The Flintstones (1960) s01e25 Episode Script

In the Dough

Watch it, will you, Barney? Remember you're supposed to be Mrs.
Betty Rubble.
Okay, Fred, I'll remember.
But I still don't think we'll get away with impersonating our wives.
Stop worrying, Barney.
We fooled the sponsor, didn't we? Now go thin your eyebrows out.
They look like a couple of birds' nests.
And before Mrs.
Flintstone wins $10,000, she'd better shave.
Watch it, you've got cold hands.
Oh, dear, it's Barney picking Fred up for work.
He'll be right out.
- Fred! - Yeah, Wilma? - You better hurry.
Barney's here already.
- I'll be right there.
What's the matter with him? Didn't he sleep last night? You'd better put a little something extra in my lunch box, Wilma.
- I'm gonna have to skip breakfast.
- I already did.
- Shall we take it from the top? - Okay, shoot.
Okay.
One peanut butter and stegosaurus sandwich.
Peanut butter and stegosaurus.
Check.
- One hard-boiled dodo egg.
- Check the dodo egg.
One pterodactyl chopped liver sandwich and two frozen dino pizzas.
Check.
What's to drink? - A tomato malt.
- Check.
- One quart of brontosaurus gumbo.
- Check the gumbo.
- There's celery, olives.
- Check.
- Four apples.
- Checkeroni.
- A peach, two pears - Check.
three bananas, five plums, a pineapple, and that wraps it up.
Hold it, hold it.
- Hold what? - You forgot to put something in.
Like what? The living room sofa? No, my dessert, that's like what.
Oh, I forgot.
I already cut a piece of this marble cake I baked this morning.
You got a piece for the other cavity? That's enough for you.
The rest is for Mrs.
Pebble.
Her little boy Alonzo is sick.
That Alonzo.
Probably an upset stomach from all the junk he eats.
Boy, look who's talking.
Come on, Fred, let's go.
Okay, Barney, I am coming.
Keep your shirt on.
- All set, Wilma? - All set.
Five, four, three, two, close it! Fred, what's the matter? My fingers were still in that box.
Impossible.
You couldn't get anything else in there.
You're a droll one.
Very droll.
- Morning, Wilma.
- Hi, Betty.
Come in.
Better hurry, Fred.
Barney's tooting his brains out.
What brains? Anyway, Wilma had to fix me a little snack for lunch.
That's a little snack? It so happens I have a physical type job which calls for a man-sized lunch.
And you've got lots of room to pack it away in.
That happens to be solid muscle.
Go ahead, punch, as hard as you can.
- Fred, please.
- Go on, Betty.
- No, Fred.
- Go on, let it fly with all you got.
Okay with you, Wilma? - He asked for it.
- Come on, Betty, all you got! Hurry up, will you, Fred? You want me to be late for work again? This'll be twice this week.
Boy, the same thing every day.
You never say good morning.
You just sit.
Some morning I'd like to hear you say something, anything.
I don't know how you do it, Wilma.
Your cake is delicious.
I'm not taking all the credit.
It's your recipe.
Maybe so, but mine never comes out as tasty as yours.
You know how I bake.
By feel.
A pinch here, a dash there.
You should pinch and dash yourself into the Tasty Pastry Contest.
Tasty Pastry Contest? You know, the one on TV.
You mean the one with the $10,000 prize for the best recipe? The same.
You can't loose.
You mean we can't loose.
You and I are gonna enter this thing together.
- Really? - Really.
It's your recipe.
And your pinch here and dash there.
It's a cinch.
We'll call it the Upside-down Flint-Rubble bubble cake.
- Partner.
- Partner.
It's almost noon.
Stay for lunch and we'll write out the recipe.
Anything for another piece of that cake.
The heck with it.
- Hiya, Charlie.
- Hiya, Fred.
Boy, it don't take long for you to hit the lunch box.
Speaking of lunch boxes, stand back while I open mine.
Boy, just enough to hold me till dinner.
You're kidding.
What do I see? A hunk of my favorite cake.
Yeah, and I'm saving it for last, and none for you so stop begging.
Thanks, Fred.
Delicious.
What a job.
Do you realize we spent the whole afternoon just chipping out that recipe? I know, but it'll be worth it if we win.
I can't wait to tell Barney.
I can wait to tell Fred.
I can just hear him when I tell him it's called the Upside-down Flint-Rubble bubble cake.
Yeah, I know.
"Upside-down Flint-Rubble bubble cake? "Oh, boy!" Here come the boys now.
Good, maybe I can get Fred to mail the recipe for us before dinner.
- Hi, Fred.
Hi, Barney.
- Hi, Wilma.
Hello, Wilma.
Hello, Betty.
- Can you do us a favor? - Sure, Wilma, what is it? Will you take Dino for a walk and drop this in the mailbox? - It's important.
- Well, sure, Wilma.
Here, Dino, here, boy.
Come on now.
Down, boy, down.
That Dino, he sure loves Fred.
Down, Dino, down.
What is this anyway, Wilma? Betty and I are entering the Tasty Pastry Contest.
Tasty Pastry Contest? It's Betty's recipe for that marble cake.
And Wilma's pinch-of-this-and-dash-of-that system.
We wrote it all down and called it the Upside-down Flint-Rubble bubble cake.
Upside-down Flint-Rubble bubble cake? Oh, boy! How silly can you get? You know these contests are all fixed.
The sponsor's sister-in-law always wins.
Give me one good reason why we should waste a stamp on this contest.
The first prize is $10,000.
That's one good reason.
Come on, Dino.
I'll go with you, Fred.
Flint-Rubble bubble cake.
Oh, boy.
Fred, do you think the girls stand a chance in the Tasty Pastry Contest? Are you kidding? Dino has a better chance of winning than they have.
Whoa, boy, hold it.
That's the boy.
I know it's a waste of time sending this, but here goes.
Air mail! Okay! Do you have to yell? I'm so nervous.
What time does this Tasty Pastry Contest go on? In just a few minutes.
Relax.
I can't relax when I think of all that prize money.
Remember, Betty, money isn't everything.
Yeah, it can't buy friends.
No, but it can get you some high-class enemies.
Did you know the food expert Gravel Gourmet is gonna be the judge? Really? His tongue was written up in Good Cavekeeping.
I know.
I read his book: Put Your Stomach in My Hands.
- Quiet, everybody.
- Here's the show.
Good evening.
Tonight's story of a husband who runs away after his twelfth child is born is called, "Have Enough, Will Travel.
" It is brought to you by the Tasty Pastry Company makers of Gookie Cookies.
Gookie Cookies are the very lightest cookies you can buy.
Gookie Cookies are so light and crunchy because they are made with Tasty Pastry flour.
- Skip it and get to the winner.
- We can't stand the suspense.
Impatient, aren't we? Now, here's a cookie made with this junk.
Watch.
Now, a cookie from Brand "B".
Get the message? And now, ladies and gentlemen, as you know tonight we announce the winner of our $10,000 cake recipe contest.
- Hey, this is it, Fred! - Get ready with the mop for the tears.
As you know, most programs wait till the end of the program to announce the winner just to keep you in suspense.
He ain't kidding.
So tonight, we are going to be just as sneaky.
And the winning recipe will be announced after the next commercial.
Oh, no.
I can't stand any more of this brainwashing.
And now, a message from our sponsor.
Good evening.
I have a little something to say.
This program is costing me a fortune, so give me a break.
Buy my product.
I've got a son going to college.
I'm taking a beating in the rock market.
So have a heart.
Buy! And now for the winning recipe.
We'd like to congratulate Mrs.
Wilma Flintstone and Mrs.
Betty Rubble.
We won! We also congratulate Mrs.
Rocky Graniteziano Mrs.
Coral Reef, Mrs.
Sandstone, and the other lucky winners.
What's with all those winners? Search me.
I thought only one recipe gets a prize.
All the ladies whose recipes have qualified them for the big bake-off will be flown to this city next week given luxurious accommodations at one of our finest hotels and two hours before we go on the air they will be led into individual kitchens being constructed backstage at this studio, to bake their cakes.
I get it.
And the best cake gets the $10,000.
We still can win.
That's right, honey.
You can do it, can't you? I mean, pinch and dash a cake even in a strange kitchen.
Betty and I will sure give it a try.
Attagirl.
We can't loose.
Well, partner, how about a little party to celebrate in advance? Right, partner.
I'll get the ice cream and the Gookie Cookies.
And I'll get the ketchup.
Ice cream and ketchup? I hope the girls are all packed and ready when we get home.
Their plane leaves in less than an hour.
With $10,000 going for us they'll be ready.
By the way, Barney, when I give you half the prize money what's the first thing you're gonna do with it? Count it.
What're you gonna do with your half, Fred? Something I always wanted to do.
- Travel.
- Yeah? Where to? The bowling alley, every day.
Wilma, let's go, honey.
The plane leaves in an hour.
That's funny, it's locked.
Maybe they're over at my house.
- We're in here, Fred.
- Both of us.
It sounds like they're crying.
What's wrong, Wilma? Open up.
We can't.
We've got the measles.
All right, stop playing games.
Your plane leaves in an hour and The measles? It can't be.
You were both all right this morning.
It broke out after you left to pick up the plane tickets.
First Wilma, then me.
We caught it from little Alonzo next door.
Alonzo? I'll sue him! This could cost us $10,000! That's right.
You can't bake with measles.
The cake may break out.
And another thing, Fred.
You'll have to stay with Barney at his house for a few days - till we get over this.
- Measles are very contagious.
This is awful! Don't worry, Fred.
Measles don't hurt.
They sure do, the worst kind of pain.
In the pocketbook.
You might as well return the plane tickets, Fred.
Betty and I will never make that contest in time.
Come on, Fred, cheer up.
Look at the bright side.
We'll be batching it for a few days.
We can go bowling every night stay up and see all the late shows on TV.
We'll have a ball waiting for the girls to get over the measles.
- Barney.
- Yeah, Fred? We ain't blowing the dough for a measly measle.
What do you mean, Fred? You know the girls can't leave the house.
No, but we can.
- So? - So, you and I are going to that bake-off contest.
Fred, you sick or something? That contest is for ladies.
How dare you, sir? Are you insinuating I ain't a lady? No, Fred, but - Now, wait a minute, pal.
- You get it, Barn.
With a couple of wigs and some of Betty's clothes we'll take our wives' place at the bake-off.
Fred, not me, no, not me.
And why not? It's for a good cause.
Namely $10,000.
- Where's your get up and go? - It just got up and went.
Besides, what would we tell the girls? We don't tell them nothing till we bring home the prize money.
They have to stay in the house for a week so they'll never even know we're gone.
It'll never work, Fred.
Count me out.
I can't.
Wish I could, but I can't.
It's got to be two of us.
And you're going, Mrs.
Rubble! And as the sponsor of the Tasty Pastry program I officially welcome you to the contest Mrs.
Flintstone and Mrs.
Rubble.
Thank you so much.
I hope you ladies find this room satisfactory.
Yes, it's charming.
Don't you think so, Betty? Ain't it just ducky, Betty? Ouch! I mean, ouch! My recipe partner's voice is a bit hoarse from the plane ride.
She does sound a bit peculiar, doesn't she? Perhaps you ladies should freshen up a bit before we go to the TV studio.
That's a good idea, sir.
We are a bit of a mess after the plane ride.
Boy, you can say that again.
I mean, yes.
I will see you later.
- Ta-ta.
- Bye-bye.
Oh, boy! That was close.
Watch it, will you, Barney.
Remember you're supposed to be Mrs.
Betty Rubble.
Okay, Fred, I'll remember.
But I still don't think we'll get away with impersonating our wives.
Stop worrying, Barney.
We fooled the sponsor, didn't we? But we ain't gonna fool anybody when we try to bake an Upside-down Flint-Rubble double bubble cake.
That's the easy part, Barney.
All we do is follow the recipe we sent in.
Now go thin your eyebrows out.
They look like a couple of birds' nests.
And before Mrs.
Flintstone wins $10,000, she'd better shave.
How're you doing, Barney? Brother! I don't know if this torture is worth it.
Keep your mind on the $10,000.
Who is it? Who is it? It's me, Mrs.
Flintstone.
May I come in? Just a minute, please.
- Quick, Barney, the wigs.
- The wigs, where are they? - Where'd you put them? - How do I know? - Over here.
Yeah, the chair.
- Over here? Hurry! You can come in now.
Thank you.
Oh, my gosh! What happened? Fred, the lather is still on your face.
You mean this.
It's a new kind of beauty cream.
We use it all the time.
Makes the skin as smooth as a peach.
See.
You must be using too much, dear.
You're starting to develop a fuzz.
Say, I could have sworn you were a blond, Mrs.
Flintstone and Mrs.
Rubble was a brunette.
We are I mean, were.
It's that bleach Wilma and me use.
Cheap stuff.
Keeps changing the color of our hair.
It's called Instant Anything.
Instant Anything? And would you believe it? Yesterday I was a plaid.
At this point, I'll believe anything.
Let's get down to the TV station, Mrs.
Plaid.
I mean, Mrs.
Peaches Mrs.
Flintstone.
Oh, boy! The people you meet in a baking contest.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
The Tasty Pastry bake-off contest is now under way.
The contestants are backstage in separate kitchens preparing their cakes.
And in a few moments the judges will announce the winner of the grand prize.
I wonder if Fred and Barney are watching the program at my house.
With us not in it, they have no interest.
My guess is that they're down at the bowling alley.
See how easy it is, Barney.
All we do is follow the instructions on Wilma's recipe.
I got to hand it to you, Fred.
The plan might work after all.
Let me see now.
Add flour while gently stirring.
Pass the flour, Barney.
Flour? - We're all out of flour.
- Don't just stand there.
There are three boxes on that table over there.
Grab one.
Okay, Fred.
One box of flour coming up.
They've been baking for hours now.
Isn't this exciting? Too bad our Upside-down Flint-Rubble double-bubble cake isn't entered.
We didn't stand a chance anyway.
Here comes the announcer.
Maybe they've got a winner.
And now the moment we've all been waiting for.
The judges have unanimously decided on the winning recipe.
And the grand prize of $10,000 goes to the team of Mrs.
Wilma Flintstone and Mrs.
Betty Rubble for their Upside-down Flint-Rubble double-bubble cake.
- That's us! - We won! What's the matter? How come we won? We didn't bake any cake.
And here they are, ladies and gentlemen.
The winners of the grand prize Mrs.
Fred Flintstone and Mrs.
Barney Rubble! - Fred? - Barney? And now, ladies would you tell 6 million people who are watching this program what brand of flour you used to bake this award-wining cake? Sure.
That's easy.
Show them, Mrs.
Rubble.
Okay, Mrs.
Flintstone.
It's right here.
This is the brand.
It's brand Ladies and gentlemen the judges have made a slight mistake.
The winner is a lady who always uses Tasty Pastry flour: Mrs.
Rocky Graniteziano! Try to understand, ladies.
We can't have rival flour be responsible for winning on the Tasty Pastry Show.
Think of my reputation.
Well, you won't get away with this.
We won fair and square.
We'll sue! We'll take this to the highest court! - Fred.
- It's a fraud, that's what it is.
- Lxnay, Fred.
- We know our rights! - Fred.
- What do you want, Barney? You just flipped your wig, Fred! Did you say "fraud," gentlemen? Now, wait, wait a minute! Let go! Hold it! This is no way to treat a lady.
Are you all right, Barney? I think so, Fred.
What'll we do now? Let's go home.
We better hurry, Wilma.
I hate to come in in the middle of a movie.
We're leaving now, boys.
When you get through there are more dishes to wash in Betty's house.
Come on, Wilma, have a heart.
We've been washing dishes every night for a week now.
Give us a break.
You wanted to be us, and now you're getting your chance.
Would you rather we told your bowling pals about your little trip to the big city Mrs.
Flintstone and Mrs.
Rubble? All right, you win.
The boys would never stop ribbing us.
That's right.
So goodbye now.
Wilma and I will have breakfast in bed again in the morning.
Bye, Barney dear.
Goodbye, boy Girls.
Goodbye.
How about letting me wash for a while and you wipe, Wilma? Okay.
Will you stop that Wilma stuff? You make me sick! Hey, that's it! If I was sick, I wouldn't have to do this stuff.
Fred, where are you going? Over to Alonzo's house.
Maybe it ain't too late to catch the measles.
Wait for me, partner.
Measles, here we come! Wilma! Come on, Wilma, open the door!
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