True Jackson, VP (2008) s01e23 Episode Script

True Jackson VP Was filmed in front Of a live studio audience.
And the winner For best design On a Tuesday afternoon Goes to True Jackson.
Whoo-hoo.
I gotta tell y'all, The sixth tuesie feels Just as sweet as the first.
I'd like to thank My mom and dad, Ryan, Oscar, Lulu, Amanda, And of course, you, Mr.
Madigan.
I'm the queen of the world.
Oh, you want me to get up So all of your awards Can have a seat? No, it's okay, I like to look at them All lined up.
And for our last tuesie, The award For most improved performance On a Tuesday goes to Kopelman.
Wait a second.
There appears To be some mistake.
The tuesie actually goes To this guy.
Congratulations To all the winners.
Oh, and one last announcement, This morning, We'll be welcoming a new member To the mad style family.
Suzie from marketing Had her baby? No, it turns out She wasn't pregnant.
She was actually smuggling Her dog into work each day.
I knew That wasn't her stomach Growling in the elevator.
By new family member, I'm referring to Jasper Peacock, A dynamic High School senior I met down at happyberry.
Yay.
Another kid in the office.
Oh, delightful.
Maybe we'll put a bouncy house In the reception area.
Relax, Amanda.
I'm not making young Jasper A vice president.
He'll just be an unpaid intern, Like True's friend Ryan.
Ryan's an intern? I think so.
I know he's on the company Softball team.
Amanda, be a dear And give him his tuesie When you see him.
Think the new intern's Gonna be cute? Lulu, he's going To be working here.
This is A professional environment.
No luck finding his photo On the Internet? Nope.
But I did find a picture Of a sparrow With an entire Turkey leg In his mouth.
So, you're okay With Mr.
Madigan Hiring another kid? Of course I am.
What are you implying? Be honest, True.
Aren't you a little jealous That Mr.
M has a new discovery? No way.
I'm not the jealous type.
Besides, it'll be awesome To have another kid In the office.
True, Lulu, You guys are never going To belie Although, maybe one less kid Around here Wouldn't be the worst thing.
Hey, whose toy car is this? Yours.
Well, would you please Make sure I don't leave it On the ground again.
Ryan, what's up with you? You seem more hysterical Than usual.
Yeah, that's because I had The craziest experience This morning.
It was absolutely terrifying.
I think you'll find This final exam fair But challenging.
If you've paid attention All semester, You should do fine.
Final exam? But I haven't been to class All semester.
I can still hear their laughter.
Ryan, relax, that's actually A very common nightmare.
It wasn't a nightmare.
It just happened an hour ago In Mr.
Merrill's history class.
You're in summer school? I'm as surprised as you are.
Apparently, I was supposed To repeat U.
S.
History Over the summer.
And aside From the daily phone calls To my house, no one told me Anything about it.
Okay, but why were you In your underwear? My pants were in the laundry.
All of 'em? What do you mean all of 'em? Who needs more than one pair Of pants? What am I, the mayor? So, how'd you do on the exam? I didn't take it.
I got Mr.
Merrill to agree To let me take a make-up test So I'd have a chance to study.
Oh, that's good.
When's your make-up? Today at 4:00.
You mean you have six hours To learn an entire semester Of history? Yup.
And it's not going to be easy.
I hate to be in your shoes.
Why? Because you're going To tutor me.
No way.
But why not? Because I tutored you Last year in math.
It was horrible.
You're the most Easily distracted person I've ever met.
That is completely un Hey, that guy's got a mop.
You know, You're totally right about him Being easily distracted.
Who? Ryan.
Oh, sorry, I just can't stop thinking About that mop.
Want to go look? Sure.
Ah, you're here.
Excellent.
Jasper the intern Is just about to arrive And I want to make sure He gets a proper Mad style greeting.
Wow, Mr.
Madigan, I haven't seen you so excited About a new employee Since, well, me.
No one will ever compare To you, True.
But there is something About this young man.
Really, what is it? I don't know.
I guess you could say I just see something of myself In him.
Welcome to mad style, Jasper.
Ha-ha, ha-ha! Ha ha ha.
Good to be here.
Ha-ha, ha-ha! Ha ha ha.
Boy, it's a good thing You're not the jealous type.
Heh heh heh.
It's a good thing, all right.
from my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p workin' at a grown-up job I never really knew I could work this hard used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new VP I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we just messin' around and we making new grounds for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's goin' down 'cause I'm the new VP thanks again for offering me This internship, Max.
It's okay that I call you Max? Of course, Jasper.
Actually, I'd prefer Mr.
Peacock.
Kidding.
Marvelous.
Yikes.
Mr.
M loves that guy.
What are you gonna do about it? Stop creating drama, Lulu.
It's all good.
Hi, I'm True Jackson.
Greetings, True.
True is A very talented designer, Jasper.
You could learn a lot from her.
In fact, Maybe you should follow her Around today.
You're the boss, m.
M.
Lead the way, True.
I'm ready to follow.
You better stay close, Jasper.
One time I led my family On a hike And my dad got so lost.
My mom was all, "shoot the flare, Larry.
" she has A very colorful family.
Tell me about it.
Last time we went hiking, My dad got a cramp And my mom was all, "walk it off, Barry.
"our tuna fish "is gonna get eaten By that goat.
" Whatcha workin' on, yo? Just a design For a back-to-school line.
It's kind of an updated Private school uniform.
Where'd you get that idea? I thought it up.
Right.
So pretty sweet setup You've got here.
I'll say.
Have you tried the popcorn? They make it fresh Every morning.
Come on, You can drop the act.
It's just the two of us.
What act? A 15-year-old Fashion designer? I gotta admit, It's a pretty original con.
I thought I was good.
It's not a con.
I really am A 15-year-old fashion designer.
Alright, chill.
It's cool, yo.
I'm not gonna tell on you.
Well, I'm gonna tell on you.
You guys.
Is something wrong? Something is very wrong.
Very, very wrong.
Jasper the intern Is a total con man.
What? Nothing.
I saw you two Looking at each other.
No, we didn't.
You did it again.
It's just, We had a feeling you'd I don't know how to say this.
I do.
We predicted you'd be jealous That the new hotshot Was stealing your thunder.
What? I'm not jealous.
I'm telling you straight up.
Jasper is pretending To be into fashion In order to con Mr.
Madigan.
Con him how? Well, out of money, I guess.
As an unpaid intern? True, You don't need to worry.
You're doing a great job.
Nothing Jasper does Is going to take away from that.
You don't need to be jealous.
I'm not jealous.
Stop looking at each other.
Okay, who was the general Of the confederate army During the civil war? Which civil war Are we talking about? The American civil war.
And which American civil war Are we talking about? The only one.
From 1861 to 1865.
Right, that civil war.
I have no idea.
Come on, you know this.
I know I do.
It's on the tip of my tongue.
My brain just doesn't work Fast enough.
Sure it does.
You always get every question When we watch just the facts.
That's because game shows Are fun.
Studying can be fun too.
Nerd alert.
Failing summer school.
Ryan, just pretend You're on a game show.
That's ridiculous.
I'm studying for a boring test, Not competing For valuable prizes In a Game show.
Hello and welcome To just the facts.
I'm your host, Burt Burlington.
And today's fact-testant Is the dashing Ryan Laserbeam.
Pleasure to be here, Burt.
Before we begin, Let's learn something About our guest.
Ryan, it says here You're eight years old.
Emotionally, Burt.
All right, let's begin.
Who was The confederate general of the fact is Robert e.
Lee.
Correct.
That's my middle name.
I'm kidding, it's Leslie.
Ryan? Ryan? Ryan! Stop spacing out.
Do you know the answer or not? The fact is Robert e.
Lee.
Ah, True, there you are.
Hey, Mr.
Madigan.
Just working On my back-to-school design.
Well, I have good news For you.
You don't need to anymore.
Really? Why? Jasper just pitched me The most positively inspired Concept for our line.
Oh, Max, stop.
You're going to make me blush.
He did, did he? What's his concept? It's an updated version Of a private school uniform.
You said what now? So I've decided To make Jasper mad style's Newest vice president.
You said what now? And until we can find him A suitable Vice president's office, I figured you two Could share your office.
You said what now?! Didn't take you long To move your desk in, huh.
Oh no, this one's yours.
I'll be taking the big one.
Yeah, you're good At taking things That don't belong to you.
Well, joke's on you, I actually like it.
Ow.
So, how old are you really? I'm 15.
And I'm not talking to you.
Oh, come on, yo.
It's all good.
It's not all good.
It's all bad.
And stop saying yo.
Nobody says yo anymore.
Look, True, you gotta stop Being so selfish.
You did not just say that.
This place is a gold mine.
It's not fair keeping it all For yourself.
You wanna know What's not fair? I've lived with that Back-to-school design For two solid weeks.
Then after a hundred hours Of drawing and redrawing, I saw my design on paper And you stole it.
You're nothing but a phony.
Girl, you're trippin'.
Call it whatever you want, I'm just keeping it Amanda, hello.
Max just told me about your Back-to-school concept, Jasper.
Inspired.
Why, thank you.
Boy, you are a charmer, Aren't you? Guilty as charged.
Oh.
[laughs, snorts.]
I can't take this.
Oscar, have you seen Lulu? Break room.
I gotta tell you guys, That Jasper character Is a real What's with him? He's studying.
He is? For a thousand fact units, The first 10 amendments To the U.
S.
Constitution Are also known by this name.
We are talking About the amendments That came into effect On December 15, 1791, right? Of course we are.
The fact is the bill of rights.
Boom goes the dynamite.
Ryan, I know this might sound A little unusual, Would you mind signing this For my mother? Sorry, Burt.
If I do it for you, I've gotta do it for everyone.
I make no apologies.
Oh, hey, True.
You guys, I'm in big trouble.
Jasper stole my idea And presented it to Mr.
Madigan As his own.
What a jerk.
What am I gonna do? I've got this one.
We grind up His three least favorite foods And bake them into A delicious-log cupcake.
He'll take one bite and whammo! It's the worst tasting cupcake Of his life.
Okay, next idea.
Now, mind you, It will require time travel allow me.
Who was our 16th president? We have 30 seconds.
What should I do? Everybody thinks I'm jealous.
You need to tell Mr.
Madigan.
You think? Absolutely.
Just don't mention Being jealous of Jasper.
I'm not jealous.
Whoa, that was Very believable.
The fact is Lincoln.
There you are, Jasper.
Ready to go to finique? They make a wonderful Garden salad That they wrap in bacon, Deep-fry and put on top Of a six-pound steak.
Decadent.
Hey, Oscar.
Oh, hi, True.
Good news, the tiny chair For your tiny desk Should be in this afternoon.
Great, thanks.
Have you seen Mr.
Madigan? He went to finique With Jasper.
What? Hey, Amanda, What are Mr.
Madigan and Jasper Doing at finique? It's the weekly Strategy lunch.
Wait, I usually go to that.
Well, looks like You've been jaspered.
I can't believe this.
Man, Jasper's a total fake.
He stole my design.
What are you gonna do? March down to finique And tell Max? Yes.
No.
No? True, when I was In fashion school, My best friend was Diego Tovar We were both finalists For the young Designers' showcase.
Tovar presented first, And the dress he presented Was my design.
Oh my gosh, what did you do? I did what anyone would do.
I tackled him, Yanked off his toupee And yelled "thief" Until security forcibly Removed me from the building.
He got what he deserved.
Yes, he didn't win The showcase.
But we were both disqualified.
That's not fair.
Take it from me, A lot of things in life Aren't fair.
I jaspered you, didn't I? Before you got here, I used to go To those strategy lunches.
Right.
At least it worked out for us That we became Super good friends.
Yeah, that's so much better Than actual success.
Okay, Ryan, We can go through the charade Of you taking this exam Or I could give you an "f" now And we could still enjoy Part of our day.
Well, I appreciate Your confidence, Mr.
Merrill.
What do you say we make this A little interesting? Okay, if I get 100% on the test, You give me your watch.
And if you don't? I'll become your Butler For a year.
I hope you like Polishing silverware.
See you on the other side.
So after one Of the most incredible displays Since the dawn of human thought, We now prepare To enter the lightning round.
Are you ready, Ryan? I was born ready.
And in a cab.
Timekeeper, Give me 10 seconds on the clock.
Timekeeper start now.
What year was the gettysburg the fact is 1863.
Who was the youngest the fact is John f.
Kennedy.
What is the fact Is Louisiana purchase.
Wh the fact is rosa parks.
The fact is 1492.
The fact is "one if by land, Two if by sea.
" we are in the presence Of greatness, people.
If I live to be a million, It will only be because Ryan Has invented the antidote For death.
Ryan, Ryan, Ryan! Ryan, Ryan, Ryan! Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.
Oh, hey, Mr.
Merrill.
You've been Staring into space While your hand's been Jotting down answers.
It's giving me the creeps.
Here you go.
I'll save you the trouble Of checking it, it's 100%.
And if I know my grades, That is a solid b-minus.
Extraordinary.
I'll take that watch now, Guy.
Thanks for hooking me up With that design.
Max is gonna be all "oh, no, you didn't.
" yeah, maybe because You actually "didn't.
" come on, girl.
Why ya hatin'? Good afternoon, all.
So sorry to keep you waiting.
Come in, come in.
We're just about to unveil Your back-to-school design.
The floor is yours, Jasper.
Genius is an overused word, Except in this case.
I humbly present to you The incredible, amazing Jasper Peacock Back-to-school line.
Hmm, magnificent.
I aim to please.
And truth be told, I have exceptional aim.
I love these buttons.
Where did you come up With such a bold choice? Uh, who's to say? When it comes to my craft, It's not about the process.
All that matters Is the finished product.
Agreed.
And this finished product, You came up with it All by yourself? Max, I believe In giving credit Where credit is due.
And I can honestly say That this design is all mine.
Well, then, There's no question about it.
Jasper Peacock, you are A big, fat liar.
Good one, Max.
Always with the zingers.
I'm not joking.
I know a stolen design When I see it.
Amanda, can you believe What we are hearing? Of all the insufferable insults.
Can it, junior.
The jig is up.
Well, I never Kopelman, tell Max That's my design.
I got some yummy Taffy.
Let's settle this The civilized way.
Jasper, you run.
Everyone else Chase him.
All right, Mr.
Madigan, How did you know? A designer's work Is like a fingerprint.
Each person Has their own unique style, Something that only They could have come up with.
The lining? The lining.
When I saw That whimsical pattern, I knew it was yours.
Look, True, I'm sorry.
I got caught up In Jasper's lies.
Can you ever forgive me? Yes.
On one condition.
What's that? You invite All the vice presidents To the next strategy lunch.
You've got a deal.
Now let's go see What they've done to Jasper.
Oh my gosh, Jasper.
They've torn him Limb from limb.
No, this is one Of the new mannequin arms For your approval.
Remember, you wanted A more realistic elbow? Well, you had me fooled.
Approved.
Ryan, I heard You aced the exam.
You knows it.
It's been a long, hard semester.
I'm just glad it's finally over.
It was one day.
Yup.
Do you know how many minutes You put popcorn In the microwave for? How many minutes Do you put popcorn In the microwave for? Popcorn? You're bothering me for popcorn? It's a question.
You ask me a question And I answer it, That's how it works.
Don't tell me how it works.
I'll pop your head like a grape.
You can't threaten me, It's my fantasy.
Oh, so sorry.
Here, please accept This lovely parting gift.
All right, I command you To put that axe down, okay? Now go get me some real prizes, Like a year's supply of rice.
Oh, you won't need A year's supply of anything.
Prepare to die.