Foreign Exchange (2004) s01e24 Episode Script

1
(cheerful music)
(school bell rings)
(upbeat music)
(students chatter)
- [Male Student] See you Monday.
(water gurgles)
- [Miss Murphy] As you know,
the orienteering challenge
is this afternoon.
- Oh, whoopee.
- [Miss Murphy] And any team
that hasn't entered yet,
- It's fun.
- [Miss Murphy] Has until 10 o'clock,
- No, fun is something enjoyable.
Running across country,
through mud and bushes,
is for desperates and wannabes.
- Huh.
- This year, we have a special
prize for the winning team.
A day trip to Dublin.
(students talk excitedly)
- [Student] Hey, Dublin!
- On the other hand, maybe
there is something fun
about mud and bushes.
- Brett, haven't you found
those orienteering flags yet?
- Is that them there?
- They're the very ones.
(flags clatter)
- They really should get
a skip for all this junk.
- This isn't junk!
It's memories!
Sound of Music, 1993.
Treasure Island, argh!
Jimmy, lad, 1995.
And even South Pacific, 1971.
- It all looks like junk to me.
- This stable contains the
memory of every school play
ever staged at O'Keeffe's College.
- Yeah, but how much
more can you fit in here?
- Good point.
You're right, it's junk.
You clear the shed out while I go round,
decorating the countryside
with these things.
- It'll take hours.
- I don't see the point of it at all.
What's wrong with football
to keep them amused?
- Uh, well, I'll get
started on top of this.
I just gotta do a quick job first.
(air whooshes)
(cheerful music)
(people chatter)
(silverware clatters)
- Where's Brett?
- Probably sleeping.
I swear he doesn't know the difference
between night and day
down in that dungeon.
- Actually, he's often
sleeping during the day.
- Well, he's a growing boy.
Needs an occasional nap.
- Sometimes he doesn't even hear you
knocking on the door.
- His sleeping patterns
are probably disturbed
by living below ground.
- I'll go and call him.
- Yeah, check to see if
his nappy needs changing
while you're there.
- Wayne.
- A dull and un-stimulating room
can lead to low performance
and despondency in adult life.
- Where on earth do you get
all this stuff from, princess?
- Just something I read somewhere.
- (scoffs) Nah, Brett's a loser.
It's got nothing to do
with what his room's like.
(air whooshes)
(upbeat music)
(students chatter)
- [Tara] So, what exactly do you do
in this orient thing, anyway?
- Orienteering.
It's like a cross between
golf and a treasure hunt,
with a map and a compass.
- Sounds exhilarating so far.
- You just have to find the treasure
at each hole on the course.
- Treasure?
Down a hole?
- Well, not real treasure.
Just a stamp, marked by a flag.
- A stamp.
- Yeah.
To mark your scorecard with.
- This isn't that stupid game
that Martin won last year, is it?
- And the year before.
(chimes)
(intense music)
(rock grinds)
(portal sparks)
(knocking)
(rock grinds)
- [Craig] Brett, wake up!
Can you hear me?
(knocks)
Brett, are you okay, mate?
(yawns)
- Sorry Craig, I dozed off.
- You dozed off?
Mate, you were dead to the world.
It's the middle of the afternoon.
- What?
- It's true, isn't it, eh?
Dull, un-stimulating.
I don't know what we were thinking,
letting you stay down here.
Just got carried away
and busy with everything.
But I'm not gonna make excuses.
I'm gonna take full responsibility.
- What are you talking about?
- Mate, it is better late than never.
We will start first
thing tomorrow morning.
- Start what?
- Renovating this room.
- What?
- Complete makeover.
- No, Craig, honestly it's fine.
- Mate, it's like the
Batcave down here, worse.
- Aren't you being a bit overdramatic?
- This wall needs plastering, for a start.
And painting some bright
and stimulating colors.
- No way.
- Brett!
I won't hear another word, mate.
It is already taken care of.
- You can't!
It's my room, I don't want it changed!
- Brett, you need some stimulation.
We can't have you turning out to be
a despondant, low-performing
adult, now can we?
Eh?
(chuckles)
- What?
(air whooshes)
- What happened last year wasn't my fault.
There was something
wrong with the compass.
(air whooshes)
(dings)
- The secret to winning is
to take out the proper insurance.
- What do you mean, insurance?
- Well, you ensure that you don't lose
by taking certain steps.
- Like what?
- Oh, like, slipping a
sliver of a fridge magnet
into someone else's compass? (laughs)
(air whooshes)
(dings)
- So, you didn't really get lost?
- Well, sort of.
But mountain rescue got me home okay.
They are very professional.
(air whooshes)
(dings)
- Is that how Cormac ended
up in Mayo last year?
- Well, that and being a complete weirdo.
Anyone else would have realized
they were getting nowhere
and turned back.
(air whooshes)
(ding)
- I know how to use a compass!
And yet, I ended up totally off course.
I just, I don't understand it.
(air whooshes)
(ding)
- What you need to do
is to swap this compass
for Cormac's.
- But he might notice.
- No he won't, all the school
compasses look the same.
(air whooshes)
(ding)
- "Greatest Expeditions Ever."
What do you want that for?
- It's all about plan B.
That is where I went wrong last year.
(air whooshes)
(ding)
- And while you're doing that,
I'll take out some extra insurance.
Plan B.
- Plan B?
(students chatter)
- Hi Cormac.
- Oh, uh, hi.
- All ready for the
orienteering competition?
- Uh, yeah?
- I don't suppose you'd show me
how to use a compass?
I'm so useless at these technical things.
Would you?
Please?
It's just, you're so
clever at these things,
and I'm so
Not clever.
- Um, you actually want me to, uh,
talk to you, do you?
All right, well, it's
fairly straightforward.
When this bit lines up with that line,
you're facing north.
- Let me try.
So, which way is east?
- East is where the sun
would rise in the morning,
so, that way.
- That's brilliant, Cormac!
You make things sound so easy!
(rock grinds)
(portal sparks)
Okay, so I line up the compass on my map.
- Whoa whoa whoa whoa!
What's gone wrong with it?
(portal sparks)
- I dunno.
Isn't it supposed to do that?
(portal sparks)
(rock grinds)
(guitar music)
- That's weird.
- I'll let you figure it out.
- It's really weird!
- Hannah!
We've got a problem.
Craig wants to redecorate my room.
- Oh, well, it could do with it.
I mean, I've seen wrecker's
yards in better condition.
- Oh, I'm sorry, your highness,
but aren't you overlooking something?
- Like what?
- Well, for starters, you
won't be able to portal through
while he's doing it.
- Oh, so?
Will it kill me not to use
the portal for a few days?
- Try forever?
He wants to plaster it over
and paint it in stimulating colors!
(students chattering)
- Do you think you could
take the maps downstairs
for me please, Seamus?
- Certainly.
This isn't where I put the flags!
- Those are last years.
Here you go.
- Thank goodness.
I wasn't keen on going around
changing all the flags again.
(air whooshes)
(portal sparks)
(rock grinds)
- Brett, just tell them
you don't want your room redecorated.
It's not that hard.
- You reckon?
Come and you'll find out.
- That color's not bad, or that one.
- But I don't want them!
I love the colors I've got!
- I'm making a feng
shui chart of your room
to plan where to put everything
to welcome good things into your life.
- Thanks, but you don't need to, Meredith.
I like the room just the way it is.
- I've been looking at some magazines.
I've got some great ideas
to get started on tomorrow.
- You know, I think Brett's room's
great the way it is.
It's really original.
- (scoffs) We can't have our son living in
a dreary, dilapidated old cellar, Hannah.
- But Craig, it's just a waste of money.
Isn't it, Mom?
- Don't be silly Brett.
Craig's just trying to do
something nice for you.
- Yeah, there, look.
Lime delight, and sun delight.
That's what I was thinking.
Very creative and imaginative colors.
- It's my room!
You can't just move in
and change everything!
- Brett!
I've had enough of this!
Why are you being so rude to Craig?
- (sighs) That's all right love.
- It's my room.
- Yes, and it's being
redecorated tomorrow,
and that is that.
- Hey guys, come on.
Be good for you.
Get the old blood flowing
through the brain again.
- Blood to the brain?
- Meredith, what have
you been telling him?
- That the right feng shui can attract
change and creativity into your life?
- Someone should take
away your library card.
(laidback music)
(chimes)
(sighs)
So, do you believe me now?
- There's only one way around this.
If they wanna redecorate the room, then
You're gonna have to do it.
- What?
Seal up the portal?
- No, we redecorate so
that it looks better,
but without plastering.
- And how we gonna do all
that before tomorrow morning?
- I don't know.
Look, I've got to get back
to this orienteering challenge.
(portal sparks)
(rock grinds)
I'll be back as soon as it's finished.
We'll work it out.
(portal sparks)
(sighs quietly)
(air whooshes)
- Cormac has little global
positioning systems for you.
- If anyone gets lost,
we can track them from these signal.
- [Miss Murphy] Thank you
Cormac, it's very kind of you.
We won't have to send out
any search parties this year.
- Uh, no thanks, geeky.
Winners don't get lost.
- Right, team number one.
Get ready to start.
On your marks, get set.
(blows whistle)
(upbeat music)
Okay, team number two.
(blows whistle)
Team number three.
(blows whistle)
(students chattering)
On your marks, get set.
(blows whistle)
On your marks, get set.
(blows whistle)
On your marks, get set.
(blows whistle)
(laid-back music)
- How's it going?
- It's neverending.
How'd you manage to accumulate so much?
- Ah, you never like
to throw anything away.
You never know when they
might come in handy again.
- Yeah, very handy.
- Ah, the water dance from
Lord of the Jig, 1992.
What a production!
So creative, and, and
- Stimulating?
- Exactly that.
Well, I'll leave you at it.
Too much stimulation isn't
good for a man at my age.
(intense music)
(students talking)
(guitar riffs
(keyboard music)
(leaves rustling)
- Cormac, are you okay?
- I don't trust this.
It went crazy earlier, and now
the needle seems to be stuck.
- Well, can a compass go wrong?
- (sighs) I don't know, Hannah.
But sometimes you have
to abandon technology
and resort to brute intelligence.
(birds call)
- [Martin] I've already
plotted the coordinates
for the entire course.
So, all we need to do now is
head south to the first flag,
and we'll be way ahead of everybody.
(door creaks)
(rock grinds)
(portal sparks)
- Hold it still, will you?
- I am!
Just started going crazy by itself.
(portal sparks)
(portal sparks)
(rock grinds faintly)
(birds calling faintly)
- Is it ticking?
- No.
Does that mean it's not working?
- How am I supposed to take a reading?
- You should ask your dad
to buy a decent compass
instead of this school rubbish.
- Well, it's never done it before.
- Uh, yes it has.
- Yeah?
- It happened when I was
swapping Cormac's compass.
- Well, were you wearing your watch?
Your bracelet or something, no?
- I'm not wearing my watch.
- Nothing metallic, no?
- Zilch.
It must just be my magnetic personality.
What do you think, Martin?
- I think it's time we got going.
(map rustles)
- Spoilsport.
(bird calls)
(Cormac grunts)
- What are you doing?
- The ground on the north side of a tree
is generally damper
than on the south side.
- Isn't there something
like licking your finger
and sticking it up in the air?
- That's for wind direction.
- Oh yeah.
Well, if there's anything I can do.
- You can read the map to me once I've uh,
once I've worked out the directions.
- So, which way is north?
- So, southeast would be?
(upbeat guitar music)
(laughs)
- This is ridiculous.
According to the map, our first
flag should be right here.
- If you're reading it right.
- I know how to read a map, Tara.
- Really.
We haven't once managed to
stamp our card once yet.
- Oh, and that's my fault, is it?
- Ah, I thought you were supposed to be
the expert at this?
(scoffs)
Now I'm sure we passed
by that tree before?
- That tree?
You think you can tell
one tree from another?
(bird calls)
- Where are we, anyway?
- Um, I'm not sure.
(intense keyboard music)
- What do you mean you're not sure?
(rock grinds)
(portal sparks)
- Oh no.
Here we go again.
(air whooshes)
- Oh!
See?
You do have a sense of direction.
- Right!
Next checkpoint coming up.
(laughs)
(upbeat guitar music)
- Second flag should be here.
And it's not.
- Ugh, give me a look.
(paper tears)
(Martin yelps)
- Great!
Now look what you've done!
- Me?
Oh!
Oh, use the one they gave me.
Why they thought I'd
need it, I've no idea.
- Wait a minute.
These aren't the coordinates I had.
I can't believe it!
Miss Murphy let me steal the wrong map!
- How is that Miss Murphy's fault?
- That is just typical of her.
(intense guitar music)
(air whooshes)
(air whooshes)
- It looks like we're the last back again.
- Well, least we made it back.
- Thank goodness, I was just about to
get Seamus to go out with the tractor.
- Sorry!
The compass, it didn't work!
So we had to work out another way
to find the right direction.
- Everyone must be having
trouble with their compasses.
You're the first back.
- We're first!
Then that means!
- You've won!
Congratulations!
- We won!
- We won!
- Well done!
- [Seamus] They're all lost!
Every last on=e of them!
- What?
- [Seamus] I went up on the
hill with the binoculars,
and there wasn't one of them to be seen
anywhere on the course!
- Oh dear.
- Not a problem, Miss Murphy.
They've got their tracking devices.
- Are you going to admit we're lost?
- We are not lost, Tara,
we are just slightly off course.
- Seamus, you take the hill.
Brendan and Clara, you head north.
Elizabeth, Nemer, you
take the southeast sector.
I'll stay here to coordinate.
- What's going on?
- Well, everyone's lost.
What are you doing with those?
- I'm redecorating my
room, like you suggested.
- Brett, where have you been?
Come on, quick, you're needed!
- But I've got to empty out the shed!
- Forget the shed!
Quit your gabbing and get on!
- It's okay, you go.
I'll take those.
- Thanks.
(engine rumbles)
(air whooshes)
(portal sparks)
(breathes heavily)
(air whooshes)
- [Seamus] We found these four
over near Noch Ma.
- Great, that's just one team missing now.
- Martin and Tara.
But they didn't take my global
positioning system device.
- Why don't you just
call her on her mobile?
- (sighs) There's no mobile
phones allowed, Brett.
- Miss Murphy, this is Tara
we're talking about here.
- Just one or two degrees off course.
- Even a major shopping trip
to Dublin isn't worth this.
Oh, oh we have to call for help.
Great, no reception.
(sighs)
- No reception.
- Maybe I can track the phone's signal.
(rapid beeps)
(intense electronic music)
- It'll be dark soon.
(steady beeps)
- Found them!
They're on the Devil's Nose!
(Tara sighs)
- Oh, I have had enough!
This is not how you treat a girl, Martin,
especially a girl like me!
- Well, if you had bothered
to check your map in the first place,
then we wouldn't be in
the position, would we?
- Excuse me?
It's not my fault I have a magnetic effect
on everything around
me, including compasses!
- Yeah, right, magnetic effect.
Ha, now I've really heard it all.
(gasps)
- How can you deny it?
- Well, why don't you use your magnetism
to attract somebody to
rescue us then, huh?
(angrily grunts)
- Maybe I just will!
- (yelps) Well, go on then!
I'm all ears!
(engine whirs)
- Did you hear that?
(sheep bleating)
(cheerful music)
(gasps happily)
We're saved!
(Tara and Martin laugh)
- Tara!
Martin!
(Martin yelps)
- How'd you know where to find us?
- Oh, some sort of technical
device of Cormac's.
Some sort of signal-attracting thing?
- Oh, what kind of signals?
- Oh, electronic mayday,
something like that.
- I just hate to say I told you so.
(engine rumbles)
- No you don't, you love it.
(tires screech)
(air whooshes)
(upbeat music)
(waves crashing)
(people chattering)
(portal sparks)
- Hi!
- [Hannah] Hey!
- Wow!
(chimes)
Wow, this is really great!
- You think so?
(knocking
- [Craig] Wakey wakey!
Rise and shine, sleepyhead,
we got work to do!
- Hi Craig!
- Morning!
- Hi Hannah!
What are you doing here?
- Oh, just helping Brett.
- (laughs) With what?
(chimes and harp strings)
Whoa!
What happened in here?
- Well, I thought about what you said,
about uh, negative energy
and stimulation and all that.
- And you've got a great point there.
- Well, it uh, was
Meredith's idea, actually.
- The thing is, I just
didn't like the idea
of orange delight and green delight walls.
I mean, I like the brickwork.
I think it looks neat.
- All right, here we go Brett.
(chimes and harp strings)
- Pretty neat, huh?
- Did you do this?
- Uh yeah, with a uh,
little help from Hannah.
- Yeah, just a little.
(guitar riffs)
- Well, I was a bit full-on, wasn't I?
Went at it like a bull
at a gate, as usual.
I mean after all, it is your room.
You know best how you want it.
Sorry mate, I should,
I should stop and listen sometimes.
- No, no, no problem.
- And I think it looks terrific.
What about you, Jack?
- Well, I'm just amazed you
did it all in one night.
(laughs)
Looks like you've got the day off, Craig.
- Ahh, it's a shame.
I was quite looking forward
to a bit of renovating.
Maybe the restaurant could
do with a star makeover.
What do you reckon, love?
(chimes)
- Um, I dunno, Craig.
- Heck, I got some great paint!
You'll love the colors!
Jackie!
Now Jack, look, Orange
delight, look, here!
Jackie!
(Brett sighs)
- Think we should give her a hand?
- I dunno, I think the
customers might find
orange delight and green
delight pretty stimulating.
- Oh, super stimulating.
- Mm-hmm, stimulatingly stimulating.
(cheerful music)
(air whooshes)
(chimes and triumphant music)