Craig of the Creek (2017) s01e25 Episode Script

When you're on a wild ride? ♪
Your friends are
always by your side ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek ♪
♪♪
Okay, who's brave enough
to try first?
You!
Move!
Pick him up!
[ Screams ]
Heh. See,
that's why you can't just
grab any part of the crayfish.
Make a "C" hand,
everyone.
Hm!
You must grab him
from the back --
like so.
Ugh.
So disrespectful,
putting them
in a bucket
like common beach sand.
Jason is so annoying.
He acts like he owns
the creek.
-I found one.
-Don't touch it!
I left it there.
Ooh, as big as
a lob-lob-lobster!
Bobby: My crayfish!
Pshaw!
That's nothing
compared to
Big Pinchy.
[ All gasp ]
Craig, Kelsey!
[ Plays folksy music ]
Gather ye round
and I'll tell you a tale ♪
Of a creature
that's as big as a whale ♪
Under rocks did he swam
right up to the sand ♪
Hey!
And pinched me so hard
on me right hand ♪
[ All gasp ]
Ho ho ho, Big Pinchy ♪
Ho ho ho,
Big Pinchy ♪
The biggest crayfish
ye ever sawr ♪
Bigger
than a Din-O-Sawr ♪
Ho ho ho, Big Pinchy ♪
Ho ho ho,
Big Pinchy ♪
If you go on adventures
like we ♪
Big Pinchy just might pinch
at ye-e-e-e-e ♪
[ Applause ]
This is ridiculous.
Tony.
On average crayfish grow up
to three inches in length.
You said
as big as a whale?
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
If JP said he saw Pinchy,
then he saw him.
Then where is the proof?
I have proof.
He pinched me
and left this.
Oh, I had one of those.
It's called a pimple.
[ Laughter ]
Hey, you want proof?
We'll find Big Pinchy and rub it
all over your face.
I'd like that.
I want to be wrong
once in my life.
Hmph!
Craig: Hello, all you
crustacean skeptics out there.
This is Craig Williams,
and we're here
at John Paul Mercer's house
about to start our trek to find
Big Pinchy --
the creek's biggest crayfish.
Our guide today is the only kid
ever in existence
to have seen him
with his own eyes.
Craig, that's a very intense
getup you've got there.
This is everything we need
to get definitive
Big Pinchy proof.
Double flashlights to be ready
for any lighting condition,
and I'm finally breaking out
the Sports Scamps, trademark,
camera Grandpa
got me for my birthday.
He says I'm a rascal,
and it needs to be recorded.
Kelsey, would you please
verify the date
and time
for our records?
Uh, ah, okay.
It's, uh, it's Wednesday
the 23rd,
3:06 P.M.
So, JP, tell us
how you discovered Big Pinchy
all those years ago.
Well, it all started
yonder in my neighbor --
uh, Carol's backyard.
I was chasing
a butterfly.
[ Kids grunting ]
Location -- 50 paces
from John Paul's house.
Barometric pressure
[ Pops lips ]
pleasant.
You hopped a fence
to follow a butterfly?
Well, there --
there was no fence, then.
Carol actually put it up
after she found me
in her yard --
so weird.
It's almost like she doesn't
want me in here or something.
It's weird she doesn't want kids
in her yard,
because she has
a bunch of frozen ones.
That dog --
That dog is real!
Run!
[ All screaming ]
I need a boost,
I need a boost!
Wahh!
Abandon yard!
Craig: Aaaahhhh!
Craig!
Yer starf!
Staff!
Give me your staff!
Heave ho!
Whoa-hoa!
Aw, geez, I'm sorry.
I didn't remember Carol having
that little marshmallow killer.
That little pup wasn't anything
that we couldn't handle.
So, which way did
the butterfly fly, JP?
Well, I was just lookin' up
for a while,
following the butterfly
as it danced under the treetops.
I remember a twist,
a turn, a spin,
and then it got eaten
by a bird.
And it was right about here
that I got distracted by a tree
that looks frustrated
with his children -- over there!
Hey, y'all,
long time no tree.
[ Laughs ]
You were all but knee-high
last time I saw yeh.
Hey, Kelsey.
You must be this tall to chill.
Ohh!
My riblets!
Where to now?
Well, I-I wandered this way
and crossed the creek
right over there
through the bushes.
Whoa.
Oh man, it got deeper.
[ Clears throat ]
This here water rising in the
creek must be climate change.
Ahh!
So wet!
After you, Kelsey.
Craig, turn the camera around,
please.
-Oh! Okay!
-Hup! Hup!
Hu-- waa!
Craig, turn around!
Hey, Craig, are you sure
you want to do this?
The rocks
are really slippery.
Yeah, you don't want
to damage the camera.
You should probably
just take off the helmet.
The whole point is to have the
camera when we find Big Pinchy.
Wet butts lasts for minutes
but proof lasts forever.
And so will the look
on Jason's face!
Whoa!
Yeesh!
That was close.
Your melon almost succumbed
to Poseidon's slippery grasp,
Craig.
It was soon
after that juncture
that I discovered the dark cave
that is Big Pinchy's home.
I do not know
what called me forward,
but it felt like
the prickly finger of fate
was poking me in the back.
Ow!
A briar patch?
[ Grunting ]
These thorns are as sharp
as dragon's toenails,
which, when not manicured,
are very sharp.
Did you actually go
through these, JP?
No.
This wasn't even here back then.
Listen, guys,
can we cut for a minute?
No, we can't.
We have to keep the camera
rolling continuously.
No cuts -- so that nobody --
Jason -- can accuse us
of putting in a fake crayfish
at the last second.
Okay, look, I like being
Mr. Explorer-Sailor Guy and all,
but this stuff has been way
more dangerous
than when I came
through here before.
I can't believe
I'm saying this,
but I think
we should turn back.
[ Sighs ]
Yeah, I agree.
Maybe we can try
a different route tomorrow.
If we go back to the creek
tomorrow without proof,
Jason's gonna think
JP was faking it,
and I'm not letting
that happen!
Jason?
[ Grunting ]
Owie! Ouch!
Ahh!
Oh, no! This cursed bramble
swallowed him.
I won't let them take you,
Craig!
Yaaaah!
Kelsey! Wait!
I remember
there being a dro--
[ Both screaming ]
Ugh!
Ohh.
[ Gasps ] My camera!
Oh, why must I always destroy
everything Grandpapa gifts me?
Now even
if we see Big Pinchy,
we won't be able
to prove it to Jason.
If we don't have proof, this was
all a huge waste of time.
A waste of time?
[ Thunder cracks ]
Quick!
shelter!
Ugh!
I can hear Jason
laughing right now.
"I was right!
I was always right!"
Okay,
I'm starting to think
that this has only ever been
about Jason
because you've said Big Pinchy
like zero times
and you've said
Jason's name, like, 10 million.
It's because without the proof,
Jason's going to --
Oh! Oh-oh-ho, oh!
There!
Jason again!
10 million and one!
Y-You care so much what
Jason would think about me,
but have you asked me
how I would feel about
what Jason thinks?
Guess what?
He's a rump.
I make it my policy not to care
what rumps think about me.
The only thing
I care about today
was showing my besties
the coolest thing ever --
the pinchter,
the grand pinchereno.
Sorry. Big Pinchy.
That's his name.
JP's right.
And any kid that doubts
Big Pinchy can eat my sword!
[ Sighs ] I-I don't know why
Jason makes me
so, like, so -- ugh.
-Competitive?
-Jealous?
[ Chirps ]
Ugh, I guess
I just don't like it
when he makes fun of us.
But you're right,
I shouldn't care
what Jason thinks.
Sorry I put you guys
in so much danger today.
Ugh, what was I thinking?
Safety is, like, my number-two
next to maps!
Nah, it's okay.
Nobody was hurt,
except for your camera.
But now what?
I mean, we're caught
in the rain,
h-having nothing to eat
in a cave
JP!
Is thisthecave?
Well,
shiver me timbers.
It is that cave.
There should be the cave
etching that I left last time.
Craigy boy,
time to shine!
Oh-hoh!
This is me and butterfly,
that's the creek
Kelsey: Sure,
I can totally see it.
This path led me
to this hidden chamber!
Oh, wow.
Oh! Oh!
And -- And you see that rock
that looks like a bear?
Under the bear,
that's where I found
Big Pinchy for the first time!
I have no way of knowing
if Big Pinchy still lives here.
Maybe he married, had kids,
and moved to an apartment.
But if he's anywhere,
he's under this rock.
[ Grunts ]
Little help here,
please?
All: One, two, three!
[ All grunt ]
-Holy moly!
-He's huge!
Well, well, there.
Do you remember me?
When I saw you in between
those rocks all those years ago,
I thought you were trapped
and needed help.
But I guess I was a fool,
as green as pea soup.
That was your home,
but that made me think,
and that thought
never left me.
How can he live
in that small pool?
What would he eat?
I must find him again
with my lifetime companions.
I'm glad to see
you're all right, old man.
I brought you booty
from overseas.
And, hey, I'll be back
to check on you again,
Big Pinchy.
Phone.
What?
Take a picture
with your phone.
How many times you gonna see
a giant crayfish
with a lollipop
in your life?
Nah, man.
We have this eyeball camera
and heart drive
to store this memory --
no stupid pictures for Jason.
Yeah,
I want pictures, Craig.
If you go on adventures
like we ♪
Big Pinchy may just might
pinch at ye-e-e-e-e-e ♪
When it's time to go to bed ♪
I know
I don't have to feel alone ♪
'Cause I'll see you tomorrow ♪