Theodosia (2022) s01e24 Episode Script

1
Previously on Theodosia My
parents are coming to London.
Did they say anything more
about school in Switzerland?
No, I'll talk them
around. They'll see.
Here. Hemiunu himself.
The flail you used
to imprison me.
Where did you hide it?
We find the flail
before Apep can.
There's someone up there.
Intruders! Let's
get out of here.
They look so peaceful.
Not a care in the world.
There should be a law against
looking this fabulous.
SHE COUGHS
You all right? You
don't sound fabulous.
You were coughing
all night as well.
I don't get ill.
And even if I did, no. No way.
Not with my parents visiting.
So exciting. I just wish
they were here longer.
Mm. I'll barely have time
to catch up let alone
convince them not to
send me to Switzerland.
You're sure you didn't breathe in
any of Apep's curse last night?
Maybe just a smidge but nothing
to worry about. I feel fine.
OK, well, I don't
see any magic on you,
and you don't appear
to have a temperature.
But let's keep an eye
on that cough, yeah?
Thanks, doc. No problem.
Wow. You look rough.
For the last time,
I'm totally fine.
Somehow, Hemiunu used the
flail to trap Apep in here.
It must have been a
tight squeeze. Mm.
You know, a flail could make
a rather bold statement piece.
All I know is I've invented
better weapons in my sleep.
This one isn't filled
with powerful magic.
And if one of your relatives ever
manages to capture an evil god
SHE COUGHS
Safiya, I
Theo. What's happened to her?
Safiya!
That's nice, but
I'm totally fine.
SHE COUGHS
Hey, who are you again?
What's happening to her?
I don't know. That's
what I need to work out.
OK, my best guess is that
Well, the Ancient Egyptians
believed everyone had
an inner spirit, your ka.
You know, the mystical essence
that kept everyone's body healthy.
But Safiya's mystical essence
isn't doing a great job right now.
That's the thing -
they also believed
that evil magicians could
hurt you by attacking that ka.
So, that's what Apep's
gas is doing to her?
Well, it makes sense.
Look, anyway, this
spell should allow me
to share some of my own
ka strength with Safiya.
But won't that weaken you?
Look, it sounds risky.
I know it sounds risky, but
..well it's the only
chance Safiya's got.
Whether it's enough to
defeat Apep's magic, I
OK, just tell me what you need.
OK, right there.
Intruders.
In my sanctum.
You have disappointed me.
I dealt with the guard
responsible, Great One.
Personally.
No intruder can harm
you, mighty Apep.
Your power is almost returned.
Y-e-e-e-e-sss.
My glory approaches.
Ra's defeat beckons.
Even your human
incompetence cannot stop me.
Be vigilant.
Return to your watch.
And do not disturb me again.
BOTH: Yes, Great One.
OK, Henry, you're up.
This is a lot. You
sure this is right?
Well, sure as I can be.
This stupid page is too
splotchy to read properly.
There's way too many seeds.
Totally not Henry,
can you hurry up, please?
OK, OK, I'm done.
Hear me, Ancients.
Ra, smile upon me.
Thoth, protect me.
Khnum, sculptor of man,
allow me to share
my divine spirit.
Did it work? Safiya,
how'd you feel?
I keep telling you I'm fine.
I wasn't talking
to you. Safiya?
Wait, what? What's going?
THEY SCREAM
Wait, why are we screaming?
This can't be.
It can be.
I'm She's
BOTH: We've swapped bodies!
Oh, Theo, what have you done?
I was trying to save
your life, Safiya.
You're cured, aren't you?
You call this being cured?
I am in the wrong body.
I haven't seen Mummy
and Daddy for months,
and I have to show up
wearing this blouse?!
You really are Safiya.
It's OK, we'll make this right.
If I had a better
understanding of ka door
You must really hate your feet.
I swear these boots
are made of concrete.
Ah-ha. There you all are!
Let me introduce
our honoured guests.
Their Royal Highnesses
Mummy! Daddy!
I Is what Safiya might say.
THEY GREE
Right. Hi, guys. We've
missed you, habibti.
Your Highnesses.
Henry Throckmorton,
at your service.
Look, er, it was a
pleasure to meet you,
but you'll have to
excuse us for a moment.
Oh, Henry, er
Yeah, that could
have gone better.
You think? I haven't seen
my parents in months,
and then Theo's coming and
starts stealing all my hugs.
This is weird for
me too. Look
..let's just focus on
finding the reversal spell.
We can't just leave
her parents hanging.
They're literally royalty.
I'm literally royalty,
if you remember.
Actually, right now you're
just grubby old Theodosia.
Less of the grubby.
But Henry's right,
we might have to style
this out for a while.
What? As each other?
Why not?
I can be, er, princessy.
Well, even if you could
pull off my poise and grace,
I had a delicate plan that would
persuade my parents to let me stay.
If this goes badly, I'm gone.
But your parents are right there.
You don't have much of a choice.
Urgh. OK, fine, fine.
Yeah, fine.
Theo can be me.
I guess I'm the one who'll have
to find that reversal spell.
What about the Flail of Hemiunu?
Who cares which body we're
in, if the world is destroyed?
Speak for yourself.
Or myself?
Just leave the flail
to me and Granny, OK?
Now go get back out there.
Sorry about that. I was
just helping out Henry with
a bit of extra history work
because I'm a total expert on
..on all of that.
Safiya, perhaps your parents
would enjoy a tour of the museum.
Why don't you show them around?
Sure. Any excuse to give
these gorgeous shoes a spin.
Back straight, habibti.
You're a princess not a camel.
About time. Will Theodosia
be joining us, too?
Actually, she's
Not feeling herself,
so I thought I'd look into
this Flail of Hemiunu.
Excellent initiative, Henry.
Thanks.
So, I don't suppose you've found
any answers in your research?
Answers, no.
Leads, however
What do you say we go
on a little adventure?
OK.
There was an old
papyrus of Harold's.
It contained what was said
to be a mythical account
of the construction
of The Great Pyramid.
But that's where
Apep was imprisoned.
You think it might tell us how?
One shouldn't get
ahead of oneself.
The papyrus was loaned
to the Egyptological
Society many years ago.
Any chance we could
beg for it back?
Where do you suppose
I'm taking you?
To the Egyptological Society.
So, this is the classroom.
Great, isn't it?
They teach you in
their living room?
That hardly seems appropriate.
It's way better than
some soulless classroom.
The Alpine Institute
of Switzerland has state-of-the-art
lecture theatres for each subject.
Right.
Well, the Throckmortons are
actual experts in Egyptology.
Well, at the Alpine Institute,
you'll be taught by
Nobel Prize winners.
Even gymnastics is
taught by Olympians.
We do PE in the garden
The Alpine Institute
has two polo fields.
If you love it so much, why
don't you go to Switzerland?
Joking.
Ha-ha. Let me show you
the Egyptian floor.
You'll be amazed by
how much I've learned.
So
..owl means sigma,
and sigma means seven
..or is it 12?
Would it be so difficult
to keep your book to,
I don't know, three
ancient languages?
Ah. Theo, I have a big restoration
job with your name on it.
Sorry, Mr Throckmor
Er, Dad Dad.
Erm, seriously bad timing.
Who are you, and what have
you done with my daughter?
You love restoring artefacts!
But you Oh, yes. Yes, I do.
I love it. Can't wait. Good.
And this old guy
is King Akhenaten,
who ruled for 17 years
in the 18th dynasty
and famously abandoned
the traditional polytheism
and introduced
monotheism in Egypt.
What? Did I get the years wrong?
No, no. Carry on, chickpea.
Perhaps that's enough history.
Oh, guess which Danish prince
your cousin is newly engaged to.
Um Let me think on that one.
I thought you were looking
for a reversal spell?
Spell.
Yeah, well, so did I.
Until Theo decided
she would much rather
try to fix whatever
that mess is.
Oh, how's Daddy's back?
You know he shouldn't be
on his feet for too long.
And Mummy looks like
she needs a cup of tea.
Safiya, is the tour over yet?
You know,
if you want a real tour,
Theo's the best at that.
You really should spend
some time with her.
Don't be silly, darling.
It's you we're here to see.
Me? But you know me
- same old Saffy.
Theo, however,
you'd really love her
if you got to know her.
I'm sure she's wonderful, but
we're only here for a few hours.
are you trying to
get rid of us? What?
No. No, no. Of
course not, I just
Why don't you rest
your feet, Daddy?
I'll go fetch us a pot of tea.
Habibti, we just want the
best education for you.
I appreciate how much
you care about my future,
but isn't that why
you sent me to London
in the first place? And
I really am happy here.
Hear us out, please.
You're our little girl.
We love you dearly and only
want the very best for you.
Imagine waking up to this view.
Oh, wow.
Fresh mountain
air in your lungs.
The lake right on your doorstep.
OK.
I admit your points are all
entirely logical and sound
I'm so sorry to interrupt.
A word, please, Safiya.
Is this really your
way of helping me?
The school looks incredible.
Boating on Lake Geneva,
skiing in the Alps.
It's not about the school, Theo,
it's about you guys. I
want to stay here with
Well, all the best
friends I've ever had.
Right. No, I'm sorry, Safiya.
There you are.
This jewellery collection
won't dust itself.
Hop to it.
That was awesome, Granny.
You could have convinced the guy
to give us his entire collection.
Oh, never underestimate the
power of a disapproving glare.
Now all we need is somewhere
to read this papyrus.
Best not to interrupt our
royal guests at the museum.
Oh, yeah, I know just the place.
You're not afraid of mechanical
fortune tellers, are you?
The Penny Arcade is the
best hang-out in town.
Welcome.
Ah!
Good morning, Lady Throckmorton.
What were you thinking, mate?
Look, we needed somewhere
to read this papyrus and
..this is somewhere.
I suppose it will
have to suffice.
Now, then
Wow! Is that The Great Pyramid?
What's with all these tunnels?
Look. This looks so
much like a mummy case,
only much more complex.
MUMMY LAUGHS
With the image of a serpent.
I think these are the plans
for the prison that held Apep.
What do you think, Grandma?
Er, what I think, Henry,
is MUMMY LAUGHS
Will you cease that
infernal racket?!
You were saying, Grandmother?
Tell me, William,
what on earth do people
see in these things?
The thing about
Switzerland is there's such
a thing as too much
beautiful countryside.
Theo Theo!
Saffy, we're running out of time,
your parents want to drag me
to lunch before they
leave for Berlin.
Look, I think I've
found the right spell.
There's only a few ingredients,
OK, Nile mud, ibis
feather and
There was something else I
couldn't translate. Here.
Malachite? Uh-oh.
I don't think we've got
any. Oh, great, well
If only we were in a museum
full of rare artefacts!
Problem is the Egyptians only
ground malachite for make-up.
Oh.
No, you're right.
You search the stores,
I'll check the catalogue.
OK. Don't worry,
we'll fix this.
Henry, I haven't had
this much fun in years!
Oh, take that, you silver devil!
You're even better than Safiya!
SHE LAUGHS
OK, guys. Step away from
the pinball machine.
I reckon I've got
something. Spoilsport.
Look at this.
"At 10.50am, the shadow points
to where the flail is buried."
Yeah, but it doesn't say
where this obelisk is.
It looks awfully familiar to me.
William, we must bid you adieu.
Henry, follow me.
You must come back to keep
your place on the leaderboard.
The champion will return.
And they're off.
Malachite Malachite
How about we skip lunch and
spend the rest of the afternoon
looking through the
museum stores instead?
I think you've had more than
enough of this stuffy place.
Clearly you need some fresh air.
We can stroll through the park
on the way to the restaurant.
I can't leave the museum like
this. People will stare at me.
Wait, your brooch.
It's malachite.
Of course it is. You've
seen it a million times.
Malachite Malachite
Oh, come on!
There has be a stray vase
or something somewhere.
Mummy's brooch!
Your mummy.
Sorry, this is getting
confusing. So? Did you get it?
I couldn't just snatch it
off her. I can't do it.
I could spark an
international incident.
We'll have to find
some other way.
Please, Theo, you have
to get that brooch.
I'm running out of time.
I have to be with my parents.
Apep really is full
of rage, isn't he?
Oh, what do you expect?
He despairs at this
pitiful world around him.
Yes, of course.
Are you questioning
the Great One?
We are in service to a god.
And when he rises to full power,
he will reward his loyal servants.
Yes, you're right.
A better world will come. Mm.
Are we going to patrol
or just stand here?
Oh, Theo.
What have you got there?
We must tell the
Great One at once.
Unless
..you're still having doubts?
No.
Where has Saffy got to?
We're late for
lunch at Giovanna's.
She's acting so strangely.
She needs a proper
school, not a museum.
Yes. I was just telling her
that when suddenly she heard me
and rushed off saying,
"In that case I can't
make it any worse, can I?"
What on earth did she mean
by that? I don't know.
Darling, what's
happened to your brooch?
Mummy's broach. Well, ho
How did you persuade
her that?
Well, I
Oh, you did not. No
Do you want to be with
your parents or not?
Oh, of course I do but now they're
going to send me away for real.
Let's not worry
about that right now.
Do you have all the
ingredients? Yeah, right here.
Let's just hope you
got the right spell.
Trust me, Saf. This
is going to work.
Theo
Theo, you do realise that
if this doesn't work
..you are the one
going to Switzerland.
I didn't think about that.
I I can't go to Switzerland!
Yes. Because if I remember
correctly, weren't you the one
saying how amazing
it was going to be?
"Mummy. Daddy. The school
just looks incredible!
"Boating on Lake Geneva,
skiing in the Alps."
But I'm no good at skiing.
Safiya!
OK, they're coming.
Hurry, please.
Where are you? OK.
Hear me, Ancients.
Nehebkau, he who unites the ka,
return us to our true vessels.
My fabulous dress!
My clumpy boots! Yes!
Everything is right
with the world.
Young lady, we need a serious
conversation about your future.
MOUTHS: Sorry.
Here it is. I knew it.
The Place de la Concorde.
In Paris, young man.
Oh, oh, great.
There's no way Mum and Dad
will let me to go to France.
I should very much
hope not, Henry.
But who's to stop me from going?
Perhaps it's something
of a long shot,
but if the Flail of
Hemiunu is in Paris,
I won't rest until it's
ours. What do you think?
Apep is so doomed!
SHE LAUGHS
31 - London's West End is way
better than whatever the Swiss have.
32 - British suffragettes are
going to change the world, fact.
33 - Alistair and Henrietta
really are amazing teachers.
Darling, we get it.
You're happy here.
And the truth is,
we've been impressed by much
of what you've shown us today.
You have?
I'm so sorry, I'll
just be back here.
Some of your behaviour, however,
is simply not befitting
of a princess.
I know. I guess I was
so excited to see you,
I totally neglected
my royal conduct.
As for your brooch, all I wanted
was to read the inscription.
Oh. I'm afraid even the
finest school in the world
won't teach you how to
read those hieroglyphs.
Seriously? That's pretty
basic stuff around here.
Let's see.
"My guiding star.
"For all eternity."
Aw, Daddy, you old softie.
Nailed it.
Love you both so much.
I just wish we'd had
more time together.
Well, looks like everything
ended up all right.
Yeah, I just heard
her mum tell her
that she'll come
visit her more often.
Yeah, she'll like that.
Yeah. Admit it, it was
hard being her, wasn't it?
What?
No No, of course not.
No, I had her parents exactly
where I wanted them, actually.
Yeah, of course you did!
Still, at least everything's
back to normal now.
Yeah, totally normal, right?
Trying to stop an ancient god
from destroying the world.
You dare disobey a direct order?
Our apologies, Great One.
Our intruders left
something behind.
Your cousin?
Great One, I
METAL THUDS
She will interfere no longer.
Theodosia Throckmorton
must be stopped.