Master Kuno I, Sasuke, have found Ranma Saotome's greatest weakness! Attack on this front, and victory is assured! And that weak point is-- Imbecile! You dare mock me!? Tatewaki Kuno is no small man, to secretly strike a man's weakness! Sorry! - And? - Sir? - And his weak point is? - But If I attack his weakness fairly, there is no dishonor! Tell me.
Tell me! TELL ME EVERYTHI NG! I-It's like this What!? What!? What's this? Save me, Ranma! It's me, Akane! I've been kidnapped by bad men! Come to the gymnasium, right now! Hey! You're Akane, right? It's only a practical joke.
just ignore it! - But - This is ridiculous! See, nobody's here.
Here I am! I'm so happy, Ranma! You came to rescue me! It's me, Akane! Save me! And what on Earth is that? Hey, you! What's the meaning of this? Save me, Ranma! I, Akane, am going to die! Save me, Ranma! I, Akane, am going to die! Save me, Ranma! I, Akane, am going-- Die already! Who the heck're you? A 15th-generation guardian of the House of Kuno! Sasuke Sarugakure! I've trapped you now, Ranma! Now, look, you It's too late for tears! Huh? Why would Miss Akane drop down? You okay? What was that for? That's strange.
So who were you tryin' to drop in there? I just Hey, you okay? Now, what were you tryin' to do? I just wanted to give you this! Fish sausage!? It can't be Tell me, Saotome, how do you like Cat Hell? So scared cat's got your tongue? You-big-scare-dy-cat!! Id- iot! You think I'm scared of somethin' like this!? You're not? You sure?? Of course not! Doesn't it scare you a little? Doesn't it scare you just this much? You're sure about that? I AIN'T SCARED! Hey! No need to shout! C-C'mon, l-let's get out of here, A-Akane.
It's your fault for that weird get-up! S-Sorry.
Take that dress off right now! This is no place to What's so funny? This is what I get for coming along? I feel like a fool for even being here! - M-Miss Akane, not that way! - Now what!? I Umm I just You just WHAT!? You're a man, right? Speak up! Mr.
Saotome? Is there no way to cure Ranma's fear of cats? I put all my efforts into it, Kasumi.
I wrapped him in tiny sardines and threw him to the cats.
Another time I wrapped him in medium sardines.
One other time, I tried it with fish cakes.
What terrible trials a father and son must suffer! That must have been awful.
Have some sweet bean jelly.
And And that training brought yet another frightening tragedy! Why'd you bring a TIGER in here? I-I thought it might scare Ranma.
It'd scare ANYBODY! S-Stop that! D-Don't dig your c-claws in me! M-My name is R-Ryanma Sh-Shaotome! And when consumed with his terror of cats Consumed with his terror He meows.
Then there is nothing anyone can do! How dreadful! Is something wrong, Mr.
Saotome? It's a bad omen.
It could mean that Ranma Days of long ago; Fallen leaves tell many tales of sad memories.
How forlorn.
It suits me perfectly.
What was that? It broke my mood! Is this the legendary Cat-Fu? It is all well-planned by Sasuke! I will crush the frightened Ranma.
On my right, the vivacious Akane Tendo! On my left, the charming pigtailed girl! The double date d'amour! What's going on? I-It's a pillar of cats! Akane Tendo! I love you! Isn't this a little sudden? You impure fool! Akane Tendo! I love you! What is this? Ranma! Have you gone mad? You gluttonous buffoon! Ranma! Ranma! - Hey, what's that? - Look at that! Naoto, isn't he in your class? Don't ask! Ranma! Hey, what are you doing up there? What's happened to you? Talk to me, Ranma! Words can't reach Ranma now.
Mr.
Saotome! Dad! What's going on? My premonition is fulfilled.
What do you mean, "words can't reach him"? When Ranma is consumed by his terror of cats to flee his terror, he himself becomes a cat! An old neighbor-lady is the only one who could ever calm him.
Her warmth could bring the boy peace of mind.
You have to call that old lady! She has already passed on.
Then Of course I will take responsibility for my only son.
I'll swallow my pride.
Fatherly love is deeper than the sea! Here's a pussy-willow.
Here kitty, kitty, kitty.
He's only adding fuel to the fire! Catnip? Are you insensitive to fatherly love? He's getting worse.
Dad, what'll we do!? Leave everything to me.
Cats love catnip.
With this, we needn't worry about Cat-Fu.
How are you going to get it to Ranma? Well, that's a problem This is serious! You're no help at all! Let me borrow this.
Look out, Ranma! I'm going to shoot! She did it! No! You did it, Akane! That's my little girl! I don't know what I did! You won't get away with this, Ranma! Master Kuno, calm yourself!.
You'll aggravate your injury! Don't wanna! Don't wanna-wanna! Gonna get him! Gonna get him, get him! That's great, Akane! That's why he's your fiance.
It's nothing like that! Look who's shy.
How long are you going to sit there? Get off already! It's embarrassing! No way! I don't believe it! You DUMMY! A cat? That cat was the present from Shampoo, in China.
What am I doin' here? I remember to the point I was surrounded by cats Ranma, you dummy Dummy.
Dummy! Ranma, you dummy
Lemme go! Akane of the Tendo Dojo.
Wait! What th'--? Their fathers decided they should be engaged.
Don't decide for me! It's my life! There's just this one thing complicating Ranma's life.
What's that for? When Ranma is doused with cold water, HE becomes a SHE.
Ranma Saotome, prepare to die! Ranma of the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts.
Methinks you will prove all-too-easy a foe.
Sasuke? Your fine technique does not disappoint, Master Kuno.
That empty threat, Ranma Saotome, is no match for you.
Of course not.
I, Tatewaki Kuno, of the Kuno School of Kendo shall defeat Ranma Saotome.
When the nuisance is removed I shall date with both Akane and the pigtailed girl.
Sasuke! En garde! Yessir! Coming, sir! I knew you would not make a suitable opponent.
S-Sorry.
Ranma! You're slow! You rotten old man! You-- I Aw, man! You tricked me! Look at what you stuck me with! Quit your whining! You're heir to the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts! This training should be nothing! Hey! Wait up! Easy for you to say, you lousy no-good Hello, International Delivery Service.
Coming! Thank you very much! Who's that for? It's for Ranma! Oh my! It's from Shampoo, in China! That female wrecking ball? Nihao! Our house has truly been peaceful since she left.
- What's this? - It's moving! How cute! Here, kitty kitty! Let me hold it, too! What could be wrong with the kitten? I'd expect any present from Shampoo to hate Akane.
What'd I do to you!? Stupid old man--! Ranma and his father are home! Forget it! I ain't never trainin' like that again.
Geez! You call yourself a father! Ranma, what're you doing? Ailurophobia? Pathetic! Gutless! Ranma, are you a man? Shaddup! This is all your fault! Ranma, alternative life-styles aren't my thing.
He's so wretched.
Then Ranma does have a weakness.
This tragedy started with Cat-Fu training.
Cat-Fu!? Freestyle Cat-Fist Fighting.
"Cat-Fu" for short.
Wrap the trainee's body in fish sausage, irresistible to cats.
Then throw 'em into a pit full of hungry critters! No! Don't remind me! It happened in the spring of Ranma's sixth year.
Here is the ancient wisdom I followed.
Let me see.
I-It's This lost tome was written several hundred years ago.
Methods of Cat-Fu training "Wrap the trainee in fish sausage.
" "Throw him into a pit full of hungry cats.
" However, there is a frighteningly devious trap in the training.
Turn the page, Tendo, and see for yourself.
"Note: This training method is too stupid for real life.
" It sure fooled me! You fool! You rotten old man! It's your fault! It's your fault! - You jerk! - Look! Stop it! Quit it! No, please! Here! Here! Here! Pathetic! What's the problem? It's just one little weakness.
Look at the Ranma-sympathizer.
That's not true! Look! Look! Please, stop that! Mr.
Saotome.
All we have to do is get Ranma used to cats.
Come in, kitties.
- Sasuke? - Sir! Feel free to enter.
Sir! Do it the normal way! Sorry 'bout that! Well, what is it? Actually, Master Kuno I, Sasuke, have found Ranma Saotome's greatest weakness! Attack on this front, and victory is assured! And that weak point is-- Imbecile! You dare mock me!? Tatewaki Kuno is no small man, to secretly strike a man's weakness! Sorry! - And? - Sir? - And his weak point is? - But If I attack his weakness fairly, there is no dishonor! Tell me.
Tell me! TELL ME EVERYTHI NG! I-It's like this What!? What!? What's this? Save me, Ranma! It's me, Akane! I've been kidnapped by bad men! Come to the gymnasium, right now! Hey! You're Akane, right? It's only a practical joke.
just ignore it! - But - This is ridiculous! See, nobody's here.
Here I am! I'm so happy, Ranma! You came to rescue me! It's me, Akane! Save me! And what on Earth is that? Hey, you! What's the meaning of this? Save me, Ranma! I, Akane, am going to die! Save me, Ranma! I, Akane, am going to die! Save me, Ranma! I, Akane, am going-- Die already! Who the heck're you? A 15th-generation guardian of the House of Kuno! Sasuke Sarugakure! I've trapped you now, Ranma! Now, look, you It's too late for tears! Huh? Why would Miss Akane drop down? You okay? What was that for? That's strange.
So who were you tryin' to drop in there? I just Hey, you okay? Now, what were you tryin' to do? I just wanted to give you this! Fish sausage!? It can't be Tell me, Saotome, how do you like Cat Hell? So scared cat's got your tongue? You-big-scare-dy-cat!! Id- iot! You think I'm scared of somethin' like this!? You're not? You sure?? Of course not! Doesn't it scare you a little? Doesn't it scare you just this much? You're sure about that? I AIN'T SCARED! Hey! No need to shout! C-C'mon, l-let's get out of here, A-Akane.
It's your fault for that weird get-up! S-Sorry.
Take that dress off right now! This is no place to What's so funny? This is what I get for coming along? I feel like a fool for even being here! - M-Miss Akane, not that way! - Now what!? I Umm I just You just WHAT!? You're a man, right? Speak up! Mr.
Saotome? Is there no way to cure Ranma's fear of cats? I put all my efforts into it, Kasumi.
I wrapped him in tiny sardines and threw him to the cats.
Another time I wrapped him in medium sardines.
One other time, I tried it with fish cakes.
What terrible trials a father and son must suffer! That must have been awful.
Have some sweet bean jelly.
And And that training brought yet another frightening tragedy! Why'd you bring a TIGER in here? I-I thought it might scare Ranma.
It'd scare ANYBODY! S-Stop that! D-Don't dig your c-claws in me! M-My name is R-Ryanma Sh-Shaotome! And when consumed with his terror of cats Consumed with his terror He meows.
Then there is nothing anyone can do! How dreadful! Is something wrong, Mr.
Saotome? It's a bad omen.
It could mean that Ranma Days of long ago; Fallen leaves tell many tales of sad memories.
How forlorn.
It suits me perfectly.
What was that? It broke my mood! Is this the legendary Cat-Fu? It is all well-planned by Sasuke! I will crush the frightened Ranma.
On my right, the vivacious Akane Tendo! On my left, the charming pigtailed girl! The double date d'amour! What's going on? I-It's a pillar of cats! Akane Tendo! I love you! Isn't this a little sudden? You impure fool! Akane Tendo! I love you! What is this? Ranma! Have you gone mad? You gluttonous buffoon! Ranma! Ranma! - Hey, what's that? - Look at that! Naoto, isn't he in your class? Don't ask! Ranma! Hey, what are you doing up there? What's happened to you? Talk to me, Ranma! Words can't reach Ranma now.
Mr.
Saotome! Dad! What's going on? My premonition is fulfilled.
What do you mean, "words can't reach him"? When Ranma is consumed by his terror of cats to flee his terror, he himself becomes a cat! An old neighbor-lady is the only one who could ever calm him.
Her warmth could bring the boy peace of mind.
You have to call that old lady! She has already passed on.
Then Of course I will take responsibility for my only son.
I'll swallow my pride.
Fatherly love is deeper than the sea! Here's a pussy-willow.
Here kitty, kitty, kitty.
He's only adding fuel to the fire! Catnip? Are you insensitive to fatherly love? He's getting worse.
Dad, what'll we do!? Leave everything to me.
Cats love catnip.
With this, we needn't worry about Cat-Fu.
How are you going to get it to Ranma? Well, that's a problem This is serious! You're no help at all! Let me borrow this.
Look out, Ranma! I'm going to shoot! She did it! No! You did it, Akane! That's my little girl! I don't know what I did! You won't get away with this, Ranma! Master Kuno, calm yourself!.
You'll aggravate your injury! Don't wanna! Don't wanna-wanna! Gonna get him! Gonna get him, get him! That's great, Akane! That's why he's your fiance.
It's nothing like that! Look who's shy.
How long are you going to sit there? Get off already! It's embarrassing! No way! I don't believe it! You DUMMY! A cat? That cat was the present from Shampoo, in China.
What am I doin' here? I remember to the point I was surrounded by cats Ranma, you dummy Dummy.
Dummy! Ranma, you dummy