The Suite Life of Zack & Cody s01e23 Episode Script
Pilot Your Own Life
Ok.
What are you gonna do for your school community service? I thought I'd see a movie.
Then I'll tell poor people about it.
Zack! This is a chance for us to really help people.
I'm thinking about working with kids.
I hate kids.
Hey, you better take this seriously, or you're gonna fail while I get an "a.
" You're one of the kids I hate.
I know! We should feed the hungry! Good idea.
Let's start with me.
Man: And with this method, I have helped millions of people worldwide! If you can conceive, you can believe This guy just talks and talks and-- it's a lecture.
This is amazing.
Is it ever.
I just ate 5 pounds of mini quiches, and I haven't thrown up yet.
Uh-oh.
I'm ok.
It passed.
Here I am in your life here you are in mine yes, we have a suite life most of the time you and me got the world to see so come on down just me and you know what to do so come on down it's you and me and me and you we got the whole place to ourselves you and me, we got it all for free so come on down this is the suite life we've got a suite life That's it, darling.
Love that! All right, now, give us a snobby look.
Well, I have about Which one would you like? One that says, "only I can afford these clothes.
" Ooh! Number 7.
One of my favorites.
She gives me that look I get that look from her dog.
And that is a wrap.
Well, technically, it's a really sparkly scarf.
[Both laugh.]
I love fashion humor.
So, when will I know if I'm teen trend's trendy teen of the year? Well, we're going to be reviewing all the finalists next week and make our decisions on the cover then.
When you break the bad news to the others, can I watch? [Both laugh.]
Oh, candy-counter girl, why is teen trend not displayed in the front? Because most teenagers can't afford to stay at a 4-star hotel.
They also can't afford to buy the clothes in your magazine.
Well, it is very hard to make cheap look nice.
Although you seem to be doing a rather good job of it.
What do you call that look? My uniform With a personal touch of maddie.
Actually, it's my dad's tie, so it's a personal touch of Irving.
Catchy, but a little long.
I'd call it blue-collar chic.
That was my second choice.
You know, we had narrowed down the finalists, but you have a certain something.
Maybe we'll consider you for the cover.
Really? Me? Get a shot of candy-counter girl here.
Uh, I'm not the model type.
I mean, I couldn't possibly-- say "teen trend's trendy teen of the year.
" Teen treen tren--uh, can I just smile? Ok.
If you can conceive, you can believe, and then you can achieve! I can achieve.
And I still might heave.
Remember, live your dream and aim for the sky, because you are the pilot of your own life.
Wow! This guy has really opened my eyes.
And apparently closed yours.
Ah, I see your brother has left no leftovers for my pet chicken Dudley, who, by the way, loves mini quiches.
Esteban, what was your biggest dream when you came to this country? Oh, I was hoping to be a millionaire baseball player, but I cannot throw, catch, or spit tobacco.
So this job is nice, too.
So you wanna be a bellhop your whole life? Oh, well, no.
Some day I want to manage the hotel, but that is very far off.
Is it? Think about it.
If you can conceive, you can believe, and you will achieve.
I will? Could I do it by this weekend? 'Cause I can use the cash.
It's possible only if you take the first step.
Are you willing to take the first step? Yes! What is the first step? Only you know, because you are the pilot of your own life.
Oh, this is a great country.
I walked into this room a bellhop.
I am walking out a pilot and a manager.
Oh, Dudley's gonna be so proud! Young man, I have never seen anybody grasp my course so quickly.
Gee, thanks.
I'm a quick grasper.
You know, you have the makings of a great life coach.
I'll bet being a life coach would count as my school community service.
Why limit yourself to school? You could help the global community.
Talk about extra credit! Is that boring jerk done yet? Oh, hey! Love the lecture.
Quiche? Thanks.
Hey, guys.
Whatcha been doin'? Inspiring people to reach their full potential and achieve their dreams.
It's never just playing ball with you.
So, guess what? I actually cooked-- for 3 hours.
None for me.
I'm stuffed.
Mom, do you ever find yourself feeling discouraged, unfulfilled, unappreciated? Not if you eat my casserole.
Not gonna happen.
My point is, people spend their lives too afraid to reach for the mountaintop.
Amen.
They let life slip by, day after dreary day.
Losers.
People like you.
Come again? You used to talk about making your own demo cd of songs you wrote.
I know.
That was years ago.
That's right, and you haven't got many years left.
Remember, mom, you are the pilot of your own life.
Carey, can I talk to you? I've got a problem.
Sure, honey.
Sit down.
You know I'm always here for you.
And apparently so is Cody.
Ok.
London is up for the cover of teen trend magazine, but they've asked me to compete against her.
How mad do you think she'll be? You remember the hairdresser that gave her the bad perm? All they found was his comb.
[Gasps.]
That's right, and his blow-dryer was still running.
I better drop out! Maddie Don't let fear in your cockpit.
Don't let what in your where? You can't let London pilot your own life for you.
She doesn't know where you're going.
Maddie Where are you going? To work on my new look.
I'm going to be teen trend's trendy teen of the year! Thanks, Cody.
Glad I could help! London: Maddie! Maddie! Do I have worry lines? Huh? Teen trend hasn't called me yet.
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't think! Don't go there.
London, there's something I need to tell you.
Not now! I mean, they just have to pick me.
Well, technically, they don't have to.
It is, after all, a contest, which implies competitors.
Daddy always says, "competition is a good thing.
" It's a chance to crush people.
So, what did you want to tell me? It's 54 degrees outside and partly cloudy.
Darlings, wonderful news! We've gone over all the pictures and decided.
You two are the finalists for this year's trendy teen.
We are? You are! We've decided to shoot both of you here next week, and whoever comes up with the best look wins the contest and gets the cover! Isn't it exciting? Air kiss.
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah! Ta, darlings.
I'm sorry.
Did she just say you were a finalist for the cover of teen trend against me, who is simply the living embodiment of both "teen" and "trend"? Well, she thought my look was cute and affordable.
Maddie, how could you do this? I thought you were my friend.
You know how much this cover means to me.
Ok, fine.
If you want me to give up this great opportunity so you can get what you want, as always, then I'll drop out.
That's sweet.
Drop out.
[Gasps.]
I will not drop out! How dare you ask me to drop out! You offered! I offered because I thought you'd be big enough to say no! Well, that was your mistake.
Well, your mistake was taking on Madeline Margaret Genevieve meraida Catherine Fitzpatrick! Fine! Stay in! I'll beat all of you.
Oh, yeah? Well, you're goin' down! Well, you're going downer! I'll crush you so bad you won't have a penny to your name, and you'll have to work like a dog for the rest of your life! Ha! I'm already there! Hey, maddie.
Looking good Except for those crummy clothes.
This is the first step in piloting my own life.
Oh, no! Cody got to you, too! He's like a virus! Housekeeping.
Gotta clean.
Since when? All right, you busted me.
Truth is, London paid me 10 bucks to spy on blondie here.
[Gasps.]
That is so low! For 100, I won't tell her I told you.
But I only have $3.
00 on me.
Close enough.
This goes in my poker fund.
Ante up, boys.
I'm comin' to clean ya out.
That'll be the first time she cleaned anything.
That London.
I mean, she has no scruples, no principles, no morals! Want me to go spy on her? Yes! And take lots of pictures.
Here's my camera phone.
What if she catches me? I'll miss you.
If they want blue-collar chic, I'll give them blue-collar chic! Aah! Stop moving! Stop sticking me! Take it like a man! Now raise your hem.
How much longer do you need me? I can't be late for school.
You see, I have taken Cody's advice to pilot my own life by enrolling in a night class to improve my English and loose my accent.
Loose? I have not started class yet, ok? [Knock on door.]
Come in! Hey, nice dress.
Thanks! Thanks.
Hey, is Cody in here? No, and I'm creating my look, so leave.
All right, but I need to call Cody.
Let's see if I can get a signal in here.
Uh, one bar Uh, 2 bars One bar Hey, Esteban, can you turn this way, please? Thanks.
Wait a minute.
Is this maddie's new camera phone? There's a camera in this? Cool! You're spying on me.
[Gasps.]
I feel so violated.
Why would you do this to me? Haven't I always been nice to you? No.
And I love maddie.
Well, if you really love her, you'll make sure she loses this contest.
Why? Because if she wins, she'll become successful and move to New York, Paris, and Milan, and you'll never see her again.
No! I can never let that happen! That's what I said before she made me put on this dress.
Where is Zack? I sent him to spy on London over an hour ago.
You're using my son as a spy? Oh, like you're using him for anything better.
Maddie, I really think you're getting a little carried away with this whole competition.
No, I'm not.
What took you so long?! Ok, I was wrong.
London caught me and erased the pictures.
Oh, no.
But it doesn't matter, because the fashion lady said she liked London best, so you might as well quit.
But I worked so hard.
I really thought I had a shot.
I'm such a loser.
I can't do this to you.
I just can't.
I cannot tell a lie.
Since when? You lie to me all the time.
But I can't lie to maddie.
I love her! Zack, why would you lie to me? Because if you win this contest, you'll become successful, move to New York, Paris, or Milan, and I'll never see you again.
Aw, Zack.
I'm not going anywhere.
And if I did, I'd take you with me.
Really? Really? [Mouthing.]
Ah, Esteban, there you are.
I'm gonna need you to work late tonight.
Oh, no, I can't, Mr.
moseby.
I am piloting my own life by taking a night school class 3 times a week.
I am going to loose my accent.
Loose? I better make that Mr.
moseby, I'm gonna need the weekend off.
Oh, let me guess.
You're gonna pilot your own life, hmm? Yes! I need to work on my demo cd.
Thank you for understanding.
Mmm.
Fine.
Go, go, go! It's no problem.
I'll just clean all the rooms and carry the luggage and sing in a slinky cocktail dress.
I'm kidding! It's a very tasteful cocktail dress.
Ohh! I can't believe I stayed up 3 days and nights finishing this outfit.
I hope the teen trend lady likes it.
I'm sure you'll do fine.
"I'm sure you'll do fine.
" What do you know? See? This is why sleep is a good thing.
Do you really like my outfit? You really think I'm gonna win? Remember, London, if you can conceive, you can believe, and you will-- I hate that expression! [Gasps.]
[Gasps.]
Hey, you stole my look! Stole? I made your lousy look better.
If it's so lousy, why'd you steal it? Because if they liked it on you, they'll love it on me.
Besides, there are a lot of differences between our outfits, like the fact yours is made out of cheap fabric.
[Gasps.]
See? Must be fake cotton, not the real stuff they get from goats.
Well, the only thing that's fake is you! [Gasps.]
[Gasps.]
Oh, no, you didn't.
Oh, yes, I di-id.
Give me that! No! It's mine! I don't care! It's my hair! I paid for it! Ok, fine.
[Gasps.]
Ohh! Fashion tip? No one wears heels like this anymore.
And no one's worn cuffs like these since the French revolution! [Gasps.]
Waaah-eee-ahh Oh, wait, I don't know kung fu.
Oh, but I love your shoes.
Oh, really? Nope! Ohh! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow This is terrible.
We have to stop them! Not yet.
[Gasps.]
Oh, I can't see! Aah! Aah! You're right, Zack.
This would be much better with pudding.
Aah! Let go, let go, let go! Let go, let go, let go! I'm not letting go till you let go.
Fine.
On the count of 3.
That comes after 2.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Aah! Aah! Ladies, the fight is over! [Ding.]
Now, go to your neutral elevators! Ohh! [Clothes ripping.]
Mr.
moseby: Not the tie! Not the shirt! Not the nameplate! [Panting.]
Aah! [Panting.]
Aah! Oh, my! My jacket! [Panting.]
Excuse me, have you seen maddie and London? Hi! Hello! Interesting look.
So, whose do you like better? Not sure.
We'll get back to you.
She meant me.
Oh, no, she didn't.
Oh, yes, she di-id.
Gah! It does-uh-n't ma-a-tter! Now, what has gotten into you two? It's all her fault! She has everything in the world, and she still had to steal from me.
I'm just taking back what's rightfully mine.
My look is the only thing I've got.
You've got a gajillion dollars! That's my dad's.
Fashion is the only thing that's mine, and you took that from me.
Oh, London Hey, maddie, we can t-- Mr.
moseby, don't be mad at them.
They were just following my advice and trying to pilot their own lives.
You You are the flight instructor who has been causing my employees to shirk their responsibilities.
Their responsibilities are to themselves.
I've been helping them fulfill their dreams.
[Southern accent.]
There y'all are.
Cody, I got a bone to pick with you.
Esteban? Why are you talking like that? 'Cause my new instructor jeb is from Texas.
Now if I wanna pilot my own life, I gotta do it at a rodeo.
Yee-haw! Thank y'all.
Ok, so I've made a couple of mistakes.
That doesn't mean my life coaching doesn't work.
Mom, please tell me everything went ok with your demo cd.
Oh, yeah.
The guy at the record company said I was really talented and have a future as a cabaret singer.
He suggested I check out the tipton.
Apparently, I just spent $500 to find out I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be! Well, you may be the first motivational speaker to lose his allowance.
Oh, well.
At least I know I'll get a better community service grade than Zack.
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
Mr.
moseby let me take all the buffet leftovers to the mission.
The mayor was there, and he's giving me an award for helping the homeless.
You?! An award? You can't even spell "award"! Don't have to.
It'll be on the plaque.
Who's getting an "a" in community service now, huh? I hate that kid.
[Sighs.]
Look how pretty I am in that outfit.
[Knock on door.]
Ow, ow, ow.
If you came up here to tear up the rest of my clothes, good luck it'll take you 6 weeks, and that's just my tennis outfits.
Actually, I came up here to apologize.
I didn't realize how important being on this cover was to you.
Yeah, you did.
Ok, I did.
But since you have everything, I just kind of figured it wouldn't matter that much to you.
Well, you were wrong, with a capital "r.
" I know, and I'm sorry.
Thanks.
[Sighs.]
I'm sorry I stole your blue-collar cheap look.
You mean chic.
No.
Well, I've always thought you had style.
Aww! To make this apology thing end, do I have to lie and say you have style, too? Yes.
I think you have style, too.
Thank you for lying.
Ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow! Other side.
Ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow! Much worse.
Air hug? [Laughs.]
Can you believe this? "The latest fashion among teen girls is being called urban decay.
" Ok, I've seen some ridiculous fashions before, but teen trend's gone too far this time.
Like anyone would be stupid enough to wear ripped clothing.
What do you think, ladies? Hot stuff, huh? Chhhh! [Both laughing.]
Chhhh!
What are you gonna do for your school community service? I thought I'd see a movie.
Then I'll tell poor people about it.
Zack! This is a chance for us to really help people.
I'm thinking about working with kids.
I hate kids.
Hey, you better take this seriously, or you're gonna fail while I get an "a.
" You're one of the kids I hate.
I know! We should feed the hungry! Good idea.
Let's start with me.
Man: And with this method, I have helped millions of people worldwide! If you can conceive, you can believe This guy just talks and talks and-- it's a lecture.
This is amazing.
Is it ever.
I just ate 5 pounds of mini quiches, and I haven't thrown up yet.
Uh-oh.
I'm ok.
It passed.
Here I am in your life here you are in mine yes, we have a suite life most of the time you and me got the world to see so come on down just me and you know what to do so come on down it's you and me and me and you we got the whole place to ourselves you and me, we got it all for free so come on down this is the suite life we've got a suite life That's it, darling.
Love that! All right, now, give us a snobby look.
Well, I have about Which one would you like? One that says, "only I can afford these clothes.
" Ooh! Number 7.
One of my favorites.
She gives me that look I get that look from her dog.
And that is a wrap.
Well, technically, it's a really sparkly scarf.
[Both laugh.]
I love fashion humor.
So, when will I know if I'm teen trend's trendy teen of the year? Well, we're going to be reviewing all the finalists next week and make our decisions on the cover then.
When you break the bad news to the others, can I watch? [Both laugh.]
Oh, candy-counter girl, why is teen trend not displayed in the front? Because most teenagers can't afford to stay at a 4-star hotel.
They also can't afford to buy the clothes in your magazine.
Well, it is very hard to make cheap look nice.
Although you seem to be doing a rather good job of it.
What do you call that look? My uniform With a personal touch of maddie.
Actually, it's my dad's tie, so it's a personal touch of Irving.
Catchy, but a little long.
I'd call it blue-collar chic.
That was my second choice.
You know, we had narrowed down the finalists, but you have a certain something.
Maybe we'll consider you for the cover.
Really? Me? Get a shot of candy-counter girl here.
Uh, I'm not the model type.
I mean, I couldn't possibly-- say "teen trend's trendy teen of the year.
" Teen treen tren--uh, can I just smile? Ok.
If you can conceive, you can believe, and then you can achieve! I can achieve.
And I still might heave.
Remember, live your dream and aim for the sky, because you are the pilot of your own life.
Wow! This guy has really opened my eyes.
And apparently closed yours.
Ah, I see your brother has left no leftovers for my pet chicken Dudley, who, by the way, loves mini quiches.
Esteban, what was your biggest dream when you came to this country? Oh, I was hoping to be a millionaire baseball player, but I cannot throw, catch, or spit tobacco.
So this job is nice, too.
So you wanna be a bellhop your whole life? Oh, well, no.
Some day I want to manage the hotel, but that is very far off.
Is it? Think about it.
If you can conceive, you can believe, and you will achieve.
I will? Could I do it by this weekend? 'Cause I can use the cash.
It's possible only if you take the first step.
Are you willing to take the first step? Yes! What is the first step? Only you know, because you are the pilot of your own life.
Oh, this is a great country.
I walked into this room a bellhop.
I am walking out a pilot and a manager.
Oh, Dudley's gonna be so proud! Young man, I have never seen anybody grasp my course so quickly.
Gee, thanks.
I'm a quick grasper.
You know, you have the makings of a great life coach.
I'll bet being a life coach would count as my school community service.
Why limit yourself to school? You could help the global community.
Talk about extra credit! Is that boring jerk done yet? Oh, hey! Love the lecture.
Quiche? Thanks.
Hey, guys.
Whatcha been doin'? Inspiring people to reach their full potential and achieve their dreams.
It's never just playing ball with you.
So, guess what? I actually cooked-- for 3 hours.
None for me.
I'm stuffed.
Mom, do you ever find yourself feeling discouraged, unfulfilled, unappreciated? Not if you eat my casserole.
Not gonna happen.
My point is, people spend their lives too afraid to reach for the mountaintop.
Amen.
They let life slip by, day after dreary day.
Losers.
People like you.
Come again? You used to talk about making your own demo cd of songs you wrote.
I know.
That was years ago.
That's right, and you haven't got many years left.
Remember, mom, you are the pilot of your own life.
Carey, can I talk to you? I've got a problem.
Sure, honey.
Sit down.
You know I'm always here for you.
And apparently so is Cody.
Ok.
London is up for the cover of teen trend magazine, but they've asked me to compete against her.
How mad do you think she'll be? You remember the hairdresser that gave her the bad perm? All they found was his comb.
[Gasps.]
That's right, and his blow-dryer was still running.
I better drop out! Maddie Don't let fear in your cockpit.
Don't let what in your where? You can't let London pilot your own life for you.
She doesn't know where you're going.
Maddie Where are you going? To work on my new look.
I'm going to be teen trend's trendy teen of the year! Thanks, Cody.
Glad I could help! London: Maddie! Maddie! Do I have worry lines? Huh? Teen trend hasn't called me yet.
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't think! Don't go there.
London, there's something I need to tell you.
Not now! I mean, they just have to pick me.
Well, technically, they don't have to.
It is, after all, a contest, which implies competitors.
Daddy always says, "competition is a good thing.
" It's a chance to crush people.
So, what did you want to tell me? It's 54 degrees outside and partly cloudy.
Darlings, wonderful news! We've gone over all the pictures and decided.
You two are the finalists for this year's trendy teen.
We are? You are! We've decided to shoot both of you here next week, and whoever comes up with the best look wins the contest and gets the cover! Isn't it exciting? Air kiss.
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah! Ta, darlings.
I'm sorry.
Did she just say you were a finalist for the cover of teen trend against me, who is simply the living embodiment of both "teen" and "trend"? Well, she thought my look was cute and affordable.
Maddie, how could you do this? I thought you were my friend.
You know how much this cover means to me.
Ok, fine.
If you want me to give up this great opportunity so you can get what you want, as always, then I'll drop out.
That's sweet.
Drop out.
[Gasps.]
I will not drop out! How dare you ask me to drop out! You offered! I offered because I thought you'd be big enough to say no! Well, that was your mistake.
Well, your mistake was taking on Madeline Margaret Genevieve meraida Catherine Fitzpatrick! Fine! Stay in! I'll beat all of you.
Oh, yeah? Well, you're goin' down! Well, you're going downer! I'll crush you so bad you won't have a penny to your name, and you'll have to work like a dog for the rest of your life! Ha! I'm already there! Hey, maddie.
Looking good Except for those crummy clothes.
This is the first step in piloting my own life.
Oh, no! Cody got to you, too! He's like a virus! Housekeeping.
Gotta clean.
Since when? All right, you busted me.
Truth is, London paid me 10 bucks to spy on blondie here.
[Gasps.]
That is so low! For 100, I won't tell her I told you.
But I only have $3.
00 on me.
Close enough.
This goes in my poker fund.
Ante up, boys.
I'm comin' to clean ya out.
That'll be the first time she cleaned anything.
That London.
I mean, she has no scruples, no principles, no morals! Want me to go spy on her? Yes! And take lots of pictures.
Here's my camera phone.
What if she catches me? I'll miss you.
If they want blue-collar chic, I'll give them blue-collar chic! Aah! Stop moving! Stop sticking me! Take it like a man! Now raise your hem.
How much longer do you need me? I can't be late for school.
You see, I have taken Cody's advice to pilot my own life by enrolling in a night class to improve my English and loose my accent.
Loose? I have not started class yet, ok? [Knock on door.]
Come in! Hey, nice dress.
Thanks! Thanks.
Hey, is Cody in here? No, and I'm creating my look, so leave.
All right, but I need to call Cody.
Let's see if I can get a signal in here.
Uh, one bar Uh, 2 bars One bar Hey, Esteban, can you turn this way, please? Thanks.
Wait a minute.
Is this maddie's new camera phone? There's a camera in this? Cool! You're spying on me.
[Gasps.]
I feel so violated.
Why would you do this to me? Haven't I always been nice to you? No.
And I love maddie.
Well, if you really love her, you'll make sure she loses this contest.
Why? Because if she wins, she'll become successful and move to New York, Paris, and Milan, and you'll never see her again.
No! I can never let that happen! That's what I said before she made me put on this dress.
Where is Zack? I sent him to spy on London over an hour ago.
You're using my son as a spy? Oh, like you're using him for anything better.
Maddie, I really think you're getting a little carried away with this whole competition.
No, I'm not.
What took you so long?! Ok, I was wrong.
London caught me and erased the pictures.
Oh, no.
But it doesn't matter, because the fashion lady said she liked London best, so you might as well quit.
But I worked so hard.
I really thought I had a shot.
I'm such a loser.
I can't do this to you.
I just can't.
I cannot tell a lie.
Since when? You lie to me all the time.
But I can't lie to maddie.
I love her! Zack, why would you lie to me? Because if you win this contest, you'll become successful, move to New York, Paris, or Milan, and I'll never see you again.
Aw, Zack.
I'm not going anywhere.
And if I did, I'd take you with me.
Really? Really? [Mouthing.]
Ah, Esteban, there you are.
I'm gonna need you to work late tonight.
Oh, no, I can't, Mr.
moseby.
I am piloting my own life by taking a night school class 3 times a week.
I am going to loose my accent.
Loose? I better make that Mr.
moseby, I'm gonna need the weekend off.
Oh, let me guess.
You're gonna pilot your own life, hmm? Yes! I need to work on my demo cd.
Thank you for understanding.
Mmm.
Fine.
Go, go, go! It's no problem.
I'll just clean all the rooms and carry the luggage and sing in a slinky cocktail dress.
I'm kidding! It's a very tasteful cocktail dress.
Ohh! I can't believe I stayed up 3 days and nights finishing this outfit.
I hope the teen trend lady likes it.
I'm sure you'll do fine.
"I'm sure you'll do fine.
" What do you know? See? This is why sleep is a good thing.
Do you really like my outfit? You really think I'm gonna win? Remember, London, if you can conceive, you can believe, and you will-- I hate that expression! [Gasps.]
[Gasps.]
Hey, you stole my look! Stole? I made your lousy look better.
If it's so lousy, why'd you steal it? Because if they liked it on you, they'll love it on me.
Besides, there are a lot of differences between our outfits, like the fact yours is made out of cheap fabric.
[Gasps.]
See? Must be fake cotton, not the real stuff they get from goats.
Well, the only thing that's fake is you! [Gasps.]
[Gasps.]
Oh, no, you didn't.
Oh, yes, I di-id.
Give me that! No! It's mine! I don't care! It's my hair! I paid for it! Ok, fine.
[Gasps.]
Ohh! Fashion tip? No one wears heels like this anymore.
And no one's worn cuffs like these since the French revolution! [Gasps.]
Waaah-eee-ahh Oh, wait, I don't know kung fu.
Oh, but I love your shoes.
Oh, really? Nope! Ohh! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow This is terrible.
We have to stop them! Not yet.
[Gasps.]
Oh, I can't see! Aah! Aah! You're right, Zack.
This would be much better with pudding.
Aah! Let go, let go, let go! Let go, let go, let go! I'm not letting go till you let go.
Fine.
On the count of 3.
That comes after 2.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Aah! Aah! Ladies, the fight is over! [Ding.]
Now, go to your neutral elevators! Ohh! [Clothes ripping.]
Mr.
moseby: Not the tie! Not the shirt! Not the nameplate! [Panting.]
Aah! [Panting.]
Aah! Oh, my! My jacket! [Panting.]
Excuse me, have you seen maddie and London? Hi! Hello! Interesting look.
So, whose do you like better? Not sure.
We'll get back to you.
She meant me.
Oh, no, she didn't.
Oh, yes, she di-id.
Gah! It does-uh-n't ma-a-tter! Now, what has gotten into you two? It's all her fault! She has everything in the world, and she still had to steal from me.
I'm just taking back what's rightfully mine.
My look is the only thing I've got.
You've got a gajillion dollars! That's my dad's.
Fashion is the only thing that's mine, and you took that from me.
Oh, London Hey, maddie, we can t-- Mr.
moseby, don't be mad at them.
They were just following my advice and trying to pilot their own lives.
You You are the flight instructor who has been causing my employees to shirk their responsibilities.
Their responsibilities are to themselves.
I've been helping them fulfill their dreams.
[Southern accent.]
There y'all are.
Cody, I got a bone to pick with you.
Esteban? Why are you talking like that? 'Cause my new instructor jeb is from Texas.
Now if I wanna pilot my own life, I gotta do it at a rodeo.
Yee-haw! Thank y'all.
Ok, so I've made a couple of mistakes.
That doesn't mean my life coaching doesn't work.
Mom, please tell me everything went ok with your demo cd.
Oh, yeah.
The guy at the record company said I was really talented and have a future as a cabaret singer.
He suggested I check out the tipton.
Apparently, I just spent $500 to find out I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be! Well, you may be the first motivational speaker to lose his allowance.
Oh, well.
At least I know I'll get a better community service grade than Zack.
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
Mr.
moseby let me take all the buffet leftovers to the mission.
The mayor was there, and he's giving me an award for helping the homeless.
You?! An award? You can't even spell "award"! Don't have to.
It'll be on the plaque.
Who's getting an "a" in community service now, huh? I hate that kid.
[Sighs.]
Look how pretty I am in that outfit.
[Knock on door.]
Ow, ow, ow.
If you came up here to tear up the rest of my clothes, good luck it'll take you 6 weeks, and that's just my tennis outfits.
Actually, I came up here to apologize.
I didn't realize how important being on this cover was to you.
Yeah, you did.
Ok, I did.
But since you have everything, I just kind of figured it wouldn't matter that much to you.
Well, you were wrong, with a capital "r.
" I know, and I'm sorry.
Thanks.
[Sighs.]
I'm sorry I stole your blue-collar cheap look.
You mean chic.
No.
Well, I've always thought you had style.
Aww! To make this apology thing end, do I have to lie and say you have style, too? Yes.
I think you have style, too.
Thank you for lying.
Ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow! Other side.
Ow, ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow! Much worse.
Air hug? [Laughs.]
Can you believe this? "The latest fashion among teen girls is being called urban decay.
" Ok, I've seen some ridiculous fashions before, but teen trend's gone too far this time.
Like anyone would be stupid enough to wear ripped clothing.
What do you think, ladies? Hot stuff, huh? Chhhh! [Both laughing.]
Chhhh!