A.N.T. Farm (2011) s01e24 Episode Script
Ballet dANTser
Hey, Chyna, would you like to pose for a painting? I'll do it! I've been looking to get back into modeling since I gave it up two years ago.
I got way too deep into the Milan party scene.
Guys! Guys! Guys! Someone saw a football player asking directions to the Ant Farm! Everyone into the panic room! Big kid coming! This is not a drill! Move, move, move! Angus, what are you doing? Oiling up for my modeling gig.
Do you want shirt on or shirt off? Shirt on! Great! Now we're all doomed! Might as well make these last few seconds count.
No.
Guys! Huh? That dude is so tiny.
That dude isn't a dude, dude.
Hi, I'm Violet.
I'm starting the A.
N.
T.
Program today.
Hi! I didn't know we were getting a new Ant.
What's your talent? Name it.
Football, basketball, baseball, lacrosse, ice hockey.
I also used to do a little ultimate fighting before they added all these "rules" about "safety.
" You don't look much like a football player.
Oh, yeah? Hold this.
Watch how I kick.
Don't ever question my football skills again! Okay! Okay.
Did she say her name was Violet, or Violent? Ooh, ooh Doo, doo Ooh, ooh Doo, doo Whoo! Everybody's got that thing Something different we all bring Don't you let 'em clip your wings You got it You got it We're on fire and we blaze In extraordinary ways 365 days We got it We got it You can dream it You can be it If you can feel it You can believe it 'Cause I am, you are, we are Exceptional Exceptjonal Yeah, I am, you are, we are Exceptional Exceptional Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh Whoo! I'm so excited about Driver's Ed.
When's Ed going to get here? Do you think he's related to Phys Ed? I can't wait to get my driver's license.
I'll finally be able to drive like a real grown-up! re.
Attention, everyone, officer Darryl Parks.
Police.
Dad? Yeah.
What are you doing here? Teaching Driver's Ed.
Because of budget cuts, parents volunteer.
ng.
Right now, the baseball field.
ng.
All right, so, what kind of rides we got? Convertibles with souped-up engines? Better.
Dad, I'm gonna look stupid driving to the toy store in one of these! Sorry, the school can't afford real cars.
They can't even afford a real clock.
Oh! Hey, Violet, you want us to pull up a seat? Oh, that's okay.
I'll sit over there.
What? No, no, no.
You do not want to do that.
That's the big kids' table! So? So, one time, Fletcher tried to just borrow their salt and pepper Yeah, and what happened? Where's the salt? You don't want to know.
Anyway, lately things between the Ants and the big kids have been surprisingly calm.
So just try not to provoke them, especially Lexi Reed.
That's "her seat.
" Oh, I get it.
Oh, good.
You guys are too gutless to stand up for yourselves.
Well, I'm going to sit where I want.
And if Lexi messes with me, I'll slap the spray tan right off of her.
What do you think you're doing? What does it look like, blondie? Eating my lunch.
Um, why are you making eycontact with me? You don't even have an eye contact permission request.
Look, you better move along or you'll be making eye contact with my fist! Chyna, do something.
Here, Lexi, let me pack up your lunch to go.
You got hummus in my purse! Actually, it looks like baba ghanoush.
Mmm-hmm, I taste the eggplant.
Hey, Lexi.
I see you've met Violet.
She's a spunky one, isn't she? What is her problem? Well, it's her fir Wait, here's my eye contact permission request.
Thank you.
It's her first day.
So just give her a chance.
Look, I need no distractions, because this is a big week for me.
As you well know, I'm dancing the lead in the ballet recital this Friday.
I did not know that.
Didn't see it in my newsletter, The Lexi Reed-All-About-It? Oh, sorry I forgot to submit my subscription renewal.
Oh! Thank you.
Anyway, from now on, you are personally responsible for keeping her away from me.
Why me? Because for some reason, the other Ants look up to you.
So keep that animal under control, because I have a mean side and you guys do not want to see it.
We haven't seen it? We have to do something about Lexi and Violet.
Lexi's the queen bee of the big kids, and if you mess with the queen bee, she's going to send the whole hive after us.
Actually, interesting factoid The queen bee does not directly control the hive.
In fact, when her pheromone production diminishes, the worker bees cuddle her to death.
My grandma Dottie almost did the same thing to me.
Well, we're never going to change Lexi.
But maybe we can find a way to calm Violet down.
You know what always calms me down? Art.
My aroma therapist, Art Strickler.
Wait, what about actual art? We could use our talents.
You could try art, I could try music, and Olive can lull her to sleep with interesting factoids.
Actually, interesting factoid about interesting factoids See? Isn't this relaxing? By the way, that's a beautiful horse.
This is a picture of my grandmother! Are you saying my grandmother looks like a horse? No.
Then you're saying I'm a bad painter? No! Then what are you saying? Art, clear your schedule.
I'm going to need all of Wednesday.
Listen to this song, Violet.
It's been known to charm deadly cobras.
Can I see that? Of course! I hate the flute.
She turned my flute into a triangle.
That's the The only instrument I don't know how to play.
Hi, Violet! Would you like to help me with this crossword puzzle? It's very calming.
Sure, Olive.
That sounds like a new and fun challenge.
Okay, let's just put away your knife shoes.
All right, I'm looking for a six-letter word, that begins with S and ends in I-D, and means "Lacking in intelligence.
" Hmm, I'm not sure.
Stupid! Who are you calling stupid? Oh, no, no, no, it's just the answer to the clue.
"Stupid.
" Are you calling me stupid again? No, don't be stupid Okay that time I did call you stupid.
I want you to be careful with these cars.
They belong to my four-year-old niece, Ashley, and she's already had three accidents in them.
Two poops and a pee.
Remember, don't go too fast, and watch out for pedestrians.
Ooh! My dad is a pedestrian! And my mom is a Capricorn.
You know what? Let's practice braking.
Ooh! I'm really good at breaking.
Check this out.
That's not how you brake.
This is how you break.
Hey! Well, everyone's different.
Maybe exercise calms Violet down.
I'm off to ballet.
Ballet? She's taking ballet? Lexi's in ballet.
What are we going to do? I don't want to interrupt here, but my shoe is filling with blood.
Violet, are you sure you want to take ballet? Actually, a lot of football players take ballet.
It really improves balance.
My coach says I'm a little unstable.
I bet a lot of people say that.
What are we going to do? Violet is headed straight into the middle of a hornets' nest! Fletcher, keep your metaphors straight.
Is Lexi a queen bee or a hornet? They're very different.
Like hornets can sting multiple times, while bees Wow, I actually just bored myself.
Look.
We just need to figure out a way to keep Violet from provoking Lexi during dance.
How are we going to do that? None of us take ballet.
Oh, no.
Uh, you know, Fletcher, boys don't wear tutus.
Man! You couldn't have told me that before I went into the dressing room? Next thing you're going to tell me is that I don't need my hair in this bun.
Hey, guys! Angus, what are you doing here? I've been in ballet for years.
Where else can I be in a room with a bunch of babes in tights? Plus, I'm awesome.
Scoot over, blondie.
I want to get some pull ups in before rehearsal.
Chyna! I told you to keep that little sociopath away from me.
Excuse me, I'm standing right here.
I was talking about Violet.
Look, this ballet recital is my moment to shine, and if you or that maniac Violet ruin this for me, I will Aw! I look so pretty! Oh.
Sorry, my beauty distracted me from finishing my threat.
Look.
Don't worry.
I'm all over this.
You won't even know Violet's here.
All right! Who's ready to play some ballet? Let's win this thing! No pain, no gain! Chyna! Oh, look! Who's that beautiful girl in the mirror? Aw, pretty! Is there a problem, Officer? You did not come to a full stop near the water fountain.
I'm so sorry! I'm just having one of those days.
My orange juice this morning had pulp in it, and my cereal had milk in it, and All right, all right, all right, all right, stop crying.
I'll let you off with a warning.
Thank you! Stop! You were doing five in a two-and-a-half.
I'm so sorry! I was Doing that thing that Paisley said she was doing! Stop crying and be a man! All right, fine.
Give me your fake ticket.
Oh, this isn't fake.
The school is raising money to buy a clock.
What are you looking at? You've never seen a lily pad before? This is it.
The end of the road.
Wait, I have an idea.
I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner.
We quit school and get married? Ooh, can I be a bridesmaid? How would that even help us? Married people live longer.
Statistically, he's correct.
We're not getting married! I'm just going to go try and reason with her.
Tell her violence isn't the answer.
Boy, my fiancee comes up with the craziest plans.
Hey, I was wondering if I could ask you a question.
Sure.
You-seem-really-tightly-wound- and-we-were-wondering If-you-could-possibly- chill-out-a-little- please-don't-hit-me.
Look, I I'd love to chill out, but I can't.
You probably haven't noticed, but I have slight anger issues.
Oh, really? I hadn't noticed at all.
What are you so angry about? You want to know what I'm angry about? Yes.
You want to know what I'm angry about? A little less so, but okay.
I'll tell you what I'm angry about! Well, I have a crush on this super cute boy.
I really "like him" like him, but I'm not sure if he "likes me" likes me.
I don't know who it is, but I'm sure he "fears you" fears you.
I don't know why I just said that.
Go on.
If you tell anyone, I'll tear out your tongue and slap you with it! But it's Fletcher.
He's so cute! Hold off.
Fletcher? Fletcher Quimby? The only guy I know who actually owns a loom? Yes.
He's so sensitive.
And not knowing how he feels about me makes me so angry! If he liked me, I would be the happiest girl on the football team.
Happy? You'd be happy? No, he does not like you.
He loves you.
He "loves you" loves you.
I love you, too, Fletcher! What? Fletcher, tell her how much you love her.
Can't Breathe See? You take his breath away.
This is Grandma Dottie all over again.
Hey, babe.
Prepare to taste burnt plastic.
Hey! You just ran a red light! Try to catch me, copper! Man, I wish this thing had a siren.
While you guys are racing, I'm going to listen to my stereo! Look at Lexi and Violet on the same stage, dancing together so peacefully.
Good work, Chyna! Well, what can I say? I'm a problem solver.
Now this next part makes no sense to me.
When the swan presents her prince with the egg, he thanks her with a kiss.
I would much prefer a cheeses-of-the-world basket.
There is no way I'm letting my man kiss that pathetic piece of poultry! What are you doing? I'm giving this to Fletcher.
Oh, no.
Give me that egg! No.
Fletchie, I'm ready for my kiss.
Catch! Ooh, interception! Ha! Nice try! Fumble! Here, Angus! Pass it to me! No! To me! Angus hands off to Olive.
I don't want it! And she laterals to Chyna! Come on, lily pads! All out blitz! Let's go, swans! Let's get them! Okay, wait.
Guys.
Guys! Timeout! Timeout! There are no timeouts remaining! This game is coming down to the wire! All right.
Down, set.
Do what they're doing! Hut one, hut two, and Yikes! Chyna going down to the ten, to the five! She could go all the way! Come on! This was supposed to be my moment! Oh, good.
Ballet parking.
Lexi, I'm really sorry about what happened, so I got you a present.
If you think a present is going to make up for Aw! Pretty Ooh! Olive! Hi! Have you seen my little Fletchie? Uhh No.
I haven't seen him.
Do not make me get my knife shoes He's in the panic room.
I got way too deep into the Milan party scene.
Guys! Guys! Guys! Someone saw a football player asking directions to the Ant Farm! Everyone into the panic room! Big kid coming! This is not a drill! Move, move, move! Angus, what are you doing? Oiling up for my modeling gig.
Do you want shirt on or shirt off? Shirt on! Great! Now we're all doomed! Might as well make these last few seconds count.
No.
Guys! Huh? That dude is so tiny.
That dude isn't a dude, dude.
Hi, I'm Violet.
I'm starting the A.
N.
T.
Program today.
Hi! I didn't know we were getting a new Ant.
What's your talent? Name it.
Football, basketball, baseball, lacrosse, ice hockey.
I also used to do a little ultimate fighting before they added all these "rules" about "safety.
" You don't look much like a football player.
Oh, yeah? Hold this.
Watch how I kick.
Don't ever question my football skills again! Okay! Okay.
Did she say her name was Violet, or Violent? Ooh, ooh Doo, doo Ooh, ooh Doo, doo Whoo! Everybody's got that thing Something different we all bring Don't you let 'em clip your wings You got it You got it We're on fire and we blaze In extraordinary ways 365 days We got it We got it You can dream it You can be it If you can feel it You can believe it 'Cause I am, you are, we are Exceptional Exceptjonal Yeah, I am, you are, we are Exceptional Exceptional Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh Whoo! I'm so excited about Driver's Ed.
When's Ed going to get here? Do you think he's related to Phys Ed? I can't wait to get my driver's license.
I'll finally be able to drive like a real grown-up! re.
Attention, everyone, officer Darryl Parks.
Police.
Dad? Yeah.
What are you doing here? Teaching Driver's Ed.
Because of budget cuts, parents volunteer.
ng.
Right now, the baseball field.
ng.
All right, so, what kind of rides we got? Convertibles with souped-up engines? Better.
Dad, I'm gonna look stupid driving to the toy store in one of these! Sorry, the school can't afford real cars.
They can't even afford a real clock.
Oh! Hey, Violet, you want us to pull up a seat? Oh, that's okay.
I'll sit over there.
What? No, no, no.
You do not want to do that.
That's the big kids' table! So? So, one time, Fletcher tried to just borrow their salt and pepper Yeah, and what happened? Where's the salt? You don't want to know.
Anyway, lately things between the Ants and the big kids have been surprisingly calm.
So just try not to provoke them, especially Lexi Reed.
That's "her seat.
" Oh, I get it.
Oh, good.
You guys are too gutless to stand up for yourselves.
Well, I'm going to sit where I want.
And if Lexi messes with me, I'll slap the spray tan right off of her.
What do you think you're doing? What does it look like, blondie? Eating my lunch.
Um, why are you making eycontact with me? You don't even have an eye contact permission request.
Look, you better move along or you'll be making eye contact with my fist! Chyna, do something.
Here, Lexi, let me pack up your lunch to go.
You got hummus in my purse! Actually, it looks like baba ghanoush.
Mmm-hmm, I taste the eggplant.
Hey, Lexi.
I see you've met Violet.
She's a spunky one, isn't she? What is her problem? Well, it's her fir Wait, here's my eye contact permission request.
Thank you.
It's her first day.
So just give her a chance.
Look, I need no distractions, because this is a big week for me.
As you well know, I'm dancing the lead in the ballet recital this Friday.
I did not know that.
Didn't see it in my newsletter, The Lexi Reed-All-About-It? Oh, sorry I forgot to submit my subscription renewal.
Oh! Thank you.
Anyway, from now on, you are personally responsible for keeping her away from me.
Why me? Because for some reason, the other Ants look up to you.
So keep that animal under control, because I have a mean side and you guys do not want to see it.
We haven't seen it? We have to do something about Lexi and Violet.
Lexi's the queen bee of the big kids, and if you mess with the queen bee, she's going to send the whole hive after us.
Actually, interesting factoid The queen bee does not directly control the hive.
In fact, when her pheromone production diminishes, the worker bees cuddle her to death.
My grandma Dottie almost did the same thing to me.
Well, we're never going to change Lexi.
But maybe we can find a way to calm Violet down.
You know what always calms me down? Art.
My aroma therapist, Art Strickler.
Wait, what about actual art? We could use our talents.
You could try art, I could try music, and Olive can lull her to sleep with interesting factoids.
Actually, interesting factoid about interesting factoids See? Isn't this relaxing? By the way, that's a beautiful horse.
This is a picture of my grandmother! Are you saying my grandmother looks like a horse? No.
Then you're saying I'm a bad painter? No! Then what are you saying? Art, clear your schedule.
I'm going to need all of Wednesday.
Listen to this song, Violet.
It's been known to charm deadly cobras.
Can I see that? Of course! I hate the flute.
She turned my flute into a triangle.
That's the The only instrument I don't know how to play.
Hi, Violet! Would you like to help me with this crossword puzzle? It's very calming.
Sure, Olive.
That sounds like a new and fun challenge.
Okay, let's just put away your knife shoes.
All right, I'm looking for a six-letter word, that begins with S and ends in I-D, and means "Lacking in intelligence.
" Hmm, I'm not sure.
Stupid! Who are you calling stupid? Oh, no, no, no, it's just the answer to the clue.
"Stupid.
" Are you calling me stupid again? No, don't be stupid Okay that time I did call you stupid.
I want you to be careful with these cars.
They belong to my four-year-old niece, Ashley, and she's already had three accidents in them.
Two poops and a pee.
Remember, don't go too fast, and watch out for pedestrians.
Ooh! My dad is a pedestrian! And my mom is a Capricorn.
You know what? Let's practice braking.
Ooh! I'm really good at breaking.
Check this out.
That's not how you brake.
This is how you break.
Hey! Well, everyone's different.
Maybe exercise calms Violet down.
I'm off to ballet.
Ballet? She's taking ballet? Lexi's in ballet.
What are we going to do? I don't want to interrupt here, but my shoe is filling with blood.
Violet, are you sure you want to take ballet? Actually, a lot of football players take ballet.
It really improves balance.
My coach says I'm a little unstable.
I bet a lot of people say that.
What are we going to do? Violet is headed straight into the middle of a hornets' nest! Fletcher, keep your metaphors straight.
Is Lexi a queen bee or a hornet? They're very different.
Like hornets can sting multiple times, while bees Wow, I actually just bored myself.
Look.
We just need to figure out a way to keep Violet from provoking Lexi during dance.
How are we going to do that? None of us take ballet.
Oh, no.
Uh, you know, Fletcher, boys don't wear tutus.
Man! You couldn't have told me that before I went into the dressing room? Next thing you're going to tell me is that I don't need my hair in this bun.
Hey, guys! Angus, what are you doing here? I've been in ballet for years.
Where else can I be in a room with a bunch of babes in tights? Plus, I'm awesome.
Scoot over, blondie.
I want to get some pull ups in before rehearsal.
Chyna! I told you to keep that little sociopath away from me.
Excuse me, I'm standing right here.
I was talking about Violet.
Look, this ballet recital is my moment to shine, and if you or that maniac Violet ruin this for me, I will Aw! I look so pretty! Oh.
Sorry, my beauty distracted me from finishing my threat.
Look.
Don't worry.
I'm all over this.
You won't even know Violet's here.
All right! Who's ready to play some ballet? Let's win this thing! No pain, no gain! Chyna! Oh, look! Who's that beautiful girl in the mirror? Aw, pretty! Is there a problem, Officer? You did not come to a full stop near the water fountain.
I'm so sorry! I'm just having one of those days.
My orange juice this morning had pulp in it, and my cereal had milk in it, and All right, all right, all right, all right, stop crying.
I'll let you off with a warning.
Thank you! Stop! You were doing five in a two-and-a-half.
I'm so sorry! I was Doing that thing that Paisley said she was doing! Stop crying and be a man! All right, fine.
Give me your fake ticket.
Oh, this isn't fake.
The school is raising money to buy a clock.
What are you looking at? You've never seen a lily pad before? This is it.
The end of the road.
Wait, I have an idea.
I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner.
We quit school and get married? Ooh, can I be a bridesmaid? How would that even help us? Married people live longer.
Statistically, he's correct.
We're not getting married! I'm just going to go try and reason with her.
Tell her violence isn't the answer.
Boy, my fiancee comes up with the craziest plans.
Hey, I was wondering if I could ask you a question.
Sure.
You-seem-really-tightly-wound- and-we-were-wondering If-you-could-possibly- chill-out-a-little- please-don't-hit-me.
Look, I I'd love to chill out, but I can't.
You probably haven't noticed, but I have slight anger issues.
Oh, really? I hadn't noticed at all.
What are you so angry about? You want to know what I'm angry about? Yes.
You want to know what I'm angry about? A little less so, but okay.
I'll tell you what I'm angry about! Well, I have a crush on this super cute boy.
I really "like him" like him, but I'm not sure if he "likes me" likes me.
I don't know who it is, but I'm sure he "fears you" fears you.
I don't know why I just said that.
Go on.
If you tell anyone, I'll tear out your tongue and slap you with it! But it's Fletcher.
He's so cute! Hold off.
Fletcher? Fletcher Quimby? The only guy I know who actually owns a loom? Yes.
He's so sensitive.
And not knowing how he feels about me makes me so angry! If he liked me, I would be the happiest girl on the football team.
Happy? You'd be happy? No, he does not like you.
He loves you.
He "loves you" loves you.
I love you, too, Fletcher! What? Fletcher, tell her how much you love her.
Can't Breathe See? You take his breath away.
This is Grandma Dottie all over again.
Hey, babe.
Prepare to taste burnt plastic.
Hey! You just ran a red light! Try to catch me, copper! Man, I wish this thing had a siren.
While you guys are racing, I'm going to listen to my stereo! Look at Lexi and Violet on the same stage, dancing together so peacefully.
Good work, Chyna! Well, what can I say? I'm a problem solver.
Now this next part makes no sense to me.
When the swan presents her prince with the egg, he thanks her with a kiss.
I would much prefer a cheeses-of-the-world basket.
There is no way I'm letting my man kiss that pathetic piece of poultry! What are you doing? I'm giving this to Fletcher.
Oh, no.
Give me that egg! No.
Fletchie, I'm ready for my kiss.
Catch! Ooh, interception! Ha! Nice try! Fumble! Here, Angus! Pass it to me! No! To me! Angus hands off to Olive.
I don't want it! And she laterals to Chyna! Come on, lily pads! All out blitz! Let's go, swans! Let's get them! Okay, wait.
Guys.
Guys! Timeout! Timeout! There are no timeouts remaining! This game is coming down to the wire! All right.
Down, set.
Do what they're doing! Hut one, hut two, and Yikes! Chyna going down to the ten, to the five! She could go all the way! Come on! This was supposed to be my moment! Oh, good.
Ballet parking.
Lexi, I'm really sorry about what happened, so I got you a present.
If you think a present is going to make up for Aw! Pretty Ooh! Olive! Hi! Have you seen my little Fletchie? Uhh No.
I haven't seen him.
Do not make me get my knife shoes He's in the panic room.