The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s01e24 Episode Script

1
Practicing? Good for you,
but it's almost time for the real show.
No, Michael, this is just my habit.
Magic isn't about the gimmicks.
It's about the technique
that makes gimmicks imperceptible.
I always keep these on hand,
so I won't get rusty.
You've come a long way, Master Chono.
You too, Michael.
We're not doing any dove magic today.
I always have them prepped just in case.
There's no need.
Mr. Chono, you're on
What's with these doves?
We don't need doves or practice anymore.
Kusuo! Hey!
-You must have hit your head. Let me see.
-I didn't.
Don't you know "Amazing"?
-It's a popular catchphrase.
-I don't know and I don't care.
Watch.
-Amazing! See?
-Go to work.
Look, it's this guy.
That magician from TV and commercials.
It's them. Uryoku Chono and Mr. Ike.
I can't believe you don't know him.
I mean, that's
You're ruining it.
I know that too.
I've seen him, too.
-A bunch of lamebrains.
-You're still here?
-How can you not know them?
-So that's how famous they have become.
When we first met, they were just
a bad illusionist and his assistant.
Who knew they would succeed?
Life is a mystery.
Ku, a letter came for you.
From someone named Mr. Chono.
Dear Master, how are you?
I will soon be performing
a solo magic show in your neighborhood.
I would like you to attend.
You will see how much I've changed
since those days when I was such
a nuisance to you.
-Please come.
-We are about to begin.
I'm looking forward to seeing
-how much he's improved.
-Fill the world with amazingness!
-Amazing!
-Goodness.
Well, the crowd's really into it.
-Where's my assistant?
-Oh, I see, that was just a little joke.
Hurry up, Michael!
Here I am.
You're late. What were you
It took me a while to choose a chainsaw.
We're not using that thing.
Come on, let's try it.
Just for the top half.
It will cut me right in two.
-What have you got to lose?
-My life!
There's my chance!
BOOM
-He's so funny!
-What is this?
-It's not a magic show.
-Next
-Shortstop magic.
-Baseball.
Wow, the ball is floating
because your finger is stuck in it.
Yay!
I see. He has definitely changed
from before.
Did you see how we've advanced, Master?
We put an element of humor
into our magic show.
As you know, we used to mess up a lot.
Then one day we realized
that messing up earns us laughs.
So we tried combining magic and humor.
And we became famous in a flash.
I wasn't able to become
a first-class magician like you.
We've contented ourselves with this.
I see. Well, keep doing your best.
Master!
It's better this way.
I don't have to ask to know
what they are worrying about.
Messing up to get laughs
You could interpret
that as abandoning their dreams.
Those two are too hung up on it.
It doesn't even matter.
Succeeding as a comedian
is just as difficult.
I'm so pissed!
Why am I opening for that trash?
He can't even do magic.
Who does he think he is?
Who was that?
An acquaintance of his.
He called him master.
Hey, you! You are Chono's master?
You're so young to be a master.
Can you show me some of that magic tricks?
I'm not his master.
I've got a ball, your specialty.
Don't ignore me. Do something!
-It stopped.
-It's floating.
Why are you shocked?
Didn't you want to see magic?
This is just magic.
Nothing to worry about.
-What's going on?
-Master
Good grief. I guess I'm immature too.
Master! We have prepared ourselves.
We will do our best!
All right. Become a first-class comedian.
-We will focus only on magic.
-What?
We were moved by your spectacular magic.
We want to become magicians like you.
You don't have the talent.
Just do the other thing.
Whatever.
You have no talent for comedy either.
Good morning, Kokomi.
Chiyo! It's been a while.
-What the
-"A while"? I see you every day.
That's right. What am I saying?
-Is something wrong?
-No, nothing.
I definitely shouldn't say anything.
-It's winter already.
-Right.
It's not like she doesn't know already.
But maybe sharing my objective view
Kokomi, what is it?
What? Nothing.
Are you sure? You're acting differently.
-It's all good.
-Should I say it?
Seeing herself every day
may have blunted her senses.
Did you gain weight or something?
Now she's just tormenting herself.
But maybe it's a chance to say something.
Actually, Chiyo
Ouch! Chisato, don't bite me!
-Sorry,
-I missed my chance.
-I'm starved.
-That was my time to say something.
Don't eat me.
Sorry, I thought I saw
a pig walking on its hind legs.
That's too direct, Mera!
A pig? That's harsh.
A youthful, plump girl like me
What? Plump? Have I gained weight?
She hadn't realized.
SUNDAY
I thought it would be nice
to read outside for a change.
-I must
-So much for my peace and quiet.
I'd better hide. That's Yumehara's voice.
Who's that?
That's Yumehara? What is up with her?
The girl I know doesn't sound like that
when she breathes.
BOING
Or when she falls.
It seems like her. But what on earth
You bastard!
So, I'm a weak character?
Don't make me grow literally!
The exertion seems
to have confused her brain.
Has she calmed herself down?
Why is it so hard to lose weight?
That's why.
Why am I unconsciously eating?
I thought I put these snacks away.
Don't bring snacks at all.
This is no good. Forget jogging,
on to strength training.
First, 30 sit-ups. No, 50!
All right! Here I go!
Any second! Right now!
-Five, four
-She can't work up the nerve.
I need to start now!
Ten, nine Okay, here I go!
Ready, set
All she did was lie down.
-Good grief. It's not just her body.
-I can't get myself up.
-Her mind has gotten lazy too.
-I need some snack.
Maybe if I hold potato chips
between my knees
That would be a net loss.
Yumehara is never going
to lose weight like this.
I can tell by looking into her brain.
-I want to eat more.
-Her head is full of food.
I'm under no obligation to help her,
but seeing her current state
I'll just stay like this.
Yumehara, have you gained weight lately?
Kaido? No, you've got it wrong.
I didn't get fat, just bigger.
Did I hallucinate?
Hey, I'm doing a sit-up.
You sat forward, that's all.
I know you have a crush on Kaido,
so I sent you his voice using telepathy.
That's right,
what if Kaido saw me like this?
If you send a voice
into someone's imagination,
they will unknowingly complete it
with an image of that person.
Yumehara, I don't like fat girls.
He would hate me!
-No, I need to lose weight.
-Now I can leave the rest to her.
I got completely absorbed.
Time to go home.
I'll read the rest there.
-What the
-One thousand five.
-She's still at it?
-One thousand six.
One thousand six?
Unbelievable, but it must be true
-because she's already lost weight.
-One thousand seven.
-I had no idea his voice
-One thousand eight.
would elicit this effect.
-Her abs might explode.
-I'll do it right away!
Let's peek inside her head.
What is this? Kaido World?
-She's imagining Kaido watching her.
-Too slow now!
I'm sorry.
At this rate,
you're going to be a pig forever.
-I hate pigs
-Kaido has been upgraded too.
-I'm sorry!
-Be born again as a human, not a pig.
Once you're human again,
I'll hold you tight
until the morning light.
-Who is that?
-Scold me more.
It won't work if she likes being scolded.
Give up already!
TEMPTATION
-Dinnertime!
-What an awful cast.
-Let's eat.
-Stay away!
-Don't let him get to you!
-Kaido.
Hang in there, Chiyo.
Let's show them the power of our love.
Yes!
She's losing weight anyway.
That's good, right?
SEVERAL DAYS LATER
-She lost weight.
-She's thinner than before.
You think so?
And now she has
the strongest abs on earth.
I lost it all through the power of love.
I'm inspired to confess my love to Kaido.
Yumehara.
Can I ask you a favor?
Yes sir, anything!
She upgraded herself
from a pig to a servant.
-Did you do the homework?
-What's next?
A ten-minute break
To a normal human,
it's a joyful time
that they can be released from pain.
To me, it's the most painful time of all.
-Saiki!
-First, it's Kaido.
These threw my mind
into turmoil in class just now.
Trigonometric functions.
I need to borrow your brain
to complete this proof from hell.
Start by studying how to ask
for help with studying.
Now I get it.
I'm surrounded by obnoxious fools
like this guy during break times.
-Saiki!
-Who is it now?
-Do you want to play dodgeball?
-No.
It's fun and the weather's good. Come on.
It's not lunch break yet.
How will you play it in ten minutes?
Saiki, you're not snacking?
No. Go away.
Hey, Saiki. Let's go chat on the stairs
or on the roof.
Why not here?
Hey, pal!
Pal! Hey, pal!
If you don't need anything, go away.
A poor man never has free time.
But I do, so I came to school.
Then go study.
What's that by the gate?
We're on location nearby.
I snuck out to see Kokomi.
A suspicious person. I should report him.
This isn't the kindergarten? Where am I?
You are here ten years early.
I want to talk to Yumehara.
Then go find Yumehara.
Saiki! Help me meet up
with this girl again.
I hate to see Toritsuka happy,
but he's not bothering anyone.
Let's ignore him.
When did you take that video?
Saiki
Teruhashi! How was the class?
I bought this juice for you!
-What's tomorrow's forecast?
-Sucks for her too.
-Have you seen the key to my bike?
-Who are you? Get out.
Saiki. It's your teacher.
Your teacher is your teacher.
The lack of screen time is getting to you.
Hey, Kusuo. How are you?
Oh, you're not here?
You're trying way too hard.
That's the AV room.
No one's there now.
-Bring me some food!
-Give me a break.
Saiki, come with me after school.
It's time for a hunt.
A strange-looking person
has entered our town.
Don't come back for a second round.
In your seats, everyone.
She shows up a lot,
so she needed a change.
Class is about to start.
-Okay.
-At last, I can relax.
Saiki, please answer this question.
Of course, I can't. It's time for class.
In any case, everyone around me
is acting weird lately.
Hey, pal! Let's go home together.
Little guy here wants
to talk about tomorrow.
-What?
-You idiot!
What are you saying? No!
-But it's our pal's
-Come on, let's go.
Sorry, Saiki.
We have an errand to run today.
-See you, Saiki.
-What?
GLANCE
I figured it out.
It's a new type of bullying.
Gosh! That idiot, Nendo had me worried.
That was close.
He almost ruined the whole plan.
You too, Chiyo.
I was careless.
I'll be more careful next time.
Where is Nendo?
I sent him home.
He can't follow this plan
with his stupidity.
It's better this way.
We've been preparing for a week.
Failure is unacceptable.
Our strategy meeting starts now.
The Saiki Birthday Surprise Strategy.
Tomorrow's the day.
See? Evil bullying. I can't believe it.
After class ends,
Aren and I will get Saiki.
-You want to come over?
-I sure do!
I invite him over to my house.
We don't mention his birthday.
When we get to the house
I'll get some drinks.
Aren brings Saiki to the room.
What? It's all dark.
At the right moment,
Aren pulls the cracker.
That's the signal.
-Happy birthday!
-Happy birthday!
And I appear with the cake. Perfect!
I wonder what his face will look like.
Like this.
Good grief. What a pain in the neck.
What should I do?
I bet it will look like this.
Get past it by acting like
a surprised idiot, like Yumehara?
No, he will be so surprised
that he will do this.
-Don't overdo it.
-Hilarious!
No, like this!
-That's way too much.
-That much?
Maybe he will do this instead.
Do what now?
I actually am surprised,
although not to that level.
Kaido, I'm impressed
that you figured out Saiki's birthday.
I ran into his mother in town
the other day, so I asked her.
-Hey, you're Ku's friend!
-So, it was Mom.
-I've planned his birthday party.
-That is truly unfortunate.
Saiki thinks we don't know.
He will definitely be surprised.
Yes. I am.
Actually, my birthday
is not tomorrow. It's in August.
Picking up where we left off,
tomorrow is not my birthday.
KUSUO SAIKI (BORN ON AUGUST 16TH)
That's why I couldn't stop them sooner.
I never expected it was for my birthday,
when that's three months off.
That was the true surprise.
Tomorrow is the birthday of someone
-who has nothing to do with you.
-Thank you very much!
You plan has failed,
and you've got the date wrong.
It's time to end this pointless farce.
If they learn it's not my birthday,
their plans will fall apart.
The preparations will go to waste,
but don't blame me.
By the way, did everybody get a present?
Of course!
-I got one.
-Me too.
This makes things difficult.
But I haven't received them yet.
Hairo, what did you buy?
This? I didn't buy it.
I carved this Buddha out of wood.
I thought of Saiki with every chisel.
It was my first try,
so I messed up several times.
That's amazing!
Even worse. And I don't want it.
Made with loving care?
But we won't be beaten.
That's right.
Ta-da! The model for our birthday cake.
Kokomi and I will make it.
What is that? Gross.
-Really? Wow!
-It's amazing!
It's amazingly similar to a severed head.
Oh man! If it were me,
I would definitely cry.
-I'd sob.
-Handmade by Teruhashi!
Handmade by Teruhashi!
Hey, what about me?
Oh, gosh. Thank goodness
they haven't made it yet.
Now's my chance to tell them.
But we went to a lot of trouble too.
What?
Right, Mera? Let's show them.
-It was a lot of work.
-What did you two do?
It's been a while, Master. Happy birthday!
-Video letters? What is this?
-We collected messages from his friends.
-And thus, Saito
-The principal?
-Happy birthday!
-He got my name wrong.
That awful musician from the manga?
He wasn't in the anime,
so he has no voice.
-Hey, you
-Who the hell are you?
That Saiki guy doesn't
have many acquaintances.
-People were reluctant to participate.
-Who would enjoy watching that?
This is great, guys.
You've prepared so many things.
I only have my present.
That's right.
Did I do something to deserve this?
This is harassment in the name
of kindness.
Although I will say I wrote a letter.
-You liar.
-Read it, read it.
-No, I'm too shy.
-It's okay.
-Come on. Let me hear it.
-It's probably some emo poem.
"Dear Saiki,
It's a little embarrassing
to write a letter to you,
but this is a special occasion,
so I went for it.
I feel like we have made so many memories,
it's hard to believe we only met
half a year ago, in terms of screen time.
You drew everyone here together.
That may be a weird thing to say,
but that's how I feel.
It's strange, but sometimes,
I feel like I'm under your protection.
Thank you for being born.
Happy Birthday. From Shun Kaido."
What's gotten into him?
That was great, Shun!
I was moved.
Good grief.
I give up. Do whatever you want.
THE NEXT DAY, BIRTHDAY
Saiki went home?
-And he had cleaning duty too.
-Crap. What do we do now?
I can't believe he would skip out
on cleaning duty.
Do we need to put a stop to it?
Not after all this. Time for plan Beta.
-"Plan Beta"?
-"Plan Beta"?
I'll explain again.
First, we ring Saiki's doorbell.
When he comes out,
we all pull the crackers.
The Emotional Saiki Plan.
It's my first time hearing it.
What if someone else answers?
We will explain and make them let us in.
THUMP
Happy birthday, Saiki!
-Happy birthday!
-What? What is this?
-Today's your birthday, right?
-Yes, but
-Surprise!
-Did we get you?
What? You came to celebrate my birthday?
-That's right!
-You're slow on the uptake.
Good grief. That was
a pretty good reaction.
Of course, it's not me.
It's Dad.
You know my birthday?
-Of course, Saiki.
-"Saiki"?
I hypnotized them into thinking it's me.
-I didn't tell Dad what was coming,
-Anyway,
-so his surprised reaction was perfect.
-thank you!
All right, now that
the surprise is taken care of,
-I'll explain to Dad.
-Things are in full swing. Hey, pal!
How come there are two of you?
Surprise.
What on earth
Oh, a mirror.
Hey! I heard it's your birthday.
Nendo, you came too?
-He managed it.
-Good thing he's dumb.
The surprise party
that started from a misunderstanding
is still going.
Thank you all so much.
I never would have expected
Kusuo's friends to celebrate my birthday.
-I'm deeply moved.
-Of course.
You're our friend. Happy birthday.
Yes, Saiki!
It's weird that they don't say mister,
but I'm still happy.
-Congrats.
-These kids are celebrating for me,
even though we've never met before.
Come on!
It's a matter of time before they realize.
I have to explain to Dad.
-By the way, Saiki, are your parents home?
-Crap. He stepped right in it.
-My parents? They don't live here.
-Really?
My mother lives in the family home,
and my father is no longer with us.
-Your dad died?
-You're dead.
I'm sorry. We didn't know.
I'm sorry for your loss.
It's fine. It was a long time ago.
You move on fast.
Come upstairs.
-Is that Kusuo?
-Kusuo?
Shit
-I need to take a shit. Be right back.
-Don't turn my name into "shit"!
Oh, I see. I That's what I thought.
I thought it was strange.
You were totally into it.
The surprise is over,
so you want to switch places?
No. Keep going.
You want me to keep pretending?
It's not my birthday.
I can't pretend that it is.
I'm not you, Kusuo.
I can't pretend that I am.
I'm counting on you.
I can't respond to their kindness.
Pretend to be Kusuo.
Good grief. Sorry for the wait.
Good grief!
-I don't say good grief that much.
-Jeez.
What's wrong?
We're really sorry for acting so happy
when your father has passed away.
He's not dead!
He's not?
It was a joke.
To pay you back for the surprise.
You shouldn't joke about that.
I agree. It's not right
to joke about such things.
He didn't mean to do that.
-Sorry.
-Forgive him.
-Well, anyway
-Look! We finished the cake.
It turned out great.
Especially the face.
-Oh, no.
-Oh, no.
Oh, no.
It got smashed in transit.
-But the feeling's there anyway.
-Yes!
-It looks good!
-What is this? Poop?
-You shut up!
-I'll make another.
There's no choice.
Psychokinesis!
-What do you mean, "poop"?
-Look, the cake's coming back.
The sponge cake must be rebounding.
Good grief.
Wow, this is amazing.
Right? Kokomi and I made it.
-I bet Kusuo's happy about this.
-Kusuo?
No, what I was trying to say was
Kusuo sure is happy about this.
He's become that embarrassing person
who talks in the third person.
Just you wait. You'll really be moved.
We have a surprise for you too.
-Ta-da! Video
-Video letter.
Oh, no. That's no good.
Sorry, Saiki. Go on, hit me.
Don't take responsibility.
Everyone, hit me.
-That's going too far.
-Good grief.
-That time if we didn't have
-Hey, look!
-We could've died.
-It's fixed.
Look, Saiki.
Good grief. I really don't know that guy.
All right! Raise a glass
and let's start the feast.
-Cheers!
-Cheers!
Oh, there you are.
Your dad's a star! What do I do?
Good for you.
One of those high school girls
even fed me earlier.
And the high school boys
made you kneel before them.
Well? You want to switch soon?
No, thanks. Hurry back, now.
I would only be a buzzkill.
So what?
Go on, Kusuo.
You must feel some gratitude toward them.
You didn't want to hurt their feelings,
so you asked me to cover for you.
But that's not right.
They all came here for you, Kusuo.
Even if you do hurt their feelings,
you should go to them.
Who do you think you are to lecture me?
I'm your father!
That was a big success.
Saiki seemed really happy
about everything.
I've never seen him so energetic.
-That's true.
-Now, how do I get rid of them?
Yes, but something
didn't seem quite right.
That's true.
It was fun, but something wasn't right.
The walls around him
feel stronger than ever.
I think I get it.
Maybe he was trying too hard
to go along with us.
Oh, no. That's terrible.
He should just be himself.
Good grief. You're the ones
who are out of whack.
-What took you so long, pal?
-The party goes on.
-Hooray!
-Hooray!
Subtitle translation by Katherine Lundy