Batman: The Brave and the Bold (2008) s01e26 Episode Script
The Fate of Equinox!
Well, another fine mess you've gotten me into.
How would I know she had knockout gas in her make-up compact? I don't know, maybe because you've fought her, like, two dozen times? [GROWLING AND SNARLING.]
CATWOMAN: Looks like you're about to catch a very bad case of cat-scratch fever, Batman.
You're the one who's caught, Catwoman in the crooked claws of crime.
Spare me your morality, hero.
Who deserves these precious symbols of feline superiority more than I? Surely not the curators of that musty old museum I rescued them from.
Okay, Bats, what's it gonna be? Bat-catnip to distract the kitties or a high-frequency Bat-a-ma-jig to scramble their brains, huh? You've let larceny taint your loveliness, Catwoman.
My pets will soon silence that insolent tongue of-- Did you say lovely? Less talk, more utility belt, huh? Are you even listening to me? Lovely, yes, but evil too.
Give up this life of crime, Catwoman.
Allow me to help rehabilitate you.
Wait.
Are you two flirting? Oh, always trying to declaw me, Batman which is why I must clip your wings, permanently.
Not if I collar you first.
You are.
You're flirting.
Flirterers! [GREEN ARROW SHOUTS.]
I told you we should have taken his belt away.
[HISSES.]
You two take the overgrown elf.
I'll take the Batman.
[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING.]
Bats! You chose the wrong career, Batman.
We could be partners in crime.
The perfect power couple.
I'm a servant of justice.
But justice is always looking for new recruits.
Can you believe those two? [LAUGHS THEN GAGS.]
Shut your cat box, pal.
Time for these kittens to get back to the museum where they belong.
They belong with the one who would appreciate them most.
What can I say? I'm a girl with a taste for only the finest.
Oh, give me a break.
Ease up, Arrow.
She's only a cat burglar, not a violent psychopath.
Are you forgetting she nearly turned us into cat food back there? [CATWOMAN SHOUTS AND GREEN ARROW GRUNTS.]
-You have so got the hots for her.
-Nonsense.
My only interest in her is rehabilitation.
So letting her escape is part of your reform therapy? I'm gonna have to try that one on Clock King next time.
Don't worry, I have a hunch I'll know where to find her soon.
[GRUNTS.]
The children and I have been waiting for you, Batman.
Psycho Pirate.
When the Outsiders went missing I suspected you were behind it.
But this is sick, even for you.
All I'm doing is giving the little ones a much deserved nap.
Can I help it if their nightmares taste so delectable? You're nothing but a psychic vampire who preys on the emotions of others but it ends now.
Uh-uh-uh-uh.
Opening those chambers while the program is running will fry their tiny brains.
And pull me out and no one wakes up.
They're only kids, Pirate.
What will it take to make you release them? [LAUGHING.]
I'll stop when I've picked their minds clean.
Then I'm coming in to show you what a real nightmare is.
Just remember, Batman, when you die in the dream world you never wake up.
[PSYCHO PIRATE LAUGHING.]
[GIRL SOBBING.]
KATANA: I'm so sorry, Master Takahiro I never should have opened my big mouth.
Now Takeo knows the sword is here and he's coming for it.
Shh, young one, I will deal with Takeo but you must find a place to hide.
I've come for the katana sword, Takahiro.
He's going to kill Master Takahiro, and it's my fault.
Katana, listen to me, this is only a dream.
Psycho Pirate is manipulating you.
No.
It's all my fault.
At last.
It will do you no good.
Only a warrior of pure mind and gentle heart may wield it.
Wishful thinking from an old fool.
A shame you won't live to see how wrong you are.
[GASPS.]
You're seeing something that happened years ago.
Its a nightmare.
There's nothing we can do now.
I know.
I've relived this nightmare a hundred times.
But this time, I'm getting revenge.
Wait.
Katana.
No! [GROANING.]
KATANA: Takeo! [KATANA SHOUTS AND KATEO GRUNTS.]
[GROANING.]
[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING.]
[LAUGHING.]
You killed him, my dear.
You and that mouth you can't keep shut.
Go on, Katana, take your revenge.
Strike me down! This isn't our way.
Its not Takahiro's way.
Is that why you don't talk anymore, Katana? Because your big mouth betrayed Takahiro? You know he's wrong.
Your silence is in honor of Takahiro.
You didn't betray him.
Takahiro sacrificed himself to make you reach your full potential.
He knew only the warrior of pure mind and gentle heart could wield that sword.
And I've forgotten his most important lesson self-control.
PSYCHO PIRATE: The girl's guilt was quite tasty while it lasted but I'm still hungry.
He feeds off rage.
You were just the appetizer.
It looks like Black Lightning is the main course.
Black Lightning has always been a ball of fury.
I can only imagine what horrors he's reliving.
[GIRL SCREAMS.]
Better brace ourselves.
This could be deeply disturbing.
[CROWD SHOUTING.]
Sprinkles? On coffee? What are you, a 6 year old? Oh, so you're the reason I had to throw away a brand-new pair of high-tops Mr.
I-Forgot-the-Scoop-at-Home.
[DOG YELPING.]
And, lady, didn't you get the memo? No white after Labor Day! Not exactly the deep core of emotional trauma I expected.
[HORN HONKING.]
You drive a vehicle that big just to haul a bag of groceries? [WOMAN SCREAMS.]
Black Lightning, you need to relax and get ahold of yourself.
Relax? How can I relax when I know something like that is coming to a theater near me? That won't solve anything.
You're right.
I have to go after the filmmakers.
You're a superhero.
You're bigger than this.
You know what else makes me angry? Superheroes wearing capes.
You can't even fly! No, honey, I was going to-- No, you were supposed to pick up the kids.
Hey, cyborg, your call is about to drop.
[GROANING.]
Seen your old master around lately, chatterbox? [LAUGHING.]
BLACK LIGHTNING: So, what's with the bat decal? You're like a walking bull's-eye.
[LAUGHING.]
MAN: Hiya, kids.
Who needs a hug today? Oh, no.
It can't be! [DREAM-LIKE MUSIC PLAYING ON TV.]
Not that! Not Yorick, the Unicorn! [LAUGHING.]
Its only a kids' TV show.
Hugs do not solve everybody's problems! Neither does rage.
Every time you use your lightning, Psycho Pirate gets stronger.
Every day is free hug day.
The heck it is.
ALL: Rainbows are made of unicorn smiles.
Bath time is playtime and good, clean fun.
[GASPS.]
ALL: Rainbows are made of unicorn smiles.
Happiness is a warm hug.
That warm enough for you? You're showing the same resentment and intolerance that drove the Outsiders underground in the first place.
Use your passion to stop the real threat: Psycho Pirate.
[BLACK LIGHTNING GROANING.]
-He's right.
Okay, okay.
ALL: Rainbows are made of smiles.
Its only a silly children's show.
-Happiness is a warm hug.
ALL: Rainbows are made of smiles.
PSYCHO PIRATE: Congratulations, Batman.
You've snatched two succulent courses from my jaws.
But I still have room for dessert.
Well, the worst is over.
Once we spring Metamorpho, we're home free, right? -Don't be so sure.
-You kidding? Happy-go-lucky Morpho? I've never once seen him lose his temper.
[GROWLS.]
Looks like you're about to.
[CAR ALARM BLARING.]
[SHOUTING.]
This cannot be the same Metamorpho who sleeps with a Fuzzy Furry Doll.
Metamorpho's rage has been Psycho Pirate's real fuel source all along.
You two were just pawns to keep me busy.
Gee, thanks for that jolt of confidence, Bats.
[METAMORPHO GROWLING AND SHOUTING.]
Okay, I get it, he's really steamed.
But what about? Look at them.
They know they can walk in public without being stared at so they laugh at you behind your back.
They call you a freak.
Wait a minute.
If this is all a dream world he can't really hurt us.
Right? In Psycho Pirate's world he can but we have to make sure not to hurt Metamorpho.
He doesn't know what he's doing.
We can't blast him? Then what are we gonna do? -Reason with him? -Its our only choice.
His anger comes from feeling he's an outcast.
We have to remind him he's not.
[SIGHS.]
Well, here goes nothing.
Morpho, buddy how can you be so mad when you've got the coolest powers in the world? Me, I'm just a talking electric socket and Katana, she's a glorified paring knife.
But we count on you, dude.
You count on me? Its working.
No, they use you.
They're jealous of your power and want it for themselves.
We need a two-pronged attack.
You keep trying to get through to Metamorpho I'll take care of Psycho Pirate.
You don't really hate us, do you? Okay.
Not the answer I was hoping for.
[GRUNTS.]
You're weak, Pirate.
You don't have the guts to take on the heavy hitters, so you go after kids.
That's it, Batman.
Feed me your fury.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING.]
Metamorpho! We became the Outsiders because we all felt we were different alone and unable to fit in with everyone else.
But that's what makes us, all of us, so cool.
We're a team.
We all need each other, and we need you.
Aw, sorry, guys.
My bad.
Ugh.
Hugs.
[SHOUTING.]
No.
You didn't.
Even a psyche as warped as yours could never-- Of course I did, they're of no use to me now.
But remember, you're the reason they became heroes so it's your fault they're-- [SHOUTING.]
No greater anger than the anger of the just.
You're still feeding.
This isn't the real lab.
Indeed, Batman.
We're in your nightmare now, and there is no escape.
[CACKLING.]
There's always an escape.
What? What are you doing? I'm feeding you the one thing you can't stomach happy thoughts.
I don't always need fury to fight with.
You're looking thin, Pirate.
You should really eat something.
Try this.
[SCREAMING.]
I say we take this creep out back and.
Ahem, and let the, uh, authorities deal with him.
Speaking of authorities, keep an eye on Psycho Pirate while I call them.
Yo, those must have been some majorly happy thoughts to turn that machine into a junk pile.
Yeah.
What are Batman's happiest thoughts?
How would I know she had knockout gas in her make-up compact? I don't know, maybe because you've fought her, like, two dozen times? [GROWLING AND SNARLING.]
CATWOMAN: Looks like you're about to catch a very bad case of cat-scratch fever, Batman.
You're the one who's caught, Catwoman in the crooked claws of crime.
Spare me your morality, hero.
Who deserves these precious symbols of feline superiority more than I? Surely not the curators of that musty old museum I rescued them from.
Okay, Bats, what's it gonna be? Bat-catnip to distract the kitties or a high-frequency Bat-a-ma-jig to scramble their brains, huh? You've let larceny taint your loveliness, Catwoman.
My pets will soon silence that insolent tongue of-- Did you say lovely? Less talk, more utility belt, huh? Are you even listening to me? Lovely, yes, but evil too.
Give up this life of crime, Catwoman.
Allow me to help rehabilitate you.
Wait.
Are you two flirting? Oh, always trying to declaw me, Batman which is why I must clip your wings, permanently.
Not if I collar you first.
You are.
You're flirting.
Flirterers! [GREEN ARROW SHOUTS.]
I told you we should have taken his belt away.
[HISSES.]
You two take the overgrown elf.
I'll take the Batman.
[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING.]
Bats! You chose the wrong career, Batman.
We could be partners in crime.
The perfect power couple.
I'm a servant of justice.
But justice is always looking for new recruits.
Can you believe those two? [LAUGHS THEN GAGS.]
Shut your cat box, pal.
Time for these kittens to get back to the museum where they belong.
They belong with the one who would appreciate them most.
What can I say? I'm a girl with a taste for only the finest.
Oh, give me a break.
Ease up, Arrow.
She's only a cat burglar, not a violent psychopath.
Are you forgetting she nearly turned us into cat food back there? [CATWOMAN SHOUTS AND GREEN ARROW GRUNTS.]
-You have so got the hots for her.
-Nonsense.
My only interest in her is rehabilitation.
So letting her escape is part of your reform therapy? I'm gonna have to try that one on Clock King next time.
Don't worry, I have a hunch I'll know where to find her soon.
[GRUNTS.]
The children and I have been waiting for you, Batman.
Psycho Pirate.
When the Outsiders went missing I suspected you were behind it.
But this is sick, even for you.
All I'm doing is giving the little ones a much deserved nap.
Can I help it if their nightmares taste so delectable? You're nothing but a psychic vampire who preys on the emotions of others but it ends now.
Uh-uh-uh-uh.
Opening those chambers while the program is running will fry their tiny brains.
And pull me out and no one wakes up.
They're only kids, Pirate.
What will it take to make you release them? [LAUGHING.]
I'll stop when I've picked their minds clean.
Then I'm coming in to show you what a real nightmare is.
Just remember, Batman, when you die in the dream world you never wake up.
[PSYCHO PIRATE LAUGHING.]
[GIRL SOBBING.]
KATANA: I'm so sorry, Master Takahiro I never should have opened my big mouth.
Now Takeo knows the sword is here and he's coming for it.
Shh, young one, I will deal with Takeo but you must find a place to hide.
I've come for the katana sword, Takahiro.
He's going to kill Master Takahiro, and it's my fault.
Katana, listen to me, this is only a dream.
Psycho Pirate is manipulating you.
No.
It's all my fault.
At last.
It will do you no good.
Only a warrior of pure mind and gentle heart may wield it.
Wishful thinking from an old fool.
A shame you won't live to see how wrong you are.
[GASPS.]
You're seeing something that happened years ago.
Its a nightmare.
There's nothing we can do now.
I know.
I've relived this nightmare a hundred times.
But this time, I'm getting revenge.
Wait.
Katana.
No! [GROANING.]
KATANA: Takeo! [KATANA SHOUTS AND KATEO GRUNTS.]
[GROANING.]
[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING.]
[LAUGHING.]
You killed him, my dear.
You and that mouth you can't keep shut.
Go on, Katana, take your revenge.
Strike me down! This isn't our way.
Its not Takahiro's way.
Is that why you don't talk anymore, Katana? Because your big mouth betrayed Takahiro? You know he's wrong.
Your silence is in honor of Takahiro.
You didn't betray him.
Takahiro sacrificed himself to make you reach your full potential.
He knew only the warrior of pure mind and gentle heart could wield that sword.
And I've forgotten his most important lesson self-control.
PSYCHO PIRATE: The girl's guilt was quite tasty while it lasted but I'm still hungry.
He feeds off rage.
You were just the appetizer.
It looks like Black Lightning is the main course.
Black Lightning has always been a ball of fury.
I can only imagine what horrors he's reliving.
[GIRL SCREAMS.]
Better brace ourselves.
This could be deeply disturbing.
[CROWD SHOUTING.]
Sprinkles? On coffee? What are you, a 6 year old? Oh, so you're the reason I had to throw away a brand-new pair of high-tops Mr.
I-Forgot-the-Scoop-at-Home.
[DOG YELPING.]
And, lady, didn't you get the memo? No white after Labor Day! Not exactly the deep core of emotional trauma I expected.
[HORN HONKING.]
You drive a vehicle that big just to haul a bag of groceries? [WOMAN SCREAMS.]
Black Lightning, you need to relax and get ahold of yourself.
Relax? How can I relax when I know something like that is coming to a theater near me? That won't solve anything.
You're right.
I have to go after the filmmakers.
You're a superhero.
You're bigger than this.
You know what else makes me angry? Superheroes wearing capes.
You can't even fly! No, honey, I was going to-- No, you were supposed to pick up the kids.
Hey, cyborg, your call is about to drop.
[GROANING.]
Seen your old master around lately, chatterbox? [LAUGHING.]
BLACK LIGHTNING: So, what's with the bat decal? You're like a walking bull's-eye.
[LAUGHING.]
MAN: Hiya, kids.
Who needs a hug today? Oh, no.
It can't be! [DREAM-LIKE MUSIC PLAYING ON TV.]
Not that! Not Yorick, the Unicorn! [LAUGHING.]
Its only a kids' TV show.
Hugs do not solve everybody's problems! Neither does rage.
Every time you use your lightning, Psycho Pirate gets stronger.
Every day is free hug day.
The heck it is.
ALL: Rainbows are made of unicorn smiles.
Bath time is playtime and good, clean fun.
[GASPS.]
ALL: Rainbows are made of unicorn smiles.
Happiness is a warm hug.
That warm enough for you? You're showing the same resentment and intolerance that drove the Outsiders underground in the first place.
Use your passion to stop the real threat: Psycho Pirate.
[BLACK LIGHTNING GROANING.]
-He's right.
Okay, okay.
ALL: Rainbows are made of smiles.
Its only a silly children's show.
-Happiness is a warm hug.
ALL: Rainbows are made of smiles.
PSYCHO PIRATE: Congratulations, Batman.
You've snatched two succulent courses from my jaws.
But I still have room for dessert.
Well, the worst is over.
Once we spring Metamorpho, we're home free, right? -Don't be so sure.
-You kidding? Happy-go-lucky Morpho? I've never once seen him lose his temper.
[GROWLS.]
Looks like you're about to.
[CAR ALARM BLARING.]
[SHOUTING.]
This cannot be the same Metamorpho who sleeps with a Fuzzy Furry Doll.
Metamorpho's rage has been Psycho Pirate's real fuel source all along.
You two were just pawns to keep me busy.
Gee, thanks for that jolt of confidence, Bats.
[METAMORPHO GROWLING AND SHOUTING.]
Okay, I get it, he's really steamed.
But what about? Look at them.
They know they can walk in public without being stared at so they laugh at you behind your back.
They call you a freak.
Wait a minute.
If this is all a dream world he can't really hurt us.
Right? In Psycho Pirate's world he can but we have to make sure not to hurt Metamorpho.
He doesn't know what he's doing.
We can't blast him? Then what are we gonna do? -Reason with him? -Its our only choice.
His anger comes from feeling he's an outcast.
We have to remind him he's not.
[SIGHS.]
Well, here goes nothing.
Morpho, buddy how can you be so mad when you've got the coolest powers in the world? Me, I'm just a talking electric socket and Katana, she's a glorified paring knife.
But we count on you, dude.
You count on me? Its working.
No, they use you.
They're jealous of your power and want it for themselves.
We need a two-pronged attack.
You keep trying to get through to Metamorpho I'll take care of Psycho Pirate.
You don't really hate us, do you? Okay.
Not the answer I was hoping for.
[GRUNTS.]
You're weak, Pirate.
You don't have the guts to take on the heavy hitters, so you go after kids.
That's it, Batman.
Feed me your fury.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING.]
Metamorpho! We became the Outsiders because we all felt we were different alone and unable to fit in with everyone else.
But that's what makes us, all of us, so cool.
We're a team.
We all need each other, and we need you.
Aw, sorry, guys.
My bad.
Ugh.
Hugs.
[SHOUTING.]
No.
You didn't.
Even a psyche as warped as yours could never-- Of course I did, they're of no use to me now.
But remember, you're the reason they became heroes so it's your fault they're-- [SHOUTING.]
No greater anger than the anger of the just.
You're still feeding.
This isn't the real lab.
Indeed, Batman.
We're in your nightmare now, and there is no escape.
[CACKLING.]
There's always an escape.
What? What are you doing? I'm feeding you the one thing you can't stomach happy thoughts.
I don't always need fury to fight with.
You're looking thin, Pirate.
You should really eat something.
Try this.
[SCREAMING.]
I say we take this creep out back and.
Ahem, and let the, uh, authorities deal with him.
Speaking of authorities, keep an eye on Psycho Pirate while I call them.
Yo, those must have been some majorly happy thoughts to turn that machine into a junk pile.
Yeah.
What are Batman's happiest thoughts?