Fantastic Four (2006) s01e25 Episode Script

You want a piece of me, Matchstick? Well, come and get some.
You're going down, sledge head.
(SNICKERING) (CROWD EXCLAIMING) ROBOT: Destroy the Fantastic Four.
Do you think your little spat could wait until after we stop the giant robot? JOHNNY: Oh, please.
Again with the Doombots.
Look, bub, do you mind? We're having a gentlemen's discussion here.
JOHNNY: Discuss this! (REED EXCLAIMS) REED: This Doombot is different than the others.
It's anticipating our moves.
Whatever, Stretch.
A Doombot's a Doombot, and they all get clobbered.
Guys, a little help here.
(BEEPING) Hey, tin can! Gotta admit, didn't see that coming.
Fascinating.
It's adapting as it fights us.
- It's learning.
- JOHNNY: Whoop-de-doo.
If it's so smart, how come we're still standing? (REED EXCLAIMS) Never mind.
(JOHNNY SCREAMS) Oh, Ben.
Whoops.
(GROANS) We have to overload its adaptive program.
Attack simultaneously.
Now! (ALL GROANING) SUZY: Huh? Curious.
It almost looks disoriented.
Everybody, hit him again! ROBOT: (WHIMPERING) No destroy! No destroy! No destroy! BEN: Didn't see that coming either.
No destroy! Uh, Reed, what's going on? Let's clobber the thing and figure it out later.
Full self-awareness.
Sentient artificial intelligence.
- JOHNNY: Nerd! - Something amazing has happened.
We need to bring the creature back to my lab for study.
Are you nuts? Doombot! Emphasis on the "Doom.
" It's a trick.
Just look at the thing.
I say we melt it.
Why? 'Cause it looks like a big monster? Well, guess what? I changed my mind.
Let's take the bot back.
Great.
COMPUTER: A daptoid signal not detected.
(DOOM ROARS) Insipid machine.
Doom does not tolerate failure.
Restore communication with the Adaptoid now! COMPUTER: A daptoid signal detected.
The signal is moving.
The signal has entered the Baxter Building.
Richards.
Adaptoid, resume your attack on the Fantastic Four.
- Negative response.
- What? The A daptoid software is being rewritten at core level.
I will not allow this.
Richards will be destroyed.
Begin transmitting.
Doom's word is law! (BEEPING) How is this a good idea? Huh? (GRUMBLES) Doom's only concern was to make a robot adaptable enough to defeat us.
But I believe he inadvertently created a machine that can think like a person.
So? HERBIE does that.
You know, thinks and stuff.
This algorithm is organic.
It actually mimics the human mind.
Nothing I've created comes close.
Not even HERBIE.
HERBIE: (OFFENDED) What? SUZY: Subtle, Reed.
HERBIE, come back on-line.
Please! HERBIE.
Hmm.
Uh Well, I suppose I'll have to wait until HERBIE comes back on-line to continue my analysis.
Or you could just try talking to it, genius.
Yo, robot.
What's up? ROBOT: Doom's word is law.
- JOHNNY: See? Evil robot! - Shut it, flame brain.
(ENUNCIATING) Hello, robot.
Hello.
Doom's word is law.
Yeah, I got that.
What are you doing? Destroy the Fantastic Four.
What are you doing? (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) That was cute and evil at the same time.
Human interaction is a valid test for artificial intelligence.
Keep going, Ben.
My name's Ben.
What's yours? My name is My name is Destroy! How about Mutilator? Or Bad Idea.
Or, oh! Or Ben Is Dumb.
We're calling it Bruiser.
That fits.
SUZY: Um, it's housebroken, right? (CRASHING) Move now! Yeah, quit rushing me.
I'm strategizing.
SUZY: How's man's best friend doing? It's really amazing, Susan.
Doom has no idea what he's done.
They've worked their way up to more complex games of strategy.
Uh, Lollypop Island? Complex for Ben, I mean.
I still haven't found a way to disable Bruiser's weapon systems.
But Ben trusts him.
They seem to have really bonded.
"Go back three spaces.
" Destroy! Look, Bruiser, clobbering things ain't always the answer.
It is clobbering time.
Lots of times, sure.
But not always.
Understand? Doom's word is law.
Yeah? Says who? Come on.
Time to teach you the important stuff.
- "Important stuff"? - "Important stuff"? (MICROWAVE BEEPING) (LAUGHING) Free food for Johnny.
(EXCLAIMS) (GROANS) (BEN LAUGHING) You should have seen the look on your face.
Uh-oh.
(ROBOTLA UGHING) COMPUTER: A daptoid program accessed, Lord Doom.
Excellent.
Proceed.
SUZY: HERBIE, are you in there? Come on, HERBIE, come back.
It's just not a mainframe without you.
No, this is perfect.
Here I can do tasks suitable for a machine of my simplicity.
Do you need any numbers added or subtracted? Oh, wait.
I may not be advanced enough for subtracting.
(GROANS) Reed, will you say something to him? I can't believe that HERBIE doesn't think.
I mean, he's neurotic.
Doesn't that count as human intelligence? Nope.
(LIFT WHIRRING) You're not helping, Reed.
Doom's word is law.
Yeah, Bruiser, we know.
Huh? Doom's word is law! BEN: Yo, Bruiser, get your fire extinguisher ready.
Hot stuff coming through.
Oh, sure.
Run to the evil robot.
I got plenty for him, too! Huh? Huh? Man, Reed is messy.
I thought Suzy was up here, too.
- Weird that they'd just take off.
- Nice of them to invite us.
(WARBLING) Bruiser.
He took them.
Great.
You just had to make it your little pet, didn't you? I can't believe it.
That Bruiser would That I let that no-good robot take them.
I'm gonna get Reed and Suzy back.
And I'm gonna pulverize that two-timing, double-crossing rust bucket.
You've done enough, tubbo.
If anyone's gonna save them, it's me.
Huh? Now, where do you think they went? (HERBIE CLEARS THROA T) While I may not be a super-adaptive next generation Doombot, I am smart enough to realize that the most likely destination is the Latverian Embassy.
Oh, I got it.
He took them to Doom's castle.
(HERBIE SIGHS) (REED AND SUZY GRUNTING) My fault, Susan.
I was so eager to study a machine, I neglected the safety of my friends, my family.
You shouldn't blame yourself, Reed.
Blame Ben.
And Johnny.
I'm sure he deserves it for something.
Huh? Bruiser, why? (DOOM CHUCKLING) Sympathy for a machine, Susan? How touching.
You fool.
It was simply finding a way to defeat you.
Ah.
At long last, the Fantastic Four are defeated.
You never did check your math, Victor.
Two is only half of four.
You are the half that matters.
The meager cleverness and leadership your team has mustered thus far has come solely from the two of you.
The monster and that impudent child are no threat to Doom.
Richards, so long have I waited for this moment.
I promise you.
I will make it last forever.
SUZY: Ben and Johnny will surprise you.
You'll see.
We're never getting out of here, are we? JOHNNY: You're insane.
That's never gonna work.
BEN: Oh, like your plan is so much better.
Yeah, it is.
You've had this coming for days, and now Now what, firefly? Look, the plan is brilliant.
We'll iron out the details when we get there.
Fine.
But I'm driving.
(GROWLING) We'll flip a coin.
COMPUTER: The Fantasticar approaches.
DOOM: So it begins.
Now, Richards, watch as your friends meet their end.
Their assault will be short-lived.
They provide a ridiculously clear target for the embassy's defenses.
Pity.
I'd hoped for a bit more sport.
Fire! DOOM: Hmm Grimm's piloting skills are No, that's impossible.
They can't possibly evade every weapon.
The flight pattern.
It's perfectly random.
JOHNNY: It was heads.
- BEN: Will you get off? - I'm driving.
BEN: Don't make me come out there.
- I will melt through this! - Flame brain! Hey, we're here.
See you inside, rock slide.
Not without me, you don't.
Take the wheel, HERBIE.
(GRUNTS) (BEEPING) Where'd you go, nimrod? I melted in.
That was the plan.
We were gonna melt in.
It was smash in.
We were supposed to smash in.
You're blowing my brilliant plan already, junior.
(STAMMERING) Your plan? BEN: I hate this place.
COMPUTER: The embassy has been breached at two locations, Lord Doom.
A dual-pronged attack.
Intriguing.
Perhaps they will offer a slight challenge after all.
You're wrong about Ben and Johnny, Victor.
The Fantastic Four would be nothing without them.
As you wish.
(GRUNTING) (RUMBLING) Here's a little appetizer to hold you over.
Well, until the main course.
(SIGHS) There you are.
You're totally going the wrong way.
What, are you taking the tour? - What's that? - Nothing.
COMPUTER: Mechanical defenses defeated, Lord Doom.
- Having problems, Victor? - Be silent! I have only begun.
Let us see how their meager intellects fare against my science.
- Your shoe's untied.
- Nice try.
I'm not wearing any shoes.
(WIND HOWLING) So, um, what's that? Beats me.
I'm gonna throw a rock at it.
Yeah, sure.
Go for it.
(BOTH SCREAMING) Come on.
Let me hear you say it.
- I'm a genius.
- Whatever! Fireball would have done the same thing.
(DOOM EXCLAIMING) Inconceivable! They actually collapsed my localized black hole.
REED: Don't you understand, Victor? They don't care how ingenious your defenses are or how amazing your science is.
They just care about rescuing us.
What are you blathering on about? You'll never beat them, Doom.
Because you don't know how to fight them.
Do you really expect me to be defeated by dumb luck? I think not.
They cannot stumble their way through sheer force.
All Doombots, converge on the intruders.
Destroy them! Looks like my birthday came early this year.
Well, I'm not getting you anything.
You and your stupid pet robots.
I'm melting all of these before you adopt them.
Flame on! (GRUNTS FEROCIOUSLY) - Hey, that one was mine.
- Yeah? I didn't see your name on Whoa, look out! (JOHNNY EXCLAIMING) Hang on, kid.
JOHNNY: (LAUGHING) That's all you got? Ow! Is that Ow, that's tight! Ow! Go! Get my sister.
- And Reed, if you have time.
- Matchstick! Mmm? Johnny! (LAUGHING) (GASPS GROGGILY) Hey, guys.
I'm here to rescue you.
Maybe after a quick nap.
Grimm will join you soon.
And then you will learn what it means to cross Victor Von Doom.
- Who's next? - You are.
Adaptoid, destroy him.
Destroy! You no-good backstabbing hunk of junk.
We took you into our home.
We treated you like family.
You were supposed to be our friend.
Turns out you're just one more Doombot.
Bruiser? (GROANING) Ben, it's still Bruiser in there.
You're getting through to him.
What? Ben, don't fall for it again.
Even you're not that dense.
What do you got, Stretch? Like you said, Ben.
Just try talking to it.
Don't do this, Bruiser.
You don't wanna work with Doom.
He's evil.
He didn't even give you a name.
Whoa! Whoa! (GASPS) Finish him! So commands Doom.
No matter.
I've long relished dispatching this brute myself.
(ALL EXCLAIM) (BEEPING) - No destroy! - Silence, machine.
Obey your master.
Doom's word is law.
- Says who? - BEN: Nice one, Bruiser.
Now let's see if you still remember this.
(GRUNTS) It's clobbering time! (DOOM CHUCKLING) (LAUGHING) I've planned for every contingency, cretins.
Even this! Doom Omega 221.
Code accepted.
Beginning self-destruct sequence.
T-minus 60.
Uh, Bruiser, buddy, that sounds like something you shouldn't do.
No one defies Doom.
Can you say bluff? What's to keep you from being destroyed with us, Doomsy? JOHNNY: (MUFFLED) Besides that, I mean.
ALL: Whoa! I think I can disable the bomb.
Ben, get me out of this.
I was referring to the off button on the floor, but that worked, too.
Now, if I can access (REED SCREAMING) REED: (WEAKLY) No good.
Doom has protected it too well.
Hey! Whoa! You're not going anywhere, buddy.
We're in this together.
No.
No destroy Ben.
- T-minus seven.
- Bruiser! Huh? (BEEPING) Come on, we gotta go back for Bruiser.
REED: I'm sorry, Ben.
But there's just no way he could have survived.
Bruiser is gone.
Says who? Bruiser? Bruiser? - You're okay? - Then, who just exploded? Those electrical arcs.
Bruiser must have transferred his programming into my PDA.
SUZY: What? Like HERBIE did? HERBIE: That's right.
So that means I'm smarter, right? Sure, HERBIE.
Of course you are.
(GROANS) What the heck was that for, Matchstick? I finally remember why we were fighting.
You took the last slice of pizza, jerk.
Stretch, hurry up and build a new body for Bruiser.
And make sure it's fireproof, 'cause we got some clobbering to do.