How to Rock (2012) s01e25 Episode Script

Is this what I think it is? Do you think it's an Eiffel Tower made out of cotton swabs? - I do.
- You are correct.
No offense, but this is a flea market to raise money for the computer lab.
Do you really think anyone's going to pay good money for that? I'm thinking this could go for $1,000.
- I'll give you a buck 50.
- Sold.
Worth every penny.
- Mind if I join you? - I would mind if you didn't.
Where should we set up our boutique? Boutique? Oh, we'll be selling our line of Puppy Couture, and we don't want our puppy models to be sitting in filth.
Your filth.
[Scoffs.]
Uh, excuse me.
There is nothing wrong with our filth.
Check out this puppy tuxedo! So cute, I could cry.
[High-pitched.]
So tiny.
Hey.
Guys, guys.
Okay, guess what I'm doing.
Milking a cow? No! Okay.
I should've done this.
Oh, hi! [Chuckles.]
Oh, yeah! Ooh, that's gonna hurt the cow.
No! I'm driving.
I got my permit, and I'm going to take Driving lessons.
- That's awesome! - Congratulations.
- This is huge, Kacey.
- I know.
Oh, it seems like only yesterday you were riding a tricycle.
Yesterday, you were riding a tricycle.
My bike broke, okay? So who are you taking driving lessons with? [Scoffs.]
It's not important.
Danny Mango.
Danny Mango, the Smoothie King? Danny Mango, the Pilates King? Danny Mango, the Laser Hair Removal King? There's a King of laser hair removal? Danny Mango.
Well, he's all of those things, but he also happens to be the cheapest driving instructor in town.
All righty.
Uh, where's your stuff for the flea market? Oh! You're flea market, right.
Girl, I brought stuff, lots of stuff.
Ha! See, mints! Lots of 'em.
[Mints clacking.]
Now, we could sell them individually or as a set.
Kacey, we were supposed to bring stuff for the flea market.
You are so irresponsible.
How can you say that? Remember when you borrowed my math book and you said you'd give it right back? Yeah.
Yeah, that was five years ago.
What's up, freaky gravity freaks? This flea market is gonna be off the hizzy.
- What? - It's gonna be good, man.
It's gonna be good! Say that.
Are you doing your own booth, Mister March? Of course, every year, my booth is the hottest booth.
Who wouldn't want to take a piece of Mister March home? You're right.
This Mister March wrench is off the hizzy.
Yeah, be careful with that.
It was my grandma's.
You break it.
You buy it.
All right, now, listen.
Since I'm going to be overseeing this flea market, I'm gonna need someone to help me run my booth.
- Someone I can depend on.
- You mean Someone responsible? Yeah, any volunteers? All right.
I'll do it.
Anybody else? I mean, anybody else I mean, even if you know somebody that doesn't go to this school.
[All muttering.]
What's wrong with me doing it? I can be responsible.
Kacey, remember when I asked you to feed my fish when I went on vacation? Uh! Well, in my defense, that fish was very old.
Fine, but for the record Gertrude was very young, excited about life.
Very old.
Young.
[Upbeat pop music.]
Only you can be you.
Only I can be me.
You always want to be what you're not.
Can't you be happy with what you've got? You're perfect the way you are.
With your insecurities, flaws, and scars.
Your life's too short to worry.
Don't you know it's true.
Only you can be you.
Only I can be me.
Only you can be you.
Only I can be me.
Only you can be you.
Only I can be me.
Only you can be you.
Only I can be me.
I can be me.
[Dog barking.]
Perf Puppy Wear! Get your Perf Puppy Wear.
Put some cuteness in your life.
Most of you need it.
Wow, can't believe so many people want our stuff.
Trust me.
Nobody's after our stuff.
What? [Beat boxing.]
- It's breakfast! - You're out here shopping.
And your stomach needs a snack.
Step right up to Kevin's Waffle Shack.
Strawberries, raspberries, fruit toppings galore.
Whipped cream and a cherry cost you 2 bucks more.
- Good deal.
- It's hot.
- You're the man.
- Oh, stop.
[Cheers and applause.]
I'm liking how you have everything set out and priced.
Has March-Mania kicked in yet? Not yet.
Because you don't have this out yet.
That's a game ball used by tennis great Vaklov Sakskinova, finals of the U.
S.
Open.
It's even signed.
Sakskinova? First of all, that name sounds made up, and second of all, what's with the wig? This bad boy got me out of Barcelona and into China.
We'll leave it at that.
Okay, well, uh, how much is the bouncy ball selling for? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's not for sale.
That's my prized possession.
People are gonna come pouring in just to check it out, then you stick 'em with the wig.
March-Mania.
All right, listen, I got to go.
My mom's gonna clean my teeth.
What? Don't give me that look.
She's a dentist.
Okay, well, uh, thank you for trusting me, Mister March, and don't worry.
I got this.
All right, sell everything, except the tennis ball.
If I lose that, I'll be dead inside.
Well, dead-er inside.
Hey, Andy, how's it going? Ah, you know, every day is a gift.
Can't help but notice you have a chimpanzee.
Ah, how rude of me.
Zander, General Ackbar.
The two of us had a great run, but I'm putting him up for sale.
[Chimpanzee chittering.]
Wasn't that great of a run.
Kissing booth: $1.
You want people to pay you a dollar to kiss them? No, I'm paying them a dollar to kiss me.
Is that making money for the school? No, Sir, it's not.
Sounds reasonable.
How's business? Surprisingly slow.
It's probably just a misunderstanding.
I'll get the word out.
- Thanks, Zander.
- Yeah.
Peace, my dude.
Oh, so now you're nice? [Chimpanzee chittering.]
Unbelievable.
[Phone chimes.]
Ooh, a text from Danny Mango? He can give me a driving lesson right now.
Ah, I thought I'd have to wait weeks.
Oh, man.
Stevie, Stevie, come here.
Come here, come here.
Let's say that you made a commitment to Mister March, but you also had a sick friend in the hospital.
- What should you do? - Well, you got to go visit your friend.
So what you're saying is that whether it's a sick friend in the hospital, or a driving lesson from Danny Mango that the same thing applies.
A driving le what? Thank you so much, Stevie.
You are a big help.
Okay, boys, watch Mister March's booth.
The wig: $10.
Fish: $5.
And whatever you do, don't sell the tennis ball.
- I'm on it.
- I'll be back before you know it.
Mm-hmm.
- What's so special about the ball? - Don't know.
But I heard it helped get Mister March out of a Chinese Restaurant in Barcelona.
Something like that.
Hey, Andy, 10 bucks for the chimp? Not only have you insulted me, you've insulted General Ackbar.
I'm sorry you had to hear that, General.
Danny Mango would like to welcome you, to Danny Mango's school of defensive driving.
I'm Danny Mango.
Uh, yes, we've met.
You fired me.
Oh, from the laser hair removal place? - No, the smoothie place.
- Oh, right, right, right, right.
Yeah.
Anyhoo, uh, Danny Mango's got to ask you a few questions before we start.
Oh, okay.
How did you learn about Danny Mango's school of defensive driving? Internet or late-night commercial? Um, crumpled-up flyer at the bottom of a garbage can.
Late-night commercial, excellent.
Would you recommend Danny Mango's school of defensive driving to your friends? Um, I don't know.
We haven't started yet.
Highly recommend.
Thank you.
- Okay.
- All right.
So, uh, Danny Mango, where to? Number four Swoboda Road.
Hold up.
We're making home deliveries? You ever wonder why nobody in town can beat Danny Mango's prices? Now you know.
Here, first, put this on.
- Uh, do I really have to wear that? - No, if you don't feel comfortable Yes.
Put it on.
Okay.
Let's Danny man-go! Thanks, Tracy.
Kiss us again soon.
Hey, Andy, looks like business is picking up.
- Thanks for getting the word out, dude.
- No problem.
Zander, you're working with Andy? - Informally, I guess, yeah.
- Awesome.
- What's this for? - This.
[Sighs.]
Thanks for letting me kiss you.
[Girls cheering.]
Hey, Andy, you mind if I pull up a chair next to you and General Ackbar? Join the party.
Hey, ladies, summer just got hotter.
Zander, aren't you supposed to be watching Mister March's booth? Oh, right, I forgot.
I got pulled away on business.
Um, do you mind covering for me? You mean, having girls kiss me? Huh, on it! No, I mean, watching Mister March's booth.
[Dejected.]
On it.
Great, uh, the wig is and whatever you do, do not sell the tennis ball, okay? Enjoy getting kissed.
I'll be busy selling Mister March's junk.
Hey, Nelson.
Do you have anything that my puppies might like? Um, oh, how about this wig? No, they'll just fight over who gets to wear it.
How about this ball? Oh, no, I'm afraid the ball is not for sale.
Not even for me? Would you like me to gift wrap that for you? I'll just take it.
Thanks.
Molly, look.
I got a new toy for our puppies.
Nelly, where's the ball? Gave it to Grace.
She touched my arm.
In your face, kissy boy.
Who wants a chew toy? A chewy, chewy chew toy? Molly, stop.
If anything happens to that ball, Mister March will flip out on Kacey.
Nelly, help me.
Right here.
So I can make my puppies happy, or I can make Kacey happy? Pretty much.
Just take it.
- Thanks.
- For what? I did nothing.
No, Molly, you did a really nice nothing.
Okay, I have two regular waffles, one with banana, no whip, one with walnuts, no fruit, and who ordered the waffle with No waffle.
Zander, get back to Mister March's booth and watch the ball.
[Gasps.]
Guys, what is the ball doing over here? Uh General, can I please have the ball? Can't believe I'm actually pleading with a chimp.
Can I please have the [Gasps.]
Look, Molly, we did a good deed, and the monkey rewarded us with a new ball.
Who got a present? Who got a present from the monkey? Oh, no, no, no, no.
Molly, don't.
Kacey, I've already saved you once today.
[Exhales.]
Please.
Please.
Hold on to it this time.
I'm like the nicest person in the world.
Splat! [Waffle iron sizzles.]
Ah! No, no, no, no, no! Ah! Oh, I'm responsible for the Tennis ball.
Uh, don't worry.
I can fix it.
[Can hissing.]
Who's the man? [Whimpering.]
Look at what you did to Mister March's prized possession.
- Me? It was Molly's fault.
- General Ackbar threw it at me.
- Thanks to Stevie.
- Uh, Nelson gave it away.
- Well, Zander left his post - Kacey went driving.
[All shouting.]
Stop it! Stop it! It was everyone's fault! Except my fault.
It was everyone's fault.
Well, what are we gonna do about it? Mister March is at the dentist, so we don't have that much time to come up with a replacement ball.
Well, let's look online and see if there's any, sports memorabilia stores that sell them, okay? - Okay.
- Good idea.
All right, um, well, there's none in the area.
Oh, wait, this is interesting.
It says Vaklov Sakskinova is playing a tennis tournament in the city today.
Great.
Let's go there and ask Vaklov if he knows of any sports memorabilia stores.
Or we could ask him to sign another tennis ball for us.
- Right, right.
Hmm.
- Well, how are we gonna get there? Guys Hello? Again with the cows.
Danny Mango wants to know, if any of your friends are from the Better Business Bureau.
What? No.
Um I was just telling them how awesome you are, and they wanted to see the King in action.
That pleases Danny Mango.
Danny Mango sees a lot of potential students in here.
Yeah, Molly Garfunkel will not be one of them.
It smells like old mango in here.
My father does drive this car, yes.
He is the eldest Mango.
Kacey, start the car, and take a left at the corner.
Uh, Kacey, the tennis center's to the right.
Is Danny Mango going to play tennis? Let's not rule out Danny Mango playing tennis, because we actually have no plan whatsoever.
Does Danny Mango play tennis? Have you never heard of Danny Mango's tennis academy? First lesson free.
Second lesson Twice the price but just as nice.
Oh.
Okay, these seats aren't close enough to the court, we'll never get to Vaklov.
We don't have much time, guys.
Mister March is probably rinsing and spitting by now.
Well, how are we gonna get down there? Nobody's allowed on the court except for players and ball boys.
You two could be ball boys.
Or players.
Ball boys it is! - You're going in.
- No way.
No, Kacey.
Tennis pros serve balls at 150 miles per hour.
That's like getting hit by a bullet.
Actually, uh, bullets go 650 miles per hour.
Oh, you done, Professor? Well, you know how you guys are always saying that you'd take a bullet for me? I have never said that.
I did say that, but I did not mean it.
I like to think of us as Kacey's heroes.
We're not heroes.
We're suckers.
And we're about to die.
- Duck! - Ah! Mmm.
This lemonade is delectable.
- Really? I think it's too lemony.
- Totes lemony.
Ah! - Ah! - Ooh.
Sure glad I'm not down there.
This plan is a disaster.
Anyone else got a plan? Eh? Wide-open here.
No? All right.
Sticking with this plan.
[Both screaming.]
Advantage, Sakskinova.
Okay, my tennis whites, yeah, they just got yellow.
I'm out of here.
- No! - Never! Never! Second serve.
And then there was one.
Ah! Guys! - Uh, Kevin's got the ball! - Fingers crossed! - Oh, hate to disturb you - It's the middle of a game! Oh, got it.
See, but my history teacher's about to be done getting his teeth cleaned, and I promised Kacey I'd take a bullet for her - I'm in the middle of a game.
- Look, Vaklov.
I'm not leaving until you sign this ball.
- Give me the ball.
- Oh, V-dog, my man.
Don't you need the marker to sign the ball? I'm not signing it for you.
I'm serving it at you.
Ah! [Screaming.]
[All cheering.]
What do I have to do to get you people out of here? Sign, please? Thanks for waiting, Mr.
Mango.
No problem, while Danny Mango was waiting, he waxed three eyebrows and a couple backs.
Anyone else going to say gross, or does it have to be me? - I'm thinking about throwing up.
- Use the Mango Wipes.
- How are we doing on time? - Not great.
Guys, we have to beat Mister March back, or nothing we did will matter.
- Well, maybe his appointment took longer.
- Yeah, maybe he doesn't floss.
Oh, super good chance he doesn't floss.
Danny Mango sees a red light.
Danny Mango says slow down, and Danny Mango says stop.
Ha.
I am so good at braking, it's "ridikolus".
Ah! Holy mango, it's Mister March, duck! [All scream.]
Mr.
Mango, do you mind taking the wheel? Danny Mango never let go.
Ah, yes! [Sighs.]
We beat Mister March.
Okay, give me that ball.
Oh, I don't have the ball.
What? But I gave you the ball to hold.
Yeah, and I gave it to Kevin to hold.
- Great, where's Kevin? - He's in the bathroom.
His stomach didn't enjoy the ride back.
Danny Mango's not a good driving instructor.
- It's Mister March! - What? What's up, tiny humans? What are you doing? You're blocking March-Mania.
Spread out.
[Kids chuckling nervously.]
Okay, what's going on here? Listen, I got to get to my ball, it's been three hours.
I have got to see the ball.
Separation anxiety.
Uh, Mister March, how are your gums? It's a little personal.
Now I got to see my ball.
Oh, my stars.
Wow, Mister March, there's your ball.
Why am I so surprised? It's been here all day.
This is not my ball.
Of course it is your ball.
Because it has a signature from Vakslov Sakse-something-Stein.
Kacey, this is not my ball.
What's going on here? Uh I ruined your ball.
- I blew it, okay? - It was all of our faults.
[All talking at once.]
No, no, no.
It was my responsibility.
And we managed to get it signed by Vaklov.
But you're right.
This is not your prized possession.
Kacey, you know what? I'm proud of you.
I mean, you messed up big time.
Big time.
But you showed a whole lot of responsibility making things right.
Wait, so you're not upset with me? No.
This ball's a lot better than the one I had.
That was fake.
I signed it myself.
You signed the ball yourself? It's a thing people do.
I'm not proud of it.
Do you know what we did to get that ball? We almost died.
I had to endure terrible $12 lemonade.
That souvenir cup? So tacky.
Oh, how you've suffered.
I've got a real Vaklov Sakskinova tennis ball.
Who wants to buy a real Vaklov Sakskinova tennis ball? I don't, but how much for the wig? Danny Mango knows brunettes always have more fun.
I'm gonna have nightmares.
Danny Mango, you know, I'm having a little trouble concentrating.
Why's that? We've done this dozens of times.
Does he have to be here? I mean, I just feel like he's judging me.
Do you have a problem with my new regional sales manager? What? No.
Good.
Where to, General? This feels a little bit lighter.
Have you been eating What am I talking about? I trust you.
Ah, well, you just think you're so great.
Don't you, General? [Chimpanzee chatters.]
Well, I don't see you driving.