The Persuaders (1971) s01e23 Episode Script

'Shelley Masterton.
'She came into an enormous inheritance.
'Major stockholder of a vast international business complex.
'Her fortune - 30 million and getting bigger all the time.
' You've really done your homework.
I know more about her than her best friend.
Who she knows, where she goes, what she does.
- What do you figure the take'll be? - The sky's the limit.
She could pay off the national debt and not even feel it.
All right.
I'll stake you.
How much do you need? - Say 10,000? - You've got it.
And I get my investment back plus 50 per cent of your take.
- Forty.
- Fifty.
Argue and it'll be sixty.
A con man's handshake isn't worth much.
My security is that you know nobody ever got away with crossing me.
Just make sure you get every penny she's got.
Everything.
Buenas noches.
Sounds like $10,720.
$27.
That was very close.
Very good.
What is it with Americans and poker? You spend three days playing to pick up what you give away.
It's the game.
It's the game.
Bluffing Calling the odds And tonight, I was superb.
- In two words, su perb.
- Pity you won't talk about it.
- You want to hear about it? - No, no, no.
I like that.
It was a terrific scene.
I'm in against one player, a Spanish aristocrat, like a count or a duke or a king or something.
Anyway, suddenly, I'm out seven.
Then I'm into him for five - Hundreds? - What hundreds? Thousands! Well, El Pokerino, he gets really hot.
He's murdering me.
The next thing I know, he gets cold.
Then hot, then cold.
- Then you started winning? - Right.
All of a sudden, I was drawing the inside straights, and the next thing I know, I'm the poppa of 100,000 smackers.
- Like a lamb to the slaughter.
- Right.
First, he took you for 10,000, right? And then he stepped outside.
When he came back, you started winning.
Beautiful.
It's the oldest gag in the world.
First, he took your real cash - and then fed you back funny money.
- Right.
Counterfeit.
- You knew? - Yeah, yeah.
Sure.
You did get your money back, then? Oh, sure.
After the game, I gave him a crash course in pain.
Why, I do love a game loser.
- Get up! - Please, John! Shelley, I warned you about him.
I haven't finished with you, Foster! Now, there must be some better way.
Good evening.
Thank you.
You were quite a help.
A drink would be a better one.
Daniel.
- What will you have? - Whisky soda.
- Daniel? - I'll have a whisky soda.
Two whisky sodas, and I'll have a brandy.
- Your daughter? - No, Shelley Masterton.
Oh, the soap heiress.
She's worth $30 million.
That's a lot of suds.
And you, sir? John Hatton.
Her financial adviser since her parents died.
- Never any problem - Until now.
Carl Foster.
- You know him? - I know him, and every hotel in Miami knows him.
When he's around, they lock up wives, daughters and widows.
I presume that means he's a rich lady mechanic? Right.
A few tugs at the heart, and soon the money's gone.
- Shelley knows that.
- But thinks this is different.
- She believes it's the real thing.
- Real robbery.
- Nicely put, Daniel.
- The poor girl.
There's nothing I can do to stop them getting married.
Now, will you put an apple on your head? No.
I'm gonna take red, I think.
- A good choice.
- You think so? Watch, kiddo.
I meant blue.
Not red, it was blue I meant.
Colour blind.
Mother's side of the family.
- Shelley Masterton.
- Nice girl.
Too much of a pushover for a guy like Foster.
Yellow.
Pun intended.
You're not suggesting we take a hand? I was thinking about it.
To broaden her horizons, you know? Show the limitations of Foster compared to A clean-cut, up-and-up, handsome - maybe too handsome Yes.
Slightly raffish, sophisticated, just this side of devastating Right.
I could do it.
I really could do it.
- You?! - Certainly.
I mean, the shoe fits.
- Not you? - I would be the natural choice.
There's a way of deciding a natural choice, you know.
Yes, it would add credibility to the situation.
And flatter the girl.
It's too much.
You and me up against each other.
- You wanna bet? - Put your money where your mouth is.
- Five.
- You're on.
- Winner takes all? - No holds barred.
- No holds barred.
- To the death, baby.
Somebody's gonna get themselves killed.
- I've got a nomination.
- Why do they do it? To show their masculinity and their courage.
- To prove their virility.
- Got to be stupid.
Right.
I've got another nomination.
You know, he would be one of the greatest bullfighters of our time.
He'd down in the ring and without a sword he would talk him to death.
Oh, for heaven's sake, stop it, you two.
Stop it! 'lf I have one magnificent quality - 'and I certainly have - it's my modesty.
'And how could any girl resist 'when you're alone on a boat with the sea, the sun, champagne 'and the happy, happy thought 'that a certain American gentleman is miles away on shore.
' 'It stands to reason, any clean-living American boy 'can outsmart any decadent English aristocrat.
'Do you want to be alone with a girl? 'You find a lonely mountain, so steep even the goats don't use it, 'you climb to the top, and what do you see? ' First, we'll go to this private beach I know and have a picnic, then later, I'll take you to the top of a mountain.
There's a place I know that's fabulous.
Wine, candlelight and the best flamenco guitarist this side of Madrid.
- Why, Danny? - "Why Danny" what? You and Brett trying to make me feel important.
- Well, you're a nice-looking girl - No, no.
I'm rather new at this sort of game.
I've been pushed from one girls' school to another If you're giving me the poor little rich girl routine, forget it.
- And I tell you - I don't care if you believe me.
The fact is that I've been suffering from a bad case of over-protection.
You see, Danny, I didn't just plain grow up.
I was moulded into what someone else thought I should be.
I see.
Moulded, huh? Whoever did the moulding didn't do a bad job.
- You think I'm attractive? - You're a knockout, but I don't really have to tell you that, do I? John Hatton wanted you to say that.
You're the most suspicious nice English girl I ever met.
You think I don't know why you and Brett are throwing yourselves at me? - Tell me why again.
I forgot.
- He put you up to this, didn't he? - Who's he? - John Hatton.
- I see.
John Hatton.
- It's great, Danny, it's great.
But don't expect it to work, that's all.
Shelley, I'm nuts about you.
Lovers' quarrel? Here he is.
The English lord.
What are you doing here? - Waiting for you to leave.
- Oh, really? Well, I'm leaving.
I'm leaving.
- Hasta la vista.
- Hasta la never.
Tell me, do you have any special plans for today? Good.
Then we'll go down to a shady, secluded little spot where we'll be entirely alone.
Then afterwards, we'll go to the beach.
There's a little bodega with The best flamenco guitarist this side of Madrid.
You've been there! I'm sorry.
I'm too suspicious of everyone's motives around here.
Well, we'll move out of the sun, and I'll buy you a forgiving drink.
Well, well, well.
If it isn't Buffalo Bill Coady.
Not while I'm eating, Wilde.
You're early.
They don't take the garbage out yet.
Very funny.
- Still in the banking business? - I have a few investments.
Cheese? No.
Save it for the mouse you got baited here.
Here? Mr Wilde, I'm a guest in this hotel.
You're also bankrolling a cheapskate named Carl Foster.
Over there.
Sorry, I don't know the man.
See you around, Mr Wilde.
Call it off, Coady, or I'll rub you out with spot remover.
Hello, darling.
I was looking for you.
- I thought you were busy.
- Shame you can't join us.
Thank you, but we have an appointment.
The lawyer, my darling.
Oh, yes.
The lawyer.
Sorry.
We're due in half an hour.
I'm sure you don't mind.
- If that's what Shelley wants.
- It is.
Isn't it, Shelley? Yes.
Yes, of course.
Well, sorry, Brett.
Perhaps another time? Hasta la vista.
A lawyer?! She said nothing to me.
Could she be signing over any money to him? I have to approve any significant payment from the estate.
Well, he's putting on the pressure.
I've got to know what he's planning.
Psst! Now what? Do whatever I do.
Good evening, senores.
He's gone.
Shh! Quiet.
Now, I've seen this done a million times in the movies.
Here Mica.
It's not thick enough.
Give me a bobby pin.
- What's that? - Hairpin.
Hairpin.
Thanks.
Watch.
- What happened? - It fell through the other side.
- Fork.
- You gonna eat your way through? Just give me the fork.
You and your jokes.
Listen.
I've got an idea.
We hire a young burglar and give him his first chance? What are you talking about? This place is easy.
I'll show you.
Spencer Tracy once took a pipe cleaner, an ordinary pipe cleaner and by inserting it in the keyhole and delicately moving it about in intricate positions - you know, I could become a gentleman cracksman - he opened it.
Well, it doesn't seem Your Lordship? There's no need to kneel.
I'm a very democratic lord.
Now, how did you do that? I went through those windows and along there to the balcony and out through - Now, what are you doing out there? - Coming in.
Shh! - You sure he's out with Shelley? - He's gone for hours.
- Where do we start? - The most obvious place.
- Under the bed? - No, no.
Follow the master.
See that chest of drawers? It's always the top one, on the right, underneath the socks.
I'm so smart, I get a headache.
Beginner's luck.
On second thoughts, I think you should let me put it back.
- Why? - There's a guy standing at the door with a gun aimed at our backs.
That's one of the best reasons I've ever heard.
Put it away, Stanley.
Breaking and entering.
I could shoot you down now.
- In self-defence, of course.
- He couldn't go through with it.
- Why should I? - Yeah.
He's got it made.
Especially with that document that Shelley signed.
He becomes legal adviser to her estate in the event of John Hatton's retirement, voluntary resignation or demise.
He could be suddenly demised dead.
- He's stopped nodding.
Shall we? - Let's go.
- What shall we do tonight? - There's a discotheque There was no need for all this.
- What were you gonna do? Tell us? - Like reporting a fire to arsonists.
You know you can't stop me now.
- He still has to get rid of Hatton.
- Murder? Not Foster.
He hasn't got the belly for it.
He's a pussycat.
You could rent space on his yellow streak? This is the big one, gentlemen.
$30 million.
The one I've waited for all my life.
Nobody's gonna stop me now, including you.
You know, he might have the belly for it, after all.
I'm warning you.
Keep out of my way.
I'm in this up to the neck.
If you don't think I'd kill for $30 million, try me.
Shelley, isn't it time you faced it? You know what Foster wants from you.
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Fine.
I know you mean well but why don't you see things how they really are? You say he's after my money.
So could every man in my life.
How am I to know? Some time, I've got to take the chance.
Yes, but not with a man like him.
Your pride's caught up in this.
Take some advice.
Advice? I don't need advice.
I'm a big girl now.
- With a big fortune.
- Look, all my life, I've put up with counsellors, advisers.
I've got to make my own mistakes.
I'm 26.
It's time.
Well, accept that you got off to a bad start.
That's not true.
I've known Carl some time.
He's never asked for a penny.
He's paid his way and mine.
Now what sort of trick is that? The usual sort.
Look, he's said it out loud.
This is the big one for him.
- He pushed you into signing that - He did not push me.
I wanted to.
It simply states that he'll become my administrator - should anything happen to John.
- And it just might.
- Are you suggesting he'd kill John? - Would you like to take the chance? It's a hot dog.
Oh, I know better.
It's sausage and Excuse me.
Don't run.
I'm gonna show you something.
- Why? - Don't make a scene.
- Come on.
- Let go of me! I don't pretend to know what's happened but it needn't be anything to do with Carl Foster.
It could be a burglary, something like that.
Come on, you could think of 100 ways not to involve Foster but you'd be kidding yourself.
- Well, what can we do? - Come on.
You know, you're a terrible operator.
Good con men don't sweat when they're worried.
- Why should I be? - I'm running out of time.
But things are working fine.
She's all set up.
- Then move in for the kill.
- A few more days Now.
Now, Foster.
- Well, what's the hurry? - 24 hours or I move in on you.
- Sure, Coady.
- You be sure.
And try not to sweat, Foster.
It betrays you.
He's not in the hotel, and his car's still on the lot.
- I don't know where he's - Here comes your amorata now.
I'm sorry I'm late, darling.
Something came up.
- That's all right.
- I'll be busy for a while yet.
- We were having dinner.
- I know, I know.
I'll be back by eleven.
I'm sure Mr Wilde will look after you.
- Any time.
- I'm so sorry, sweetheart.
- You do understand, don't you? - Bye.
- Be as quick as I can.
- Carl? You haven't seen John Hatton, have you? - Hatton? No.
Was he looking for me? - No.
No, it doesn't matter.
Well, I think we'd better go.
I think I saw lights on a side road back there.
I'll turn around.
- That was Carl.
- Where's Brett? I tried to hold out but he forced me to sign.
There was no choice.
Buenas tardes.
Wait here.
You come to a poor village and steal our guest from us.
Our law permits us to cut off the hand of a thief.
We don't give prizes for kidnapping, either.
Now, I'm going to take this man out of here.
No, senor.
We are people of great honour.
We get money to give lodging to your friend.
How much to unlodge him? Don't offer me money, senor.
You insult me.
If a man wants something badly enough, he fights for it.
Marquis of Queensbury or catch-as-catch-can? If you win, you walk away with your friend.
If you lose, you don't walk.
Keep back.
I think it's cabaret time.
- Who wins? - You, senor.
Nice and slow.
I am a very bad loser, senor.
Not only am I a bad loser, I am a liar and a cheat.
You will both stay here.
By the way, I'm a bad loser, too.
All right.
Let's hear the worst.
He had the document prepared.
My official resignation.
I am no longer Shelley's financial adviser.
I signed.
That wraps it up.
He now controls the estate.
I got to hand it to him, nice work.
Expensive but nice.
Yes, but he can't cash cheques without Shelley's countersignature.
He can't force me to do that, whatever else he can do.
For you.
Without his signature, there's no trading, no investments.
It could cost millions.
Is that from Foster? Yeah.
He'll return the documents for a consideration? - $100,000.
- Never.
I won't allow it.
- We have no choice.
- We have the law.
Documents signed under coercion and threats? The courts would invalidate them.
Yeah, but getting in the courts could take a long time.
Do you think I'll pay some fortune-hunter, let him know that he's beaten us? Oh, no.
- I want you to pay him, John.
- What?! - Pay him the money.
- Why? I don't want my stupidity all over the newspapers.
Leave me some pride.
Oh, please, John.
Pay him.
No, Shelley.
I'll never agree to pay that man one single penny.
Shelley, do it his way.
It'll make noise for a couple of days, then be yesterday's news.
- People just don't remember.
- I'll remember.
No, I'll find that money somehow.
You have to pay for your mistakes, don't you? Hello? It's Foster.
Yes.
Yes, I got your note.
You'll agree it's a small price to pay.
You know, there were times I saw you as a beautiful woman and not just a crock of gold.
But I mustn't get sentimental.
Now to business.
I can't.
It's impossible.
Of course you can.
You'll do it.
And you'll bring yourself and be alone, understand? I can't.
It's impossible.
- What? - He won't wait.
He wants the money by noon tomorrow.
- You play a good game of poker.
- Thank you.
Gambling is a family tradition.
As a matter of fact, my great-great uncle - Viscount Exley, mother's side of the family - once made what is reputed to be the world's largest wager on a hand of cards.
Really? He staked the entire family land and estates - six noble houses, ten million acres, 100,000 guineas - all on one turn of the cards.
- Fantastic.
What happened? - Oh, he lost.
I would have killed myself.
He did.
Who's opening? Danny! You shouldn't have dressed.
Listen, come here.
You know, about this money that you need.
I It's funny, but I just had some lying around in my bag.
I thought maybe you could use a little.
- Danny, I - A little money I had.
- Use it if you need it - I don't know what to say There's nothing to say, just A full.
Aces on Tens.
You wouldn't care for a few more hands? Thank you, no.
You have better fortune than your ancestor.
I believe that it's better to be a bad winner than a good loser.
Gentlemen, that seems to be that.
Senor, even as a loser, I consider it a privilege to have played with you.
Thank you.
One other thing My original stake money.
You wouldn't mind if I took it back? You see, unlike this, this is real.
Get after him! Go on! Get after him! Quick! - Good night.
- Night, Danny.
- I don't know how to thank you.
- Nothing to thank me for.
Oh, er Don't tell Brett about the money.
See you in the morning.
- Don't forget our date.
- Don't change.
- Look what I found.
- Brett! I thought you might find a use for it.
Well, I I just don't know what to say.
- Don't say anything.
- Do you mind if I kiss you? I'd be most hurt if you didn't.
How can I ever thank you? Oh, we'll think of a way.
By the way, don't say anything to Danny.
Oh, I wouldn't.
Believe me, I wouldn't.
- Right here.
- Keep going.
Why not say goodbye? Why don't you share your trolley with the glandular type that goes for you? Save her the embarrassment of having to tell you she's met a real man.
- Gentlemen, I can help.
- What is it? Miss Masterton, she checked out one hour ago.
Thank you.
You know, I - Checked out? - She and Mr Hatton.
Thank you.
So, you, er Ioaned Shelley the money, hmm? Are you kidding? You think I'd pull a trick like that? - To give you an edge, right? - Right.
It was a rotten, sneaky thing to do.
What do you expect from a rotten sneak? Anyway, don't forget our bet.
To the death.
Daniel, I cannot tell you how disappointed I am in us.
Us? Wait a minute, you didn't give her? That's the most conniving, dirty Wait a minute, she only needed - And I gave her.
- Brett - Don't say it.
- Let's toast.
To three of the neatest artists in the business.
$200,000! Two? You doubled it.
Yes, and I wasn't even trying.
Each of them handed over.
Both made me swear not to tell the other one.
- Naturally, I agreed.
- That's priceless! You're a genius! - I rather think I am.
- That calls for a celebration.
This'll interest you.
Your namesake got married.
Big society wedding.
"Miss Shelley Masterton and Mr Thomas Ried-Watson.
" Hmm Not bad looking.
I wouldn't say she's quite in my class, though.
- You played the part brilliantly.
- Oh, thank you.
- Where's Johnny? - Putting the bags in the car.
Pity we have to rush off.
I was beginning to like it here.
The climate is going to get unhealthy fast.
There's something I didn't mention - where I got the money to finance us.
How you set up the banker? When you showed him the Masterton estate with me acting like it was mine, what did you offer him? - 50 per cent of the take.
- Smooth operator.
Well? - He thinks you're Shelley Masterton.
- What does that matter? The banker is a man named Coady, and you don't cheat on Coady.
You must be out of your mind.
That's why we're getting out fast and travelling far.
That's Johnny.
Get ready.
Suddenly, I've got wings on my heels.
I'll get my things.
Look in the case, Johnny.
It'll make your heart sing.
I'll do that, Foster.
Hi.
Nice surprise.
Surprise? You must have been expecting a visit from me sometime.
Of course.
Naturally.
As a matter of fact, I was about to call you.
Of course you were.
But I thought I'd come to check on my investment.
I've had people watching you here.
I don't like what I've heard.
- I'll tell you the truth - That would be nice, and unusual.
You see I mean Well, kidnapping is a little out of my territory.
- Rather late to admit that.
- Maybe, but I've cleaned up anyway.
- A couple of playboys.
- That's what I hear.
You were pulling some kind of con trick on them, while you had Shelley Masterton and her $30 million in the palm of your hand.
All right.
So I got chicken, but 200,000 isn't bad, Coady.
- And half of it's yours.
- That's big of you.
You're not going to buy your way out with this.
The kidnap is still on.
I want Shelley Masterton.
- Then I can help you.
She's here.
- Check.
Look, you can handle the whole thing from now on.
I'll bow out.
You can collect the whole take.
Yes, you'll certainly - You've got to be kidding?! - It was the sensible thing to do.
The next time you try to convince me that you're a double-crosser, I'll believe it and forgive you.
I appreciate that.
I couldn't part with real cash.
I had to get a bundle of funny money.
The stuff I had.
Where'd you get yours? From the counterfeit Spanish card-playing count.
You know for a peer of the realm, you strike me as a devious gent.
In this age, how else can we keep our heads above water? I agree with you I don't believe what I believe.
I imagine you didn't expect to see me again.
Would you like to practise our karate homework? - I take everything above the belt.
- Do anything you want to me.
But it's the girl you know as Shelley.
Where is she now? Istanbul? South America? She's in desperate trouble.
You're the only ones I can come to for help.
I don't care about Foster.
All that matters is that I've got you.
A note has been sent to your home.
If anybody cares for you, they'll be quite quick to react.
- And if they don't? - Either way, Miss Masterton, either way, your future is rather limited.
You know now.
So you see, I really couldn't let you leave here alive.
Now I know it was counterfeit money, I don't feel so bad about asking for help.
You'll feel bad.
We're gonna find new ways to make you feel bad.
I'll drink to that if only I had something to drink with.
The only reason we're here is my friend's misplaced sense of chivalry.
Apart from the fact that Shelley's attractive for a confidence trickster.
What's her real name? Gladys Smith.
Gladys Smith.
- Doesn't sound too bad.
- How many men does Coady have? Well, three that I know of, but there might be more round the back.
- How many? - Altogether? Six at the most.
- Six.
- Six.
With guns.
- Sure to.
- There are three of us I won't be much help in a roughhouse.
- I have this heart condition.
- I'm developing one myself.
- We could use a little help.
- Daniel, as always, you explain the situation with impeccable understatement.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? A perfect choice.
- Get her down here.
- Miss Masterton? The one we thought was Miss Masterton.
Here.
Finish trussing him.
Daniel may need help.
My great pleasure.
Come on.
Eat hearty.
It's good for you.
- Daniel, I like those short punches.
- I've got news for you - It is nice.
- Not short enough.
Make it tense.
- How many is that? Three? - That makes four.
Evens up the odds somewhat.
Ramon, I cannot thank you enough.
Thank you.
A most agreeable way to make an honest peseta.
Hey, English, you're a good man with a crook.
Well, it takes one to know one.
I told you.
It's not my fault if you didn't believe me.
- You and Foster planned it.
- You wouldn't listen.
I don't like to lose money or be made a fool.
You have done both things.
Gladys, you might look happier to see us.
- What about Coady? - Let him go.
Ray, I thought you packed your hook and went.
I am a good shepherd, senor.
I never turn my back on a stray lamb.
You're my kind of shepherd.
Ta-ta.
- Farewell.
- Sorry.
We have champagne on ice.
That's a lot of sheep.
Couldn't you stay on a little longer? - Well, we would, but - I'm afraid London calls for me, and the Bronx for him.
- Well, thank you.
- Goodbye.
Our pleasure.
Listen, Shelley, Gladys, whatever Be careful.
Yes, Christian Dior fell down on prison uniforms this year.
- You're looking at a reformed woman.
- Glad to hear it.
- Ta-ta.
- Bye-bye.
Have you ever seen an oil rig working? No? Oh, so you're in oil.
How terribly interesting.
Quite a coincidence, actually.
Daddy's in the shipping business.
If you're a pretty girl, you can't lose them all.
- A thought - Our bet? - Mm-hmm.
- Why don't we just? - Forget it? - My very thought, old man.
Vamos.