The Haunted Hathaways (2013) s01e25 Episode Script

You going down, baby panda.
I'm gonna mess you up, son.
[Bell rings, crowd cheers.]
[Whack.]
Oof! Knockout.
I'm a bad bear.
[Giggles.]
Hey, bro, notice anything new? Let's see Bow tie, smiling, annoying.
Nope.
I'm talking about my sweet new kicks.
It's like my toes are having a hip, happening party.
Not bad, but not as cool as mine.
Where'd you find those? On the web? Where'd you get yours, a stupid shoe store? [Groans.]
Don't speak to me.
I don't want to talk about it.
Okay.
Hey, check out my new So the three Chads are at the mall today promoting their new CD, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Our new CD.
All my friends are going, but I can't 'cause I have to write a report on some dumb Viking.
- [Gasps.]
- I know.
My life is so unfair.
That [Gasps.]
was for what you said about vikings.
They're not dumb.
They were intrepid explorers with the occasional act of unbridled savagery.
Great, do you think that's enough to turn in? Maybe if I double-space it.
[Scoffs.]
Ah, Leif Erikson, the noblest viking to sail the north Atlantic.
I actually met Leif in ghost world.
Cool guy.
Loves ice-blended mochas.
Never pays.
Wait, Miles, that's it.
You go get Leif and bring him back here.
He can yammer on about viking stuff and save me hours of reading.
I'll be at the mall in no time.
I weep for the future of America.
What? Look, you can't take academic shortcuts.
That would rob you of a valuable learning experience.
[Snickers.]
Good one, Miles.
Oh, you're serious.
Besides, I've gotta get ready for a big date.
[Laughs.]
Good one, Miles.
Oh, you're serious.
Are you done? Good, because I have some ghost ironing to do.
And yes! I'm serious.
So, a little birdie told me you're in a bit of a pickle.
I'd do anything to get that viking here.
Too bad there isn't a top-notch super ghost with boyish good looks who could make that viking appear for ya.
Yeah, but Ray would never do it.
Oh, she did not just dis me.
I demand respect! Respect, I say! [Duck quacks.]
[Spooky rock music.]
If you move into a haunted house You gotta try to work things out So if you're living with a ghost or three You gotta be one big, semi-scary family Don't know how we ended up this way But I guess you could call us The haunted Hathaways The haunted Hathaways The haunted Hathaways The haunted Hathaways Whatever this is, I don't have time to Sit.
When I suggested you get help from a top-notch ghost, I meant me.
So either I didn't give you enough clues, or you don't think I'm capable.
Whoa! I'm leaning towards number two.
It's an outrage.
Whenever someone in this house has a problem, they call on my dad or Miles.
Do you need help getting up? Should I call your dad or Miles? I'm fine.
Louie Preston is a ghost who can get the job done.
Now wait here, and I'll go to ghost world and be back with Um Uh don't tell me.
Leif.
Leif Erikson.
Ooh no, that's not it.
- Louie.
- All right, calm down.
I got this.
Off I go.
Happens sometimes.
I think this portal has a faulty [Screams.]
You're opening the customer comment box already? It's been a week since I put it out.
Why wouldn't I? Aah! Someone else do it.
No, I will.
I can't.
I must.
Aah! No.
That's why.
- I'm going in.
- [Sighs.]
What does it say? Do they like me? "Yummy pastries.
Nice decor.
" Love my customers.
They are so kind.
"But the owner seems slightly out of her gourd.
" Liars! "Slightly"? They are kind.
Give me the box.
Oh! "Crazy eyes"? Clearly, someone doesn't know what hard work looks like.
[Chuckles.]
Look how this guy spelled "nervous breakdown.
" Joke's on him, am I right? [Chuckles.]
And this is just a therapist's card.
- We'll hold onto that one.
- What? Where are you going? Not to call Dr.
Shelton.
That's for sure.
It's probably just some teenagers fooling around.
Exactly.
And, on a totally different subject, I have some great relaxation tapes you can borrow.
Or keep.
[Chuckles.]
It's the Dr.
Vickie series, find your inner butterfly.
You found your inner butterfly? More like my inner superfly.
[Chuckles.]
You know, 'cause that's me.
Hey, check out the flowers.
My date, Mirabelle, will be here any minute.
Oh, Miles, how sweet.
I can't remember the last time someone gave me flowers, or candy, or just a comment regarding a job well done! I am but a butterfly.
Fly, butterfly, fly.
So, tell me about this Mirabelle.
She's the ghost girl you met at my sunscreen awareness rally.
Oh, yeah, right! That was Fun.
Oh, wait.
Mirabelle.
I remember.
She was really cute.
That's my boy.
[Laughs.]
Holy wardrobe mishap! I'm not wearing my lavender bow tie! Yep.
That's my boy.
Emma, guess who's gonna finish her paper in time to join you guys at the mall to see the three Chads.
No.
No.
No, stop guessing.
It's me.
Taylor.
Louie, did you get him? [Scoffs.]
Of course I did.
Louie Preston always gets his ghost.
Presenting the most noble viking in history! [Roars.]
Mm.
[Belches.]
Uh, who is this? - Horace the horrible.
- I said Leif Erikson! I'm pretty sure you said Horace the horrible, and I don't make mistakes, so After-dinner mint.
[Growls.]
Fine, I'll just have to make this work.
Uh, Horace, if I could ask you a few questions [Growls.]
Wow.
So soap, I'm guessing, not available in viking times? Anyway, question one: What's the best part about being a viking? [Thunderous fart.]
I do not know how to spell that.
Ooh! Shiny object.
[Roars.]
[Metal clatters.]
Louie, you've got to get him out of here.
- I'll go find Ray.
- No! I'll fix this.
Horace, sweetheart.
[Chuckles.]
Walk with me, talk with me.
Horace claim this land to be new home.
Call it Horace-landia! Now, me plunder.
[Roars.]
Man, he's a little prickly.
Ya think? Yes! Another mouth-in-one.
Hello? Excuse me Golf voice, please.
I'm putting.
I'm here to see Miles.
Wow, there are a lot of flowers in here.
Ugh.
Yep, that's Miles.
What can you say? The kid's a little different.
Different? Uh, what do you mean? You know, he's a guy who actually likes sock puppets.
Very odd, am I right? Are you putting golf balls into a mannequin head? Well, someone's a little judgey.
We've gotten pretty used to Miles's quirks, though.
- Quirks? - Like setting an extra place at the dinner table for his friend, moppy, who, yes, is a mop.
And then, of course, there's his love of lavender.
Yeah, he clearly loves lavender.
I think I made a mistake.
Hey, Frankenberry.
What do you think of the flowers? I'm trying to impress a girl who's on her way over.
Oh Is she a quiet, curly-haired, shows-up-early kind of girl? [Chuckles.]
Yeah, how'd you know? Just a guess.
Her name's Mirabelle.
I want everything to be perfect for when she gets here.
They say a girl can make up her mind if she likes you or not in the first five minutes of a date.
Sometimes less.
You know what? This bow tie's too matchy-matchy.
Be right back.
Oh, hey, if she shows up [Chuckles.]
Talk up how cool I am.
[Clicks tongue.]
Always do.
- [Humming.]
- Ray, I need your help.
I think I messed up.
Broke a vase messed up or the cops'll be here any minute messed up? It's about Miles.
I may have accidentally chased his date away.
What'd you do? I was just telling her some stuff about Miles.
Next thing you know, she left.
Frankie! Miles is gonna be crushed.
Maybe he doesn't even like her that much.
Sha-deep doo-bop Feeling swell Sha-deep doo-bop Mirabelle! Okay, he does.
What do we do, Ray? Yah! [Ray's voice.]
Calm down.
It's me.
It just got very weird in here.
I met this girl at Miles's event.
[Mirabelle's voice.]
This is how she sounds and looks.
Oh.
Now it's completely normal.
Do do-bop Oh, Mirabelle! So glad you're here.
- 'Sup, Miles? - [Laughing.]
Yeah.
Ow.
Whoa.
You're strong.
What's strong is your choice of bow tie.
Oh.
Dial it down, Mirabelle.
We have to get that barbarian out of here before my mom sees him.
Would you relax? Have I let you down yet? Don't answer that.
- [Roars.]
- [Screams.]
You on Horace land! Welcome.
Tuesday bingo night.
Louie, please tell him to stop conquering rooms.
Let's go, buddy.
Back to ghost world.
[Growls.]
Nobody boss Horace.
Not cool, Horace.
Not cool.
Louie, what are we gonna do? If mom finds out, she'll ground me for life.
All we have to do is keep him away from her till I figure out how to kick his viking butt back to ghost world.
Horace smell tasty treats.
[Grunts.]
Time to get my pillage on! [Roars.]
What does "pillage" mean? To ruthlessly destroy.
What does "ruthlessly" mean? [Growling.]
Oh.
This is pillaging.
Oh, man, mom's gonna go berserk.
Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better.
Louie, do something.
One snap, and I'll have this place looking good as new.
Well, at least we're ready for Christmas Nine months early.
Hey, tay, do you have oh! Ow.
[Exhales gently.]
Did I get ya? Dr.
Vickie says the door of life swings both ways Although she failed to mention the part about it swinging into my head.
Yeah, sorry about that.
[Crash.]
Not my reindeer ornaments! - There's - Mom! Uh, show me how these meditations work.
Being a teen today is a lot of pressure and I could use some tips.
Oh, absolutely, sweetie.
First, we close our eyes and open our souls.
[Inhales.]
Ohmmm [Screaming.]
How relaxing is this? - Louie, get out of here! - [Screaming.]
Peace comes from within, a sun that never sets, bringing order and tranquility to our lives.
Oh, so true, Dr.
Vickie.
So true.
All around me is peace.
I float on a cloud of serenity.
Ohmmm And that's how you do a [Chuckles.]
Uh, Mirabelle, are you okay? You don't seem yourself today.
And what happened to all my flowers? They were a little much.
[Ray's voice.]
Definitely.
[Mirabelle's voice.]
Um ahem.
I mean, I liked them.
Oh, brother.
Hey, Miles, you know what'd be fun? If you showed Mirabelle your new suspenders.
Great idea! Why save those babies for flag day when I can break 'em out now? [Hums.]
Ray, you're a terrible girl.
I don't care.
This is better than Miles finding out he got stood up.
I know, but what do we do if he wants a second date? Hmm, there's a new Sci-Fi movie I really want to see.
We've really veered into a weird area here.
Wait! If we make it so Miles doesn't like her, he won't want to see Mirabelle again.
He never has his heart broken, and the only person I have to discuss this with is Dr.
Shelton.
Make Miles not like me? But I'm so adorable.
Just do it.
Gross him out.
It's the only way.
And get rid of your man head.
It's freaking me out.
What do you think? Suspenders that call for world unity.
Now, that's a cause that can support me.
[Belches.]
- [Coughs.]
- [Sniffs.]
Ah.
Did you just Pick my nose? Yeah-huh.
Miles, this one's quite a lady.
You know what I love? Please say hand sanitizer.
Littering and not complimenting people on their new haircuts.
[Gasps.]
But a cheery hair compliment can turn a person's day around.
This is great.
Now that you're my boyfriend, I can really relax and be myself.
[Sniffs.]
Boyfriend? I-I'm not really [Chuckles.]
Ready for anything serious, so Oh, I figured as much.
You're way too good for me.
Welp, I'll just be on my way.
Ooh, boy.
There's gotta be something in here to help us get rid of Horace.
Cushy bench make good firewood.
[Roars.]
It says, "Vikings were terrified of Thor, the God of thunder, who wielded a giant hammer.
" You ask.
Louie answers.
One thunder God coming up.
Wait.
And there it is.
Puny clown ghost, give Horace pinwheel.
Maybe you should've asked my dad or Miles for help.
I guess I'm not the top-notch ghost I thought I was.
Ooh, pretty.
[Roars.]
So, wait.
Miles, this is your dad? [Ray's voice.]
'Sup? I think Mirabelle and I deserve an explanation.
Like I'm the first father who's ever morphed into his son's date.
I think we're the ones who deserve an explanation for Mirabelle walking out on Miles.
I didn't walk out.
I went home to change because you said Miles loves lavender.
I wanted to make a good impression because, well, I like him.
You what? [Thud.]
- Miles? - I'm good.
All good.
I'm sorry, I thought it was my remarks about Miles' bizarre love of sock puppets that made you leave.
Excuse me? Sock puppets rock the hardest.
Uh-oh, here I go again.
[Thud.]
Do you want to go and write a song with me about the dangers of littering? Do I! I think those crazy kids are gonna make it.
I finally found a paragraph on Horace, but there's not much to go on.
Wasn't much of a bather.
Knew that.
Afraid of his mother, Annie the angry, and it says he's a skilled seamstress.
Horace make sail and matching vest.
Next month, go to Daytona.
Spring break! Those are mom's favorite drapes.
[Growls.]
Were mom's favorite drapes.
[Bell rings.]
Aah! - [Laughing nervously.]
- Oh, hey, kids.
I've been out walking around the neighborhood, giving out hugs to strangers, and it felt great! Until a policeman told me to stop.
- Mm.
- Land ho! - Who is that? - What? What? Oh.
[Clears throat, chuckles.]
That's Horace.
He's harmless.
[Grunts.]
Harmless? He is destroying my bakery! Breathe, Michelle.
You own your own anger.
Why is there a Christmas tree? I sort of asked Louie to help me with my history paper.
And, once again, I blew it.
I'm a crummy ghost.
Go ahead and freak out.
I am not gonna freak out.
This is the universe testing me.
Guide me, Dr.
Vickie.
Guide me.
Please ask your guest to leave.
Wow, I was expecting mom to have a meltdown.
Wait! Your book said the one person Horace feared was his mother, Annie the angry.
We don't have her, but maybe he'd listen to an angry Michelle.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, young man.
- Huh? - Don't slouch.
- Stand up straight.
- Horace confused.
Put those drapes down this instant.
You are a bad, bad caveman.
- Viking.
- Viking.
Look at this mess.
Horace no like yell-y woman.
Don't you sass me, or so help me, I will grab a spatula and put you over my knee this instant! You sound like mommy.
Go home, and think long and hard about what you did.
Out, now! Horace go bye-bye.
It worked.
He's gone.
Well, guess everything's back to normal, so Everything's back to normal? I just spent the last few minutes possessed by a ghost and yelling at a viking with mommy issues.
You two, clean this place up, and then you are grounded.
Sorry, Dr.
Vickie! Crazy eyes is back! Oh, that felt good.
[Sighs.]
Sorry I messed things up for you.
Actually, it's not so bad.
Because of you, I read my textbooks, and now I know more about vikings than I ever would have.
Thanks for the help, I-train.
You're welcome.
So what you're saying is, at the end of the day, I'm a pretty impressive ghost.
Now, let me take care of this mess.
After all, I am the man.
Wait.
[Snaps fingers.]
And there it is.
Unbelievable.
Ten in a row? What club are you using? Horace uses pillage club.
Perfect for short game.
Frankie, you up there? Yell-y woman scare Horace.
Horace leave.
Then hit three Chads concert.
[Laughs.]
[Rock music.]
Rock out, dude.