The Garfield Show (2008) s01e24 Episode Script

1
-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]
[upbeat theme song playing]
-[Garfield] Hee-hee!
-[remote clicks]
So you think you can rob a bank
and get away with it?
[alarm ringing]
When will you criminals learn
that you are no match
for Ultra Powerful Guy?
[robber shrieks]
Whoaaaaa!
Once again, I have saved the day
and brought justice to the world.
Boy, Ultra Powerful Guy
sure has a high opinion of himself.
Garfield, could I have a potato chip?
No.
But I guess if you are perfect
and admired, it's hard to be humble.
Here. Have a potato chip.
Thanks, Garfield.
Ohh!
Hey, I don't need your snacks.
I'm so cute, I can get it on my own.
This I gotta see.
Meow.
Are my eyes deceiving me
or is that the cutest kitty I ever saw?
He's so adorable.
Here, let's give him
an entire pepperoni pizza
with mushrooms and Canadian bacon.
Sorry, Garf.
I don't have a slice to share.
If Ultra Powerful Guy came by,
I bet you'd have a slice for him.
Idea happening.
Where's that long underwear of Jon's?
Now, I'm gonna need a towel
and some boots.
[laughing]
Didn't know I was this handy, did you?
Here you go, boy. A nice dish of sardines.
Beware, evildoers.
You thought you could get away
with your evildoing,
but you failed to reckon
with the awesome might of
Ultra Powerful Guy.
Wow!
Citizen, have you seen
any evildoers around here?
Huh-uh.
I'm searching
for the villainous Doctor Drastic.
He's a master of disguise
and I have reason to believe
he's currently made himself look
like this.
[gasps]
But don't be afraid.
He's only dangerous when he spreads around
his disastrous Omega 3 explosive devices
which he makes to look like harmless
but delicious sardines.
[whimpering]
Great Scott! That diabolical villain.
Fear not, citizen.
Ultra Powerful Guy is on the job.
I shall dispose of these dangerous items.
Up up and away!
[sighs]
Hi, boy. How were those sardines?
-[snarling]
-Odie, what's wrong? Odie, stop!
-[barking]
-It's me, Jon! Jon!
[slurping]
Mmmm!
Oh, gosh, wish I had a napkin. Oh, wait.
I always wondered
why superheroes needed capes.
Now I know.
I wonder if there are any cat shows
I could enter today and, of course, win.
[laughs]
Let's see.
Calculators, caterers, caterpillars
Here we go. Cat shows.
It's two o'clock.
I'll win it and be home by 3:00.
Hey. Hey, it's stuck!
Hey, I'm trapped in this phone booth.
Help, I'm stuck in this phone booth! Help!
This looks like a job
for Ultra Powerful Guy.
Here I come to save the day!
-Ouch!
-You saved me. Who are you?
[sighs] Don't you recognize me?
[thud!]
I thought everyone knew
Ultra Powerful Guy!
Wha?
I fly, I leap over tall buildings
in a single bound.
I eat, which reminds me.
All this super-heroing stuff
has made me work up an appetite.
Could you show your appreciation by
[whispering]
Sure.
It's the least I can do
for Ultra Powerful Guy.
[Garfield snickers]
Meow.
Meow.
What a cute cat.
Here, take this plate
of spaghetti and meatballs.
-[Nermal] Here you go, UPG.
-Thanks.
-[purrs]
-Do you mind? I'm trying to eat here.
-Oh, sorry. See ya later, superhero.
-[Garfield laughs]
[slurping]
-[burp]
-Now that's how you eat spaghetti, kids.
None of this "twirling on a fork" jazz.
You know what kind of dessert
goes after spaghetti?
Any kind of dessert.
My, what an incredibly cute cat.
Say, incredibly cute cat,
have you seen two men around here?
They're wanted criminals.
Sorry. Haven't seen anyone.
This is great.
I'll rescue Nermal again
and have his cute magic reward me
with a couple of pies.
[straining]
Here we go.
Hey, slow down!
I have to get to him before you.
-Citizen! Look out!
-[Nermal screams]
Ohh!
I'll protect you
from that runaway dumpster!
Whoaaaa! Ouch!
Whoo! Stop this thing!
Help!
I'm telling you, Joe,
this is the time to rob that bank.
And I'm tellin' you, Moe,
not with Ultra Powerful Guy around.
-That guy is too, he's too
-Ultra powerful?
That's the word. He can do anything.
[Garfield screaming]
Anything except stop
a runaway trash dumpster.
[Joe] Apparently.
[Garfield] No! No! Help!
Whoaaaa!
That didn't look
very ultra powerful to me.
Me neither.
I'll bet Batman
doesn't get banana peels in his mask.
-Hey, Moe, you see that?
-I see, I see.
Ultra Powerful Guy without his mask.
He's a, he's a
-Cat!
-Kind of a fat one, too.
Gotta hurry. I have dessert coming.
[chuckles] Just think, we know
Ultra Powerful Guy's secret identity.
And we know his weakness. He is a cat.
-Let's go rob ourselves a bank.
-Let us.
[Garfield] It's real simple.
I saved your life. I get a reward.
Aren't superheroes
supposed to fight for truth and justice?
Yeah. We do all that stuff.
But sometimes we also need pie.
Now, get on with it.
Banana cream
with some chocolate sprinkles.
All right.
I'll put on my best "banana cream pie
with chocolate sprinkles" cuteness.
Ahem. Meow.
My goodness! I've never seen
a cuter cat in all my life.
Here's a chocolate cream pie
with banana sprinkles.
-Ha ha!
-[Garfield, sighing] Close enough.
[Nermal] Oooh!
Wow, you're kind of a disappointment,
Ultra Powerful Guy.
Not now. I have pie.
Ohh!
Gee! Ultra Powerful Guy
wasn't that impressive.
I wish I could have seen him
do something really ultra powerful.
Huh?! Oh, no! A bank robbery!
What do I do?
I know. This looks like a job for
Ultra Powerful Guy!
Hey!
But I keep telling you,
I don't do bank robbers.
You know what I'm good at?
Get me another pie.
You're a superhero! It's your duty to foil
those nasty bank robbers.
I don't suppose you guys would
stop in the name of the law?
It's Ultra Powerful Guy!
Ha ha! We ain't afraid
of Ultra Powerful Guy.
'Cause we know his secret
and that we can defeat him with
This.
What is that?
[Moe] You don't know what it is?
It's a catnip mouse.
[Joe] Which is every cat's weakness.
Doesn't do anything for me.
Maybe if you had one stuffed with lasagna.
-It ain't working.
-Let's get outta here with the loot.
[Nermal laughing]
Great Scott! This looks like a job for
Ultra Powerful guy!
Hey! You closed the door on my cape!
[Garfield screaming]
Help! Ouch!
Whoo! Whoaaaaa!
Hey, wait, stop!
Cape caught! Yoo-hoo! Whoa! Help!
Yoo-hoo! Help! Mayday! Stop, please!
Never once happened to Batman, trust me.
Stop the car, save a cat!
[screams]
-End of the road for you three!
-[Garfield] Help!
[Garfield] Two! There are two of them!
Honest, I'm just sort of a tag-along
or pull-along. I don't count.
What?
-[Garfield screams]
-[clang!]
-Nice work, cat.
-[crowd cheering]
If you hadn't delayed them,
I never would have caught them.
That was awesome, Ultra Powerful Guy!
You were just amazing and hey.
Which one of you is Ultra Powerful Guy?
-I am.
-I am.
Oh, come on.
Which one of you is Ultra Powerful Guy?
-I am.
-I am.
This is not fair; one of you is
the real Ultra Powerful Guy, which is it?
-I am.
-I am.
Come on, okay.
Which one of you
is the real Ultra Powerful Guy?
-I am.
-I am.
[Nermal] This is impossible.
Alright guys, last time,
which one of you is the real UPG, hit me.
-I am.
-I am.
Yaaaaaa!
[laughs]
"Don't miss
the new Sunday buffet at Vito's.
Best pizza in the whole universe!"
Sounds good.
[Odie] What's in there?
Must be that brand-new waffle machine
I ordered last week
on the shopping channel.
[Odie] Ohh!
-Yeah, but What?
-[Odie] Huh?
Where's my waffle machine?
They must have mixed up orders.
-[crash!]
-[sniffing]
Now I'm officially miffed!
"Telepathic helmet.
World's first telepathic gadget
that allows you to read
other people's minds.
Batteries included, made in China,"
blah-blah-blah.
Bogus, fake. phony. Unsightly.
Hey, what the?
Well, I might as well give it a try.
Let's see, "Flip the power switch to 'on.'
Then find someone and use the green knob
to tune into their most inner thoughts."
-Huh?
-[Garfield laughs]
[gears clattering]
Maybe I need to crank up the volume a bit.
[gears clattering]
Knew it! This stuff doesn't work.
Just like those silly "X-ray glasses"
they sell in comic book
[Jon] Need cup of coffee now.
Whoa! Who would have thought
that this stupid helmet actually works?
[barks]
Ahh! Should have known better
than to use Odie to set the volume.
That dog is totally brainless.
[gasps]
Hiya, here's your favorite,
freshly baked morning lasagna.
-Ha ha. Uh Uh
-[helmet gears clattering]
[Jon] I hope he won't notice
I cooked him some
Frozen lasagna, huh?
Did you really think
you could get away with this? Please.
I can explain.
The grocer was out of cheese.
[Jon] That cat is way too smart.
Lucky he doesn't know about the
carrot cake behind the milk carton
[Garfield] Meow!
[gasps]
[child] Stop treating me like a baby.
I can cross the street by myself,
I'm five years old!
-Ohh!
-[Garfield laughs]
[woman] He never looks at me.
[man] I'm so in love with her.
[chuckles]
[Nermal] I'm the cutest cat
in the whole wide world.
[humming]
I'd know that thought from anywhere.
Hi, Nermal.
That ice cream sure looks yummy.
Do you mind if I have a lick?
Actually, I would.
I've been selected as one of the finalists
in the "Cutest Cat Pageant"
and I don't wanna catch anyone's germs
before the final judging.
Especially yours.
[Nermal] And if Garfield doesn't notice
I'm wearing eyeliner,
maybe the judges won't know either.
Hey, Nermal, those contests
usually have a rule against makeup.
It would be a shame if the judges
found out you were wearing eyeliner.
How did you know about the eyeliner?
I didn't tell anyone!
[Nermal] Ohh!
[Garfield humming]
[alien] I really doubt
we'll find it on Earth.
This planet is way too primitive.
We must report
to Emperor KaAl'Zone at once.
Meet me in the alley.
And make sure no one follows you.
Affirmative.
Hmm. I have no idea what they're up to,
but I'd better keep an eye on them.
Whoa!
[energy pulsing]
Holy manicotti.
They're aliens posing as humans.
[alien] This better be good.
I was only halfway through
the Sunday comics.
Our lifelong quest across the galaxies
hasn't been in vain, my master.
We may have found it on a small planet
they call "Earth."
"Vito's restaurant,
best pizza in the whole universe."
Go now and investigate further.
And if, indeed,
this pizza is the best in the universe,
we shall invade Earth
and force Earthlings to cook
zillions of pizzas for our home planet!
Yes, Your Bicephalus Highness.
Wow! The fate of our planet and our pizza
is on my shoulders.
I'd better go warn Vito.
Who knows, maybe I can get
a free lunch out of it.
[clang!]
Where do you think you're going, Garfield?
Vito, you have to let me in.
Some nasty aliens are on their way
and they're after your pizza.
What's-a matter?
You can't read the new sign on the door?
Okay, "All you can eat for 6.99.
Does not apply to orange cats
whose names begin with 'G.'"
Hardy-har-har. Very funny.
Now you better excuse me,
I got some customers.
Good evening, please come in.
Oh, we're looking for the best pizza
in the universe.
And you come to the right place.
You come this way.
So what kind of pizza do you like?
Oh! All of them.
Whoa! You must be really hungry, no?
Oh, you have no idea.
-You like?
-Uh yes.
[chuckles]
No. Everything except this!
Oh, you don't like the anchovy?
These things are highly toxic to our kind.
I'll make a pizza without anchovies.
They don't like anchovies?
[sighs]
No, no, and no!
But we haven't tried
the Hawaiian, and Vito's Special.
Look, lady.
I tell you for the thousandth time,
it's 20 minutes past closing time.
You go now.
This human is annoying me.
Can I eat him now?
Don't.
His pizza really is the best
in the universe.
Let's report to Emperor KaAl'Zone at once.
-[energy pulsing]
-I hate sci-fi.
[electronic whistling]
[Garfield screams]
Aliens or no, I don't make any more pizza.
Where is my pizza?
Let me handle this,
my Bicephalus Highness.
Greetings, Earthling!
The superior and unique taste
of your pizza
is legendary across the universe.
Emperor KaAl'Zone himself
has travelled across the whole galaxy
just to give it a try.
Really?
[alien] If he likes your pizza, he'll want
to export it across the Milky Way.
We're talking
major interstellar distribution here.
Of course!
Give me 15 minutes and I'll bake him
the best pizza in the whole universe!
What are you doing here?
Vito, you can't cook for them.
They want to take over the Earth.
Why you try to wreck Vito's masterpiece?
This is gonna be my best.
Think of the free publicity
if Emperor KaAl'Zone, he liked my pizza.
If only he could understand
the aliens like I do.
Of course!
Why didn't I think of this earlier?
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[alien 1] Those Earthlings are so
gullible.
[alien 2] When are we taking over
their unsightly planet?
[alien 1] As soon as Emperor KaAl'Zone
has tasted their pizza.
-Now I see. We gotta do something!
-I second that.
Anchovy. Of course.
We gonna cook them a pizza
they never forget!
[fanfare plays]
Eccola!
[sighs]
Yummy!
Who is this?
Oh, he he is he is my helper.
[alien gagging]
Ptooey! Arggh!
Treason! You tried to poison your emperor!
But, Your Bicephal Highness, we
I am sending both of you
to work in my uranium mines
on the dark side of Aldebaran
I'm cancelling the Earth invasion.
We'll come back in a few thousand years
to see if the Earthlings
have improved on their cooking.
This is the worst pizza
in the whole universe!
-[door slams]
-[Garfield laughs]
[incoming whistle sounding]
[thud!]
[spaceship roars off]
[Garfield rips sign]
Okay, I guess I owe you that much.
[Garfield laughs]
-I hope you still hungry, cat.
-Bring it on.
[Garfield snickers]