Cow and Chicken (1997) s01e25 Episode Script
The King and Queen of Cheese
1
We will return to
Isle of Piles: The Beaver
after these short messages.
Hello. It's me,
Larry Lackapants,
Arkansas cheese master,
soon to be king
and queen of cheese.
I want to be
the king and queen of cheese ♪
Won't you help me be
the king and queen of cheese? ♪
Men, do you love cheese more
than anything else in the world?
Then come on down
to Cornflake, Arkansas,
and let's make
some cheese with me!
Oh! Oof!
Mom, can I go to
Arkansas to make cheese?
Pleeeeease?
Why, of course you can, dear.
I'll go pack my
suitcase right now.
All aboard!
Now, Cow, Mr. Lackapants
will meet you
at the station in Cornflake.
Good-bye, Chicken.
Yeah. So long.
Oh! I'm going to
miss you, big brother.
Hey! Easy with
the wattle, Cow.
Bye, Mom.
Bye, Dad.
Bye, Chicken.
Bon voyage!
Bon voyage!
Don't forget to wash behind
your udder, and be a good cow!
And don't take no bull.
Gee, I never thought I'd be
sorry to see that fat idiot go.
Huh? Crabs!
Cow, wait!
You forgot Crabs the Warthog!
He wants to be the king
and queen of cheese ♪
Whoa!
I got Crabs
The Warthog!
Tickets, please.
I'm going to
Cornflake, Arkansas,
to make cheese with the
king and queen of cheese.
Next stop, Cornflake, Arkansas.
Huh? Oh!
Ooh! Yoo-hoo! Over here!
Are you Cow?
Oh, yes, I'm Cow,
and I want to make cheese
more than anything.
Oh, glory!
With your help, I'll become
the king and queen of cheese.
At last, someone
who believes in me.
Come, my dear Cow.
Ha ha! My vehicle
is over here.
"Welcome to Cornflake."
This must be it!
King and queen
of cheese ♪
I want to be the king
and queen of cheese ♪
What are all
these machines doing?
Making cheese, of course.
My patented
cheese-sucking machine
will suck cheese
out of anything.
This one is making
bucket cheese.
This one is making
water tower cheese.
Here. Have some
weasel cheese.
Ooh
Blech!
No good, huh?
That's my problem!
I've tried everything--
haystack cheese, silo cheese,
grandma cheese.
I even tried horse cheese.
Dog cheese, hyena cheese,
lizard cheese, duck cheese.
But they refused to cooperate.
They didn't want me to be the
king and queen of cheese!
Um, Mr. Lackapants?
Yeeeesss?
My teacher says that cheese
is made out of milk.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Milk?
Milk?!
That's preposterous.
And yet, it just might
be crazy enough to work.
Oh, how marvelous!
Cheese out of milk!
Now, let's see.
I think we'll attach one
cheese-sucker Here!
And one here
And here
And here
And here
And here.
Ha ha! Yes. That ought to do it.
Whoo ha ha ha!
And now
Let's make some cow cheese!
Oh, no!
Hold it,
Mr. Cheese queen.
Keep your cheese-sucking hands
off my sister!
And who might you be?
He's my brother,
come through the window
to save me.
So, more uncooperative
animals, eh?
All right, then.
Move it, you useless bunch
of flea-bitten barn trash!
I'll become the king and queen
of cheese without your help!
I guess cheese making
isn't my calling.
Oh, great.
Now she tells us.
Now we're prisoners,
and it's all my fault.
What's so funny, hyena?
We got to skate before he sucks
cheese out of all of us!
But the door's locked,
and there aren't any windows.
I got it!
We'll tunnel out.
Anyone got a spoon?
Ha ha ha ha!
Follow me, men!
Goldfish cheese.
Come and get it!
Grrrr!
You animals get back
to your room!
Go suck a doorknob,
cheddar butt.
Uh, now, there's no
need to get upset.
Wait a minute, you guys.
Put down the suckers.
Aaah! No!
Oh! Ooh!
Wait a minute.
Mmm. Oh, this cheese
tastes pretty good.
Mmm.
Oh, Chicken,
thank you for saving me
from a life of cheese.
Eh, don't mention it, sis.
But listen--did
you have to bring
all your friends
back with youse?
Horse, would you pass
the pea, please?
Hey, Duck, want some more
pork butts and taters?
Pull!
Pull! Pull!
Pull! Pull!
Ha ha ha ha!
Whatcha doing, Chicken?
I'm bee flying.
What does it look like?
Oh. Can I fly
him?
Only men can fly bees.
Owwwww!
Here's your dumb bee.
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon better
than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon,
big star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns king
in his mind ♪
He's just as good
as the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
Get over yourself.
Don't make me mad.
Congratulations, Weasel.
You've done a fine job remodeling
the Empire State Building.
As the reigning king
of New York, I thank you.
This is just the
beginning, King.
I promise that by noon tomorrow,
I shall finish remodeling the
rest of Manhattan Island
and preserve this city's
historical integrity.
Hey, King! Weasel!
Pose for a couple of pictures?
Oh, that Weasel!
He think he so big.
He just little ant.
Pinch!
Aah! Yeow!
Today New York, tomorrow
Detroit and beyond.
No! Uhh!
Aah!
Oh!
Don't move the brains.
I'm a doctor.
Which one goes where?
The little one goes into
the little skull, stupid.
Oh.
Wake up, you lazy baboon!
I got to change the sheets
for the next customer!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
What on earth are you people
laughing at?
Think you're too good
for washing windows?
Is that it, Baboon?
Excuse me. I don't
know who you are,
but I am not a baboon.
Keep your insults on your face.
Well, ain't we high and mighty?
Cleaning toilets ought to
drop you back down to size.
You're demoted!
Holy mackerel!
They must have
switched our brains.
Welcome back,
Mr. Weasel.
Are you
all right, Mr. Weasel?
Need another pillow, Mr. Weasel?
Are the drugs wearing off?
Need more, Mr. Weasel?
They think I weasel!
I.R. Let them.
So when do you want to resume
renovating New York City, Mr. Weasel?
I remodel Empire State
Building first!
But you just remodeled
the Empire State Building.
In fact, the plumbing was
replaced just last week.
The copper in that building
will last a lifetime.
If water pipe last a lifetime,
whole building of water
pipe last forever!
Ha ha!
Hot towel, sir?
Why, thank you, and
this is for you.
You're a hard worker, Baboon.
You'll be a wheel in this
town someday, mark my words.
Ha ha ha! Purty.
Say, Mr. Weasel,
what do you want to do
with all these bricks?
Uh, um
Lots of room inside.
Put bricks this building!
Aah!
Bee-yoo-tiful.
No wasted space.
Look. Change for plan.
You're a good citizen,
Mr. Baboon.
Your government thanks you.
Bee-yoo-tiful!
This good place for lake.
Argh! Uhh!
Fellow citizens, if you
elect me king of New York,
I promise to rid the city of
the formerly saintly I.M. Weasel
and restore order out of chaos.
The vote is in,
and the winner is
I.M. Baboon!
As the new king of New York,
I present you,
Mr. Weasel,
with early retirement.
Congratulations.
Oh. Force-ed retired-ment.
I.R. tired of hard working.
I happy to be retiredment.
I.R. retire ♪
I.R. retire ♪
I.R. retire ♪
Da da da da da ♪
Pbbt pbbt pbbt ♪
I.R. retire ♪
I.R. retire ♪
Nyah nyah nyah ♪
Yay, baboon!
I.M. Baboon!
I.M. Baboon!
I.M. Baboon!
I.M. Baboon!
I.M. Baboon!
Hey, King Baboon!
Pose for a couple of pictures?
I am Baboon!
We will return to
Isle of Piles: The Beaver
after these short messages.
Hello. It's me,
Larry Lackapants,
Arkansas cheese master,
soon to be king
and queen of cheese.
I want to be
the king and queen of cheese ♪
Won't you help me be
the king and queen of cheese? ♪
Men, do you love cheese more
than anything else in the world?
Then come on down
to Cornflake, Arkansas,
and let's make
some cheese with me!
Oh! Oof!
Mom, can I go to
Arkansas to make cheese?
Pleeeeease?
Why, of course you can, dear.
I'll go pack my
suitcase right now.
All aboard!
Now, Cow, Mr. Lackapants
will meet you
at the station in Cornflake.
Good-bye, Chicken.
Yeah. So long.
Oh! I'm going to
miss you, big brother.
Hey! Easy with
the wattle, Cow.
Bye, Mom.
Bye, Dad.
Bye, Chicken.
Bon voyage!
Bon voyage!
Don't forget to wash behind
your udder, and be a good cow!
And don't take no bull.
Gee, I never thought I'd be
sorry to see that fat idiot go.
Huh? Crabs!
Cow, wait!
You forgot Crabs the Warthog!
He wants to be the king
and queen of cheese ♪
Whoa!
I got Crabs
The Warthog!
Tickets, please.
I'm going to
Cornflake, Arkansas,
to make cheese with the
king and queen of cheese.
Next stop, Cornflake, Arkansas.
Huh? Oh!
Ooh! Yoo-hoo! Over here!
Are you Cow?
Oh, yes, I'm Cow,
and I want to make cheese
more than anything.
Oh, glory!
With your help, I'll become
the king and queen of cheese.
At last, someone
who believes in me.
Come, my dear Cow.
Ha ha! My vehicle
is over here.
"Welcome to Cornflake."
This must be it!
King and queen
of cheese ♪
I want to be the king
and queen of cheese ♪
What are all
these machines doing?
Making cheese, of course.
My patented
cheese-sucking machine
will suck cheese
out of anything.
This one is making
bucket cheese.
This one is making
water tower cheese.
Here. Have some
weasel cheese.
Ooh
Blech!
No good, huh?
That's my problem!
I've tried everything--
haystack cheese, silo cheese,
grandma cheese.
I even tried horse cheese.
Dog cheese, hyena cheese,
lizard cheese, duck cheese.
But they refused to cooperate.
They didn't want me to be the
king and queen of cheese!
Um, Mr. Lackapants?
Yeeeesss?
My teacher says that cheese
is made out of milk.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Milk?
Milk?!
That's preposterous.
And yet, it just might
be crazy enough to work.
Oh, how marvelous!
Cheese out of milk!
Now, let's see.
I think we'll attach one
cheese-sucker Here!
And one here
And here
And here
And here
And here.
Ha ha! Yes. That ought to do it.
Whoo ha ha ha!
And now
Let's make some cow cheese!
Oh, no!
Hold it,
Mr. Cheese queen.
Keep your cheese-sucking hands
off my sister!
And who might you be?
He's my brother,
come through the window
to save me.
So, more uncooperative
animals, eh?
All right, then.
Move it, you useless bunch
of flea-bitten barn trash!
I'll become the king and queen
of cheese without your help!
I guess cheese making
isn't my calling.
Oh, great.
Now she tells us.
Now we're prisoners,
and it's all my fault.
What's so funny, hyena?
We got to skate before he sucks
cheese out of all of us!
But the door's locked,
and there aren't any windows.
I got it!
We'll tunnel out.
Anyone got a spoon?
Ha ha ha ha!
Follow me, men!
Goldfish cheese.
Come and get it!
Grrrr!
You animals get back
to your room!
Go suck a doorknob,
cheddar butt.
Uh, now, there's no
need to get upset.
Wait a minute, you guys.
Put down the suckers.
Aaah! No!
Oh! Ooh!
Wait a minute.
Mmm. Oh, this cheese
tastes pretty good.
Mmm.
Oh, Chicken,
thank you for saving me
from a life of cheese.
Eh, don't mention it, sis.
But listen--did
you have to bring
all your friends
back with youse?
Horse, would you pass
the pea, please?
Hey, Duck, want some more
pork butts and taters?
Pull!
Pull! Pull!
Pull! Pull!
Ha ha ha ha!
Whatcha doing, Chicken?
I'm bee flying.
What does it look like?
Oh. Can I fly
him?
Only men can fly bees.
Owwwww!
Here's your dumb bee.
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon better
than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon,
big star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns king
in his mind ♪
He's just as good
as the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
Get over yourself.
Don't make me mad.
Congratulations, Weasel.
You've done a fine job remodeling
the Empire State Building.
As the reigning king
of New York, I thank you.
This is just the
beginning, King.
I promise that by noon tomorrow,
I shall finish remodeling the
rest of Manhattan Island
and preserve this city's
historical integrity.
Hey, King! Weasel!
Pose for a couple of pictures?
Oh, that Weasel!
He think he so big.
He just little ant.
Pinch!
Aah! Yeow!
Today New York, tomorrow
Detroit and beyond.
No! Uhh!
Aah!
Oh!
Don't move the brains.
I'm a doctor.
Which one goes where?
The little one goes into
the little skull, stupid.
Oh.
Wake up, you lazy baboon!
I got to change the sheets
for the next customer!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
What on earth are you people
laughing at?
Think you're too good
for washing windows?
Is that it, Baboon?
Excuse me. I don't
know who you are,
but I am not a baboon.
Keep your insults on your face.
Well, ain't we high and mighty?
Cleaning toilets ought to
drop you back down to size.
You're demoted!
Holy mackerel!
They must have
switched our brains.
Welcome back,
Mr. Weasel.
Are you
all right, Mr. Weasel?
Need another pillow, Mr. Weasel?
Are the drugs wearing off?
Need more, Mr. Weasel?
They think I weasel!
I.R. Let them.
So when do you want to resume
renovating New York City, Mr. Weasel?
I remodel Empire State
Building first!
But you just remodeled
the Empire State Building.
In fact, the plumbing was
replaced just last week.
The copper in that building
will last a lifetime.
If water pipe last a lifetime,
whole building of water
pipe last forever!
Ha ha!
Hot towel, sir?
Why, thank you, and
this is for you.
You're a hard worker, Baboon.
You'll be a wheel in this
town someday, mark my words.
Ha ha ha! Purty.
Say, Mr. Weasel,
what do you want to do
with all these bricks?
Uh, um
Lots of room inside.
Put bricks this building!
Aah!
Bee-yoo-tiful.
No wasted space.
Look. Change for plan.
You're a good citizen,
Mr. Baboon.
Your government thanks you.
Bee-yoo-tiful!
This good place for lake.
Argh! Uhh!
Fellow citizens, if you
elect me king of New York,
I promise to rid the city of
the formerly saintly I.M. Weasel
and restore order out of chaos.
The vote is in,
and the winner is
I.M. Baboon!
As the new king of New York,
I present you,
Mr. Weasel,
with early retirement.
Congratulations.
Oh. Force-ed retired-ment.
I.R. tired of hard working.
I happy to be retiredment.
I.R. retire ♪
I.R. retire ♪
I.R. retire ♪
Da da da da da ♪
Pbbt pbbt pbbt ♪
I.R. retire ♪
I.R. retire ♪
Nyah nyah nyah ♪
Yay, baboon!
I.M. Baboon!
I.M. Baboon!
I.M. Baboon!
I.M. Baboon!
I.M. Baboon!
Hey, King Baboon!
Pose for a couple of pictures?
I am Baboon!