Big Nate (2022) s01e26 Episode Script

1
- Today is the best day ever!
Better than Christmas.
Better than my birthday.
Better than the eventual day
that Ellen goes
to a two-year
vocational program.
[bicycle bell rings]
- Happy April Fools' Day, Nate!
- [laughs] Exactly!
It's April Fools' Day,
AKA the most important
pranking day of the year.
And the number-one target
is the big guy himself,
Principal Nichols.
And who started
this awesome tradition?
None other than my hero,
my role model,
PS 38's all-time primo
prankster,
Brad Gunter!
[evil laughter]
My mission in life is to carry
on Gunter's pranking legacy.
The question is,
which of Gunter's
larger-than-life pranks to pull
on Principal Nichols today?
- You may proceed.
[chicken squawking]
[whoopie cushions sputter]
Please have your bags unzipped
and ready for inspection.
All pranking paraphernalia will
be confiscated and disposed of.
- Good thing Gunter
designed all of his pranks
to only use stuff
that's already in the school.
I mean, the guy was
a genius, right?
I probably shouldn't be
waving this around.
- Trying to sneak
a shark in, eh?
[shark roaring]
Nice try.
But there will be
no pranks on my watch!
[shark whimpers]
- [chuckles]
That's what he thinks.
[shark roars]
[upbeat music]
- Don't want to go
to school today ♪
The sun is red hot
and I wanna play ♪
But if I get caught
they'll make me pay ♪
Detention again ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Math and social studies
just ain't my thing ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Rocking with my band
is where I'm king ♪
Stealing the teacher's teeth
or bailing on a test ♪
- Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
Big Nate ♪
[loud clang]
[loud crash]
- [sighs]
- What's wrong, Chad?
- Principal Nichols
took away my lunch.
I don't know what's
so suspicious
about jellied pufferfish.
[slurps] Hmm.
[gags]
- I feel you, bro.
He just took
my Fart Master 7000.
- Oh. Sorry, guys.
That's rough.
- Yeah!
That Fart Master was
like a son to me.
A very smelly, hilarious son.
- Don't worry,
I've got something way better
than farts in my pants.
- A rash?
- No, no, no.
I got a cream for that.
It's the Brad Gunter prank book!
- Good morning, kiddos.
A friendly reminder to join me
in the auditorium last period
for a fun-filled
anti-littering assembly.
[students groaning]
- Trash is icky,
trash is gory ♪
Therefore, your attendance
is mandatory! ♪
[booing]
On a more serious note,
don't think
I've forgotten that
it's April Fools' Day.
[cheering]
[air horn blares]
I'd like to remind
everyone that we have
a zero-tolerance policy
when it comes to pranking.
I will not endure any
of the crazy hijinks
I've been subjected to
in years past.
Hello, I'd like
to dispute some charges.
I most certainly did not
purchase 14 fedoras
and three dozen bags
of chicken livers.
Yes, I have my account number
right here.
[screams]
[sniffs]
Egg salad?
[yawns]
[screaming]
No shenanigans.
I will not be made a fool.
And if you think
you're being funny,
you are sorely mistaken.
I won't be laughing,
and neither will you!
Also, today's lunch
is turkey rectangles.
- Who's ready to make this
an April Fools' Day to remember?
- Oh, yeah!
- Butts, butts, butts,
butts, butts, butts, butts
- What if we play
classical music
through the PA system?
[laughs]
["Ode to Joy" plays]
- I'm not feeling it, buddy.
- Oh!
We could bring litter
to the anti-littering assembly.
That would be funny.
- Ironic.
I like it.
- Ahem. Uh, hello?
Is everyone forgetting I have
the Brad Gunter prank book?
I mean, trust me!
Everything in here
is way better than
anything we could come up with.
I mean, look look at this.
One time, Brad Gunter
took all the trophies
out of the trophy case
and locked the PE teacher
in there.
[laughs]
I mean, how good is that?
- Coach John would
have a freak-out.
- Uh, I'm not messing
with Coach John.
The guy's a road rage incident
without the road.
[suspenseful music]
♪
- Who knows how to pick a lock?
- I do.
Gram Applewhite taught me.
[speaking gibberish]
Open coriander!
Ahh!
- A booby trap!
Guess old Nichols
saw this one coming.
- Ugh.
I better go take a sink bath.
And I hope the janitor
didn't clean the sink mold.
It's so soft and fuzzy.
[laughs]
- [gasps] I know!
Let's find
all the pranking gear that
Nichols took from our bags
this morning.
You know it's awesome stuff if
he doesn't want us to have it.
- Oh, please.
That junk was brought here
by amateurs with a capital A.
We need something Gunter-level.
Ooh. Look, look, look!
Gunter once replaced
all the books in the library
with jelly sandwiches.
Operation
Let's Go Find Us Some Jelly.
[laughter]
[all gasp, grunt]
- No cafeteria access.
Principal Nichols' orders.
- You know what?
I'm out.
I don't really have skin
in this game.
Got to stay in one piece
for the next drama club play,
"Five Mummies, One Bandage."
- OK, OK. Oh!
OK. I got it.
Gunter once stole
the principal's desk
and put it outside
in the soft cement.
Rumor has it,
it wasn't even that hard.
You down?
- Obviously!
[suspenseful music]
♪
[whimpers]
[alarm blaring]
- Danger! Intruder!
Danger! Intruder!
Danger! Intruder!
- [giggles]
First catch of the day.
Head to detention, Nate.
- [stammering] Who?
What? Me? Why?
I didn't even do anything.
- You sure didn't,
because I was
one step ahead of you.
I know every trick
in the book, son.
You're not the only one who's
kept a record of pranks, Nate.
[giggles]
- It's on ♪
- [groans]
- They see me rollin',
they hatin' ♪
Patrolling and trying
to catch me ridin' dirty ♪
Trying to catch me
ridin' dirty ♪
Trying to catch me
ridin' dirty ♪
Trying to catch me
ridin' dirty ♪
Trying to catch me
ridin' dirty ♪
My music's so loud,
I'm swangin' ♪
They hoping that they gonna
catch me ridin' dirty ♪
Trying to catch me
ridin' dirty ♪
Trying to catch me
ridin' dirty ♪
Trying to catch me
ridin' dirty ♪
Trying to catch me
riding dirty ♪
[toilet flushing]
- What was that?
There's no bathroom
in detention.
Trust me.
I one time had 12 juice packs
and got myself
into some pretty desperate
times down here.
Uh, hello?
Hello?
Is, uh is someone down here?
Huh?
[clattering]
[suspenseful music]
♪
[dramatic music]
Brad Gunter?
- Nate Wright, we meet again.
- Brad Gunter?
What are you doing here?
- [laughs] I'm always here!
Haven't you noticed me
watching over you all year?
- Huh?
Attention!
Soldiers, if we're going
to win this thing,
we have to be strong.
Time to disrupt time
one more time.
- Look, a perfect match.
- Ha ha!
- Whoa.
You just hang around the school?
Just to, like, keep tabs on me?
W w wait a minute.
Are you saying that
I'm the chosen one?
- Of course you are!
Also, it's convenient
'cause I live here.
- [laughs] Yeah, right.
That's a good one, Gunter.
- Ah, looks like I have
a young skeptic on my hands.
Perhaps you should follow me
into my humble abode,
compadre, so you can see
for yourself.
♪
- Oof!
Hey, compadre,
we've got a bathroom
just like this up top.
- Oh, do you?
I don't think so.
[clicking]
[clank]
- [gasps]
- You coming?
- Following a stranger into
a secret toilet portal?
Um, yes!
Oh, this is so cool!
A basement apartment!
- [laughs] Apartment?
No, no, no.
You got to think big, Nate.
- Big Nate.
I kind of like
the sound of that.
[theme music plays]
- Don't want ♪
- This is no mere
basement apartment.
This is my
subterranean domicile,
my secret lair,
my fortress of solitude.
Welcome to the off-the-grid
world
of the Gunterverse! [echoes]
- Whoa, I heard the echo
as you said that.
This is so awesome!
- Awesomeness is what
it's all about, kid.
And as the chosen one, one day,
the Gunterverse will be yours.
- [gasps]
It'll be the Nateverse?
- No. No, man.
It will always be
the Gunterverse.
I named it, and that's
That's the rule.
Don't don't get greedy.
- Huh?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Look at this!
You draw comics too!
Uh, do you post 'em
on, like, social media?
Or or sell 'em on the internet?
- Inter-what now?
- [laughs] OK.
Yeah, no, I get it.
You kick it old school.
- Why'd you end up
in detention, Nate?
You get pinched while
cooking up some elaborate
April Fools' Day shenanigans?
- Ugh. Yeah.
In fact, I was trying to decide
which of your epic pranks
to pull,
until Principal Nichols
sniffed it out.
But, hey, now that I've got
the real-life Brad Gunter
to inspire me,
we don't have to play
with your greatest hits.
We can come up with
a whole new prank!
- No, no, no, young Mowgli,
my pre-pubescent prodigy.
The best inspiration comes
from within.
[soft dramatic music]
♪
Gaze at this poster, Nate.
Therein lies your answer.
♪
- [grunting]
Ugh.
Yeah, I'm going to be honest.
All I see are squiggles.
- Then you must change
your focus.
- Ugh!
Well, that's my problem.
I can never focus
when I'm at school.
- Well, then let's blow
this Popsicle stand!
- [laughs] Yeah, if only.
Our Creature Teacher, Godfrey,
guards the detention elevator.
- [scoffs] Godfrey.
I've been outsmarting that
old bat since back in the day,
when she had a mouth
full of original teeth.
Follow me.
[suspenseful music]
♪
- Where are we?
- We are within.
- Whoa!
How'd you know about
these secret passages?
- You knew about them, Nate.
You just didn't know you knew.
[fan blowing]
[chicken squawking]
- Hey, uh, what was
that compartment for?
- Oh-ho-ho.
Well, that, my friend,
is where all
the principals of yore
have stashed
the pranking supplies
they've confiscated
from kids entering school
on April Fools' Day.
- Those kids should have taken
a page from your book, huh?
[chicken squawking]
- [gasps]
- Hi, Nate!
- Chad?
What are you doing here?
It's not recess.
- Oh.
That would explain the
complete absence of people.
- Hey, Chad, um,
don't tell anyone
you saw me with Brad Gunter, OK?
[loon calling]
- OK.
- Where to?
- Hey, um, maybe we should
get some ice cream.
That always starts to get
my creative juices flowing.
- That sounds like a good plan,
my little amigo.
Presuming that you're buying,
of course.
[suspenseful music]
♪
- Gotcha!
Huh.
Gotcha!
Freeze!
Is that a water balloon?
- Huh?
- You were going to throw
a water balloon at me!
No way. No, sirree.
I'm not falling
for that trickery again.
- Oh, no.
It's an app
- Drop it!
[squelches]
- Applesauce? Oh!
[frog croak]
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah ♪
- One scoop of each and every
flavor on the menu.
Enjoy.
I got to go ice my scooping arm.
- Oh!
All these crazy flavors
are blowing my mind!
Mmm.
- Is the sugar rush kicking in?
- Mmm.
[gasps]
- You got an idea?
- [yelling]
- Quick! Tell me!
Tell me, tell me, tell me!
- Oh, no.
That was a brain freeze.
- Aw. OK.
Well, um, how about we go
to the comic book store?
Reading comics always
gives me awesome ideas.
- [burps]
[bowl shatters]
- Busted!
No one TPs my school
on my watch.
- Oh, wait! No!
That's my mummy costume!
- Ha! Likely story.
- You coming to rehearsal,
Dee Dee?
- Heh. Oh.
[chuckles] Break a leg.
[chuckles]
- Ooh!
There's finally a new Larva Man.
- About time, huh?
We haven't heard from Larva Man
since he squared off
against Velociraptor.
- Oh, yeah. Totally.
- Are you telling me that
Larva Man met Velociraptor?
- Uh, yeah, like a decade ago.
You know they're
roommates, right?
- Why did you have
to spoil it for me?
- You drop the merch
you buy it, little bro.
- Wasn't me. Bye!
- Oh, come on, man!
[grunting]
[screams]
[Boston's "More Than a Feeling"]
♪
- Anything coming to you?
Anything at all?
- Oh, man, I almost had it!
You broke my concentration.
- How is it?
- Old and stale.
Pizza's good, though.
- Best 'za in town.
- Something's coming to me.
- Finally!
OK, OK.
What do you got?
- Wait for it.
Wait for it.
[gags, swallows]
Never mind,
it was just some throat acid.
Tastes like egg.
- Ugh!
We're going to miss
April Fools' Day entirely!
- Well, don't yell at me!
You're the one who wants
to pull off an epic prank.
- Yeah, and you're
the only one who can help me!
- That's a lot of pressure,
you know,
to put on someone
who hasn't left
their apartment in 30 years.
- 30 years?
You seriously haven't left
the school, like, ever?
- I live off the land.
My homeland.
PS 38, the place where
I reached peak awesomeness.
Everything I could ever need
is within the walls
of that school.
- Wow.
That is really pathetic.
[gasps] The walls!
Everything we need
is in the walls!
[laughs] I get it.
That's our prank.
Come on, you crazy genius!
- Oh, man!
I was finally getting the hang
of those eating sticks.
[upbeat music]
♪
- Where did you come from, dude?
I thought you had detention.
- There's somebody
you have to meet.
Guys, this is
the legendary Brad Gunter!
[wind whooshes]
Wait.
He was just here with me.
Well, he he must have
gone ahead to his place.
Follow me.
- He's lost it.
- I knew this day was coming.
- Come on.
Come on, guys.
Let's go!
Wait until you see
his secret lair.
You guys are gonna freak!
Ahh!
[shark growling]
[suspenseful music]
- [grunting]
[whimpering]
Hey, buddy.
Can I get an assist, please?
[groaning]
[grumbles]
Ahh!
They sure do make
these doors too small.
Am I right?
Give me a little push,
would you?
[screams]
Thanks, kiddo.
Be good out there today.
Make smart choices.
♪
- Ugh!
This is super whack, dude.
- It's a horizontal slide.
- [sneezes]
- This reminds me of when
I played the role
of Heating Duct
in the esteemed anthology,
If "These Walls Could Squawk,
Part Deux."
- Are you guys ready?
Oh! Ow!
[all grunting]
- May I present the
[clears throat]
Subterranean domicile
of the legendary Brad Gunter!
Huh?
[mice squeaking]
- Ooh, a closet.
Or as Gram Applewhite
calls it, a panic room.
Thank you for sharing, Nate.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This is this is
Gunter's secret lair.
He brought me here
from detention.
We hung out.
- Gunter was here,
like, 30 years ago.
Why would he be
hanging around PS 38?
He's probably a middle-aged
accountant in Boston now.
- Or a lizard.
He might be a lizard.
- Wait, wait, wait.
No.
Come on, guys.
W wait.
Chad, you saw me with
Gunter, remember?
Today, on the playground.
- I didn't see Gunter.
- No OK.
I know why you're doing that.
But Chad, it's it's OK.
It's it's just us.
For real.
You remember?
When you were on the slide?
- [humming]
[gasps]
- Hi, Nate!
- Hey, Chad?
Um, don't tell anyone you saw me
with Brad Gunter, OK?
[loon calling]
- OK.
- Hey, um, maybe we
should get some ice cream.
- Yeah. That'll
[creature screeching]
- No! Not you again!
- We went for pizza
and ice cream.
We were just about
to pull off the perfect prank.
- Sorry, Nate, but I think
this whole Gunter thing
is all in your head.
- Oh, you are nuttier than
a sack of squirrels, dude!
- That reminds me.
If we don't get
to Principal Nichols'
anti-littering assembly,
he might lose it.
He's pretty unhinged today.
- Oh, not this again.
- [sobbing]
Why?
Come back, Gunter!
Without you,
how will I ever become
the greatest prankster
of my generation?
- Gaze into the poster.
You got to think big, Nate.
- What?
Wait a minute.
This whole thing was in
my head, not Gunter's.
Mine!
I'm the one who thought
of the perfect prank.
I'm the crazy genius.
Hey!
Hey, wait, wait, wait!
You guys! Wait up!
We've got some
epic pranking to do!
- [grumbles] [suspenseful music]
- [grunting]
[pop, splashing]
- [clears throat]
Good afternoon, boys and girls.
First and foremost,
I owe you my eternal gratitude
for refraining
from pranking me this year.
First time in decades
we made it through
a whole April Fools' Day
without incident.
- [laughs]
[upbeat music]
- Now, let's talk about litter.
[students groan]
[chicken squeaking]
- Litter is bad, very bad.
And the only one
who can stop litter
from growing out of control
is each and every one of you.
- Hey, are you guys
seeing what I'm seeing?
Crazy.
- Now, stay with me,
boys and girls.
I know what'll pep you up.
This is a little dance
I like to call,
the Litterbug Jitterbug.
♪
[students chattering]
Not bad for an old principal.
Right, kids? Ahh!
Huh?
[phone beeps]
["Ode to Joy" playing]
♪
[objects squeaking]
[laughter]
♪
[laughter]
♪
- [laughing]
♪
Huh?
Oh!
[squelching]
[chicken squeaks]
[all gasping]
- [laughs]
[uplifting music]
♪
[laughter]
♪
I haven't laughed that hard
in a long, long time.
I got to give you an A-plus
for originality there, Nate.
- [laughs] Thanks!
See, Principal Nichols?
April Fools' Day isn't so bad.
- Mm-hmm.
I also got to give you
detention, of course.
- Worth it.
- Detention again ♪
- Big Nate! Big Nate! ♪
- Nate Wright's All-Time
Greatest Pranks.
[chuckles] Page one.
♪
- Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
- [laughs]
- Big Nate! ♪