Batman s01e26 Episode Script
Perchance to Dream
What the? Good morning, Master Bruce.
Rise and shine, sir.
I'm lucky to be awake at all.
I fell into that trap like an amateur.
Trap, sir? How'd I get back here? - Robin? - Robin, sir? A young lady? I thought you and Miss Selina were Pardon me, sir, none of my business.
If this is a joke, Alfred, it's not funny.
If it's a joke, sir, I assure you it's on me.
I've just prepared breakfast.
Perhaps morning coffee will clear the cobwebs.
What? - A problem, sir? - It's not here.
- What's not here, sir? - You know what I'm talking about.
The entrance to the Batcave.
Why is it sealed up? Batcave? - I'm sorry, I don't - That's right, Alfred, the Batcave.
It's a big hole in the ground with a big car in it that's all black, remember? Son? You sound upset.
Is something the matter? No.
No, it's impossible.
No.
It can't be you.
It can't be.
You okay, son? I'm I'm all right.
Just partied too hard last night, that's all.
You will be able to get to the office, won't you? There's that stockholder's meeting.
Sure.
I'm fine, really.
Well, good.
Glad you'll be there.
Your mother and I have an appointment too this morning.
On the golf course.
This should be just the thing for your meeting, Master Bruce.
Alfred, will you do me a favor? It's an odd favor.
Would you tell me about my life? Just humor me, please.
Very well, Master Bruce.
Since your father retired, you've been head of Wayne Enterprises though Lucius Fox really runs the business.
Not that you aren't capable, of course.
That's all right, Alfred.
Go on, please.
And unless plans have changed since last night you're to marry Miss Selina Kyle.
You proposed to her last week.
No, it's wrong.
It's all wrong.
Well, sir, it's a leisurely existence, I admit.
But there are worse lives.
Selina? Your mother called, darling, said you could use some cheering up.
And who better for the job than the woman you're marrying next week.
Bruce, you really are upset.
What's wrong? I feel as if I'm someone else.
It's crazy, but I know I'm Batman.
- Hey, watch where you're going! - Bruce.
Bruce, wait.
Hey! Help! Isn't he fantastic? Actually, yeah.
Who is he? They call him Batman.
No, I mean, who is he? No one knows.
He just appeared in Gotham a few weeks ago.
Bruce, you okay? Selina, does the name Catwoman ring a bell? Catwoman? You're beginning to worry me.
What's this all about? I'm losing my mind, that's what.
I couldn't go to a psychiatrist.
You're the only doctor I trust, Leslie.
It's like I'm living someone else's life.
I don't know anything about me anymore.
Help me, Leslie, please.
Even though I'm not a psychiatrist, Bruce, your problem seems clear.
You've led a life where everything has been handed to you even Wayne Enterprises.
You don't feel you've accomplished anything.
It's all been laid out for you.
So your unconscious created a life more satisfying to you.
You've identified with someone whose every deed has great value.
- Batman.
- It's called disassociation, Bruce.
Once you find pride In your own existence, then these delusions will vanish.
Then all these years of training and discipline - What happened to my parents - A delusion.
Then the nightmare is over.
Dad.
Dad, will you and Mom join Selina and me at the opera tonight? You certainly seem like your old self again, Bruce.
I've never felt better in my life, sir.
I'll check with your mother.
Have you found that entrance to the Batcave yet, Alfred? I'm afraid not, sir.
Good.
Because if you had, then we'd both be nuts.
It's nice to see you in good humor again, Master Bruce.
Why shouldn't I be? My life is a dream, Alfred.
The best dream anyone ever had.
I'll just prepare your suit for the opera tonight.
You do that, Alfred.
Nothing makes sense! Bruce! No.
You're a lie.
It's all a lie! Once again, the mysterious figure known as Batman Batman! Always Batman! Stop it, son.
Calm down.
He's behind all this.
I know it.
And I'm gonna find out why.
You're not well, son.
Bruce.
I need a flare gun and some flares.
Sure, no problem.
Excuse me, sir.
This is a no-parking zone.
May we see your license? Certainly, officer.
Mr.
Wayne, your parents are concerned about you.
Please come with us.
Very well.
But not right now.
Hey! Stop! Blast it.
Go around.
We'll cut him off.
Up there.
Stop.
Guy moves like Batman.
Stop right there, Mr.
Wayne.
Not again.
Here I am! I've been waiting for you! You did this to me! You're not well, Mr.
Wayne.
You need professional help.
Liar! You know what's going on.
This is a dream.
And you're the one responsible.
A dream? Why do you think that? I suspected it from the start.
I knew I was right when I tried to read the paper.
The print didn't make sense.
Yes? Reading is a function of the right side of the brain while dreams come from the left side.
It's impossible to read something in a dream.
Granting that's true, how is it my fault? I can't explain it.
But you're the key to this.
I knew you'd be here.
This tower is part of my nightly patrol.
Now tell me what's going on.
We know you're up there, Mr.
Wayne.
We don't want to hurt you.
We just want to talk.
The Mad Hatter?! Congratulations are in order, I suppose.
And you're right.
This is a dream, a very special dream.
Then you know everything about me.
I do.
But I'm only part of your dream.
The mind-control apparatus reveals nothing to the real world.
Its purpose is to create an ideal world for you.
Then you're not the real Mad Hatter.
No.
Just a figment of your imagination.
But that doesn't mean I'm not real in this dream world.
Make it stop.
Bring me back.
I'm crushed.
You don't like the fantasy world I've created for you? It's not real.
Are you the dreamer or merely part of someone's dream? That was just the question Tweedledee put to Alice in Through the- This isn't some silly storybook! But it is.
It's a beautiful story.
You have love, wealth, a family.
All you ever wanted.
Your own private Wonderland.
No! I won't live a lie.
No matter how attractive you make it.
It's a moot point, my friend.
There's no way out of this.
Tell me how to wake up, or I'll You can't hurt a dream, my good fellow.
And you can't wake up.
Stop fighting it.
You see? In a moment the police will be here.
Do you want to spend the rest of your dream life in Arkham? Open up, Mr.
Wayne.
You're wrong.
There is a way out.
Now wait just a minute.
You don't want to do anything foolish.
This isn't an ordinary dream.
What if you're wrong? Then I'll see you in your nightmares.
Mr.
Wayne, no.
No! You can't! It's impossible.
No one's will is strong enough to escape my dream machine.
Why? Why did you do it? You, of all people, have the gall to ask me that? You ruined my life.
I was willing to give you whatever life you wanted just to keep you out of mine.
Something for the lab boys to play with.
Any idea what it is? Yes.
The stuff that dreams are made of.
Rise and shine, sir.
I'm lucky to be awake at all.
I fell into that trap like an amateur.
Trap, sir? How'd I get back here? - Robin? - Robin, sir? A young lady? I thought you and Miss Selina were Pardon me, sir, none of my business.
If this is a joke, Alfred, it's not funny.
If it's a joke, sir, I assure you it's on me.
I've just prepared breakfast.
Perhaps morning coffee will clear the cobwebs.
What? - A problem, sir? - It's not here.
- What's not here, sir? - You know what I'm talking about.
The entrance to the Batcave.
Why is it sealed up? Batcave? - I'm sorry, I don't - That's right, Alfred, the Batcave.
It's a big hole in the ground with a big car in it that's all black, remember? Son? You sound upset.
Is something the matter? No.
No, it's impossible.
No.
It can't be you.
It can't be.
You okay, son? I'm I'm all right.
Just partied too hard last night, that's all.
You will be able to get to the office, won't you? There's that stockholder's meeting.
Sure.
I'm fine, really.
Well, good.
Glad you'll be there.
Your mother and I have an appointment too this morning.
On the golf course.
This should be just the thing for your meeting, Master Bruce.
Alfred, will you do me a favor? It's an odd favor.
Would you tell me about my life? Just humor me, please.
Very well, Master Bruce.
Since your father retired, you've been head of Wayne Enterprises though Lucius Fox really runs the business.
Not that you aren't capable, of course.
That's all right, Alfred.
Go on, please.
And unless plans have changed since last night you're to marry Miss Selina Kyle.
You proposed to her last week.
No, it's wrong.
It's all wrong.
Well, sir, it's a leisurely existence, I admit.
But there are worse lives.
Selina? Your mother called, darling, said you could use some cheering up.
And who better for the job than the woman you're marrying next week.
Bruce, you really are upset.
What's wrong? I feel as if I'm someone else.
It's crazy, but I know I'm Batman.
- Hey, watch where you're going! - Bruce.
Bruce, wait.
Hey! Help! Isn't he fantastic? Actually, yeah.
Who is he? They call him Batman.
No, I mean, who is he? No one knows.
He just appeared in Gotham a few weeks ago.
Bruce, you okay? Selina, does the name Catwoman ring a bell? Catwoman? You're beginning to worry me.
What's this all about? I'm losing my mind, that's what.
I couldn't go to a psychiatrist.
You're the only doctor I trust, Leslie.
It's like I'm living someone else's life.
I don't know anything about me anymore.
Help me, Leslie, please.
Even though I'm not a psychiatrist, Bruce, your problem seems clear.
You've led a life where everything has been handed to you even Wayne Enterprises.
You don't feel you've accomplished anything.
It's all been laid out for you.
So your unconscious created a life more satisfying to you.
You've identified with someone whose every deed has great value.
- Batman.
- It's called disassociation, Bruce.
Once you find pride In your own existence, then these delusions will vanish.
Then all these years of training and discipline - What happened to my parents - A delusion.
Then the nightmare is over.
Dad.
Dad, will you and Mom join Selina and me at the opera tonight? You certainly seem like your old self again, Bruce.
I've never felt better in my life, sir.
I'll check with your mother.
Have you found that entrance to the Batcave yet, Alfred? I'm afraid not, sir.
Good.
Because if you had, then we'd both be nuts.
It's nice to see you in good humor again, Master Bruce.
Why shouldn't I be? My life is a dream, Alfred.
The best dream anyone ever had.
I'll just prepare your suit for the opera tonight.
You do that, Alfred.
Nothing makes sense! Bruce! No.
You're a lie.
It's all a lie! Once again, the mysterious figure known as Batman Batman! Always Batman! Stop it, son.
Calm down.
He's behind all this.
I know it.
And I'm gonna find out why.
You're not well, son.
Bruce.
I need a flare gun and some flares.
Sure, no problem.
Excuse me, sir.
This is a no-parking zone.
May we see your license? Certainly, officer.
Mr.
Wayne, your parents are concerned about you.
Please come with us.
Very well.
But not right now.
Hey! Stop! Blast it.
Go around.
We'll cut him off.
Up there.
Stop.
Guy moves like Batman.
Stop right there, Mr.
Wayne.
Not again.
Here I am! I've been waiting for you! You did this to me! You're not well, Mr.
Wayne.
You need professional help.
Liar! You know what's going on.
This is a dream.
And you're the one responsible.
A dream? Why do you think that? I suspected it from the start.
I knew I was right when I tried to read the paper.
The print didn't make sense.
Yes? Reading is a function of the right side of the brain while dreams come from the left side.
It's impossible to read something in a dream.
Granting that's true, how is it my fault? I can't explain it.
But you're the key to this.
I knew you'd be here.
This tower is part of my nightly patrol.
Now tell me what's going on.
We know you're up there, Mr.
Wayne.
We don't want to hurt you.
We just want to talk.
The Mad Hatter?! Congratulations are in order, I suppose.
And you're right.
This is a dream, a very special dream.
Then you know everything about me.
I do.
But I'm only part of your dream.
The mind-control apparatus reveals nothing to the real world.
Its purpose is to create an ideal world for you.
Then you're not the real Mad Hatter.
No.
Just a figment of your imagination.
But that doesn't mean I'm not real in this dream world.
Make it stop.
Bring me back.
I'm crushed.
You don't like the fantasy world I've created for you? It's not real.
Are you the dreamer or merely part of someone's dream? That was just the question Tweedledee put to Alice in Through the- This isn't some silly storybook! But it is.
It's a beautiful story.
You have love, wealth, a family.
All you ever wanted.
Your own private Wonderland.
No! I won't live a lie.
No matter how attractive you make it.
It's a moot point, my friend.
There's no way out of this.
Tell me how to wake up, or I'll You can't hurt a dream, my good fellow.
And you can't wake up.
Stop fighting it.
You see? In a moment the police will be here.
Do you want to spend the rest of your dream life in Arkham? Open up, Mr.
Wayne.
You're wrong.
There is a way out.
Now wait just a minute.
You don't want to do anything foolish.
This isn't an ordinary dream.
What if you're wrong? Then I'll see you in your nightmares.
Mr.
Wayne, no.
No! You can't! It's impossible.
No one's will is strong enough to escape my dream machine.
Why? Why did you do it? You, of all people, have the gall to ask me that? You ruined my life.
I was willing to give you whatever life you wanted just to keep you out of mine.
Something for the lab boys to play with.
Any idea what it is? Yes.
The stuff that dreams are made of.