Rhoda (1974) s01e24 Episode Script

- MY NAME IS RHODA MORGENSTERN.
I WAS BORN IN THE BRONX, NEW YORK IN DECEMBER, 1941.
EVENTUALLY, I RAN TO MINNEAPOLIS, WHERE IT'S COLD, AND I FIGURED I'D KEEP BETTER.
NOW I'M BACK IN MANHATTAN.
NEW YORK, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.
- OH, YEAH, ROY, LISTEN, I GOT TO DO AN EASTER WINDOW FOR MARTINDALE'S.
I HOPE YOU STILL HAVE SOME EASTER STUFF LEFT.
THAT'S GREAT, OK, ALL RIGHT, HERE'S MY ORDER, ROY.
[DOORBELL RINGING.]
- OH, HOLD ON.
WILL YA? THERE'S SOMEONE AT MY DOOR.
MA? - HI, DEAR, I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND I-- - ONE SECOND.
I'M ON THE TELEPHONE.
ROY, YEAH, LISTEN, WHAT I NEED IS, UM, WELL, THE BIGGES RABBIT YOU'VE GOT.
I NEED 9 DOZEN EGGS, 8 DUCKS, AND 14 CHICKENS.
- WHAT, ARE YOU HAVING COMPANY TONIGHT? - THANKS, ROY.
- RHODA, HAVE YOU SEEN MY BLUE JACKET? - OH, JOE, IT'S STILL AT THE CLEANERS.
I DIDN'T HAVE TIME YESTERDAY TO PICK IT UP.
- OH, WELL, I'LL PICK IT UP ON MY WAY TO WORK THEN.
- GOOD.
- OH, HI, IDA.
- HI, JOE.
- LISTEN, MA.
EXCUSE ME, JOE.
- YEAH? - IF YOU'RE GOING TO THE CLEANERS, YOU CAN TAKE ALL THIS STUFF.
- OH, SURE.
- HUH? DROP IT OFF.
- UH-HUH.
- SO, JOE, COULD I MAKE YOU A LITTLE BREAKFAST? - NO, THANKS, IDA, I'LL GRAB A CUP OF COFFEE AND A DOUGHNUT, LIKE I USUALLY DO.
OH.
THANKS, IDA.
SO, RHODA, WHAT DO YOU WAN TO DO ABOUT DINNER, HUH? - WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TIME I'M GONNA BE THROUGH, UH, IF I GET HOME EARLY ENOUGH, I'LL THROW SOMETHING TOGETHER.
WHY DON'T I CALL YOU AT YOUR OFFICE AND LET YOU KNOW.
- THAT'S FINE.
- ALL RIGHT, OK.
- BYE, LOVE.
- OK.
OOH.
- GOT IT? OK? - OOH, I FORGOT TO MAKE LUNCH.
AH, I'LL GRAB IT ON THE WAY.
- OH, ALL RIGHT.
HERE, THERE YOU GO.
- OH, BOY.
AH.
- TAKE CARE.
- RIGHT.
- OH, THAT JOE IS SUCH A DOLL.
- YEAH.
- IT'S TOO BAD YOU'RE GONNA LOSE HIM.
- WHAT? - RHODA, ARE YOU BLIND? DON'T YOU SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING? I MEAN, THE MAN DOESN' TAKE OUT THE LAUNDRY.
THE WOMAN DOES.
- GEE, I MUST'VE MISSED THA IN THE WIFE'S HANDBOOK.
- YOU LET HIM RACE OUT OF HERE WITHOUT ANY BREAKFAST, THEN YOU SAY MAYBE YOU'LL BE ABLE TO THROW SOMETHING TOGETHER FOR DINNER AND HE SAYS HE'S GONNA GRAB SOMETHING FOR LUNCH.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HE'S GONNA GRAB, RHODA, ANOTHER WOMAN.
- MA.
- A CHICK, RHODA, A CHICK THAT'LL COOK, CLEAN, AND TAKE OUT THE LAUNDRY.
- MA, ARE YOU THREATENING TO TAKE JOE AWAY FROM ME? - I HAVE BEEN A MARRIED WOMAN FOR 35 YEARS.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING IT? - 6 MONTHS.
- OH, 6 MONTHS AND LOOK AT THE DIRT IN THIS PLACE.
WHAT'S IT GONNA LOOK LIKE AFTER 35 YEARS? - OH, MA, COME ON, IT'S NOT DIRTY.
IT'S NOT DIRT.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE CLUTTERED, IS ALL.
BESIDES, I'VE HAD A TERRIBLE SCHEDULE.
I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY.
AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE AT 9:00 IN THE MORNING, ANYWAY? - WELL, I THOUGHT THE TWO OF US COULD SPEND THE DAY TOGETHER.
YOU KNOW, SHOPPING, HAVE A LITTLE LUNCH.
- AW, THAT SOUNDS NICE.
IT REALLY SOUNDS LOVELY, BUT I CAN'T.
I GOT TO GO TO WORK.
SORRY.
LISTEN, WHY DON'T YOU CALL UP AUNT ROSE? GO SHOPPING WITH HER.
- OH, NO, YOUR AUNT ROSE IS VISITING YOUR COUSIN JOYCE IN CHICAGO.
- OH.
- SHE HAD ANOTHER BABY, NUMBER 6.
- OH, SHE STOPPED NAMING THEM, HUH? LISTEN, MA, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO SHOPPING BY YOURSELF? - OH, NO, I DO THAT ALL THE TIME.
- WELL, WHY DON'T YOU GO TO THE MUSEUM OF MODERN ART? - NO, THEIR FLOORS ARE TOO SLIPPERY.
- MA, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO DO TODAY? OK, I'M GONNA TELL YOU THE SAME THING YOU USED TO TELL ME WHEN I WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT NOTHING TO DO GO RIDE YOUR BIKE.
- HEY, BABE, I'M SORRY, BUT I JUST REMEMBERED I CAN' TAKE THIS STUFF TO THE CLEANERS.
MY JOB'S IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.
- OH, WELL, LISTEN, I'M LATE FOR THE APPOINTMENT NOW.
I CAN'T TAKE IT.
- AH, WE'LL LEAVE IT.
WORRY ABOUT IT LATER.
- ALL RIGHT.
- BYE-BYE, JOE.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - I CAN TAKE YOUR LAUNDRY.
- MA, I DON'T WANT YOU TAKING MY LAUNDRY.
- DARLING, IT ISN'T ANY TROUBLE FOR ME TO DO THIS FOR YOU.
- DROP IT.
OUT! THERE, LOOK AT ALL THIS STUFF.
IT'S ALL FOR MARTINDALE AND I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH THA OWNER OF THE NEW SHOP ON 3rd AVENUE, YOU KNOW THE ONE THA MAKES THE LEATHER CLOTHES.
- OH, DR.
JACKET AND MR.
HYDE? - YEAH, THAT'S THE ONE.
MYRNA, WHY DON' YOU GO FOR ME? YEAH, PLEASE TAKE THAT APPOINTMENT.
- OH, I'M NOT READY TO MEET ANYBODY.
ANYWAY, YOU KNOW THEM.
I DON'T.
- MYRNA, I DON'T KNOW THEM.
I JUST TALKED TO HYDE A FEW TIMES ON THE PHONE.
NOW, MYRNA, YOU KNOW, YOU CAME IN HERE WANTING TO LEARN THE WINDOW DRESSING TRADE AND SO FAR YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN OU OF THIS OFFICE.
NOT ONCE.
NOW, I'M NOT MINIMIZING WHAT YOU'VE DONE HERE.
IT'S TERRIFIC.
REALLY, YOU'VE ORGANIZED THE WHOLE PLACE, BROUGHT ME BACK MY SANITY, BU THAT'S ONLY HALF THE JOB.
THE OTHER HALF IS GETTING OU THERE, MEETING THE PEOPLE, DRUMMING UP BUSINESS, GETTING ON THE STREETS, HUSTLING.
- I COULDN'T HUSTLE.
- MYRNA, YOU GOT TO.
I MEAN, YOU GOT TO GET OUT THERE AND SHOW 'EM YOUR STUFF.
I HAVE TO.
- YEAH, BUT YOUR STUFF IS BETTER THAN MINE.
- OH, STOP IT, MYRNA, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
LISTEN, I WOULD CONSIDER I A PERSONAL FAVOR IF YOU WOULD DO THIS.
I MEAN, I'D GET HOME AT A DECENT HOUR.
MAYBE HAVE DINNER WITH MY HUSBAND.
CLEAN UP MY APARTMENT.
MAYBE-- - ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO.
- GREAT, THANK YOU.
- UH, WHAT DO I SAY TO HIM, TO MR.
HYDE? - WELL, HE'LL TELL YOU WHA HE WANTS US TO DO AND HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO PAY AND THEN IF I FEELS GOOD TO YOU, WE'LL DO IT.
- UH, DO YOU THINK I SHOULD WEAR SOMETHING MORE BUSINESS-LIKE? - OH, BOY, BOY, WHATEVER THEY'RE COOKING ACROSS THE HALL SURE SMELLS GOOD.
- THEN HOW COME I JUST GOT STRONGER WHEN WE OPENED OUR DOOR? - HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? THE LAUNDRY'S GONE.
- I KNOW.
- AND THE PAPERS AND THE CLOTHES FOR THE CLEANERS.
- JOE, I GOT A FLASH FOR YA.
- WHAT? - YOU KNOW WHAT WE SMELL COOKING ACROSS THE HALL? - YEAH? - IT'S COOKING HERE.
- RHODA, RHODA, JOE, WHILE I WAS AT WORK MY APARTMENT WAS HIT.
- NOW, BRENDA, JUST CALM DOWN.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - DID THEY GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING? - JUST SOME DIRT AND TRASH.
MY PLACE IS IMMACULATE LIKE YOURS.
- WELL, YOU GOT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED HERE.
IDA THE ELF STRUCK AGAIN.
- MA? OF COURSE, IT HAD TO BE MA.
WHO ELSE WOULD'VE WASHED MY LIGHT BULBS? - OH, BOY, I CAN'T GET OVER HOW GREAT THIS PLACE LOOKS.
THAT'S REALLY SWEET OF HER.
YOU KNOW? - SWEET, NOTHING.
JOE, YOU'VE NEVER SEEN MY MOTHER WHEN SHE GETS IN ONE OF HER CLEANING BINGES.
IT'S TERRIFYING.
- AW, COME ON, WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT YOUR MOTHER WANTING TO HELP YOU OUT? - JOE, IF WE LET HER DO IT THIS ONE TIME, SHE'LL WAN TO DO IT FULL TIME.
REALLY, SHE'LL BE HERE CLEANING, COOKING.
DO YOU WANT IDA MORGENSTERN HOLDING A FORK FULL OF PEAS IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE SAYING, "OPEN THE TUNNEL.
HERE COMES THE CHOO-CHOO, WOO-WOO!" - MA MUST'VE UPDATED HER MATERIAL FOR ME.
I GOT, "OPEN THE HANGAR.
HERE COMES THE BLIMP.
" - OH, BRENDA, I KNOW SHE DID THIS OUT OF LOVE, BUT I CAN'T HAVE IT.
I WON'T HAVE MY MOTHER MESSING UP MY LIFE BY CLEANING UP MY MESS.
MA, WHY DID YOU DO THIS? - YOU NOTICED THAT I TIDIED UP.
- TIDIED UP? YOU POLISHED MY PEEPHOLE.
MA, YOU CLEANED UP SO WELL, I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING.
- WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, DARLING, IF THERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN'T FIND, JUST CALL ME.
I KNOW WHERE YOU KEEP EVERYTHING NOW.
EVERYTHING.
RHODA, I THOUGHT I WOULD BE A NICE TOUCH IF JOE THOUGHT THAT YOU STOPPED AND BOUGHT HIS FAVORITE FLOWER.
- OH, I DON'T HAVE A FAVORITE FLOWER, IDA.
- YOU DO NOW, JOE.
- MA, I DON'T WAN YOU TO DO THIS.
DO YOU HEAR WHA I'M SAYING TO YOU? I DO NOT WANT YOU TO DO THIS EVER AGAIN.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU TWO GIRLS.
I REALLY DON'T.
I MEAN, ALL I DID WAS DROP BY AND GIVE YOUR APARTMENTS A QUICK GOING OVER.
I CLEANED YOUR SHAVER.
- UH, MISS, DON'T BE GETTING TIDY WITH MY HUSBAND.
- MA, WE'RE NOT CHILDREN.
WE CAN TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES.
- WELL, THIS FROM A CHILD WHO DIDN'T MAKE HER BED THIS MORNING? - MA, I WAS LATE FOR WORK AND, BESIDES, NO ONE WAS GOING TO SEE IT.
- GOD WILLING.
- SO, JOE, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY MODERN YOUNG WOMEN, HUH? YOU TRY TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR THEM, THEY DON'T APPRECIATE IT.
YOU TRY TO SAVE A MARRIAGE, THEY GET MAD.
- MA, MY MARRIAGE ISN'T IN DANGER.
REALLY, THE MARRIAGE VOW WAS NOT TILL DIRT DO US PART.
JOE, PLEASE TELL HER.
- WELL, SHE'S RIGHT, IDA.
- OH, COME ON, JOE, YOU CAN LEVEL WITH ME.
YOU KNOW RHODA'S WORKING SO HARD THAT SHE DOESN'T GE TO DO ALL THE THINGS THAT A GOOD WIFE SHOULD DO AND IT'S EATING YOU UP INSIDE.
- NO, IDA, REALLY, IT ISN'T.
I'M REALLY GLAD ABOUT RHODA'S CAREER.
YOU SEE, IT'S SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL.
IT'S WHAT MAKES HER MORE INTERESTING.
IF SHE WAS JUST CONTENT TO, I DON'T KNOW, STAY HOME AND DO HOUSEWORK, IT WOULDN'T BE RHODA.
I DON'T THINK I WOULD'VE MARRIED HER.
- I SEE.
SO, IN OTHER WORDS, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS I'M DULL.
- NO! - MA, HE DIDN'T SAY THAT! - I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
- HE DID NOT SAY THAT! - DID HE SAY THAT? - NO, JUST A SECOND NOW.
- THIS IS SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO GET STRAIGHTENED OUT.
I AM NOT THE KIND OF WOMAN YOU WOULD PICK TO MARRY, RIGHT? - OH, MA, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
- MA, YOU CAN'T MAKE JOE ANSWER A QUESTION LIKE THAT.
- ALL RIGHT, I'LL JUS GO BACK UP TO THE BRONX AND DO WHAT I DO BEST, BORE YOUR FATHER.
- AW, MA, PLEASE.
- MA, HERE, LET ME HELP YOU WITH THIS.
- I DON'T NEED ANY HELP.
- MA! - LEAVE ME ALONE.
- LISTEN, IT'S KNOTTED.
I'LL GET A PAIR OF SCISSORS.
- I DON'T WANT YOU TO HELP ME GET ANY KNOTS OUT! - COME ON, MA! - WOULD YOU STOP THAT! - STOP IT, YOU TWO.
IF YOU'LL HOLD STILL, I'LL JUST CUT IT.
- I DON'T NEED YOU TO GET ME OUT OF THIS! - NOW, WHERE IS SHE GOING TO FIND A KNOTSMITH OPEN THIS TIME OF NIGHT? - GOOD MORNING.
- MYRNA, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I MEAN, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THIS LATE BEFORE.
DO YOU KNOW YOUR MOTHER'S CALLED THIS MORNING FOUR TIMES ALREADY? SHE'S VERY WORRIED.
SHE SAID SHE TRIED YOU ALL LAST NIGHT AT HOME AND YOU DIDN'T ANSWER THE PHONE.
WHERE WERE YOU? - LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.
WE GOT THE JOB.
- MYRNA! MYRNA? DID--DID--DID--DID YOU NO, YOU DIDN'T.
YOU COULDN'T.
- DR.
JACKE AND MR.
HYDE IS OURS.
- MYRNA.
NO, MYRNA, MYRNA, THE DAY IS PAST, THANK GOD, WHERE A WOMAN HAS TO DO THIS KIND OF THING TO GET WORK.
I MEAN, LISTEN TO ME, NOW, THIS IS IMPORTANT.
I NEVER WANT YOU TO DO THIS AGAIN, OK? - OK.
- OK.
- BUT WHAT IF HE'S NICE? - DR.
JACKET IS NICE? - MR.
HYDE.
HIS REAL NAME IS OZZY, OZZY DREXLER, AND HE'S NO AT ALL WHAT YOU THINK, RHODA.
HE HAS A VERY TASTEFUL PAD.
- HMM, WELL, LISTEN, MAYBE I JUMPED TO CONCLUSIONS HERE.
I MEAN, BUT, GOSH, ANYBODY THAT CALLS HIMSELF MR.
HYDE.
I MEAN, I PICTURED AN ALL-SUEDE APARTMENT.
YOU KNOW? - OH, IT IS, RHODA, YOU SHOULD SEE IT.
IT'S A PENTHOUSE WITH WALL-TO-WALL LEATHER.
- SOUNDS TERRIFIC, LIKE LIVING IN A PURSE WITH A VIEW.
MA, I WAS JUST CALLING YOU.
I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU ALL MORNING.
I WAS REALLY WORRIED.
- WHAT WERE YOU WORRIED ABOUT, DARLING? - ABOUT LAST NIGHT, WHAT I SAID.
I REALLY--I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS.
I'M REALLY SORRY.
- DON'T BE SORRY.
YOU OPENED MY EYES.
I CAME TO THANK YOU.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - WELL, I MEAN, RHODA, WHAT IS MY LIFE ANYWAY? I GET UP IN THE MORNING.
I COOK YOUR FATHER'S BREAKFAST.
WE EAT.
HE LEAVES, I DUST, VACUUM, MAKE THE BEDS, AND IT'S 9:00 AM.
AND I HAVE THE WHOLE DAY STARING ME IN THE FACE TILL 4:00 PM WHEN IT'S TIME TO PUT THE BRISKET IN.
IT'S NOT A FULL LIFE, RHODA.
IT'S CLEAN, BUT IT'S EMPTY.
- AW, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HERE? I MEAN, YOU MAKE PA VERY HAPPY.
YOU DO.
- IN WHAT WAY? - WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
GEE, MA, I'M NOT WITH YOU EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY.
- WELL, I AM, RHODA, AND BELIEVE ME, I'M BORING.
IF I'D JUST BEEN BORN A LITTLE BIT LATER SO I COULD BE A MEMBER OF THE SISTERHOOD.
I WANT TO BURN A BRA.
- MA, I DON'T THINK THEY'RE DOING THAT ANYMORE, BUT IF I MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD, GO AHEAD AND DO IT.
- NO, YOU CAN'T BURN A LONG-LINE BRA.
THE STAYS WON'T MELT.
- OH, HELLO.
- MA, YOU REMEMBER MYRNA MORGENSTEIN.
- OH, YES, OF COURSE.
HOW ARE YA, MYRNA? WELL, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE YOU AND RHODA GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER.
I REMEMBER YOU GAVE THE VALEDICTORY SPEECH UP ON THE STAGE AND RHODA AND HER FRIEND WERE CUTTING UP IN THE BACK ROW.
AH, YOUR MOTHER AND I SAT TOGETHER.
SHE WAS SO PROUD.
I WAS SO HUMILIATED.
- ROSIE GALLAGHER STARTED IT.
- HMM.
SO, MYRNA, HOW'S YOUR MOTHER? - OH, SHE'S FINE, HAPPY.
- OH, GOOD, WELL, I'LL HAVE TO CALL HER ONE DAY.
WE'LL GO SHOPPING.
- OH, YOU BETTER MAKE I ON THE WEEKENDS OR AT NIGHT.
SHE WORKS.
- OH.
WELL, I'LL CALL HER DURING MY LUNCH HOUR.
- LUNCH HOUR? JUST--WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - I'M TALKING ABOUT LIFE, RHODA.
MY LIFE.
YOU'VE RAISED MY CONSCIOUSNESS.
I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE.
I'M GOING TO BE USEFUL.
I'M GOING TO GO GET A JOB AND A BRA THAT'LL BURN.
[THUNDER.]
[HORNS HONKING.]
- RHO, DO YOU KNOW IF MA'S FOUND A JOB YET? - NO, I DON'T KNOW IF SHE HAS.
- NO? YEAH, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND HER SOMETHING AT THE BANK BUT THE ONLY OPENING IS FOR A GUARD.
I CAN SEE HER NOW.
GREAT UNIFORM, PEARLS, AND A GUN.
[BUZZER.]
- OH.
YEAH, CARLTON? - YEAH, THIS IS CARLTON, YOUR DOORMAN.
- RIGHT, RIGHT.
- I THOUGHT YOU MIGH BE INTERESTED IN KNOWING IT'S RAINING OUT.
- I'M INTERESTED IN KNOWING WHY YOU'RE GIVING ME THIS TIDBI OF INFORMATION.
- 'CAUSE YOUR MOTHER WAS ALL WET WHEN SHE JUST WENT BY.
- I SEE, OK, THANKS, CARLTON.
- YOU MIGHT GET SOME TOWELS AND A SPONGE OUT.
YOU KNOW, FOR A LITTLE PERSON SHE SURE MAKES BIG PUDDLES.
- THANK YOU.
OH, HIYA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE AT THIS HOUR? - WELL, YOUR FATHER WAS WORKING LATE AND I WASN'T SO, UH, I THOUGHT I'D DO A LITTLE SHOPPING WHEN I GOT THROUGH WITH MY WORK AT THE JOB.
AHEM.
BRENDA, I BROUGH YOU SOMETHING.
A LITTLE GIFT.
- WHAT GIFT? - THIS.
- OH, MA.
I ALREADY HAVE AN UMBRELLA.
- YES, WELL, A PERSON CAN' HAVE TOO MANY UMBRELLAS.
I MEAN, LOOK WHA HAPPENED TO ME TODAY.
I LEFT MINE AT HOME WHERE I DON'T WORK AND AT MY JOB, I DIDN'T HAVE ONE WHERE I DO WORK.
- OK, OK, I JUST HAVE TO COME RIGHT OUT AND ASK YA.
- ASK ME WHAT? - MA, WHERE DO YOU WORK? - OH, GIRLS, WHA DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? I MEAN, THE IMPORTANT THING IS THA I HAVE A JOB AND I FEEL FULFILLED AND MY FEE ARE KILLING ME.
- HEY, UNDER THOSE LITTLE RAIN BOOTS, DO I SEE WHITE SHOES, HUH? - ALL SHOES LOOK WHITE THROUGH PLASTIC.
- RED ONES DON'T.
- WHITE, WHITE, OK, MA, COME CLEAN.
YOU'RE EITHER A GOOD HUMOR MAN, A DENTIST, OR A YACHT CAPTAIN.
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YA.
LET ME TAKE MY TIME.
- MA, YOU'RE A BARBIE DOLL.
- I HAVE BEEN SPENDING MY TIME AT SINAI THESE DAYS.
- SINAI? THE MOUNTAIN OR THE HOSPITAL, HUH? - I AM A CANDY STRIPER, AND I LOVE IT.
I GET TO HELP THE NURSES, READ TO THE PATIENTS, HELP SERVE THE FOOD.
I HAND OUT BOOKS, MAGAZINES.
OH, LISTEN IF YOU HAVE ANY OLD BOOKS OR MAGAZINES, WE CAN USE 'EM.
- DEE DEE, THAT'S-- THAT'S YOUR BADGE, HUH? OH, I KNOW.
YOUR STAGE NAME.
- DEE DEE IS THE GIRL I REPLACED.
I NEEDED SOMETHING TO KEEP MY HANDKERCHIEF IN PLACE.
- MA, MA, I AM SORRY THAT I'M LAUGHING, BUT EVERY TIME I LOOK AT YOU I MEANI MEAN, CANDY STRIPERS ARE USUALLY 16 OR 17-YEAR-OLD KIDS.
- THAT'S TRUE.
OF ALL THE GIRLS IN YOUR GROUP, YOU'RE PROBABLY THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE A DATE TO THE PROM.
- ARE YOU THROUGH WITH YOUR LITTLE JOKES? - OH, MA, COME ON.
LISTEN, MA, THIS IS REALLY CUTE.
IT IS.
IT'S VERY SWEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
- IT'S ADORABLE, MA.
- IT'S NOT CUTE AND IT IS NOT ADORABLE! IT'S MY JOB.
MY CAREER.
I'M SORRY I CAN'T BE A NUCLEAR PHYSICIST FOR YOU TWO.
- OH, COME ON, MA, LISTEN.
- NOTHING I DO SATISFIES YOU, DOES IT? WELL, IT'S JUST TOO BAD, BECAUSE THIS IS MY CAREER.
- MA, PLEASE, WE'RE SORRY.
- BREN, ARE YOU GOING OUT TONIGHT? - NO.
- CAN I BORROW YOUR UMBRELLA? - OH, MA, WE'RE SORRY.
MA! - OH.
OH, RHO I THINK WE JUST HUR DEE DEE'S FEELINGS.
- HI, MICKEY, HOW ARE YOU TODAY? - I TOLD YOU I DON' WANT ANY BEETS! - DID YOU TASTE 'EM? - I DON'T HAVE TO TASTE 'EM.
I HATE BEETS! - HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU HATE THEM IF YOU DIDN'T TASTE THEM? - COME ON, COME ON.
- I DON'T WANNA! - YES, YOU'RE GONNA TRY A FEW.
COME ON, ALL RIGHT, I'LL TASTE SOME FIRST.
MMM, NUM, NUM, IS THAT GOOD.
OK, NOW YOU TRY.
- YOU DIDN'T REALLY TASTE 'EM! - I'M NOT REALLY SICK.
YOU ARE, NOW, COME ON.
CHEW! THAT'S BETTER.
- HI, MA.
- OH, HELLO.
- HELLO.
- LISTEN, YOU MENTIONED THAT YOU NEEDED BOOKS HERE AT THE HOSPITAL SO WE FIGURED WE'D COME DOWN AND BRING YOU A FEW.
- YEAH, HERE, MA.
- "JOY OF COOKING" "EVERY WOMAN CAN" "HOW TO AVOID PROBATE.
" - WELL, MA, SEE, WE JUS PICKED 'EM AT RANDOM.
THEY'RE AN EXCUSE.
WE REALLY--WE CAME TO SEE YOU.
- OH, YOU NEEDED ANOTHER GOOD LAUGH, HUH? - NO, MA, WE CAME TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU.
WE'RE REALLY SORRY WE HURT YOU.
WE REALLY DIDN'T MEAN TO GIVE YOU SUCH A HARD TIME.
- ME EITHER, DEE DEE.
YOU GIRLS, WHO ARE PICKED, DO A GREAT JOB.
- WELL, THANKS, MICKEY.
NOW, YOU DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YA? - YOU NAME IT.
- BUTTON IT UP, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A LITTLE TALK.
- MA, CAN WE GO SOME PLACE AND TALK IN PRIVATE? - OH, SURE.
COME ON.
- LOOK, MA, WE THINK IT'S REALLY SWEET OF YOU TO BE DOING SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
- WELL, DON'T MAKE ME SOUND SO NOBLE.
I WANT TO TELL YOU BOTH SOMETHING I'VE NEVER TOLD ANYBODY IN MY LIFE, INCLUDING YOUR FATHER.
WELL, UH WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL I, UH WHEN I WAS A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL, THE WAR WAS REALLY RAGING IN EUROPE THEN, SO I TOOK A JOB IN A DEFENSE PLAN SO I COULD SERVE MY COUNTRY AND HOPEFULLY MEE A COUPLE OF CUTE GUYS, YOU KNOW.
BUT, UH, THINGS HAPPEN DURING WAR TIME AND, WELL, I DON'T KNOW, PEOPLE DO THINGS THAT THEY DON'T ORDINARILY DO UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES.
THINGS THAT THEY HAVE TO LIVE WITH ALL THROUGH THEIR LIVES.
OH, IF YOUR FATHER EVER FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS, IT'LL KILL HIM.
- MA, WHAT IS IT? JUST WHATEVER IT IS, YOU TELL US.
- YES.
- YES.
- THE UGLY TRUTH OF IT IS I NEVER FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL.
- AW, MA, IS THAT WHA THIS IS ALL ABOUT? OH, WOW.
- BUT, WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE STORIES ABOUT YOU DANCING WITH JOHNNY DELVECCHIO TO "THE HUT SUT SONG"? - DO YOU THINK I LIKE THIS LIFE? LIVING THIS LIE? - OHH.
- OH, MA, IT'S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.
POP LOVES YOU.
WE LOVE YOU.
A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.
- WELL, NOW AT LEAS YOU KNOW WHY I'M HERE.
I NEEDED A JOB TO BE COMPLETE AND WITHOU A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA, I WAS LUCKY TO GET THIS.
- BUT, MA, YOU WORKED BEFORE YOU WERE MARRIED.
- YEAH, BUT THERE AREN' TOO MANY OPENINGS FOR WHAT I USED TO DO.
- WHAT'D YOU DO? - I WAS A BOMB SITE INSPECTOR.
- MA, YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS JUST BECAUSE SOME WOMEN FEEL THEY HAVE TO HAVE A CAREER.
- YEAH, BRENDA'S RIGHT.
SEE, MA, FOR ME, I DON'T KNOW, IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT FOR ME NOT TO HAVE A CAREER, BU IF IT'S RIGHT FOR YOU NOT TO, THAT'S TERRIFIC.
- AND YOU TWO WOULD STILL THINK THAT I WAS COMPLETE? - OH, ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU ARE THE MOS COMPLETE WOMAN I KNOW.
- ANY MORE COMPLETE AND YOU'D BE TWO PEOPLE.
- REALLY? - REALLY.
- OHH.
OH, ABSOLUTELY.
COME ON, NOW.
AND LISTEN, IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS JOB OH, THANKS, MA, WHA I'D DO WITHOUT YOU IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS JOB, YOU CAN QUIT, ANY TIME YOU WANT.
- QUIT? - SURE.
- QUIT A VITAL JOB LIKE THIS? I'M DOING THINGS HERE I NEVER EVEN GOT TO DO AS A MOTHER OR A HOUSEWIFE.
WELL, MICKEY, DID YOU CLEAN OFF YOUR PLATE? - WELL, I LEFT A FEW CARROTS.
- UH-HUH, WELL, OPEN THE PAD, HERE COMES THE ROCKET.
- MICKEY, DO YOURSELF A FAVOR, EAT THE CARROTS.
- OR THERE'LL BE NO TV.
- RIGHT, MA? - OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
- HI, RHODA.
- HIYA, MA.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ALL THE BOOKS? YOU GOING TO MEDICAL SCHOOL? - NO, HIGH SCHOOL, NIGHTS.
I MEAN, I CAN'T BE A CANDY STRIPER FOREVER.
ANYWAY, I'VE GOT AMBITIONS AND I ONLY NEED THREE CLASSES TO GET MY DIPLOMA.
LATIN, AMERICAN HISTORY, AND GYM.
- HA HA, TERRIFIC.
- HELLO, EVERYBODY.
- HI.
- HIYA, MYRNA.
- WOW, MYRNA, THAT'S VERY LEATHERY.
- OZZY GAVE IT TO ME.
- GEE, I LIKE THAT A LOT.
YOU THINK YOU COULD GET ME ONE? - ARE YOU KIDDING? I COULD GET YOU A DOZEN.