Up All Night (2011) s01e24 Episode Script

Thank you guys so much for joining us at our anniversary dinner.
Yeah, we were we were very surprised that you asked us.
You know, couples usually do this, you know, sort of thing alone.
Or or with with, you know, really close friends.
Exactly.
The four musketeers, huh? - Oh.
- All right.
Okay.
- One one, two - Whoo! - Oh! - Oopsie, my ring.
Darn it.
There it is.
- Oh, thanks, Terry.
- Again.
I thought you were getting that sized down.
Yeah, I know.
I had it sized up when I was pregnant.
That stone is so big.
I happen to like to live modestly, but that's just what the Bible says.
It's not big I had it made from my Gammy's earring.
Oh, Gammy.
That woman hates me.
- Oh, she doesn't.
- Honey, she offered me $250 to walk away from you on our wedding day.
You must've felt like a big guy, whipping that thing out when you proposed, huh? Actually, I proposed to Chris.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
Neat.
A woman Proposing.
How modern.
It was eight years ago, and we were at rowan's pub, and our song started playing.
It was total eclipse of the heart.
And he's standing at the bar, looking so handsome.
And he said to me, "honey, I love you so much.
" I just was so in the moment, you know? I was so drunk and in love, and I just dropped to my knees, and I blurted out, "will you marry me?" It was perfect, wasn't it, honey? Yeah, it was.
It was it was everything that I hoped it would be.
Aw, baby.
I'll have one more glass of wine.
- Oh.
- I'm not quite frisky, but I'll get there.
All right, so you know what to do with the music, dimming the lights.
Everybody's just gonna play their part, all right? So All right, here she comes.
This is the moment.
Honey, I love you so much.
Will you marry me? Honey, I love you so much.
Will you marry me? Okay.
Babe? - Yeah? - Hey, um - What? - Honey I love you so much oh, my God, me too, I love you so much, Chris.
Chris, will you marry me? Please? Please do it.
Please, please, please.
- Sure.
- Yeah! Give it there, baby! Yeah, did you hear that, give it here, sucker! Because it's our anniversary, let me I'm gonna go ahead and get Our two meals.
Oh.
Uh, you had the artichoke dip? Yup.
My ring.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no, no, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no, my ring, where's my ring? Oh, God.
Mmhmm, Ava, it's not an intruder, calm down.
No, Christopher, there's someone in the bushes.
Got Ava here.
She heard another noise in her backyard.
She wants me to come check it out.
It's, like since Kevin's been gone, you've kind of been the de facto boyfriend, haven't you? Ava, I'm gonna have to ask you to just turn that music down, honey, 'cause I can't uh-huh Christopher.
Come now, before it's too late.
She's blasting West Side story.
Yeah, she does that so that the intruders think that there are guys rumbling with knives and stuff.
I seem to have forgotten something at work, so I'm gonna go get that.
- You there? Hello? - I'm I'm I'm sorry, Ava.
Isn't there someone else you can call? No, you're the only man in my life.
Hurry, there's not much time left in this movie.
Oh, no! Now Tony's dead! He's dead! Oh, you boys and your knives.
When will it end? Thank God, Christopher.
All right, so where's this intruder? Oh, turns out it was this.
I thought it was a disembodied arm floating in the pool.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, there's something worse.
Do you mean this silverfish bug? It freaks me out.
Please.
- Just do that.
- Ugh.
Ew.
- Good-bye.
- Wait.
Don't leave me alone.
I have a wobbly ceiling fan over my bed that may fall and decapitate me, and a medium on the show once told me that I would die headless.
Okay.
So it's nowhere in my office.
Okay, thanks, missy.
I'll I'll just keep retracing my steps then.
Oh, God.
I might I might've lost my ring here the other d I use I use this hemorrhoid cream for my eye-bags, okay? People do that.
Ma'am, no adults in the pit.
Just give me one more second, please.
Oh, mother of God.
Oh A girl from the wrong side of the tracks pines for the love of a rich boy, but her best friend loves her.
Who will she choose? Pretty in pink.
Yes! - Yes! - Nice.
- John Hughes.
- Wow.
You know what, Ava, it's getting kind of late, I should probably take off.
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no.
Chris, please stay.
My humidifier is broken, and avian has severe asthma.
Yeah, his lungs are the size of sesame seeds, look.
- Ava, I just - No, you're right.
You have a family.
All I've got is this little dog who's gonna die at night.
- Probably not gonna die - 'Cause the air's so dry.
Right, avian? Mommy's gonna see you die.
It's all right, you had a good life, haven't you, sweetie? I'll take a look at your humidifier.
Yay! Thank you, Chris.
You got it.
Ooh, he loves us, he loves us.
We really appreciate it.
No problem.
Don't we, avian? I love you too.
What? It's sweet.
Oh, oh, oh.
Ava? Hey, Ava oh, God.
- Oh, God, oh, God! - Oh, God.
Oh, God.
God, this is going to be weird now.
Let's just make it even, so we can move past it.
Please disrobe and present.
Look, Ava, I can't be your go-to guy any more nope.
Oh, I I'm sorry.
Look, I-I know that, um, you've been in a bad way since since Kevin left, so This has nothing to do with Kevin.
I haven't thought about Kevin since I don't even remember thinking about Kevin.
Isn't this a pile of Kevin's clothes here? If you are suggesting that I nest in those, you could not be more off base.
- I wasn't okay.
- Good day.
- Great.
Good day.
- And just for the record You caught me at my most hirsute.
It's not the summer months.
I'm gonna I'm just gonna take off.
I can't find the ring anywhere.
I can't find it anywhere.
I am the worst wife ever.
I am the worst wife ever.
All right, all right.
Did you retrace your steps? Yes, I went everywhere that I've been.
I went to the ball pit, I went to the hemorrhoid cream aisle, I went to the discount panty bin Oh, my God.
What's happened to my life? Ava, I gave your car an oil enema, and I changed all your radio presets to 94.
7 the wave.
- Thank you.
- No problem.
I have to replace that ring.
I-I I'm gonna have to go to Gammy and get her to give me that other earring.
Oh, Gammy.
She does not like you.
- I know.
- She offered me $250 to seduce Chris away from you at your wedding.
Why $250? She's 1,000 years old.
It's the most money she can imagine.
You know, one time, I was checking out this really old lady at the pool when my pants Pinocchio told me a small lie.
It was a sexy surprise.
Hey, ladies.
Honey, what are you doing here? Not here for me, I'm sure of that.
But don't worry, Chris, I got it all taken care of.
Julian's helping me out these days.
Yeah, last night, a silverfish bug showed up.
I chased him into the tub exit, where he lies in wait.
Great, well, Julian seems pretty solid.
- Thank you, my bro.
- You got it.
Listen, um, let's see if we can't just pump up your man quotient a little bit, huh? Come on in.
Hi, Ava.
- Kevin.
- Honey, did you do this? Aw, babe, this is so awesome.
This is so good.
Get in there, get in there, get in there.
Kevin's here.
Ava, listen, I didn't feel good about the way I left.
I-I know I didn't call, but I didn't stop thinking about you.
Get out.
What? - Wait a second, Ava - I'm over you.
Get out.
Oh.
Okay.
Sorry.
Wait, wait.
Wait, kev, buddy, hang on a sec.
Ava, I called Kevin.
He busted his ass to get here 'cause I told him that you weren't over him yet, and now you're acting crazy.
What's crazy is the way you fixed my showerhead so that it has the pressure of a low-flow bidet.
That's why I only take jacuzzis.
And if you can't fix my showerhead, then how in the world are you gonna fix my love life? I have always been this strong, independent woman, but with Kevin, I was a helpless love blob.
I let down my guard, and he left.
Never again.
- What if he's the one? - How do you know that? How did you know with Chris? Nobody gets me like he does.
I mean, come on, who else could I connect with total eclipse of the heart? He's perfect.
When you die, he will be mine.
But don't worry, I'll wait six months out of respect, and I'll keep a photo of you on top of the piano.
Oh, honey, thank you.
Hey, Gammy.
Are you the people with the pudding? No, Gammy.
It it it's Reagan, Chrissy's wife? Oh, this is a nightmare.
Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll die in a second.
- Ah, here's fingers crossed.
- Hey.
Oh, Gammy, you remember my friend Ava.
- Hello, sweetheart.
- Hello.
I love your show.
- Oh.
- Thank you, Gammy.
So I had phoned you about the earring.
You mean, this earring.
It would mean so much to Chris and me if you would just be so kind to let us have it.
I could let you have it, but I'm I'm keeping it warm for Chris's second wife.
You are so mean.
- Reagan, it's all right.
- What, no.
You know what, I didn't say anything when you accused me of stealing your vcr or or or the time at Thanksgiving when you told everyone not to use the downstairs bathroom because I had gone number two! You and I both know that wasn't me.
This sister do not play away games.
That is a fact, Gammy.
I said nothing because I know how much Chris loves you.
But that ring means everything to us, Gammy.
Gammy? Well, you killed her.
R.
I.
P.
, Gammy.
No, she's just sleeping.
She's just - what? - I'm taking it.
- No.
- Yeah, I'm taking it.
Don't be ridiculous.
It's a clip-on.
I can just slip it right off.
Stealing an earring off a sleeping lady's head, that is pretty desperate.
You must really love my grandson.
I do, Gammy, I really, really do.
I love him so much.
- Then take it.
- Oh For Chris.
Thank you so much.
I hope you brought your checkbook.
$250 dollars, right? $250? Okay.
pretty hostile line dancing.
I learned in Idaho.
Great stress reliever.
Grapevine! Ah, ah.
Tap it.
I'm so, so sorry.
I-I-I thought that Ava was gonna be happy to see you.
No, Chris, it's my fault.
I mean, it's just it's so hard being away from her, you know? But then seeing her, and and being rejected? I mean, that was just other-level despair, you know? Heel slap! Come on, man, don't leave me hanging.
Oh, you want me to okay.
- Slap it.
- Yup.
Hey, I followed you here because there's something that my brain is thinking that I gotta spew out of my mouth hole.
Ava loves you.
No, no, don't do this to me, man.
Stop being a bitch.
I see the way you look at each other.
As we say in my country after we watch Jerry Maguire in English, you complete me If you was Ava and me was you.
What the was that? Well, that that actually doesn't even really Ava's never gonna forgive me for leaving her.
Then show her you'll never leave her again.
Do something big.
With the right gesture, you can rewrite history.
You know what, Kevin, this strange little gentleman - thank you.
- Not a compliment.
Is really starting to make some sense.
Maybe I can rewrite history.
Yeah.
You know what? I'm gonna propose.
Okay! That's it.
Yes, love! Yes! You marry her, and I'll be her sidepiece, hey.
That's awesome, man.
You've inspired me.
I'm gonna repropose to Reagan.
What the I didn't even know that jazz was on the table.
Reagan thought that she lost her ring, but I've had it all along, dude.
I found it in the soap dish.
The soap dish! I had it reset with another stone in honor of Amy, and I was gonna surprise her with it, but a reproposal? A reproposal, man, that would blow her socks off.
This will be the exact kind of proposal that I wanted eight years ago, man.
We're rewriting history.
Dude, we're rewriting history.
Tequila marcas all around! - Brush kick.
- Yeah.
Hey.
Ah.
Love it.
Your ring has arrived.
Oh, thank goodness, let me see.
Okay.
Oh, this is perfect.
Now I can just tell Chris that I lost the other one, and he won't be mad at me.
Hey, honey.
Babe, clear your schedule 'cause tonight We are going to rowan's pub.
Our special engagement place? You know what? I guess it was.
So for me it was just a a random whatevs.
That sounds like fun.
Oh, my God, it's destiny.
Now I can show him the ring, and I can repropose.
This is so perfect.
- Uh, so I'll see you tonight.
- Yeah, all right.
Yeah, sure, whatevs.
Remember this.
Imprint.
This is the kind of man you want.
Tie or no tie? Ava, welcome to class, the club that's like a classroom.
They transformed the sylvan learning center into the hottest club in Chatsworth.
During the day, we give back by running a sexy head start program.
Sweetheart, how am I supposed to learn anything? Lose a button, why so uptight? Kevin? What is he doing here? Listen, I want you to be happy, Ava, and this guy, he really loves you.
Come on.
Hey.
While you wait for your server, please enjoy these old school sex ed videos.
I bought them originally as a fun icebreaker, but I actually learned a lot.
Find the sparks.
Love time.
Ava, listen, I I'm I'm sorry I left.
I I knew it was a deal breaker, but I needed the job, and things just got so intense, you know? And every day I I wanted to call, but I was afraid of what you'd say.
That poor girl seems concerned.
Don't worry, Molly gets her period.
I've seen this one.
I really missed you.
I missed you too.
Ava, could you get us some more wine? Sure.
You like this wine, huh? Yeah, it's great.
I ordered it online.
You can get everything online now.
Stuff you just don't wanna hassle with other humans face-to-face for.
Whoa! Oh, God, whoa.
Oh.
Oh! Mmm.
All right.
Oh, jeez, oh, God.
- Ava - Hold on.
Not while I'm in my cozies.
I can't I can't have this happen while I'm in my my cozies.
I'll just mmm.
I gotta go do something real quick.
I'll be right back.
Okay.
Yeah.
You think that was fun? Oh, man, the fun is just about to begin.
I'm gonna propose.
Yep, that's right.
I liked it, so I'm gonna put a ring on it.
- Honey.
- Yeah.
I love you so much.
Honey I love you so much, and I honey, I love you so much.
Honey, I love you so much, and I don't have the words to express it.
But I'm pretty sure that Bonnie Tyler's can.
Turn around.
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and I know you're never coming around.
turn around every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears turn around every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by turn around every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes turn around bright eyes every now and then I fall apart turn around bright eyes every now and then I fall apart and I need you now tonight and I need you more than ever and if you only hold me tight we'll be holding on forever honey, eight years ago, I didn't think that it could get any better than just the two of us.
But now it is.
Oh.
This diamond was for us, but this new one is for Amy.
Reagan, will you marry me? Yes, just honey, this is too much with the song and then Amy's birthstone.
Honey, oh, my God, it's on my finger.
Oh, my God.
Oh, I love you.
Okay, good, here we go.
Ava It's Chris.
It's Reagan.
Oh, look, we got the same one? Look at those guys.
They're proposing again.
Aw, they're a couple of proposing fools.
Kevin, what would you say our song is? I like Metallica.
I don't know what that is.
Maybe we're not ready.
I think you're right.
You're afraid of losing me.
I'm afraid of being alone.
That's no reason to get married.
I actually feel kind of relieved.
Yeah, me too.
Boop.
Did you just kill a silverfish? Yeah.
Flush it, wash your hands, and get into this wrap dress.
whoo! We were supposed to do advil, water, and banana before bed.
What'd we end up doing? Frozen pizzas, pina coladas, and front porch cigarettes.
Oh, God.
Ugh.
Oh, man, I lost my ring.
Oh I don't even care.
Wait, it's right here.
What? - I think it's on my finger.
- Oh, thank God.
Thanks, honey.
Oh, my God, honey, it's 8:30, it's 8:30.
Amy didn't wake us up.
Get up, get up.
What? Maybe she left.
Yeah, to find better parents.
- Aw - God.
Oh, hey, honey.
Aw, she let us sleep in.
- Maybe she'll let us sleep a little bit more.
- Yeah.
Oh okay, she wants to play.
We love you so much.