Ducktales (1987) s01e24 Episode Script

Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Racecars, lasers, aeroplanes It's a duck blur You might solve a mystery Or rewrite history - DuckTales - Ooh, ooh, ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh, ooh, ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales - D-d-d-danger - Watch behind you - There's a stranger - Out to find you What to do? Just grab on to some DuckTales Ooh, ooh, ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh, ooh, ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales Ooh, ooh, ooh Not ponytails or cottontails - No, DuckTales - Ooh, ooh, ooh Joy Rider, this is McDuck tower.
What are you doing, Launchpad?! No sweat, McDuck tower.
Just crankin' up for my new stunt - the Triple-Decker Treetop Bebop Tuck 'n' Roll! No! Not that! Nobody's ever done that stunt and lived to brag about it! H-hey, my kind of stunt! Come on, baby, let's do the twist Yee-haw! First the Treetop Bebop.
Then the Tuck 'n' Ro-o-oll! Yeow! Wow, what a crash! Ah, don't try and cheer me up.
Junior Woodchucks, check for damage in the usual places.
No broken bones.
No broken beak.
But what does it matter when you have a broken heart? Ah, don't let it bother you, Launchpad.
You almost pulled off that stunt.
family shows up for the air show.
His family? Hey, Launchpad, wait a minute! Launchpad, what's the big deal about your family coming to town? Yeah, it's just your family.
Just my family? Guys, they aren't my family.
They're my family! You see, once upon a time in a big sky far, far away, we were known as the Flying McQuacks.
There was a big air show on the coast, and the Flying McQuacks were the stars of the show.
The crowd was just waiting for our show-stopping grand finale, the Barn-Stormin' Cattle Rustle Hustle.
It went real well at first.
We all dived right on target.
First Dad did his part - better than I could ever do.
Then Ma did the prettiest Cattle Rustle Hustle you ever seen.
But I messed up.
Boy, did I ever mess up.
Even more than usual.
Luckily, the pig wasn't hurt, but I couldn't face Mom and Dad.
After I struck out with my folks, I struck out on my own, destined to crash alone for the rest of my life.
I wanted to do the Triple-Decker Treetop Bebop Tuck 'n' Roll stunt to make them proud of me.
- Aw! - Aw! Well, we're proud of you, Launchpad.
Yeah, you've survived more wrecks than those dummies they use to test-crash cars! Thanks.
But now I don't even have a plane to crash.
Oh, boys, has the McX arrived yet? McX? Is that what I think it is? The new experimental plane from McDuck Industries, if that's what you're thinking.
So I guess you'll, uh, need a pilot, eh, Mr.
McX? No problem, Launchpad.
I already have a test pilot in mind.
Uhh No! You gotta let me crash it I mean, fly it.
- But - Pretty please? I'll give you anything you want.
But I already have everything.
Then I'll be your best friend forever.
Or I'll never bother you again.
Take your pick.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, I don't think - I'll work for free.
- You're hired.
Yippee! The things I put up with to get cheap labor.
We gotta get out of here.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
We gotta get out of here! - Yeah! - Yeah! And into McDuck's new airplane.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah! - Yeah, yeah, yeah! The McX will open up a whole new world of crime for us.
Hey! There's a two-for-one sale at the Hungarian Hamburger Hut! Give me that, you Bomber Beagle's gonna fly us out of here any minute now.
Ha ha! Hey, speak of the Beagle! It's Bomber! I'm gonna fly you jailbirds out of here, jail and all! Ha ha ha ha ha! Hey, you chumps! What about me?! You can't have a good time without Big Time! Where's the McX, Uncle Scrooge? Launchpad should be flying it in any minute.
Hey, look, there's one of the big aces now! Ladies and gentlemen, Benzino Gasolini! Hey, everybody, I'm-a here.
The famous Italian play-dog and air ace! Atsa me! So where's the fancy plane we come for, huh? Relax.
We make no moves before it's time.
We got settin' up to do.
And here they are, ladies and gentlemen, the Flying McQuacks! Launchpad's family! Introducing Ripcord McQuack, his wife Birdy, and his daughter Loopy! Excuse me, sir, have you seen Launchpad McQuack? - Why, no, I - Oh, then you'll love seeing these.
Now, this is Launchpad right after he crash-landed in his crib.
And this is right after he crashed in his high chair.
Oh, and this is right after he crashed his first soapbox racer.
Oh, Launchpad always wanted to fly.
And, you know, he never gave up - crash after crash after crash.
Yeah, Launchpad could crash even before he could walk.
Well ha ha ha He won't have any trouble with the McX.
Even an idiot could fly it.
Here it comes, boys! Get ready with that marshmallow goo.
I'm ready, I'm ready! And now, here comes the fabulous McX, the experimental plane from McDuck Industries.
Here to tell you about this fabulous new plane is Mr.
Scrooge McDuck.
The McX can hover like a helicopter, take off like a rocket, and land on a dime.
But hopefully not one of mine.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Yahoo! The McX is also specially designed with an ultrasonic digger which will revolutionize the entire mining industry.
What a plane! And what a performance by yours truly.
All right, he's sailing back this way.
Ready aim fire! I hope my family is watching me now.
Mayday! Mayday! Or is this Ap It is! April day! April day! Bull's-eye! The McX will be ours in no time.
Duck! April day! April d-day! Oh Oh April day? No, June.
It's June.
No, uh What in the world have you done to the McX? Bird-brained plane wrecker! It's OK, Mr.
McD.
Only minor damage.
I managed to avoid a catastroph-ph-ph - Father? - Hello, son.
Looks like your plane's a little sick.
Ol' Doc Bomber here's got the cure.
I got two ace mechanics up my sleeve.
We can have this thing patched up in no time - free - as a favor for a really rich - I mean, a really nice guy.
Free? Well! I never could resist a bargain, especially a free one.
Uncle Scrooge, there's marshmallow goo in one of the engines.
Uh, uh, it must have hit the marshmallow topping when it crashed into that ice cream stand.
And don't worry, Mr.
McDuck.
We'll have your plane up, up, and away from him in no time.
Ah, I don't know what to say about ruining your plane, Mr.
McD.
Launchpad, these things just happen.
To me, over and over and over! I know, I know! - Oh, but, Launchpad, we - I know, I know! You're ashamed to be seen with me.
Launchpad, you got to stop Crashing! I know, I know! But the ground and I are like two irresistible forces, destined to keep meeting again and again.
Easy does it.
There.
You gonna test the ultrasonic digger, Bomber? Would I be a nasty, sneaky, thievin' crook if I didn't? Yeah, you would.
All right! - Yeah! - Beagles are the best! Next stop, Scrooge's money bin! Well, I've got to hand it to you.
She looks as good as new.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Thanks, Mr.
McDuck.
Listen, you don't really want that loony Launchpad to fly this beauty again, do you? - Well, to tell you the truth - Of course not! And I got just the guy for the job - me.
Well, I don't know.
Hey, who patched her up? Ol' Doc Bomber, that's who.
Who could fly her better than me? Heck, I'd pay you for the chance.
- How much? - 100 bucks.
- 500.
- 200.
- 500.
- 300.
- 500.
- 400.
- 500.
- OK, 500.
- 550.
- OK, OK! 550 bucks.
Sold! Ha ha ha! Come on, Launchpad, it's not that bad.
Yes, it is.
I wrecked the McX.
And I did it right in front of my f-f-father and m-mother.
Not to mention your s-s-sister.
Ow! I was just trying to help! You can still fly the Joy Rider in the air show.
It's all mashed up.
You can fix it, Launchpad.
Yeah! All the best pilots are good mechanics! Well, I'll give it a shot.
Attaboy, Launchpad! We're gonna go check on the McX.
And on those fishy guys who offered to fix it.
Huh.
There's something different about this plane.
Definitely something different.
Scrambledy-scramble! - Did you hear something? - Nah.
Probably just my stomach growling.
Once we get these vacuum bags installed, we're in business.
The Beagle Boys! We gotta stop them! Follow me! That ought to do it.
Banzai! When I give the signal, turn on the water full force! You got it! Get those brats! I gotta get the McX ready for takeoff! Water! Water! Hey! Gotcha, you little ankle-biter.
Let go of me, Beagle-breath! - Bomber's got Dewey! - Let's clean up his act! Aah! Yeow! Whoa! That was exciting.
Let's do it again.
I think we've got something else to do right now.
Come on, Bomber, crank it up.
Hang on! Did you bag 'em, Beagles? Let us out of here! Ouch! Yeah, we bagged 'em.
Burger, lock 'em up and keep an eye on 'em.
Bouncer, come with me.
Why won't this work? Oh, like, this is so easy, Launchpad.
Get ready to start her up when I tell you.
Like, crank it to the max! I don't believe it.
Like, totally happy landings, big brother.
How humiliatin'.
Now you three brats know what it's like to be behind bars.
Yeah, right where you belong! Yeah? Well, you're in there, while my brothers are cleaning out Scrooge's money bin.
Soon Scrooge's money bin will be as empty as your head.
Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing.
Let's hear it for Benzino Gasolini! Hey, it's-a nothin' a-to it! Now for a little a-spice.
I tell you some-a-thing.
Mama never make-a pizza like-a this! Special delivery pizza, eh? Whoa! Hey, pizza for everybody! Food?! It's-a my special five-flavor pizza! I make-a myself at-a 5,000 feet.
Mangia, mangia! Ciao, bambini! I hope he's stupid enough for this to work! Hey, Burger, you want the rest of this pizza? Mm-hmm! If you insist.
Yep, he's stupid enough.
Come on, we gotta find Uncle Scrooge! This is it, Bouncer.
The heist of the decade.
Of the century! Of the week.
Now for the ultrasonic digger.
Wow, would you look at that? I knew I should have listened to the weather report yesterday.
Let's see, where am I? Huh? I brought the wrong map! Hey, I know where I am! Yeah, it's the money bin, and the McX, and the Beagle Boys vacuuming up all of Mr.
McD's money! I gotta stop We're rich! We're rich! Whoa! What was that, Bomber? Looks like that idiot Launchpad! I'll teach him to mess with us.
Reverse vacuum, Bouncer.
Yeah, let's shoot him down with Scrooge's money.
Ah ha ha! Ha ha! Take that, creep, and keep the change! Whoa, that's pretty expensive ammo! We got him on the run.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Don't count your ducks before they're mashed, Bouncer.
We gots company! Hey, this-a gonna be fun, just like-a the movies! This is no movie, Benzino! That's my money they're shooting, and it's cold, hard cash.
Eh, it's-a still fun, you know? Hang on, pilgrims.
Follow me.
Yo! We're surrounded.
Let's take the loot and run! I mean, fly! You Beagles are at the end of your rope.
Yeow! My money! It's falling into Duckburg Pond! Ah hee hee! Be some a-fancy a-fishing now, eh? Hee hee! You're not getting away with this! Aah! Everybody stay clear.
It's time for the Triple-Decker Treetop Bebop Tuck 'n' Roll! Ya ha ha hooey! First the Treetop Bebop Launchpad, take it easy, lad! And now for the Tuck 'n' Roll! Yeow! How do I get out of here? Flying McQuacks, dive! Quackaroonie! Mind if I borrow a little axle grease, Ripcord? Be my guest, son.
Aah! I can't see! Time to bail out! Like, are you ready, Dewey? You betcha, Loopy! Whoa! Ya-hooey! Hee hee! Great going, guys.
What a team, what a team.
Oh, my! This is so exciting.
Happy landings, Beagle Boys! Great plan, Big Time.
Yeah, and great flying, Bomber you airhead! I'm sorry I doubted you, Launchpad.
You did a terrific job up there.
Launchpad, I'm so proud of Mom and Loopy.
I know, I know, Dad.
I just wish you were proud of me, but Launchpad, will you shut your beak and listen to me for just one dad-burned minute? I'm so dad-burned proud of you, I'm about to explode, but you never give me the chance to say so.
Really? You're not just saying that? Oh, we're all proud of you, Launchpad.
Like, totally, to the max, for sure.
Ha ha ha ha ha! You're a McQuack, son, right down to your tail section.
Don't you agree, McDuck? Ugh! Aye.
He's a real chip off the old propeller!