How to Rock (2012) s01e24 Episode Script

Okay, so what if Grafflewon knows the Sword of Chaos is cursed by Botanicum? I like it.
But then his mind gets clouded by the Zombie Soldiers of Tombuush! Are they speaking English? Oh, they're speaking Warkeeper.
It's the nerd Bible.
Okay, graphic novels aren't for nerds.
They're for the coolest of the cool.
Furthermore, it so happens Harrison Fink, author of Warkeeper, is going to be signing his books at our book fair.
When he hears our idea for a new Warkeeper book, it's going to blow his mind! You ready for this? Warkeeper Death Crime of the Shadow Master! Wow.
I was not ready for that.
Good morning, all.
Well, well.
Would you look at what the cat dragged in? Oh, I'm sorry.
I'd tell you where I got it, but it's one of a kind.
Love it with your eyes, Grace.
Come on, Kacey.
Just let it go.
You said you weren't going to let Molly get to you.
I'm not.
But look at her! I mean, she thinks she's so great.
That hat looks like a bird crashed into a toilet seat.
Let it rest, Kacey.
Besides, you clearly defeated her yesterday with the jacket with the grass growing all over it.
That was an Alfalfa Bolero.
But thank you.
She was so devastated.
But don't worry.
This fashion war is over.
Done.
I have moved on.
So glad she's moved on.
- Wait, wait.
Zander, Zander - Oh.
And on, and on - Now she has moved - And now she's moved On.
Andy.
What are you doing? Put that down.
But it will get dirty, milady.
Drop it! Okay, so Dr.
Medicus and his team get to the Bridge of the Abyss, and the Shadow Master materializes.
And he's all, "few shall pass".
"After you death merchants pass, none more shall!" Brilliant! Write it down before we forget.
Hi, Nelson.
Is anybody sitting in this empty seat? Un, no, nobody.
Totally free.
Right there next to me.
There you have it.
Great.
So, Kevin, if you could sit in the empty seat next to Nelson, then I can sit next to Molly.
Sure.
Sorry, Nelson.
Grace doesn't even know I'm alive.
Sure, she does.
If she thought you were dead, she'd be completely freaking out right now.
Look, Nelson, she's a Perf.
You're from two different worlds.
Whassup, class? All right, listen.
Dust off your brains.
It's learning time.
Mr.
March? I forgot my book.
- Can I go to my locker? - No.
Yeah, you can.
All right, now, in 1774, the first Continental Congress, they were all "The Coercive Acts? They be illin'".
So what they did Ah! Whassup with that? Whassup with this? Mr.
March! Someone's getting homework.
Due to some students' relentless disregard of our dress code, and you know who you are But if you don't, you're Kacey Simon and Molly Garfunkel I'm enacting a uniform code.
So starting tomorrow, each and every student must wear This uniform.
Oh, yeah.
You push me, I push right back.
And if you're asking, "why, Prince? Why did it come to this?" I suggest you get a full-length mirror and you give you yourself a good, hard look.
But only if you're Kacey Simon and Molly Garfunkel.
Don't blame me.
Blame her.
Jerks! Only you can be you.
Only I can be me.
You always want to be what you're not.
Can't you be happy with what you've got? You're perfect the way you are.
With your insecurities, flaws, and scars.
Your life's too short to worry.
Don't you know it's true.
Only you can be you.
Only I can be me.
Only you can be you.
Only I can be me.
Only you can be you.
Only I can be me.
Only you can be you.
Only I can be me.
I can be me.
These uniforms are awful.
Ha! We would actually look better in filthy rags and garbage.
I would argue that filthy rags and garbage would make us look worse.
Fine! It's a bet! How can that be a bet? I don't know! I can't think in these clothes! And it's all Molly's fault.
This is all Kacey's fault.
Why does she insist on competing with me? So pathetic.
You're not a Perf! Oh, wow.
We're all wearing the exact same outfits.
Awkward! Grace? Go find the rest of The Perfs.
On it.
Don't get comfortable.
Perfs! Hello? Any Perfs? This is so unnerving.
It's like the entire palette of humanity has been reduced to blue and gray! Get a grip, Grace.
- Oh, hey.
- Nelson.
Hi.
Oh, check us out.
We're wearing the same thing.
Except, you know, I'm not in a skirt.
Too bad.
You've got the legs for it.
I do? Oh.
Thank you.
Where did they go? Well, look at us.
We're like twins.
Yeah.
Identical.
Let's do that mirror thing.
Uh, sorry, Andy.
I just I really don't I'm just going to go.
Ow! Way to ruin the illusion, Kacey.
This is awful.
I mean, we all look the same.
No one can tell which social group is which.
I hope you're happy.
Oh, I am.
How sweet of you to ask.
- You know that's not what I meant.
- Too late.
You were nice.
Ha ha.
You really think I'm gonna high-five you? I'm furious.
The way I dress lets me express my individuality, now I'm just a part of this big gray blob.
I don't know.
It was really nice not having to worry about what I was going to wear this morning.
I actually had time to eat breakfast with my family.
They're weirder than I remember.
You want to talk weird? I went to talk to Nelson about Warkeeper, and look.
Nelson Is with Grace? Whoa.
How did that happen? It's like we're all the same now.
Perfs, nerds, jocks, gamers, rockers Nobody knows who's who.
Let's go, girls.
Andy, you're not a Perf.
Or am I? You're not! Andy, go away.
If one more person comes up to me and says, "thanks a lot for making us wear uniforms, Kacey".
I'm going to scream.
Thanks a lot for making us wear uniforms, Kacey.
- She wasn't kidding.
- Yeah, that was real.
Well, would you look at that? - Principal Kersey! - Yeah? What are you going to do about this? What? Molly's scarf.
There's nothing wrong with my scarf.
Ha! It's not gray.
She is blatantly breaking the rules.
I'm breaking the rules? Look at those socks.
- Says the girl with the illegal hair band.
- To the girl with the unauthorized belt.
Okay! Enough, enough, enough.
I want it all.
Give it to me.
Come on.
Belt, scarf, socks.
Let's go! Let's go.
- In your face.
- In your face.
All right.
In both your faces.
I like to sit tenth row, three seats in from the aisle.
That's exactly where I like to sit.
Unless it's a 3-D movie.
Then I go for Fifth row, dead center.
Exactly.
I'm surprised I've never sat on you before.
Aw.
Poor Kevin.
He's lost his Nelson.
These uniforms have wrecked everything.
I've already lost, like, 90% of my mojo.
Zander, you really need to embrace the uniforms.
I have so much extra time in the morning, I'm learning how to knit.
Oven mitt? Uh, thank you? Hey, come on, Kacey.
You have to do something.
You're driving her to knit.
Okay, I'm going to go find Molly, and we are going to fix this.
You guys.
Go be his Nelson.
Well, at least we could be a Half Nelson.
Oh, that's a joke.
A Half Nelson is a wrestling hold.
Oh, I know.
It was just incredibly unfunny.
- Hey, buddy.
- What's going on? Nothing.
Just trying to work on this dumb Warkeeper idea.
Maybe we can help.
- Really? - Yeah.
It'll be fun.
- Show us what you got.
- Okay.
See, I'm trying to figure out the final battle for the Bridge of the Abyss.
- Awesome.
- Very cool.
Right? Who needs Nelson? Hey, Stevie, toss me a cheese curl.
No.
Toss me one.
It's faster.
But the bag's right in front of you.
That's what Nelson does.
Put some arc on it.
Give me the bag.
Who are you? You're not Perfs.
How'd you get in here? Do these ballet flats come in a six? This is not a shoe store! Get away from those.
Hey, you don't belong in here.
Get away from my sink.
These are five-ply paper towels.
They're nicer than the sheets you sleep on.
Get away from those! Get no gimme no Free purses! - Go get them.
- Oh! No! Not my purses! Sorry Molly, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
What does it matter? This is the end of an era.
The Perfs are no more! Stop talking crazy like that, Molly.
You and I caused 400 kids to have to wear uniforms.
Together, we have the power to set them free.
But we haven't worked together since you were a Perf.
Can we really be a team again? We better, because this school is really getting out of control.
I could not agree more.
Okay, we've got to fix this fast.
Definitely.
So after the apocalypse, the Shadow Master has outlawed thinking.
But Dr.
Medicus has a secret weapon.
The Thought Chopper! It chops up thoughts? No, it's a helicopter that harnesses the power of thoughts.
It is a little confusing.
Maybe we should call it the thought helicopter? Un, no, that doesn't sound cool, look The Thought Chopper is clearly a helicopter.
Yeah, but the blades could still chop up thoughts, I mean, I like it a lot.
Me too.
There's a Perf in our hangout! I guess it's not that scary.
Okay, Molly and I are going to brainstorm a plan to end this uniform nightmare.
Okay, why do you keep calling it a nightmare? I have so much time now.
Look at how many oven mitts I've made.
You may have too much time.
- Yeah, you may be right.
- Yeah.
Ewe, this place is gross.
I'm afraid to touch anything.
Here you go.
Let's get to work.
Yeah, let's let them think.
Come on, guys.
Oh, sorry I scared you, Kevin.
Oh, I wasn't scared.
I was just, uh, thinking of something scary for my Warkeeper story.
Which is awesome.
So don't worry about me.
I'm all good.
- Come on, Kevin.
- Ah! Don't sneak up on a man! That's when I realized I was never going to set the world record.
But still, eating five apples is pretty impressive, right? Yeah, it is! Oh, hey, call my cell.
- Why? - Just do it.
That's your ring tone for me? Yep.
It's Gibbons.
Gibbons find a mate and stay together for life.
- Oh, that's a fun fact.
- Isn't it? Look! Subsection 2.
It says "Jackets must not be sloppy or unkempt".
It doesn't specify what kind of jackets.
We could wear crazy jackets! No.
Look.
Addendum 14 "Jackets are defined as being entirely navy or gray without hoods or visible ornamentation".
There's no room for any deviation at all.
We've read this book inside out, backwards and forwards, upside down.
There's nothing we can do.
Wait! - What you just said.
- What did I say? Backwards.
Forwards.
- Is it too crazy? - I don't know what it is.
- Could it actually work? - What? What? Tell me what! Okay.
This rule book tells us what we have to wear.
But it doesn't say anything about where we have to wear it.
I like it.
Mobilize the troops.
- Let's do this.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, I'll text The Perfs and the jocks.
You text all the losers.
No offense.
None taken.
Whoa, this place is off the hook.
- Right? - Who says books are for nerds? Uh To the best of my knowledge, I don't think anyone has ever said "Books are for nerds".
Exactly! That's my point.
Who says that? No one.
Nobody I know would ever say that.
March.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Didn't you have that patch on the other eye? I had another accident.
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's going on? Zander.
Zander.
What's up with the clothes? Nothing, Sir.
Just wearing our uniforms.
No.
No.
No, no! This is against the rules! Technically, it's not.
If you read the code closely.
- As we did.
- Okay.
Enlighten me.
You'll see that the rules state what the uniform consists of But not the manner in which it must be worn.
Okay.
Could you two please stop tormenting me and just join the debate club? You know, until today, I always thought that shirts made better shoes than shorts make hats, but I was so wrong.
So true.
Are you okay? Yeah, it's just, Kevin's been looking kind of bummed.
Yeah.
His underwear makes a jaunty scarf, though.
To Roland.
Keep on Warkeeping.
Harrison Fink.
- This isn't my book.
- Not yet it isn't, Sir.
But my friends and I have an idea that I think would be perfect for Warkeeper 16.
May I present The Thought Chopper.
- Interesting.
- Isn't it? So it chops up thoughts.
No, it's a helicopter powered by thoughts.
- Yeah.
- Hm.
I don't like that as much.
Then it chops up thoughts! Not a word.
So what do you think? I like it.
So you're going to publish it? I said I like it.
Isn't that enough? Keep on Warkeeping.
Next! - You just said you like it.
- Keep on Warkeeping.
See, I enacted this dress code for a reason.
What students wear should never be a competition.
You're right, and we were stupid.
But don't you see? You can't suppress our individuality.
Kids will find a way to express themselves somehow, no matter how oppressive you make the rules.
So let the students at the school be themselves.
Yes! Wow.
Sorry, I I got swept up.
That was that was amazing.
They're my students.
Besides, Sir, Molly and I are the ones who caused this.
If there's anyone that should be punished, it's us.
Not all of them.
If Kacey and I can find common ground, anybody can.
You know, after we were so noble and honest.
I thought he wouldn't actually punish us.
I can't believe I'm going to have to sit at the Perf table dressed like a Nicaraguan political prisoner.
Is that what they wear? I'm guessing.
So, uh, back to The Perfs, eh? They need me.
Just like Gravity 5 needs me.
You know, it was crazy for us to let our war get so out of hand.
It was.
But even though it's been a while, we still make a pretty good team.
Yeah, we did.
Someday, there may be another emergency that requires us to unite our awesome powers.
Until that day comes, I'd cover your hair.
Why? Because the custodian may mistake you for a mop.
Maybe I could cover it with your feathery toilet seat.
Good one.
It just feels so right.
Grace, where are you? Coming! Oh.
Wow.
- Look at you.
- Yeah.
Look at you.
I like the monkey.
It's a robot.
Or it was.
I mean, the drier kind of burned his head off.
Yeah.
Grace! I got us Sushi.
Coming.
I'd better go.
Molly needs me.
It was fun, Nelson.
Yes, it was.
Are you okay? Is Grace looking at me? Yes.
Sweet.
Maybe if Dr.
Medicus cloned Botanicum, the clones could battle.
- I love that.
- No.
You can't clone a plant being.
They're made of cellulose and magic.
Yeah, you idiot.
Hey, I don't hear any of your great ideas.
Uh, hey, Kevin.
Nelson.
Uh, so, I, uh, had this new idea.
Warkeeper Overlords of the Crystal Underworld.
Whatever.
Okay, that's awesome! - You mean it? - You know it! - I guess we're off the hook.
- What a relief.
Who knew being a dweeb was such hard work? I need a nap.
And then, Dr.
Medicus goes into the underworld in the Thought Chopper.
Oh, is that like a helicopter that harnesses the power of thoughts? - What else? - Love it!