The O.C. (2003) s01e25 Episode Script
The Shower
Previously on The O.
C.
: - Julie Cooper, will you marry me? - Oh, my God.
Was I mean to you? That would've required you to speak to me.
Lot's changed in a year, huh? - Are we really gonna do this? - I think we already are.
- He really loves me, Ryan.
- You ran away to get away from him.
- Then you took off without calling? - Like when you left Chino.
- How'd it go with the liquor board? - Working on it.
As of today, I'm the only chance your father has.
You wouldn't want my mom to know you blackmailed me into living with her? You know what we haven't done in a while? - Two weeks.
- Sorry? Two weeks.
Unbelievable.
Who would believe it? I don't.
It's the Tourette's flaring up again.
Happens now and again, but it's fine.
Julie and Caleb's wedding invitation.
Getting married in - Two weeks.
- Wow, they're really doing it.
An unfortunate image just leapt in my mind.
I mean, I don't understand.
What is the rush? It's the gruesome twosome.
What do you expect? It's the shock-and-awe approach to courtship.
Julie Cooper's getting married to my father and you're being flip.
Me, being flip about Caleb? No.
I'm kind of softening on the guy.
He may not be friendly or ethical or, you know, a million laughs.
- But he is Generous.
Well, either that or he's in love and delusional because he threw out a ballpark figure for what he's offering Jimmy and me for the restaurant it ain't chump change.
- So he's bought your acceptance.
But at a very high price.
Hey, how's Marissa dealing with her new stepdad? Yeah, is she all right with all that? - She's in the wedding.
She agreed to that.
- And you two? You What, are you back to? Yeah, yeah, we're good, actually.
Really good.
Really good for you is like singing from the treetops.
Now that you and Marissa are good, does that mean you and Theresa are over? Yeah, yeah.
Me and Theresa, yeah.
Well, now that we've got your love life straightened out I think it might be time to take a step back and untangle this incestuous web I like to call the "Julie-Caleb union.
" Let's think about this.
When this bizarro knot gets tied, Julie Cooper's gonna be your mother-in-law.
Yeah, enjoy.
She's gonna be your stepmom.
Seth, my head is spinning.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Me and Marissa, we could be related.
I can't even do that math.
But the real kicker is: Julie Cooper, my grandma.
My grandma wears Uggs.
Think about it.
I am thinking about it.
- Hello.
- Hi.
It's Theresa, Ryan's friend.
Oh, hey there.
How are you? Let me get him for you.
Actually, I'm calling for you.
I was wondering if maybe we could meet.
- Are you all right? - I just have a legal question.
- Can we meet? - Sure, you name the spot.
I picked up some catering shifts at the Balboa Bakery.
I have a break at 1 if you want to stop by.
- And, Mr.
Cohen, one more thing.
- Yeah.
Please don't say anything to Ryan about any of this.
You got it.
I'll see you then.
- Hello.
- I need one minute.
You and me both.
You have no idea how hard it is to plan a spectacular wedding in only two weeks.
Mr.
Lasser, could you repeat that? I have a caterer who refuses to serve beef.
Something about a mad cow wiping out Newport Beach? - Julie, phone.
- Ironically, the minister I wanted is away on his honeymoon.
My wedding planner's a passive-aggressive nitwit who has the audacity to question my taste in music.
Bob Seger is not "so over.
" I'm going to have to call you back.
- How can I help? - Normally, I would never bother you.
But there is one small thing you can help me with: A shower.
- And by "help," I mean "host.
" - Julie, I can't host a shower.
I know it's last-minute, but I thought as my maid of honor, you'd want to.
Wait.
Your maid of honor? You're my closest friend.
Who else would it be? Well, I was thinking Marissa.
I'm not Marissa's favorite person right now.
Caleb's convinced he can get her to help, and he's made all the arrangements to have it at the club.
- In that case - You're a godsend! Thank you.
And one more thing: Let's not have one of those tacky, girly showers with games about making whoopee.
- Don't say "whoopee.
" I was thinking a couples shower, elegant.
A cocktail party with gifts.
What do you think? Any other questions, just ask Marissa.
Thanks.
A couples shower? - What is a couples shower? - Something I'm not throwing for my mom.
That was a message from Caleb saying that per our arrangement he wants me to help Kirsten throw a shower for my mom.
What about moving in with them? Have you told your dad yet? No, but I will.
- Today.
- Lf you don't want to throw this shower then don't.
Stand your ground.
- Standing my ground isn't my strong suit.
- That's true.
- Pac-Man.
Rematch? Hey, I almost, maybe, might beat you this time.
What is it with those two? The Pac-Man and the getting along and the happy times.
They're playing video games.
It's not a Mandy Moore movie.
She's supposed to be crying and he's supposed to be brooding.
- That's how it works.
- Hello? Hi.
Yeah, we're still on for tonight.
Fajitas? Yeah, okay.
I'm gonna make the margs.
Kidding.
God.
Oh, my God, I know.
Oh, my God.
No, you're so funny.
No, you are.
No, you.
Okay, I'll see you later.
Bye, Dad.
Dad? That's how you talk to your dad? - How's how I talk to my dad? - Like he's your friend.
- He is.
He's my best friend.
- Why have I never met him? I was wondering if you had parents.
I thought you were made in a lab or hatched in a pod.
We haven't done a family meet-and-greet.
I know we haven't which is odd, considering that you've met my dad you've met my mom, Captain Oats, the list goes on.
I've never introduced a boyfriend to my dad before.
It's kind of a big deal.
Well, you're forgetting one key factor here, Summer.
Parents love me, okay? I've got this non-threatening, non-sexual vibe they eat up.
We'll go miniature golfing or hot-tubbing or something fun.
Well, my stepmom's at Canyon Ranch.
- Drying out? - No, some stress-management program.
She has anxiety issues.
So? - We can go to lunch with my dad.
- Nice.
You sure you want to skip the hot tub? Okay, lunch is good.
We'll do lunch.
But your dad's not going to need a menu because he's gonna be eating out of the palm of my hand.
The palm of my hand, Summer.
Hey.
Oh, my God.
- Who did that to you? - Sorry to call you out of the blue like this.
- Was it Eddie? - He's been under a lot of stress.
He lost his job and his apartment.
The other night, he had a couple drinks, and he just went off.
- So you're leaving him, I hope.
It's complicated.
I know, it should be simple.
Your boyfriend hits you, you leave him, right? It's never simple.
How can I help you? I just need to know, you know if he does this again, what would happen to him if I pressed charges? It depends, anything from a restraining order to jail time.
You're not still thinking about marrying the guy? Not if you gotta ask these kinds of questions.
So, you, me, my dad, lunch tomorrow at the club.
Awesome.
By the end of this lunch, I predict your father and I smoking Cuban cigars.
Know what I'm saying? Trading Viagra yuks.
Maybe I'll put on a little Dean Martin.
I don't know.
- You know he's not 75, right? - I do know that but male bonding's a very old-school activity.
We may not make it through lunch.
We may skip straight over to the Russian baths.
- Okay, tomorrow just sit under a light.
- What? Sit under a light.
He wants to see you better.
Order steak.
He thinks greens are effeminate.
Celery's gay, got it.
What else you got? I want to prep make sure I lock into some witty anecdotes, my A material.
- He's a plastic surgeon.
- I know what he does for a living and we can have fun with that, but let's talk about hobbies.
What do you guys talk about? Mostly we talk about me.
- You? - Yeah, it's like our common interest.
- You wanted to meet him.
- I do.
I do.
I just was kind of hoping for some You know what I mean? Look my dad really loves me.
And I really like you.
So he's gonna really like you.
- Right? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We should go to the bedroom.
Yeah.
Oh, but Marissa, she's gonna be home soon.
- Right, right, right.
We should - Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about all this sneaking around.
It's so incredibly high-school.
Dad.
Hailey? Hey, kiddo.
Hi.
Hailey was just over to help me fix my - Faucet.
- My faucet, which is Remember it was leaking? And, you know, she's an expert on plumbing.
- I should go.
- Okay.
Now that the faucet is, you know, fixed.
Okay.
Listen, thank you so much.
You know, if anything else breaks then I'll give you a call.
But thank you.
- Bye.
- See you.
Wow.
You guys really need to work on your improv skills.
Look, I wanted to talk to you about it.
I did, but l With your mom and Caleb, the last thing you needed to deal with was this.
Dad, I'm fine with it.
You know what? Better than that, I'm happy for you.
What's the matter? It's just with Mom and Caleb getting married and they're moving into this new house I know a lot is changing, kiddo, but it's not all bad.
- You know Caleb is buying the restaurant? - I know.
Yeah.
And, you know, we're gonna be okay.
I mean, like, seriously okay.
We're talking millions of dollars.
We're gonna get out of this place, move into a real home and start over.
Isn't that great? Yeah.
Yeah, it's great.
- Seth's meeting your dad? - Yeah, so? Well, that's gonna go well.
Well, actually, Marissa, it will go well.
Do you know why? Turns out I'm great with the parents.
- I'm better with parents than daughters.
- I believe that.
I think we know I'm pretty good with the daughters.
Know what I mean? This little one right here.
Her daddy's gonna feel it.
- Yeah.
- I can't believe Eddie would hit her.
I know.
And Theresa has made it clear she does not want to press charges.
So unless she changes her mind, there's only so much I can do.
At least you gave her someone to talk to somewhere to go.
It's a start.
Yeah, until she decides to go back to Chino and marry the guy anyway.
What about Ryan? He must be beside himself.
You wouldn't know it from looking at him.
- He doesn't know.
- What? Theresa had me promise that I wouldn't tell him.
She knows he'd fly off the handle.
He'd go back to Chino and beat the daylights out of Eddie.
He breaks his probation and he ends up back in juvie.
Ryan, need something? More soda? I got it.
What's going on? Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Okay.
Come on, just pick one.
Marissa's gonna be here soon.
Don't rush me.
I've got a lot riding on this.
You said you were great with parents.
Yeah, I've got so much experience being introduced to my girlfriend's parents.
Damn it, I'm being sarcastic.
So? Sarcasm's like breathing for you.
Her dad thinks it's a sign of weakness.
- Sounds like a smart man.
- I have to fool him.
Do you understand? I have to spin an elaborate web of lies smoke and mirrors, for an entire meal.
Only then can I earn his trust.
- I hope you're not like this during lunch.
- This one? Too edgy? - Too fashion-forward? - It's a white shirt.
That's a good point.
White shirts make my teeth look yellow.
That's Marissa.
I've gotta go find her before she runs into her mom.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Your mom's in there with Kirsten.
- Maybe I'll come back later.
- No, you told Kirsten you'd stop by, right? I don't want to deal with my mom now.
All I want is to get back at her and here I am throwing her a party.
- It'll be fine.
Just take the high road.
- You can't lose.
- This looks great fruited Israeli couscous.
- Oh, honey, hi.
- Hey.
Thanks for coming.
So you stopped by to help us, huh? Actually, Kirsten called me, so I stopped by to help Kirsten.
Well, then I'll let you get to it.
- Kirsten.
Ryan.
- Julie.
- You okay? - Fine.
So, what can I do to help? Double check the guest list with the invitations.
I have everyone from The Newport Group, all the ladies from spin class.
- But there's no one from Julie's family.
- My mom and her parents don't speak.
What about her sisters? Well, there's always Aunt Cindy.
The caterers.
Great.
Aunt Cindy, you'll get in touch with her? Yeah.
See? Take the high road.
You've never met Aunt Cindy.
Well.
- It's It's - It's more than twice what we put into it.
Caught me at a good time.
A man in love has no right doing business.
- Besides, we're family.
- Right.
Are we? I don't know.
- I can't keep track.
- Now, if you'll excuse me my fianc Áe wants help picking out linens for the reception.
I had no idea there were so many shades of beige.
All right, we'll see you.
He's up to something.
Either that or he's on some serious painkillers.
But you know what? I don't care.
Two and a half million dollars? I can finally breathe again.
I'm happy for you.
- But? - Well I wish it could have been the place that did it, not Caleb.
I thought we'd be rescued by meat loaf and dirty martinis.
That's how it was supposed to be.
Think about it.
All that meat loaf you'd be making? It's off your hands.
Now you've got time for work.
That's what I was trying to get away from.
No, no.
I mean real work.
The stuff that you love.
Like rescuing kids and down-and-out guys who are millions of dollars in debt.
Come on, right now there's a stray out there just waiting for you to swoop down and save the day.
Remember, we are off-our-asses wasted and totally lost in the woods and I gotta go like nobody's business, so I end up dropping trou right there.
Sure enough, poison oak everywhere.
Julie tells the whole school.
What a bitch, right? - Charming story.
- Yeah, good times.
Mind if I smoke? - Actually, l - Sorry.
I tried to quit once, but I ended up putting on 30 pounds.
And who wants to have sex with that, right? Aunt Cindy.
Look at you! - Hey.
- Hey.
- So this is my boyfriend, Ryan.
- Hi.
Cindy's been telling me some priceless stories about your mom.
Yeah, I was telling her about Julie's Def Leppard phase.
- She drove us to Anaheim to scalp tickets.
- I can't believe she was into heavy metal.
- I can't believe she ever went to Anaheim.
- So where is the belle of the ball anyway? Doing yoga? Getting Botox? You and Julie, do you talk often? Sure, if you call once every seven years often.
Look, I'll hand it to you straight.
I was shocked she wanted me here.
- You were? - Yeah.
Last time I saw her, and memory's a little foggy on account of the Jell-O shots I'm pretty sure she told me to get lost, for good.
Marissa, can I talk to you in? Oh, hi.
I'm so sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but - What the hell are you doing here? - Well, it's nice to see you too.
I'm here because I was invited by Marissa.
- Marissa, is this true? - You guys have tons to catch up on so I'll give you some alone time.
- We should probably get that cake too.
Right.
Have fun.
And I decided that I wanted to celebrate both holidays, so what I did is, basically, I combined them, and I made Chrismukkah.
Like Christmas and Hanukkah.
- Chrismukkah.
- Chrismukkah.
Chrismukkah.
Well, that must be a lot of fun for you.
Yeah, we have fun with it.
But I don't want you to think I'm all about holiday cheer, I'm hoarding all of them or anything.
I have interests.
I have hobbies.
- Do you? - Sure, I do, sir.
- Comic books, for one.
- Comic books.
Sir, I think I hear the skepticism in your tone.
And I understand, but I just want to tell you I believe the comic book is a legitimate art form.
Frank Miller's Sin City Powers by Brian Bendis arguably one of the best writers in comics today.
I mean, combines sort of the storytelling panache of, like, a Stan Lee that old-school vibe, but mixed with a lyrical you know, sophistication of I want to say Alan Moore.
It's probably too inside for you.
You're probably a fan of the classics.
Superman? Batman fan? No? Iceman? He freezes things.
- So, Summer - Isn't Summer the best? Little force of nature, just sitting there.
Little live wire.
- Yes, she is.
- I think she's so full of vim and vigor.
What, in your surgical opinion, does she have more of? Would you say it's vim or vigor? - Cohen, what are you talking about? - Summer.
Summer I'm just saying that I think you've been extraordinarily blessed with vim.
- And vigor too, sir.
- What do you say we order? Okay.
I like food.
Yes.
So we just say that we're very happy together.
- We hope that they can be happy for us.
- Yeah.
- You know? - Easy.
Hailey? The door? What if it isn't the right time because my dad's getting married to Julie.
And Kirsten's planning the shower You know what? We should wait until the timing's right.
Know what I'm saying? The timing's wrong.
- Yeah.
- Right.
Okay, good.
- Okay, great.
- Excellent.
This is a good idea too.
- I'm so sorry.
- I feel so Did you see the look on my mom's face? - So much for the high road.
- Yeah, this is way more fun.
Hi, we're here to pick up a cake for Cooper.
- Let me check on that.
- Thanks.
Oh, my God, this is amazing.
You've got to try this.
- You need another piece.
- Stop! Theresa, what happened? - Eddie? - I didn't want you involved.
You weren't supposed to know I was here.
I guess Sandy told you anyway.
Sandy Sandy knows about this? Hey, where have you been? I couldn't sleep.
I thought watching the sun come up and getting my ass kicked by some 4-footers would help.
It didn't.
Here's that vanilla half-caf caramel macchiato on the dry side you love.
It's so good.
It's only 1500 calories per sip.
- Hey, what time is that shower today? - Why? - I might be late, depending on traffic.
- We live 10 minutes from the club.
- I'll be coming from Chino.
- What? I want to pay Eddie a visit, knock some sense into him.
Metaphorically, of course.
At the very least, give him a good scare.
- I'm taking back the coffee.
- People here need to hear from you.
- Ryan is really upset.
- What can I do? - He won't talk to me.
- Explain it to him instead of trying to match him glare for glare.
What about Theresa? The victim, alone, in the motel room.
She'd love to hear from you.
Why don't you call her and invite her over.
- You can keep the coffee.
- Thank you.
I know you're pissed off.
I would have explained things to you but I couldn't until Theresa gave me the okay.
You guys decided to include me.
Thanks.
I'm a lawyer.
She asked for privacy, she's entitled.
She's getting beat up, and you keep it from me? What if I had told you? What are you gonna do? I don't know, help her.
How? Go to Chino? See Eddie? Land in the hospital or jail or worse? Theresa was protecting you.
- You should have told me.
- Well, I didn't.
Because I knew you'd get riled up and do something stupid.
Now that you do know I sure hope you don't prove me right.
- What about Theresa? - She's on her way here.
If she's around people that care about her she's less likely to go back to him.
- I gotta get ready for the shower.
- Do we understand each other? Hey, is your father around? I didn't even see him.
- Then I guess not.
- That's cool.
I figured he'd maybe want to say hey.
Do you know where he is? No, didn't say.
Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you.
- Did he say anything about the lunch? - Not really.
No, I didn't think he would.
I mean, it got a little awkward there in the comic-book part.
I think it turned a good corner at, like, the bread basket.
- Bread basket? Yeah.
Yeah, he asked me, you know, to pass the bread.
I said, "You'll wanna go bread stick as opposed to dinner roll.
" He went bread stick.
Shows he trusts me.
Didn't clock that.
So I didn't even get a review at all, huh? Not that I read my own press, but, I mean nothing involving thumbs or stars or - We should go.
You should have told me.
Right.
Because you would have taken the news so well.
You would have tried to kill him.
He deserves it.
Yeah, well, this is my problem.
Not yours.
I'm the one that has to figure this thing out.
What is there to figure out? You're not gonna stay with him? Right? I'll take some self-defense classes.
And Eddie and I will live happily ever after.
- How can you joke? - Because I'm tired of crying.
Okay? - I haven't seen you like this in a while.
- What? Flustered? Upset? Heading to a Newport party against my will? Passionate.
Driven.
This is the man I married.
Oh, yeah? So are you ready to face the happy couple? - The gruesome twosome? - Yeah.
- Hey.
- Hi.
So, Theresa, I hope you've decided to join us for the shower.
Thanks, but I'm not really looking my best.
I have some concealer upstairs works like a magic wand.
She's right.
You should see her without the stuff on.
Terrifying.
Hey, are you guys ready to go to the shower? - Hey, Theresa.
- Theresa's in town for a while.
Just till I get things straightened out.
Of course.
Well, then you should come to the shower.
Thanks.
- Julie, congratulations.
- Thank you.
- And, Kirsten, what a lovely party.
- Thank you.
Is it too early to start drinking? I hope not, or I'm in trouble.
Thank you.
After all your mom's been through, she deserves a man like Caleb Nichol.
You two will never have to worry about money ever again.
Will you excuse me? Which way is the ladies' room? Look at her flirting with her sister's boyfriend like she's in seventh grade again.
For once, I actually know what you mean.
Wonder which of my past humiliations she's telling him about now.
Oh, my God.
Did she just say "monster truck"? You were into monster trucks? I better get over there or there might not even be a wedding.
Hey, Juju, your ears must be burning.
I was telling Cal here about you and me and Knott's Berry Farm.
Cindy, thank you for entertaining Cal here but you should go.
Try the pastries.
Maybe it'll soak up some of that whiskey.
Does anybody want anything? - Tequila shooter? - Cindy, go.
I'm sorry about Cindy.
She's got oomph.
Spark.
Just like her sister.
Oh, and Julie looks fabulous.
Must be all those Yogalates classes.
Oh, you know, I've always wanted to try Yogalates.
- Really? - Me too.
Maybe we should Maybe we'll take a class together, you and I.
Needed a break? Hey.
Yeah.
I was just feeling a little lost out there.
You probably really need Ryan right now.
- Me being here, I'm getting in the way.
- Hey, it's not your fault.
Look, part of the reason I didn't want to tell Ryan about Eddie is because he seems really happy right now.
And that's because of you.
Look, Cal, a juicer.
- I need one of these.
- How about a game? Okay, folks! Has anyone here ever played "How Well Do You Know Them?" Cindy, everyone here already knows us.
That won't be much fun.
All right, I'm gonna be Chuck Woolery.
I'm gonna ask a question and whoever shouts out the most right answers, wins.
First question: What is Julie's favorite meal? Oh, I know this.
Chilean sea bass with roasted baby carrots.
No.
No, the answer is: Double-Double Cheeseburger, heavy on the sauce large fries and an orange soda.
Okay, next question.
Hi.
I've been looking for you.
For both of you.
- Everything's okay? - Yeah, it's just, at a shower.
Not really what I do.
- Is that him? - Yeah, he's just calling to apologize again.
- I'm not going to get it.
- You been talking to him? - Leave her alone.
- What are you doing? - What are you doing talking to him? - Stay out of this.
Stay out of it? You came here.
You knew I was gonna find out.
What did you think I was gonna do? He hit you.
You can't go back to him.
It's not that simple.
You know him.
He's not a bad person.
He made a mistake.
- You don't really believe that.
- Yes, I do.
- I know that.
- You're an expert on the subject? What are you gonna tell me? This isn't the first time? Has he done it before? Tell me, Theresa.
Has he hit you before? Ryan.
Growing up, who was Julie's first love? Rick Springfield? Close.
The entire defensive line of our eighth-grade football team.
I refuse to sit here and be humiliated.
Oh, crap.
Hey, you're carrying a purse now? Not that you shouldn't accessorize.
You stealing Marissa's car? If I don't do something, Theresa's gonna marry that guy.
- You can't go.
- Yeah, why not? It's a horrible idea, and my dad said not to.
She's taking his calls.
She's gonna go back to him.
It's gonna happen again.
- Dude, don't.
- I don't have a choice.
- Hey, man, you do.
- Let go of me.
Now.
- Is Ryan leaving? - Yeah.
Oh, he took your car.
Put down the window.
- Get out of the car.
- He's done it before.
- Well, that's the pattern.
- He'll do it again.
Don't try to fix this thing, kid.
I'm your guardian and I call the shots.
- Get out of the car.
- Somebody has to stop him.
Theresa has to decide on her own to leave Eddie.
We can't force her.
I know about these things.
Theresa, Eddie, Chino.
- You don't get it.
- Oh, yes, I do.
I've seen too many kids just like him, and I know it will not be you to suddenly make him change.
- So you want me to do nothing? - Yes.
I can't do that.
Thank you very much.
That was quite a scene out there, huh? I'll always love Cindy.
So do you wanna talk about this? I know it's weird.
Even though it was years ago you and I dated, she's still your sister.
It's not jealousy.
I just don't want to see my friend make a terrible mistake.
- What makes you think it's a mistake? - Jimmy, this is what Hailey does.
She uses people to get back at me.
Kirsten this isn't about you.
Hailey and I, you know, it feels real.
Okay.
It's just that you're starting to do well and I don't want to see you - Happy? Because that's what I am.
It's the first time since Julie left me I don't feel completely alone.
So just be happy for me, okay? Okay.
What do you want, Cindy? Money? - I don't want your money.
- The hell you don't.
Why else would you come down here and humiliate me in front of my friends? Those people aren't your friends.
They don't even know you.
- And you do? - I used to.
Back when you had big hair and you wore tight jeans.
We were supposed to leave Riverside together, remember? We were gonna move to L.
A.
And marry rock stars.
Then you took off.
And you moved to the beach without me.
I couldn't exactly take you with me.
I know.
I just I miss you sometimes, that's all.
I'm sorry about what happened out there.
Guess I won't be invited to the wedding, huh? Of course you'll be invited to the wedding.
We wouldn't have it any other way.
Thanks.
I'll be outside.
Well, I'm sure you found Cindy's visit very revealing.
Julie, there is nothing I could find out about you that would make me walk away.
Hey, you're avoiding me.
That's cool.
I kind of like it.
It's kind of a throwback.
It feels very eighth-grade.
So I'm guessing that this has something to do with me bombing with your father.
- It was a train wreck.
- I was nervous.
- You didn't stop talking.
I know.
I get chatty when I'm completely terrified.
Look, next time I'll be I'll be the strong silent type.
Or I'll just be silent, okay? Look, my dad and I are best friends.
We've been through everything together.
And he's never been wrong.
I mean, he's my dad.
- And he hated me? - You just weren't what he expected.
Yeah? What was he expecting? Someone taller? - Blonder? Presbyterian? What? - Just different.
My dad's really protective of me.
Look, I'm sorry if your dad doesn't think I'm good enough for you.
Really, I am.
If that's the way he feels, that sucks.
But you know what? It doesn't matter.
I don't really have to be his type, because the only thing that matters is me and you.
Right? I have to go.
I thought you'd be in Chino by now.
I got as far as Corona.
And? And I realized Eddie wasn't who I needed to talk to.
- What are you doing going back to him? - It won't happen again.
He promised.
- Like he promised the last time, right? - What am I supposed to do? - My whole life is in Chino.
- So was mine.
Right, so I wait for some rich, perfect family to adopt me and stick me in their beautiful pool house? Great idea.
- You can stay with the Cohens too.
- No, I can't.
- Why not? - Because I move in there and then what happens? I don't know.
I don't know.
I know what happens if you go back to Eddie.
So do you.
I am never throwing another party again.
Oh, honey, don't tease.
Nothing good happens at our parties.
Have you noticed that? Yeah, the gruesome twosome never tighter.
- Jimmy and Hailey, officially a couple.
And Ryan's probably heading back to juvie right about now.
And if he is I know just the guy to get him out.
- Hi.
- Hey, you all right? How's Eddie? I decided to take my lawyer's advice and went to see Theresa instead.
Hi, Mr.
Cohen.
Mrs.
Cohen.
- You can stay as long as you want.
- Thank you.
You can sleep in the pool house.
Ryan, you can bunk in with Seth, on the air mattress.
Come on.
Why don't we get you settled in.
Thanks for doing this.
Kirsten and I would do anything for you.
Yeah, me too.
Well, I'm glad to hear it because we lost the pump.
So somebody's gonna have to blow that sucker up.
- Hey, Marissa.
- Hey, Kirsten.
Is Ryan home? Yeah, he's in the pool house.
He's helping Theresa get settled in.
So she's staying? Yeah.
He loves you, you know.
- I know.
- Then make room for her to be in his life.
He's not going anywhere.
Sorry I bailed on the shower.
Don't you think this apology should be directed elsewhere like, say, Marissa? I guess so.
I didn't want to, I had to Again, should be directed somewhere else.
If it makes you feel any better, things between me and Summer suck.
- Because of her dad? - Of all the love triangles to sink us it is the least sexy.
Go talk to your girlfriend.
One of us should be able to.
Right.
Hi.
Today I said I was gonna be there, and I wasn't.
It's okay.
And I know you got a lot to deal with coming up.
But we're gonna get through it together.
You and me, we're gonna be fine.
I What? I think we are gonna be fine.
C.
: - Julie Cooper, will you marry me? - Oh, my God.
Was I mean to you? That would've required you to speak to me.
Lot's changed in a year, huh? - Are we really gonna do this? - I think we already are.
- He really loves me, Ryan.
- You ran away to get away from him.
- Then you took off without calling? - Like when you left Chino.
- How'd it go with the liquor board? - Working on it.
As of today, I'm the only chance your father has.
You wouldn't want my mom to know you blackmailed me into living with her? You know what we haven't done in a while? - Two weeks.
- Sorry? Two weeks.
Unbelievable.
Who would believe it? I don't.
It's the Tourette's flaring up again.
Happens now and again, but it's fine.
Julie and Caleb's wedding invitation.
Getting married in - Two weeks.
- Wow, they're really doing it.
An unfortunate image just leapt in my mind.
I mean, I don't understand.
What is the rush? It's the gruesome twosome.
What do you expect? It's the shock-and-awe approach to courtship.
Julie Cooper's getting married to my father and you're being flip.
Me, being flip about Caleb? No.
I'm kind of softening on the guy.
He may not be friendly or ethical or, you know, a million laughs.
- But he is Generous.
Well, either that or he's in love and delusional because he threw out a ballpark figure for what he's offering Jimmy and me for the restaurant it ain't chump change.
- So he's bought your acceptance.
But at a very high price.
Hey, how's Marissa dealing with her new stepdad? Yeah, is she all right with all that? - She's in the wedding.
She agreed to that.
- And you two? You What, are you back to? Yeah, yeah, we're good, actually.
Really good.
Really good for you is like singing from the treetops.
Now that you and Marissa are good, does that mean you and Theresa are over? Yeah, yeah.
Me and Theresa, yeah.
Well, now that we've got your love life straightened out I think it might be time to take a step back and untangle this incestuous web I like to call the "Julie-Caleb union.
" Let's think about this.
When this bizarro knot gets tied, Julie Cooper's gonna be your mother-in-law.
Yeah, enjoy.
She's gonna be your stepmom.
Seth, my head is spinning.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Me and Marissa, we could be related.
I can't even do that math.
But the real kicker is: Julie Cooper, my grandma.
My grandma wears Uggs.
Think about it.
I am thinking about it.
- Hello.
- Hi.
It's Theresa, Ryan's friend.
Oh, hey there.
How are you? Let me get him for you.
Actually, I'm calling for you.
I was wondering if maybe we could meet.
- Are you all right? - I just have a legal question.
- Can we meet? - Sure, you name the spot.
I picked up some catering shifts at the Balboa Bakery.
I have a break at 1 if you want to stop by.
- And, Mr.
Cohen, one more thing.
- Yeah.
Please don't say anything to Ryan about any of this.
You got it.
I'll see you then.
- Hello.
- I need one minute.
You and me both.
You have no idea how hard it is to plan a spectacular wedding in only two weeks.
Mr.
Lasser, could you repeat that? I have a caterer who refuses to serve beef.
Something about a mad cow wiping out Newport Beach? - Julie, phone.
- Ironically, the minister I wanted is away on his honeymoon.
My wedding planner's a passive-aggressive nitwit who has the audacity to question my taste in music.
Bob Seger is not "so over.
" I'm going to have to call you back.
- How can I help? - Normally, I would never bother you.
But there is one small thing you can help me with: A shower.
- And by "help," I mean "host.
" - Julie, I can't host a shower.
I know it's last-minute, but I thought as my maid of honor, you'd want to.
Wait.
Your maid of honor? You're my closest friend.
Who else would it be? Well, I was thinking Marissa.
I'm not Marissa's favorite person right now.
Caleb's convinced he can get her to help, and he's made all the arrangements to have it at the club.
- In that case - You're a godsend! Thank you.
And one more thing: Let's not have one of those tacky, girly showers with games about making whoopee.
- Don't say "whoopee.
" I was thinking a couples shower, elegant.
A cocktail party with gifts.
What do you think? Any other questions, just ask Marissa.
Thanks.
A couples shower? - What is a couples shower? - Something I'm not throwing for my mom.
That was a message from Caleb saying that per our arrangement he wants me to help Kirsten throw a shower for my mom.
What about moving in with them? Have you told your dad yet? No, but I will.
- Today.
- Lf you don't want to throw this shower then don't.
Stand your ground.
- Standing my ground isn't my strong suit.
- That's true.
- Pac-Man.
Rematch? Hey, I almost, maybe, might beat you this time.
What is it with those two? The Pac-Man and the getting along and the happy times.
They're playing video games.
It's not a Mandy Moore movie.
She's supposed to be crying and he's supposed to be brooding.
- That's how it works.
- Hello? Hi.
Yeah, we're still on for tonight.
Fajitas? Yeah, okay.
I'm gonna make the margs.
Kidding.
God.
Oh, my God, I know.
Oh, my God.
No, you're so funny.
No, you are.
No, you.
Okay, I'll see you later.
Bye, Dad.
Dad? That's how you talk to your dad? - How's how I talk to my dad? - Like he's your friend.
- He is.
He's my best friend.
- Why have I never met him? I was wondering if you had parents.
I thought you were made in a lab or hatched in a pod.
We haven't done a family meet-and-greet.
I know we haven't which is odd, considering that you've met my dad you've met my mom, Captain Oats, the list goes on.
I've never introduced a boyfriend to my dad before.
It's kind of a big deal.
Well, you're forgetting one key factor here, Summer.
Parents love me, okay? I've got this non-threatening, non-sexual vibe they eat up.
We'll go miniature golfing or hot-tubbing or something fun.
Well, my stepmom's at Canyon Ranch.
- Drying out? - No, some stress-management program.
She has anxiety issues.
So? - We can go to lunch with my dad.
- Nice.
You sure you want to skip the hot tub? Okay, lunch is good.
We'll do lunch.
But your dad's not going to need a menu because he's gonna be eating out of the palm of my hand.
The palm of my hand, Summer.
Hey.
Oh, my God.
- Who did that to you? - Sorry to call you out of the blue like this.
- Was it Eddie? - He's been under a lot of stress.
He lost his job and his apartment.
The other night, he had a couple drinks, and he just went off.
- So you're leaving him, I hope.
It's complicated.
I know, it should be simple.
Your boyfriend hits you, you leave him, right? It's never simple.
How can I help you? I just need to know, you know if he does this again, what would happen to him if I pressed charges? It depends, anything from a restraining order to jail time.
You're not still thinking about marrying the guy? Not if you gotta ask these kinds of questions.
So, you, me, my dad, lunch tomorrow at the club.
Awesome.
By the end of this lunch, I predict your father and I smoking Cuban cigars.
Know what I'm saying? Trading Viagra yuks.
Maybe I'll put on a little Dean Martin.
I don't know.
- You know he's not 75, right? - I do know that but male bonding's a very old-school activity.
We may not make it through lunch.
We may skip straight over to the Russian baths.
- Okay, tomorrow just sit under a light.
- What? Sit under a light.
He wants to see you better.
Order steak.
He thinks greens are effeminate.
Celery's gay, got it.
What else you got? I want to prep make sure I lock into some witty anecdotes, my A material.
- He's a plastic surgeon.
- I know what he does for a living and we can have fun with that, but let's talk about hobbies.
What do you guys talk about? Mostly we talk about me.
- You? - Yeah, it's like our common interest.
- You wanted to meet him.
- I do.
I do.
I just was kind of hoping for some You know what I mean? Look my dad really loves me.
And I really like you.
So he's gonna really like you.
- Right? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We should go to the bedroom.
Yeah.
Oh, but Marissa, she's gonna be home soon.
- Right, right, right.
We should - Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about all this sneaking around.
It's so incredibly high-school.
Dad.
Hailey? Hey, kiddo.
Hi.
Hailey was just over to help me fix my - Faucet.
- My faucet, which is Remember it was leaking? And, you know, she's an expert on plumbing.
- I should go.
- Okay.
Now that the faucet is, you know, fixed.
Okay.
Listen, thank you so much.
You know, if anything else breaks then I'll give you a call.
But thank you.
- Bye.
- See you.
Wow.
You guys really need to work on your improv skills.
Look, I wanted to talk to you about it.
I did, but l With your mom and Caleb, the last thing you needed to deal with was this.
Dad, I'm fine with it.
You know what? Better than that, I'm happy for you.
What's the matter? It's just with Mom and Caleb getting married and they're moving into this new house I know a lot is changing, kiddo, but it's not all bad.
- You know Caleb is buying the restaurant? - I know.
Yeah.
And, you know, we're gonna be okay.
I mean, like, seriously okay.
We're talking millions of dollars.
We're gonna get out of this place, move into a real home and start over.
Isn't that great? Yeah.
Yeah, it's great.
- Seth's meeting your dad? - Yeah, so? Well, that's gonna go well.
Well, actually, Marissa, it will go well.
Do you know why? Turns out I'm great with the parents.
- I'm better with parents than daughters.
- I believe that.
I think we know I'm pretty good with the daughters.
Know what I mean? This little one right here.
Her daddy's gonna feel it.
- Yeah.
- I can't believe Eddie would hit her.
I know.
And Theresa has made it clear she does not want to press charges.
So unless she changes her mind, there's only so much I can do.
At least you gave her someone to talk to somewhere to go.
It's a start.
Yeah, until she decides to go back to Chino and marry the guy anyway.
What about Ryan? He must be beside himself.
You wouldn't know it from looking at him.
- He doesn't know.
- What? Theresa had me promise that I wouldn't tell him.
She knows he'd fly off the handle.
He'd go back to Chino and beat the daylights out of Eddie.
He breaks his probation and he ends up back in juvie.
Ryan, need something? More soda? I got it.
What's going on? Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Okay.
Come on, just pick one.
Marissa's gonna be here soon.
Don't rush me.
I've got a lot riding on this.
You said you were great with parents.
Yeah, I've got so much experience being introduced to my girlfriend's parents.
Damn it, I'm being sarcastic.
So? Sarcasm's like breathing for you.
Her dad thinks it's a sign of weakness.
- Sounds like a smart man.
- I have to fool him.
Do you understand? I have to spin an elaborate web of lies smoke and mirrors, for an entire meal.
Only then can I earn his trust.
- I hope you're not like this during lunch.
- This one? Too edgy? - Too fashion-forward? - It's a white shirt.
That's a good point.
White shirts make my teeth look yellow.
That's Marissa.
I've gotta go find her before she runs into her mom.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Your mom's in there with Kirsten.
- Maybe I'll come back later.
- No, you told Kirsten you'd stop by, right? I don't want to deal with my mom now.
All I want is to get back at her and here I am throwing her a party.
- It'll be fine.
Just take the high road.
- You can't lose.
- This looks great fruited Israeli couscous.
- Oh, honey, hi.
- Hey.
Thanks for coming.
So you stopped by to help us, huh? Actually, Kirsten called me, so I stopped by to help Kirsten.
Well, then I'll let you get to it.
- Kirsten.
Ryan.
- Julie.
- You okay? - Fine.
So, what can I do to help? Double check the guest list with the invitations.
I have everyone from The Newport Group, all the ladies from spin class.
- But there's no one from Julie's family.
- My mom and her parents don't speak.
What about her sisters? Well, there's always Aunt Cindy.
The caterers.
Great.
Aunt Cindy, you'll get in touch with her? Yeah.
See? Take the high road.
You've never met Aunt Cindy.
Well.
- It's It's - It's more than twice what we put into it.
Caught me at a good time.
A man in love has no right doing business.
- Besides, we're family.
- Right.
Are we? I don't know.
- I can't keep track.
- Now, if you'll excuse me my fianc Áe wants help picking out linens for the reception.
I had no idea there were so many shades of beige.
All right, we'll see you.
He's up to something.
Either that or he's on some serious painkillers.
But you know what? I don't care.
Two and a half million dollars? I can finally breathe again.
I'm happy for you.
- But? - Well I wish it could have been the place that did it, not Caleb.
I thought we'd be rescued by meat loaf and dirty martinis.
That's how it was supposed to be.
Think about it.
All that meat loaf you'd be making? It's off your hands.
Now you've got time for work.
That's what I was trying to get away from.
No, no.
I mean real work.
The stuff that you love.
Like rescuing kids and down-and-out guys who are millions of dollars in debt.
Come on, right now there's a stray out there just waiting for you to swoop down and save the day.
Remember, we are off-our-asses wasted and totally lost in the woods and I gotta go like nobody's business, so I end up dropping trou right there.
Sure enough, poison oak everywhere.
Julie tells the whole school.
What a bitch, right? - Charming story.
- Yeah, good times.
Mind if I smoke? - Actually, l - Sorry.
I tried to quit once, but I ended up putting on 30 pounds.
And who wants to have sex with that, right? Aunt Cindy.
Look at you! - Hey.
- Hey.
- So this is my boyfriend, Ryan.
- Hi.
Cindy's been telling me some priceless stories about your mom.
Yeah, I was telling her about Julie's Def Leppard phase.
- She drove us to Anaheim to scalp tickets.
- I can't believe she was into heavy metal.
- I can't believe she ever went to Anaheim.
- So where is the belle of the ball anyway? Doing yoga? Getting Botox? You and Julie, do you talk often? Sure, if you call once every seven years often.
Look, I'll hand it to you straight.
I was shocked she wanted me here.
- You were? - Yeah.
Last time I saw her, and memory's a little foggy on account of the Jell-O shots I'm pretty sure she told me to get lost, for good.
Marissa, can I talk to you in? Oh, hi.
I'm so sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but - What the hell are you doing here? - Well, it's nice to see you too.
I'm here because I was invited by Marissa.
- Marissa, is this true? - You guys have tons to catch up on so I'll give you some alone time.
- We should probably get that cake too.
Right.
Have fun.
And I decided that I wanted to celebrate both holidays, so what I did is, basically, I combined them, and I made Chrismukkah.
Like Christmas and Hanukkah.
- Chrismukkah.
- Chrismukkah.
Chrismukkah.
Well, that must be a lot of fun for you.
Yeah, we have fun with it.
But I don't want you to think I'm all about holiday cheer, I'm hoarding all of them or anything.
I have interests.
I have hobbies.
- Do you? - Sure, I do, sir.
- Comic books, for one.
- Comic books.
Sir, I think I hear the skepticism in your tone.
And I understand, but I just want to tell you I believe the comic book is a legitimate art form.
Frank Miller's Sin City Powers by Brian Bendis arguably one of the best writers in comics today.
I mean, combines sort of the storytelling panache of, like, a Stan Lee that old-school vibe, but mixed with a lyrical you know, sophistication of I want to say Alan Moore.
It's probably too inside for you.
You're probably a fan of the classics.
Superman? Batman fan? No? Iceman? He freezes things.
- So, Summer - Isn't Summer the best? Little force of nature, just sitting there.
Little live wire.
- Yes, she is.
- I think she's so full of vim and vigor.
What, in your surgical opinion, does she have more of? Would you say it's vim or vigor? - Cohen, what are you talking about? - Summer.
Summer I'm just saying that I think you've been extraordinarily blessed with vim.
- And vigor too, sir.
- What do you say we order? Okay.
I like food.
Yes.
So we just say that we're very happy together.
- We hope that they can be happy for us.
- Yeah.
- You know? - Easy.
Hailey? The door? What if it isn't the right time because my dad's getting married to Julie.
And Kirsten's planning the shower You know what? We should wait until the timing's right.
Know what I'm saying? The timing's wrong.
- Yeah.
- Right.
Okay, good.
- Okay, great.
- Excellent.
This is a good idea too.
- I'm so sorry.
- I feel so Did you see the look on my mom's face? - So much for the high road.
- Yeah, this is way more fun.
Hi, we're here to pick up a cake for Cooper.
- Let me check on that.
- Thanks.
Oh, my God, this is amazing.
You've got to try this.
- You need another piece.
- Stop! Theresa, what happened? - Eddie? - I didn't want you involved.
You weren't supposed to know I was here.
I guess Sandy told you anyway.
Sandy Sandy knows about this? Hey, where have you been? I couldn't sleep.
I thought watching the sun come up and getting my ass kicked by some 4-footers would help.
It didn't.
Here's that vanilla half-caf caramel macchiato on the dry side you love.
It's so good.
It's only 1500 calories per sip.
- Hey, what time is that shower today? - Why? - I might be late, depending on traffic.
- We live 10 minutes from the club.
- I'll be coming from Chino.
- What? I want to pay Eddie a visit, knock some sense into him.
Metaphorically, of course.
At the very least, give him a good scare.
- I'm taking back the coffee.
- People here need to hear from you.
- Ryan is really upset.
- What can I do? - He won't talk to me.
- Explain it to him instead of trying to match him glare for glare.
What about Theresa? The victim, alone, in the motel room.
She'd love to hear from you.
Why don't you call her and invite her over.
- You can keep the coffee.
- Thank you.
I know you're pissed off.
I would have explained things to you but I couldn't until Theresa gave me the okay.
You guys decided to include me.
Thanks.
I'm a lawyer.
She asked for privacy, she's entitled.
She's getting beat up, and you keep it from me? What if I had told you? What are you gonna do? I don't know, help her.
How? Go to Chino? See Eddie? Land in the hospital or jail or worse? Theresa was protecting you.
- You should have told me.
- Well, I didn't.
Because I knew you'd get riled up and do something stupid.
Now that you do know I sure hope you don't prove me right.
- What about Theresa? - She's on her way here.
If she's around people that care about her she's less likely to go back to him.
- I gotta get ready for the shower.
- Do we understand each other? Hey, is your father around? I didn't even see him.
- Then I guess not.
- That's cool.
I figured he'd maybe want to say hey.
Do you know where he is? No, didn't say.
Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you.
- Did he say anything about the lunch? - Not really.
No, I didn't think he would.
I mean, it got a little awkward there in the comic-book part.
I think it turned a good corner at, like, the bread basket.
- Bread basket? Yeah.
Yeah, he asked me, you know, to pass the bread.
I said, "You'll wanna go bread stick as opposed to dinner roll.
" He went bread stick.
Shows he trusts me.
Didn't clock that.
So I didn't even get a review at all, huh? Not that I read my own press, but, I mean nothing involving thumbs or stars or - We should go.
You should have told me.
Right.
Because you would have taken the news so well.
You would have tried to kill him.
He deserves it.
Yeah, well, this is my problem.
Not yours.
I'm the one that has to figure this thing out.
What is there to figure out? You're not gonna stay with him? Right? I'll take some self-defense classes.
And Eddie and I will live happily ever after.
- How can you joke? - Because I'm tired of crying.
Okay? - I haven't seen you like this in a while.
- What? Flustered? Upset? Heading to a Newport party against my will? Passionate.
Driven.
This is the man I married.
Oh, yeah? So are you ready to face the happy couple? - The gruesome twosome? - Yeah.
- Hey.
- Hi.
So, Theresa, I hope you've decided to join us for the shower.
Thanks, but I'm not really looking my best.
I have some concealer upstairs works like a magic wand.
She's right.
You should see her without the stuff on.
Terrifying.
Hey, are you guys ready to go to the shower? - Hey, Theresa.
- Theresa's in town for a while.
Just till I get things straightened out.
Of course.
Well, then you should come to the shower.
Thanks.
- Julie, congratulations.
- Thank you.
- And, Kirsten, what a lovely party.
- Thank you.
Is it too early to start drinking? I hope not, or I'm in trouble.
Thank you.
After all your mom's been through, she deserves a man like Caleb Nichol.
You two will never have to worry about money ever again.
Will you excuse me? Which way is the ladies' room? Look at her flirting with her sister's boyfriend like she's in seventh grade again.
For once, I actually know what you mean.
Wonder which of my past humiliations she's telling him about now.
Oh, my God.
Did she just say "monster truck"? You were into monster trucks? I better get over there or there might not even be a wedding.
Hey, Juju, your ears must be burning.
I was telling Cal here about you and me and Knott's Berry Farm.
Cindy, thank you for entertaining Cal here but you should go.
Try the pastries.
Maybe it'll soak up some of that whiskey.
Does anybody want anything? - Tequila shooter? - Cindy, go.
I'm sorry about Cindy.
She's got oomph.
Spark.
Just like her sister.
Oh, and Julie looks fabulous.
Must be all those Yogalates classes.
Oh, you know, I've always wanted to try Yogalates.
- Really? - Me too.
Maybe we should Maybe we'll take a class together, you and I.
Needed a break? Hey.
Yeah.
I was just feeling a little lost out there.
You probably really need Ryan right now.
- Me being here, I'm getting in the way.
- Hey, it's not your fault.
Look, part of the reason I didn't want to tell Ryan about Eddie is because he seems really happy right now.
And that's because of you.
Look, Cal, a juicer.
- I need one of these.
- How about a game? Okay, folks! Has anyone here ever played "How Well Do You Know Them?" Cindy, everyone here already knows us.
That won't be much fun.
All right, I'm gonna be Chuck Woolery.
I'm gonna ask a question and whoever shouts out the most right answers, wins.
First question: What is Julie's favorite meal? Oh, I know this.
Chilean sea bass with roasted baby carrots.
No.
No, the answer is: Double-Double Cheeseburger, heavy on the sauce large fries and an orange soda.
Okay, next question.
Hi.
I've been looking for you.
For both of you.
- Everything's okay? - Yeah, it's just, at a shower.
Not really what I do.
- Is that him? - Yeah, he's just calling to apologize again.
- I'm not going to get it.
- You been talking to him? - Leave her alone.
- What are you doing? - What are you doing talking to him? - Stay out of this.
Stay out of it? You came here.
You knew I was gonna find out.
What did you think I was gonna do? He hit you.
You can't go back to him.
It's not that simple.
You know him.
He's not a bad person.
He made a mistake.
- You don't really believe that.
- Yes, I do.
- I know that.
- You're an expert on the subject? What are you gonna tell me? This isn't the first time? Has he done it before? Tell me, Theresa.
Has he hit you before? Ryan.
Growing up, who was Julie's first love? Rick Springfield? Close.
The entire defensive line of our eighth-grade football team.
I refuse to sit here and be humiliated.
Oh, crap.
Hey, you're carrying a purse now? Not that you shouldn't accessorize.
You stealing Marissa's car? If I don't do something, Theresa's gonna marry that guy.
- You can't go.
- Yeah, why not? It's a horrible idea, and my dad said not to.
She's taking his calls.
She's gonna go back to him.
It's gonna happen again.
- Dude, don't.
- I don't have a choice.
- Hey, man, you do.
- Let go of me.
Now.
- Is Ryan leaving? - Yeah.
Oh, he took your car.
Put down the window.
- Get out of the car.
- He's done it before.
- Well, that's the pattern.
- He'll do it again.
Don't try to fix this thing, kid.
I'm your guardian and I call the shots.
- Get out of the car.
- Somebody has to stop him.
Theresa has to decide on her own to leave Eddie.
We can't force her.
I know about these things.
Theresa, Eddie, Chino.
- You don't get it.
- Oh, yes, I do.
I've seen too many kids just like him, and I know it will not be you to suddenly make him change.
- So you want me to do nothing? - Yes.
I can't do that.
Thank you very much.
That was quite a scene out there, huh? I'll always love Cindy.
So do you wanna talk about this? I know it's weird.
Even though it was years ago you and I dated, she's still your sister.
It's not jealousy.
I just don't want to see my friend make a terrible mistake.
- What makes you think it's a mistake? - Jimmy, this is what Hailey does.
She uses people to get back at me.
Kirsten this isn't about you.
Hailey and I, you know, it feels real.
Okay.
It's just that you're starting to do well and I don't want to see you - Happy? Because that's what I am.
It's the first time since Julie left me I don't feel completely alone.
So just be happy for me, okay? Okay.
What do you want, Cindy? Money? - I don't want your money.
- The hell you don't.
Why else would you come down here and humiliate me in front of my friends? Those people aren't your friends.
They don't even know you.
- And you do? - I used to.
Back when you had big hair and you wore tight jeans.
We were supposed to leave Riverside together, remember? We were gonna move to L.
A.
And marry rock stars.
Then you took off.
And you moved to the beach without me.
I couldn't exactly take you with me.
I know.
I just I miss you sometimes, that's all.
I'm sorry about what happened out there.
Guess I won't be invited to the wedding, huh? Of course you'll be invited to the wedding.
We wouldn't have it any other way.
Thanks.
I'll be outside.
Well, I'm sure you found Cindy's visit very revealing.
Julie, there is nothing I could find out about you that would make me walk away.
Hey, you're avoiding me.
That's cool.
I kind of like it.
It's kind of a throwback.
It feels very eighth-grade.
So I'm guessing that this has something to do with me bombing with your father.
- It was a train wreck.
- I was nervous.
- You didn't stop talking.
I know.
I get chatty when I'm completely terrified.
Look, next time I'll be I'll be the strong silent type.
Or I'll just be silent, okay? Look, my dad and I are best friends.
We've been through everything together.
And he's never been wrong.
I mean, he's my dad.
- And he hated me? - You just weren't what he expected.
Yeah? What was he expecting? Someone taller? - Blonder? Presbyterian? What? - Just different.
My dad's really protective of me.
Look, I'm sorry if your dad doesn't think I'm good enough for you.
Really, I am.
If that's the way he feels, that sucks.
But you know what? It doesn't matter.
I don't really have to be his type, because the only thing that matters is me and you.
Right? I have to go.
I thought you'd be in Chino by now.
I got as far as Corona.
And? And I realized Eddie wasn't who I needed to talk to.
- What are you doing going back to him? - It won't happen again.
He promised.
- Like he promised the last time, right? - What am I supposed to do? - My whole life is in Chino.
- So was mine.
Right, so I wait for some rich, perfect family to adopt me and stick me in their beautiful pool house? Great idea.
- You can stay with the Cohens too.
- No, I can't.
- Why not? - Because I move in there and then what happens? I don't know.
I don't know.
I know what happens if you go back to Eddie.
So do you.
I am never throwing another party again.
Oh, honey, don't tease.
Nothing good happens at our parties.
Have you noticed that? Yeah, the gruesome twosome never tighter.
- Jimmy and Hailey, officially a couple.
And Ryan's probably heading back to juvie right about now.
And if he is I know just the guy to get him out.
- Hi.
- Hey, you all right? How's Eddie? I decided to take my lawyer's advice and went to see Theresa instead.
Hi, Mr.
Cohen.
Mrs.
Cohen.
- You can stay as long as you want.
- Thank you.
You can sleep in the pool house.
Ryan, you can bunk in with Seth, on the air mattress.
Come on.
Why don't we get you settled in.
Thanks for doing this.
Kirsten and I would do anything for you.
Yeah, me too.
Well, I'm glad to hear it because we lost the pump.
So somebody's gonna have to blow that sucker up.
- Hey, Marissa.
- Hey, Kirsten.
Is Ryan home? Yeah, he's in the pool house.
He's helping Theresa get settled in.
So she's staying? Yeah.
He loves you, you know.
- I know.
- Then make room for her to be in his life.
He's not going anywhere.
Sorry I bailed on the shower.
Don't you think this apology should be directed elsewhere like, say, Marissa? I guess so.
I didn't want to, I had to Again, should be directed somewhere else.
If it makes you feel any better, things between me and Summer suck.
- Because of her dad? - Of all the love triangles to sink us it is the least sexy.
Go talk to your girlfriend.
One of us should be able to.
Right.
Hi.
Today I said I was gonna be there, and I wasn't.
It's okay.
And I know you got a lot to deal with coming up.
But we're gonna get through it together.
You and me, we're gonna be fine.
I What? I think we are gonna be fine.