Henry Danger (2014) s01e25 Episode Script
Jasper's Real Girlfriend
1 SO, I TEX MY GIRLFRIEND BACK, LIKE, ONLY NINE MINUTES LATER, AND SHE YELLS AT ME.
WHY? BECAUSE SHE SAYS IT'S RUDE IF YOU TAKE MORE THAN TWO MINUTES TO TEXT BACK.
REALLY? NO WAY.
THAT'S CRAZY.
WELL, GET THIS.
MY GIRLFRIEND SMELLS MY SOCKS, AND IF THEY SMELL WEIRD, SHE TELLS ME IT'S TIME TO CHANGE MY SOCKS.
UGH.
THAT'S JANK.
CRAZY.
THEY'RE YOUR SOCKS.
I KNOW, RIGHT? LIKE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH GIRLS? YOU TELL ME.
A LOT.
WELL, MY GIRLFRIEND IS AWESOME.
WHAT? YOU AIN'T GOT NO WOMAN.
I DO, TOO.
SHE JUST LIVES OUT OF TOWN.
PSH.
YEAH RIGHT.
CAN YOU BELIEVE HIM? LET'S GO.
[ LAUGHING .]
OH, SURE, JUST EXIT LAUGHING.
HEY.
HOW YOU DOING, JASP? I'M DOING MAD.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THOSE GUYS THINK I'M LYING ABOUT HAVING A GIRLFRIEND? YEAH.
YEAH.
YOU GUYS DON'T BELIEVE ME EITHER? WELL, WE BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE LYING.
YEAH.
BUT I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU GUYS ABOUT COURTNEY EVER SINCE I GOT BACK FROM SUMMER CAMP.
JASPER, YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE UP THINGS TO IMPRESS US.
I'D NEVER MAKE UP A LIE JUST TO IMPRESS YOU GUYS.
REALLY? THIRD GRADE.
YOU PULLED A BAG OF DIRT OU OF YOUR POCKET AND TOLD ME IT CAME FROM JUPITER.
I THOUGHT IT DID.
BACK THEN I DIDN'T KNOW YOU CAN'T TRUST GUYS IN VANS WHO SELL SPACE DIRT.
DUDE, YOU'LL GE A GIRLFRIEND SOMEDAY.
BUT IF NOT, A GIRLFRIEND SOMEDAY.
BUT IF NOT, YOU CAN GET A PET.
BUT IF NOT, YOU CAN GET A PET.
YOU CAN GET A RABBIT FOR, YOU CAN GET A PET.
YOU CAN GET A RABBIT FOR, LIKE, 20 BUCKS.
YOU CAN GET A RABBIT FOR, LIKE, 20 BUCKS.
I DON'T NEED A RABBIT.
LIKE, 20 BUCKS.
I DON'T NEED A RABBIT.
I GOT A GIRL I DON'T NEED A RABBIT.
I GOT A GIRL AND HER NAME IS COURTNEY, I GOT A GIRL AND HER NAME IS COURTNEY, WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
AND HER NAME IS COURTNEY, WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
AND WHAT'S COURTNEY'S WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
AND WHAT'S COURTNEY'S LAST NAME? AND WHAT'S COURTNEY'S LAST NAME? SHAM.
LAST NAME? SHAM.
AND WHAT CITY IS SHE FROM? SHAM.
AND WHAT CITY IS SHE FROM? FIBBERTON.
AND WHAT CITY IS SHE FROM? FIBBERTON.
ALL RIGHT, FIBBERTON.
ALL RIGHT, WHY DON'T YOU INVITE ALL RIGHT, WHY DON'T YOU INVITE COURTNEY SHAM FROM FIBBERTON WHY DON'T YOU INVITE COURTNEY SHAM FROM FIBBERTON HERE TO SWELLVIEW COURTNEY SHAM FROM FIBBERTON HERE TO SWELLVIEW SO WE CAN ALL MEET HER.
HERE TO SWELLVIEW SO WE CAN ALL MEET HER.
YEAH.
SO WE CAN ALL MEET HER.
YEAH.
TELL HER SHE CAN YEAH.
TELL HER SHE CAN STAY AT MY HOUSE.
TELL HER SHE CAN STAY AT MY HOUSE.
MAYBE I WILL.
STAY AT MY HOUSE.
MAYBE I WILL.
BYE.
MAYBE I WILL.
BYE.
THEY CAN'T PROVE BYE.
THEY CAN'T PROVE YOU'RE NOT FROM JUPITER.
THEY CAN'T PROVE YOU'RE NOT FROM JUPITER.
IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
YOU'RE NOT FROM JUPITER.
IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
MY DAD WAS IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
MY DAD WAS AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
MY DAD WAS AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
I WANTED AN AFTERSCHOOL JOB.
AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
I WANTED AN AFTERSCHOOL JOB.
AND BY ACCIDENT, I WANTED AN AFTERSCHOOL JOB.
AND BY ACCIDENT, HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AND BY ACCIDENT, HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AH! HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AH! I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AH! I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AND ME I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AND ME A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
AND ME A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
NOW I PROTEC I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
NOW I PROTEC THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
NOW I PROTEC THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
WHO'LL CALL ME THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
WHO'LL CALL ME HE TURNED OUT TO BE WHO'LL CALL ME HE TURNED OUT TO BE YOU KNOW THE NAME.
HE TURNED OUT TO BE YOU KNOW THE NAME.
CAPTAIN MAN! YOU KNOW THE NAME.
CAPTAIN MAN! THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
CAPTAIN MAN! THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
IN TIME, I REALIZED THA THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
IN TIME, I REALIZED THA BEING A SUPERHERO IN TIME, I REALIZED THA BEING A SUPERHERO IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
BEING A SUPERHERO IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
I, HENRY HART I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
I, HENRY HART PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER I, HENRY HART PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER TELL ANYONE PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER TELL ANYONE THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S TELL ANYONE THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SECRET SIDEKICK.
THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SECRET SIDEKICK.
IT IS DONE.
SECRET SIDEKICK.
IT IS DONE.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
IT IS DONE.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
AND FIGHT CRIME.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
AND FIGHT CRIME.
FEELS GOOD.
CALL IT.
UP THE TUBE! OH, MY BOOT.
HA! HERE IT COMES.
HERE IT COM.
BRING IT, SON.
YEAH, I'LL BRING IT.
YOU GOT NOTHING.
WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS? LAME.
HEY GUYS, HARRISON FORD JUST CRASH LANDED HIS AIRPLANE IN THE JANDY RIVER.
AGAIN? ISN'T THIS, LIKE, HIS THIRD PLANE CRASH? HA.
DAH.
21 TO 19.
I WIN AGAIN.
DANG IT, DANG IT.
FRIGID DIPTHONG KUMQUAT DANG, DANG IT.
GOOD GAME.
THANKS.
NOW LET'S BLOW A BUBBLE AND GET HARRISON FORD OUT OF TROUBLE.
LET'S GO.
WHAT THE WHAT IS ALL OVER YOUR TUBE? WHAT THE WHAT IS ALL OVER YOUR TUBE? OKAY.
WHAT IS ALL OVER YOUR TUBE? OKAY.
YESTERDAY, SCHWOZ TOLD ME OKAY.
YESTERDAY, SCHWOZ TOLD ME TO GO UP THE TUBE YESTERDAY, SCHWOZ TOLD ME TO GO UP THE TUBE WITH A HOT NACHO PLATTER TO GO UP THE TUBE WITH A HOT NACHO PLATTER AND THE SUCKAGE MADE THE CHEESE WITH A HOT NACHO PLATTER AND THE SUCKAGE MADE THE CHEESE AND THE REFRIED BEANS AND THE SUCKAGE MADE THE CHEESE AND THE REFRIED BEANS GO EVERYWHERE.
AND THE REFRIED BEANS GO EVERYWHERE.
SCHWOZ? GO EVERYWHERE.
SCHWOZ? MY SISTER IS IN TOWN, SCHWOZ? MY SISTER IS IN TOWN, AND SHE WANTED MY SISTER IS IN TOWN, AND SHE WANTED A TASTE OF MEXICO.
AND SHE WANTED A TASTE OF MEXICO.
ALL RIGHT.
A TASTE OF MEXICO.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, NOW, BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING ALL RIGHT.
WELL, NOW, BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING TO CLEAN THAT WHOLE TUBE.
WELL, NOW, BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING TO CLEAN THAT WHOLE TUBE.
OH, COME ON.
TO CLEAN THAT WHOLE TUBE.
OH, COME ON.
THE TUBE IS, LIKE, OH, COME ON.
THE TUBE IS, LIKE, 100 FEET TALL.
THE TUBE IS, LIKE, 100 FEET TALL.
WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE 100 FEET TALL.
WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE THOUGHT OF THA WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE THOUGHT OF THA BEFORE YOU TRIED TO FLY UP I THOUGHT OF THA BEFORE YOU TRIED TO FLY UP I WITH A HOT SLOPPY SNACK.
BEFORE YOU TRIED TO FLY UP I WITH A HOT SLOPPY SNACK.
WAIT, WAIT, WHAT? WITH A HOT SLOPPY SNACK.
WAIT, WAIT, WHAT? OKAY.
WAIT, WAIT, WHAT? OKAY.
HARRISON FORD'S AIRPLANE OKAY.
HARRISON FORD'S AIRPLANE JUST SANK.
HARRISON FORD'S AIRPLANE JUST SANK.
YOU GUYS SHOULD GO SAVE HIM.
JUST SANK.
YOU GUYS SHOULD GO SAVE HIM.
WE WILL.
YOU GUYS SHOULD GO SAVE HIM.
WE WILL.
AFTER ONE MORE QUICK GAME? WE WILL.
AFTER ONE MORE QUICK GAME? WE CAN'T JU-- AFTER ONE MORE QUICK GAME? WE CAN'T JU-- MY SERVE.
WE CAN'T JU-- MY SERVE.
DUMB NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR MY SERVE.
DUMB NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR CHANGING HER DUMB DUMB NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR CHANGING HER DUMB WI-FI PASSWORD.
CHANGING HER DUMB WI-FI PASSWORD.
HEY, PIPER.
WI-FI PASSWORD.
HEY, PIPER.
WHO ARE YOU MAKING LUNCH FOR? HEY, PIPER.
WHO ARE YOU MAKING LUNCH FOR? THE GIRL WHO LIVES NEXT DOOR.
WHO ARE YOU MAKING LUNCH FOR? THE GIRL WHO LIVES NEXT DOOR.
I THOUGH THE GIRL WHO LIVES NEXT DOOR.
I THOUGH YOU DIDN'T LIKE HER.
I THOUGH YOU DIDN'T LIKE HER.
I DON'T.
YOU DIDN'T LIKE HER.
I DON'T.
BUT HER DAD PAYS I DON'T.
BUT HER DAD PAYS FOR SUPER HIGH-SPEED BUT HER DAD PAYS FOR SUPER HIGH-SPEED INTERNET SERVICE, FOR SUPER HIGH-SPEED INTERNET SERVICE, UNLIKE SOME CHEAPER DADS INTERNET SERVICE, UNLIKE SOME CHEAPER DADS I'M LOOKING AT.
UNLIKE SOME CHEAPER DADS I'M LOOKING AT.
ARE YOU STEALING I'M LOOKING AT.
ARE YOU STEALING OUR NEIGHBOR'S WI-FI? ARE YOU STEALING OUR NEIGHBOR'S WI-FI? I WAS.
OUR NEIGHBOR'S WI-FI? I WAS.
BUT THEN THEY CHANGED I WAS.
BUT THEN THEY CHANGED THEIR DUMB PASSWORD BUT THEN THEY CHANGED THEIR DUMB PASSWORD AND NOW I CAN'T USE IT.
THEIR DUMB PASSWORD AND NOW I CAN'T USE IT.
I'M NOT OKAY.
AND NOW I CAN'T USE IT.
I'M NOT OKAY.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
I'M NOT OKAY.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
SHE'S HERE.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
SHE'S HERE.
PLEASE GO TO YOUR ROOM.
SHE'S HERE.
PLEASE GO TO YOUR ROOM.
I DON'T WAN PLEASE GO TO YOUR ROOM.
I DON'T WAN TO GO TO MY ROOM.
I DON'T WAN TO GO TO MY ROOM.
ONE TO GO TO MY ROOM.
ONE ALL RIGHT.
ONE ALL RIGHT.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
ALL RIGHT.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
JUST A SEC! [ DOORBELL RINGS .]
JUST A SEC! HERE I COME! JUST A SEC! HERE I COME! HEY, NEIGHBOR.
HERE I COME! HEY, NEIGHBOR.
HI, PIPER.
HEY, NEIGHBOR.
HI, PIPER.
WELL, COME ON IN.
HI, PIPER.
WELL, COME ON IN.
THANKS.
WELL, COME ON IN.
THANKS.
SO, WHY'D YOU INVITE ME THANKS.
SO, WHY'D YOU INVITE ME OVER FOR LUNCH? SO, WHY'D YOU INVITE ME OVER FOR LUNCH? WHY? OVER FOR LUNCH? WHY? BECAUSE YOU'RE AWESOME.
WHY? BECAUSE YOU'RE AWESOME.
DUH.
BECAUSE YOU'RE AWESOME.
DUH.
WELL, THANKS.
DUH.
WELL, THANKS.
SURE.
WELL, THANKS.
SURE.
COME SIT DOWN.
SURE.
COME SIT DOWN.
OKAY.
COME SIT DOWN.
OKAY.
I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY.
OKAY.
I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY.
OH, I AM.
I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY.
OH, I AM.
WELL, THEN, DIG IN.
OH, I AM.
WELL, THEN, DIG IN.
OKAY.
WELL, THEN, DIG IN.
OKAY.
SO OKAY.
SO WHAT WAS THE NAME SO WHAT WAS THE NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET? WHAT WAS THE NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET? DUTCHESS.
OF YOUR FIRST PET? DUTCHESS.
DUTCHESS.
DUTCHESS.
DUTCHESS.
YEAH, DUTCHESS.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT.
YEAH, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT.
DAH.
I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT.
DAH.
WHY ARE YOU TYPING DAH.
WHY ARE YOU TYPING THE NAME OF MY DOG? WHY ARE YOU TYPING THE NAME OF MY DOG? BECAUSE I FORGET THINGS THE NAME OF MY DOG? BECAUSE I FORGET THINGS AND THIS HELPS ME REMEMBER THEM.
BECAUSE I FORGET THINGS AND THIS HELPS ME REMEMBER THEM.
OH.
AND THIS HELPS ME REMEMBER THEM.
OH.
HEY.
OH.
HEY.
WERE YOU BORN IN SWELLVIEW? HEY.
WERE YOU BORN IN SWELLVIEW? NO.
WERE YOU BORN IN SWELLVIEW? NO.
MY FAMILY MOVED HERE NO.
MY FAMILY MOVED HERE THIS SUMMER-- MY FAMILY MOVED HERE THIS SUMMER-- JUST TELL ME THIS SUMMER-- JUST TELL ME WHAT CITY YOU WERE BORN IN.
JUST TELL ME WHAT CITY YOU WERE BORN IN.
SEATTLE.
WHAT CITY YOU WERE BORN IN.
SEATTLE.
SEATTLE.
SEATTLE.
SEATTLE.
DAH.
SEATTLE.
DAH.
[ TEXT ALERT .]
DAH.
[ TEXT ALERT .]
OH, ONE SEC.
[ TEXT ALERT .]
OH, ONE SEC.
UH-OH.
OH, ONE SEC.
UH-OH.
WHAT? UH-OH.
WHAT? MY GRANDMOTHER'S WHAT? MY GRANDMOTHER'S STUCK IN HER HOT TUB.
MY GRANDMOTHER'S STUCK IN HER HOT TUB.
I GOT TO GO HELP PULL HER OUT.
STUCK IN HER HOT TUB.
I GOT TO GO HELP PULL HER OUT.
OKAY, BUT I GOT TO GO HELP PULL HER OUT.
OKAY, BUT WHAT'S YOUR MOM'S MAIDEN NAME? OKAY, BUT WHAT'S YOUR MOM'S MAIDEN NAME? ANDERSON.
WHAT'S YOUR MOM'S MAIDEN NAME? ANDERSON.
BYE.
ANDERSON.
BYE.
ANDERSON.
BYE.
ANDERSON.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
ANDERSON.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
DANG IT.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
DANG IT.
HEY.
DANG IT.
HEY.
HOW COME JASPER HEY.
HOW COME JASPER WASN'T IN CLASS LAST PERIOD? HOW COME JASPER WASN'T IN CLASS LAST PERIOD? I DON'T KNOW.
WASN'T IN CLASS LAST PERIOD? I DON'T KNOW.
HE ASKED MISS SHAPEN I DON'T KNOW.
HE ASKED MISS SHAPEN IF HE COULD SKIP CLASS, HE ASKED MISS SHAPEN IF HE COULD SKIP CLASS, AND SHE SAID, IF HE COULD SKIP CLASS, AND SHE SAID, "YEAH, SURE, JUST LEAVE ME AND SHE SAID, "YEAH, SURE, JUST LEAVE ME LIKE EVERY MAN DOES.
" "YEAH, SURE, JUST LEAVE ME LIKE EVERY MAN DOES.
" WOW.
COOL SCHOOL.
LIKE EVERY MAN DOES.
" WOW.
COOL SCHOOL.
THANKS.
WOW.
COOL SCHOOL.
THANKS.
OH, CHARLOTTE, HENRY.
THANKS.
OH, CHARLOTTE, HENRY.
DIDN'T EXPEC OH, CHARLOTTE, HENRY.
DIDN'T EXPEC TO SEE YOU TWO HERE.
DIDN'T EXPEC TO SEE YOU TWO HERE.
WHY? TO SEE YOU TWO HERE.
WHY? WE GO TO SCHOOL HERE EVERY DAY.
WHY? WE GO TO SCHOOL HERE EVERY DAY.
AND THIS IS WHERE WE GO TO SCHOOL HERE EVERY DAY.
AND THIS IS WHERE OUR LOCKERS ARE.
AND THIS IS WHERE OUR LOCKERS ARE.
HA, HA.
OUR LOCKERS ARE.
HA, HA.
TOO TRUE.
HA, HA.
TOO TRUE.
TOO TRUE.
TOO TRUE.
TOO TRUE.
SO, I'D LIKE YOU TOO TRUE.
SO, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY GIRL, COURTNEY.
SO, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY GIRL, COURTNEY.
HI.
TO MEET MY GIRL, COURTNEY.
HI.
IT'S SO GREAT TO MEET YOU GUYS.
HI.
IT'S SO GREAT TO MEET YOU GUYS.
JASPER'S TOLD ME IT'S SO GREAT TO MEET YOU GUYS.
JASPER'S TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
JASPER'S TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
OKAY, DID HE FIND YOU SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
OKAY, DID HE FIND YOU AT A BUS STOP? OKAY, DID HE FIND YOU AT A BUS STOP? AND DID HE PAY YOU 50 CENTS AT A BUS STOP? AND DID HE PAY YOU 50 CENTS TO COME HERE AND PRETEND AND DID HE PAY YOU 50 CENTS TO COME HERE AND PRETEND TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND? TO COME HERE AND PRETEND TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND? 50 CENTS? TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND? 50 CENTS? LOOK AT HER.
50 CENTS? LOOK AT HER.
HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND? LOOK AT HER.
HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND? WELL, I SURE HOPE SO.
HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND? WELL, I SURE HOPE SO.
I JUST RODE A BUS 300 MILES WELL, I SURE HOPE SO.
I JUST RODE A BUS 300 MILES FROM FIBBERTON TO SEE HIM.
I JUST RODE A BUS 300 MILES FROM FIBBERTON TO SEE HIM.
I PAID 20% FROM FIBBERTON TO SEE HIM.
I PAID 20% OF HER BUS TICKET.
I PAID 20% OF HER BUS TICKET.
SO, HOW COME OF HER BUS TICKET.
SO, HOW COME THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SO, HOW COME THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SHE'S BEEN TO SWELLVIEW? THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SHE'S BEEN TO SWELLVIEW? BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE SHE'S BEEN TO SWELLVIEW? BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A GUEST ROOM IN MY HOUSE.
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A GUEST ROOM IN MY HOUSE.
SO WHEN CHARLOTTE SAID SHE COULD A GUEST ROOM IN MY HOUSE.
SO WHEN CHARLOTTE SAID SHE COULD STAY AT HER PLACE, SO WHEN CHARLOTTE SAID SHE COULD STAY AT HER PLACE, I INVITED HER TO COME HERE.
STAY AT HER PLACE, I INVITED HER TO COME HERE.
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW I INVITED HER TO COME HERE.
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS REAL.
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS REAL.
WELL, SHE IS.
SHE WAS REAL.
WELL, SHE IS.
WANT TO FEEL HER FACE? WELL, SHE IS.
WANT TO FEEL HER FACE? NO.
WANT TO FEEL HER FACE? NO.
I GUESS I'LL CALL MY MOM NO.
I GUESS I'LL CALL MY MOM AND LET HER KNOW I GUESS I'LL CALL MY MOM AND LET HER KNOW YOU'RE COMING OVER.
AND LET HER KNOW YOU'RE COMING OVER.
GREAT.
YOU'RE COMING OVER.
GREAT.
SUPER.
GREAT.
SUPER.
HEY, WAIT HERE.
SUPER.
HEY, WAIT HERE.
I'M GOING TO GO GET THE GUYS HEY, WAIT HERE.
I'M GOING TO GO GET THE GUYS AND BRING THEM HERE TO SHOW THEM I'M GOING TO GO GET THE GUYS AND BRING THEM HERE TO SHOW THEM THAT YOU REALLY EXIST.
AND BRING THEM HERE TO SHOW THEM THAT YOU REALLY EXIST.
HEY GUYS! THAT YOU REALLY EXIST.
HEY GUYS! HEY GUYS! HEY GUYS! HEY GUYS! WOW.
HEY GUYS! WOW.
YOU SEEM AWESOME.
WOW.
YOU SEEM AWESOME.
JASPER'S A LUCKY GUY.
YOU SEEM AWESOME.
JASPER'S A LUCKY GUY.
THANKS.
JASPER'S A LUCKY GUY.
THANKS.
HE SAYS REALLY NICE THINGS THANKS.
HE SAYS REALLY NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU AND CHARLOTTE.
HE SAYS REALLY NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU AND CHARLOTTE.
WELL, JASPER'S BEEN ABOUT YOU AND CHARLOTTE.
WELL, JASPER'S BEEN MY BEST FRIEND FOR A LONG TIME, WELL, JASPER'S BEEN MY BEST FRIEND FOR A LONG TIME, AND HE LOVES CHARLOTTE.
MY BEST FRIEND FOR A LONG TIME, AND HE LOVES CHARLOTTE.
YEAH.
AND HE LOVES CHARLOTTE.
YEAH.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YEAH.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HUH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HUH? YOU SAID JASPER HUH? YOU SAID JASPER LOVES CHARLOTTE.
YOU SAID JASPER LOVES CHARLOTTE.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, THEY LIKE LOVES CHARLOTTE.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, THEY LIKE OH, NO, NO, WAIT, WAIT.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, THEY LIKE OH, NO, NO, WAIT, WAIT.
I DIDN'T MEAN HE LOVES HER.
OH, NO, NO, WAIT, WAIT.
I DIDN'T MEAN HE LOVES HER.
ARE THERE ANY OTHER GIRLS I DIDN'T MEAN HE LOVES HER.
ARE THERE ANY OTHER GIRLS AROUND HERE JASPER ARE THERE ANY OTHER GIRLS AROUND HERE JASPER IS IN LOVE WITH? AROUND HERE JASPER IS IN LOVE WITH? NO.
NO, JUST CHARLOTTE.
IS IN LOVE WITH? NO.
NO, JUST CHARLOTTE.
OH, GREAT.
NO.
NO, JUST CHARLOTTE.
OH, GREAT.
SO HE IS IN LOVE WITH HER.
OH, GREAT.
SO HE IS IN LOVE WITH HER.
NO.
THEY JUST, SO HE IS IN LOVE WITH HER.
NO.
THEY JUST, THEY'RE JUST REALLY CLOSE NO.
THEY JUST, THEY'RE JUST REALLY CLOSE AND IT'S LIKE-- THEY'RE JUST REALLY CLOSE AND IT'S LIKE-- OH MY GOD.
AND IT'S LIKE-- OH MY GOD.
HI.
OH MY GOD.
HI.
SO I TALKED TO MY MOM.
HI.
SO I TALKED TO MY MOM.
SHE SAID IT'S NO PROBLEM.
SO I TALKED TO MY MOM.
SHE SAID IT'S NO PROBLEM.
GOOD.
SHE SAID IT'S NO PROBLEM.
GOOD.
GOOD NIGHT, MOM! GOOD.
GOOD NIGHT, MOM! LOVE YOU! GOOD NIGHT, MOM! LOVE YOU! LOVE YOU, BABY! LOVE YOU! LOVE YOU, BABY! HEY.
LOVE YOU, BABY! HEY.
HEY.
HEY.
HEY.
YOU GOT ENOUGH PILLOWS? HEY.
YOU GOT ENOUGH PILLOWS? YEAH.
YOU GOT ENOUGH PILLOWS? YEAH.
SO YEAH.
SO I WAS TRYING TO USE THIS REMOTE SO I WAS TRYING TO USE THIS REMOTE TO TURN ON YOUR CEILING FAN, I WAS TRYING TO USE THIS REMOTE TO TURN ON YOUR CEILING FAN, BUT IT WAS MAKING A WEIRD NOISE.
TO TURN ON YOUR CEILING FAN, BUT IT WAS MAKING A WEIRD NOISE.
HMM.
BUT IT WAS MAKING A WEIRD NOISE.
HMM.
I'VE NEVER HAD HMM.
I'VE NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH IT.
I'VE NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH IT.
WELL, I THINK SOMETHING A PROBLEM WITH IT.
WELL, I THINK SOMETHING LOOKS BROKEN.
WELL, I THINK SOMETHING LOOKS BROKEN.
SEE, JUST STAND LOOKS BROKEN.
SEE, JUST STAND RIGHT UNDERNEATH IT AND LOOK UP.
SEE, JUST STAND RIGHT UNDERNEATH IT AND LOOK UP.
ALL RIGHT.
RIGHT UNDERNEATH IT AND LOOK UP.
ALL RIGHT.
HMM.
ALL RIGHT.
HMM.
[ SCREAMS .]
HMM.
[ SCREAMS .]
WOW.
HOW ABOUT THAT? [ SCREAMS .]
WOW.
HOW ABOUT THAT? GOOD NIGHT.
WOW.
HOW ABOUT THAT? GOOD NIGHT.
[ GRUNTING .]
YOU'RE GOING DOWN.
I'M COMING UP.
HERE IT COMES.
I'M COMING UP.
HERE IT COMES.
IT'S COMING BACK.
HERE IT COMES.
IT'S COMING BACK.
I'M THE KING OF PING.
IT'S COMING BACK.
I'M THE KING OF PING.
I'M THE MASTER OF PONG.
I'M THE KING OF PING.
I'M THE MASTER OF PONG.
LOOK OUT NOW.
I'M THE MASTER OF PONG.
LOOK OUT NOW.
[ HORN BLOWING .]
LOOK OUT NOW.
[ HORN BLOWING .]
AND I WIN AGAIN.
[ HORN BLOWING .]
AND I WIN AGAIN.
NO.
AND I WIN AGAIN.
NO.
YES.
NO.
YES.
AND THAT MEANS I KEEP YES.
AND THAT MEANS I KEEP THE PING PONG CHAMPIONSHIP BELT.
AND THAT MEANS I KEEP THE PING PONG CHAMPIONSHIP BELT.
[ LAUGHS .]
THE PING PONG CHAMPIONSHIP BELT.
[ LAUGHS .]
HOO, HOO, HOO.
[ LAUGHS .]
HOO, HOO, HOO.
BUT SCHWOZ DISTRACTED ME.
HOO, HOO, HOO.
BUT SCHWOZ DISTRACTED ME.
HEY.
BUT SCHWOZ DISTRACTED ME.
HEY.
PING PONG'S ABOUT THREE THINGS, HEY.
PING PONG'S ABOUT THREE THINGS, PADDLES, PING PONG'S ABOUT THREE THINGS, PADDLES, STAYING FOCUSED, PADDLES, STAYING FOCUSED, AND SMALL PLASTIC BALLS.
STAYING FOCUSED, AND SMALL PLASTIC BALLS.
WHY'D YOU WALK IN HERE AND SMALL PLASTIC BALLS.
WHY'D YOU WALK IN HERE AND BLOW THAT THING? WHY'D YOU WALK IN HERE AND BLOW THAT THING? I FOUND IT IN A DUMPSTER.
AND BLOW THAT THING? I FOUND IT IN A DUMPSTER.
[ BEEPING .]
I FOUND IT IN A DUMPSTER.
[ BEEPING .]
UGH, GROSS.
[ BEEPING .]
UGH, GROSS.
YOU GUYS STILL HAVEN' UGH, GROSS.
YOU GUYS STILL HAVEN' CLEANED THAT TUBE? YOU GUYS STILL HAVEN' CLEANED THAT TUBE? HELLO.
CLEANED THAT TUBE? HELLO.
HEY, CHAR.
HELLO.
HEY, CHAR.
HI.
HEY, CHAR.
HI.
CHARLOTTE.
HI.
CHARLOTTE.
NO THANKS, I JUST ATE A TACO.
CHARLOTTE.
NO THANKS, I JUST ATE A TACO.
WHAT'S UP WITH HER? NO THANKS, I JUST ATE A TACO.
WHAT'S UP WITH HER? WORRY ABOUT HER LATER.
WHAT'S UP WITH HER? WORRY ABOUT HER LATER.
RIGHT NOW YOU AND SCHWOZ WORRY ABOUT HER LATER.
RIGHT NOW YOU AND SCHWOZ ARE GOING TO CLEAN THAT TUBE.
RIGHT NOW YOU AND SCHWOZ ARE GOING TO CLEAN THAT TUBE.
OR ARE GOING TO CLEAN THAT TUBE.
OR I CHALLENGE YOU.
OR I CHALLENGE YOU.
TO WHAT? I CHALLENGE YOU.
TO WHAT? TO ANOTHER GAME OF PING PONG.
TO WHAT? TO ANOTHER GAME OF PING PONG.
HUH.
TO ANOTHER GAME OF PING PONG.
HUH.
IF I LOSE, HUH.
IF I LOSE, ME AND SCHWOZ CLEAN THE TUBE.
IF I LOSE, ME AND SCHWOZ CLEAN THE TUBE.
IF YOU LOSE, YOU CLEAN IT.
ME AND SCHWOZ CLEAN THE TUBE.
IF YOU LOSE, YOU CLEAN IT.
WHILE WEARING DUCKY PAJAMAS.
IF YOU LOSE, YOU CLEAN IT.
WHILE WEARING DUCKY PAJAMAS.
NO, DON'T MAKE THIS BET.
WHILE WEARING DUCKY PAJAMAS.
NO, DON'T MAKE THIS BET.
IT'S A BET.
NO, DON'T MAKE THIS BET.
IT'S A BET.
DOH.
IT'S A BET.
DOH.
HE MADE IT DESPITE MY PROTESTS.
DOH.
HE MADE IT DESPITE MY PROTESTS.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
HE MADE IT DESPITE MY PROTESTS.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
HEY.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
HEY.
WELCOME BACK, NEIGHBOR.
HEY.
WELCOME BACK, NEIGHBOR.
GET IN HERE.
WELCOME BACK, NEIGHBOR.
GET IN HERE.
OKAY.
GET IN HERE.
OKAY.
HERE, COME SIT WITH ME.
OKAY.
HERE, COME SIT WITH ME.
SURE.
HERE, COME SIT WITH ME.
SURE.
SO SURE.
SO I WAS WONDERING SO I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'D TAKE A SURVEY.
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'D TAKE A SURVEY.
IT'S FOR CHARITY.
IF YOU'D TAKE A SURVEY.
IT'S FOR CHARITY.
ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.
IT'S FOR CHARITY.
ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.
THANKS.
ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.
THANKS.
QUESTION NUMBER ONE, THANKS.
QUESTION NUMBER ONE, IF YOU WANTED TO TYPE SOMETHING QUESTION NUMBER ONE, IF YOU WANTED TO TYPE SOMETHING THAT WAS BETWEEN IF YOU WANTED TO TYPE SOMETHING THAT WAS BETWEEN 6 AND 15 CHARACTERS LONG, THAT WAS BETWEEN 6 AND 15 CHARACTERS LONG, AND YOU DIDN'T WANT ANYONE ELSE 6 AND 15 CHARACTERS LONG, AND YOU DIDN'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO BE ABLE TO GUESS IT, AND YOU DIDN'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO BE ABLE TO GUESS IT, WHAT WOULD YOU TYPE, TO BE ABLE TO GUESS IT, WHAT WOULD YOU TYPE, AND WHICH CHARACTERS WHAT WOULD YOU TYPE, AND WHICH CHARACTERS WOULD BE UPPER CASE AND WHICH CHARACTERS WOULD BE UPPER CASE AND WHICH WOULD BE LOWER CASE? WOULD BE UPPER CASE AND WHICH WOULD BE LOWER CASE? PIPER.
AND WHICH WOULD BE LOWER CASE? PIPER.
YEAH, WHAT? PIPER.
YEAH, WHAT? ARE YOU TRYING TO FIGURE OU YEAH, WHAT? ARE YOU TRYING TO FIGURE OU MY PASSWORD FOR SOMETHING? ARE YOU TRYING TO FIGURE OU MY PASSWORD FOR SOMETHING? UGH.
MY PASSWORD FOR SOMETHING? UGH.
OKAY, YES.
UGH.
OKAY, YES.
YES, I AM.
OKAY, YES.
YES, I AM.
LOOK, OUR INTERNET IS SO SLOW.
YES, I AM.
LOOK, OUR INTERNET IS SO SLOW.
AND YOURS IS SO FAST.
LOOK, OUR INTERNET IS SO SLOW.
AND YOURS IS SO FAST.
BUT YOU GUYS AND YOURS IS SO FAST.
BUT YOU GUYS CHANGED YOUR PASSWORD BUT YOU GUYS CHANGED YOUR PASSWORD AND NOW I CAN'T ACCESS CHANGED YOUR PASSWORD AND NOW I CAN'T ACCESS YOUR WI-FI.
AND NOW I CAN'T ACCESS YOUR WI-FI.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR WI-FI.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS.
YOU CAN TOTALLY USE OUR WI-FI.
TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS.
YOU CAN TOTALLY USE OUR WI-FI.
I CAN? YOU CAN TOTALLY USE OUR WI-FI.
I CAN? SURE.
I CAN? SURE.
AND THE PASSWORD'S EASY.
SURE.
AND THE PASSWORD'S EASY.
IT'S JUST MY FIRST NAME.
AND THE PASSWORD'S EASY.
IT'S JUST MY FIRST NAME.
OH, GREAT.
IT'S JUST MY FIRST NAME.
OH, GREAT.
YOUR FIRST NAME? OH, GREAT.
YOUR FIRST NAME? YEAH.
YOUR FIRST NAME? YEAH.
UM YEAH.
UM OH, UM UM OH, UM WELL, QUICK QUESTION.
OH, UM WELL, QUICK QUESTION.
OH MY GOD.
WELL, QUICK QUESTION.
OH MY GOD.
DON'T GET MAD.
OH MY GOD.
DON'T GET MAD.
YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME.
DON'T GET MAD.
YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME.
WELL, I WAS TRYING-- YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME.
WELL, I WAS TRYING-- I'VE LIVED NEXT DOOR TO YOU WELL, I WAS TRYING-- I'VE LIVED NEXT DOOR TO YOU FOR SEVEN YEARS.
I'VE LIVED NEXT DOOR TO YOU FOR SEVEN YEARS.
I KNOW, BUT YOU NEVER-- FOR SEVEN YEARS.
I KNOW, BUT YOU NEVER-- I BABYSAT YOU.
I KNOW, BUT YOU NEVER-- I BABYSAT YOU.
AND YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
I BABYSAT YOU.
AND YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
YOU CAME TO MY BAT MITZVAH.
AND YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
YOU CAME TO MY BAT MITZVAH.
YOUR HEBREW WAS SPOT ON.
YOU CAME TO MY BAT MITZVAH.
YOUR HEBREW WAS SPOT ON.
WAIT.
PLEASE.
YOUR HEBREW WAS SPOT ON.
WAIT.
PLEASE.
I NEED FAST INTERNET.
WAIT.
PLEASE.
I NEED FAST INTERNET.
FINE, JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
I NEED FAST INTERNET.
FINE, JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
I'M ALREADY GONE.
FINE, JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
I'M ALREADY GONE.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M ALREADY GONE.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOUR BAT MITZVAH WAS LAME! WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOUR BAT MITZVAH WAS LAME! SHABBAT SHA'LAME! YOUR BAT MITZVAH WAS LAME! SHABBAT SHA'LAME! HEY, CHAR.
SHABBAT SHA'LAME! HEY, CHAR.
CHARLOTTE.
HEY, CHAR.
CHARLOTTE.
CHARLOTTE.
CHARLOTTE.
CHARLOTTE.
WHAT? CHARLOTTE.
WHAT? WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? WHAT? WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT PICS WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT PICS OF JASPER'S GIRLFRIEND? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT PICS OF JASPER'S GIRLFRIEND? BECAUSE SHE'S TRYING OF JASPER'S GIRLFRIEND? BECAUSE SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME.
BECAUSE SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME.
WHAT? TO KILL ME.
WHAT? LAST NIGHT, I THINK WHAT? LAST NIGHT, I THINK SHE LOOSENED SOME BOLTS LAST NIGHT, I THINK SHE LOOSENED SOME BOLTS ON MY CEILING FAN.
SHE LOOSENED SOME BOLTS ON MY CEILING FAN.
BECAUSE IT FELL ON MY CEILING FAN.
BECAUSE IT FELL AND ALMOST TOOK MY HEAD OFF.
BECAUSE IT FELL AND ALMOST TOOK MY HEAD OFF.
WHY WOULD COURTNEY AND ALMOST TOOK MY HEAD OFF.
WHY WOULD COURTNEY WANT TO HURT YOU? WHY WOULD COURTNEY WANT TO HURT YOU? I DON'T KNOW.
WANT TO HURT YOU? I DON'T KNOW.
BUT SHE'S ACTING ALL JEALOUS.
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT SHE'S ACTING ALL JEALOUS.
WHY WOULD SHE BE JEALOUS OF ME? BUT SHE'S ACTING ALL JEALOUS.
WHY WOULD SHE BE JEALOUS OF ME? UH WHY WOULD SHE BE JEALOUS OF ME? UH WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "UH?" UH WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "UH?" SEE, AT SCHOOL, I MIGHT HAVE WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "UH?" SEE, AT SCHOOL, I MIGHT HAVE KIND OF MADE COURTNEY SEE, AT SCHOOL, I MIGHT HAVE KIND OF MADE COURTNEY THINK THAT JASPER KIND OF MADE COURTNEY THINK THAT JASPER KIND OF THINK THAT JASPER KIND OF LOVED YOU.
KIND OF LOVED YOU.
WELL, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? LOVED YOU.
WELL, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? BECAUSE HE DOES LOVE YOU WELL, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? BECAUSE HE DOES LOVE YOU AS A FRIEND.
BECAUSE HE DOES LOVE YOU AS A FRIEND.
BUT SHE'D DIDN'T GET THAT.
AS A FRIEND.
BUT SHE'D DIDN'T GET THAT.
YEAH, ALL SHE GO BUT SHE'D DIDN'T GET THAT.
YEAH, ALL SHE GO WAS A REASON TO KILL ME.
YEAH, ALL SHE GO WAS A REASON TO KILL ME.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WAS A REASON TO KILL ME.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? HELP ME TELL JASPER WANT ME TO DO? HELP ME TELL JASPER THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND HELP ME TELL JASPER THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND IS A CRAZY JEALOUS LUNATIC.
THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND IS A CRAZY JEALOUS LUNATIC.
HE'LL NEVER BELIEVE US.
IS A CRAZY JEALOUS LUNATIC.
HE'LL NEVER BELIEVE US.
OKAY.
HE'LL NEVER BELIEVE US.
OKAY.
THEN WE'RE GOING TO TELL HIM, OKAY.
THEN WE'RE GOING TO TELL HIM, AND WE'RE GOING TO SHOW HIM.
THEN WE'RE GOING TO TELL HIM, AND WE'RE GOING TO SHOW HIM.
HOW? AND WE'RE GOING TO SHOW HIM.
HOW? YOU AND JASPER ARE GOING HOW? YOU AND JASPER ARE GOING TO HIDE IN MY ROOM TONIGHT, YOU AND JASPER ARE GOING TO HIDE IN MY ROOM TONIGHT, AND HE'LL SEE FOR HIMSELF TO HIDE IN MY ROOM TONIGHT, AND HE'LL SEE FOR HIMSELF HOW KOO-KOO HIS GIRLFRIEND IS.
AND HE'LL SEE FOR HIMSELF HOW KOO-KOO HIS GIRLFRIEND IS.
AH, I DON'T KNOW.
HOW KOO-KOO HIS GIRLFRIEND IS.
AH, I DON'T KNOW.
PLEASE? AH, I DON'T KNOW.
PLEASE? DO YOU STILL KEEP PLEASE? DO YOU STILL KEEP THAT DISH OF GUMMY BEARS DO YOU STILL KEEP THAT DISH OF GUMMY BEARS BY YOUR CLOSET DOOR? THAT DISH OF GUMMY BEARS BY YOUR CLOSET DOOR? YEAH.
BY YOUR CLOSET DOOR? YEAH.
OKAY, I'LL DO IT.
YEAH.
OKAY, I'LL DO IT.
HI.
HOW ARE YOU? OKAY, I'LL DO IT.
HI.
HOW ARE YOU? WHY DID YOU GET OUT OF BED? HI.
HOW ARE YOU? WHY DID YOU GET OUT OF BED? OH, I JUST NEED WHY DID YOU GET OUT OF BED? OH, I JUST NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM.
OH, I JUST NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM.
WAIT.
TO USE THE BATHROOM.
WAIT.
YEAH? WAIT.
YEAH? LISTEN.
YEAH? LISTEN.
I KNOW HENRY TOLD YOU LISTEN.
I KNOW HENRY TOLD YOU THAT JASPER LOVES ME.
I KNOW HENRY TOLD YOU THAT JASPER LOVES ME.
OH.
THAT JASPER LOVES ME.
OH.
WELL, YEAH.
OH.
WELL, YEAH.
HE DID.
WELL, YEAH.
HE DID.
RIGHT.
HE DID.
RIGHT.
BUT I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND RIGHT.
BUT I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND HE MEANT JUST AS FRIENDS.
BUT I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND HE MEANT JUST AS FRIENDS.
I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING HE MEANT JUST AS FRIENDS.
I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO TAKE JASPER AWAY FROM YOU I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO TAKE JASPER AWAY FROM YOU OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
TO TAKE JASPER AWAY FROM YOU OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
OH.
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
OH.
WELL, THANKS.
OH.
WELL, THANKS.
I REALLY APPRECIATE WELL, THANKS.
I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU TELLING ME.
I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU TELLING ME.
SEE? SHE'S NOT INSANE.
YOU TELLING ME.
SEE? SHE'S NOT INSANE.
YOU BOTH OWE ME AN APOLOGY.
SEE? SHE'S NOT INSANE.
YOU BOTH OWE ME AN APOLOGY.
NO.
YOU BOTH OWE ME AN APOLOGY.
NO.
SHE MAY BE ACTING NICE NOW, NO.
SHE MAY BE ACTING NICE NOW, BUT I'M TELLING YOU, SHE MAY BE ACTING NICE NOW, BUT I'M TELLING YOU, SHE NEEDS HELP.
BUT I'M TELLING YOU, SHE NEEDS HELP.
I THINK SHE NEEDS HELP.
I THINK SHE SEEMS PRETTY NICE.
I THINK SHE SEEMS PRETTY NICE.
THEN EXPLAIN THE CEILING FAN SHE SEEMS PRETTY NICE.
THEN EXPLAIN THE CEILING FAN ALMOST FALLING ON MY HEAD.
THEN EXPLAIN THE CEILING FAN ALMOST FALLING ON MY HEAD.
AAH! ALMOST FALLING ON MY HEAD.
AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN! AAH! STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT! STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT! I'LL GET YOU! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT! I'LL GET YOU! OKAY, MAYBE SHE NEEDS HELP.
I'LL GET YOU! OKAY, MAYBE SHE NEEDS HELP.
[ GRUNTING .]
OKAY, MAYBE SHE NEEDS HELP.
[ GRUNTING .]
WHOO.
HA, HA.
YEAH.
[ GRUNTING .]
WHOO.
HA, HA.
YEAH.
THAT'S 17 TO 20.
WHOO.
HA, HA.
YEAH.
THAT'S 17 TO 20.
ONE MORE POINT AND I WIN.
THAT'S 17 TO 20.
ONE MORE POINT AND I WIN.
I KNOW ONE MORE POINT AND I WIN.
I KNOW HOW PING PONG SCORING WORKS.
I KNOW HOW PING PONG SCORING WORKS.
YOUR SERVE.
HOW PING PONG SCORING WORKS.
YOUR SERVE.
ARE YOU STALLING? YOUR SERVE.
ARE YOU STALLING? NO, IT'S JUST SCHWOZ ARE YOU STALLING? NO, IT'S JUST SCHWOZ IS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE NO, IT'S JUST SCHWOZ IS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AND HE'S LATE, SO IS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AND HE'S LATE, SO KID, IT'S GAME POINT.
AND HE'S LATE, SO KID, IT'S GAME POINT.
JUST SERVE, LOSE, KID, IT'S GAME POINT.
JUST SERVE, LOSE, AND GET TO SCRUBBING JUST SERVE, LOSE, AND GET TO SCRUBBING THE FILTHY TUBE.
AND GET TO SCRUBBING THE FILTHY TUBE.
HEY, GUYS.
THE FILTHY TUBE.
HEY, GUYS.
RAY, THIS IS LARRY.
HEY, GUYS.
RAY, THIS IS LARRY.
ARE YOU CRAZY? RAY, THIS IS LARRY.
ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU CAN'T BRING PEOPLE ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU CAN'T BRING PEOPLE DOWN TO THE MAN CAVE.
YOU CAN'T BRING PEOPLE DOWN TO THE MAN CAVE.
LARRY IS FAMILY.
DOWN TO THE MAN CAVE.
LARRY IS FAMILY.
YOU SAID I COULD BRING ANYONE LARRY IS FAMILY.
YOU SAID I COULD BRING ANYONE IN MY FAMILY DOWN HERE YOU SAID I COULD BRING ANYONE IN MY FAMILY DOWN HERE EXCEPT FOR MY SISTER IN MY FAMILY DOWN HERE EXCEPT FOR MY SISTER WHO LOOKS LIKE A HORSE.
EXCEPT FOR MY SISTER WHO LOOKS LIKE A HORSE.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
WHO LOOKS LIKE A HORSE.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
BUT I'M JUST ABOUT TO BEAT HENRY OH.
ALL RIGHT.
BUT I'M JUST ABOUT TO BEAT HENRY AT PING PONG SO IF YOU GUYS-- BUT I'M JUST ABOUT TO BEAT HENRY AT PING PONG SO IF YOU GUYS-- JUST A SEC.
AT PING PONG SO IF YOU GUYS-- JUST A SEC.
LARRY, RIGHT THERE.
JUST A SEC.
LARRY, RIGHT THERE.
WHAT'S HAPPENING? LARRY, RIGHT THERE.
WHAT'S HAPPENING? YOU SAID THAT PING PONG WHAT'S HAPPENING? YOU SAID THAT PING PONG IS ALL ABOUT STAYING FOCUSED.
YOU SAID THAT PING PONG IS ALL ABOUT STAYING FOCUSED.
YEAH, BUT WHAT'S THE-- IS ALL ABOUT STAYING FOCUSED.
YEAH, BUT WHAT'S THE-- [ MUSIC STARTS .]
YEAH, BUT WHAT'S THE-- [ MUSIC STARTS .]
18-20.
[ MUSIC STARTS .]
18-20.
18-20.
18-20.
18-20.
WAIT A MINUTE.
18-20.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I WASN'T READY.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I WASN'T READY.
GOT TO STAY FOCUSED.
I WASN'T READY.
GOT TO STAY FOCUSED.
[ GRUNTING .]
GOT TO STAY FOCUSED.
[ GRUNTING .]
19-20.
[ GRUNTING .]
19-20.
19-20.
19-20.
19-20.
OOH.
20-20.
19-20.
OOH.
20-20.
YOU GOT TO WIN BY TWO.
OOH.
20-20.
YOU GOT TO WIN BY TWO.
NO PROB.
YOU GOT TO WIN BY TWO.
NO PROB.
[ SIREN WAILING .]
NO PROB.
[ SIREN WAILING .]
HA, HA.
21-20.
[ SIREN WAILING .]
HA, HA.
21-20.
HENRY, ONE MORE POIN HA, HA.
21-20.
HENRY, ONE MORE POIN AND WE WON'T HAVE HENRY, ONE MORE POIN AND WE WON'T HAVE TO WEAR THE PAJAMAS.
AND WE WON'T HAVE TO WEAR THE PAJAMAS.
YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS.
TO WEAR THE PAJAMAS.
YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS.
HA, HA.
22-20.
YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS.
HA, HA.
22-20.
THE KID WINS.
HA, HA.
22-20.
THE KID WINS.
WHOO.
YEAH.
THE KID WINS.
WHOO.
YEAH.
YOU'RE DOING GREAT, RAY.
WHOO.
YEAH.
YOU'RE DOING GREAT, RAY.
KEEP IT UP, RAY.
[ OVEN BELL .]
WHY? BECAUSE SHE SAYS IT'S RUDE IF YOU TAKE MORE THAN TWO MINUTES TO TEXT BACK.
REALLY? NO WAY.
THAT'S CRAZY.
WELL, GET THIS.
MY GIRLFRIEND SMELLS MY SOCKS, AND IF THEY SMELL WEIRD, SHE TELLS ME IT'S TIME TO CHANGE MY SOCKS.
UGH.
THAT'S JANK.
CRAZY.
THEY'RE YOUR SOCKS.
I KNOW, RIGHT? LIKE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH GIRLS? YOU TELL ME.
A LOT.
WELL, MY GIRLFRIEND IS AWESOME.
WHAT? YOU AIN'T GOT NO WOMAN.
I DO, TOO.
SHE JUST LIVES OUT OF TOWN.
PSH.
YEAH RIGHT.
CAN YOU BELIEVE HIM? LET'S GO.
[ LAUGHING .]
OH, SURE, JUST EXIT LAUGHING.
HEY.
HOW YOU DOING, JASP? I'M DOING MAD.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THOSE GUYS THINK I'M LYING ABOUT HAVING A GIRLFRIEND? YEAH.
YEAH.
YOU GUYS DON'T BELIEVE ME EITHER? WELL, WE BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE LYING.
YEAH.
BUT I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU GUYS ABOUT COURTNEY EVER SINCE I GOT BACK FROM SUMMER CAMP.
JASPER, YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE UP THINGS TO IMPRESS US.
I'D NEVER MAKE UP A LIE JUST TO IMPRESS YOU GUYS.
REALLY? THIRD GRADE.
YOU PULLED A BAG OF DIRT OU OF YOUR POCKET AND TOLD ME IT CAME FROM JUPITER.
I THOUGHT IT DID.
BACK THEN I DIDN'T KNOW YOU CAN'T TRUST GUYS IN VANS WHO SELL SPACE DIRT.
DUDE, YOU'LL GE A GIRLFRIEND SOMEDAY.
BUT IF NOT, A GIRLFRIEND SOMEDAY.
BUT IF NOT, YOU CAN GET A PET.
BUT IF NOT, YOU CAN GET A PET.
YOU CAN GET A RABBIT FOR, YOU CAN GET A PET.
YOU CAN GET A RABBIT FOR, LIKE, 20 BUCKS.
YOU CAN GET A RABBIT FOR, LIKE, 20 BUCKS.
I DON'T NEED A RABBIT.
LIKE, 20 BUCKS.
I DON'T NEED A RABBIT.
I GOT A GIRL I DON'T NEED A RABBIT.
I GOT A GIRL AND HER NAME IS COURTNEY, I GOT A GIRL AND HER NAME IS COURTNEY, WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
AND HER NAME IS COURTNEY, WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
AND WHAT'S COURTNEY'S WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
AND WHAT'S COURTNEY'S LAST NAME? AND WHAT'S COURTNEY'S LAST NAME? SHAM.
LAST NAME? SHAM.
AND WHAT CITY IS SHE FROM? SHAM.
AND WHAT CITY IS SHE FROM? FIBBERTON.
AND WHAT CITY IS SHE FROM? FIBBERTON.
ALL RIGHT, FIBBERTON.
ALL RIGHT, WHY DON'T YOU INVITE ALL RIGHT, WHY DON'T YOU INVITE COURTNEY SHAM FROM FIBBERTON WHY DON'T YOU INVITE COURTNEY SHAM FROM FIBBERTON HERE TO SWELLVIEW COURTNEY SHAM FROM FIBBERTON HERE TO SWELLVIEW SO WE CAN ALL MEET HER.
HERE TO SWELLVIEW SO WE CAN ALL MEET HER.
YEAH.
SO WE CAN ALL MEET HER.
YEAH.
TELL HER SHE CAN YEAH.
TELL HER SHE CAN STAY AT MY HOUSE.
TELL HER SHE CAN STAY AT MY HOUSE.
MAYBE I WILL.
STAY AT MY HOUSE.
MAYBE I WILL.
BYE.
MAYBE I WILL.
BYE.
THEY CAN'T PROVE BYE.
THEY CAN'T PROVE YOU'RE NOT FROM JUPITER.
THEY CAN'T PROVE YOU'RE NOT FROM JUPITER.
IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
YOU'RE NOT FROM JUPITER.
IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
MY DAD WAS IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
MY DAD WAS AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
MY DAD WAS AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
I WANTED AN AFTERSCHOOL JOB.
AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
I WANTED AN AFTERSCHOOL JOB.
AND BY ACCIDENT, I WANTED AN AFTERSCHOOL JOB.
AND BY ACCIDENT, HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AND BY ACCIDENT, HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AH! HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AH! I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AH! I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AND ME I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AND ME A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
AND ME A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
NOW I PROTEC I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
NOW I PROTEC THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
NOW I PROTEC THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
WHO'LL CALL ME THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
WHO'LL CALL ME HE TURNED OUT TO BE WHO'LL CALL ME HE TURNED OUT TO BE YOU KNOW THE NAME.
HE TURNED OUT TO BE YOU KNOW THE NAME.
CAPTAIN MAN! YOU KNOW THE NAME.
CAPTAIN MAN! THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
CAPTAIN MAN! THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
IN TIME, I REALIZED THA THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
IN TIME, I REALIZED THA BEING A SUPERHERO IN TIME, I REALIZED THA BEING A SUPERHERO IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
BEING A SUPERHERO IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
I, HENRY HART I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
I, HENRY HART PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER I, HENRY HART PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER TELL ANYONE PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER TELL ANYONE THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S TELL ANYONE THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SECRET SIDEKICK.
THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SECRET SIDEKICK.
IT IS DONE.
SECRET SIDEKICK.
IT IS DONE.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
IT IS DONE.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
AND FIGHT CRIME.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
AND FIGHT CRIME.
FEELS GOOD.
CALL IT.
UP THE TUBE! OH, MY BOOT.
HA! HERE IT COMES.
HERE IT COM.
BRING IT, SON.
YEAH, I'LL BRING IT.
YOU GOT NOTHING.
WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS? LAME.
HEY GUYS, HARRISON FORD JUST CRASH LANDED HIS AIRPLANE IN THE JANDY RIVER.
AGAIN? ISN'T THIS, LIKE, HIS THIRD PLANE CRASH? HA.
DAH.
21 TO 19.
I WIN AGAIN.
DANG IT, DANG IT.
FRIGID DIPTHONG KUMQUAT DANG, DANG IT.
GOOD GAME.
THANKS.
NOW LET'S BLOW A BUBBLE AND GET HARRISON FORD OUT OF TROUBLE.
LET'S GO.
WHAT THE WHAT IS ALL OVER YOUR TUBE? WHAT THE WHAT IS ALL OVER YOUR TUBE? OKAY.
WHAT IS ALL OVER YOUR TUBE? OKAY.
YESTERDAY, SCHWOZ TOLD ME OKAY.
YESTERDAY, SCHWOZ TOLD ME TO GO UP THE TUBE YESTERDAY, SCHWOZ TOLD ME TO GO UP THE TUBE WITH A HOT NACHO PLATTER TO GO UP THE TUBE WITH A HOT NACHO PLATTER AND THE SUCKAGE MADE THE CHEESE WITH A HOT NACHO PLATTER AND THE SUCKAGE MADE THE CHEESE AND THE REFRIED BEANS AND THE SUCKAGE MADE THE CHEESE AND THE REFRIED BEANS GO EVERYWHERE.
AND THE REFRIED BEANS GO EVERYWHERE.
SCHWOZ? GO EVERYWHERE.
SCHWOZ? MY SISTER IS IN TOWN, SCHWOZ? MY SISTER IS IN TOWN, AND SHE WANTED MY SISTER IS IN TOWN, AND SHE WANTED A TASTE OF MEXICO.
AND SHE WANTED A TASTE OF MEXICO.
ALL RIGHT.
A TASTE OF MEXICO.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, NOW, BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING ALL RIGHT.
WELL, NOW, BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING TO CLEAN THAT WHOLE TUBE.
WELL, NOW, BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING TO CLEAN THAT WHOLE TUBE.
OH, COME ON.
TO CLEAN THAT WHOLE TUBE.
OH, COME ON.
THE TUBE IS, LIKE, OH, COME ON.
THE TUBE IS, LIKE, 100 FEET TALL.
THE TUBE IS, LIKE, 100 FEET TALL.
WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE 100 FEET TALL.
WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE THOUGHT OF THA WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE THOUGHT OF THA BEFORE YOU TRIED TO FLY UP I THOUGHT OF THA BEFORE YOU TRIED TO FLY UP I WITH A HOT SLOPPY SNACK.
BEFORE YOU TRIED TO FLY UP I WITH A HOT SLOPPY SNACK.
WAIT, WAIT, WHAT? WITH A HOT SLOPPY SNACK.
WAIT, WAIT, WHAT? OKAY.
WAIT, WAIT, WHAT? OKAY.
HARRISON FORD'S AIRPLANE OKAY.
HARRISON FORD'S AIRPLANE JUST SANK.
HARRISON FORD'S AIRPLANE JUST SANK.
YOU GUYS SHOULD GO SAVE HIM.
JUST SANK.
YOU GUYS SHOULD GO SAVE HIM.
WE WILL.
YOU GUYS SHOULD GO SAVE HIM.
WE WILL.
AFTER ONE MORE QUICK GAME? WE WILL.
AFTER ONE MORE QUICK GAME? WE CAN'T JU-- AFTER ONE MORE QUICK GAME? WE CAN'T JU-- MY SERVE.
WE CAN'T JU-- MY SERVE.
DUMB NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR MY SERVE.
DUMB NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR CHANGING HER DUMB DUMB NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR CHANGING HER DUMB WI-FI PASSWORD.
CHANGING HER DUMB WI-FI PASSWORD.
HEY, PIPER.
WI-FI PASSWORD.
HEY, PIPER.
WHO ARE YOU MAKING LUNCH FOR? HEY, PIPER.
WHO ARE YOU MAKING LUNCH FOR? THE GIRL WHO LIVES NEXT DOOR.
WHO ARE YOU MAKING LUNCH FOR? THE GIRL WHO LIVES NEXT DOOR.
I THOUGH THE GIRL WHO LIVES NEXT DOOR.
I THOUGH YOU DIDN'T LIKE HER.
I THOUGH YOU DIDN'T LIKE HER.
I DON'T.
YOU DIDN'T LIKE HER.
I DON'T.
BUT HER DAD PAYS I DON'T.
BUT HER DAD PAYS FOR SUPER HIGH-SPEED BUT HER DAD PAYS FOR SUPER HIGH-SPEED INTERNET SERVICE, FOR SUPER HIGH-SPEED INTERNET SERVICE, UNLIKE SOME CHEAPER DADS INTERNET SERVICE, UNLIKE SOME CHEAPER DADS I'M LOOKING AT.
UNLIKE SOME CHEAPER DADS I'M LOOKING AT.
ARE YOU STEALING I'M LOOKING AT.
ARE YOU STEALING OUR NEIGHBOR'S WI-FI? ARE YOU STEALING OUR NEIGHBOR'S WI-FI? I WAS.
OUR NEIGHBOR'S WI-FI? I WAS.
BUT THEN THEY CHANGED I WAS.
BUT THEN THEY CHANGED THEIR DUMB PASSWORD BUT THEN THEY CHANGED THEIR DUMB PASSWORD AND NOW I CAN'T USE IT.
THEIR DUMB PASSWORD AND NOW I CAN'T USE IT.
I'M NOT OKAY.
AND NOW I CAN'T USE IT.
I'M NOT OKAY.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
I'M NOT OKAY.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
SHE'S HERE.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
SHE'S HERE.
PLEASE GO TO YOUR ROOM.
SHE'S HERE.
PLEASE GO TO YOUR ROOM.
I DON'T WAN PLEASE GO TO YOUR ROOM.
I DON'T WAN TO GO TO MY ROOM.
I DON'T WAN TO GO TO MY ROOM.
ONE TO GO TO MY ROOM.
ONE ALL RIGHT.
ONE ALL RIGHT.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
ALL RIGHT.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
JUST A SEC! [ DOORBELL RINGS .]
JUST A SEC! HERE I COME! JUST A SEC! HERE I COME! HEY, NEIGHBOR.
HERE I COME! HEY, NEIGHBOR.
HI, PIPER.
HEY, NEIGHBOR.
HI, PIPER.
WELL, COME ON IN.
HI, PIPER.
WELL, COME ON IN.
THANKS.
WELL, COME ON IN.
THANKS.
SO, WHY'D YOU INVITE ME THANKS.
SO, WHY'D YOU INVITE ME OVER FOR LUNCH? SO, WHY'D YOU INVITE ME OVER FOR LUNCH? WHY? OVER FOR LUNCH? WHY? BECAUSE YOU'RE AWESOME.
WHY? BECAUSE YOU'RE AWESOME.
DUH.
BECAUSE YOU'RE AWESOME.
DUH.
WELL, THANKS.
DUH.
WELL, THANKS.
SURE.
WELL, THANKS.
SURE.
COME SIT DOWN.
SURE.
COME SIT DOWN.
OKAY.
COME SIT DOWN.
OKAY.
I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY.
OKAY.
I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY.
OH, I AM.
I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY.
OH, I AM.
WELL, THEN, DIG IN.
OH, I AM.
WELL, THEN, DIG IN.
OKAY.
WELL, THEN, DIG IN.
OKAY.
SO OKAY.
SO WHAT WAS THE NAME SO WHAT WAS THE NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET? WHAT WAS THE NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET? DUTCHESS.
OF YOUR FIRST PET? DUTCHESS.
DUTCHESS.
DUTCHESS.
DUTCHESS.
YEAH, DUTCHESS.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT.
YEAH, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT.
DAH.
I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT.
DAH.
WHY ARE YOU TYPING DAH.
WHY ARE YOU TYPING THE NAME OF MY DOG? WHY ARE YOU TYPING THE NAME OF MY DOG? BECAUSE I FORGET THINGS THE NAME OF MY DOG? BECAUSE I FORGET THINGS AND THIS HELPS ME REMEMBER THEM.
BECAUSE I FORGET THINGS AND THIS HELPS ME REMEMBER THEM.
OH.
AND THIS HELPS ME REMEMBER THEM.
OH.
HEY.
OH.
HEY.
WERE YOU BORN IN SWELLVIEW? HEY.
WERE YOU BORN IN SWELLVIEW? NO.
WERE YOU BORN IN SWELLVIEW? NO.
MY FAMILY MOVED HERE NO.
MY FAMILY MOVED HERE THIS SUMMER-- MY FAMILY MOVED HERE THIS SUMMER-- JUST TELL ME THIS SUMMER-- JUST TELL ME WHAT CITY YOU WERE BORN IN.
JUST TELL ME WHAT CITY YOU WERE BORN IN.
SEATTLE.
WHAT CITY YOU WERE BORN IN.
SEATTLE.
SEATTLE.
SEATTLE.
SEATTLE.
DAH.
SEATTLE.
DAH.
[ TEXT ALERT .]
DAH.
[ TEXT ALERT .]
OH, ONE SEC.
[ TEXT ALERT .]
OH, ONE SEC.
UH-OH.
OH, ONE SEC.
UH-OH.
WHAT? UH-OH.
WHAT? MY GRANDMOTHER'S WHAT? MY GRANDMOTHER'S STUCK IN HER HOT TUB.
MY GRANDMOTHER'S STUCK IN HER HOT TUB.
I GOT TO GO HELP PULL HER OUT.
STUCK IN HER HOT TUB.
I GOT TO GO HELP PULL HER OUT.
OKAY, BUT I GOT TO GO HELP PULL HER OUT.
OKAY, BUT WHAT'S YOUR MOM'S MAIDEN NAME? OKAY, BUT WHAT'S YOUR MOM'S MAIDEN NAME? ANDERSON.
WHAT'S YOUR MOM'S MAIDEN NAME? ANDERSON.
BYE.
ANDERSON.
BYE.
ANDERSON.
BYE.
ANDERSON.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
ANDERSON.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
DANG IT.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
DANG IT.
HEY.
DANG IT.
HEY.
HOW COME JASPER HEY.
HOW COME JASPER WASN'T IN CLASS LAST PERIOD? HOW COME JASPER WASN'T IN CLASS LAST PERIOD? I DON'T KNOW.
WASN'T IN CLASS LAST PERIOD? I DON'T KNOW.
HE ASKED MISS SHAPEN I DON'T KNOW.
HE ASKED MISS SHAPEN IF HE COULD SKIP CLASS, HE ASKED MISS SHAPEN IF HE COULD SKIP CLASS, AND SHE SAID, IF HE COULD SKIP CLASS, AND SHE SAID, "YEAH, SURE, JUST LEAVE ME AND SHE SAID, "YEAH, SURE, JUST LEAVE ME LIKE EVERY MAN DOES.
" "YEAH, SURE, JUST LEAVE ME LIKE EVERY MAN DOES.
" WOW.
COOL SCHOOL.
LIKE EVERY MAN DOES.
" WOW.
COOL SCHOOL.
THANKS.
WOW.
COOL SCHOOL.
THANKS.
OH, CHARLOTTE, HENRY.
THANKS.
OH, CHARLOTTE, HENRY.
DIDN'T EXPEC OH, CHARLOTTE, HENRY.
DIDN'T EXPEC TO SEE YOU TWO HERE.
DIDN'T EXPEC TO SEE YOU TWO HERE.
WHY? TO SEE YOU TWO HERE.
WHY? WE GO TO SCHOOL HERE EVERY DAY.
WHY? WE GO TO SCHOOL HERE EVERY DAY.
AND THIS IS WHERE WE GO TO SCHOOL HERE EVERY DAY.
AND THIS IS WHERE OUR LOCKERS ARE.
AND THIS IS WHERE OUR LOCKERS ARE.
HA, HA.
OUR LOCKERS ARE.
HA, HA.
TOO TRUE.
HA, HA.
TOO TRUE.
TOO TRUE.
TOO TRUE.
TOO TRUE.
SO, I'D LIKE YOU TOO TRUE.
SO, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY GIRL, COURTNEY.
SO, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY GIRL, COURTNEY.
HI.
TO MEET MY GIRL, COURTNEY.
HI.
IT'S SO GREAT TO MEET YOU GUYS.
HI.
IT'S SO GREAT TO MEET YOU GUYS.
JASPER'S TOLD ME IT'S SO GREAT TO MEET YOU GUYS.
JASPER'S TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
JASPER'S TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
OKAY, DID HE FIND YOU SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
OKAY, DID HE FIND YOU AT A BUS STOP? OKAY, DID HE FIND YOU AT A BUS STOP? AND DID HE PAY YOU 50 CENTS AT A BUS STOP? AND DID HE PAY YOU 50 CENTS TO COME HERE AND PRETEND AND DID HE PAY YOU 50 CENTS TO COME HERE AND PRETEND TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND? TO COME HERE AND PRETEND TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND? 50 CENTS? TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND? 50 CENTS? LOOK AT HER.
50 CENTS? LOOK AT HER.
HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND? LOOK AT HER.
HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND? WELL, I SURE HOPE SO.
HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND? WELL, I SURE HOPE SO.
I JUST RODE A BUS 300 MILES WELL, I SURE HOPE SO.
I JUST RODE A BUS 300 MILES FROM FIBBERTON TO SEE HIM.
I JUST RODE A BUS 300 MILES FROM FIBBERTON TO SEE HIM.
I PAID 20% FROM FIBBERTON TO SEE HIM.
I PAID 20% OF HER BUS TICKET.
I PAID 20% OF HER BUS TICKET.
SO, HOW COME OF HER BUS TICKET.
SO, HOW COME THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SO, HOW COME THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SHE'S BEEN TO SWELLVIEW? THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SHE'S BEEN TO SWELLVIEW? BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE SHE'S BEEN TO SWELLVIEW? BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A GUEST ROOM IN MY HOUSE.
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A GUEST ROOM IN MY HOUSE.
SO WHEN CHARLOTTE SAID SHE COULD A GUEST ROOM IN MY HOUSE.
SO WHEN CHARLOTTE SAID SHE COULD STAY AT HER PLACE, SO WHEN CHARLOTTE SAID SHE COULD STAY AT HER PLACE, I INVITED HER TO COME HERE.
STAY AT HER PLACE, I INVITED HER TO COME HERE.
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW I INVITED HER TO COME HERE.
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS REAL.
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS REAL.
WELL, SHE IS.
SHE WAS REAL.
WELL, SHE IS.
WANT TO FEEL HER FACE? WELL, SHE IS.
WANT TO FEEL HER FACE? NO.
WANT TO FEEL HER FACE? NO.
I GUESS I'LL CALL MY MOM NO.
I GUESS I'LL CALL MY MOM AND LET HER KNOW I GUESS I'LL CALL MY MOM AND LET HER KNOW YOU'RE COMING OVER.
AND LET HER KNOW YOU'RE COMING OVER.
GREAT.
YOU'RE COMING OVER.
GREAT.
SUPER.
GREAT.
SUPER.
HEY, WAIT HERE.
SUPER.
HEY, WAIT HERE.
I'M GOING TO GO GET THE GUYS HEY, WAIT HERE.
I'M GOING TO GO GET THE GUYS AND BRING THEM HERE TO SHOW THEM I'M GOING TO GO GET THE GUYS AND BRING THEM HERE TO SHOW THEM THAT YOU REALLY EXIST.
AND BRING THEM HERE TO SHOW THEM THAT YOU REALLY EXIST.
HEY GUYS! THAT YOU REALLY EXIST.
HEY GUYS! HEY GUYS! HEY GUYS! HEY GUYS! WOW.
HEY GUYS! WOW.
YOU SEEM AWESOME.
WOW.
YOU SEEM AWESOME.
JASPER'S A LUCKY GUY.
YOU SEEM AWESOME.
JASPER'S A LUCKY GUY.
THANKS.
JASPER'S A LUCKY GUY.
THANKS.
HE SAYS REALLY NICE THINGS THANKS.
HE SAYS REALLY NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU AND CHARLOTTE.
HE SAYS REALLY NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU AND CHARLOTTE.
WELL, JASPER'S BEEN ABOUT YOU AND CHARLOTTE.
WELL, JASPER'S BEEN MY BEST FRIEND FOR A LONG TIME, WELL, JASPER'S BEEN MY BEST FRIEND FOR A LONG TIME, AND HE LOVES CHARLOTTE.
MY BEST FRIEND FOR A LONG TIME, AND HE LOVES CHARLOTTE.
YEAH.
AND HE LOVES CHARLOTTE.
YEAH.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YEAH.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HUH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HUH? YOU SAID JASPER HUH? YOU SAID JASPER LOVES CHARLOTTE.
YOU SAID JASPER LOVES CHARLOTTE.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, THEY LIKE LOVES CHARLOTTE.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, THEY LIKE OH, NO, NO, WAIT, WAIT.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, THEY LIKE OH, NO, NO, WAIT, WAIT.
I DIDN'T MEAN HE LOVES HER.
OH, NO, NO, WAIT, WAIT.
I DIDN'T MEAN HE LOVES HER.
ARE THERE ANY OTHER GIRLS I DIDN'T MEAN HE LOVES HER.
ARE THERE ANY OTHER GIRLS AROUND HERE JASPER ARE THERE ANY OTHER GIRLS AROUND HERE JASPER IS IN LOVE WITH? AROUND HERE JASPER IS IN LOVE WITH? NO.
NO, JUST CHARLOTTE.
IS IN LOVE WITH? NO.
NO, JUST CHARLOTTE.
OH, GREAT.
NO.
NO, JUST CHARLOTTE.
OH, GREAT.
SO HE IS IN LOVE WITH HER.
OH, GREAT.
SO HE IS IN LOVE WITH HER.
NO.
THEY JUST, SO HE IS IN LOVE WITH HER.
NO.
THEY JUST, THEY'RE JUST REALLY CLOSE NO.
THEY JUST, THEY'RE JUST REALLY CLOSE AND IT'S LIKE-- THEY'RE JUST REALLY CLOSE AND IT'S LIKE-- OH MY GOD.
AND IT'S LIKE-- OH MY GOD.
HI.
OH MY GOD.
HI.
SO I TALKED TO MY MOM.
HI.
SO I TALKED TO MY MOM.
SHE SAID IT'S NO PROBLEM.
SO I TALKED TO MY MOM.
SHE SAID IT'S NO PROBLEM.
GOOD.
SHE SAID IT'S NO PROBLEM.
GOOD.
GOOD NIGHT, MOM! GOOD.
GOOD NIGHT, MOM! LOVE YOU! GOOD NIGHT, MOM! LOVE YOU! LOVE YOU, BABY! LOVE YOU! LOVE YOU, BABY! HEY.
LOVE YOU, BABY! HEY.
HEY.
HEY.
HEY.
YOU GOT ENOUGH PILLOWS? HEY.
YOU GOT ENOUGH PILLOWS? YEAH.
YOU GOT ENOUGH PILLOWS? YEAH.
SO YEAH.
SO I WAS TRYING TO USE THIS REMOTE SO I WAS TRYING TO USE THIS REMOTE TO TURN ON YOUR CEILING FAN, I WAS TRYING TO USE THIS REMOTE TO TURN ON YOUR CEILING FAN, BUT IT WAS MAKING A WEIRD NOISE.
TO TURN ON YOUR CEILING FAN, BUT IT WAS MAKING A WEIRD NOISE.
HMM.
BUT IT WAS MAKING A WEIRD NOISE.
HMM.
I'VE NEVER HAD HMM.
I'VE NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH IT.
I'VE NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH IT.
WELL, I THINK SOMETHING A PROBLEM WITH IT.
WELL, I THINK SOMETHING LOOKS BROKEN.
WELL, I THINK SOMETHING LOOKS BROKEN.
SEE, JUST STAND LOOKS BROKEN.
SEE, JUST STAND RIGHT UNDERNEATH IT AND LOOK UP.
SEE, JUST STAND RIGHT UNDERNEATH IT AND LOOK UP.
ALL RIGHT.
RIGHT UNDERNEATH IT AND LOOK UP.
ALL RIGHT.
HMM.
ALL RIGHT.
HMM.
[ SCREAMS .]
HMM.
[ SCREAMS .]
WOW.
HOW ABOUT THAT? [ SCREAMS .]
WOW.
HOW ABOUT THAT? GOOD NIGHT.
WOW.
HOW ABOUT THAT? GOOD NIGHT.
[ GRUNTING .]
YOU'RE GOING DOWN.
I'M COMING UP.
HERE IT COMES.
I'M COMING UP.
HERE IT COMES.
IT'S COMING BACK.
HERE IT COMES.
IT'S COMING BACK.
I'M THE KING OF PING.
IT'S COMING BACK.
I'M THE KING OF PING.
I'M THE MASTER OF PONG.
I'M THE KING OF PING.
I'M THE MASTER OF PONG.
LOOK OUT NOW.
I'M THE MASTER OF PONG.
LOOK OUT NOW.
[ HORN BLOWING .]
LOOK OUT NOW.
[ HORN BLOWING .]
AND I WIN AGAIN.
[ HORN BLOWING .]
AND I WIN AGAIN.
NO.
AND I WIN AGAIN.
NO.
YES.
NO.
YES.
AND THAT MEANS I KEEP YES.
AND THAT MEANS I KEEP THE PING PONG CHAMPIONSHIP BELT.
AND THAT MEANS I KEEP THE PING PONG CHAMPIONSHIP BELT.
[ LAUGHS .]
THE PING PONG CHAMPIONSHIP BELT.
[ LAUGHS .]
HOO, HOO, HOO.
[ LAUGHS .]
HOO, HOO, HOO.
BUT SCHWOZ DISTRACTED ME.
HOO, HOO, HOO.
BUT SCHWOZ DISTRACTED ME.
HEY.
BUT SCHWOZ DISTRACTED ME.
HEY.
PING PONG'S ABOUT THREE THINGS, HEY.
PING PONG'S ABOUT THREE THINGS, PADDLES, PING PONG'S ABOUT THREE THINGS, PADDLES, STAYING FOCUSED, PADDLES, STAYING FOCUSED, AND SMALL PLASTIC BALLS.
STAYING FOCUSED, AND SMALL PLASTIC BALLS.
WHY'D YOU WALK IN HERE AND SMALL PLASTIC BALLS.
WHY'D YOU WALK IN HERE AND BLOW THAT THING? WHY'D YOU WALK IN HERE AND BLOW THAT THING? I FOUND IT IN A DUMPSTER.
AND BLOW THAT THING? I FOUND IT IN A DUMPSTER.
[ BEEPING .]
I FOUND IT IN A DUMPSTER.
[ BEEPING .]
UGH, GROSS.
[ BEEPING .]
UGH, GROSS.
YOU GUYS STILL HAVEN' UGH, GROSS.
YOU GUYS STILL HAVEN' CLEANED THAT TUBE? YOU GUYS STILL HAVEN' CLEANED THAT TUBE? HELLO.
CLEANED THAT TUBE? HELLO.
HEY, CHAR.
HELLO.
HEY, CHAR.
HI.
HEY, CHAR.
HI.
CHARLOTTE.
HI.
CHARLOTTE.
NO THANKS, I JUST ATE A TACO.
CHARLOTTE.
NO THANKS, I JUST ATE A TACO.
WHAT'S UP WITH HER? NO THANKS, I JUST ATE A TACO.
WHAT'S UP WITH HER? WORRY ABOUT HER LATER.
WHAT'S UP WITH HER? WORRY ABOUT HER LATER.
RIGHT NOW YOU AND SCHWOZ WORRY ABOUT HER LATER.
RIGHT NOW YOU AND SCHWOZ ARE GOING TO CLEAN THAT TUBE.
RIGHT NOW YOU AND SCHWOZ ARE GOING TO CLEAN THAT TUBE.
OR ARE GOING TO CLEAN THAT TUBE.
OR I CHALLENGE YOU.
OR I CHALLENGE YOU.
TO WHAT? I CHALLENGE YOU.
TO WHAT? TO ANOTHER GAME OF PING PONG.
TO WHAT? TO ANOTHER GAME OF PING PONG.
HUH.
TO ANOTHER GAME OF PING PONG.
HUH.
IF I LOSE, HUH.
IF I LOSE, ME AND SCHWOZ CLEAN THE TUBE.
IF I LOSE, ME AND SCHWOZ CLEAN THE TUBE.
IF YOU LOSE, YOU CLEAN IT.
ME AND SCHWOZ CLEAN THE TUBE.
IF YOU LOSE, YOU CLEAN IT.
WHILE WEARING DUCKY PAJAMAS.
IF YOU LOSE, YOU CLEAN IT.
WHILE WEARING DUCKY PAJAMAS.
NO, DON'T MAKE THIS BET.
WHILE WEARING DUCKY PAJAMAS.
NO, DON'T MAKE THIS BET.
IT'S A BET.
NO, DON'T MAKE THIS BET.
IT'S A BET.
DOH.
IT'S A BET.
DOH.
HE MADE IT DESPITE MY PROTESTS.
DOH.
HE MADE IT DESPITE MY PROTESTS.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
HE MADE IT DESPITE MY PROTESTS.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
HEY.
[ DOORBELL RINGS .]
HEY.
WELCOME BACK, NEIGHBOR.
HEY.
WELCOME BACK, NEIGHBOR.
GET IN HERE.
WELCOME BACK, NEIGHBOR.
GET IN HERE.
OKAY.
GET IN HERE.
OKAY.
HERE, COME SIT WITH ME.
OKAY.
HERE, COME SIT WITH ME.
SURE.
HERE, COME SIT WITH ME.
SURE.
SO SURE.
SO I WAS WONDERING SO I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'D TAKE A SURVEY.
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'D TAKE A SURVEY.
IT'S FOR CHARITY.
IF YOU'D TAKE A SURVEY.
IT'S FOR CHARITY.
ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.
IT'S FOR CHARITY.
ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.
THANKS.
ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.
THANKS.
QUESTION NUMBER ONE, THANKS.
QUESTION NUMBER ONE, IF YOU WANTED TO TYPE SOMETHING QUESTION NUMBER ONE, IF YOU WANTED TO TYPE SOMETHING THAT WAS BETWEEN IF YOU WANTED TO TYPE SOMETHING THAT WAS BETWEEN 6 AND 15 CHARACTERS LONG, THAT WAS BETWEEN 6 AND 15 CHARACTERS LONG, AND YOU DIDN'T WANT ANYONE ELSE 6 AND 15 CHARACTERS LONG, AND YOU DIDN'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO BE ABLE TO GUESS IT, AND YOU DIDN'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO BE ABLE TO GUESS IT, WHAT WOULD YOU TYPE, TO BE ABLE TO GUESS IT, WHAT WOULD YOU TYPE, AND WHICH CHARACTERS WHAT WOULD YOU TYPE, AND WHICH CHARACTERS WOULD BE UPPER CASE AND WHICH CHARACTERS WOULD BE UPPER CASE AND WHICH WOULD BE LOWER CASE? WOULD BE UPPER CASE AND WHICH WOULD BE LOWER CASE? PIPER.
AND WHICH WOULD BE LOWER CASE? PIPER.
YEAH, WHAT? PIPER.
YEAH, WHAT? ARE YOU TRYING TO FIGURE OU YEAH, WHAT? ARE YOU TRYING TO FIGURE OU MY PASSWORD FOR SOMETHING? ARE YOU TRYING TO FIGURE OU MY PASSWORD FOR SOMETHING? UGH.
MY PASSWORD FOR SOMETHING? UGH.
OKAY, YES.
UGH.
OKAY, YES.
YES, I AM.
OKAY, YES.
YES, I AM.
LOOK, OUR INTERNET IS SO SLOW.
YES, I AM.
LOOK, OUR INTERNET IS SO SLOW.
AND YOURS IS SO FAST.
LOOK, OUR INTERNET IS SO SLOW.
AND YOURS IS SO FAST.
BUT YOU GUYS AND YOURS IS SO FAST.
BUT YOU GUYS CHANGED YOUR PASSWORD BUT YOU GUYS CHANGED YOUR PASSWORD AND NOW I CAN'T ACCESS CHANGED YOUR PASSWORD AND NOW I CAN'T ACCESS YOUR WI-FI.
AND NOW I CAN'T ACCESS YOUR WI-FI.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR WI-FI.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS.
YOU CAN TOTALLY USE OUR WI-FI.
TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS.
YOU CAN TOTALLY USE OUR WI-FI.
I CAN? YOU CAN TOTALLY USE OUR WI-FI.
I CAN? SURE.
I CAN? SURE.
AND THE PASSWORD'S EASY.
SURE.
AND THE PASSWORD'S EASY.
IT'S JUST MY FIRST NAME.
AND THE PASSWORD'S EASY.
IT'S JUST MY FIRST NAME.
OH, GREAT.
IT'S JUST MY FIRST NAME.
OH, GREAT.
YOUR FIRST NAME? OH, GREAT.
YOUR FIRST NAME? YEAH.
YOUR FIRST NAME? YEAH.
UM YEAH.
UM OH, UM UM OH, UM WELL, QUICK QUESTION.
OH, UM WELL, QUICK QUESTION.
OH MY GOD.
WELL, QUICK QUESTION.
OH MY GOD.
DON'T GET MAD.
OH MY GOD.
DON'T GET MAD.
YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME.
DON'T GET MAD.
YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME.
WELL, I WAS TRYING-- YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME.
WELL, I WAS TRYING-- I'VE LIVED NEXT DOOR TO YOU WELL, I WAS TRYING-- I'VE LIVED NEXT DOOR TO YOU FOR SEVEN YEARS.
I'VE LIVED NEXT DOOR TO YOU FOR SEVEN YEARS.
I KNOW, BUT YOU NEVER-- FOR SEVEN YEARS.
I KNOW, BUT YOU NEVER-- I BABYSAT YOU.
I KNOW, BUT YOU NEVER-- I BABYSAT YOU.
AND YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
I BABYSAT YOU.
AND YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
YOU CAME TO MY BAT MITZVAH.
AND YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
YOU CAME TO MY BAT MITZVAH.
YOUR HEBREW WAS SPOT ON.
YOU CAME TO MY BAT MITZVAH.
YOUR HEBREW WAS SPOT ON.
WAIT.
PLEASE.
YOUR HEBREW WAS SPOT ON.
WAIT.
PLEASE.
I NEED FAST INTERNET.
WAIT.
PLEASE.
I NEED FAST INTERNET.
FINE, JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
I NEED FAST INTERNET.
FINE, JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
I'M ALREADY GONE.
FINE, JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
I'M ALREADY GONE.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M ALREADY GONE.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOUR BAT MITZVAH WAS LAME! WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOUR BAT MITZVAH WAS LAME! SHABBAT SHA'LAME! YOUR BAT MITZVAH WAS LAME! SHABBAT SHA'LAME! HEY, CHAR.
SHABBAT SHA'LAME! HEY, CHAR.
CHARLOTTE.
HEY, CHAR.
CHARLOTTE.
CHARLOTTE.
CHARLOTTE.
CHARLOTTE.
WHAT? CHARLOTTE.
WHAT? WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? WHAT? WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT PICS WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT PICS OF JASPER'S GIRLFRIEND? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT PICS OF JASPER'S GIRLFRIEND? BECAUSE SHE'S TRYING OF JASPER'S GIRLFRIEND? BECAUSE SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME.
BECAUSE SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME.
WHAT? TO KILL ME.
WHAT? LAST NIGHT, I THINK WHAT? LAST NIGHT, I THINK SHE LOOSENED SOME BOLTS LAST NIGHT, I THINK SHE LOOSENED SOME BOLTS ON MY CEILING FAN.
SHE LOOSENED SOME BOLTS ON MY CEILING FAN.
BECAUSE IT FELL ON MY CEILING FAN.
BECAUSE IT FELL AND ALMOST TOOK MY HEAD OFF.
BECAUSE IT FELL AND ALMOST TOOK MY HEAD OFF.
WHY WOULD COURTNEY AND ALMOST TOOK MY HEAD OFF.
WHY WOULD COURTNEY WANT TO HURT YOU? WHY WOULD COURTNEY WANT TO HURT YOU? I DON'T KNOW.
WANT TO HURT YOU? I DON'T KNOW.
BUT SHE'S ACTING ALL JEALOUS.
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT SHE'S ACTING ALL JEALOUS.
WHY WOULD SHE BE JEALOUS OF ME? BUT SHE'S ACTING ALL JEALOUS.
WHY WOULD SHE BE JEALOUS OF ME? UH WHY WOULD SHE BE JEALOUS OF ME? UH WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "UH?" UH WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "UH?" SEE, AT SCHOOL, I MIGHT HAVE WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "UH?" SEE, AT SCHOOL, I MIGHT HAVE KIND OF MADE COURTNEY SEE, AT SCHOOL, I MIGHT HAVE KIND OF MADE COURTNEY THINK THAT JASPER KIND OF MADE COURTNEY THINK THAT JASPER KIND OF THINK THAT JASPER KIND OF LOVED YOU.
KIND OF LOVED YOU.
WELL, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? LOVED YOU.
WELL, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? BECAUSE HE DOES LOVE YOU WELL, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? BECAUSE HE DOES LOVE YOU AS A FRIEND.
BECAUSE HE DOES LOVE YOU AS A FRIEND.
BUT SHE'D DIDN'T GET THAT.
AS A FRIEND.
BUT SHE'D DIDN'T GET THAT.
YEAH, ALL SHE GO BUT SHE'D DIDN'T GET THAT.
YEAH, ALL SHE GO WAS A REASON TO KILL ME.
YEAH, ALL SHE GO WAS A REASON TO KILL ME.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WAS A REASON TO KILL ME.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? HELP ME TELL JASPER WANT ME TO DO? HELP ME TELL JASPER THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND HELP ME TELL JASPER THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND IS A CRAZY JEALOUS LUNATIC.
THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND IS A CRAZY JEALOUS LUNATIC.
HE'LL NEVER BELIEVE US.
IS A CRAZY JEALOUS LUNATIC.
HE'LL NEVER BELIEVE US.
OKAY.
HE'LL NEVER BELIEVE US.
OKAY.
THEN WE'RE GOING TO TELL HIM, OKAY.
THEN WE'RE GOING TO TELL HIM, AND WE'RE GOING TO SHOW HIM.
THEN WE'RE GOING TO TELL HIM, AND WE'RE GOING TO SHOW HIM.
HOW? AND WE'RE GOING TO SHOW HIM.
HOW? YOU AND JASPER ARE GOING HOW? YOU AND JASPER ARE GOING TO HIDE IN MY ROOM TONIGHT, YOU AND JASPER ARE GOING TO HIDE IN MY ROOM TONIGHT, AND HE'LL SEE FOR HIMSELF TO HIDE IN MY ROOM TONIGHT, AND HE'LL SEE FOR HIMSELF HOW KOO-KOO HIS GIRLFRIEND IS.
AND HE'LL SEE FOR HIMSELF HOW KOO-KOO HIS GIRLFRIEND IS.
AH, I DON'T KNOW.
HOW KOO-KOO HIS GIRLFRIEND IS.
AH, I DON'T KNOW.
PLEASE? AH, I DON'T KNOW.
PLEASE? DO YOU STILL KEEP PLEASE? DO YOU STILL KEEP THAT DISH OF GUMMY BEARS DO YOU STILL KEEP THAT DISH OF GUMMY BEARS BY YOUR CLOSET DOOR? THAT DISH OF GUMMY BEARS BY YOUR CLOSET DOOR? YEAH.
BY YOUR CLOSET DOOR? YEAH.
OKAY, I'LL DO IT.
YEAH.
OKAY, I'LL DO IT.
HI.
HOW ARE YOU? OKAY, I'LL DO IT.
HI.
HOW ARE YOU? WHY DID YOU GET OUT OF BED? HI.
HOW ARE YOU? WHY DID YOU GET OUT OF BED? OH, I JUST NEED WHY DID YOU GET OUT OF BED? OH, I JUST NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM.
OH, I JUST NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM.
WAIT.
TO USE THE BATHROOM.
WAIT.
YEAH? WAIT.
YEAH? LISTEN.
YEAH? LISTEN.
I KNOW HENRY TOLD YOU LISTEN.
I KNOW HENRY TOLD YOU THAT JASPER LOVES ME.
I KNOW HENRY TOLD YOU THAT JASPER LOVES ME.
OH.
THAT JASPER LOVES ME.
OH.
WELL, YEAH.
OH.
WELL, YEAH.
HE DID.
WELL, YEAH.
HE DID.
RIGHT.
HE DID.
RIGHT.
BUT I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND RIGHT.
BUT I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND HE MEANT JUST AS FRIENDS.
BUT I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND HE MEANT JUST AS FRIENDS.
I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING HE MEANT JUST AS FRIENDS.
I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO TAKE JASPER AWAY FROM YOU I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO TAKE JASPER AWAY FROM YOU OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
TO TAKE JASPER AWAY FROM YOU OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
OH.
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
OH.
WELL, THANKS.
OH.
WELL, THANKS.
I REALLY APPRECIATE WELL, THANKS.
I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU TELLING ME.
I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU TELLING ME.
SEE? SHE'S NOT INSANE.
YOU TELLING ME.
SEE? SHE'S NOT INSANE.
YOU BOTH OWE ME AN APOLOGY.
SEE? SHE'S NOT INSANE.
YOU BOTH OWE ME AN APOLOGY.
NO.
YOU BOTH OWE ME AN APOLOGY.
NO.
SHE MAY BE ACTING NICE NOW, NO.
SHE MAY BE ACTING NICE NOW, BUT I'M TELLING YOU, SHE MAY BE ACTING NICE NOW, BUT I'M TELLING YOU, SHE NEEDS HELP.
BUT I'M TELLING YOU, SHE NEEDS HELP.
I THINK SHE NEEDS HELP.
I THINK SHE SEEMS PRETTY NICE.
I THINK SHE SEEMS PRETTY NICE.
THEN EXPLAIN THE CEILING FAN SHE SEEMS PRETTY NICE.
THEN EXPLAIN THE CEILING FAN ALMOST FALLING ON MY HEAD.
THEN EXPLAIN THE CEILING FAN ALMOST FALLING ON MY HEAD.
AAH! ALMOST FALLING ON MY HEAD.
AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN! AAH! STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT! STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT! I'LL GET YOU! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT! I'LL GET YOU! OKAY, MAYBE SHE NEEDS HELP.
I'LL GET YOU! OKAY, MAYBE SHE NEEDS HELP.
[ GRUNTING .]
OKAY, MAYBE SHE NEEDS HELP.
[ GRUNTING .]
WHOO.
HA, HA.
YEAH.
[ GRUNTING .]
WHOO.
HA, HA.
YEAH.
THAT'S 17 TO 20.
WHOO.
HA, HA.
YEAH.
THAT'S 17 TO 20.
ONE MORE POINT AND I WIN.
THAT'S 17 TO 20.
ONE MORE POINT AND I WIN.
I KNOW ONE MORE POINT AND I WIN.
I KNOW HOW PING PONG SCORING WORKS.
I KNOW HOW PING PONG SCORING WORKS.
YOUR SERVE.
HOW PING PONG SCORING WORKS.
YOUR SERVE.
ARE YOU STALLING? YOUR SERVE.
ARE YOU STALLING? NO, IT'S JUST SCHWOZ ARE YOU STALLING? NO, IT'S JUST SCHWOZ IS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE NO, IT'S JUST SCHWOZ IS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AND HE'S LATE, SO IS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AND HE'S LATE, SO KID, IT'S GAME POINT.
AND HE'S LATE, SO KID, IT'S GAME POINT.
JUST SERVE, LOSE, KID, IT'S GAME POINT.
JUST SERVE, LOSE, AND GET TO SCRUBBING JUST SERVE, LOSE, AND GET TO SCRUBBING THE FILTHY TUBE.
AND GET TO SCRUBBING THE FILTHY TUBE.
HEY, GUYS.
THE FILTHY TUBE.
HEY, GUYS.
RAY, THIS IS LARRY.
HEY, GUYS.
RAY, THIS IS LARRY.
ARE YOU CRAZY? RAY, THIS IS LARRY.
ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU CAN'T BRING PEOPLE ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU CAN'T BRING PEOPLE DOWN TO THE MAN CAVE.
YOU CAN'T BRING PEOPLE DOWN TO THE MAN CAVE.
LARRY IS FAMILY.
DOWN TO THE MAN CAVE.
LARRY IS FAMILY.
YOU SAID I COULD BRING ANYONE LARRY IS FAMILY.
YOU SAID I COULD BRING ANYONE IN MY FAMILY DOWN HERE YOU SAID I COULD BRING ANYONE IN MY FAMILY DOWN HERE EXCEPT FOR MY SISTER IN MY FAMILY DOWN HERE EXCEPT FOR MY SISTER WHO LOOKS LIKE A HORSE.
EXCEPT FOR MY SISTER WHO LOOKS LIKE A HORSE.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
WHO LOOKS LIKE A HORSE.
OH.
ALL RIGHT.
BUT I'M JUST ABOUT TO BEAT HENRY OH.
ALL RIGHT.
BUT I'M JUST ABOUT TO BEAT HENRY AT PING PONG SO IF YOU GUYS-- BUT I'M JUST ABOUT TO BEAT HENRY AT PING PONG SO IF YOU GUYS-- JUST A SEC.
AT PING PONG SO IF YOU GUYS-- JUST A SEC.
LARRY, RIGHT THERE.
JUST A SEC.
LARRY, RIGHT THERE.
WHAT'S HAPPENING? LARRY, RIGHT THERE.
WHAT'S HAPPENING? YOU SAID THAT PING PONG WHAT'S HAPPENING? YOU SAID THAT PING PONG IS ALL ABOUT STAYING FOCUSED.
YOU SAID THAT PING PONG IS ALL ABOUT STAYING FOCUSED.
YEAH, BUT WHAT'S THE-- IS ALL ABOUT STAYING FOCUSED.
YEAH, BUT WHAT'S THE-- [ MUSIC STARTS .]
YEAH, BUT WHAT'S THE-- [ MUSIC STARTS .]
18-20.
[ MUSIC STARTS .]
18-20.
18-20.
18-20.
18-20.
WAIT A MINUTE.
18-20.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I WASN'T READY.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I WASN'T READY.
GOT TO STAY FOCUSED.
I WASN'T READY.
GOT TO STAY FOCUSED.
[ GRUNTING .]
GOT TO STAY FOCUSED.
[ GRUNTING .]
19-20.
[ GRUNTING .]
19-20.
19-20.
19-20.
19-20.
OOH.
20-20.
19-20.
OOH.
20-20.
YOU GOT TO WIN BY TWO.
OOH.
20-20.
YOU GOT TO WIN BY TWO.
NO PROB.
YOU GOT TO WIN BY TWO.
NO PROB.
[ SIREN WAILING .]
NO PROB.
[ SIREN WAILING .]
HA, HA.
21-20.
[ SIREN WAILING .]
HA, HA.
21-20.
HENRY, ONE MORE POIN HA, HA.
21-20.
HENRY, ONE MORE POIN AND WE WON'T HAVE HENRY, ONE MORE POIN AND WE WON'T HAVE TO WEAR THE PAJAMAS.
AND WE WON'T HAVE TO WEAR THE PAJAMAS.
YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS.
TO WEAR THE PAJAMAS.
YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS.
HA, HA.
22-20.
YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS.
HA, HA.
22-20.
THE KID WINS.
HA, HA.
22-20.
THE KID WINS.
WHOO.
YEAH.
THE KID WINS.
WHOO.
YEAH.
YOU'RE DOING GREAT, RAY.
WHOO.
YEAH.
YOU'RE DOING GREAT, RAY.
KEEP IT UP, RAY.
[ OVEN BELL .]