The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s01e23 Episode Script

1
Humans are not born equal.
Do you intend to transfer schools?
You just got accepted
to your father's alma mater.
I will not repeat myself.
I apologize.
I will take care of it right away.
I was born a winner.
Talent? Looks? Those mean nothing.
I was born with something
much more powerful.
That is
Money.
-A transfer student is coming today!
-Really?
He is the son of the Saiko Group.
Good grief. Another transfer student?
Saiko Group
is a massive corporation only rivaled
by the Nakagawa Group.
So he is one of those rich characters
in comics.
Why is some super rich kid coming here?
Everyone sit down.
I will introduce the transfer student.
This is Metori Saiko.
He is obviously rich!
I am Metori Saiko.
Let me warn you. I have no intention
of mingling with you peons.
Do not speak to me.
-Take a seat there.
-No.
You, peon with weird lips,
sit somewhere else.
"Peon with weird lips"?
Do you think you're better than me
because you're rich?
I don't think I'm better.
I am actually better.
-Quit mocking me!
-Stop, Takahashi!
Calm down.
Hey! Takahashi?
Teacher! I'll switch seats.
-What did you get?
-Did he buy you off?
Of course not.
-I talked it out with Mr. Saiko.
-Did you say mister? What happened?
A troublesome one has appeared.
Really?
As long as he leaves me alone,
I welcome him.
What are you doing?
It's just a habit.
A delinquent habit?
Out of the way, peon with a middle part.
Why did you transfer to our school?
I usually wouldn't step foot
in a filthy school like this one
without any good reason.
You are the reason, Kokomi Teruhashi.
I saw you on the street before
and did some research.
I like you. Be my girl.
-What?
-What?
Saiko group's heir fell for Kokomi
and transferred schools!
-She'll be rich!
-There are already rumors.
I can't stand the new student
acting like a big shot.
I'll strangle him.
Calm down, Aren.
He lives in a different world from us.
He lives in the fictional world of comics.
He even has a butler and bodyguards.
Just leave him alone.
I recognize one of them.
He may live in a different world,
but he's here now. I'll strangle him.
But he has bodyguards.
I'll strangle the bodyguards too.
But what if his parents appear?
I'll have to strangle them too.
That's too much strangling.
What are you peons talking about?
Saiko!
I have no interest in your poor stories.
Have you seen Kokomi?
Kokomi?
Let me tell you one thing.
Teruhashi has a huge fan base.
-They will kill you.
-Mr. Saiko!
Excuse us, Mr. Saiko.
We could not find Teruhashi.
She may be hiding in the girls' room.
What are you doing?
Did you all sell your souls?
Yes.
I easily bought them off.
I can control anybody in this world
using my money.
Soon enough, Kokomi will fall for me
and be mine.
How dare you!
She isn't like that!
Bring the teacher!
What? That company belongs to Saiko too?
He belongs to one of the richest families
in the world.
That is who she is.
Metori Saiko? He has a proper status.
My only worry is that my married
name will be Kokomi Saiko.
It'll be tough to pronounce it
with all those "ko"s in it.
No! What am I thinking?
It's barely possible
to win a jackpot like this!
There you are.
Saiko! This is the girls' restroom.
Okay. I will make this the boys' restroom.
-Get to work.
-Yes, sir.
So, what do you say, Kokomi?
You've always wanted this
to happen, right?
I will save you from your life of poverty.
What is with this guy?
There is no proper man for you
at this filthy school.
You jerk!
Aren!
Are you okay?
This ordinary-looking bodyguard
is actually quite strong.
I won't let you touch me
or the young master.
It looks like I already touched you.
Come here!
If this escalates,
I am likely to get dragged into it.
More importantly,
this is not that kind of comic.
Take this!
He won!
-Awesome!
-Where did that rich boy go?
No!
Come to me.
Become the wife of Metori Saiko,
the heir to Saiko Group
-I refuse.
-What did you say?
Until recently, I would have accepted
his offer without any hesitation.
But now I cannot forgive anyone
who mocks my friends and him.
I am already in love.
I love Saiki!
Saiki?
I didn't make it in time.
I love Saiki!
Saiki?
Why did Saiki have to appear now?
Did he hear what I said? Did he or not?
This is the girls' restroom.
Why is Saiki here?
What? It suddenly became
the boys' restroom.
I need to come up with an excuse.
Don't misunderstand!
I just said that to turn him down.
Please believe me! Or just sleep!
He's sleeping!
That means that he didn't hear me! Great!
Of course I heard you.
As I explained earlier,
I can't date you. Sorry.
Can I wake up?
You are choosing this sullen peon over me?
Good. He's still sleeping.
Yes.
So your brain is still
that of a poor farm girl.
Whatever. There are plenty of other women.
Good. It wasn't that hard
to make him back down.
Good grief.
I hope he doesn't take this out on me.
Welcome home.
Ku, Dad needs to tell you
something important.
What? Why do you look so serious?
I have been transferred.
Transferred? Where?
-Siberia.
-What are you saying?
You work at a publishing company.
Why Siberia?
Shonen Cognac is planning
to expand into the overseas market.
The company decided to open
an editor's office in Siberia.
Why is that the first place?
I was assigned as
the editor-in-chief there.
I will be the only editor.
They are just bullying you.
-We are going to have to move to Siberia.
-You will come, right?
Don't be ridiculous. What about school?
You can go to school there!
There are probably private schools
in Siberia.
-Transfer to Siberia High School!
-Right.
I don't like Siberia High School.
Next, popular actor
-Touru Mugami got caught dating.
-What?
-The woman is 42 years older.
-You've got it wrong!
This is Shuei Sports!
Can you tell us about your son's romance?
He must have done this.
I did as you instructed.
Now you peons know
what happens when you oppose me.
Master, you may get paper cuts.
Please don't bathe in cash.
Kuboyasu got arrested?
He was charged with
assaulting Saiko's bodyguard.
-The bodyguard swung the first punch.
-That's awful.
Saiko is putting pressure on us too.
My father was suddenly transferred.
-I may need to move to Siberia.
-We might end up in the same class again.
Yesterday, the electricity and water
in my house were suddenly shut off.
You didn't pay your bill.
In the Shonen Jump I bought yesterday,
there was snot on three pages.
That has nothing to do with this.
I heard that the peon
with a middle part was arrested.
Saiko!
I heard sullen peon little peon
are moving to Siberia.
Saiki, you're going to Siberia High too?
Which school club do you want to join?
You, peon with a funny chin,
did you enjoy your comic yesterday?
You planted the snot?
Super poor girl, did you enjoy
the laxative bread
left in front of your house?
It was yummy!
A really nice person must have
left it there for me.
That one didn't work.
You are no match for me.
If you continue to rebel,
the people around you
will continue to suffer.
You'd better think twice.
Forget about him.
Right! We can live with a little snot
or moving to Siberia.
I don't think those are the same,
but I agree.
It's time to show him
who he is no match for.
Kokomi has been backed into a corner.
Please refrain from sitting on cash.
Master, you have guests.
Are they here to apologize?
Not exactly.
Do you understand where you are?
That was the first time
I have seen Teruhashi that sad.
We must protect her! Go!
What is this?
-Drive them away!
-Yes, sir!
How dare they?
I'll call for backup. What?
Who are you?
You caused me a lot of trouble.
I will repay you.
Wait! Calm down!
I will give you that money!
Money?
You can give each of them one million yen.
My hand slipped.
What are you doing?
If you can control them with money
as you insisted,
-this will stop them.
-What?
Don't get distracted!
Now, everyone! This is our chance!
What is going on?
There are some things money cannot buy.
You are no match for Teruhashi.
If you wanted to buy me off,
you should have offered me a
mountain of coffee jelly, not money.
Kokomi Teruhashi.
Oh, no.
PURGED
Where is Kusuo?
He went out.
I see.
Then we are all alone.
What? Quit that.
He is bringing my parents.
Hello. Long time no see.
Any last words?
I didn't know you were coming here.
-Didn't I tell you?
-No.
Sorry for showing up suddenly.
I was opposed to this.
Your mother forced me.
My grandfather runs hot and cold.
I want to return home and sleep.
This is my daughter and grandson's home!
-It smells nice!
-He is really soft on the inside.
But he never shows that side.
He is completely hot-and-cold.
You came all the way here
Go home and sleep!
Sorry!
-And never wake up again!
-He is always cold to my father.
This is great.
There was somewhere I wanted to visit.
I can show you around Sugamo or Asakusa.
-No. Shibuya and Harajuku.
-You'll stick out.
Go by yourself.
Really? What do you really think?
I want to walk around with my grandson!
Shibuya is totally awesome!
I'm so excited!
Let's check out McDonald's
on the way back.
You're very excited.
I will go park now.
Thanks for dropping us off.
We'll call when we're ready to leave.
I wouldn't like to have McDonald's
Look after the house.
Now that disruptive pest is gone!
I'm so happy! I feel 40 years younger!
Wasn't that mean?
I feel bad for him.
Let's go shopping without your father.
Do whatever you want.
No! Wait for me!
Sorry! I was joking!
Don't do whatever you want!
Right. Kusuo would get me, right?
He can read my mind, right?
I hear you.
I hear you, but sorry. You're a pain.
Look!
-He looks so down.
-They really left.
I am alone in this strange town.
What's wrong? Are you lost, old man?
-He's an assassin!
-Are you hurt?
Is he really going to mug an old man?
You know nothing of the war, young man.
I'll show you how to treat your elders!
What is wrong with you?
I have a bad feeling.
What's wrong?
Something bad might be
happening to Grandfather.
It might just be my imagination.
Let's just leave it at that.
Sorry!
Well? Is it too plain?
-Seriously?
-She's so cool!
-Amazing!
-I want a picture!
I am worried about Grandfather. Let's go.
Nendo. Why are you here?
You should be hanging out
in a vacant lot with pipes.
Good grief. I will have to intervene.
You are pretty interesting for an old man.
You are quite upright for a young man.
Why did they make up?
-Hey, hey!
-Hoy, hoy!
That's odd. What is that?
-Again!
-Hey!
What is that?
I don't know what happened,
but this seems even more troublesome.
You fought with your grandson?
That is bad.
He is 17 years old, and he's so cute.
His eyes are so big.
His skin is so smooth and clear.
He's the apple of my eye. I wish
I could literally put him in my eyes.
That sounds weird.
I am no contact lens.
How can I make up with him?
You should buy him a present.
I can pick one out.
Do you know what my grandson would like?
-Of course! I am 17 too.
-You aren't 37?
Nendo came up with a good suggestion.
But can he really pick out a good present?
This is the one, old man.
He can't.
All 17-year-olds want dumbbells.
Actually, most of us don't.
How about this?
You see that variety pack of coffee jelly?
-Get him the push-up bars behind it.
-I don't need them!
What sort of store is this?
How about that? Didn't you say
he's a contact lens?
I'm a human.
All 17-year-olds want this.
I don't think so.
I could use a spare pair of glasses.
So, what should I do?
Right.
Kusuo. Do you have a second?
I bought this impulsively.
It is nothing, really.
But I felt bad about before.
This is my way of saying sorry.
I am so embarrassed
that I can't look at his face!
I did it! I mustered up the courage
to hand it to him!
Thank you!
Mine just broke. I needed new ones!
Why are you here?
Secret technique, switching places.
No! This isn't for you!
-How nice of you!
-Great! You apologized and made up.
I didn't expect you'd apologize to him.
We're sorry for being so cold to you.
-You are so great.
-I guess it worked out.
I see. It's almost that time of the year.
That time!
-The horse racing season, right?
-No!
-The ATP World Tour Final?
-No!
My mom's birthday?
-Absolutely not.
-I meant Halloween!
This weekend, I shall celebrate Halloween
at my abode!
Are you throwing a party?
That sounds like fun. I'll go.
This should be fun, despite it being
a day for worshiping ghosts.
See you this weekend. I must go now.
Bye.
-The wind calls to me.
-Halloween.
In the West, this day
is as widely celebrated as Christmas.
I am not quite sure
what this holiday is for.
Do they know what Halloween is?
Don't you say "trick or treat"?
-They wear costumes, right?
-Pumpkins?
-What is Halloween?
-What is Halloween?
They don't know anything.
Okay. The decorations look great
and my costume is perfect!
They will love this.
The jack-o'-lanterns I made
didn't turn out well.
But they are certainly scary.
They came!
I wonder what costumes they are wearing.
I was waiting for you, Saiki.
Why didn't you wear a costume?
I came. Be glad for that.
Halloween without a costume
is like Christmas without a turkey.
No one serves turkey on Christmas.
Fine. I will lend you a costume.
Anyway, it's good that I arrived first.
The others will have trouble coming in
without a costume.
Right. We need costumes for Halloween.
This is bad.
I am wearing my normal tank tops
and shorts.
I didn't know either.
I came in my normal party outfit.
-That wasn't a costume?
-That wasn't a costume?
-Let's buy something at that 100-yen shop.
-Sure.
They finally came.
I'm not done yet, so don't move.
This is enough.
You're a bit late, Aren. Hairo.
Such poor quality! Do you even care
about this party?
Hairo. You are just wearing a trash bag!
I have a weapon.
That is for picking up trash.
You're just an excited trash man!
Aren, that is not a mummy costume.
You just wrapped yourself in toilet paper!
Say what you will.
It is simply the moans of a beast.
Sorry! You were a Phantom Troupe thief!
No one came in proper costumes.
Didn't Nendo come in costume?
He hasn't come yet. I'm sure he won't.
-Who won't wear a costume?
-It can't be!
-You're right.
-Go home!
Don't you know what Halloween is for?
Why am I the only one in costume?
Look at him!
-Amazing costume.
-Me?
-That is amazing.
-Look at those pointed ears.
That butt chin cannot exist in real life.
Look at that bizarre hairstyle.
-Let's take a photo together!
-What?
-What's that costume?
-It seems that
-I look better than you in your costume.
-Amazing.
Enough of this! Halloween is canceled!
Wait, Shun!
Kusuo!
Don't get scared of your own work.
Shun.
Don't hide in there. Come out.
We are sorry. Can you open this?
That isn't locked.
I can just lift the lid.
That's not the point.
We want him to come out on his own.
He won't come out.
What kind of host gets upset
during a party and hides? Is he a child?
Let's start the party.
He might come out to join a fun party.
Is he a child?
What do people do on Halloween?
That is the question.
-Right. I did prepare one thing.
-What?
I had this sort of image of Halloween.
I brought this squash.
That is straight out of your image.
I myself brought something.
You know trick or treat, right?
That means that you need to
give something to avoid pranks.
-So, I brought this squash.
-Now we have two.
I didn't know anything,
so I brought some meat.
That makes no sense.
Why meat?
Well, I suppose there's no point
in having these squash.
I saw this on the news.
Everyone brings a squash
and the biggest one wins.
-That's what you do on Halloween, right?
-That's something else.
That sounds right.
-My meat can't win!
-You are disqualified.
-Idiots.
-What do you want?
Trick or treat!
Little guy, your buddy
and his girlfriend are here.
No. They are here for trick or treat!
We need to give them something
to avoid pranks!
Here you are.
What was that for?
That water stinks.
-They don't want the squash?
-Trick or treat!
More came. Let's try the meat.
I knew that was wrong!
-Trick or treat!
-Don't underestimate Halloween.
Face these children's black jokes.
I'm annoyed now.
You were in there for two hours.
What?
Trick or treat.
-What?
-Mommy!
Why is he throwing candies?
Right, candy!
We should have given them candies.
I see! That's what you do on Halloween.
We finally figured it out!
I got my candy. I'm going home.
The master didn't come out today either.
He has locked himself in his room
for a week now.
That gang of peons became such a pain.
This cannot be allowed.
-I heard, Metori.
-Father!
His backlighting and gold-plated clothing
is just too bright!
Even I am unable to see his face!
All I can see
is that father is petting a Siamese cat.
You cannot give up after losing a fight.
That is the destiny of the Saiko family.
That transfer student with the fancy
haircut hasn't come to school recently.
Didn't the fan club attack his home?
The fan club was simply a distraction.
I was the one who controlled them
in the darkness.
I used their distraction
to release my sealed power,
the Dark Dragon Cannon,
and bring destruction to his home.
Was that you?
You'd better be prepared.
Wait a minute.
Good luck, Kaido.
What did you come here for?
Do you want to eat ramen too?
Why are you inviting him? Idiot!
This one was called Nendo.
If he is trying to befriend me,
he must be after money.
I'm not going if he is!
Let's go, Saiki.
I guess if I buy this guy off,
I can make the others kneel before me
one by one.
I'll bring you somewhere better
than a ramen shop.
CHATEAUBRIAND
Amazing!
Can I eat this?
You can eat anything you want.
Yummy! This is awesome!
-Yummy! This is good!
-You are smarter than you look.
Really?
You made a right choice to work for me.
Work for you? I don't like that.
I guess he's not a total idiot.
Now let's talk cash.
As a greeting, I'll give you
one million yen. Take it.
Seriously? You'll just give me this?
Yes. Each time you follow my instructions,
you will be rewarded.
Seriously? You're a good guy.
We have a deal.
Now you are my underling.
I am? Quit joking.
He's quite good at negotiating.
I think you forgot a zero.
-How about two million?
-It's pointless.
Let me tell you the perfect expression
for what you are doing.
"Casting pearls before swine."
Would you like dessert?
Sure, but that guy is paying.
How about 150 million yen!
That escalated quickly.
I don't know what you're talking about,
but we can be friends.
What is he saying?
I already have a pal,
so you can't be my pal.
Does he want us to be equals
without any obligation to follow orders?
Is that what he's saying?
We are equals.
No one is in charge.
You are wrong about everything.
That was awesome!
That meat was awesome.
The shrimp was totally awesome too.
The garlic rice was awesome.
The dessert was awesome too.
Do you only know the word "awesome"?
What is with him?
I feel bad about making you pay.
Let's go somewhere else.
I'll pay this time.
Does he not want to be in my debt?
Enough!
I am tired of playing games.
This is 150 million yen.
Decide now
whether you will work for me or not.
Nendo, just say yes.
You can buy anything with money.
Metori. You can buy anything
in this world with money.
I have lived under that teaching
from my father.
What a terrible parent.
No.
No matter how much you pay,
I don't want to be your underling.
Is he sane? He won't be bought off either?
If you want me to be your underling,
-you should get me 100 bowls of ramen.
-You can get ramen with this money!
You can eat that much with this money?
You can eat as much as you want!
It's 150 million yen!
He must have thought it was 15,000 yen.
What will you do?
Will you be my underling or
I will.
I'm taking this.
As soon as he understood the value
of money, he changed his attitude.
Now it became clear.
There is nothing you can't buy with money.
What are you doing?
-The cash is flying away!
-Can you hear me?
Grab on to this!
Don't move from there!
What is that?
Seriously?
He threw away money to save him?
He must not understand the value of money.
No. He knew the value,
but still threw it away.
He did it for some random brat.
Hey, pal.
Good grief.
He does some ridiculous things.
Good thing Saiko had
something that floats.
Aluminum cases aren't buoyant enough
to hold people.
But now I need to be Saiko's underling.
I don't think that will be necessary.
Father told me a lie.
Some people cannot be bought off.
My high school life is certainly hectic.
If this tension continues like this,
even a psychic like me can be overwhelmed.
That's why II eat coffee jelly.
I find peace when I eat coffee jelly.
Next time
To be honest, it is the final episode.
Subtitle translation by James Burns