True Jackson, VP (2008) s01e25 Episode Script

True Jackson, vp was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Morning, true.
It's a glorious day, isn't it? What did you do? What makes you think I did anything? Just a hunch.
Stink bomb? There's a reason, it's a classic.
Look, maybe you should hang out somewhere else for today.
I've got a ton of work to do for this photo shoot.
What kind of photo shoot? Swimwear.
I've gotta spend all morning casting models.
I'm in! Male models.
I'm out! I also have to pick the theme for the photo shoot.
I'm thinking something with an asian influence.
Like Frank woo? Who's that? You know, the star of "honk Kong spooky," the lamest movie of all time.
You've seen it 11 times.
Which gives me the authority to make my statement.
That thing is a poop-storm.
You think you could make a better movie? Totally.
Hey, that is a great idea.
I'm gonna make my own spooky movie.
Oh, I can't wait till the million dollar bills just start pouring in.
Maybe you can use some of that money to buy you a new brain.
That's a pretty good storyline, keep going.
The whole world stinks.
It's a classic.
What's wrong, Lulu? It's over with me and Mikey j.
What happened? He's acting totally weird and distant.
Plus the back to school dance is only a few days away and he hasn't asked me to go.
He's probably taking someone else.
Ryan! It's okay, true.
He's probably right.
When are you ladies gonna realize that I'm so much smarter than you give me credit for? Oof! Oh, come on! From my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grown-up job I never really knew I could work this hard just used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new vp I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just messin' around and we're makin' new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's goin' down 'cause I'm the new vp Oscar, will you send the first group of male models in? Will do.
Ooh, this is so exciting! Listen up, schoolgirl, this is work, not a mixer.
I expect you to conduct yourself with utmost professionalism.
Yes, ma'am.
Wowza! Amanda, what happened to being cool? Oh, yes, yes, you're right.
I'm sorry.
What's with that guy? I'll say.
Uh, gentlemen, the campaign is for our new urban swimwear line.
Would you please show us your most rugged pose? Danger.
Excellent! I think we've got our winner.
You can't mean who I think you mean? Number four, please.
And what is your name? Brock champion, fashion model.
Just the man I was looking for.
How would you like to help me make a movie? Depends, what's it about? I'm not sure, but it's gonna be the scariest movie ever made.
Like if all the shipping labels in the world fell off their packages and no one knew where to deliver them? Scarier.
Whoa.
I'm gonna shoot it here in the office after hours.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Why not? Do you know who mabel o'grady was? That old receptionist here? Yes.
She died 50 years ago today.
Some say she walks the halls at night.
Right.
One night a security guard stayed here after hours on a dare.
The next day, all they found were his shoes, gift wrapped, sitting in the supply room.
You know what I found in the supply room one time? An undelivered letter from 1972.
Oh, check it out.
The hair on the back of my neck is totally standing up.
Hi, Mikey j.
, it's me again.
Call me back, will you? We gotta talk.
Have you picked out your favorites yet? These are the two I liked best.
This guy's the most handsome, but this latin dude's muy caliente! You don't like them? Oh, they're handsome, but it just seems like for this campaign we want someone staggeringly handsome.
Not brock champion again.
Oh! You remembered his name.
That has to mean something.
Yeah, it means he used his own name a hundred times in five minutes.
I don't think I'll ever forget it.
Let me just bring him back to prove how charismatic he is.
Fine.
I'll bring back my favorites too.
Now, shall we start brainstorming ideas about location? I'd sure like to see brock on a sailboat.
I'll bet he looks magnificent in a Captain's hat.
Can we talk about this later? I gotta go do something.
Cockney.
Oooh, exotic.
Hey Jimmy, listen to this.
Fade in.
The elevator door opens and Edward mailcart enters.
That's you.
I like it so far.
He looks around the empty office, raising his arms, summoning the demons that live within the walls.
Now I'm bored.
Bored? But it's just getting good.
Edward mailcart would never raise his arms like that.
How do you know? Because I'm Edward mailcart.
I just walk out and say, "get out of here, demons!" It's stronger that way.
I don't know.
Fine, I'm out.
Okay, okay, okay.
You can yell at the demons.
All right.
What happens next? That's all I have.
I figured we'd wing it.
What if Edward mailcart's great-great-grandfather was the first postmaster general? Yeah, I don't think so.
Fine, I'm out.
What is going on with you? In what way? I mean, I'm not arguing, it's just I don't know what you mean.
Lulu thinks you're not into her anymore.
That's crazy.
I like her so much it gives me a headache.
If she asked me to punch myself in the face, I'd do it.
Then why haven't you asked her to the back to school dance? I I don't know how to dance.
What? I never learned.
It's easy.
I can teach you.
Really? Totally.
I mean, if you really do like Lulu I really do.
If she asked me to drop a brick on my foot, I'd do it.
And then if she asked me to pick up that brick and bite it, I would.
Oscar, would you arrange a callback for Mr.
brock champion? Sure, I'll add him to the models that true gave me.
Oh, you can go ahead and cancel those.
I think brook's our man.
Amanda, have you seen true? Uh yes.
She stepped out to do something.
Oh, did she say what? No, she may have been going to see Mikey j.
She's been calling him all morning.
Not afraid to work with bees.
One-two-three, two-two-three, three-two-three, four-two-three.
I look bad, don't I? Don't think about how you look, think about how you feel.
I I feel like I look bad.
Come on.
My aunt tonesha can dance and she's got two left feet.
I mean, she really does.
She was born that way.
Come on, this is supposed to be fun.
One-two-three, two-two-three, three-two-three, four-two-three.
One-two-three, two-two-three, three-two-three, four-two-three.
One-two-three, two-two-three Showtime.
What are we shooting first? Let's start with scene 44.
You enter from the breakroom and notice you have blood all over you.
What blood? Hey! This is my favorite shirt.
Would you listen to yourself? Favorite shirt? Who are you, the mayor? Fine.
I enter from there and then what? Then you look at the camera and say, "wanna see something "really spooky?" Isn't that Frank woo's catchphrase? Oh, yeah.
Okay, don't say anything.
Ready? Ready.
And action.
And cut.
My character got hungry.
Ew, gross.
Listen up, demons and ghouls, I, Edward mailcart, great-great grandson of the postmaster general, I'm gonna overnight your butts to the dead letter office.
And cut.
What are you doing? What? Those aren't the words in the script.
Went off-book, keeps it exciting.
I'm two seconds away from replacing you with Oscar.
You wouldn't do it.
Oh, wouldn't I? What was that? Don't change the subject.
Quiet.
I think there's something in there.
Hey, that's pretty good acting.
I'm not acting.
Listen.
It's coming from the conference room.
I don't hear anything.
Open the door.
You open it.
No, you open it.
We'll both open it.
No, you open it.
Ahhh! Hi guys.
Lulu, you're trying to give me a heart attack? What are you doing here? I was too sad to go home.
I told my parents I was seeing a movie.
Why are you sad? True stole my boyfriend.
Oscar, have you seen Lulu? No, and she's usually the first one in.
I know this because she takes the raisin bagel before I can get to it.
It's the one thing I look forward to each day, but whatever.
Oh, and what time are the models coming in for their callbacks? Actually, it's only the one model.
Amanda had me cancel all the others.
Let me save you the trouble.
She did what now?! That better be her.
Did you cancel my models?! Well, that's some good morning.
Good morning.
Did you cancel my models?! I didn't cancel yours so much as only call back my own.
But I think we can all agree that brock is the best.
He's old and weird.
If he's old and weird, then sign me up for a lifetime subscription.
That doesn't even make sense.
Yeah, love doesn't make sense.
You're in love with him? I didn't say that.
He just has that special something.
At least come to his callback and see for yourself.
Okay.
Maybe I was wrong and he really does have something.
I call this one "brock a doodle doo," 'cause it'll wake anyone up.
And now the firecracker.
Sizzle, sizzle, sizzleBoom! Excellent, brock.
Excellent.
Uh, brock? Ye had a question, milady? That's a cockney accent.
Could you give us a moment? What's that guv'na? I said could you give us a moment? Heard you that time.
Brock on, ladies.
Oh what do you think? No.
Oh, could you be more specific? No, we're not hiring him.
Mr.
madigan said I could be half in charge of this shoot and I say no.
Well, I'm the other half and I say yes.
You're just saying that because you have a crush on him.
Oh, come on, that's ribrockulous! That's an expression, right? Hi, Ryan.
Oh, hello.
What's with the attitude? That was no attitude.
This is how I always talk to people who betray their friends.
How did I betray you? Not me, Lulu.
You stole her boyfriend.
No, I didn't.
Well, that's what she thinks.
She saw you dancing with Mikey j.
Huh? Hey Jimmy, come here.
Take a look at this.
Hey, I look pretty good.
No, forget looking at you.
What's that behind you? What are you doing? What? Those aren't the words in the script? You don't think it's Mabel o'grady.
Oscar wasn't kidding, she really does walk the halls at night.
What's she doing now? Goodbye, Ryan.
You too, Jimmy.
Oh boy, there it is again.
Feel my neck.
You don't seriously want me to touch your neck, do you? The hair's standing up.
Touch it.
There's no one in here.
I'm sleeping, go away.
Lulu, we need to talk.
Can it wait until I'm in a better mood? When will that be? Never.
Look, I'm not trying to steal Mikey j.
Then why were you dancing with him at his house? I can't tell you.
Then I guess we have nothing to talk about.
Lulu, come on.
He's the only boy I ever liked, true.
Why would you do that to me? He doesn't know how to dance, okay? I was teaching him.
And that's supposed to make me feel better? Yeah, he was just embarrassed.
He only wants to dance with you.
Really? That's why he didn't ask me to the dance? That's the reason.
So you're not in love with him and trying to steal him from me? I would never do anything like that, never.
You're my best friend.
You're my best friend, and I'm sorry I blew off work this morning.
I know that photo shoot thing was important to you.
Don't even mention that.
I auditioned two dozen of the finest dudes you've ever seen and Amanda went and hired some guy with a strawberry mustache.
Can I ask you a question? Just how bad a dancer is Mikey j.
? On a scale of urkel to Usher? He's more like my aunt tonesha.
Oh.
Lulu, my mom always says, when two people really care about each other, every dance is the perfect dance.
You two seem happy.
Lulu's going to the back to school dance with Mikey j.
Great.
Who are you going with, true? I don't wanna go to some stupid dance.
Nobody asked me.
I told her she should just ask somebody.
Like who? Who am I gonna ask? That's my new ringtone.
I'm gonna have to call you back.
Do it.
Shhh! Come on, true, you can do anything.
I gotta go get ready.
See ya.
Hey, Jimmy.
Hey true.
So, what'cha doing tonight? Any big plans? Nope.
You're probably hanging with vivienne.
We're, sort of, not seeing each other anymore.
You're not? I didn't know that.
Why didn't I know that? We just didn't have the same interests.
You know I'm interested in mail and music and hanging out with friends, and she was interested in seeing a sophomore from Michigan state.
I'm really sorry to hear that.
But not really.
You wouldn't wanna go out later, would you? I'm sorry.
Tonight is not a good night because I'm kidding, of course I can! Great.
I gotta get last pickup started.
See you in the lobby at 6:00? Maybe we'll catch a movie.
Sure.
Or go to High School dance.
What was that? See you at 6:00.
What's wrong? You're not still nervous about dancing, are you? I don't really know how it works.
You know what true's mom said? When two people really care about each other, every dance is the perfect dance.
Come on.
I just had to look at my shoes see if they're touching the ground the thought of one more night with you has me feeling like I'm looking down from on high like superman over the world thinking 'bout one special girl they say love makes you blind but I can see fine clearer than ever before they say every beauty must have a flaw but are you yet to find yours every beauty must have a flaw but I have yet to find yours every beauty must have a flaw but I have yet to find yours true, you came? And you're not gonna believe who I came with.
Jimmy? He's really interesting.
Did you know that in the last five years, the postal rate has gone up seven times? Yeah.
If you guys start going out, are you gonna be talking about mail all the time? Not sure, maybe.
Why? Just asking.
I don't really know how it works.
Man, I wonder if Jimmy can dance.
There's only one way to tell.
Hey, Jimmy.
Hey, Lulu.
I'll see you inside.
Jimmy, take my hand.
Why? I just wanna see something.
Oscar, make me a reservation at finique, will you? Of course.
How many? Just one.
How sad.
I'm sorry? I said house salad, try the house salad.
It's so lonely, I mean delicious.
Well, good night.
Here I am.
Brock me like a hurricane.
What are you doing here? Trying to fulfill the destinies of two people I like to call you and moi.
I brooked this for you.
Well, I'm honored, really, but I have a strict policy about dating people I work with.
Then I quit.
You can't quit.
Who will I get to do the shoot? You can hire one of those ugly guys you auditioned before me.
I'll even let 'em use some of my moves.
But not the jovial mummy, that's my signature walk.
But brock, I don't know what to say.
Don't say anything.
Oscar, that dinner reservation? Make it for two.
Make it three.
I'll be bringing mother.
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